Wife Swap Murders - Did Strict Household Rules Lead to Murder?

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  • Опубліковано 8 тра 2022
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 5 тис.

  • @AngelicRamen
    @AngelicRamen 2 роки тому +10530

    This is beyond strict and is just abuse. Violence is never the answer, but abusing people to their breaking point will, well, break them.

    • @DavidKen878
      @DavidKen878 2 роки тому +69

      No one was being abused in this case.

    • @ashlynonline
      @ashlynonline 2 роки тому +563

      @@DavidKen878 they were so sheltered. They had no time to do anything they wanted to do, their parents didn’t give them an option

    • @ashlynonline
      @ashlynonline 2 роки тому +656

      @@DavidKen878 and the parents used scare tactics as a way to control their kids, saying they were going to hell just for playing video games or playing sports

    • @alexadiiii
      @alexadiiii 2 роки тому +705

      @@DavidKen878 This is absolutely emotional abuse.

    • @DavidKen878
      @DavidKen878 2 роки тому +28

      @@ashlynonline That's not abuse, that's called being religious. Do you call people who tell their children they'll go to hell if they don't go to church abusive?

  • @slangoognals
    @slangoognals 2 роки тому +3334

    "We don't see chores as slave labor" is a very weird thing to say unprovoked.
    This level of control is so deliberate and obsessive. It's not normal to think this hard about how to control your child.

    • @pazza4555
      @pazza4555 2 роки тому +70

      Never forget that everything you see on a reality show is crafted by the producers. Even direct quotes are responses to very specific questions, even down to coaching in how to phrase answers. I have no doubt that this was a mess of a family situation, but I wouldn't take specifics from the show too literally.

    • @slangoognals
      @slangoognals 2 роки тому +28

      @@pazza4555 That's true.

    • @Jillworrell22
      @Jillworrell22 2 роки тому +8

      I wonder if she had been mocked prior to this. Ppl complaining about the kids

    • @MoonbeamGardener
      @MoonbeamGardener 2 роки тому +62

      It sounds like something you would say if someone else has already called you out and compared your parenting style/chore schedule to slave labor...

    • @kirsten2769
      @kirsten2769 2 роки тому +42

      Burn in hell for video games, but double murder is forgivable. The value system is so bizarre.

  • @Sam-rz4rd
    @Sam-rz4rd 2 роки тому +2770

    I REALLLY try to refrain from judging a strangers parenting techniques, but damn.. the fear-mongering is hard to swallow. That kid literally thought he would end up in eternal hell for playing Mario cart? 😟

    • @l0verofallthings
      @l0verofallthings 2 роки тому +42

      right… so sad

    • @rose_quartz20
      @rose_quartz20 Рік тому +61

      Crazy how they thought they’d end up in hell for playing video games but then one of them decided to murder.... I think that’s the one that’ll send you to hell!

    • @amelialerch6537
      @amelialerch6537 Рік тому +91

      I feel like at a certain level of control it’s not “parenting choices” anymore. It’s just abusing children. The isolation and making them afraid to date or engage in leisure activities is really messed up and neglectful of their social and emotional health.

    • @OakwiseBecoming
      @OakwiseBecoming Рік тому +41

      Christians are like this. My mother wouldn’t let us watch Scooby Doo because ghosts = demons. She berated my father for watching Star Trek.

    • @thunderspikes4064
      @thunderspikes4064 Рік тому +5

      Never refrain it could save someone's life

  • @southernbelladonna78
    @southernbelladonna78 2 роки тому +1035

    I distinctly remember how traumatic the dating things was for the sons. They were literally having panic attacks at the thought of being encouraged to interact with girls. It was such a red flag.

  • @baileycarter1335
    @baileycarter1335 2 роки тому +9576

    I think what’s most bizarre is that she wouldn’t allow “outside influences” but literally allowed a TV show full of producers, cameramen, and a woman who was VERY different from them into their home.

    • @beccaleecardwell
      @beccaleecardwell 2 роки тому +1188

      They probably wanted fame for their family band.

    • @violetb2667
      @violetb2667 2 роки тому +853

      When she was introducing their family all she did was talk about the band and how she managed it. She didn’t give a crap about her children she just wanted to use and control them.

    • @mistybollinger3312
      @mistybollinger3312 2 роки тому +83

      Yea I thought the same thing

    • @BobHoss4
      @BobHoss4 2 роки тому +580

      Many times abusive, controlling/narcissistic parents want to let other people in to see what they’re doing in an attempt to show off what good work they’re doing. Parents like this woman think that what they’re doing is right and want to show it off to people who are “right minded“ like them

    • @merdoscooper3074
      @merdoscooper3074 2 роки тому +49

      @@BobHoss4 100%

  • @janewilson2421
    @janewilson2421 2 роки тому +2740

    Another example of why not everyone should have kids...

    • @cassie1264
      @cassie1264 2 роки тому +43

      Well, they also raised a doctor... It's hard to say why one kid could be raised under the same circumstances and become so successful and another ends up suicidal and homicidal.

    • @SplintersOfHope
      @SplintersOfHope 2 роки тому +296

      @@cassie1264 just becoming a doctor says nothing about their mental health

    • @cassie1264
      @cassie1264 2 роки тому

      @@SplintersOfHope the original comment says that these parents shouldn't have had kids. They had 2 sons that actually turned out quite successful. Having a mental illness doesn't mean you were abused or raised by unfit parents.

    • @kina18
      @kina18 2 роки тому +89

      @@SplintersOfHope right. My neighbor's son is a doctor. He's book smart af but he still needs his parents to manage the mundane details of life.

    • @wordivore
      @wordivore 2 роки тому +84

      @@cassie1264 I'm in agreement with the other two replies, BUT not all the kids experience the abuse in the same way. If you talk to say, 3 adult children of abusive parents, you'll get three different perspectives. As humans not only do we have our own separate perspectives of things but also the abusive parents treat each kid very differently.

  • @hannahdivic28
    @hannahdivic28 2 роки тому +734

    I grew up with a mom just like this one, and let me say, it DEFINITELY builds resentment and even pure hatred, creates depression and anxiety disorders, makes life a living hell. You have to re-learn EVERYTHING when you escape from the household, and the trauma of other kids/people bullying you for how you act because of how you were trained growing up is the icing on the cake road to deep sadness and insecurity. I can easily see how someone in that situation could be pushed over the edge and kill the parents. Fortunately, I have an amazing dad and I was exposed to ENOUGH of the outside world to know that I was missing out on something, even if I didn’t know what that something was. I ran away in the middle of the night from my mothers house and ran to my friends house where my dad picked me up. Haven’t spoken to my “mother” since and I don’t have any plans to. I have ptsd and intense anxiety and nightmares from my experiences living like this sheltered family home, and I hope more people learn that this is NOT the way to raise happy kids.

    • @1800PAlN
      @1800PAlN 2 роки тому +4

      i wish my story was more similar to yours.

    • @Rubycella
      @Rubycella 2 роки тому +1

      His mom sounds like a phycopath, smh band manager please. She is not a victim. She is the perpetrator in this. Evil.

    • @hannahdivic28
      @hannahdivic28 2 роки тому +23

      @@1800PAlN do you need help? Are you okay?

    • @hannahdivic28
      @hannahdivic28 2 роки тому +5

      @@Rubycella yep. Unfortunately some women out there are conditioned as children and then pass that abusive conditioning on to their kids. Shameful.

    • @1god2savem37
      @1god2savem37 Рік тому +2

      @@1800PAlN are you all right?

  • @mandszwane7544
    @mandszwane7544 Рік тому +595

    I feel sorry for the youngest brother, may his soul rest in peace.

    • @mortimerbrewster3671
      @mortimerbrewster3671 Рік тому +31

      If he had killed his mother only or her and his father I might have bought into the idea that it was the strict upbringing but killing the younger brother makes me think he was just a rotten apple. They happen in the best of families. The youngest brother's death is the greatest tragedy since it sounds like he had a strong head on his shoulders and a plan for his life.

    • @cmcordoYT
      @cmcordoYT Рік тому +18

      @@mortimerbrewster3671 Or, maybe, he feared more abuse from the father if the brother had to live with him after the murder of their mother. Also, he may have been afraid that little brother would go straight to hell if he left him alive to commit these sins that were impossible to not commit. This way, little brother goes straight to heaven since he was still so young.

    • @askauntyd9884
      @askauntyd9884 11 місяців тому +1

      @@cmcordoYT what if the little brother told mum he had been raping him for years so he killed mum & him to shut up.

    • @rinal1315
      @rinal1315 7 місяців тому

      @@askauntyd9884huh? Where did u get the raping from??

    • @Netti103
      @Netti103 6 місяців тому +1

      Yes! He was the rapist-that makes sense. You still have urges-taking them out on mom and the youngest makes sense. As a society, we NEED to be somewhat more open on a different level (not porn etc) but more REAL about young peoples urges. They are going to find a way to satisfy them. Also, there were cousins they were close to?? I wonder what they were like

  • @HannahTheHorrible
    @HannahTheHorrible 2 роки тому +9118

    She didn’t need to write out all those rules. She could have just said “no fun, no joy” and that would’ve covered it

  • @graceduheeley1961
    @graceduheeley1961 2 роки тому +5605

    interesting that someone who was sheltered from literally all violence (video games, tv, rap, etc.) could still commit such a violent crime.

    • @rosynessrose6556
      @rosynessrose6556 2 роки тому +440

      The irony

    • @michelemartin3642
      @michelemartin3642 2 роки тому +291

      Yes, so true and I think that shows these type of structures are not fit for the purpose and are rarely successful in raising kids (family, people, etc). If she had loosened the leash a bit, it might have been a different story perhaps? But there seemed to be a sense of fear, especially with regards to the mother, and her rules given without reasonable explanations and debate created a toxic situation. So the irony of their whole situation is not lost on most people ?

