Why Not Choose Kindness
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2015
- RE: Dear Fat People
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People like you is the person i want to be.
I KNOW RIGHT!
+Rusty Clanton
I envy you for being able to speek from experience. But Rusty, I agree whole hartedly! Hope to meet you both, one day.
+Jessica Morrison If everyone was like her this world would be a much better place
Tessa for president
She's got my vote! 2020!
+Rusty Clanton your comments on this video are perfect and very clever x love your videos rusty!
+Rusty Clanton She's 30? 'Cause you've got to be 35. Oh, and if so, she'll get my vote.
Definitely.
deez nuts for president 😂 jk
I feel so much pity seeing people try to sound smart while defending their right to degrade other human beings.
+Rusty Clanton Yes! Thank you!
The problem comes down to pride
+Rusty Clanton "I hate your videos, Tessa, because I should have the right to be a dick without anyone calling me out!" - 100% of the dissent to this video
Rusty! :) Love you, man.
Amen
"Honesty can be delivered with kindness or cruelty". I like that. You are so precious so this world. Thank you.
Weunelect despite it is well said it's not completely true. Honesty can not be cruel or kind, it's just as it is. And to be kind to people means to be lying to them because everybody has some sort of delusion about themselves. If you want to be honest you eventually will have to say something that contradicts with other people's perception of themselves. And it can be perceived as cruelty...
I heard a friend say once, "When you say 'I'm just being honest,' are you being honest by sharing the *truth*, or are you only being honest by sharing how *you feel* about the situation?" Both can be important. The latter is almost never necessary.
I cried with you.
at first, i was like "wow nice stand" but when you started tearing up, i did too because _you meant what you said_ that we are all lovable and i really needed someone to just say that and mean it so thank you.
So much tasty tasty truth here. Lots to think about for me.
You are the first and last you in all of human history.
Powerful words right there. Legit made me cry.
:)
Reminds me of Delenn's candle scene in Babylon 5 ua-cam.com/video/ihA4qZYWikw/v-deo.html
This is a good message to hear even if you haven't seen the Dear Fat People video. Go Tessa!
+Evan Gingrich I was like, "what video is she talking about...?"
And then I remember that I don't regularly browse Facebook or the nastier parts of other social media, and I like to think that most people I have on there are not the kind that would post such a video with the intention of hurting others.
This is SO perfect!!!!
Oh dodie❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
😥 Yes 🙏
saying this as an overweight gentleman, kindness is telling me the truth to get me to understand i am hurting myself with my habits. tough love.
being kind with your words is sweet and all but won't solve a problem that could lead to many health problems and a shorter life.
why not choose kindness? the truth is seldom kind and no matter how pretty the kindness, it's a lie. i will choose the truth
+tiggstah true, but there is a difference between mean honesty and kind honesty. mean honesty is saying "hey you fat fuck, eat some broccoli," and kind honesty is saying "I am concerned about your wellbeing as a person and because I care about you I would like to see you make some healthier life choices." being kind and being a liar are NOT synonymous behaviors
+Michaela Belle YES! It's such a simple solution if you understand empathy. Great response, Michaela!
+tiggstah To make someone aware of the truth that they are hurting themselves can be kind. But to do so in a way that makes them feel worthless and ashamed is not kind. I think 'tough love' can be beneficial in a personal relationship - but it's not for general administration via a UA-cam video. You can't just dole out 'tough love' to anyone and expect them to benefit from it.
true. but, she wasn't speaking to one person whom she was concerned with. and her video was meant to contain shocking humor. there are plenty of people saying nice sweet things yet obesity problem is only getting worse. and worse yet, there is this whole fat acceptance movement from sjw's that can only make the problem far far worse.
but ultimately, it's just a video on youtube. shaming this person may make you feel good but it helps nobody. as offensive as her video is it may have shocked some people enough to take a look in the mirror and make a change.
i myself have benefited from exactly this. for me it was a video i saw a month or two ago from some guy speaking hard truths about how there may be exceptions but for 90 plus percent of overweight people the problem is laziness.
there was a message in her video meant to by funny with hard truths. if you disagree with her delivery, instead of shaming her, make content to solve the problem with your own standards of kindness.
if you only shame her and remain silent about the problem she is addressing, you are not being a part of a solution; you are the problem.
oh, just one other observation.
not everyone needs to be nice. unfortunately there are some tasks that require an absence of compassion. the world's a tough place.
plus, not everyone responds to kindness. i didn't. it took cold callous truth to make me realize i needed to make a change.
was she in any way nice? no
was it offensive? absolutely
but is she required to be nice? no
will a "kind" person get the job done 100% of the time? no, sometimes it takes an asshole.
