I Can't Escape From Tarkov

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  • Опубліковано 4 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 804

  • @AquaFPS
    @AquaFPS 5 років тому +5024

    i worked so hard to get my junkbox... watching you buy one and delete it really destroyed my self esteem.

    • @auto--
      @auto-- 5 років тому +289

      You can’t destroy what never existed

    • @nathanparks4194
      @nathanparks4194 5 років тому +97

      AquaFPS ngl hes flexin too hard for you, nerd

    • @sliceofham3737
      @sliceofham3737 5 років тому +15

      Alright

    • @stdshurt7972
      @stdshurt7972 5 років тому +21

      It's ok just go play some rust it will make everything worse buddy...

    • @rickwad842
      @rickwad842 5 років тому +6

      What self esteem

  • @edguillotine7704
    @edguillotine7704 5 років тому +1162

    >"give me the gun"
    No
    >barrel to mouth
    >"I'm taking the gun
    >gets gun
    *Art of the Deal*

  • @brybones7806
    @brybones7806 5 років тому +729

    The absolute destruction and pain in your voice after you discarded that scav box was that of a broken man.

  • @throwaway.mp4931
    @throwaway.mp4931 5 років тому +213

    8:15 really did something to my brain

  • @psychopunk8817
    @psychopunk8817 5 років тому +1082

    Good'ol Sam out here dressing like a classy russian gopnik.

    • @evgenyreshetnikov3483
      @evgenyreshetnikov3483 5 років тому +12

      "I am walking out with that shotgun" - Yeah, sounds about right.

    • @loveshork77
      @loveshork77 5 років тому +6

      yaa gopnik here and i approve sam's adidas suit

    • @angsern8455
      @angsern8455 5 років тому

      On vacation

    • @psychopunk8817
      @psychopunk8817 5 років тому +1

      @sa oef Yeah I know it's a oxymoron

  • @marcusbeattie6086
    @marcusbeattie6086 5 років тому +712

    I just can't imagine this man as a father.

    • @ThatGuy-zu8hm
      @ThatGuy-zu8hm 5 років тому +10

      Imagine*

    • @dudeman7738
      @dudeman7738 5 років тому +75

      It give me hope to me and all man babys all over the world that we can one day trick a women of our own into holding thy seed.

    • @tachanka1283
      @tachanka1283 5 років тому +23

      With that logic I can’t imagine the past 20 years generations being parents, we laugh at the letter 🅱️ for comedic pleasure

    • @marcusbeattie6086
      @marcusbeattie6086 5 років тому

      @@tachanka1283 true

    • @oneshotrobb7272
      @oneshotrobb7272 4 роки тому

      @@tachanka1283 we?

  • @sadtoast6122
    @sadtoast6122 5 років тому +334

    Mayonnaise?
    Aww yes Slav pudding

  • @thiefpolska
    @thiefpolska 5 років тому +1897

    You could've called this video "I can't Escape From Tarkov". What a waste

  • @bertvsrob
    @bertvsrob 5 років тому +98

    "I hit him at least twice with the hatchet - EVERYBODY WAS GETTING A TASTE!" - World Eater Legionary

  • @JoaoLucas-se7vz
    @JoaoLucas-se7vz 5 років тому +949

    Sam spent 1 million just to flex and it clashed with his inner jew.

    • @GeneralSam
      @GeneralSam  5 років тому +437

      It did kinda hurt

    • @Fabianwew
      @Fabianwew 5 років тому +8

      How much was that worth. Did he pay real money for the currency or is it all gained by gameplay.

    • @gunship0995
      @gunship0995 5 років тому +32

      @@Fabianwew gameplay. But 1 Million roubles is hard to grind.

    • @dudeman7738
      @dudeman7738 5 років тому +44

      @@Fabianwew Yeah he spent a real million dollars and discarded it.

    • @Fabianwew
      @Fabianwew 5 років тому +11

      @@dudeman7738 Not what I meant you fool. I was wondering if it was bought like shark cards I GTA.

