The Four Choices to Overcome Adversity | Carrie Koh | TEDxValparaisoUniversity
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Experiencing adversity is a given but allowing that adversity to derail the impact you are meant to have in this world is not. This talk will give you the freedom to regain control and cultivate resiliency by examining four key choices you make when bad things happen. Overcoming adversity through these choices will allow you to experience life and leadership in a surprisingly, refreshing way. Carrie Koh is a healthcare executive and CEO of Carrie Koh Consulting with a passion for enhancing the way we communicate with one another to ensure efficient and innovative results with greater fulfillment along the way. She helps individuals and organizations overcome their greatest obstacles through bridging the divide between opposing perspectives and creating Interpersonal Efficiency, a state of leadership where strategy and feedback can flow freely, devoid of toxicity, judgement and fear. Facing the death of her first-born child has taught her that tragedy does not need to end in suffering. She uses these lessons in personal growth to enhance the professional development of her clients. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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Carrie is to be applauded for the bucket list she created for her son to enjoy and for giving him those memories.
Thank you!
Lol loved the story around the 5:17 mark, we've definitely all been that bleeping woman.
LOL Yep!! sure have :)
4:28 1. Ownership of uncormatble emotions rather then projecting
5:31 2. Connection with negatives. Experiencing benefits.
6:52 3. Identity, Self confidence
7:46 4. Changing Focus
thanks for the timestamps!
I can relate to Carrie's hesitation to open that book. Sometimes, it's just too overwhelming to face our suffering head-on. It takes time to gather the strength to confront our pain and find ways to cope with it.
Thank you for your comment. It's definitely a choice to be ready to end our own suffering.
There's no such thing as a good or bad person. We're all just people doing things that get perceived one way or another by other people based on their own experiences and perspectives.
Yes, such a good point. Thanks for your comment.
FANTASTIC!!! Everyone needs to hear this. Congrats, Carrie. You really earned it.
Thanks Brian!
Carrie's realization that she wasn't alone in facing her hardship is powerful. It's true that bad things happen to good people every day, and I understand how focusing on that can leave us feeling hopeless. I guess knowing that others go through similar struggles can offer some solace and solidarity.
While adopting this proactive mindset can be empowering, we must also recognize that certain situations may genuinely limit our available choices. In those situations all we can do is control our responses to it
For me the take away from Carrie's talk is that even in the darkest of times, there are choices we can make to find moments of joy and meaning.
this really hit home. need to watch again. thank you Carrie
You are so welcome.
Sometimes we stay in that place because that's where we're comfortable. I don't think society as a whole does very well at sitting with anything uncomfortable.
Agreed! the status quo feels safe for most people, even if it's not where one desires to be
1000% this
The choice to take ownership of our emotions and behaviors during adversity is crucial for personal growth and resilience.
Nevertheless, finding freedom through choices might not always be attainable for those facing systemic or societal barriers.
While it's admirable to celebrate Elliot's life, I can understand why some people might find it difficult to do so in the face of such heart-wrenching circumstances.
Wasn't sure when I started this, but really liked it, good info!
Adversity!!
Is not guilt
It’s aggression
I'm sorry but I couldn't get past the first few minutes, it's so heart breaking. I do really admire this woman's ability to talk about it with positivity though
Choosing our identity and defining who we truly are is empowering, but it might not be so clear-cut for everyone, especially in times of hardship.
However, for some people, finding joy in the midst of adversity might seem elusive and not as straightforward as it sounds.
The concept of choices in adversity resonates with me. It's empowering to know that even when we face difficult circumstances, we still have choices. Taking ownership of our emotions and behaviors is crucial to navigating through tough times
This title is very interesting but I am hard of hearing and need closed captions or a transcript to follow along...
Focusing on what's within our control during adversity helps us find strength and navigate through challenging situations, but it's not always easy to discern what is truly within our control, and that can lead to feelings of frustration.
I agree that choosing our identity is essential, but circumstances and societal expectations can often cloud our understanding of who we are, especially when it comes from people close to us.
While purpose and meaning can provide a sense of direction, they might not erase the pain or difficulties experienced during tough times.
Why can't we just simply choose joy?
Because we've been taught not to.
We can, it's the not letting things affect the joy that's the tricky part
Gosh this is heartbreaking. I didn't know a TEDx could make me feel so many things. Such a noble thing you're doing here Carrie and I've no doubt it will lead to transformative experiences for many people ♥
Thank you so much for this comment. It's been such a blessing to serve others through this experience.
What a touching and powerful story! Choosing to celebrate Elliot's life and creating a bucket list for him was truly inspiring.
Thank you!
awesome talk!
Thanks!
Focusing on what is in our control, even when facing uncontrollable problems, is a valuable mindset. It's a reminder to channel our energy and efforts toward what truly matters to us. By doing so, we can find a sense of empowerment and uncover new possibilities.
Yes! Thank you for your comment.
I think it's essential to acknowledge that some choices may not lead to immediate and dramatic transformations. Sometimes it is a slow and arduous process
In the midst of grief, sorrow and depression it's difficult to make positive choices and overcome your situation.
thank you for your comment. Yes, that's why connection is such an important part of the journey.
I think connection is vital during tough times; it allows us to share our burdens and find support from others.
yes, that support through connection is so key!
The point she made about identity and confidence being tied in was really poignant for me. I've never drawn that connection but it's absolutely true, whenever someone has treated me in a way that doesn't match who I think I am my confidence definitely takes a hit. I guess in those moments I just have to remember who I am and stay true to that.