    • @Pulapaws
      @Pulapaws 2 роки тому +159

      There was a 4 year old in India in a small village that murder a baby, his cousin and a stranger baby which she didn’t cover the younger serial killer. There was no video or tv but this child was a true serial killer. He told cops hitting the baby in the head and killing it didn’t give him the same pleasure as killing his cousin not realizing baby that are super young don’t see danger or death coming as a older child do. It was chilling to hear child talk like a older serial killer that killed because he love to see another person in pain.
      What made his violent? I know people don’t want to believe it but there are some people that are just born wicked you can be a loving or a cold and it wouldn’t matter it rare but it do happen. It even happens in nature where some animals are just more aggressive and go on killing sprees even killing their own kind.

    • @jessrosefawkes2721
      @jessrosefawkes2721 2 роки тому +21

      Ironic as hell!

    • @mlbashanti8885
      @mlbashanti8885 2 роки тому +1

      @@michelemartin3642 no some people are just made to be killers. He's clearly psychotic, it's only on him and no one else.

  • @kaelarose9351
    @kaelarose9351 2 роки тому +524

    This is emotional abuse. I can’t stand when parents use the “your going to hell” as a tactic to control their kids.

    • @suzyq3771
      @suzyq3771 Рік тому +5

      I agree but why kill his brother.. just leave at 18!!

    • @Tuco_Salamanca3
      @Tuco_Salamanca3 Рік тому +17

      Suzy. I’m betting he didn’t want to leave the youngest brother alone with the parents when he left, and the only way out for them was to die together after taking out the mother for revenge. This is what happens when you abuse your kids

    • @Em_Elizabeth
      @Em_Elizabeth Рік тому +2

      That or threats of being "honor killed" for your sins. (Which is ironic, because murder is also a sin...🤔)

    • @monaliza3334
      @monaliza3334 10 місяців тому

      Chaos country USA.

    • @jessicapeace3981
      @jessicapeace3981 9 місяців тому +3

      I don't see how any parent can sleep at night putting that kind of fear into their children. I also believe it's harmful for parents to tell their children other people are going to hell for certain sins. Years ago, my son came home upset because a kid told him I was going to hell because I didn't take him to church to form a relationship with God. I believe I'm just not a fan of religion. It's just a mind f*ck all around and gives them a superior demeanor towards others.

  • @vinny1883
    @vinny1883 2 роки тому +889

    "Laurie actually called Catherine a terrible parent, which she was not too happy about" Laurie put it VERY nicely. I would've called her much worse.

    • @dvsdawl
      @dvsdawl Рік тому +18

      Let’s be clear- she wasn’t one to throw stones. Having your teenage daughters boyfriends live with you is pretty ridiculous. It’s like.. hey teen pregnancy comeeee on over!

    • @sugarpearl9781
      @sugarpearl9781 Рік тому +80

      @@dvsdawl That’s not usually how teen pregnancy happens.

    • @brt7721
      @brt7721 Рік тому +1

      @@dvsdawl you sound just as deranged and out of touch with reality as Catherine. Please don’t reproduce, but if you already have please see a psychiatrist. Also I’m assuming you didn’t pass 6th grade biology because that’s not how babies are made…

    • @allieofield9588
      @allieofield9588 Рік тому +52

      @@dvsdawl but you don’t know the situation the boyfriend was in. he most likely needed a place to stay and they offered him one. most likely

    • @shanagoodman31
      @shanagoodman31 6 місяців тому

      @@sugarpearl9781 not usually, but almost guaranteed.

  • @tarotgirl315
    @tarotgirl315 2 роки тому +2094

    I went to a private Christian school for a few years as a teen. (I was a rebellious kid so my parents sent me there). And I come from a pretty relaxed household. How strict some parents were and out of touch with the outside world some of the other students were was mind blowing.
    After graduation a lot of students had severe breakdowns. Addiction ridden, a few took their own lives from inability to handle the real world and lived risky lifestyles because they were so sheltered. It was really sad to see.
    Sheltering can be really dangerous.
    :/

    • @MrIlleatyourcookies
      @MrIlleatyourcookies 2 роки тому +116

      for sure, these kids often spiral out of control, either because they can't handle the real world, or because they want to try it all but don't know how to do it safely or without going overboard

    • @taliaryn3699
      @taliaryn3699 2 роки тому +39

      I had a similar experience to you. Crazy how strict some parents were. It was sad

    • @whims6278
      @whims6278 2 роки тому +49

      THIS 🙌 I also went to Catholic school for over a decade, and just like you said all of the girls who were super sheltered went to college and went absolutely crazy, Because they'd never experienced freedom before, myself included. And when you're taught that everything is a sin and everything is taboo it just makes you more curious about it when it's been kept from you your whole life

    • @HeidiSue60
      @HeidiSue60 2 роки тому +20

      We homeschooled with a pretty strict mindset for a few months, then drifted naturally towards "Unschooling" where all of life is treated as a lesson and I let my kids follow their own interests and passions. but we were on the edge of this strict homeschooling for a while and we knew more than one family in that strict category where the kids went nuts as soon as they hit college age. They had no capacity for dealing with real life. Suicide attempts, drug use, complete lack of sexual inhibitions...life-wrecking stuff.
      In fact, another homeschooling family who weren't weird about contact with the outside world were still very strict with their kids and I watched their son blow a full ride scholarship by playing computer games with his buddies all day, every day...lost a scholarship and became a used care salesman LOL but I highly admired that family because their kids were so well-behaved...until they got freedom. So, hyper strictness is a huge issue. Creates troubled kids who grow into troubled adults.

    • @CosmicEremite
      @CosmicEremite 2 роки тому +26

      I agree. I was very sheltered and my parents were really overprotective. I moved halfway across the country for college. Never been independent in any way before and my parents did NOT teach me how to adult. Started drinking a drugging, dropped out, and almost unalved myself many times. And parents are usually completely clueless about anything they did may have led to that point. I know what its like to realize that your parents would be absolutely incapable of helping you, even if they wanted to.

  • @lindseyherzog4638
    @lindseyherzog4638 2 роки тому +2432

    Interesting how the mother won't allow television for her children yet decided to put her whole family on a reality tv series?? Said she doesn't want the modern outside influences but invites a camera crew over. She clearly is watching tv and knows about the show.

    • @marymartindale884
      @marymartindale884 2 роки тому +131

      good point

    • @emilybunny_beauty1291
      @emilybunny_beauty1291 2 роки тому +246

      Probably using it as a way to spread her religion to the unbelievers

    • @Thenailtrap
      @Thenailtrap 2 роки тому +1

      Right

    • @shearrermadness
      @shearrermadness 2 роки тому +11

      I thought the same thing.

    • @stacin821
      @stacin821 2 роки тому +163

      @@emilybunny_beauty1291 or she was trying to get their band on TV & get famous. Also, I'm curious how much of that show is real & how much is played up for TV. Producers love to stir stuff up for good TV

  • @alaiciaredhail7678
    @alaiciaredhail7678 Рік тому +279

    I feel like there was abuse of all kinds happening in the house. I get wanting to protect your kids but she was straight controlling EVERY aspect of their lives.

  • @annlarsen8999
    @annlarsen8999 Рік тому +272

    This reminds me of an extreme case of when sheltered students go to college and taste freedom they never have. They can be unprepared for the pressures of the ‘outside world’. Parents should always be preparing their children for the next step in life and putting them in a bubble does more harm than good.

    • @mariatennery5783
      @mariatennery5783 Рік тому +19

      There is a quote I saw somewhere "we are not raising children we are raising adults" You are supposed to prepare your kids for the outside world and how to live a life without you in charge of them this strict style of parenting leaves them completely unprepared and also doesn't protect them from bad influences they are more likely to be influenced by people as they have been their whole life

    • @radio_obscura
      @radio_obscura Рік тому +13

      My parents sheltered me, and honestly, it probably turned me into an above-average liar and manipulator. I still got my hands on everything I wanted to. Said "No" to the stuff I knew would kill me. They should've had more faith in me.

  • @temp_unknown
    @temp_unknown 2 роки тому +1107

    Not trying to excuse anything, but if you squeeze your children so hard trying to keep a hold on them, eventually they'll pop. This was avoidable.

    • @deannaduarte7910
      @deannaduarte7910 2 роки тому +17

      I agree!! I don't condone murder whatsoever but I see where he snapped

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому

      Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?

    • @temp_unknown
      @temp_unknown 2 роки тому +33

      @@justme240 The same reason all abused people don't go on to abuse. There's something, either internal or external, that sets those who choose violence apart. I've mentioned this in other true crime videos.

    • @Kate-n2310
      @Kate-n2310 2 роки тому +3

      @Butwhythough it’s been proven time & time again.

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому

      @@temp_unknown Thank you. At least you answered correctly!

  • @jessicayoung6208
    @jessicayoung6208 2 роки тому +2511

    Honestly this doesn’t surprise me. These parents weren’t just strict, they were abusive. Mentally and emotionally abusive. When you try to control another person like this and break them down of everything that makes them an individual eventually that person is going to snap. And honestly I’m sorry this happened but I see why it happened and I really hope that Jacob is able to move forward and live his life when he leaves prison. I feel like in many ways he’s a victim too.

    • @bellezanegra0206
      @bellezanegra0206 2 роки тому +49

      His younger brother didn’t abuse him. He didn’t have to kill him or anyone else. He had access to a gun, he could’ve used that to keep them from stopping him from running away. You can’t say you were held against your will when you had access to a gun

    • @bozydrea4718
      @bozydrea4718 2 роки тому +4

      @@bellezanegra0206 makes sense

    • @bunnymad5049
      @bunnymad5049 2 роки тому +168

      @@bellezanegra0206 Then you do not understand the nature of abuse or how control shapes a mind.

    • @nataliefox916
      @nataliefox916 2 роки тому +135

      @@bunnymad5049 Agree. I don't think you're making logical decisions when you're raised in this way. Maybe in his head he was saving him and his brother :/

    • @advena996
      @advena996 2 роки тому +49

      Absolutely- I was going to say I think "strict" doesn't cover this situation. "Strict" is having high standards for academics, behaving politely, etc. Strict is what parents do when they are really worried about their kid being "successful" in life. This is just abuse.

