Wife Swap Murders - Did Strict Household Rules Lead to Murder?
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- Опубліковано 8 тра 2022
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This is beyond strict and is just abuse. Violence is never the answer, but abusing people to their breaking point will, well, break them.
No one was being abused in this case.
@@DavidKen878 they were so sheltered. They had no time to do anything they wanted to do, their parents didn’t give them an option
@@DavidKen878 and the parents used scare tactics as a way to control their kids, saying they were going to hell just for playing video games or playing sports
@@DavidKen878 This is absolutely emotional abuse.
@@ashlynonline That's not abuse, that's called being religious. Do you call people who tell their children they'll go to hell if they don't go to church abusive?
"We don't see chores as slave labor" is a very weird thing to say unprovoked.
This level of control is so deliberate and obsessive. It's not normal to think this hard about how to control your child.
Never forget that everything you see on a reality show is crafted by the producers. Even direct quotes are responses to very specific questions, even down to coaching in how to phrase answers. I have no doubt that this was a mess of a family situation, but I wouldn't take specifics from the show too literally.
@@pazza4555 That's true.
I wonder if she had been mocked prior to this. Ppl complaining about the kids
It sounds like something you would say if someone else has already called you out and compared your parenting style/chore schedule to slave labor...
Burn in hell for video games, but double murder is forgivable. The value system is so bizarre.
I REALLLY try to refrain from judging a strangers parenting techniques, but damn.. the fear-mongering is hard to swallow. That kid literally thought he would end up in eternal hell for playing Mario cart? 😟
right… so sad
Crazy how they thought they’d end up in hell for playing video games but then one of them decided to murder.... I think that’s the one that’ll send you to hell!
I feel like at a certain level of control it’s not “parenting choices” anymore. It’s just abusing children. The isolation and making them afraid to date or engage in leisure activities is really messed up and neglectful of their social and emotional health.
Christians are like this. My mother wouldn’t let us watch Scooby Doo because ghosts = demons. She berated my father for watching Star Trek.
Never refrain it could save someone's life
I distinctly remember how traumatic the dating things was for the sons. They were literally having panic attacks at the thought of being encouraged to interact with girls. It was such a red flag.
I think what’s most bizarre is that she wouldn’t allow “outside influences” but literally allowed a TV show full of producers, cameramen, and a woman who was VERY different from them into their home.
They probably wanted fame for their family band.
When she was introducing their family all she did was talk about the band and how she managed it. She didn’t give a crap about her children she just wanted to use and control them.
Yea I thought the same thing
Many times abusive, controlling/narcissistic parents want to let other people in to see what they’re doing in an attempt to show off what good work they’re doing. Parents like this woman think that what they’re doing is right and want to show it off to people who are “right minded“ like them
@@BobHoss4 100%
Another example of why not everyone should have kids...
Well, they also raised a doctor... It's hard to say why one kid could be raised under the same circumstances and become so successful and another ends up suicidal and homicidal.
@@cassie1264 just becoming a doctor says nothing about their mental health
@@SplintersOfHope the original comment says that these parents shouldn't have had kids. They had 2 sons that actually turned out quite successful. Having a mental illness doesn't mean you were abused or raised by unfit parents.
@@SplintersOfHope right. My neighbor's son is a doctor. He's book smart af but he still needs his parents to manage the mundane details of life.
@@cassie1264 I'm in agreement with the other two replies, BUT not all the kids experience the abuse in the same way. If you talk to say, 3 adult children of abusive parents, you'll get three different perspectives. As humans not only do we have our own separate perspectives of things but also the abusive parents treat each kid very differently.
I grew up with a mom just like this one, and let me say, it DEFINITELY builds resentment and even pure hatred, creates depression and anxiety disorders, makes life a living hell. You have to re-learn EVERYTHING when you escape from the household, and the trauma of other kids/people bullying you for how you act because of how you were trained growing up is the icing on the cake road to deep sadness and insecurity. I can easily see how someone in that situation could be pushed over the edge and kill the parents. Fortunately, I have an amazing dad and I was exposed to ENOUGH of the outside world to know that I was missing out on something, even if I didn’t know what that something was. I ran away in the middle of the night from my mothers house and ran to my friends house where my dad picked me up. Haven’t spoken to my “mother” since and I don’t have any plans to. I have ptsd and intense anxiety and nightmares from my experiences living like this sheltered family home, and I hope more people learn that this is NOT the way to raise happy kids.
i wish my story was more similar to yours.
His mom sounds like a phycopath, smh band manager please. She is not a victim. She is the perpetrator in this. Evil.
@@1800PAlN do you need help? Are you okay?
@@Rubycella yep. Unfortunately some women out there are conditioned as children and then pass that abusive conditioning on to their kids. Shameful.
@@1800PAlN are you all right?
I feel sorry for the youngest brother, may his soul rest in peace.
If he had killed his mother only or her and his father I might have bought into the idea that it was the strict upbringing but killing the younger brother makes me think he was just a rotten apple. They happen in the best of families. The youngest brother's death is the greatest tragedy since it sounds like he had a strong head on his shoulders and a plan for his life.
@@mortimerbrewster3671 Or, maybe, he feared more abuse from the father if the brother had to live with him after the murder of their mother. Also, he may have been afraid that little brother would go straight to hell if he left him alive to commit these sins that were impossible to not commit. This way, little brother goes straight to heaven since he was still so young.
@@cmcordoYT what if the little brother told mum he had been raping him for years so he killed mum & him to shut up.
@@askauntyd9884huh? Where did u get the raping from??
Yes! He was the rapist-that makes sense. You still have urges-taking them out on mom and the youngest makes sense. As a society, we NEED to be somewhat more open on a different level (not porn etc) but more REAL about young peoples urges. They are going to find a way to satisfy them. Also, there were cousins they were close to?? I wonder what they were like
She didn’t need to write out all those rules. She could have just said “no fun, no joy” and that would’ve covered it
You hit the nail on that one
Exactly!
Honestly
No but fr
😭😭ROTFL
interesting that someone who was sheltered from literally all violence (video games, tv, rap, etc.) could still commit such a violent crime.
The irony
Yes, so true and I think that shows these type of structures are not fit for the purpose and are rarely successful in raising kids (family, people, etc). If she had loosened the leash a bit, it might have been a different story perhaps? But there seemed to be a sense of fear, especially with regards to the mother, and her rules given without reasonable explanations and debate created a toxic situation. So the irony of their whole situation is not lost on most people ?
There was a 4 year old in India in a small village that murder a baby, his cousin and a stranger baby which she didn’t cover the younger serial killer. There was no video or tv but this child was a true serial killer. He told cops hitting the baby in the head and killing it didn’t give him the same pleasure as killing his cousin not realizing baby that are super young don’t see danger or death coming as a older child do. It was chilling to hear child talk like a older serial killer that killed because he love to see another person in pain.
What made his violent? I know people don’t want to believe it but there are some people that are just born wicked you can be a loving or a cold and it wouldn’t matter it rare but it do happen. It even happens in nature where some animals are just more aggressive and go on killing sprees even killing their own kind.