  • @toob46
    @toob46 5 років тому +48

    9:39 when Sam yelled I got flashbacks to that Minecraft video when Steve yelled at somebody to get out of his house.

  • @lionlike5856
    @lionlike5856 5 років тому +251

    Sam to Abby Shapiro: eat the whole mayonnaise.

    • @caesarvalorvmsheevpalpatin8755
      @caesarvalorvmsheevpalpatin8755 5 років тому +16

      I'd love to give my mayonnaise to abby shapiro

    • @____-ju6mx
      @____-ju6mx 5 років тому +1

      i still cannot believe that out of all people ben shapiro has a really hot sister who also happens to have a fuckton of leaked nude #blessed

    • @AirsoftJunkie
      @AirsoftJunkie 5 років тому +1

      @@____-ju6mx UMass Rachel isn't Abby.

    • @ironduke5058
      @ironduke5058 5 років тому

      @@____-ju6mx Damn you gotta hand out the sauce,you can't just leave the boys hanging like that.
      At least give her name

    • @____-ju6mx
      @____-ju6mx 5 років тому +2

      Iron Duke it’s abigail shapiro and you literally find the nudes on google images
      www.google.com/search?q=abby+shapiro+nudes&client=firefox-b-m&prmd=inv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiMlZrG___lAhWcwcQBHdcmDKAQ_AUoAXoECAwQAQ&biw=375&bih=545 enjoy my nigga

  • @crayonchomper1180
    @crayonchomper1180 5 років тому +34

    there is literally a "GG EZ" scav voice line and I find that hillarious

  • @nylonprotest7745
    @nylonprotest7745 5 років тому +46

    I love how every UA-camr is suddenly going "look, I know Nord VPN got hacked" really tickles me pink

    • @UncleTwoTimez
      @UncleTwoTimez 5 років тому +5

      Would you prefer they pretended it didn't happen?

    • @nylonprotest7745
      @nylonprotest7745 5 років тому +17

      @@UncleTwoTimez no the joke is it's super obvious it's part of the talking points that nord gives them for their sponsorship

    • @knight1706
      @knight1706 4 роки тому +4

      You clearly didn’t watch more than 2 seconds into the segment you cancer patient

    • @nylonprotest7745
      @nylonprotest7745 4 роки тому +7

      @@knight1706 What???

  • @rickwad842
    @rickwad842 5 років тому +57

    Honestly thought this was Aqua when i first clicked. Pleasantly surprised

  • @champo976
    @champo976 4 роки тому +10

    "Nah man I dont need a 'elmet I can just cup me hands over muy head" such an underrated line

  • @THElegoBUILDER5825
    @THElegoBUILDER5825 5 років тому +80

    Tarkov: One of the many reasons my wife left me, a book by General Sam

  • @payupright
    @payupright 5 років тому +3

    Sam is one of the only people on UA-camrs that makes his ads entertaining an entertaining segment of the video. Thank you sir.

  • @wyattbender6512
    @wyattbender6512 5 років тому +115

    Last time I came this early I had to pay Steve's mom double

  • @alegit123456
    @alegit123456 3 роки тому +5

    “Nord doesn’t retain your information.”
    “Here’s this NordPass that retains your passwords.”

  • @Overlord99762
    @Overlord99762 5 років тому +12

    1:23 I didn't know I was watching Life of Boris

  • @Zombie-tf3xj
    @Zombie-tf3xj 5 років тому +42

    I like that Jippy released new music

    • @GeneralSam
      @GeneralSam  5 років тому +29

      Yeah he holds onto it for a while and makes BIG DUMP

    • @Zombie-tf3xj
      @Zombie-tf3xj 5 років тому +1

      Shits lit af

  • @TastyTacoN1nja
    @TastyTacoN1nja 5 років тому +48

    2:47 did Sam just look at his youtube demographics and pander to us?