"I don't think getting to be perceived as funny is worth the expense of someone being torn down."
This sentence you said just sums up everything. Thank you for the lovely video Tessa :)
The truth is that real change only happens when people can accept themselves and see all the good things about themselves first. Kindness is patience and a willingness to be humble. I love you Tessa, you are really beautiful. Do you still have a cat?
So true!
"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."
- Thumper
i love you
+monsterkattt i love her too :)
+markomal123 i love her three and four
+darkomen4379 I love her five
i lo ve 5ever
Who wouldn't love Tessa?
making me cry x 10000
I love this. Always always always choose kindness. Kindness is not weakness.
This is my favorite video. I come back to it a lot. “Kindness is honest.”
You're one of the best people on the Internet. Keep swimming, Tessa. Been watching you for years, and it's obvious to me how intelligent, lovely, and compassionate you are. I needed to see somebody give a shit this week. Life has been hard and I am depressed. And so many people in my life have been treating me with unkindness, a lack of kindness, when I've needed it the most. Thank you.
yasssssss
+Nanalew YASSSSSSS!!
EDIT: hey, you have cool videos!, totally agree on the "goals" thing, I've started using GTD apps setting checkpoints for myself and it's crazy how much you can get done if you break things up in small chewable bits. **hi five**
😥Yes 🙏
Thanks for using your platform to do good & uplift.
Being kind is a thing most people don't do cause in our culture we love thing and use people instead of loving people and using things. Sadly we need to remember that people are just like us.
I've had a very bad week in a bad 2 months. This video had a profound effect on me when it was released, and whilst I may not always choose kindness as much as I should I do try to live by that way of thinking. And whilst it may have been meant in a different context but today I remembered the words from 3:28 and so I came back to this video. It's what I need to hear right now. Thank you, Tessa.
As it pertains to not insulting or belittling others, yes definitely. Completely agree. Be excellent to one another. But there's something Anna Akana said where she noted, "Be kind but not too kind." which is a problem a lot of young girls go through. Where they are kind in their workplace (do all the little things that their co-workers ask them), overly to their friends (are there whenever their friends need them) and forget to put themselves first sometimes. Which can be damaging in the long run.
However, that's different from the examples you mentioned (in terms of being polite and treating each other with respect) and with that 100% agree.
Love this video! : )
this is still to this day my favourite video on youtube and i revisit it often
This is so, so important.
I would add, to anyone who was made to feel small or ashamed by cruel comments, whether Arbour's video or any other circumstances... "Why not choose kindness?" is a good reminder question for how I treat and think about myself as well... Choosing to be kind to myself in my thoughts, rather than allowing other people's cutting words to trap me in thinking cruelly of myself. Because it's so easy to be caught into believing others' cruelties, and seeing only faults in myself, and incessantly criticizing myself and repeating other's criticisms to myself, instead of being gentle and kind to myself. I want to be kind to others... so why not treat myself the same way?
what kind of world do you want to live in? one where people are as thoughtful, respectful, and kind as you. thank you, Tessa!
Oh Tessa. I love you.
I refuse to watch the Dear Fat People video because as an obese person I feel bad enough already. I have watched more than a few responses (including Meghan's) but yours is by far the one I agree with the most.
I am tired of meanness especially disguised as comedy. There are plenty of things to laugh about without tearing another human down. We are all human and we al deserve kindness whether we agree on things or not.
Anyway, thank you for this. I've missed your videos so much. Hugs.
Dawn
I still think about this video all the time.