Ironic as hell!
@@michelemartin3642 no some people are just made to be killers. He's clearly psychotic, it's only on him and no one else.
This is emotional abuse. I can’t stand when parents use the “your going to hell” as a tactic to control their kids.
I agree but why kill his brother.. just leave at 18!!
Suzy. I’m betting he didn’t want to leave the youngest brother alone with the parents when he left, and the only way out for them was to die together after taking out the mother for revenge. This is what happens when you abuse your kids
That or threats of being "honor killed" for your sins. (Which is ironic, because murder is also a sin...🤔)
Chaos country USA.
I don't see how any parent can sleep at night putting that kind of fear into their children. I also believe it's harmful for parents to tell their children other people are going to hell for certain sins. Years ago, my son came home upset because a kid told him I was going to hell because I didn't take him to church to form a relationship with God. I believe I'm just not a fan of religion. It's just a mind f*ck all around and gives them a superior demeanor towards others.
"Laurie actually called Catherine a terrible parent, which she was not too happy about" Laurie put it VERY nicely. I would've called her much worse.
Let’s be clear- she wasn’t one to throw stones. Having your teenage daughters boyfriends live with you is pretty ridiculous. It’s like.. hey teen pregnancy comeeee on over!
@@dvsdawl That’s not usually how teen pregnancy happens.
@@dvsdawl you sound just as deranged and out of touch with reality as Catherine. Please don’t reproduce, but if you already have please see a psychiatrist. Also I’m assuming you didn’t pass 6th grade biology because that’s not how babies are made…
@@dvsdawl but you don’t know the situation the boyfriend was in. he most likely needed a place to stay and they offered him one. most likely
@@sugarpearl9781 not usually, but almost guaranteed.
I went to a private Christian school for a few years as a teen. (I was a rebellious kid so my parents sent me there). And I come from a pretty relaxed household. How strict some parents were and out of touch with the outside world some of the other students were was mind blowing.
After graduation a lot of students had severe breakdowns. Addiction ridden, a few took their own lives from inability to handle the real world and lived risky lifestyles because they were so sheltered. It was really sad to see.
Sheltering can be really dangerous.
:/
for sure, these kids often spiral out of control, either because they can't handle the real world, or because they want to try it all but don't know how to do it safely or without going overboard
I had a similar experience to you. Crazy how strict some parents were. It was sad
THIS 🙌 I also went to Catholic school for over a decade, and just like you said all of the girls who were super sheltered went to college and went absolutely crazy, Because they'd never experienced freedom before, myself included. And when you're taught that everything is a sin and everything is taboo it just makes you more curious about it when it's been kept from you your whole life
We homeschooled with a pretty strict mindset for a few months, then drifted naturally towards "Unschooling" where all of life is treated as a lesson and I let my kids follow their own interests and passions. but we were on the edge of this strict homeschooling for a while and we knew more than one family in that strict category where the kids went nuts as soon as they hit college age. They had no capacity for dealing with real life. Suicide attempts, drug use, complete lack of sexual inhibitions...life-wrecking stuff.
In fact, another homeschooling family who weren't weird about contact with the outside world were still very strict with their kids and I watched their son blow a full ride scholarship by playing computer games with his buddies all day, every day...lost a scholarship and became a used care salesman LOL but I highly admired that family because their kids were so well-behaved...until they got freedom. So, hyper strictness is a huge issue. Creates troubled kids who grow into troubled adults.
I agree. I was very sheltered and my parents were really overprotective. I moved halfway across the country for college. Never been independent in any way before and my parents did NOT teach me how to adult. Started drinking a drugging, dropped out, and almost unalved myself many times. And parents are usually completely clueless about anything they did may have led to that point. I know what its like to realize that your parents would be absolutely incapable of helping you, even if they wanted to.
Interesting how the mother won't allow television for her children yet decided to put her whole family on a reality tv series?? Said she doesn't want the modern outside influences but invites a camera crew over. She clearly is watching tv and knows about the show.
good point
Probably using it as a way to spread her religion to the unbelievers
Right
I thought the same thing.
@@emilybunny_beauty1291 or she was trying to get their band on TV & get famous. Also, I'm curious how much of that show is real & how much is played up for TV. Producers love to stir stuff up for good TV
I feel like there was abuse of all kinds happening in the house. I get wanting to protect your kids but she was straight controlling EVERY aspect of their lives.
This reminds me of an extreme case of when sheltered students go to college and taste freedom they never have. They can be unprepared for the pressures of the ‘outside world’. Parents should always be preparing their children for the next step in life and putting them in a bubble does more harm than good.
There is a quote I saw somewhere "we are not raising children we are raising adults" You are supposed to prepare your kids for the outside world and how to live a life without you in charge of them this strict style of parenting leaves them completely unprepared and also doesn't protect them from bad influences they are more likely to be influenced by people as they have been their whole life
My parents sheltered me, and honestly, it probably turned me into an above-average liar and manipulator. I still got my hands on everything I wanted to. Said "No" to the stuff I knew would kill me. They should've had more faith in me.
Not trying to excuse anything, but if you squeeze your children so hard trying to keep a hold on them, eventually they'll pop. This was avoidable.
I agree!! I don't condone murder whatsoever but I see where he snapped
Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?
@@justme240 The same reason all abused people don't go on to abuse. There's something, either internal or external, that sets those who choose violence apart. I've mentioned this in other true crime videos.
@Butwhythough it’s been proven time & time again.
@@temp_unknown Thank you. At least you answered correctly!
Honestly this doesn’t surprise me. These parents weren’t just strict, they were abusive. Mentally and emotionally abusive. When you try to control another person like this and break them down of everything that makes them an individual eventually that person is going to snap. And honestly I’m sorry this happened but I see why it happened and I really hope that Jacob is able to move forward and live his life when he leaves prison. I feel like in many ways he’s a victim too.
His younger brother didn’t abuse him. He didn’t have to kill him or anyone else. He had access to a gun, he could’ve used that to keep them from stopping him from running away. You can’t say you were held against your will when you had access to a gun
@@bellezanegra0206 makes sense
@@bellezanegra0206 Then you do not understand the nature of abuse or how control shapes a mind.
@@bunnymad5049 Agree. I don't think you're making logical decisions when you're raised in this way. Maybe in his head he was saving him and his brother :/
Absolutely- I was going to say I think "strict" doesn't cover this situation. "Strict" is having high standards for academics, behaving politely, etc. Strict is what parents do when they are really worried about their kid being "successful" in life. This is just abuse.
