The Acolyte Episode 1 Review - Expensive Bland Murder Mystery
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- The Acolyte Episode 1 Review - Expensive Bland Murder Mystery
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It’s funny how Spaceballs is more lore accurate to Star Wars than Star Wars currently is.
Got that right
Hah!! 😅
Because the people who made it loved Star Wars…unlike the people who are in charge of the franchise.
that episode costed a GODZILLA MINUS ONE
this comment makes me so sad because.............its fucking true and hurts my soul.
Headland is your typical new wave queer feminist vampire. She isn't a good person, so she is obsessed with moral relativism and debunking the notion that there is anything such as good and evil. Story concepts like the Force and the dark side having a clear moral distinction are "problematic" to people like her.
They love preaching this shit. And in her case, it makes even more sense given her job, assisting Harvy and stuff.
And Disney cut her a big check to spread the word 👍
Clear moral distinction? The Jedi and Sith are nothing but opposite extremes on the chucklefuck zealot spectrum
You're either a naive goody two shoes who kisses every ass you come across or a raging sociopath who is only interested in murder and destruction
There needs to be more nuance otherwise it just gets boring
And well all know she knew what her former boss was doing and yet she didn't get into any trouble?
You're giving her way too much credit.
They've told me they don't want or need my viewership so it's a pass from me.
Not my Star Wars I won't bother either.
I'm too busy touching grass to watch it.
Never bring a lightsaber to a knife fight...🤣
I like how in this show they claim that Osha hasn’t trained in years, so she can’t use the force to move objects. Something similar happens in Ahsoka, where Sabine couldn’t move objects, despite training, until the very end. It also happened in Kenobi. He couldn’t use the force because he hadn’t trained in years. YET, in The Last Jedi, some random stable boy could move objects with zero training!!!
I can't get over how a jedi master EASILY dies like that...
Maybe self deletion by proxy to cash the life insurance for the family.
I didnt watch but i hear she's stabbed. Sounds legit. Little poke to the heart an that is that.
Maybe jedi pool-noodle sabers were the less lethal option.
@@stevena.7022 I generally can't get over it.. it's sad the way star wars is going, very sad
Well have you seen how effective lightsabers are in Disney Star wars? The elegant weapon of the Jedi that used to slice through almost any material and take limbs and heads of with a flick of the wrist now bounces off stormtroopers like a nerf bat and you have to almost bludgeon opponents unconscious with the thing.
Finn got hit right up the spine with Kylo Ren's lightsaber and it just cut the skin, it should have filleted him like a Mackerel.
Quality of writing... Your DEI talents...
Mr. H, nobody seems to be touching on this but did you notice there are no actual locations in the show? Its a cutscene back to a set piece everytime. No wideshots of characters walking around with landscapes or outside anywhere. When a ship lands, nobody gets out and walks around, its a cutscene and were back in some shitty town. There are no real locations on this show and it looks terrible.
The sets look so tiny, they probably can't walk around. How do they spend so much on these shows and look so bad? The only good looking shows are Andor and The Mandalorian.
@@user-uy1rg8td1vmoney laundering?!
That’s hilarious.
180 million amirite
Fan Fiction implies it was made by a fan and not someone who hates the franchise and it's fandom.
So, jedi can both dodge and deflect multiple blaster bolts, but Carry Ann Moss (a jedi knight/master) can't handle like two throwing knives?
Right...
I feel nothing but pity for anyone who has to review these episodes.
Lol can’t wait for the Disparu reviews
@@artnull13and Reaper's.. 😆
These people are NOT fans!
fanning the flames yes.
They're tourists. ....
Quite the contrary. They seem to hate what it was, and love only what they can turn it into, to spite the fans and patriarchy of course. If they loved it, then why would their stuff be completely different except for basic trappings? There’s more to SW than space, mysticism and laser swords, and I don’t mean rainbow messaging.
So basically Disney remade their classic 1960s movie "the parent trap", god I'm old
It also reminds me of the ABC 90s sitcom "Sister Sister".