To recap: Kindness is the quality and intention of an action, not the action itself. Be aware of yourself, if you've got something to say, say it in a way that is respectful to others (people are also more likely to listen that way). It is indeed possible to talk about negative topics in a positive- not necessarily sugar coated, but respectful way.
This video is a perfect example. She respectfully addresses the different perspectives of people that don't necessarily choose kindness- particularly in this context- but she does it so empathetically and makes it more like a conversation, rather than just belittling the people that disagree with her. Preach Tessa 🙌❤️ much love
Sometimes I'm accidentally rude and don't even notice and it's really annoying
A few years ago, I was very mean to people, making fun of their insecurities because I had a lot of them. I started to realise that I can't do that, I chose kindness a while ago and it's the best thing I've ever done.
Be nice to nice.
Thank you so much for this video Tessa :)
The Bible says to "Love the Lord with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself" this is the total law of the Bible. Being kind all the time is to validate others. People are almost extinct in the sense once we lose a person Earth will never get them back. What they added to this world will be no more.
+CrismaFire This is an awesome comment, and I want to explain why.
I made a response video as well and a LOT of people saw it... *WAY* more than I anticipated. There were hundreds of incredible comments, but there were also plenty of not so supportive comments.
Naturally, there were many comments about gluttony. Yet again, people find a way to use the Bible as a tool for hate. But you... you're alright. It's refreshing to see a UA-cam comment that is using the Bible for good.
+CrismaFire The Bible also states... Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone know loves knows God. He who love not (hates) does not know God, for God is love.
Tess, I just discovered you and I've begun to fall in love with your music. It makes me so happy to see videos like this and know how beautiful you are inside and out and how much you genuinely care about others and showing kindness. I'm so glad your career has gone so well, and I hope it only continues to get better 💗
"Why let a moment of power be worth the expense of belittling someone?" Those words really resounded with me. I also like how you pointed out that people are often cruel because of peer pressure (e.g. in middle school). It doesn't make it right, but I think all of us are guilty of it at some time or another. When I think about the times people have torn me apart, I wish that I could say I've never been cruel in return. But I can't. All I can do is resolve to be kinder in the future. I think that guilt over mistreating people is a powerful tool; we just can't let it consume us. That's the struggle I face anyway. Thank you for this video, Tessa! I needed it.
You're absolutely right. I adore you, thanks for making this.
I knew id like this video before I even watched it
This brought me to tears... Thank you for your words, Tessa. They truly help.
This video is so powerful.
Time and again I come back to it, so I can reflect and remember how much our words affects other people.
Thank you, Tessa.
On the part where you said that people say cruel things to be funny i have something to add. Sarcasm, which is what that is, comes from a greek word that means "to tear at flesh like dogs". Since having learned that I can't think of using sarcasm the same again. I think of James' words when he comments on how "the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things." So, ought we use our tongues to light raging fires, or to bless the souls of our fellow men?
"Why not burn down your house?"
Cause I want to live in it and I can't do that while it's on fire.
"Why not choose kindness?"
Uh, I don't know, I don't have a good reason not to.
"Why not" is a fine reason to do something if there isn't actually a reason why not. So it doesn't apply to things that... you know, have a really good reason why not.
Sometimes it is cruel to be kind whether it be intentional or not. A friend of mine was becoming dangerously obese and it was putting alot of stress on his heart, he didn't listen to Doctors or his friends and family. I honestly didn't think he was going to live long, oneday however a random person heckled him in the street for being overweight and it stuck with him, he had enough of the insults as he used to be bullied in school and it gave him the strength to diet and exercise to a healthy body, his mood changed as well he used to be so depressed and he just became happier.
I thought I was your fan until I watched this video. Now I like you even more. Thank you for opening up to us about those questions (and even entire conversations) happening on your head, and thank you very much for being so warm, close and kind during this video. For what's worth, I've always tried to choose kindness over meanness and apologized whenever I messed up, but from now on I'll carry your words in my heart because now it feels like that behavior makes sense. I don't really know how to put it in words, so just… thank you for doing this.