  • @willzkillzz
    @willzkillzz Рік тому +193

    Parents like this drive me nuts, my parents were culty Christians and I remember as a young child having extreme guilt, shame and the belief I would burn in hell and it's so sad to look back on, I am thankful every day they got divorced when I wasn't very old because it knocked them out of it, pushed them away from the church and made my life so much better. I was allowed to believe in Santa, go trick or treating, listen to non Christian music, watch Harry Potter, etc. If they didn't get divorced I think I wouldn't have even had the little bits of childhood I do look back on fondly today, and I don't believe I would have came out to my family, or told anyone when I was raped (I would have believed those things made me a sinner and a product of the devil). Strict, hardcore religious parenting is traumatizing for children, and it won't make them any less who they are, in fact it'll probably drive out the worst parts of them due to repression and guilt. Religious abuse is a very real and dangerous thing.

    • @Uchiha.Itachii
      @Uchiha.Itachii Рік тому +12

      So true. Some people don’t understand what living in these households can be like and how it can make someone do what he did..

  • @misse2013
    @misse2013 2 роки тому +1964

    I was raised in a very strict Christian environment, went to a strict church, and I met several families along the way who were as strict as the Stockdale family. I'm now in my 30's and I can see how the kids turned out... I can honestly say that THIS IS NOT GOOD!!! SO MANY of them ended up on drugs. Some of them turned out ok, but it just seems like they carry a sadness with them. Not a single person turned out to live a life that makes me want to raise my kids this way.
    People need to stop f*ing with kids' minds and just let them live!

    • @alanaaababy
      @alanaaababy 2 роки тому +90

      Yes! I agree. Kids need self expression, they need to be able to learn hard lessons, they need to be in the real world, they need to learn social norms, they need to learn who they are and what they like and don’t like. I could go on and on with that, but what it boils down to is that those kids did not have a normal or healthy upbringing. And it’s no wonder it drove one of them over the edge. Very sad.

    • @naomim66
      @naomim66 2 роки тому +7

      !!!!

    • @danielalange9459
      @danielalange9459 2 роки тому +7

      Amen!!!

    • @deirdresmith7314
      @deirdresmith7314 2 роки тому +21

      Turned out ok... On the outside.

    • @nardinadeleon
      @nardinadeleon 2 роки тому +6

      That is so terribly sad.

  • @vickymazzotta3584
    @vickymazzotta3584 2 роки тому +3882

    He’ll be more free in prison than he ever was at home! This level of strict parenting is abusive and extremely unhealthy!

    • @ashleenacole6299
      @ashleenacole6299 2 роки тому +82

      sad but so true

    • @neverthesame7887
      @neverthesame7887 2 роки тому

      To Vicky M, i think prison is going to put Jacob over the edge. He's not street savvy, he's not an ex con, he's a murderer, yes, but not from LIFE , but from his mother's own mental illness which yes, I think she was mentally ill in many respects. Prison is a horror show (and this is a personal statement) for most men who've been through imo, some of the worst things life has to offer and yet even THEY have an extremely hard time dealing with life in jail. Can you imagine what this is going to do to Jacob?

    • @mlbashanti8885
      @mlbashanti8885 2 роки тому +6

      How's it abusive?

    • @Canthereoup
      @Canthereoup 2 роки тому +162

      @@mlbashanti8885 how? this case proves how it is abusive.

    • @catwithevilintentions2632
      @catwithevilintentions2632 2 роки тому +157

      @@mlbashanti8885 I think it's a form of mental abuse. And if not, then it should be considered that. Isolation is bad for someone's well-being.

  • @k-avocado395
    @k-avocado395 Рік тому +141

    My gut tells me he did suffer from some form of mental illness but his parents strike me as the type to either dismiss things like that or think “praying” it away will help🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @terrealcee
      @terrealcee 10 місяців тому +1

      Right. To me if it was only because of his mothers "controlling them" as many have said, wouldnt he have only shot his mother? He shot his little brother aswell. So it really just weighs on him and his bad deed, and seems less likely the mom's fault as many jumped to.

    • @TheOriginalCK
      @TheOriginalCK 10 місяців тому +8

      ​@@terrealcee There have been people saying that he mistook his younger brother as his father. Either way: a mental illness doesn't just make you a killer, as many people still believe. (Which is a harmful ableist belief). So yes, the parents are absolutely at fault for this. They were controlling and fear mongering.
      It's horrible, and he shouldn't have done what he did. But it's also a crime to torment your children like those parents did.

  • @Cita_Mortician
    @Cita_Mortician Рік тому +126

    I feel so bad for Jacob and his brothers. The abuse they suffered was an unnecessary evil at the hands of their overbearing and cruel parents. They were raised in a prison-like setting and it’s sad to say he’ll probably have more freedom now that he’s an actual prison.

  • @Foxy-vk7zd
    @Foxy-vk7zd 2 роки тому +3515

    The mom actually reminds me of a cult leader. She isolated her children from outside influences, super religious, very strict, and her most important rule being (basically) just do as I say and don't question it.

    • @QueerFrogRabbit
      @QueerFrogRabbit 2 роки тому +154

      That's exactly what she was. She just liked being in control of EVERYTHING. Using religion and discipline as an excuse to keep her sons on a leash. This isn't caring or loving or even disciplined... disgusting.

    • @bigpun7916
      @bigpun7916 2 роки тому +72

      Exactly what she was ! In a way she destroyed herself , she provided her own means of destruction , by mentally abusing her child to the point he turned on her , it like some guy abusing his pitbull to make it vicious but then is shocked when it turns on him or a family member.

    • @JackalBlack
      @JackalBlack 2 роки тому +6

      If she had let the kid do whatever he wanted it would have turned out the exact same way. Maybe worse. His upbringing had nothing to do with it and if it did then ALL of her children would have been deviants. Rather, they are well liked and respected members of their community....

    • @JackalBlack
      @JackalBlack 2 роки тому +2

      @Dani Phillips I agree Dani. Our minds try and find the quickest and easiest solution. This video kinda guided everyone to the same conclusion (in my opinion). Still an enjoyable video though. Anyways, take care and thank you!

    • @bigpun7916
      @bigpun7916 2 роки тому +24

      @@JackalBlack you do have a point , but that mother was too much , the kid couldn't take much more and snapped ! ..yeah he is no hero ..FACT many serial killers had over bearing mothers like that .
      The movie PHYCO for example hits pretty close to the mark ! That kid will forever hear his mother's voice barking comamds at him in a mental hospital .

  • @kikimincksroten4828
    @kikimincksroten4828 2 роки тому +1332

    Stark county resident here. This family was actually one of my best friend's neighbors growing up. We would constantly try and get their attention when we were in HS, because honestly, they weren't "bad looking" by any means, and we were teenage girls. They would perform at the Strawberry festival every year and sold their CDs, etc and we would try to flirt. Mom was always so weird and glared at everyone and she would yell at them to stay on their property. As an adult, I moved slightly North to the more "city" area, but when this story broke, it shook our entire community. I couldn't sleep for days it was so disturbing. Jacob was so cute with such a happy smile. You just never really know what's going on behind closed doors.

    • @jherlenecargill4081
      @jherlenecargill4081 2 роки тому +56

      I am so sorry this was so close to home for you. I cannot imagine how harrowing it was to find out about this. Did the mom seem very controlling? And what about the dad?

    • @kikimincksroten4828
      @kikimincksroten4828 2 роки тому +99

      @@jherlenecargill4081 they were always very nice. Mom seemed the judgy type but tbh they kept to themselves. Same with dad. Sure they seemed odd, but our lives were just different 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @aliciadaugherty9252
      @aliciadaugherty9252 2 роки тому +92

      I lived in Bolivar when this happened and knew this family (not well) but we knew them. I remember them at the Strawberry festival they were one of my favorites every year because my grandpa loved bluegrass music. I do find it strange that Tim still lives on the property. I am not sure that I could live on the property that my family was killed on by my son. It is a shame. Truly a sad story

    • @TheOtherSideOfAlice
      @TheOtherSideOfAlice 2 роки тому +52

      Yea everyone’s home life is different but we’d shouldn’t mix different with straight out abuse and manipulation

    • @c.m.brodriguez9402
      @c.m.brodriguez9402 2 роки тому +3

      Oh wow, that's so crazy girl!

  • @kari8187
    @kari8187 2 роки тому +131

    Psychological and emotional abuse is not the same as being strict. This lady was a controlling woman that looked at her kids as help and not children. They pretended it was the dust bowl times and only the children could keep the family afloat. Bubble brain mentality never ends well. So damn sad for all of them.

  • @KittyCat260
    @KittyCat260 2 роки тому +170

    I can't help but wonder what made their mother agree to be on Wife Swap in the first place. For someone who wanted nothing to do with the world of TV, technology and unwholesome music, it seems bizarre that she let her life be taken over by a TV crew and another woman to enter her home to change the rules after one week. She was never going to achieve anything other than giving her sons a glimpse at the real world. It's likely that this was the start of Jacob's issues.

    • @kelligillum3230
      @kelligillum3230 2 роки тому +70

      I think for her it was two fold. As the band manager, it’s publicity. As a controlling, abusive POS, it was the chance to potentially control someone else’s children too.

    • @nickis429
      @nickis429 Рік тому +59

      She thought she was on to something. She thought she was an amazing parent for providing this life for her children. She wanted recognition for her awesome parenting choices.

    • @tanschi8449
      @tanschi8449 Рік тому +23

      I'm guessing that as a "good christian wife" she followed her husband's instructions to a T. She probably wouldn't have loved to leave the house. She was a homemaker and the dad probably told her to go, so she went. They possibly needed the money and they thought spreading their way of life would be testimony of God's work or something

    • @Ichigo-dh9rd
      @Ichigo-dh9rd Рік тому +10

      money and exposure probably

    • @jodiemcgee8428
      @jodiemcgee8428 Рік тому +4

      Probably for money

  • @emmywemi
    @emmywemi 2 роки тому +3262

    This is not "strict", this is abuse on par with a cult. The parents are 100% responsible for the death of that poor boy and forcing Jacob to commit such an act. I hope he is able to heal from the trauma his parents caused and is able to start living his life once he is out of prison.

    • @siennad587
      @siennad587 2 роки тому +61

      Still didn’t need to murder ppl. The simpimg for murderers is incredible creepy. You may want to see a therapist.