Parents like this drive me nuts, my parents were culty Christians and I remember as a young child having extreme guilt, shame and the belief I would burn in hell and it's so sad to look back on, I am thankful every day they got divorced when I wasn't very old because it knocked them out of it, pushed them away from the church and made my life so much better. I was allowed to believe in Santa, go trick or treating, listen to non Christian music, watch Harry Potter, etc. If they didn't get divorced I think I wouldn't have even had the little bits of childhood I do look back on fondly today, and I don't believe I would have came out to my family, or told anyone when I was raped (I would have believed those things made me a sinner and a product of the devil). Strict, hardcore religious parenting is traumatizing for children, and it won't make them any less who they are, in fact it'll probably drive out the worst parts of them due to repression and guilt. Religious abuse is a very real and dangerous thing.
So true. Some people don’t understand what living in these households can be like and how it can make someone do what he did..
I was raised in a very strict Christian environment, went to a strict church, and I met several families along the way who were as strict as the Stockdale family. I'm now in my 30's and I can see how the kids turned out... I can honestly say that THIS IS NOT GOOD!!! SO MANY of them ended up on drugs. Some of them turned out ok, but it just seems like they carry a sadness with them. Not a single person turned out to live a life that makes me want to raise my kids this way.
People need to stop f*ing with kids' minds and just let them live!
Yes! I agree. Kids need self expression, they need to be able to learn hard lessons, they need to be in the real world, they need to learn social norms, they need to learn who they are and what they like and don’t like. I could go on and on with that, but what it boils down to is that those kids did not have a normal or healthy upbringing. And it’s no wonder it drove one of them over the edge. Very sad.
!!!!
Amen!!!
Turned out ok... On the outside.
That is so terribly sad.
He’ll be more free in prison than he ever was at home! This level of strict parenting is abusive and extremely unhealthy!
sad but so true
To Vicky M, i think prison is going to put Jacob over the edge. He's not street savvy, he's not an ex con, he's a murderer, yes, but not from LIFE , but from his mother's own mental illness which yes, I think she was mentally ill in many respects. Prison is a horror show (and this is a personal statement) for most men who've been through imo, some of the worst things life has to offer and yet even THEY have an extremely hard time dealing with life in jail. Can you imagine what this is going to do to Jacob?
How's it abusive?
@@mlbashanti8885 how? this case proves how it is abusive.
@@mlbashanti8885 I think it's a form of mental abuse. And if not, then it should be considered that. Isolation is bad for someone's well-being.
My gut tells me he did suffer from some form of mental illness but his parents strike me as the type to either dismiss things like that or think “praying” it away will help🤦🏽♀️
Right. To me if it was only because of his mothers "controlling them" as many have said, wouldnt he have only shot his mother? He shot his little brother aswell. So it really just weighs on him and his bad deed, and seems less likely the mom's fault as many jumped to.
@@terrealcee There have been people saying that he mistook his younger brother as his father. Either way: a mental illness doesn't just make you a killer, as many people still believe. (Which is a harmful ableist belief). So yes, the parents are absolutely at fault for this. They were controlling and fear mongering.
It's horrible, and he shouldn't have done what he did. But it's also a crime to torment your children like those parents did.
I feel so bad for Jacob and his brothers. The abuse they suffered was an unnecessary evil at the hands of their overbearing and cruel parents. They were raised in a prison-like setting and it’s sad to say he’ll probably have more freedom now that he’s an actual prison.
The mom actually reminds me of a cult leader. She isolated her children from outside influences, super religious, very strict, and her most important rule being (basically) just do as I say and don't question it.
That's exactly what she was. She just liked being in control of EVERYTHING. Using religion and discipline as an excuse to keep her sons on a leash. This isn't caring or loving or even disciplined... disgusting.
Exactly what she was ! In a way she destroyed herself , she provided her own means of destruction , by mentally abusing her child to the point he turned on her , it like some guy abusing his pitbull to make it vicious but then is shocked when it turns on him or a family member.
If she had let the kid do whatever he wanted it would have turned out the exact same way. Maybe worse. His upbringing had nothing to do with it and if it did then ALL of her children would have been deviants. Rather, they are well liked and respected members of their community....
@Dani Phillips I agree Dani. Our minds try and find the quickest and easiest solution. This video kinda guided everyone to the same conclusion (in my opinion). Still an enjoyable video though. Anyways, take care and thank you!
@@JackalBlack you do have a point , but that mother was too much , the kid couldn't take much more and snapped ! ..yeah he is no hero ..FACT many serial killers had over bearing mothers like that .
The movie PHYCO for example hits pretty close to the mark ! That kid will forever hear his mother's voice barking comamds at him in a mental hospital .
Stark county resident here. This family was actually one of my best friend's neighbors growing up. We would constantly try and get their attention when we were in HS, because honestly, they weren't "bad looking" by any means, and we were teenage girls. They would perform at the Strawberry festival every year and sold their CDs, etc and we would try to flirt. Mom was always so weird and glared at everyone and she would yell at them to stay on their property. As an adult, I moved slightly North to the more "city" area, but when this story broke, it shook our entire community. I couldn't sleep for days it was so disturbing. Jacob was so cute with such a happy smile. You just never really know what's going on behind closed doors.
I am so sorry this was so close to home for you. I cannot imagine how harrowing it was to find out about this. Did the mom seem very controlling? And what about the dad?
@@jherlenecargill4081 they were always very nice. Mom seemed the judgy type but tbh they kept to themselves. Same with dad. Sure they seemed odd, but our lives were just different 🤷🏼♀️
I lived in Bolivar when this happened and knew this family (not well) but we knew them. I remember them at the Strawberry festival they were one of my favorites every year because my grandpa loved bluegrass music. I do find it strange that Tim still lives on the property. I am not sure that I could live on the property that my family was killed on by my son. It is a shame. Truly a sad story
Yea everyone’s home life is different but we’d shouldn’t mix different with straight out abuse and manipulation
Oh wow, that's so crazy girl!
Psychological and emotional abuse is not the same as being strict. This lady was a controlling woman that looked at her kids as help and not children. They pretended it was the dust bowl times and only the children could keep the family afloat. Bubble brain mentality never ends well. So damn sad for all of them.
I can't help but wonder what made their mother agree to be on Wife Swap in the first place. For someone who wanted nothing to do with the world of TV, technology and unwholesome music, it seems bizarre that she let her life be taken over by a TV crew and another woman to enter her home to change the rules after one week. She was never going to achieve anything other than giving her sons a glimpse at the real world. It's likely that this was the start of Jacob's issues.
I think for her it was two fold. As the band manager, it’s publicity. As a controlling, abusive POS, it was the chance to potentially control someone else’s children too.
She thought she was on to something. She thought she was an amazing parent for providing this life for her children. She wanted recognition for her awesome parenting choices.
I'm guessing that as a "good christian wife" she followed her husband's instructions to a T. She probably wouldn't have loved to leave the house. She was a homemaker and the dad probably told her to go, so she went. They possibly needed the money and they thought spreading their way of life would be testimony of God's work or something
money and exposure probably
Probably for money
This is not "strict", this is abuse on par with a cult. The parents are 100% responsible for the death of that poor boy and forcing Jacob to commit such an act. I hope he is able to heal from the trauma his parents caused and is able to start living his life once he is out of prison.