Lots of love ❤️
Thank you. This was so powerful. Thank you for being authentic and presenting your thoughts in such a convicting and encouraging way. I try to always choose kindness... But this is me committing to always #choosekindness
Congratulations on 1 million subscribers
Watching this video, has made me realise just how much I LOVE your videos, just because of how deep they are, the amazing messages that you send out, and I admire how much you think things through (I also think A LOT). You are an amazing person. You don't need to be kind, I don't need to say thank you when I get off the bus, or say thank you when I buying something from the shops from someone, or say thank you when someone puts the shopping divider there, or anything else, but I choose it because they are doing something and I am thankful for them. Even a cleaner (not trying to belittle them, just can't think of the correct word) that stopped and gave me way, I would say thank you, because he went out of his way and stopped so the least I could do is say thank you. Sometimes you get caught in the spur of the moment and say something not very nice, but as long as you have the realisation of what you have done, then that bad moment that you will regret will become a good lesson learnt. A big THANK YOU for bringing this topic along so I can really think about it.
I can't take you crying though, if you had cried more then I would haveT_T
It's so beautiful how emotional you are about other's feelings. I agree with you so much, nothing you gain could be worth hurting another person.
wow. ive seen so many responses to that video, but none done like this. this hit home really hard. you weren't calling nicole out or blaming her, you were taking this incident and saying, 'look, this is happening a lot, what can we do to change it?' really interesting and well-said.
sweet angel you are
I appreciate your message and the conviction with which you delivered it. Your compassion is inspiring.
Way to go! This message found me at a juncture in my life where I was reconsidering my views of accepting everyone and being kind to others because it takes a lot out of me but after watching this, I know that kindness the one thing I know I can give and if others are not gonna do it, I will. Thnx Tess. I am a huge fan and hope you can keep enlightening your audience with videos like this.
I think a lot of choosing to be kind also has to do with your ability to either empathize with, or dehumanize other people. And truth be told, I think everyone does both things to those around them. We empathize with those we look up to and admire, and dehumanize those we perceive as inexcusably idiotic or cruel. What really baffles me a lot is just how differing people's definitions of acceptable and unacceptable behavior are. I for one am a meat eater who's profile pic is the Twilight Saga: New Moon poster. That in and of itself earns me a lot of haters, because both these attributes are seen by some people as being somehow supportive of cruelty (animal cruelty and abusive relationships, to be specific). And of course, I have my own set of people I dehumanize because I hate what they seem to be standing for (such as, I don't know, anti-gay people, ISIS, etc etc.)
We all live our lives based on our own code of values, and on the basis of these values, we either support or antagonize those around us. I suppose the important thing about choosing to be kind is that you're doing your best to respect someone else's values instead of giving in to the temptation of touting the superiority of your own moral code over theirs. It's easier to be kind when you yourself have been on the receiving end of kindness. If, however, you've been on the receiving end of being belittled or talked down to, you'll likely feign kindness out of a sense of obligation and/or shame, or you'll lash out and make videos like "Dear Fat People"
I believe Meghan Tonjes said this in her video but I just wanted to reiterate that people often say that you have to be harsh to drive the point home but for all the people that being harsh actually worked there are countless other people that being harsh broke them down and just made them more miserable. I think being kind virtually eliminates the amount of people the video breaks down and makes feel miserable and yet can still work to encourage them to be more healthy.
Thank you, Tessa. Thank you for being vulnerable, for being loving, forgiving and for choosing to be kind. This past year I've realized what a statement this is. To be yourself -to be myself is so powerful and sometimes so difficult and this video has been so encouraging to me. So, thank you
Tessa! Thank you for this video! I am glad you are such a kind hearted individual. Don't listen to the people who are saying that kindness is naive. I have been hurt over and over by people in my life, but at the end of the day, I know I have the power to forgive and let go. I am not a doormat, I am very honest, but I deliver honesty with grace and humility. People like to be bitter and angry and hold onto the habits they have like tearing others down. There will always be people like that. But love that is shown only to loving people isn't all that exceptional, now is it? You are great. And I know you have Someone giving you the strength to keep loving. :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! For your words so pure and thoughtful and for shining your light in this world and spreading love so effortlessly through simply being you
I forgot I was subscribed to this channel lol
This is the most heartfelt and genuine expression I have seen in a very long time. Thank you.