"I didn't enjoy it". "I thought it was crap". It's the way Mr H delivers lines like this. After I stopped laughing I knew there's no way I'm watching that shit. I'd much rather watch his 2nd review instead🤣🤣
Thanks mate, because I'm not gonna watch it! 😂
I also will not be partaking in this trash…I checked out of SW after the Lizzo episode of Mando !
Same, not watching as well.
Haven't watched any Disney SW since their first movie, which I didn't dislike back then but which seemed generic. I waited to see reviews of TLJ and was glad I skipped it. From time to time, I like classic stuff and some old video games.
Yup lol
Osha...
Great, a character named after the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.
Of course they can survive a light saber through body parts because they missed all the vital organs
Piccolo, "😡 ALL OF THEM?"
They named the main character OSHA after passing on NASA, OPEC, and NAACP.
Don't forget HIPPA
LOL!
Stab with a lightsaber: barely an inconvenience.
Stab with a pen knife: Insta death!
The Acoshyte
It's basically parent trap. Plot explained.
I love that we can now see just how much Leslye Headland "The former personal assistant to Harvey Weinstein" just understand Star Wars, The Force and the Jedi, The Jedi are peacekeepers NOT a governing body.
The reviews are literally the only thing I look forward to when it comes to disney star wars!!
The only reason why the squidgame guy seems decent in acting is that if (and when) he is/was bad, we wouldn't notice.
Two things I hated about this. The first was you can easily distract a Jedi and then stab them in the heart. The second was the Jedi read minds multiple times, yet don't read the suspected murderer's mind to see if she really did the murders!
One thing that annoyed me in the first episode when they went out into space to repair the Neimoidian ship, how the hell was there a fire in space when there is no oxygen in space?😂
Yep, called that out instantly. So dumb. This show is so dumb.
The same thing happened in Return of the Jedi when that ship kamikazed the big star destroyer
If you're an entrepreneur, this should make your blood boil. Disney took capital that should had started a tech business and threw it in the incinerator, just to build a DEI temple to immortalize Leslye Headland's feelings and vanity.
Fun fact the Knife in her chest isnt even the Heart, That blade would have been caught on a rib and hit the lung Skilled Knife and sword users know you turn the blade sideway to avoid the ribs
KK and Leslie said this is for women and if men cant accept it then dont watch it so I'll listen to them and skip it.
Grace Randolph was shilling hard for this Disney nightmare. Nothing bad and all good according to her.
It's commonly known that she's an effin ejit
I say let the mythical modern audience have their show... all 6 of them.
In the meantime, the actual fans, the paying customers will all be out touching grass.
5:47 Wait... all the people in power in the Jedi are women... and Leslie is trying to tell a story about the arrogance, hubris and incompetence of the Jedi...
What is she saying here?
She definitely didn't get the job at Disney because of her talent or looks, THAT'S for sure
I had to put bleach in my eyes after watching this episode on my pirate boat. Never. Again. SW IS Dead.
Datsun and Aliens makes a pretty slick background fella
I just watched it , I will not be watching episode 2 😂 . Bland Karens in space, girl boss cringe. Mediocre predictable story with meh acting... It was a painful experience
What in here was girl boss cringe? Literally nothing.
Thank you for your service 😂
I saw a few clips on Tik Tok. It was not good. I didn't feel like it looked expensive. I thought it looked like cosplay.
Lee Jung-Jae the Squid Games Guy.
Yeah, the lightsaber through the torso is a scratch - a 2" blade in the chest is instant death.... F this show.
"they got him a shirtless cameo, oooh there you go ladies"
I saw that guys interviews. He's gay, ladies.