  • @PinkertonRP
    @PinkertonRP 5 років тому +1

    Crackers and Mayonnaise, another exotic gamer dish. . . right beside two microwaved hot dogs with a squirt of ketchup and no bun.

  • @mccmitchel8476
    @mccmitchel8476 5 років тому +4

    "They don't retain any information" "It saves all your passwords for you"

  • @mrlbow
    @mrlbow 5 років тому +6

    "I'm walking out of here with that shotgun. That's whats going to happen. I'm trying to make it so you're alive" Chad gamer move

  • @montablanc1
    @montablanc1 5 років тому +2

    @ 1:19
    We told Tachanka to eat an entire jar of mayonnaise and he actually did it!
    The absolute mad lad!!!

  • @darkbro111
    @darkbro111 5 років тому +4

    "That was a mil!"
    My Brain: "Runescape drop party in 5 minutes"

  • @alonelyowl4
    @alonelyowl4 5 років тому +2

    I'm 10:38 seconds into the video and my break ended so now I'm taking a shit on the clock just so I can finish watching this video

  • @BasedGhostman
    @BasedGhostman 5 років тому +1

    Sam and aqua actually good at a video game?
    This is some nelson mandela alternate dimension shit

  • @jms4990
    @jms4990 5 років тому +3

    Whenever the "Howdy Partner" bit pops up in your videos, I instantly like.

  • @Its_LumberJack
    @Its_LumberJack 3 роки тому +1

    "I'm walking out of here with that shotgun"
    *Immediately throws gun down😂

  • @loueppi
    @loueppi 3 роки тому

    This dude is one of the few ppl i watch the in video ad for, he finds a way to make it entertaining.

  • @Tobias5036
    @Tobias5036 5 років тому

    I think you just delivered the first sponsor spot that i didn't skip through.......Nord!! Give this man a raise!

  • @damonvi013
    @damonvi013 5 років тому +1

    you know what's sad. these vids are great. i love them. i laugh my ass off at them. but when they end, a feeling washes over me, and i think to myself "it wasnt enough. it felt so short. i need MORE"

  • @tommeakin1732
    @tommeakin1732 5 років тому +1

    You have no idea how badly I hoped your slav-jacket would catch fire during that NordVPN ad. I don't even dislike you, that'd just have been really funny

  • @ronnieruble7298
    @ronnieruble7298 5 років тому +23

    Waiting for the "told you so" video on Mordhau.

    • @jerrodniles
      @jerrodniles 5 років тому +1

      Ronnie Ruble he already talked about it in his podcast bruh

    • @SantaClaus-kk8zr
      @SantaClaus-kk8zr 5 років тому +2

      @@jerrodniles He talks about a lot of stuff in his podcast bruh, a lot of stuff he also makes or made videos on. Bruh.

    • @jerrodniles
      @jerrodniles 5 років тому +1

      Santa Claus Don’t bruh me bruh.

    • @WolfWood893
      @WolfWood893 5 років тому +2

      Jerrod Niles Bruhs lets not bruh each other right now, we’re all Bruhs here.

  • @KBA6
    @KBA6 5 років тому +18

    I feel like Sam's forehead grows just a tiny bit longer in every video.

  • @Balke7757
    @Balke7757 5 років тому +1

    Sam you should make a video where you steal the train in red dead online and hunt and load all the bodies and skins on to the train and ride into town and I would recommend you do it with friends

  • @FirstLast-hs5op
    @FirstLast-hs5op 5 років тому

    I like this style for Tarkov videos, in the past they seemed sluggish and it was hard to get into, this new setup where it's presented like a old cheesy action movie. Very nice.