When you cried towards the end Tessa I started to tear up as well,
I hate seeing people sad and upset,
I'm guilty of being insensitive and not thinking at times as you said we are all human but if I know I've upset someone I am devastated and want to put it right.
Thank you for being you and being awesome
A lot of the comments on this have a very "all about me" mindset, and I'm glad that there are so many people out there who have a strong sense of self. But there are more than enough people out there who aren't like you. People like young children, people with depression, or eating disorders, or who are just insecure, who WILL be affected by Nicole's video. Who will turn to starving themselves, throwing up, or extreme dieting because she is telling them that they are a problem, that they make her uncomfortable, and that they are a burden on other people. And it's hard not to believe that sometimes. People will be practically killing themselves because others want them to be skinny, and have this perverted idea that only skinny people can be healthy, only skinny people can be pretty, only skinny people can be treated as people. Your weight does not define your worth but Nicole Arbour is trying to tell people it does, and whether you personally do or not, people will believe her.
Lovely lovely.
Absolutely loved this video. I grew up being a shy kid and not having many friends and being picked on, and continued onto being in jobs where I would work my but off, but still get picked on, but I always tried to be the better person and do good for others. Today I still have some people look down on me and I might not always get credit for the work I do, but I've actually gotten into more of a career spot and am a supervisor at my job, where if I see people being picked on and people being put down, it's not just my job to stop it, but I can really make the difference in someones day, and it's just really helped me with knowing I might struggle for respect from higher ups, but when it comes down to it, my employees respect me and appreciate what I do for them.
This is so wonderful. Thanks for sharing, Tessa. Your "You are the only you....." quote has become my go to when I'm feeling blue.
Very well put!
oh man i am going through all your videos
Getting emotional now you were the first youtuber I ever watched and have been such a role model for me over the many years and I just want to say thank you for everything that you do and have done because you mean so much to me and so many others and the positivity and love from your videos really moves me and I am just so happy because of it. So thank you. Amy xxx
I cried. Thank you sooooo much! You are such a great influence!
Yes.
Also if someone responds to "Why not choose kindness?" with "Why not burn your house down?"
SEVERAL REASONS! GUYS, STOP BURNING YOUR HOUSES DOWN! WHERE YOU GON LIVE?!
its not about kindness or not. or at least it shouldnt be.
some people are just assholes and try to rip people apart to make a change. that doesn't work.
but the underlying point behind the harshness of the video brings up a valid point.
you have all these anti smoking ads that nobody takes offence to. you have ads degrading smokers. why is this acceptable? because smoking is unhealthy? well, so is being obese.
im not talking about those with actual health issues. im talking about people who have control issues and are big because they eat too much.
this body acceptance movement is doing both good and harm to this society. its helping because we shouldnt make fun of people for how they look. but ita hindering a ton of people who have adapted unhealthy habits but accept it as ok because "every body will love me anyway".
our society has accepted obesity as a healthy normal while companies still make degrading anti smoking ads that depict smokers as ugly or depressing, trying to turn people away from cigarettes.
"well whats it matter to you? theyre not harming you." neither are smokers yet...
we shouldn't give people a hard time for what they look like but if we turn a blind eye to the effects obesity has on ones health, then we're not doing any justice to ourselves as humans.
+Dwizzle Schrute Valid comparison. Some of the smoking videos are really degrading.
They show pictures of black shriveled lungs to "promote quitting"
Should we start ads with fat people opened up for surgery so you can see just how disgusting it is?
Oh that is terrible! how could you degrade people that way!?... i suppose would be the response.
Even though it is essentially the same thing.
Thanks though i hadn't even thought of that kinda comparison, and i even used to smoke so i kinda should have lol
+Dwizzle Schrute Except, this isn't a valid comparison. Gaining weight (or being heavier since childhood) isn't something you know the exact source of, it has a number of factors. You can be skinny and incredibly unhealthy.
