Dating with Purpose! Laterras R. Whitfield
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- Laterras R. Whitfield, host of Dear Future Wifey, believes in dating multiple people to find the right match, but Chanel is sticking to her one-at-a-time approach. Can he change her mind? It’s a lively debate on whether dating multiple people really works! Plus, Josh and Laterras dive into a hot topic: Some women think being great in the bedroom is enough, but is what they see as "high octane" just regular? This episode is full of real talk, deep insights, and plenty of laughs.
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Opposing experiences, a single woman and a married man, Chanel Scott, and Josh Powell, create a powerful and empathetic team, offering valuable insights and advice on navigating the complexities of romantic relationships and promoting healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Join Chanel and Josh as they unlock the secrets of successful relationships one conversation at a time.
If a guy says he is dating multiple people, I would tell him no thank you. Men know what they want and they will play games.
Exactly, if a man is still dati ng multiple along with you he isnt intentional and this is not hunger games...
To add context most women act like. he's supposed to know day 1 😊😊😊😊...that's NOT realistic
@Nehemiah-ek5fk You dont have to know from day one but let's be realistic even if you had a roster before meeting someone. It's safe to say there is your top pick or none at all. The point is if you're truly dating intentionally, you can weed people out quickly, and it doesn't take stringing people along for months
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
@@Nehemiah-ek5fk Rarely does a love at first sight thing happen 😂… so give it a few dates or few months …
Wow! Brother Laterras, I so appreciate how you explained your new birth single, abstinence journey. Your responses are so real, genuine totally Christ led. Please don't change! May the Lord continue to lead and keep guiding you.
When he tells you who he is believe him. Women have the right to set their own boundaries. Set them.
If a person's values/intent doesn't match mine, it's a great indicator for setting the perimeter of the relationship.
What is time worth?
Knowing and loving myself is attractive but my choices can depreciate and undermine my relationships.
Great discussions.
Josh & Laterras transparency is GOLDEN!! I believe more women need to HEAR what they are really saying.
I appreciate their rhetoric, humor and honesty 💗💗
Thank you for joining the conversation.
She just doesn't get it.
She refuses to let go of her fairytale expectations and accept her real life experiences, lessons, & others advice. Her fear of being hurt AGAIN is keeping her sick. Prayers are with her.
Yes I agree and she needs to be validated too often that’s why she likes the one at time method which has gotten her where she is. I pray that she builds her confidence to know she is that girl on every date and if he doesn’t see it, then he’s not the one.
She’s being honest and speaking her truth! Keep living in your truth! A lot of people feel the same way but are afraid to voice it! I understand her! I am her!
I’m a firm believer that it doesn’t take long to know if you want to be with someone. If you’ve been dating multiple women for weeks at a time, then you’re just playing games. I was married for 20 years and divorced for 2, I truly don’t have time for games at this age (55)
Wow this opened my eyes on how I should be dating. Not getting my emotions involved until exclusively is introduced.
I commend the men for sincerely trying to engage in the conversation about all of her preferences. This was good because so many women feel the way she does.
very good conversation, i don't think she quite understood it though.
Josh is straight talk no chaser. Thank you all for this conversation.
Thank you for watching the show!
I like this if the wrong person doesn't choose you, that is the right thing
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
Having a small mind, will cause a person or persons, to miss out on big things. Operating in ignorance will keep you single. You define the outcome with the way you think and your actions. When you are operating in a healthy and healed manner, you truly process differently than you do when you’re not. Prioritize the things that are really important to you and keep a standard…make sure it’s more than surface level.
At my age of 48, I feel Chanel. It’s one man at a time for me. How can you possibly get to know someone if you have options or when your attention is divided??
I feel like dating multiple people at once delays you from getting to know a person. It’s game play in my opinion.
My thoughts are move on quickly (and make yourself available for the next) if/when you conclude that one person isn’t for you.
These are just my thoughts.
Love the Josh/Laterras dynamic. I hope we see that again!
Thank you for joining the conversation.
This was a great episode. I love how the fellas were transparent. It's refreshing to know that there are men who are practicing self control out of respect for God, themselves and their future wifey!
Thank you for joining the conversation.
Dear future wifey guy.. You don't want to help the relationship.
You just want a woman that's to take you for who you are.
It's hard to find good friends that are pure and genuine
I think if people really looked at the CONSEQUENCES, there decisions would be totally different.