  • @AyyyyUhhhh
    @AyyyyUhhhh 4 роки тому

    “Ok I’m waking out of here with that shotgun, that’s what’s happening here” fucking great 😂🤣

  • @ignore2466
    @ignore2466 5 років тому +1

    Amazing charisma and production quality are the reasons I watch your videos

  • @hwatsitooyah869
    @hwatsitooyah869 5 років тому +10

    Sometimes, I see the way Sam interacts with his buddies and wonder how ruthless he'd be in an apocalyptic wasteland. wait I watched the rust gameplays nvm

    • @aaronb2334
      @aaronb2334 5 років тому +1

      If his kenshi is anything to go by, he will be enslaved with no limbs as a fuck doll

  • @MichaelSmith-py6mg
    @MichaelSmith-py6mg 5 років тому +4

    The intro reminds me of something you’d see on Spike TV back in the day

  • @MadMax-ec8er
    @MadMax-ec8er 5 років тому +1

    I swear every time sam uploads it never fails to bring some joy to my life

  • @TNTspaz
    @TNTspaz 5 років тому +1

    Therapist
    I can now never unsee this and I hate it

  • @cameronbutler9138
    @cameronbutler9138 5 років тому

    Sam I've been a fan for a while now. But the pitbull thumbnail is by far the most hilarious things I've seen UA-cam. I'm about to go to work and have a great day. Thanks Sam.

  • @dj16891
    @dj16891 5 років тому

    Yo Gs,
    Order some mimosa bark. Then boil it with 1 10th part vinegar. Then add some caustic acid. About 30 grams unless it's less than 1 to 9. Then add some shellite, immediately after the caustic soda. Shake the solution. Then put in a glass dish. Have fun.

  • @nataliakruschev5078
    @nataliakruschev5078 5 років тому +1

    WipeOut64 music? Absolute CHAD.

  • @tomca941
    @tomca941 5 років тому +2

    It's always a good day when theres a new Sam video 👌

  • @ZJtraylor
    @ZJtraylor 5 років тому +2

    “I feel like my track suit is melting to my body.” You know you have a human child under your care right?

  • @dougformerlysekkohegane9303
    @dougformerlysekkohegane9303 5 років тому

    Sam nice choice of music in the opening. I bet barely anyone knows what it is from. You gots some good taste.

  • @B3ast3fdude
    @B3ast3fdude 4 роки тому +1

    you hit me once with the hatchet!! - everyone's getting a taste. lmao

  • @protostar5767
    @protostar5767 5 років тому +1

    This is one of the most intense opening sequences in cinematic history.

  • @Scorch052
    @Scorch052 5 років тому

    I saw Muscle and Fungle queuing up on Interchange the other day and knew the video was comin. I was not disappointed.

  • @DaKdawg
    @DaKdawg 5 років тому +1

    Got my fix in. Thanks General.

  • @Nemes_memes
    @Nemes_memes 5 років тому

    I think this has been one of my favorite General Sam videos so far. Y'all should play tarkov hide n' seek more often

  • @sshep86
    @sshep86 5 років тому +5

    The Nord 'Hack' was never about stealing saved information. It was about someone accessing the tunnel and being able to decrypt information travelling through it because they had access to the key. So although there was no saved information on the servers, someone could see the information that was being sent and received through the tunnel/s, potentially identifying information or stuff you don't want anyone knowing. In other words, the entire reason for using a VPN was compromised and although there was no data saved on the servers, there was nothing to stop the person who gained access from saving the information flowing through the tunnel. In fact, there is no way of ever knowing what information was stolen, because no data is kept to refer to. If someone has had important info stolen, they will never know.

  • @egg5618
    @egg5618 5 років тому +3

    Hey so no one heard this from me but just to let you know Since Tarkov is client-side if you join servers with high ping the game not only runs smoother, but shots connect more and it gives you up to a full second of reaction time. I know this from a vid me and some friends watched recently and it makes a lot of sense. I'm not gonna explain everything here but it works I've tried it. It makes the game much more playable and from what I know many of the big names in Tarkov are using this. Just watch the top right corner of the screen and if they have high ping it will show up as a red number. Most streamers and UA-camrs cover this. Its believed this is done in an attempt to hide their ping. Just wanna let yall know

  • @abrahamgraves1164
    @abrahamgraves1164 4 роки тому

    When sam discard that juck box i felt like crying in a corner.