    • @string-cheese
      @string-cheese 2 роки тому +278

      @@siennad587 u clearly have no idea what the word simp means lol

    • @littlep420
      @littlep420 2 роки тому +133

      @@siennad587 they have a good point , doesn’t mean they are simping for the murderer

    • @ravengyal
      @ravengyal 2 роки тому +50

      That would be true … if we weren’t talking about a 25 year old man. I understand the conditioning, and maybe he didn’t see leaving as an option for him. But he’s still old enough to know that murder isn’t the answer. He spent his whole life under the rules of his parents, now he’ll spend the rest under the rules of the state. Didn’t think that one through!

    • @hollydaugherty2620
      @hollydaugherty2620 2 роки тому

      @@siennad587 You don’t know what that word means. And they did not excuse murder. Are you illiterate?

  • @cmc1307
    @cmc1307 2 роки тому +858

    Just a side note- Catherine’s grammar in that rule book was atrocious; she was not in the position to be teaching anyone else

    • @kaitlinagens9023
      @kaitlinagens9023 2 роки тому +47

      THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one who noticed 😂

    • @EllaJay
      @EllaJay 2 роки тому +19

      Her rules were psycho but her grammar seemed fine tbh. Unless I missed something..

    • @Truebeauty209
      @Truebeauty209 2 роки тому +6

      @@EllaJay yeah I went back to read it and maybe I missed something too

    • @pazza4555
      @pazza4555 2 роки тому +7

      The producers write the rule books, not the participants. They exaggerate what is useful to them too.

    • @kimbervoss3753
      @kimbervoss3753 2 роки тому +4

      I thought the rule book was decently written..the punctuation was perfect which leads me to believe she didn't write is completely by herself..

  • @JaredTVW
    @JaredTVW 2 роки тому +89

    I lived with very strict parenting in high school. I can say, if I had not left when I did, if I lived with my strict parents until I was 25, I feel I could have snapped. Perhaps he felt a different pressure, his two older brothers left the house and perhaps the parents put more pressure on him to stay or perhaps he felt guilty leaving. All I can say is this is so sad.

    • @Noneck1999
      @Noneck1999 Рік тому +1

      Well he was only 15 at the time of the show. I was raised strict too which made me a more lax parent. I didn’t want my kids to feel like I did growing up, But they do bring something to the table, they have jobs ect.

  • @samonelly4813
    @samonelly4813 2 роки тому +70

    Without the tv show wife swap we may have never been aware of how strict their upbringing was

  • @marbles9176
    @marbles9176 2 роки тому +679

    I understand having a set time for meals when you have a bunch of kids but charging them a late fee for food sounds almost sadistic to do to someone who’s still learning how the world works.

    • @marbles9176
      @marbles9176 2 роки тому +19

      @nicole elizabeth exactly like when i moved out i ate quesadillas at 3am bc id be either studying or out with my friends

  • @sisterseverus
    @sisterseverus 2 роки тому +841

    The Dad forgives him because he knows that his and the mom's abusive parenting drove him to this (and is just happy he wasn't home at the time). The brothers forgive him because they experienced the same abuse, understood how he was suffering, and where able to escape.

    • @bunnymad5049
      @bunnymad5049 2 роки тому +72

      My surprise was that they brought them up afraid to play video games "or you'll go to hell" ... but murder two people and "can we have the lightest possible sentence?" ... I suspect you are right.

    • @Tw0Dots
      @Tw0Dots 2 роки тому +24

      @@bunnymad5049 but “video games cause violence”
      He never even played them & yet still managed to kill someone. Interesting.

    • @bunnymad5049
      @bunnymad5049 2 роки тому +2

      @@Tw0Dots Unsure if you're just doing a general quote or think I said it? Personally, I think it's complex and that for some people, video games (psychology has shown) they can influence, however, of course they won't influence everyone depending on all kinds of reasons that are so uniquely individual. But, yeah - you're right. It doesn't take video games to cause violence at all. Our nature is enough. For people who think they do in a "blanket" way - I wonder if they thought Caesar, Stalin, Hitler, Ilse Koch etc, were time travellers ... hehe

    • @sammithompson701
      @sammithompson701 2 роки тому +23

      Totally agree that if the dad was home, he would have been killed also. I wonder if James was killed in place of the dad or it was a ‘mercy killing’ so James didn’t have to suffer anymore or something like that?

    • @torikajackson
      @torikajackson 2 роки тому +2

      @@sammithompson701 i’m just sus as to why the son waited to kill his family after his dad left. i don’t know maybe just me.

  • @Rachel-xu4br
    @Rachel-xu4br Рік тому +84

    I believe he snapped (and/or realized his mom was a cult leader basically) and his target was her, but the brother got in the way. Since you said there was only one bullet that went through them I'm assuming his brother either purposely protected her, or got caught in the middle somehow. I really can't see why he'd want to shoot him too.

    • @_Y.Not_
      @_Y.Not_ Рік тому +24

      At first I took it the way you did, 1 bullet for 2 of them but it was 2 people each shot once, it was just phrased very awkwardly

  • @astrowolvez
    @astrowolvez 2 роки тому +45

    God imagine what other emotional manipulation they went through if they’re told you’ll go to hell for simply playing video games and you’re so scared you cry!

  • @ebonyloveivory
    @ebonyloveivory 2 роки тому +910

    The fact that she had to preface the paragraph with "we do not look at chores as free slave labour" already means she does.💁🏻‍♀️😬😱

    • @videogamegurl96
      @videogamegurl96 2 роки тому +31

      That’s what I said; It sounds like something you would say when you in fact DO that!

    • @EllaDarkRose
      @EllaDarkRose Рік тому +8

      Thought the exact same thing

    • @juliasalisbury890
      @juliasalisbury890 Рік тому +12

      Yes! What a strange statement.

    • @brontesegard8305
      @brontesegard8305 Рік тому +3

      That's the 1st thing I thought!

  • @Gaibreel
    @Gaibreel 2 роки тому +2147

    I feel so bad for Jacob and James. Notice how the oldest son didn't even say a word about his mom? Really says a lot. I'm sure a lot worse happened behind closed doors such as physical abuse. All those boys were handsome. It's just so sad. I feel kinda down now 😕

    • @samonelly4813
      @samonelly4813 2 роки тому +188

      Yeah I really do think there was physical abuse. The boys weren’t allowed to make any mistakes:(

    • @ashleenacole6299
      @ashleenacole6299 2 роки тому +32

      extremely handsome

    • @rage_188
      @rage_188 2 роки тому +175

      Not too sure what their looks have to do with literally anything... That's a weird comment

    • @erinnhodge1787
      @erinnhodge1787 2 роки тому +31

      @@rage_188 I think it's a way to implicate there may have been way more abuse than just physical and emotional. That woman had a firm grip on those poor boys entire being.

    • @leiajiang7877
      @leiajiang7877 Рік тому +16

      @@samonelly4813 emotional abuse is so much worse but physical abuse is probably there.

  • @paytoncumming7467
    @paytoncumming7467 7 місяців тому +83

    Can you imagine how much more strict Katherine and Tim would've been on their kids if they had daughters?
    They wouldn't have been allowed to:
    1. Wear makeup
    2. Style, dye or highlight their hair
    3. Wear pants, they would've only been allowed to wear skirts and dresses.
    4. Date, just like the boys
    5. Do their nails or do any type of skin care routine
    6. Even if they were allowed to only wear skirts and dresses, they couldn't be above the knee.
    7. They wouldn't have been allowed to talk about or be given the sex talk or the conversation about puberty because it's 'sinful'.
    Honestly, Katherine was a terrible parent.

  • @Mavis308
    @Mavis308 2 роки тому +51

    Let’s hope that the 2 oldest Stockdale boys doesn’t do this to their children. Let’s hope they learn that being too strict and controlling could lead to tragedy as it did in this family. A mother and brother dead and a son doing 30 to life in prison.

  • @heidimedel
    @heidimedel 2 роки тому +50

    I grew up with a super strict parent in a cult. I can relate to everything but the murdering part.
    They really stunt our emotional and mental growth.

  • @sarakat3707
    @sarakat3707 2 роки тому +867

    Calvin's statement was really telling, only kind words about James and nothing about Katherine

    • @missygonzales4790
      @missygonzales4790 2 роки тому +157

      yes i noticed that too. they were not mad at him for killing their mom but only hurt that they lost their other brother.

    • @SamIAmB
      @SamIAmB 2 роки тому +28

      People like this tend to not, "spare the rod.." if you get my meaning.

    • @haley2684
      @haley2684 2 роки тому +46

      Wow, so true. Didn't realize that until your comment. I wonder what made him not mention anything about his mother, and the fact that they were all so forgiving of Jacob might be saying something deeper.

    • @kc7903
      @kc7903 2 роки тому +14

      @@missygonzales4790 yeah that’s the part I can’t get over. I think I’d be more understanding had he not of killed his brother… I just don’t understand why he’d kill the little brother and not specifically the parents if it was about the abuse.

    • @katwebbxo
      @katwebbxo 2 роки тому +18

      @@kc7903 Same. I wonder if perhaps he thought he was saving him or sparing him from going down the same path like he did. So he wouldn't have to deal with the same struggle.

  • @sagekeebaugh2397
    @sagekeebaugh2397 2 роки тому +574

    To me, it sounded like that mom was almost trying to turn her family into a little cult.

    • @2000firegirl
      @2000firegirl 2 роки тому

      A straight up cult

    • @briarchambliss
      @briarchambliss 2 роки тому +38

      yeah her rules are very much the same as cults, telling them they'll burn in hell for this, discouraged from leaving, controlling information by funneling it through one channel. just gross

    • @michellediduch2955
      @michellediduch2955 2 роки тому +7

      Yes, that's what I felt too!

    • @sagekeebaugh2397
      @sagekeebaugh2397 2 роки тому +8

      @@briarchambliss Yes, exactly! That's what I kept thinking, with all those things she made them fear, and made them do

    • @opulenttinglesasmr789
      @opulenttinglesasmr789 2 роки тому +14

      They were probably a part of some fundamentalist Christian sect. Trust, those are very prevalent in rural and southern communities still.