Still didn’t need to murder ppl. The simpimg for murderers is incredible creepy. You may want to see a therapist.
@@siennad587 u clearly have no idea what the word simp means lol
@@siennad587 they have a good point , doesn’t mean they are simping for the murderer
That would be true … if we weren’t talking about a 25 year old man. I understand the conditioning, and maybe he didn’t see leaving as an option for him. But he’s still old enough to know that murder isn’t the answer. He spent his whole life under the rules of his parents, now he’ll spend the rest under the rules of the state. Didn’t think that one through!
@@siennad587 You don’t know what that word means. And they did not excuse murder. Are you illiterate?
Just a side note- Catherine’s grammar in that rule book was atrocious; she was not in the position to be teaching anyone else
THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one who noticed 😂
Her rules were psycho but her grammar seemed fine tbh. Unless I missed something..
@@EllaJay yeah I went back to read it and maybe I missed something too
The producers write the rule books, not the participants. They exaggerate what is useful to them too.
I thought the rule book was decently written..the punctuation was perfect which leads me to believe she didn't write is completely by herself..
I lived with very strict parenting in high school. I can say, if I had not left when I did, if I lived with my strict parents until I was 25, I feel I could have snapped. Perhaps he felt a different pressure, his two older brothers left the house and perhaps the parents put more pressure on him to stay or perhaps he felt guilty leaving. All I can say is this is so sad.
Well he was only 15 at the time of the show. I was raised strict too which made me a more lax parent. I didn’t want my kids to feel like I did growing up, But they do bring something to the table, they have jobs ect.
Without the tv show wife swap we may have never been aware of how strict their upbringing was
I understand having a set time for meals when you have a bunch of kids but charging them a late fee for food sounds almost sadistic to do to someone who’s still learning how the world works.
@nicole elizabeth exactly like when i moved out i ate quesadillas at 3am bc id be either studying or out with my friends
The Dad forgives him because he knows that his and the mom's abusive parenting drove him to this (and is just happy he wasn't home at the time). The brothers forgive him because they experienced the same abuse, understood how he was suffering, and where able to escape.
My surprise was that they brought them up afraid to play video games "or you'll go to hell" ... but murder two people and "can we have the lightest possible sentence?" ... I suspect you are right.
@@bunnymad5049 but “video games cause violence”
He never even played them & yet still managed to kill someone. Interesting.
@@Tw0Dots Unsure if you're just doing a general quote or think I said it? Personally, I think it's complex and that for some people, video games (psychology has shown) they can influence, however, of course they won't influence everyone depending on all kinds of reasons that are so uniquely individual. But, yeah - you're right. It doesn't take video games to cause violence at all. Our nature is enough. For people who think they do in a "blanket" way - I wonder if they thought Caesar, Stalin, Hitler, Ilse Koch etc, were time travellers ... hehe
Totally agree that if the dad was home, he would have been killed also. I wonder if James was killed in place of the dad or it was a ‘mercy killing’ so James didn’t have to suffer anymore or something like that?
@@sammithompson701 i’m just sus as to why the son waited to kill his family after his dad left. i don’t know maybe just me.
I believe he snapped (and/or realized his mom was a cult leader basically) and his target was her, but the brother got in the way. Since you said there was only one bullet that went through them I'm assuming his brother either purposely protected her, or got caught in the middle somehow. I really can't see why he'd want to shoot him too.
At first I took it the way you did, 1 bullet for 2 of them but it was 2 people each shot once, it was just phrased very awkwardly
God imagine what other emotional manipulation they went through if they’re told you’ll go to hell for simply playing video games and you’re so scared you cry!
The fact that she had to preface the paragraph with "we do not look at chores as free slave labour" already means she does.💁🏻♀️😬😱
That’s what I said; It sounds like something you would say when you in fact DO that!
Thought the exact same thing
Yes! What a strange statement.
That's the 1st thing I thought!
I feel so bad for Jacob and James. Notice how the oldest son didn't even say a word about his mom? Really says a lot. I'm sure a lot worse happened behind closed doors such as physical abuse. All those boys were handsome. It's just so sad. I feel kinda down now 😕
Yeah I really do think there was physical abuse. The boys weren’t allowed to make any mistakes:(
extremely handsome
Not too sure what their looks have to do with literally anything... That's a weird comment
@@rage_188 I think it's a way to implicate there may have been way more abuse than just physical and emotional. That woman had a firm grip on those poor boys entire being.
@@samonelly4813 emotional abuse is so much worse but physical abuse is probably there.
Can you imagine how much more strict Katherine and Tim would've been on their kids if they had daughters?
They wouldn't have been allowed to:
1. Wear makeup
2. Style, dye or highlight their hair
3. Wear pants, they would've only been allowed to wear skirts and dresses.
4. Date, just like the boys
5. Do their nails or do any type of skin care routine
6. Even if they were allowed to only wear skirts and dresses, they couldn't be above the knee.
7. They wouldn't have been allowed to talk about or be given the sex talk or the conversation about puberty because it's 'sinful'.
Honestly, Katherine was a terrible parent.
Let’s hope that the 2 oldest Stockdale boys doesn’t do this to their children. Let’s hope they learn that being too strict and controlling could lead to tragedy as it did in this family. A mother and brother dead and a son doing 30 to life in prison.
I grew up with a super strict parent in a cult. I can relate to everything but the murdering part.
They really stunt our emotional and mental growth.
Same💔
@@soumayafirdous8287 hugs!!!!
Calvin's statement was really telling, only kind words about James and nothing about Katherine
yes i noticed that too. they were not mad at him for killing their mom but only hurt that they lost their other brother.
People like this tend to not, "spare the rod.." if you get my meaning.
Wow, so true. Didn't realize that until your comment. I wonder what made him not mention anything about his mother, and the fact that they were all so forgiving of Jacob might be saying something deeper.
@@missygonzales4790 yeah that’s the part I can’t get over. I think I’d be more understanding had he not of killed his brother… I just don’t understand why he’d kill the little brother and not specifically the parents if it was about the abuse.
@@kc7903 Same. I wonder if perhaps he thought he was saving him or sparing him from going down the same path like he did. So he wouldn't have to deal with the same struggle.
To me, it sounded like that mom was almost trying to turn her family into a little cult.
A straight up cult
yeah her rules are very much the same as cults, telling them they'll burn in hell for this, discouraged from leaving, controlling information by funneling it through one channel. just gross
Yes, that's what I felt too!
@@briarchambliss Yes, exactly! That's what I kept thinking, with all those things she made them fear, and made them do
They were probably a part of some fundamentalist Christian sect. Trust, those are very prevalent in rural and southern communities still.
This reminds me a lot of the menendez brothers, the parents push their kids to a breaking point and then they act out violently. We see it time and time again. Gypsy rose did the same thing.
The menedez brothers was just greedy .