The writers don't seem to grasp the concept of space and planetary motion as the basis of certain time units. "Where were you last night?" Dude, this is a SPACESHIP. Night WHERE?
the heart stab also is a wtf as they introduced "force healing" this is just lazy writing. lazier than a kindergarten writing assignment.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH first scene of the show and they killed off Carrie Ann Moss... just like you said she would die... almost like either it was totally obvious or inside information. but it was the former. But my god was this horrendous. im not one for poking fun of lazy writing but my god... How did that chick get to the crime scene before the jedi who actually live there?? But the part that made me laugh out loud the hardest is when it showed May or whatever her name is and that jedi master fighting and then the camera pans up ten feet to show that other jedi knight watching them with the binocular recorders lmao. before they showed him hiding away, like he was further up... not out in plain sight. OR when buddy who gave May the poison, looked up at the jedi, seen them look the other way, then he runs across the alley, still in total view of the jedi on the balcony, talk with May, and then the jedi turn back and around and yell HEY.... HES GONE lmao. OR the fact that I dont think there was one single white guy in the whole two episodes.... I think there might have been one in the market scene but im not sure if that was an alien or not haha the whole main character list checks each and every DEI box checklist very blatantly lmao WHAT A JOKE!!
It can't be fan fiction if nobody involved are actual fans. 🎉
You had me LOLing non-stop with your review. The Farce is indeed Female.
Osha is a HORRIBLE name choice...did they not know that it's literally the name of the U.S. administration of safety standards? Was it deliberate? Dear gawd, my eyes just rolled uncontrollably into the back of my head. What's next, FEMA...USDA?? 😵💫
Great review - you called it with Carrie-Anne's character - - I find it funny how the showrunner's wife becomes almost a main character after Indara dies
they got the gig because of the wifes name you know
That green thing was the fugliest creature I've seen in a long time. Just yikes.
God, there is no one left in Hollywood that can write a decent script/story.
OSHA was on a cargo ship? What was OSHA doing inspecting health and safety?
Making sure everyone has proper PPE and checking that their extension cords are all code compliant.
A knife needs to be at least 4" to be considered a stabbing hazard in general, which is why in the US knife blades longer than that are illegal to carry on your person in everyday life in a lot of places. Basically, by the time you get through clothing and flesh and bones a smaller blade almost always doesn't have enough length to kill.
With The Acolyte revealing who the murderer is maybe they are going the Columbo route where he pesters the main suspect the whole episode until the suspect slips up and says something to convict themselves. 🙃😂
Thank you for suffering for all our enjoyment. 😂
*_$180 MILLION FOR x8 30MINUTE EPISODES??_*
*_Why not 60mins??!_*
May failed to get her Force User Passport and Identity Card
The whole thing sounds like Disney's financiers shilling for the global digital ID system they're currently building and beta testing in war zones.
The Squid game actor was the only one who I am currently liking. I think him as a Jedi master really suits. Everything else… I have a bad feeling about this.
They lost me at naked Jedi Knight wtf 😳
I'm not at all interested in the Acolyte, I'm just here to leave a comment and a like Mr H.
Mr. H you call Carrie Ann Moss’s death. 👏
Just love shows and movies where the audience knows more than the characters and we have to wait around for the show to keep moving forward 🤦♂️
😂 you're mere tone was the tip off that the verbal blow torch was incoming
Thank you for your service to watch this unwatchable tv show that has nothing to do with Star Wars
Star war rest in peace 1977-2024.
Liked:
Carrie Anne Moss
Master Sol and a few others.
Set pieces, transitions etc
Dislike:
The score was terrible
Endings felt rushed
Story is weak
Dialogue is weak
Definitely felt like a first timer fan film with a massive budget lol
Your dislikes are the things that most matter in a show 😂
@@webstersempire exactly the point. The bar seems to be so low with those who love Disney Star Wars
I know Star Wars physics doesn't really apply, but a fire outside a ship in outer space? Come on!!
I heard the real $hit hits the fan episode 3 and beyond…
Trade federation ship doesn't have a single mech droid to do repairs. Nubian starship has like 4
Dude I feel for you putting yourself through that. Thanks for doing it. My God, what qualifies a messed up lesbian and ex Harvey Weinstein;s personal secretary qualified to make a Starwars TV series?
This show cost about 1 million dollars per minute of show
So... Having an Asian accent is racist?
Rrrrriiiight.
There's been a muuuurder in Savannah...