Smoking though, you are literally putting unhealthy toxins into your body. And that does need awareness. It's to say, "Look, see this product? It will negatively affect your health. Here's what happens to people who do" while fatshaming is all about making people feel guilty for the bodies they have. Weight is so much more complex than you are making it out to be.
Also - "why does it matter to you?" Second-hand smoking is a thing...
toomuchwanderlust while you are correct the original video was never about people with medical issues or anything. Childhood obesity is complex and can result from everything from something internal (medical) or external (improper nutrition). Depending on the reason the point still sticks seeing how the original video specifically excludes medical reasons from her "rant".
Food can be just as "dangerous" as smoking. leading death in the U.S. last time i checked was heart disease. What you eat has a very direct impact to your bodily health (ex heart).
Should we not also be putting warning labels on food?
According to the American Heart Association the MAXIMUM amount of "added" sugars (not naturally occurring such as sugar in fruit) that should be taken in is 37.5 grams per man and 25 grams for women. wanna guess how much a bottle of soda has?
This bottle (20 fl oz) sitting in the trash (i'm at work) has 78g
How about this bottle of Gatorade? 21g PER 12 fl oz which this bottle is 28 fl oz so 52 g of sugar in the bottle.
how about sodium? Should we go over how we over consume sodium which has direct influence on heart disease, heart rate, etc.
Seriously sodium is in EVERYTHING.
Sounds like we are putting plenty of unhealthy "toxins" in our bodies already.
(cause anything in excess can be seen as toxic after all)
We as a society need to stop pandering to peoples "hurt" feelings. The truth is the truth.
sugar coating it won't make it go down any easier.
Now i am not saying we need to shame them.
I repeat NO SHAMING.
We however need to be honest about it. Obesity (especially extreme obesity) is unhealthy.
Yes there are medical reasons for some people to be heavy. Issues in their genetics that either make it hard to loose weight or to exercise or etc etc. There are also some medications that cause major weight gain. There are also major psychological issues that can cause issues too.
I understand that. The original video wasn't about that however. Nicole specifically said this does not apply to slightly overweight ("cushion for the pushin" as she puts it) people or people with bonafide medical conditions.
And no Obesity is not a medical "condition" It is your physical state. it is however a symptom or result of a medical condition.
+Grant Ruhoff
+Dwizzle Schrute
"Smoker-shaming" and obesity-shaming as a comparison is a false equivalence.
You can kill someone with secondhand smoke.
Secondhand eating does not exist.
Do you know why there such inflammatory (no pun intended) and graphic ads for smoking? Because the very act of smoking around others is actively damaging lives that aren't yours. It is foolish and incredibly ignorant to think otherwise. No one should be subjected to secondhand smoke, *especially* the children of smoking parents. It is terrible that such a thing would be sold as a hobby if it can so easily destroy someone's life, but it is even worse that people are so quick to dismiss the physical dangers it poses to others, other people who want nothing to do with that smoking person's smoke in the first place. There are a lot of smokers who just don't care how their smoke harms others. That's shameful. Nobody takes offense to it because people generally know that *smoking kills people, and it doesn't have to be the one behind the cigarette that gets hurt*
Nevermind that fat people are still used as a joke all the time. That some fat people don't really mind it? Good for them! But it's not anyone's place to just assume a fat person is unhealthy at first glance. They could be in the middle of slimming down. My mom's overweight, but she has better cholesterol and heart health than her doctor. She is active all the time, and the weight just doesn't drop, but you know what? She's healthier than me. She's healthier than a lot of people who weigh less than her, because being fat doesn't automatically mean that all she does is eat and lay about. And you can't just assume that of any fat person you see, either. It's been common knowledge that a lot of "obese" people currently have better heart health than people at healthy weights. And even if they don't want to slim down, whatever. That's not your business. There are plenty of sedentary thin people who are probably just as unhealthy, but no one gives them a hard time because we're too focused on seeing Thin as Healthy No Matter What and Fat as Unhealthy No Matter What. My dad was a heroin addict and got compliments on "looking so fit and thin." Heroin addict! People thought he was healthy because he was skinny and thought nothing of it!
Equating a physical state that *only affects the person who has it* to *secondhand and third-hand smoke, which is harmful to everyone who inhales it with no choice of their own* is not only an inferior argument, but a gross false equivalence.