  • @IzabellaHope
    @IzabellaHope 2 роки тому +42

    This reminds me a lot of the menendez brothers, the parents push their kids to a breaking point and then they act out violently. We see it time and time again. Gypsy rose did the same thing.

    • @bohkhuj9247
      @bohkhuj9247 Рік тому +4

      The menedez brothers was just greedy .

  • @livilivinglife
    @livilivinglife 2 роки тому +19

    You can't shelter your children this harshly. I grew up in a home like this but more strict and Mormon, we were locked in our rooms for 3 years. He may have felt it was his only escape. I almost jumped off a 2 story house to get away but my adoptive mother put locks on the windows. We had room inspections and we never passed no matter how hard we tried or cleaned. You had to pass to leave the room. Thank God my sister got us out of there by telling a friend whose dad was a cop about our abuse. We were removed the last day of school and put in an orphanage and I spent 13 to 18 years of age in hundreds of foster homes.
    I mourn the lives he took but I also mourn for him. We had the nice family photos the wonderful vacations to keep us quiet. No one would have ever known our perfect family was really effed up.

  • @ketsueki
    @ketsueki 2 роки тому +856

    When the mom said she liked homeschooling them because she could control them, I was immediately like well yeah you control every single else they do, of course you like that you can control their schooling too.

    • @WireWiki
      @WireWiki 2 роки тому +28

      I'm wondering what the religion based home schooling was like and what a shock going to college must have been. I'm wondering if studying to become a doctor at college for him had to start with 8th grade biology.

    • @Lady.Fern.
      @Lady.Fern. 2 роки тому +17

      Shocking to me she would choose to be on a show where someone else comes in to parent her kids for a bit, sounds like something she would be dead against

    • @lunaedward6574
      @lunaedward6574 2 роки тому +3

      I'm taking you're a fan of the public school system.

    • @lalaycoco9467
      @lalaycoco9467 2 роки тому +10

      That’s not even the point Kentsueki. She was controlling and abusive in ALL aspects of these children’s life. She held them hostage and she deserved to be thrown in jail had she not been taken out of the game permanently.

    • @920WASHBURN
      @920WASHBURN 2 роки тому +5

      Every parent should control their kids schooling

  • @theredqveen
    @theredqveen 2 роки тому +458

    you don't teach respect by treating your kids like slaves. those parents are insane.

  • @jaredvr
    @jaredvr 2 роки тому +37

    I feel so bad for him. His mind was broken by his own parents, ridiculously strict and religious. He probably felt like drowning.
    And who knows what other crazy things their parents did to them.

  • @bridgetwilliams5231
    @bridgetwilliams5231 Рік тому +15

    She kept them isolated with no socialization outside the family. That would make anyone crazy. I feel bad for the younger brother.

    • @PrincessofKeys
      @PrincessofKeys Рік тому +1

      Apparently so, I did read another comment from some saying they were raised in a strict family as well. Once they were on their own they went crazy and did things they wanted before becoming depressed or something.
      Basically people rrally do need to let their kids have some freedom to do things they want it's good for their health and wellbeing.

  • @MoonbeamGardener
    @MoonbeamGardener 2 роки тому +781

    I was a bit disturbed and unsettled about this family well before you got to the actual murder part of the story. I'm not denying that the parents probably loved their children, but their method of parenting was on par with the type of mentality that I associate with a cult. I get wanting to 'shelter' your kids from so many of the things in the world, but you have to allow for some degrees of exposure or you risk them having horrible culture shock when they grow up and actually set out on their own... I'm not condoning violence, but I can see how a child raised like this might crack and have some sort of crisis.

    • @prettyinpinky5937
      @prettyinpinky5937 2 роки тому

      No they didn’t love them, their kids were trophies and money making objects and free farm labourers.
      Edit: wasn’t sheltering, it was them isolating them so they don’t rebel.

    • @elsafrozen7506
      @elsafrozen7506 2 роки тому +36

      I do not believe that these people loved their children

    • @herronml86
      @herronml86 2 роки тому +13

      @@elsafrozen7506 me either. 😔

    • @Tw0Dots
      @Tw0Dots 2 роки тому +8

      Doesnt seem like they loved them to me 🤷‍♂️

    • @wminal
      @wminal 2 роки тому +1

      YES, this 100%

  • @mawithaxdd
    @mawithaxdd 2 роки тому +587

    This is abuse. Children thrive on structure and routine, but there is such a thing as too much of it. These children were raised like military soldiers and I feel terrible for them.

    • @mamabearp2301
      @mamabearp2301 2 роки тому +57

      Military soldiers have more freedom than these kids did.

    • @JenJen0582
      @JenJen0582 2 роки тому +12

      Military soldiers are treated better than that

    • @lalaycoco9467
      @lalaycoco9467 2 роки тому +6

      Exactly. She got what was coming to her.

    • @hyena964
      @hyena964 2 роки тому

      With zero combat training 🤣

    • @annetterobinson4358
      @annetterobinson4358 2 роки тому +1

      As a veteran, I can tell you that soldiers have far more independence than these kids.

  • @lobee77
    @lobee77 2 роки тому +24

    100% those parents, especially the mother, abused those children. They didn’t let them be their own person. Have any sort of life. Nothing.

  • @shawnessemarie
    @shawnessemarie Рік тому +31

    Sadly this situation hits home with me . With my step mom and dad I wasn’t aloud to have snack or drinks other then meal time I got less to eat and was always still hungry and thirsty . Even going to the extent of drinking out of the sink and shower . I wasn’t aloud to have fun breakfast meals like my step siblings. I was to eat plain Cheerios everyday and if I didn’t eat them all , they were to be put In the fridge to eat the next morning . Also mind you my step siblings and dad and step mom would eat eggs and good cereal and French toast etc . I had to watch them eat that and even watch them cook it and not enjoy it with them . I also had very very strict chores to do everyday and wasn’t able to play outside . I was only aloud to do my chores read and do school work which she also made me do school work she made up as well after my home work . I wasn’t aloud to watch tv with the family . I was able to play sports or stay with friends the only friends I had was at school and she would cut my hair like a boy and dress me like a old lady . Which I got made fun of . I got beat for things my siblings did . I literally could go on for days . I was so terrified to them I didn’t want to live with them I waited until my mom and grandparents were dropping me to tell them , in fear I would be beaten . I was then sat outside the day my mom came and got me at age 9 outside by myself for 12 hours in the middle of summer with no food or drinks home alone . Since they were so mad I was leaving and knew I was going to tell people the truth what they did . I still don’t have a good relationship with them I forgave them but they aren’t loving people . This is hard for me to share but I truly hope it helps people . I went through so much more but it would take forever to type . Don’t ever treat you kids this way . I’m still messed up from this I’ve been in counseling my whole life from it and still can’t fix it . I ask my husband which I also use to ask my mom for food and drinks when I wanted something and when I still do . It truly messed me up ! People don’t realize how it can easily mess up a kids life ! I am now a mom of two and I promise you I will never forget to make sure they feel loved or ever go a day hungry or thirsty ! Those are our babies we have to protect them ! If you don’t want kids and treat them the right way people shouldn’t have them . I also reported this to the cops with my mom and the courts and nothing was done sadly ! I would go to school with welts and bruises on me and my teachers even called them for me . Nothing was ever done . If you see someone going through a situation like this please please don’t give up and get them help because I promise you it’s a lot worse than you can imagine typically and they are going to be messed up from it .

  • @totes_muhh_goats
    @totes_muhh_goats 2 роки тому +1907

    I honestly feel bad for him. His mother broke him. I'm shocked the family still supported Jacob considering. The wildest part is the other mom knew it was Jacob when she heard the news. Just based on that brief time she spent with their family.

    • @hc125
      @hc125 2 роки тому +250

      I do too. Extreme parenting in any direction will yield bad results. Horrific ! I remember their episode & that other mom wanted to fight for them back then. She knew it wasn't okay. Her mother's intuition was going off big time.

    • @Psichotica7
      @Psichotica7 2 роки тому +130

      Wow. That is very telling and very sad that she knew. Thanks for sharing that. Wish Kendall included that. Wow.

    • @Tw0Dots
      @Tw0Dots 2 роки тому +37

      Guess he was coming off as more crazy weird than the rest of his weird & crazy family. Red flags gave her the hint.

    • @kbleu5910
      @kbleu5910 2 роки тому +95

      what's sad is nobody wants to say it cause they're dead ... but it's the parents fault.

    • @deviantmoore9744
      @deviantmoore9744 2 роки тому +76

      He killed his younger brother for no reason. That part made me lose all compassion. He's a messed up individual who needed help. He deserves to be in jail.

  • @Metroid250
    @Metroid250 2 роки тому +549

    Call it what it is - abuse. This isn't "strict," this is a gross way of control. She did this to herself

  • @annabaum9482
    @annabaum9482 Рік тому +33

    Our parents weren't strict at all. We could have whatever we want and do whatever we want.
    My brothers and I became academics, we try to live a healthy life without any drugs. We treat all people with respect and are interested in environmental protection. And we love our parents.

    • @Leona17
      @Leona17 Рік тому +8

      And that's how parenting should be done! Creating healthy boundaries and an understanding of respect and the world by exposing the children to it. It should never be "The children have to obey" and rather "We're equal and listen to each other to find solutions".

  • @dominiquedoeslife
    @dominiquedoeslife 2 роки тому +16

    When you’re the type of person who constantly obsesses about the people in their life being swayed by “bad influences,” then you’re probably the only real “bad influence” they need to worry about.

  • @ambermicayla1300
    @ambermicayla1300 2 роки тому +1089

    That’s abuse. Someone should’ve intervened after this episode aired because it’s clear those boys needed help.

    • @ezrahlynam2207
      @ezrahlynam2207 2 роки тому +4

      Yesss 👏🏽
      I remember thinking this when it aired back in 2008

    • @TheJungaloo
      @TheJungaloo 2 роки тому +5

      Reality shows are abuse. That’s the kind of drama people love to see.