  • @CSargeP
    @CSargeP 5 років тому

    Man that Wipeout 64 music hit me with a wave of nostalgia.

  • @I_Am_Monstrum
    @I_Am_Monstrum 5 років тому

    Love the use of the music from wipeout. *chef's kiss

  • @HorstEwald
    @HorstEwald 5 років тому +1

    Seeing Sam actually DRAGGING the money to purchase those CAR medkits killed me.
    I'm dead now.

  • @rambojohn272727
    @rambojohn272727 Рік тому +1

    It's ironic that before the found in raid mechanic came out, no one would want to leave tarkov, there was too much money that you could make to want to leave. Now that found in raid has ruined the game, all people want to do is leave tarkov but you can't. Makes me sad.

  • @arrrrrrrrrrrran
    @arrrrrrrrrrrran 5 років тому +5

    Anyone remember when the title of this video was “I can’t stop playing tarkov”

    • @MineSlimeTV
      @MineSlimeTV 5 років тому

      I didnt knew of this but thank you for however asking me my dearest! ^^

  • @default94321
    @default94321 5 років тому +1

    You make this game look playable. Now when I try to play I just die in one shot to everyone after loading them up with 45 rounds of paper bullets. 20+ Hours of game play with 0% progress, amazing, fun, and easy to get into...

    • @theasherroseman
      @theasherroseman 4 роки тому

      have you figured tarkov out yet? it’s fun once you figured it ouf

  • @masteredcpucpu7501
    @masteredcpucpu7501 5 років тому

    I love the power couple you made with Hans and Frans. Better love story then twilight

  • @thejoker5755
    @thejoker5755 5 років тому

    Sam you hitting 1 million subs 2020 Congrats my dude

  • @CrimsonEsso
    @CrimsonEsso 5 років тому

    Man, these Tarkov vids are some of your best content yet. Keep em coming man.

  • @nicofromtheweb4891
    @nicofromtheweb4891 5 років тому

    That nordVpn segment was so great. i love it so much. thank you so much

  • @jondoe6663
    @jondoe6663 2 роки тому

    Fun fact: Hanger is also a term for a type of sword.

  • @fortnitemusicblocks1571
    @fortnitemusicblocks1571 4 роки тому

    5:05 the first thing I realized playing tarkov xD

  • @destraw6221
    @destraw6221 5 років тому +1

    Love your music choices man, all your soundcloud buds sound like school of J Dilla graduates with honors

  • @UnfitToLive
    @UnfitToLive 5 років тому +1

    "I wonder why Sam's always coming back from raids with a face full of mayo. Dude needs to find a less messy snack."

  • @ICanHazAnything
    @ICanHazAnything 4 роки тому

    LOL! "The fart jettisons into your belly button and parts your stomach hair like moses and the red sea" fuckin dying.

  • @gonufc
    @gonufc 5 років тому +5

    Sam's suddenly turned into some sort of cyber weirdo that also likes to go to a fancy, expensive gym with the lads from the investment group.

  • @Idothinkysaurus
    @Idothinkysaurus 5 років тому

    5:41 "Gotta profit real quick." *Misses fucking every shot*

  • @khanate1879
    @khanate1879 5 років тому

    just gotta say love the music cuts and the fact your chosing songs 44 minutes into beat tapes and not just searching nujabees wannabeats on youtube playlists.

  • @DiranJiru
    @DiranJiru 5 років тому

    Ah heck. Here I go NOT escaping Tarkov again.