By talking about body positivity, it's not "sugar-coating" anything for fat people, because it is literally not our business to make assumptions on people's health based on their weight. Generalizing, sweeping statements like "obesity is unhealthy" is just as inaccurate as "skinny is healthy." It doesn't help anyone.
Sherlock Homeslice Obesity is unhealthy simple as that, however on the flip side you can be too skinny too. I also have never said anyone has to be "Skinny". We need to promote healthy lifestyles and body images. We need to be positive about peoples bodies. We are not constructs we all look different. We also all suffer from body image issues because of this.
We should not be shaming people due to weight. But claiming someone is beautiful and great just the way they are when they are not just great is wrong.
People are great dynamic beings. There is so much about each person that makes them unique. Saying we should say people are great regardless of size is a joke. If you are unhealthily over weight you know it. you don't need to be told it. I certainly shouldn't say it nor do i desire to say anything about it.
However like i said we are many things. You can build up confidence through many avenues.
As for your mom congrats to her.
Curiosity how heavy is she? because this was about Obese and morbidly obese people.
Just saying overweight doesn't tell us much.
Secondly the BMI index is a joke and doesn't take alot into context. I am heavy but i know people who are much more rotund than i am and weight about the same. (example not a statement of health) So is she obese by height and weight alone? is it her actual fat ratios? I don't know she has apparently good cholesterol and overall heart Health. She probably also watches her sodium intake and alot of other things. Sounds Healthy to me. Sounds like a good example of someone to follow.
You fail to realize i am not pointing at a picture and saying don't look like this. I am saying we need healthy body images and LIFESTYLES.
The amount of sugar and sodium and everything else people take in on average is ridiculous. Things like that need changing and should receive a ton more attention than Body Positive movements. That however is just me so as my opinion is my opinion i will keep it because it is not wrong. Nothing i have said has been subjectively wrong... Minus the smoking thing. It has been awhile since i quit. I also gave a shit where my smoke went. I smoked out back and around corners. i wouldn't take drags at intersections etc etc.
I however am so over this topic, so congrats to your mom on her journey and have a great day.
You are one of the first people that I started to follow on YT (which was like more than five years ago) and you are also one of the most inspiring voices that I have in my life since then. I love your videos and they always cheer me up and make me want to be better.
You always remind that there are people out there that are good.
Take care, Tessa!
The problem is if we be kind, people will not take us seriously. Sometimes tough love is needed.
I havent seen the "Dear Fat People"-video. And I think it might be best to leave it that way.
Or is it best to watch it anyway for some reason? Because I already feel some anger building up imagining what the girl might say
Don't watch it. You are not missing out by not seeing it, and you are definitely not going to feel good in any way after seeing it.
Also watching it only gives her more views and attention that she doesn't deserve
+Griffin Schenkeveld Worth a watch, most people are over-reacting to the whole thing.
If you like controversial humour, it's quite funny.
The key is to watch it realizing it's meant to be a joke with some honest truths thrown in.
+Griffin Schenkeveld The only thing I was shocked about was how people are overreacting to the video. I am a fat person. It didn't bother me in the slightest. It wasn't particularly funny but I had no qualms with it. If I didn't like it or her opinions then I won't watch her stuff. Not that I had ever heard of her before this anyway.
+Emma Eaton It was taken down and her account was suspended. You can no longer watch on her channel to give her the views and attention. But I'm positive someone re-uploaded it on another channel, somewhere.
Is it just me or does she look a lot like Asuka Langley-Soryu?
I am so happy that there is someone out there as kind and considerate as you. It is always a mark on me every time I turn on the TV and see more and more bad in the world, people doing such selfish things that end in tragedy. It is a breath of fresh air for me to hear you talk so passionately about kindness and hope that the world can be a better place. Thank you for being a part of that hope and please don't ever stop being you. I choose kindness.
I just finished watching your video and I don't know what to say except this: Thank you, Tessa. For your words and thoughts on this. Thank you very much - especially for your final message and for sharing Meghan's words with us.
as a 'latino' I agree and I think someone should send this to Donald Trump...he needs
and the people who like him too...