You can't shelter your children this harshly. I grew up in a home like this but more strict and Mormon, we were locked in our rooms for 3 years. He may have felt it was his only escape. I almost jumped off a 2 story house to get away but my adoptive mother put locks on the windows. We had room inspections and we never passed no matter how hard we tried or cleaned. You had to pass to leave the room. Thank God my sister got us out of there by telling a friend whose dad was a cop about our abuse. We were removed the last day of school and put in an orphanage and I spent 13 to 18 years of age in hundreds of foster homes.
I mourn the lives he took but I also mourn for him. We had the nice family photos the wonderful vacations to keep us quiet. No one would have ever known our perfect family was really effed up.
When the mom said she liked homeschooling them because she could control them, I was immediately like well yeah you control every single else they do, of course you like that you can control their schooling too.
I'm wondering what the religion based home schooling was like and what a shock going to college must have been. I'm wondering if studying to become a doctor at college for him had to start with 8th grade biology.
Shocking to me she would choose to be on a show where someone else comes in to parent her kids for a bit, sounds like something she would be dead against
I'm taking you're a fan of the public school system.
That’s not even the point Kentsueki. She was controlling and abusive in ALL aspects of these children’s life. She held them hostage and she deserved to be thrown in jail had she not been taken out of the game permanently.
Every parent should control their kids schooling
you don't teach respect by treating your kids like slaves. those parents are insane.
I feel so bad for him. His mind was broken by his own parents, ridiculously strict and religious. He probably felt like drowning.
And who knows what other crazy things their parents did to them.
She kept them isolated with no socialization outside the family. That would make anyone crazy. I feel bad for the younger brother.
Apparently so, I did read another comment from some saying they were raised in a strict family as well. Once they were on their own they went crazy and did things they wanted before becoming depressed or something.
Basically people rrally do need to let their kids have some freedom to do things they want it's good for their health and wellbeing.
I was a bit disturbed and unsettled about this family well before you got to the actual murder part of the story. I'm not denying that the parents probably loved their children, but their method of parenting was on par with the type of mentality that I associate with a cult. I get wanting to 'shelter' your kids from so many of the things in the world, but you have to allow for some degrees of exposure or you risk them having horrible culture shock when they grow up and actually set out on their own... I'm not condoning violence, but I can see how a child raised like this might crack and have some sort of crisis.
No they didn’t love them, their kids were trophies and money making objects and free farm labourers.
Edit: wasn’t sheltering, it was them isolating them so they don’t rebel.
I do not believe that these people loved their children
@@elsafrozen7506 me either. 😔
Doesnt seem like they loved them to me 🤷♂️
YES, this 100%
This is abuse. Children thrive on structure and routine, but there is such a thing as too much of it. These children were raised like military soldiers and I feel terrible for them.
Military soldiers have more freedom than these kids did.
Military soldiers are treated better than that
Exactly. She got what was coming to her.
With zero combat training 🤣
As a veteran, I can tell you that soldiers have far more independence than these kids.
100% those parents, especially the mother, abused those children. They didn’t let them be their own person. Have any sort of life. Nothing.
Sadly this situation hits home with me . With my step mom and dad I wasn’t aloud to have snack or drinks other then meal time I got less to eat and was always still hungry and thirsty . Even going to the extent of drinking out of the sink and shower . I wasn’t aloud to have fun breakfast meals like my step siblings. I was to eat plain Cheerios everyday and if I didn’t eat them all , they were to be put In the fridge to eat the next morning . Also mind you my step siblings and dad and step mom would eat eggs and good cereal and French toast etc . I had to watch them eat that and even watch them cook it and not enjoy it with them . I also had very very strict chores to do everyday and wasn’t able to play outside . I was only aloud to do my chores read and do school work which she also made me do school work she made up as well after my home work . I wasn’t aloud to watch tv with the family . I was able to play sports or stay with friends the only friends I had was at school and she would cut my hair like a boy and dress me like a old lady . Which I got made fun of . I got beat for things my siblings did . I literally could go on for days . I was so terrified to them I didn’t want to live with them I waited until my mom and grandparents were dropping me to tell them , in fear I would be beaten . I was then sat outside the day my mom came and got me at age 9 outside by myself for 12 hours in the middle of summer with no food or drinks home alone . Since they were so mad I was leaving and knew I was going to tell people the truth what they did . I still don’t have a good relationship with them I forgave them but they aren’t loving people . This is hard for me to share but I truly hope it helps people . I went through so much more but it would take forever to type . Don’t ever treat you kids this way . I’m still messed up from this I’ve been in counseling my whole life from it and still can’t fix it . I ask my husband which I also use to ask my mom for food and drinks when I wanted something and when I still do . It truly messed me up ! People don’t realize how it can easily mess up a kids life ! I am now a mom of two and I promise you I will never forget to make sure they feel loved or ever go a day hungry or thirsty ! Those are our babies we have to protect them ! If you don’t want kids and treat them the right way people shouldn’t have them . I also reported this to the cops with my mom and the courts and nothing was done sadly ! I would go to school with welts and bruises on me and my teachers even called them for me . Nothing was ever done . If you see someone going through a situation like this please please don’t give up and get them help because I promise you it’s a lot worse than you can imagine typically and they are going to be messed up from it .
Hugs to you....
I'm so sorry:(
Sadly you were a Cinderella. I hope you’re doing good now.
I honestly feel bad for him. His mother broke him. I'm shocked the family still supported Jacob considering. The wildest part is the other mom knew it was Jacob when she heard the news. Just based on that brief time she spent with their family.
I do too. Extreme parenting in any direction will yield bad results. Horrific ! I remember their episode & that other mom wanted to fight for them back then. She knew it wasn't okay. Her mother's intuition was going off big time.
Wow. That is very telling and very sad that she knew. Thanks for sharing that. Wish Kendall included that. Wow.
Guess he was coming off as more crazy weird than the rest of his weird & crazy family. Red flags gave her the hint.
what's sad is nobody wants to say it cause they're dead ... but it's the parents fault.
He killed his younger brother for no reason. That part made me lose all compassion. He's a messed up individual who needed help. He deserves to be in jail.
Call it what it is - abuse. This isn't "strict," this is a gross way of control. She did this to herself
Our parents weren't strict at all. We could have whatever we want and do whatever we want.
My brothers and I became academics, we try to live a healthy life without any drugs. We treat all people with respect and are interested in environmental protection. And we love our parents.
And that's how parenting should be done! Creating healthy boundaries and an understanding of respect and the world by exposing the children to it. It should never be "The children have to obey" and rather "We're equal and listen to each other to find solutions".
When you’re the type of person who constantly obsesses about the people in their life being swayed by “bad influences,” then you’re probably the only real “bad influence” they need to worry about.
That’s so true!!
That’s abuse. Someone should’ve intervened after this episode aired because it’s clear those boys needed help.
Yesss 👏🏽
I remember thinking this when it aired back in 2008
Reality shows are abuse. That’s the kind of drama people love to see.
Agreed. These boys were clearly emotionally and mentally abused.
There might be physical abuse too, but we don't know.