I feel her & agree with her. Not everyone is designed for casual sex. Know yourself
I agree because I am one who is not designed for casual sex.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Nobody was designed for casual sex if we're getting critical, lol, but yes, to each their own. 💯
@@zaydwill I'm so glad you as a man stated this.
The dating, thing it always has been a issue for me as a woman. I had never understood the reason here in America… but know I do, I’m still iffy… about it. But understand it better now. The two gentlemen has blessed me with knowledge TODAY!! Josh! You really had made me more conscious about the phases the man does go through, thank you, thank you both for so much enlightenment, understanding males in their 40’s when they are walking with purpose and with God in this times. Bless you all!
7:52 You’re not wrong at all for wanting to focus on one person at a time. As a MH Therapist, who studies the human brain, our brains are producing different chemicals, feelings, thoughts, etc. when dealing with one person versus multiple.
I can’t date multiple people. I’ve been single and celibate in double digits. Men play too many games. The last guy who tried to talk to me was married, multiple baby mamas and tried to act single. Such a liar. Trying to save me for later, please. I wasn’t even interested when he knew that I wasn’t going to sleep with him and be a side piece. He tried to act like he ended it first. Ended what? I saw you one time, we hung out once and we weren’t exclusive. I haven’t seen this guy in years since we lived in the same neighborhood 🤦🏽♀️
@ I’m so sorry you experienced that egregious type of person; people like this are disgraceful. You did n to deserve that, and I am so happy to hear you set your boundaries and didn’t really engage with him. I’m praying for you and a phenomenal spouse for you!
It's a preference to date one person at a time but I don't ever hold who I'm dating to that. I understand the terms and we are not exclusive. Communication is Key. Don't create relationships in your head and that other person hasn't said anything close to that. Seems like your are addicted to suffering. Unnecessary suffering. It's ok to be disappointed if things didn't work out. Move on get back out there.
She puts her own standards on other people
Well said...don't micromanage someone else actions. That's mature
@@feliciawalker9771 Totally understand that, definitely don’t ever put your expectations onto someone else without openly, transparently discussing and understanding an agreement.
I'm 60 and I get mistaken for late 30 early 40. Nothing wrong with seniors
I have dated multiple people and told everyone this is what I was doing.. let the best man win.. and since then I’ve been married for over 20 years because I didn’t subject myself to date one person..
Agree with this whole heartedly. Exactly my perspective. This requires maturity, experience in relationships, honest communication, and friendship first, that way if in the end the expectations weren’t met and or your personas didn’t compliment one another there’s no love lost and or animosity towards one another. It’s a reflection on your self love and confidence within. That’s why it’s important that you take your time when healing from previous past experiences that may have caused trauma confusion and conflicts.
I said the same thing. A few points I disagreed with. But folks don’t want to take accountability for themselves woman and men alike. I agree with this
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
When I tell you who they are... believe them.
This conversation was so superficial AND so honest and raw and real and investigative and soulful. I had fun watching this episode. Really engaging! THANK YOU SO MUCH! 😅❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thx for making this. This is the most candid conversation regarding relationships that I’ve ever heard Christians have. It’s needed.
She is on an emotional roller coaster 😮😢😅😊😂😂
She's exhausting!!! Laterras, you tried!!! I honestly believe you could have spent your time and energy on a different, more beneficial platform.
I agree I saw her on Dear Wifey podcast and I was at a loss for words. You have to go watch that episode.
Dating multiple people becomes a problem if you are having sex with one of them. Dating is the world concept, it's no where in the Bible. Courtship means you found the one
She is looking for everyone to agree with her - meanwhile NOT LISTENING to what the MEN are actually trying to tell her. It was bizarre
Everyone is entitled to an opinion!
RIGHT!!!!
No, that’s the part where even another level of maturity comes in because now you understanding what it truly is or what you want in a relationship or your purpose partner, but it takes God to make you grow into that space like we try to go out here and act like we don’t you know I really need him in that sense but he made us he made us like we are so you don’t think that he knows that we we are still prone to intimacy that he knows the touch but when you talk And you can get that mind locked in between two people and they begin to talk and create oh my God to me is the best kind of love so you know I definitely totally agree with both men and you guys are amazing men of God and I couldn’t ask for more transparency and in this video you all were amazing For the young lady who is being a mouthpiece for the women. I respect you I don’t care what nobody say. In the comments we need women to be more transparent, and being honest on how they feel we’re not talking about ratchet, you know, but transparency is learning how to communicate with the intellect. The vocabulary as needed is very important and so I really appreciate you for speaking for the women on the way behalf. I have taken so much from this video and I will definitely be joining this podcast because of the fact that you know it matters, it matters as 2025. I’m expecting it to be a different year. My portion is not to be in lack in any area, but to be successful in every area and so I know that the plan that God has for me it does Include my obedience and my commitment to him first so you guys stay the way you are continue to grow respectfully
Thank you all for your brutal honesty and vulnerability. Keep it real! 😊
Thank you for watching the show!