Yes to remembering who you are!
The story of Elliot's battle with myotubular myopathy is heartbreaking. It reminds me that life can be so unpredictable, and even the tiniest shifts can have immense consequences. Such a stark reminder of the fragility of our hopes and dreams.
Thank you for that reflection.
I think lots of people want to stay in that space because sometimes it can make us feel guilty, like by choosing to get over it and continue living our lives is somehow disrespecting the person who is no longer here.
That's so true. I relate to that and learning to see guilt as another form of suffering was helpful to see new solutions. Thank you for your comment.
I really like the approach to dealing with adversity that she's laying out here.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
I back this so hard. Getting over the shhtty things that happen in life is 100% a choice
Yes! It's a choice!
4:26 start
Examining your feelings is valuable advise that no one taught me to do. Growing up we spoke of all sorts of things but not our feelings.
You are not alone! That’s so common unfortunately! Thanks for sharing.
I feel like a lot of men could relate to what you're saying here
I have so much admiration for the way this lady chose to honor her littles ones life. Every response we have to something is a choice.
Thank you so much. I appreciate your comment!
Absolutely, so beautiful.
All night I've been watching videos, all night I've been looking for something that'll help me wake up with some clarity tomorrow. Watching this talk and all of her finding purpose and meaning in life, even when faced with such intense challenges... Full on. Thank you for sharing this. Really.
We don’t realise that we have so many choices, Positive and Negative!
Thank you so much for this! ❤️
Wow! Best speech I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing.. currently An mtm x-linked father. Many blessings from ORANGE COUNTY, California
Thank you so much Diego. Best wishes to you and your MTM warrior! They shape our lives in amazing ways!
Carrie's talk inspires us to re-evaluate our choices and approach adversity with determination and a growth mindset 💪💪
Some really cool stuff happens when we shift our way of thinking about things and I appreciate the way she's encouraging people to approach adversity with determination and a growth mindset.
Perfect talk at a perfect time for it, thanks carrie!
You are so welcome!
This was really tough to watch but I'm happy she was able to find so much meaning in her experience
It's not always easy to take ownership of our emotions, especially when external factors seem to overwhelm us.
Interesting n informative talk. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
I appreciated her emphasis on the way personal leadership has a ripple effect. It's amazing how some people still don't realize our choices influence the people around us.
I admire that Carrie was able to celebrate Elliots life and invite others in her family to do the same. Reaching out for help and connection can be challenging, especially for people who prefer to handle their struggles in solitude.
this approach to overcoming adversity and making conscious choices is commendable and has the potential to create a positive impact in our lives.
THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!! Such an important message! Wow. So inspired!!!
Thank you!
The nurse's suggestion to make each day the best day for Elliot is truly inspiring. It's amazing how a simple shift in perspective and a decision to celebrate life can bring so much meaning and joy, even in the face of adversity
Yes, sometimes it just takes hearing one statement to shift ever so slightly, and that makes all the difference.
Yes, sometimes it just takes hearing one statement to shift ever so slightly, and that makes all the difference.
The idea of taking control of our choices is empowering, and it can indeed lead to a sense of agency over our lives.
Creating that bucket list was such a beautiful way for the family to cherish every moment they had together. It shows that even during the most challenging times, we can choose to focus on creating precious memories and finding happiness where we can. Also loved how it created an opportunity for her husbands family to celebrate Elliot as well. So beautiful and poignant
Thanks so much for your comment! It was a beautiful time despite the circumstances.
The importance of connection during adversity cannot be overstated. Sharing our struggles with loved ones or seeking support from professionals can have a profound impact on our well-being. It reminds us that we don't have to face challenges alone
Yes, this is so so important! Thank you for your comment!
"Adversity does not require suffering". Thanks Carrie for that take away. Unfortunately society conditions us to suffer when adversity enters out lives.
Yes, and it’s a choice we get to make every day!
I really love Carrie's call to shift our focus from "what choice do I have?" to "what choice can I make?" I think it encourages a proactive approach to life's challenges.
Thank you! There is so much power in choice
Definitely sharing this one Carrie, I know so many people who could benefit from what you're saying here.
Thank you Pav! I’m so grateful!
The idea of choosing my own identity is so empowering! It's easy to let a situation or other people define us, but I can see how taking a pause to reflect on who we truly are at our core helps to regain that confidence when people are trying to question our idea of ourselves.
Yes!! You define who you get to be and become!
The analogy of one tiny shift having catastrophic results in her son's muscle cells is a powerful reminder of how small choices can have significant consequences in our lives.
It was such a profound lesson. Thank you for your comment.
"I was trapped in a cycle of making choices that increased my suffering rather than released it." As someone who has been in a similar cycle I really get how huge of a moment it is to realize this.
Thank you! It really is extraordinary when we can see how our choices guide our outcomes. I appreciate your comment!
This was a great message!
I love the emphasis Carrie puts on how it's the choices we make. Often we can feel powerless and forget that we have options in terms of how to frame things.
Absolutely, we have so much more control than we think we do!
"I was not ready to be pulled from my suffering" I feel like this rings true for a lot of people.
Yes, I agree. And sometimes suffering is what's expected from others, which makes it easier to stay there. Thanks for your comment
this is great.
thank you!
@@carriekoh6238 thanks for doing the hard work!
Great
Thank you!
Thank you!
Module.
Yup absolutely Carrie owning our emotions is paramount, it can be all too easy to shrug off responsibility but that is also a fast track to disempowering yourself.
Yes! Thank you for your comment. It is indeed the fast track to disempowerment!