\m/ mind geek \m/
Very powerful video, Tessa.
I've lost so many friends because of just being dismissed, and because they wouldn't accept me, and it hurts so much. There are days where I feel so alone, and I just want kindness. To hear someone I look up to talk about this, painful, painful topic, actually does help.
Thank you.
Awwwww, Tessa. That last part really got to me. It's good to know there are still people who are passionate about choosing kindness all the time. I really needed this! Thank you so much for sharing, you are such an inspiration.
Hi tessa! i've been apart of your channel since day 1. you've taught me so much and help me through a lot. Just know that your experience, opinion.. whatever, are more of life lessons we leave in such cruel world where everyone is judged and self conscious about themselves and the people around them. you taught me and shared that different is ok, strange is great, kindness is beautiful. so here's a thank you from not just me but many of us!
Oh Tessa. Stop striking at my heart at such a real level. Message received. Thank you.
When I first saw Arbour's video, it was actually on Facebook shared by one of my family members, and I had so many words while simultaneously having no words at all. Your video and Meghan's video managed to articulate everything I could possibly have had to say, and more. All I can say is thank you. Thank you for not being afraid to be vulnerable in the public eye. Thank you for not being afraid to say something about Arbour's video. Thank you for doing what you can to make the UA-cam community a better place.
Oh Tessa. I teared up too.
You are lovable. And amazing. And inspire people to choose kindness.
Thank you for this.
Thank you for that Tessa! Your message is beautiful! I love you so much with your content or even without! You are a beautiful kind person and choosing kindness for me is common sense. If we are all mean and mean to each other it just results in a mean unkind world. I truly hope you are ok and that you take your time before coming back to UA-cam if needed, again, thank you so much for this! I hope you remember that YOU are loved by so, so many:fans,friends,family and God our Loving Heavenly Father :) God Bless You Tessa Violet
I loved this! Thank you for encouraging people to be better and for lifting up people wherever they are- whether that be struggling with body image or anxiety or whatever it may be. I appreciate you using your platform to speak out about these things which can be so easily overlooked and discounted.
I have to say that it was more than a privilege to meet you and Rusty in Austin, Tx. Normally I tend to be introverted and prefer to have time to myself, and it's rare that I go out into a room filled with people I don't know. When I got there, I felt completely fine and I think it was because you bring likeminded people together. Thank you for being YOU with promoting positivity and love. The light that resonates from your selfless and sincere attitude dilutes the darkness that negativity brings. Again, thank you.
This came to me in one of the worst moments of my life and I'm writing this crying, you're such a lovely person, it's so good to know someone care, thank you so much for this.
Wow, well said. Love it! I usually ask my self that. And when I feel lazy about being kind (yes it takes energy to keep it up) I always remind myself "if you know better, do better" one of my many self advice which applies to so much in life.
Tessa, I absolutely adore this video. I hope more and more people try and choose kindness and make others happy rather than torn down. Thanks for using your voice and speaking out 💜
This is still one of the most powerful videos I have ever watched. Thank you so so much Tessa
I could not have said it better, Tessa. Thank you for spreading kindness. You are a force for good. I know this has and will continue to help people. Sending you love!!
This video was really powerful. Thank you for saying what you did, for giving a message we all need to hear on occasion without berating your viewer, and thank you for being honest and leaving in your tears.
What a great message... I believe we are called to choose kindness.. to empathize with others and encourage. What I sometimes struggle with myself is breaking away from apathy and acting on/remembering in the moment/knowing how to express kindness.
i come back to this video occasionally because it's just so important. it's been years since i first saw it, but i still think about it a lot
Thank you so much Tessa! it's good to see you again thank you for the wonderful message
aww u tearing up is so sweet
Very powerful. Very true. I am so glad you added your voice to the conversation.
comming back to this video after so many years.. and its still an issue. like nothing has changed, or it got even worse..
really miss those talks tessa! i always felt enriched after listening to what you had to say. thanks for those life lessons. :)
This is the most encouraging and uplifting video I have seen on here in a very long time. You presented it so well. Thank you.