Chanel, I pray God opens your eyes to the roadblocks you’re putting in the way of your future mate finding you…🥰🤗😘!
It seems to me that she will still be single when she turns 51. When that happens, her age range will change again... Then, she won't date anyone over 52. Lol. She's not getting it
Laterras is really gifted. He is such a great narrator.
I think there is just a vinegar and oil situation when it comes to certain people and their views on dating. Women who think like Chanel and I don’t agree with the roster or options aspect. If you as a man are celibate and have asked God to send you your wife why would you have a roster ? He did not tell you to go date 12 women and then get a starting 5 and then crown the MVP. That’s a worldly action. If you are courting one ☝🏽 woman for marriage then there is no roster. Where the problem comes in at is generally the men we are physically attracted to and he checks off all the other boxes aren’t in alignment with our view of not dating multiple ppl at one time. This is why you hear us say we would rather not be in the dating streets and continue to walk in purpose.
Latteras you are ridiculously gifted at what you do 👏🏾👏🏾
Josh GOTS to be from ATL / The Deck 😂 Laterras is such a natural leader he done became cohost 😂 Blessings to all of the hosts!
Just note that this is carnality, not spirituality. Believers are intentionally dating and not engaging in sexual intimacy. Laterras strikes again 🙏🏽
I’ve been practicing abstinence for years and have been out the loop for a while so this is an interesting and necessary conversation. ❤
Stop! The Madness. This is having your cake, ice cream and a sparkling candle. We must change the narrative. Come on LaTerras.
Thank you for joining the conversation.
Madness it is!
💯💯💯
If that is what you want why not be honest.
@@faithwalkwithpurposemadness that so many keep hidden. This is where the deception comes from. So worried about judgement we don’t live in our truth we sneak in our truth
Josh said, "So do you think some wood would change that 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I love it 😂😂😂😂love the transparency!!!
That was hilarious. It’s his laid back approach that makes it even funnier 😂😂😂😂😂😂
lol yes 😂
I absolutely LOVED this conversation and all conversations like it, regarding dating relationships that are being discussed by intelligent, informed men and women. I guess because I've been a loner for most of my adult life (not so much by choice, it's just worked out that way). I haven't dated in YEARS, and have never had a trustworthy friend or couldn't afford a professional relationship counselor who II've been able to have conversations like this with.
In other words, every since I tapped into the Dear Future Wifey Podcasts aout three years sgo, it's been like free relationship therapy for me and I've learned SO MUCH I really didn't know about men and how THEY think. This is why whenever I'm scrolling videos on youtube, and see a Dear Future Wifey Podcast, I either watch it right away or save it to watch later. Again, because I so appreciate Laterras' input and transparency ftom a BLACK MAN'S perspective, if I see him on a video where he's being interviewed, I immediately save the video because I know the conversation is going to educate and enlighten me about men and relationships in some way. So conversations like this have really answered a lot of questions I've had but had NO informed, in-the-know individual in my life to ask those questions. And I KNOW there are SO many other people being helped by these relationship Podcasts....👍👍👍
Thank you so much. Your comment means the world to me
Child I can't date more then one person at a time, I'll be mixing up their kids names, amount of siblings, their parents names, where they live and all 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
True
😂
A part of me might try. It will be like people in the pods. I'm showing up with a notebook. Taking notes lol
You're not the only one and I'm trying to figure it out
😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
I don’t care what these men say. Im not dating no man that is seeing multiple women , he could fall for me and several other women , and when you fall for somebody you let your guards down , so multiple people can get it😅 I don’t think so I’m not setting myself up for that , boy bye ain’t nobody desperate , single is looking so peaceful these days
I agree LaTerras!! Healthy boundaries, and that’s the problem people be in relationships with a person that’s not in a relationship with them… We are single until marriage‼️‼️
Just Watched This
I Really Enjoyed The Realness.
Her dialogue is little hard to follow at times.