I agree, but there’s nothing the court will do in this situation - unless there is actual physical abuse. It’s very frustrating
@@kyram123 that's the sad part. And even if there is, but no marks are left on the victim, sometimes they won't do anything until it's too late and something like this happens
Cases like this always leave me feeling torn. Of course murder is not the answer, but as someone who had really strict parents I remember literally praying to God that they would just die so that I could have a stress free fun life like everyone else. I ended up running away at 13 and then I was so happy when I went into foster care after I was found 2 years later. It's hard for me to have sympathy for parents who face the consequences of making their children miserable.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing
I really like this comment because not every case is black and white. Good and evil. Some people who are good/seem good can do evil things. I personally believe most people have it in them. Everyone has their breaking point. You poke a bear enough then it will bite you back. I don’t think a lot of people get that.
I know murder isn’t the answer to this either, but I agree with you that the mom had it coming. There was a case kind of like that close to where I live. This was more of a domestic violence case, but this lady who had gone through years of verbal/ physical abuse at home snapped and killed her husband. She felt horrible afterwards, but I can’t even imagine what it was like going through that every day for years. She was a well loved and respected teacher at a local school, so it was a shock to everyone.
I'm sorry for the pain & suffering you were subjected to. All to many of us are far too familiar with these. GOD Bless.
His life plus his TBI along with the family forgiving him. I just dont know if he deserves prison at all.
So awfully sad!! Sounds like the Dad and Brothers understood the reason behind it because of how they were so forgiving, even though he also X'd the youngest brother too! 💔 Her abusive rules and terror of the world was a poison that destroyed them all. She raised them to be terrified of everything 😭
I don't remember a lot of Wife Swap because the episodes all kinda run together. I recognized Jacob from the episode I watched when he was crying and ran outside because he thought he was going to go to hell for playing video games. I was deeply sad and horrified at the time because I knew he only had a small chance of turning out mentally healthy. This is really tragic. I am not saying he is not responsible for his actions but by the time that episode aired he was already so damaged by fear and shame.
The part that boggles my mind...is that this strict family was so determined to keep their kids away from everything 'bad and sinful'...yet chose to participate in a reality TV show 🤔
Money love, this was in the 2000s where from experience a bunch of family owned farms were closing down because people were no buying, my family managed a a pig and sugar farm and we almost had to sold our entire land during this time
A lot of people like this have egos the size of Texas. I grew up in this environment. It's also a common theme amongst these types of folks to really get their rocks off from being "judged" or viewed as "different" It's validation that they aren't living of the world and that they are in holier than thou. I'm sure the mom jumped at this opportunity to show how "different" she was
They probably did it for the same reason the Duggars did, they think they can spread their message and save others
Maybe they were hoping to get publicity for their band or maybe hoped more parents thought like they did and would start raising their kids like that....not sure
@@katie5920 Those seem like the two most plausible reasons to me.
I gotta say, I find his brothers forgiving him for murdering their mother and younger brother very telling, honestly. I wonder if they sometimes also felt that their lives would have been better if their mother died. Of course we'll never know now. Regardless, I don't agree with that woman's parenting methods in the slightest, and I believe if she hadn't treated her children like that, this never would have happened.
That just means she was abusive
@@MustacheDLuffy yeah, no shit??
I find It bizarre that they are forgiving about him murdering their younger brother. Their mother, I can understand but their brother was just as much a victim of her abusive parenting as they were.
@@crystalb4178 someone said it could’ve been a mercy killing which I totally understand in that I was raised by a narcissistic mother and I always wished I never had a little sister bc I don’t want her to have to deal with what I did. I didn’t want her dead though . But this case of abuse is obviously more extreme
The mother, yes, but why the little brother???
The instrument switching was really cool! Those boys were precious.
I remember this one kid who was homeschool. We were doing community program. He went into rage bc he didnt believe a woman should be his supervisor. It was crazy like he hollar like he gone thru some kind of injustice and screaming at all women about how they need to know their place and that god intended for women to be caregivers not providers. Security had to remove him.
Jacob needed help and that is not something his parents would have given him. They would have just told him to pray about it….these kids were abused.
Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?
@@justme240 dude, stop asking the same question on every comment. You have too much time on your hands, and your question is incredibly close-minded.
@@justme240 Not every person reacts the same way to situations, just because they didn't become murderers doesn't mean they weren't messed up.
@@justme240 as well as what others said, we don’t know how the parents treated them off camera, and I’m sure as the other brothers left home there may have been more pressure on him. It could be mental illness too. It’s nice that the other brothers didn’t become murderers, but with how restrictive they’re upbringing was, it wouldn’t be surprising if they had ended up like that
@@katie5920 You don't know that. Then why do kids, who have excellent childhoods, grow up to rape and murder?
I would like to hear what a child psychologist or a therapist specializing in trauma has to say about this. While he may be “mentally competent” he was not giving any freedom to explore and that is traumatizing. Video games, trying different foods, have friends outside of the home, among other things help us grow. James and his brothers didn’t have any of that.
100% agree. These children were basically prisoners in their own home. A life like that would eventually drive any sane person to violence!
@@LiveeviL7ate9 Yeah but I know firsthand that the Amish interact with people outside their religion nearly every day. My granddad traded work with the Amish his whole life and he was Quaker. Those kids didn’t have that luxury.
@@LiveeviL7ate9 these kids didn’t go to regular school? They were homeschooled
@@LiveeviL7ate9 ??? they were homeschooled… she said that multiple times.
@@LiveeviL7ate9 ok
i see a kid who wanted to be freed so much he went to extreme levels of course it’s not an excuse but i feel for him & hope he finds peace
honestly this type of thing happens more than you’d think. parents are so mentally abusive it pushes their kids over the edge n they feel that is their only escape
His parents broke him, especially his mother. Poor kid probably thought he was saving his little brother from the trauma he carried. I feel for James, and even for Jacob. The woman who birthed them was not their mother, she was a dictator, I feel nothing for her.
I sadly think that the brother dying was either a “mercy kill” or him getting between the mother and the bullet (there have been cases of a bullet going through one person and then another. ).
This kid absolutely snapped once he realized his life wasn’t normal and how controlling his parents were.
Agreed. Nothing at all. My sympathy is for those boys.
He was 25 he could have just never went back home
@@CoCo-yv3hl i guess you’ve never been traumatized.
@@therealopaartist i think u may be right, maybe he meant to kill only the mum but the younger brother got in the way and they both died. therefore, he wanted to commit suicide for killing his brother (not the mum)
I'm only 10 minutes in and I completely understand why this would lead to murder. I'm not saying I agree or condone the actions just that I understand why such a severe upbringing, no matter how well intentions behind it, would lead to death.
Completely agree. Its a wonder only 1 of the kids snapped. She put way too much pressure and perfect expectations on those kids. I don't agree with what he did, but I can see what and why this happened. Terrible situation.
I agree there was absolutely no nurturing in that type of parenting. Paying a fee if you’re late to breakfast? Like what?
@@fisforfriday teaching them about financial penalties 🤦🏽♀️ come on now, i know she had them up at the crack of dawn AND they're kids!