    • @MelonTartVA
      @MelonTartVA 2 роки тому +8

      Agreed. These boys were clearly emotionally and mentally abused.
      There might be physical abuse too, but we don't know.

    • @kyram123
      @kyram123 2 роки тому +6

      I agree, but there’s nothing the court will do in this situation - unless there is actual physical abuse. It’s very frustrating

    • @MelonTartVA
      @MelonTartVA 2 роки тому +5

      @@kyram123 that's the sad part. And even if there is, but no marks are left on the victim, sometimes they won't do anything until it's too late and something like this happens

  • @MsKJackson831
    @MsKJackson831 2 роки тому +851

    Cases like this always leave me feeling torn. Of course murder is not the answer, but as someone who had really strict parents I remember literally praying to God that they would just die so that I could have a stress free fun life like everyone else. I ended up running away at 13 and then I was so happy when I went into foster care after I was found 2 years later. It's hard for me to have sympathy for parents who face the consequences of making their children miserable.

    • @jmdenison
      @jmdenison 2 роки тому +44

      Wow. Thank you so much for sharing

    • @arieloliver3904
      @arieloliver3904 2 роки тому +1

      I really like this comment because not every case is black and white. Good and evil. Some people who are good/seem good can do evil things. I personally believe most people have it in them. Everyone has their breaking point. You poke a bear enough then it will bite you back. I don’t think a lot of people get that.

    • @meganb735
      @meganb735 2 роки тому +53

      I know murder isn’t the answer to this either, but I agree with you that the mom had it coming. There was a case kind of like that close to where I live. This was more of a domestic violence case, but this lady who had gone through years of verbal/ physical abuse at home snapped and killed her husband. She felt horrible afterwards, but I can’t even imagine what it was like going through that every day for years. She was a well loved and respected teacher at a local school, so it was a shock to everyone.

    • @christinagomez5079
      @christinagomez5079 2 роки тому +15

      I'm sorry for the pain & suffering you were subjected to. All to many of us are far too familiar with these. GOD Bless.

    • @froggy8195
      @froggy8195 2 роки тому +7

      His life plus his TBI along with the family forgiving him. I just dont know if he deserves prison at all.

  • @katlovedreamingpeach
    @katlovedreamingpeach 2 роки тому +41

    So awfully sad!! Sounds like the Dad and Brothers understood the reason behind it because of how they were so forgiving, even though he also X'd the youngest brother too! 💔 Her abusive rules and terror of the world was a poison that destroyed them all. She raised them to be terrified of everything 😭

  • @lindy2
    @lindy2 2 роки тому +31

    I don't remember a lot of Wife Swap because the episodes all kinda run together. I recognized Jacob from the episode I watched when he was crying and ran outside because he thought he was going to go to hell for playing video games. I was deeply sad and horrified at the time because I knew he only had a small chance of turning out mentally healthy. This is really tragic. I am not saying he is not responsible for his actions but by the time that episode aired he was already so damaged by fear and shame.

  • @melissablais6030
    @melissablais6030 2 роки тому +456

    The part that boggles my mind...is that this strict family was so determined to keep their kids away from everything 'bad and sinful'...yet chose to participate in a reality TV show 🤔

    • @shaynegron10
      @shaynegron10 2 роки тому +19

      Money love, this was in the 2000s where from experience a bunch of family owned farms were closing down because people were no buying, my family managed a a pig and sugar farm and we almost had to sold our entire land during this time

    • @user-ic4re8oh9c
      @user-ic4re8oh9c 2 роки тому +36

      A lot of people like this have egos the size of Texas. I grew up in this environment. It's also a common theme amongst these types of folks to really get their rocks off from being "judged" or viewed as "different" It's validation that they aren't living of the world and that they are in holier than thou. I'm sure the mom jumped at this opportunity to show how "different" she was

    • @BayleeButton96
      @BayleeButton96 2 роки тому

      They probably did it for the same reason the Duggars did, they think they can spread their message and save others

    • @katie5920
      @katie5920 2 роки тому +33

      Maybe they were hoping to get publicity for their band or maybe hoped more parents thought like they did and would start raising their kids like that....not sure

    • @MarieAnne.
      @MarieAnne. 2 роки тому +8

      @@katie5920 Those seem like the two most plausible reasons to me.

  • @flameshade7601
    @flameshade7601 2 роки тому +633

    I gotta say, I find his brothers forgiving him for murdering their mother and younger brother very telling, honestly. I wonder if they sometimes also felt that their lives would have been better if their mother died. Of course we'll never know now. Regardless, I don't agree with that woman's parenting methods in the slightest, and I believe if she hadn't treated her children like that, this never would have happened.

    • @MustacheDLuffy
      @MustacheDLuffy 2 роки тому +19

      That just means she was abusive

    • @Tw0Dots
      @Tw0Dots 2 роки тому +8

      @@MustacheDLuffy yeah, no shit??

    • @crystalb4178
      @crystalb4178 2 роки тому +24

      I find It bizarre that they are forgiving about him murdering their younger brother. Their mother, I can understand but their brother was just as much a victim of her abusive parenting as they were.

    • @mesij6798
      @mesij6798 2 роки тому +10

      @@crystalb4178 someone said it could’ve been a mercy killing which I totally understand in that I was raised by a narcissistic mother and I always wished I never had a little sister bc I don’t want her to have to deal with what I did. I didn’t want her dead though . But this case of abuse is obviously more extreme

    • @psychicrenegade
      @psychicrenegade 2 роки тому

      The mother, yes, but why the little brother???

  • @jennybenners3683
    @jennybenners3683 2 роки тому +2

    The instrument switching was really cool! Those boys were precious.

  • @Muggle87
    @Muggle87 Рік тому +8

    I remember this one kid who was homeschool. We were doing community program. He went into rage bc he didnt believe a woman should be his supervisor. It was crazy like he hollar like he gone thru some kind of injustice and screaming at all women about how they need to know their place and that god intended for women to be caregivers not providers. Security had to remove him.

  • @destinycholm4344
    @destinycholm4344 2 роки тому +1135

    Jacob needed help and that is not something his parents would have given him. They would have just told him to pray about it….these kids were abused.

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому +2

      Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?

    • @rebeccat7912
      @rebeccat7912 2 роки тому +39

      @@justme240 dude, stop asking the same question on every comment. You have too much time on your hands, and your question is incredibly close-minded.

    • @katie5920
      @katie5920 2 роки тому +35

      @@justme240 Not every person reacts the same way to situations, just because they didn't become murderers doesn't mean they weren't messed up.

    • @ChyTeaLatte
      @ChyTeaLatte 2 роки тому +6

      @@justme240 as well as what others said, we don’t know how the parents treated them off camera, and I’m sure as the other brothers left home there may have been more pressure on him. It could be mental illness too. It’s nice that the other brothers didn’t become murderers, but with how restrictive they’re upbringing was, it wouldn’t be surprising if they had ended up like that

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому

      @@katie5920 You don't know that. Then why do kids, who have excellent childhoods, grow up to rape and murder?

  • @TheQuietRiotProductions
    @TheQuietRiotProductions 2 роки тому +1070

    I would like to hear what a child psychologist or a therapist specializing in trauma has to say about this. While he may be “mentally competent” he was not giving any freedom to explore and that is traumatizing. Video games, trying different foods, have friends outside of the home, among other things help us grow. James and his brothers didn’t have any of that.

    • @erinmarieee23
      @erinmarieee23 2 роки тому +64

      100% agree. These children were basically prisoners in their own home. A life like that would eventually drive any sane person to violence!

    • @maggiekarabel123
      @maggiekarabel123 2 роки тому +29

      @@LiveeviL7ate9 Yeah but I know firsthand that the Amish interact with people outside their religion nearly every day. My granddad traded work with the Amish his whole life and he was Quaker. Those kids didn’t have that luxury.

    • @jamiesigg
      @jamiesigg 2 роки тому +8

      @@LiveeviL7ate9 these kids didn’t go to regular school? They were homeschooled

    • @afallingstarfell
      @afallingstarfell 2 роки тому +4

      @@LiveeviL7ate9 ??? they were homeschooled… she said that multiple times.

    • @nashikaquick1329
      @nashikaquick1329 2 роки тому

      @@LiveeviL7ate9 ok

  • @sophiahart9115
    @sophiahart9115 Рік тому +9

    i see a kid who wanted to be freed so much he went to extreme levels of course it’s not an excuse but i feel for him & hope he finds peace

  • @starmatinog3405
    @starmatinog3405 Рік тому +8

    honestly this type of thing happens more than you’d think. parents are so mentally abusive it pushes their kids over the edge n they feel that is their only escape

  • @katec2922
    @katec2922 2 роки тому +1433

    His parents broke him, especially his mother. Poor kid probably thought he was saving his little brother from the trauma he carried. I feel for James, and even for Jacob. The woman who birthed them was not their mother, she was a dictator, I feel nothing for her.

    • @therealopaartist
      @therealopaartist 2 роки тому +107

      I sadly think that the brother dying was either a “mercy kill” or him getting between the mother and the bullet (there have been cases of a bullet going through one person and then another. ).
      This kid absolutely snapped once he realized his life wasn’t normal and how controlling his parents were.

    • @QueerFrogRabbit
      @QueerFrogRabbit 2 роки тому +48

      Agreed. Nothing at all. My sympathy is for those boys.

    • @CoCo-yv3hl
      @CoCo-yv3hl 2 роки тому +15

      He was 25 he could have just never went back home

    • @therealopaartist
      @therealopaartist 2 роки тому +91

      @@CoCo-yv3hl i guess you’ve never been traumatized.

    • @mt9729
      @mt9729 2 роки тому +47

      @@therealopaartist i think u may be right, maybe he meant to kill only the mum but the younger brother got in the way and they both died. therefore, he wanted to commit suicide for killing his brother (not the mum)

  • @user-ez4fk6tf6v
    @user-ez4fk6tf6v 2 роки тому +2159

    I'm only 10 minutes in and I completely understand why this would lead to murder. I'm not saying I agree or condone the actions just that I understand why such a severe upbringing, no matter how well intentions behind it, would lead to death.