Ya'll are very interesting young people! I'm in my 60's and have been married for 38 years but we've actually been together for 48 years. Since we started so young I didn't experience what you all discuss. While, I was faithful for the most part, I'm sure my boyfriend/fiancé/husband was not! We raised 2 beautiful children and we get along just fine. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship but there are good relationships and I feel like that's what we have! ❤
People always want someone else to responsibility for how they feel. The fact is if you set your boundaries and enforce them, this is what protects your feelings
Girl please OG’s are the best
Really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you 🙏🏾
It has been said that women date to be attached and men date SEEKING attachment. We have to learn how to date the same way. You are not going to be attracted to or attached to everyone you go out with or at least you shouldn’t and if you are that’s a problem!!!! If you do date in a healthy way (honoring boundaries, refraining from sexual intimacy, understanding what YOUR CORE VALUES ARE, and not trying to fit in just because you want to be attached to someone), this is the way it’s supposed to be done!!!! The problem comes in when we have no self awareness, because even if you felt you made the right choice and it turns out you didn’t…YOU still have to make the choice to get out the pool you say got the filth in it!
Depends on where the commitment is
What are the future plans ?
How do you determine the purity of their intentions?
How do you trust your heart with anyone?
What’s real vs fake
How are you suppose to let your guard down ?
When you don’t want to sleep around with just anyone when intellectual minded is what you’re intrigued by first
This was amazing! You guys did a really good job of shifting the perspectives. I’m a single woman and this helped me. Thanks so much.❤❤❤❤❤❤
I can date more than one person however I feel inappropriate if I sleep with more than one and that doesn't seem to work well anymore because I get attached. This is bringing clarity to how I should communicate
Josh and Laterras need their own podcast together. I like to hear the honest perspectives from black men. We might like to hear the honest opinions and truth. But sometimes it is needed for growth.
The key to a healthy relationship is listening.
New subscriber here. Much love Laterras.
55, 60 is great as long as the person takes great care of themselves! 70 is fine too! I’m around a lot of vibrant, healthy, older people…it’s called ACTIVE living!
There is no way that people who date this way… men or women, have not found a potential mate who they can focus on solely…the matter is there are multiple people who will be a potential, and always someone who is funnier, more attractive, more this or that…continuing to date multiple people in this way is playing a game…because you are projecting this idea of being marriage minded and healthy and honest, so of course some men and women will be attracted to this, all the while it is an empty intention, empty connection because at the end of the day commitment is the matter of a decision when you have viable options…prolonging choosing when you have potential at your fingertips is about gratification of the ego, and lust…it does not take all day long to recognize sunshine…and making a decision out of endless options takes maturity, vision, and the Holy Spirit. that does not take years of dating multiple people well into your fifties and sixties… we have to take a risk and make a decision to commit to a person without sex…speaking to myself as well
The lady is right! Its game, its player, it's getting people hurt and jaded and is ultimately creating more women that the men claim they dont want.
This roster dating is pushing women into masculine compartmentalization and pushing down her feelings to conform to what men want: the attention, sex and adoration of multiple women. While denying women of what they want safety, emotional security, and commitment.
Men know quickly if they actually like or want a relationship with a woman it dosent take 6mths, it dosent take dating 10 at once etc. They KNOW the rest are placeholders, and time wasters.
Women inevitably get hurt in this situation and most will rarely put up with this knowingly from women.
💯
Proud to hear you sound determined to honor God with your abstinence. I'm praying for your strength and believe you will be successful in your journey this time. I believe God will bless you for your obedience and sacrifice. I have seen your growth since I've been watching your podcast and guest appearances on other podcast. Continue to trust God, He will not fail you🙏🏿
How can you expect someone to immediately have intentions specifically for YOU when he doesn’t know you?! His intention is to find his wife, you may not be HER.
From what I’ve observed about Laterras on the DFW Podcast and in other interviews, I find him to be VERY CARNALLY minded. Ijs, game Recognize game 👀 And during THIS interview, I found BOTH Josh and Laterras to be acting extremely SOPHOMORIC when discussing Women’s genitalia 🙄
Love His viewpoints I totally agree 👍
Laterras is out here playing with these women. There's no intentionality in his dating, and I see why he keeps "stumbling" 😮
Thank you for this!