Jedi DID do their best to keep track of force sensitives.
I don’t understand, did Mr H draw the short straw? Poor bastard.
I’m touching grass and I’m glad that I do, because this sounds like utter garbage.
It can't be fan fiction, because you can tell the people who wrote this aren't fans. They know nothing about the Star Wars universe. Expensive rip-off of Agatha Christie, maybe.
I thought the actors were all okay except for Headland's scissor partner.
The question now is which is worse, the accolyte or rebel moon. Both are essentially fanfics made by hacks looking to cash in on star wars nostalgia that were made for streaming
So she brought a knife to a lightsaber fight and won? What does that tell you about both, Carrie's character and Disney's Leslie Headland's writing?
Whats the odds the Acolyte guy in the helmet, actually ends up being a 'strong woman' when the mask comes off?
Thanks for watching it so I don’t have to. Wake me up when Andor is back.
They probably butcher it,too. Didn't watch it so far because of that fear (I'm too poor for a streaming service anyways)
@@napoleonfeanor That and to many shows that actually do start out good in their first season? Well its a trick because by season to here comes all the DEI/woke bs.
Not going to mention the weird and dumbass way she just... Walks up to the Jedi and tells her to attack her... How stupid is that?
I am curious what fighting style people do want in Star Wars? A more western, Knight-style fighting? I don't mind the kung-fu style of fighting.
But I just want them to look like they've been training in how to fight, not how to swing a bat.
But I've hear many people who dislike the kung-fu style.
So...what is the preference?
Sounds like the show is off to a roaring start. Roaring...like laughter.
Mae is about as tall as a cereal box......and you didn't know her??
Star wars has been on its deathbed since the first reylo movie. The last good thing they did was rogue 1
The acolyte is not Star Wars
I knew this show was going to be so bad… but Jesus Christ this is utterly horrendous!! What utter woke Disney garbage!!
So all this time all you really needed to defeat a jedi was a knife.
Not sure I can watch episode 2. It's got nothing gripping in first episode and the characters are a bit bland. Worst part imo is when the jedi trainer dude doesnt even mention shes a twin at any stage when clearly that information would be relevant. Thanks for the review!
This show makes no sense.
DEI jedi that brings in his star witness along to put him in the same room as the supposed killer arrests the criminal, puts her on a prisoner transport despite no conviction and then flys to the same planet she is being transported to.
Then, after the prisoners escape and the ship crashes, in the time it takes for the main character to wake up from the crash, the prisoners have been tracked down, recaptured, and transported to coursaunt.
Was the capital a two minute drive from the crash? Was the old republic government so fast they can literally put criminals in jail before they catch them?
There was a period of time when i first heard about the acolyte i did not know it was star wars, just whenever it was mentioned i did not here star wars mentioned just it was a show someone was trying to get made was only more recently star wars was mentioned
"hated 1st episode .... off to watch 2nd now " .... like taking a bullet for his fans
I’ve been so hyped for this show….so I could hear all my fave tubers trash it to hell! I’m glad it’s sh**. Leslie Headland is a horrible person and doesn’t deserve a win.
Bad anatomy lmao the heart is in the back as well..
Show is fantastic except for the story, actors, look particularly subpar aliens, plot twists…
I had to watch this twice because as Mr. H recapped the show I got distracted thinking of a way cooler Acolyte story. That’s my b. ❤
The first sentences spoken made me laugh/cringe. What dirt does Headland have from her Weinstein days that warrants giving her 180 million to spend on destroying a billion dollar franchise?
It’s unfortunate you have to put yourself through this crap so others don’t have too, but I respect you for the torture you endured in doing so.
Disney, give me a couple of hundred million dollars to make a star wars property. I can't do any worse than what you're currently putting out
Lol cheers, not gonna watch it 😆
You are normally spot on with these reviews IMHO, I will watch the first one out of curiosity as to how bad it is.
RACISM comes in all shapes and sizes
Plot twist Kary Ann moss is a sith and shows up later. Lol
That would at least be interesting!