    • @chelseapthib36
      @chelseapthib36 2 роки тому +138

      Completely agree. Its a wonder only 1 of the kids snapped. She put way too much pressure and perfect expectations on those kids. I don't agree with what he did, but I can see what and why this happened. Terrible situation.

    • @fisforfriday
      @fisforfriday 2 роки тому +88

      I agree there was absolutely no nurturing in that type of parenting. Paying a fee if you’re late to breakfast? Like what?

    • @chelseapthib36
      @chelseapthib36 2 роки тому +54

      @@fisforfriday teaching them about financial penalties 🤦🏽‍♀️ come on now, i know she had them up at the crack of dawn AND they're kids!
      She should have sent them to military school, they might have gotten more love and care from the drill sergeants!

    • @marbles9176
      @marbles9176 2 роки тому

      Almost any time these super religious families cut themselves off from secular society, the cult mentality is already in place and mental health help is ruled out as necessary for kids. Look at the duggars, they knew their kids needed therapy but the solution they chose was 💫prayerz💫

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому +5

      Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?

  • @kingfarmer1010
    @kingfarmer1010 Рік тому +7

    The mother's power tripping inside her home was in clinical range, it was absurdly abusive, disempowering and demeaning. I'm not surprised one of the children cracked in that hell.

  • @mandamae1986
    @mandamae1986 2 роки тому +3

    This is actually right down the road from where I live. Its scary when things like this happen so close to home.

  • @marvelousmaggiemonday1965
    @marvelousmaggiemonday1965 2 роки тому +391

    It’s ironic that when you watch the episode the the dad says “on the day we moved (from the city) we heard gunshots and we knew it was the right decision” and his own son used a gun to kill his family. Also ironic that they judged the other family so harshly for listening to rap and other things when they are the ones that ended up on the news.

  • @Jess-bee
    @Jess-bee 2 роки тому +684

    She wasn’t just “strict”. It was emotional abuse. Sadly, I am not surprised it ended up the way it did. If someone emotionally abused me throughout my whole life, who knows what I would be capable of.

  • @ottostrohschein8180
    @ottostrohschein8180 Рік тому +3

    We watched him preform several months before the murders.
    We were totally shocked. They were an amazing family and his smile was infectious.
    Just heartbreaking

  • @SirXer
    @SirXer Рік тому +2

    New viewer here as I have had literally dozens of recommendations to watch you as you are known to be a respectful and entertaining content creator. Looking forward to watching more of your videos soon! This case was so wild.

  • @aceshigh5157
    @aceshigh5157 2 роки тому +610

    it's interesting that jacob was still living at home at 25 and didn't go away to college like his older brothers. honestly, i'm surprised that his older brothers were able to do that since they were all controlled by fear of the real world. assimilating must have been very challenging.
    it baffles my mind when parents think they're doing good when they "shield" their kids from reality. they are being set up for failure. disallowing them to create their own identities and learn from their own mistakes, creates many future problems.

    • @EluneMoonglade
      @EluneMoonglade 2 роки тому +79

      I’m wondering if he didn’t leave because he was afraid of the real world.

    • @KikiW89
      @KikiW89 2 роки тому +10

      Most of the time people who live like that
      Go off somewhere like getting married
      Or go to college

    • @MrIlleatyourcookies
      @MrIlleatyourcookies 2 роки тому +26

      this is what i was thinking. imagine being sheltered like that and going to college. its so fucking different

    • @JP-su1eg
      @JP-su1eg 2 роки тому +55

      Usually children like Jacob are the ones that are abused the most and singled out and/or had a more sensitive nature. Not every child in the same abusive home will respond the same. For Jacob, perhaps he was so broken down emotionally that he thought very little of himself & it created an emotional prison which paralyzed him & prevented him from leaving.

    • @wordivore
      @wordivore 2 роки тому +33

      @@JP-su1eg Good points. Not all kids in abusive and neglectful homes are treated the same. There is usually a scapegoat. That could've been Jacob.

  • @KatMerriam75
    @KatMerriam75 2 роки тому +517

    This case kind of reminds me of the Duggars. Children raised with strict rules and sheltered from the world. We are lucky in a sense Josh didnt go on a killing spree what he did is disgusting.

    • @cryptidfaerie4107
      @cryptidfaerie4107 2 роки тому +18

      they do lead a similar lifestyle, i wonder if they’re apart of the same religious sect

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому +3

      Then why didn't all the Duggar kids turn out bad?

    • @nina-ls4wc
      @nina-ls4wc 2 роки тому +26

      @@justme240 because once you have 19 kids and the older ones are looking after the young ones it's a bit harder to stamp the indoctrination in them. Besides the Duggar sons are still conservative, the girls who married more "relaxed" husband's have a more secular life.

    • @l8trskaters
      @l8trskaters 2 роки тому +18

      I agree, those poor duggar kids probably have some real trauma. balancing the media and their strict lifestyle, i bet josh’s issues aren’t the only thing going on

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому

      @@nina-ls4wc And what studies are you basing this off of? What about the kids who have excellent childhoods and still rape and murder?

  • @NudePostingConspiracyTheories
    @NudePostingConspiracyTheories Рік тому +6

    Really well covered. Your voice is easy to listen to, and you pace it gently which makes me able to take it all in well. No sensationalising either. And you didn’t force an opinion upon us. I appreciate that. It’s like an equal deal. So many true crime tellers use it to shove their opinions down your thro. It’s poison and I don’t stay. Thanks. Got a lot to contemplate out of this one. I think it’s an important story

  • @holysmoke7236
    @holysmoke7236 2 роки тому +6

    Imagine growing up with parents that told you that you'd burn in hell if you had fun

  • @cookingandbakingwithhanan715
    @cookingandbakingwithhanan715 2 роки тому +507

    All those rules and “don’t”s but she was okay with partaking in a reality TV show which even some of the most modern families are uncomfortable doing. Double standards? That must have confused the kids too!

    • @swhitson9633
      @swhitson9633 2 роки тому +98

      I think she felt so proud and self-righteous about her parenting style that she wanted to show it off to the world. Like a "look at what a perfect mother I am, you should all be raising your kids this way too" type of thing. Definitely would have been confusing for the kids, especially when they were told they could play video games and date and stuff while the other mom was there.

    • @queenlegitimate5015
      @queenlegitimate5015 2 роки тому +12

      Remember too that these people were instructed to exaggerate and really play up certain characteristics for entertainment purposes

    • @cookingandbakingwithhanan715
      @cookingandbakingwithhanan715 2 роки тому +2

      @@swhitson9633 I hear you ! It is a tragedy all around

    • @indy2316
      @indy2316 2 роки тому +7

      The producers probably called them up and offered a LOT of money

    • @prettyinpinky5937
      @prettyinpinky5937 2 роки тому +10

      She wanted fame for their band and to use her kids to make money! That’s it!

  • @victorywalkingtours8843
    @victorywalkingtours8843 2 роки тому +240

    I almost married a guy who grew up in a home JUST LIKE this. Except there was no internet, lol. But just like this in almost every way. His parents were the most horrible and unkind people I've ever known, yet so convinced that they were spreading the love of God.

    • @emmaleo1782
      @emmaleo1782 2 роки тому +9

      I can understand why he would kill his mother! But why his wee Bro? Who was shout 1st? Need more information on the murder..

    • @MustacheDLuffy
      @MustacheDLuffy 2 роки тому

      @@emmaleo1782 keep in mind that the conservative mother was able to establish ground rules for a week and she was very much likely abusive to the liberal family’s children. Could’ve led some of their children’s partners to leave them heartbroken.

    • @Gaibreel
      @Gaibreel 2 роки тому +3

      Some say it was so that the brother didn't have yo suffer the life. Since the youngest was much younger

  • @lesliefischer1432
    @lesliefischer1432 2 роки тому +12

    It seems so bizarre they agreed to wifeswap. If they were so strict how did they even know about the show?

  • @aubreystickel8674
    @aubreystickel8674 2 роки тому +8

    As a person who knew them and was homeschooled with them its crazy how not surprised I am by the way they grew up. Sad

  • @therealopaartist
    @therealopaartist 2 роки тому +682

    I’m glad my mom wasn’t this insane with rules. She had basic stuff like not eating Cheetos on the white rug, keep your room decent looking and do your own laundry.

    • @lifeofme374
      @lifeofme374 2 роки тому +41

      & that’s normal!! but this… i feel bad for those boys , it’s extremism.

    • @therealopaartist
      @therealopaartist 2 роки тому +35

      @@lifeofme374 I was decently self sufficient by middle school. Knew how to cook basic meals, how to do my own laundry, how to get blood out of clothes, how to properly make a bed, the right amount of bleach and water to clean the floor, grocery shopping…
      Ya know the basic skills of life.

    • @jessrosefawkes2721
      @jessrosefawkes2721 2 роки тому +18

      Ditto lol! I had to eat Cheetos outside and wash my hands straight afterwards cos she didn’t want orange cheese dust all over her white kitchen lol.

    • @cloudsncats
      @cloudsncats 2 роки тому +41

      Not eating Cheetos on the white rug is also a rule I have given myself as a full grown adult lmao 😂

    • @kellymclean3345
      @kellymclean3345 2 роки тому +40

      My biggest rule was my daughter's disaster of a room. The rule?...."you must leave a path for a fire escape".

  • @skyjoy07
    @skyjoy07 2 роки тому +485

    This is downright scary. I can not imagine living in a home run like that. This is not being strict this is being abusive on a terrifying level. Those kids didn’t get a childhood and it breaks my heart. I never support murder but I can definitely see why it happened in this case. You can only push a person so far before they break. All around sad story. Thanks as always for the great coverage Kendall.

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому +5

      Then why didn't all 4 boys become murderers?

    • @sidda7085
      @sidda7085 2 роки тому +20

      @@justme240 because people are individuals 🥴
      What a stupid question

    • @niaram
      @niaram 2 роки тому +1

      @@justme240 bc two of them left the abusive household and one of them was killed before they had the chance to snap lol

    • @justme240
      @justme240 2 роки тому +1

      @@niaram They left to go to college as adults. It's not like they ran away. Yall need to take some psychology classes before having kids, that's all I'm saying. Understand this can happen to anyone.