Come on yall. Anything written in the Bible is what we are supposed to stand on. Not engaging in pre marital sex included. We can acknowledge that we are of the flesh & can have urges, we may even fall short.. but as believers, we should be able to acknowledge that we should not be having sex before marriage. Being unsure or try to validate pre marital sex is wrong. We need to do better, yes we are human and can make mistakes but we all need to stand on what is right & wrong based on the good book. There are no benefits to pre marital sex, it just satisfies the flesh. If we can have faith in God to do so many things for us, we should have faith that in obedience with God, we will be with a viable match. Viable in all aspects, emotional, financial, SEXUAL… we need to do better as the body.
Love this podcast❤
Chanel needs to stay by herself. She has unrealistic expectations which will keep her single. From listening to her she sounds, insecure, and as if she has unhealed trauma. She needs counseling. I enjoyed listening to Josh and Laterras. Thanks for the helpful information.
Fellas, watch your diet and stay active. Stay dangerous, lol. Stay ten toes until your person comes. When you know, you know. Build yourself up until then. 💪🏽
I need to go over to his podcast. Im all about healthy dating interactions & experiences
I’m with her, I want to KNOW I was chosen. So many men play in your face and you almost never know. We went 3 years strong and then boom. He must have met someone else the wanted to experience and things changed but he doesn’t want me to leave him alone.
He hitting all the pertinent points. Ding ding
We only dating. Why are we intimate already?!
Lol no thank you!!!! A man know if he want you or not from the start... No date me and me only or bye bye
6 months courtship before marriage is not long enough to know that you're compatible with the person.
I like Josh calmness, I get why a women can be confused 😂
Some young guys seek out older women and not because they look young.
Very interesting conversation
Thanks for watching the show!
I understand perfectly what she is saying and I was explaining the same thing to my coworkers.
I see why he's still single. He ain't ready for real.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼50mins...!!!!
It is hilarious to watch this - I love the male co host ❤ super funny guy
No Laterras so what is the difference between friendship and dating. Dating is done only when you identify somebody you find to be a possible suitor. You don't date her and date others. Others mean friendship stage.
He said " you're the best one for the job" Lord have mercy....
Great conversation, Yall! Dayum(excuse my french) dating & relationships have changed but Love & respect has not....I expect to love a guy where he's at & respect each other's boundaries then test the Spirit by the Spirit through conversations. Discern where God is directing me in the relationship-I have 2 choices stay or go. My Daddy gave me the best advice: PRAY to God for your spouse, he did & married my Mom after 6 months.
Blessings & Happy Dating❤
She sounds kinda silly. I understand her concern regarding sexual dysfunction, but I have friends in their mid to late thirties and guys their age are having dysfunction problems. Age is not always the best predictor of healthy sexual function.
Why are they forcing her to be open to older men? Men love young and youthful and so do women. She wants what she wants. Period!
He sound like he haven't had many experiences with women. Multiple women for months is exhausting. Just find one good one
There is NOOOO way a MAN said she looks like she's in her 30s
only 2 reasons, they see her social media first with all the filters or they running game: “baby you definitely the freshest and sweetest cupcake i see!” knowing darn well it definitely look like it’s been returned a few times
Does the Holy Spirit convict those who practice sexual sin while professing to be a servant of God? I’m so confused. Yes discipline is necessary however, some of you Christians act like practicing abstinence is a choice for a believer when in actuality it is commanded. We can’t pick and choose which sins have loop holes.
Besetting sins, few churchtians get convicted. This is what is destroying the body of Christ, families, communities & society
I’m withchu when you’re right Chanel 😂😂😂…
I can't date more than one person. However, I believe I should try it out. Tired being stuck in a box.
You feel that way for a reason , you are not stuck in a box , you have a certain standard and you should stand on what you believe , these people talking about dating multiple people at the same time , how is that working out for them , is anyone engaged to be married yet ? just because someone can do something doesn’t make it right ,
She literally said I’d rather have average than amazing because she lacks confidence. She keeps bringing up scenarios that she shouldn’t even be worried about. That’s the evidence of low self esteem
It’s been a while since I’ve been in the dating pool, and honestly I don’t currently own a swimsuit- by the looks of dating in 2024, it still feels like winter. So I’m just going to observe for a minute. 👀
“”It was cool until it wasn’t cool” that’s real. Manage your expectations ladies. If you can’t handle the pool, stay on dry land!
It’s the come back for me.. 😂
Geeeesssshh, this started out kind of rough…. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
That's the right mindset, men must find value in their bodies and things will change
I think it's hard to be obedient l really should try to relax if l can l do have little bit anxiety
Wow. Very educational
I don’t believe in dating multiple people either however, I do believe in vetting several people and then choosing that one person to date.
Love the conversation guys! Grown people business!