She should have sent them to military school, they might have gotten more love and care from the drill sergeants!
Almost any time these super religious families cut themselves off from secular society, the cult mentality is already in place and mental health help is ruled out as necessary for kids. Look at the duggars, they knew their kids needed therapy but the solution they chose was 💫prayerz💫
Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?
The mother's power tripping inside her home was in clinical range, it was absurdly abusive, disempowering and demeaning. I'm not surprised one of the children cracked in that hell.
This is actually right down the road from where I live. Its scary when things like this happen so close to home.
It’s ironic that when you watch the episode the the dad says “on the day we moved (from the city) we heard gunshots and we knew it was the right decision” and his own son used a gun to kill his family. Also ironic that they judged the other family so harshly for listening to rap and other things when they are the ones that ended up on the news.
Yup
She wasn’t just “strict”. It was emotional abuse. Sadly, I am not surprised it ended up the way it did. If someone emotionally abused me throughout my whole life, who knows what I would be capable of.
Correct.
“she”?
@@misseselise3864yes.
@@misseselise3864 The mom!
it was basically a small cult.
We watched him preform several months before the murders.
We were totally shocked. They were an amazing family and his smile was infectious.
Just heartbreaking
New viewer here as I have had literally dozens of recommendations to watch you as you are known to be a respectful and entertaining content creator. Looking forward to watching more of your videos soon! This case was so wild.
it's interesting that jacob was still living at home at 25 and didn't go away to college like his older brothers. honestly, i'm surprised that his older brothers were able to do that since they were all controlled by fear of the real world. assimilating must have been very challenging.
it baffles my mind when parents think they're doing good when they "shield" their kids from reality. they are being set up for failure. disallowing them to create their own identities and learn from their own mistakes, creates many future problems.
I’m wondering if he didn’t leave because he was afraid of the real world.
Most of the time people who live like that
Go off somewhere like getting married
Or go to college
this is what i was thinking. imagine being sheltered like that and going to college. its so fucking different
Usually children like Jacob are the ones that are abused the most and singled out and/or had a more sensitive nature. Not every child in the same abusive home will respond the same. For Jacob, perhaps he was so broken down emotionally that he thought very little of himself & it created an emotional prison which paralyzed him & prevented him from leaving.
@@JP-su1eg Good points. Not all kids in abusive and neglectful homes are treated the same. There is usually a scapegoat. That could've been Jacob.
This case kind of reminds me of the Duggars. Children raised with strict rules and sheltered from the world. We are lucky in a sense Josh didnt go on a killing spree what he did is disgusting.
they do lead a similar lifestyle, i wonder if they’re apart of the same religious sect
Then why didn't all the Duggar kids turn out bad?
@@justme240 because once you have 19 kids and the older ones are looking after the young ones it's a bit harder to stamp the indoctrination in them. Besides the Duggar sons are still conservative, the girls who married more "relaxed" husband's have a more secular life.
I agree, those poor duggar kids probably have some real trauma. balancing the media and their strict lifestyle, i bet josh’s issues aren’t the only thing going on
@@nina-ls4wc And what studies are you basing this off of? What about the kids who have excellent childhoods and still rape and murder?
Really well covered. Your voice is easy to listen to, and you pace it gently which makes me able to take it all in well. No sensationalising either. And you didn’t force an opinion upon us. I appreciate that. It’s like an equal deal. So many true crime tellers use it to shove their opinions down your thro. It’s poison and I don’t stay. Thanks. Got a lot to contemplate out of this one. I think it’s an important story
Imagine growing up with parents that told you that you'd burn in hell if you had fun
All those rules and “don’t”s but she was okay with partaking in a reality TV show which even some of the most modern families are uncomfortable doing. Double standards? That must have confused the kids too!
I think she felt so proud and self-righteous about her parenting style that she wanted to show it off to the world. Like a "look at what a perfect mother I am, you should all be raising your kids this way too" type of thing. Definitely would have been confusing for the kids, especially when they were told they could play video games and date and stuff while the other mom was there.
Remember too that these people were instructed to exaggerate and really play up certain characteristics for entertainment purposes
@@swhitson9633 I hear you ! It is a tragedy all around
The producers probably called them up and offered a LOT of money
She wanted fame for their band and to use her kids to make money! That’s it!
I almost married a guy who grew up in a home JUST LIKE this. Except there was no internet, lol. But just like this in almost every way. His parents were the most horrible and unkind people I've ever known, yet so convinced that they were spreading the love of God.
I can understand why he would kill his mother! But why his wee Bro? Who was shout 1st? Need more information on the murder..
@@emmaleo1782 keep in mind that the conservative mother was able to establish ground rules for a week and she was very much likely abusive to the liberal family’s children. Could’ve led some of their children’s partners to leave them heartbroken.
Some say it was so that the brother didn't have yo suffer the life. Since the youngest was much younger
It seems so bizarre they agreed to wifeswap. If they were so strict how did they even know about the show?
As a person who knew them and was homeschooled with them its crazy how not surprised I am by the way they grew up. Sad
I’m glad my mom wasn’t this insane with rules. She had basic stuff like not eating Cheetos on the white rug, keep your room decent looking and do your own laundry.
& that’s normal!! but this… i feel bad for those boys , it’s extremism.
@@lifeofme374 I was decently self sufficient by middle school. Knew how to cook basic meals, how to do my own laundry, how to get blood out of clothes, how to properly make a bed, the right amount of bleach and water to clean the floor, grocery shopping…
Ya know the basic skills of life.
Ditto lol! I had to eat Cheetos outside and wash my hands straight afterwards cos she didn’t want orange cheese dust all over her white kitchen lol.
Not eating Cheetos on the white rug is also a rule I have given myself as a full grown adult lmao 😂
My biggest rule was my daughter's disaster of a room. The rule?...."you must leave a path for a fire escape".
This is downright scary. I can not imagine living in a home run like that. This is not being strict this is being abusive on a terrifying level. Those kids didn’t get a childhood and it breaks my heart. I never support murder but I can definitely see why it happened in this case. You can only push a person so far before they break. All around sad story. Thanks as always for the great coverage Kendall.
Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?
@@justme240 because people are individuals 🥴
What a stupid question
@@justme240 bc two of them left the abusive household and one of them was killed before they had the chance to snap lol
@@niaram They left to go to college as adults. It's not like they ran away. Yall need to take some psychology classes before having kids, that's all I'm saying. Understand this can happen to anyone.
@@justme240 yeah they left as adults but moving out was frowned upon so that was a big step. also moving as adults still meant escaping an abusive household lol
edit: i’m not saying that this is the reason he became a killer, but i was just explaining a reason for why all four didn’t become killers
You are glowing Kendall!! I know Pregnancy isn't always comfortable but the changes suit you well. So excited for you and your husband!
Wow first and foremost thank you for this video. Your sound and volume is FANTASTIC. I really appreciate having ample volume to hear you. Too many have volume to low and I can't hear it and then can't watch Sadly captions are frequently off. So I really appreciate your volume.