    • @niaram
      @niaram 2 роки тому

      @@justme240 yeah they left as adults but moving out was frowned upon so that was a big step. also moving as adults still meant escaping an abusive household lol
      edit: i’m not saying that this is the reason he became a killer, but i was just explaining a reason for why all four didn’t become killers

  • @kennedystarr8094
    @kennedystarr8094 2 роки тому +3

    You are glowing Kendall!! I know Pregnancy isn't always comfortable but the changes suit you well. So excited for you and your husband!

  • @victoriaomdahl9890
    @victoriaomdahl9890 Рік тому

    Wow first and foremost thank you for this video. Your sound and volume is FANTASTIC. I really appreciate having ample volume to hear you. Too many have volume to low and I can't hear it and then can't watch Sadly captions are frequently off. So I really appreciate your volume.
    I love the wife swap shows as well. Been binging on hulu. I just watched this one this morning. Wow its sad that a family that tried so hard to institute good values and living ended in such a way. The father even said how they heard gunshots the night they moved. Its kinda chilling to hear such a premonition.

  • @hc125
    @hc125 2 роки тому +414

    I loved wifeswap. This is one of the only ones that reallllly unsettled me. Many episodes I didn't agree with but to each their own. This family...something was really off. I firmly believe that the other mom who came in during this episode picked up on it too. She cried for those kids & was concerned. Not just the rules. Something more was going on IMO.

    • @elliecasta1145
      @elliecasta1145 2 роки тому

      I got selfish mom sexually abusing the boys vibes from this story.

    • @mg192
      @mg192 2 роки тому +63

      @Fast Track stop being thirsty and desperate for tea. Nobody knows what was going on behind doors there’s just a feeling there was something deeper. Go touch grass

    • @Deasherb
      @Deasherb Рік тому +29

      Those rules were just the things she was willing to show the world, I'm sure there were even worse things happening behind the scenes

    • @crystalmesser6902
      @crystalmesser6902 Рік тому +5

      @@Deasherb agreed

    • @Daniela-Christianson
      @Daniela-Christianson Рік тому +3

      The "rules" were enough to make one uber concerned

  • @makaylaharris413
    @makaylaharris413 2 роки тому +117

    This is just sad. They grew up with no love, only severe emotional abuse. Her “no violence” rules really worked in her favor

  • @autumnwhite3050
    @autumnwhite3050 Рік тому

    Completely unrelated to the video. This is the first time I’ve come across your channel. I watch A LOT of true crime. You have the most relaxing and calming voice of all of them. I’m gunna go binge your videos now. THANK YOU!

  • @samanthagonzalez5053
    @samanthagonzalez5053 Рік тому +2

    I grew up in a home very, very similar to this.
    Some kids who grow up like this will comply, some will rebel, and some will break. 😥
    I went to college at 17, eloped at 20, and never looked back. ☀️

  • @morganthompson2650
    @morganthompson2650 2 роки тому +672

    This is horrible, those parents were clearly abusing their children, while using their “religious beliefs”and parenting as excuses for their overly strict rules and expectations of them. I don’t know if any of you have thought about this but I think the reason they were forbidden to watch tv or play sports was because the parents likely knew if they watched kids on tv or spoke to teammates on a sports team they would figure out quickly that the life they were living wasn’t normal nor were a lot of the rules religious and non religious alike and would lead to them rebelling against the parents and questioning them and the life they were living. I’m not excusing what Jacob did because it’s inexcusable and why he also killed his younger brother I don’t understand, murder or not both parents were awful and abusive to those kids and the kids should have been taken from them after the show aired or in the very least someone should have issued welfare checks on the family.

    • @HaileyDelaine
      @HaileyDelaine 2 роки тому +1

      The lady sounds like a malignant narcissist and they lives they were imposing on the boys while not completely the same it strikes me almost as a munchausen syndrome by proxy. It’s a different style of abuse but the mental effects and outcome seems to be much of the same.

    • @morganthompson2650
      @morganthompson2650 2 роки тому +15

      @@HaileyDelaine I’ve speculated about those possibilities too, about the malignant narcissism and munchausen by proxy, from what I saw from watching the episode of wife swap and from hearing about the case it wouldn’t surprise me.

    • @HaileyDelaine
      @HaileyDelaine 2 роки тому +8

      Morgan Thompson - yes without the ability to clinically diagnose it’s up to speculation, though I do think that if they broadened the definition of munchauen by proxy or even named a related disorder I think this would qualify. As the root of why perpetrators of munchauen’s by proxy do what they do is strikingly similar. The Parallels from say the gypsy rose case and this case and even the outcomes are similar. The power and control tactics these women utilized were very similar in nature. The root of why they implemented them are also very much the same. Power, control, accolades, dependence on them from the victims, a means to get recognition from their respective communities, validation for themselves of what great, self sacrificing, wonderful, fill in the blank …mothers they were.

    • @thatdamncrow9197
      @thatdamncrow9197 2 роки тому

      @@HaileyDelaine this is very unlikely to be munchauen syndrome by proxy
      The big difference is people with that condition try to fake illness or injuries to such a extreme extent to get attention they might for example poison their child with insulin to get sympathy
      Or cut themselves/child with a knife so people become concerned about them

    • @mackhiggins4731
      @mackhiggins4731 2 роки тому +15

      Kendall said the mom and James were shot and killed by a single gunshot. I couldn't tell if she meant one shot went through both of them, but either way, I wonder if James jumped in front of their mom when Jacob shot and accidentally killed his younger brother. And perhaps that is also why he tried to get himself afterward...? This entire thing is so sad.

  • @loririsk
    @loririsk 2 роки тому +649

    The mom completely sheltered those boys from reality. They had no idea of what really living is. I imagine that when the swap happened, and Jacob realized how "imprisoned" they really were, he just snapped. I think that had they had more freedoms, it may not have happened. Truly a sad story. I wonder how the older boys are doing, living out in the real world.

    • @skylined5534
      @skylined5534 2 роки тому +44

      I mean, some of the things she wanted from and for her kids were good ideas in principle.
      Such as doing chores for rewards and family mealtimes, cleaning up after yourself, being respectful.
      But the no snacks, no 'frivolous' internet use, no sports and some of the foods they had to eat, being told they'd burn in hell for playing video games... crazy.

    • @samalalas
      @samalalas 2 роки тому +121

      I found it interesting that “debate lessons” were every day at 4pm, and the 911 call came in at 4:36pm
      Makes me wonder if there’s a connection to whatever triggered him or made took him to his breaking point and being in an argumentative mindset at that point in time

    • @Siriusly10
      @Siriusly10 2 роки тому +15

      @@samalalas good point

    • @Daniela-Christianson
      @Daniela-Christianson Рік тому +18

      @@samalalas Your comment should be on the main thread! I'm glad I read the replies all the way to the bottom.

    • @michellefucile7426
      @michellefucile7426 Рік тому +12

      @@skylined5534 This woman had a really bad idea of keeping her kids from just growing up normal, she took that way too far my god! Her son snapped because he didn’t understand why he was not a normal kid! But literally telling them they would go to hell for watching tv, or playing video games seriously crazy Mom. She didn’t think that would come back on her? Just WOW 😮 I FEEL SORRY FOR THE KILLER?! That’s new for me!! Hardcore Justice I believe in! But this should have never happened. I always get Leary when parents homeschool their kids, just doesn’t seem right! Not for everyone

  • @elaineoh724
    @elaineoh724 2 роки тому +11

    If the boys had to earn every reward, then what does Catherine bring to the table for her own rewards and luxuries?
    I bet the double standards and hypocrisy were very real.

    • @MissX905
      @MissX905 2 роки тому +1

      Did she rule her husband's life too? He was "free" roaming the country doing deliveries. He could have gotten "bad influence" too couldn't he?

  • @lb1984
    @lb1984 Рік тому +2

    I wish some parents could see that when they are restricting outside influence it doesn’t show proof of faith or goodness. It shows lack of faith and trust that your children will be able to face the world and navigate it with sound judgment.

  • @meg659
    @meg659 2 роки тому +458

    That kind of parenting is 100% child abuse disguised as well-meaning when religion is involved. You can't expect your child to live in that kind of environment and be a well-adjusted adult when they go out into the world, as they should freely be able to do. I feel bad for all of those kids. I feel bad for the brother he killed too.

    • @emily78910
      @emily78910 2 роки тому +23

      Raising kids like that & then sending them out into the real world when they're 18.... They would literally have no idea what to do. I'm a mother myself & I could never ever imagine doing that to my babies.

    • @QueerFrogRabbit
      @QueerFrogRabbit 2 роки тому +7

      100%... horrifying.

    • @michelemartin3642
      @michelemartin3642 2 роки тому +10

      It's tragic, but the mother seemed to treat her kids almost like robots. I truly wonder what kind of offspring she hoped to raise if they couldn't learn from being in the "outside" world, so that the boys could learn to engage successfully, etc and importantly learning from one's mistakes, ,(especially as teenagers/young adults?). You cannot really disengage from the world and be successful.
      I am aware of so many situations like this & they almost nearly end badly in some way.

    • @sharonwolfe5210
      @sharonwolfe5210 2 роки тому +2

      Even when religion is not involved, it's still extreme, and ultimately, the house of cards is doomed...

    • @AspireGMD
      @AspireGMD 2 роки тому +2

      @@emily78910 It's horrible when I see parents booting their kids out right as they hit the legal minimum to do so, no idea how many homeless teenagers I've seen at this point.

  • @chelscara
    @chelscara 2 роки тому +145

    Parents really strip all joy and personality from a child and get surprised when the breaking point hits every time. I’ll never understand it. My mom wasn’t perfect but jfc at least she knew I was a person.

  • @kimberbrown2858
    @kimberbrown2858 Рік тому

    Your one awesome story teller Kendall...i watch your story then i play it again & it puts me right to sleep..thats a compliment trust me! So i thank you

  • @FujishimaAkiko
    @FujishimaAkiko 2 роки тому +5

    When I was a kid in middle school, our "baby" from health class was an egg...lol. So many of us took it seriously, making little cribs and clothes for our little egg babies...lol!