  • @meesterpooppyy1033
    @meesterpooppyy1033 4 роки тому

    Man the background music went hard at 4:17

  • @SorryBones
    @SorryBones 5 років тому

    1:00
    Trailer moment right there, gamer moves

  • @williamhenryharrison644
    @williamhenryharrison644 5 років тому +1

    7:07 what a hatchet job

  • @thezestypatriot8513
    @thezestypatriot8513 4 роки тому

    That junk box delete is 100% something I would do drunk. Then cry when Remember doing it in the morning.

  • @ryb0nez
    @ryb0nez 5 років тому +5

    The editing in this one made me coom.

    • @thetreedictator3168
      @thetreedictator3168 5 років тому +1

      Jesus is free

    • @grim9287
      @grim9287 5 років тому +3

      @@thetreedictator3168 so is worshipping the dark father, satan, our lord.

    • @thetreedictator3168
      @thetreedictator3168 5 років тому +1

      @@grim9287 cheers, I'll drink to that bro

  • @JayTraversJT
    @JayTraversJT 5 років тому +1

    1:36 sooooooo hacked?

  • @mainemail7248
    @mainemail7248 5 років тому

    That tracksuit do be fitting well tho😳😳

  • @cambargera
    @cambargera 5 років тому +16

    Hey Afk guy here. I was taking a shit and told my friend to cover me. He did not.

    • @dominicniederkorn2994
      @dominicniederkorn2994 4 роки тому

      I had a toz bitch

    • @cambargera
      @cambargera 4 роки тому +1

      @@dominicniederkorn2994 yeah try harder next time. Thanks to you we ended up in a youtube video

  • @darthjesus7959
    @darthjesus7959 5 років тому

    hey sam, been subscribed for quite a minute now and i gotta say, keep doing ur thing man, there are literally no other well developed youtubers who capitalize on the same things you do nearly as well as you do, and i would be considerably more bored on youtube if you werent here. thanks for sharing with us man, i appreciate it.
    also , you should really try to play with criken again, yalls comedy would play sooooo well off of each other, just ad revenue waiting to be made man i swear
    edit: music fuckin bops

  • @t0ri178
    @t0ri178 5 років тому

    8:15 All Sam's Jewish ancestors frowned in disgust and *S H A M E*

  • @magicman3163
    @magicman3163 5 років тому +1

    Escape from Tarkov but it’s not escape from Tarkov it’s going to Popeyes in Chicago

  • @PLANKMAN
    @PLANKMAN 5 років тому +1

    here he is again, back for more, i honestly love this game and love your shenanigans

  • @Hollycow6464
    @Hollycow6464 5 років тому

    I appreciate the wipeout 64 track. Thanks for bringing this back into my life.

  • @BigCapybara66
    @BigCapybara66 4 роки тому

    How did he put on the helmet on 9:30? He just hover over his facemask, then boom, helmet is on. Is there a swap item hotkey?

  • @homelessman1453
    @homelessman1453 5 років тому +1

    The only thing in this video that was worse than wasting a million on that junkbox was when Bizzlesnaff drank a jar of mayo.

  • @PigWarfare
    @PigWarfare 4 роки тому

    9:35 my flight or fight reflexes just activated when he tried to loot Sam's shit

  • @WaitsForTheMoon
    @WaitsForTheMoon 5 років тому

    "Everybody's gettin a taste" I laughed till I cried.

  • @zackcox4002
    @zackcox4002 4 роки тому

    We need Sam to play with the Chad's shroud, doc, etc. Would be pretty interesting

  • @coaldoubt2879
    @coaldoubt2879 4 роки тому

    In Soviet Russia, Tarkov escapes from you.

  • @alexorozco6120
    @alexorozco6120 5 років тому

    Thanks to you, Jippy was my number one listened-to artist this year and all my friends made fun of me

  • @swivelskittle3926
    @swivelskittle3926 5 років тому

    After sams oculus quest video I gained a new respect for the product, and after purchasing my very own, and pursuing the game fuming with sexual energy called “Star Wars: Vader Immortal” I now know what it’s like to be strangled by an omega tall black, glistening man