I love the wife swap shows as well. Been binging on hulu. I just watched this one this morning. Wow its sad that a family that tried so hard to institute good values and living ended in such a way. The father even said how they heard gunshots the night they moved. Its kinda chilling to hear such a premonition.
I loved wifeswap. This is one of the only ones that reallllly unsettled me. Many episodes I didn't agree with but to each their own. This family...something was really off. I firmly believe that the other mom who came in during this episode picked up on it too. She cried for those kids & was concerned. Not just the rules. Something more was going on IMO.
I got selfish mom sexually abusing the boys vibes from this story.
@Fast Track stop being thirsty and desperate for tea. Nobody knows what was going on behind doors there’s just a feeling there was something deeper. Go touch grass
Those rules were just the things she was willing to show the world, I'm sure there were even worse things happening behind the scenes
@@Deasherb agreed
The "rules" were enough to make one uber concerned
This is just sad. They grew up with no love, only severe emotional abuse. Her “no violence” rules really worked in her favor
Completely unrelated to the video. This is the first time I’ve come across your channel. I watch A LOT of true crime. You have the most relaxing and calming voice of all of them. I’m gunna go binge your videos now. THANK YOU!
I grew up in a home very, very similar to this.
Some kids who grow up like this will comply, some will rebel, and some will break. 😥
I went to college at 17, eloped at 20, and never looked back. ☀️
This is horrible, those parents were clearly abusing their children, while using their “religious beliefs”and parenting as excuses for their overly strict rules and expectations of them. I don’t know if any of you have thought about this but I think the reason they were forbidden to watch tv or play sports was because the parents likely knew if they watched kids on tv or spoke to teammates on a sports team they would figure out quickly that the life they were living wasn’t normal nor were a lot of the rules religious and non religious alike and would lead to them rebelling against the parents and questioning them and the life they were living. I’m not excusing what Jacob did because it’s inexcusable and why he also killed his younger brother I don’t understand, murder or not both parents were awful and abusive to those kids and the kids should have been taken from them after the show aired or in the very least someone should have issued welfare checks on the family.
The lady sounds like a malignant narcissist and they lives they were imposing on the boys while not completely the same it strikes me almost as a munchausen syndrome by proxy. It’s a different style of abuse but the mental effects and outcome seems to be much of the same.
@@HaileyDelaine I’ve speculated about those possibilities too, about the malignant narcissism and munchausen by proxy, from what I saw from watching the episode of wife swap and from hearing about the case it wouldn’t surprise me.
Morgan Thompson - yes without the ability to clinically diagnose it’s up to speculation, though I do think that if they broadened the definition of munchauen by proxy or even named a related disorder I think this would qualify. As the root of why perpetrators of munchauen’s by proxy do what they do is strikingly similar. The Parallels from say the gypsy rose case and this case and even the outcomes are similar. The power and control tactics these women utilized were very similar in nature. The root of why they implemented them are also very much the same. Power, control, accolades, dependence on them from the victims, a means to get recognition from their respective communities, validation for themselves of what great, self sacrificing, wonderful, fill in the blank …mothers they were.
@@HaileyDelaine this is very unlikely to be munchauen syndrome by proxy
The big difference is people with that condition try to fake illness or injuries to such a extreme extent to get attention they might for example poison their child with insulin to get sympathy
Or cut themselves/child with a knife so people become concerned about them
Kendall said the mom and James were shot and killed by a single gunshot. I couldn't tell if she meant one shot went through both of them, but either way, I wonder if James jumped in front of their mom when Jacob shot and accidentally killed his younger brother. And perhaps that is also why he tried to get himself afterward...? This entire thing is so sad.
The mom completely sheltered those boys from reality. They had no idea of what really living is. I imagine that when the swap happened, and Jacob realized how "imprisoned" they really were, he just snapped. I think that had they had more freedoms, it may not have happened. Truly a sad story. I wonder how the older boys are doing, living out in the real world.
I mean, some of the things she wanted from and for her kids were good ideas in principle.
Such as doing chores for rewards and family mealtimes, cleaning up after yourself, being respectful.
But the no snacks, no 'frivolous' internet use, no sports and some of the foods they had to eat, being told they'd burn in hell for playing video games... crazy.
I found it interesting that “debate lessons” were every day at 4pm, and the 911 call came in at 4:36pm
Makes me wonder if there’s a connection to whatever triggered him or made took him to his breaking point and being in an argumentative mindset at that point in time
@@samalalas good point
@@samalalas Your comment should be on the main thread! I'm glad I read the replies all the way to the bottom.
@@skylined5534 This woman had a really bad idea of keeping her kids from just growing up normal, she took that way too far my god! Her son snapped because he didn’t understand why he was not a normal kid! But literally telling them they would go to hell for watching tv, or playing video games seriously crazy Mom. She didn’t think that would come back on her? Just WOW 😮 I FEEL SORRY FOR THE KILLER?! That’s new for me!! Hardcore Justice I believe in! But this should have never happened. I always get Leary when parents homeschool their kids, just doesn’t seem right! Not for everyone
If the boys had to earn every reward, then what does Catherine bring to the table for her own rewards and luxuries?
I bet the double standards and hypocrisy were very real.
Did she rule her husband's life too? He was "free" roaming the country doing deliveries. He could have gotten "bad influence" too couldn't he?
I wish some parents could see that when they are restricting outside influence it doesn’t show proof of faith or goodness. It shows lack of faith and trust that your children will be able to face the world and navigate it with sound judgment.
That kind of parenting is 100% child abuse disguised as well-meaning when religion is involved. You can't expect your child to live in that kind of environment and be a well-adjusted adult when they go out into the world, as they should freely be able to do. I feel bad for all of those kids. I feel bad for the brother he killed too.
Raising kids like that & then sending them out into the real world when they're 18.... They would literally have no idea what to do. I'm a mother myself & I could never ever imagine doing that to my babies.
100%... horrifying.
It's tragic, but the mother seemed to treat her kids almost like robots. I truly wonder what kind of offspring she hoped to raise if they couldn't learn from being in the "outside" world, so that the boys could learn to engage successfully, etc and importantly learning from one's mistakes, ,(especially as teenagers/young adults?). You cannot really disengage from the world and be successful.
I am aware of so many situations like this & they almost nearly end badly in some way.
Even when religion is not involved, it's still extreme, and ultimately, the house of cards is doomed...
@@emily78910 It's horrible when I see parents booting their kids out right as they hit the legal minimum to do so, no idea how many homeless teenagers I've seen at this point.
Parents really strip all joy and personality from a child and get surprised when the breaking point hits every time. I’ll never understand it. My mom wasn’t perfect but jfc at least she knew I was a person.
Your one awesome story teller Kendall...i watch your story then i play it again & it puts me right to sleep..thats a compliment trust me! So i thank you
When I was a kid in middle school, our "baby" from health class was an egg...lol. So many of us took it seriously, making little cribs and clothes for our little egg babies...lol!