Good Grief
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- Опубліковано 17 січ 2023
- In this episode we talk about grief. Not just in our only personal experience recently but about grief in general in hoping that it will help one of you through your journey as well. We also wanted to thank each and every one of you who have reached out in condolences to Andrew’s dad, Guy, who recently passed away unexpectedly on December 27th, 2022.
If you are interested in learning more about Guy or donating, you can learn more here: www.indystar.com/obituaries/i...
Knowing WHERE he is and WHO he is with changes the impact of the stages of grief. There is an underlying joy that we have as Christians when our loved ones ascend. I hope that with your platform you can share and expand that knowledge so others can see Christ in you. You two are doing a great job. Just take each day as it comes and stay in the word. The word expands and grows in us when we go through these moments. Much love to you both and your family.
I lost my one and only child, my daughter on Dec 27, 2022. The same day as your dad. They both we to meet our Savior. I cannot understand how people can do life without Jesus. My daughter was disabled and I was her caretaker. She needed care with every aspect of his life. The pain. Is real and raw. And I am in the waves of emotions astheu come and go. No one person is the same and everyone grieves differently. I have peace that I will see her again one day because and through Jesus and I too am his child. In the mean time I have to trust God and have faith in him. For his plans & ways are always greater. In the hurt of not having her here I know that God is Not done with me and looking forward to eventually getting see the full picture of what God is going to do with me. He promised to see us through to a victorious end. God is good and I am so thankful I have many pictures & memories to get me through the next part of my journey. Thank you for sharing your story. I find it helpful when you talk about that person & your journey
God bless you. Praying for you on this one year anniversary. Feel held by prayers and by the savior.
I lost my brother at 5, mom at 21 and dad at 24. You are addressing grief in a very healthy way. Everyone’s grief journey is unique and your own🙏🏻🙏🏻
What God doesn't protect you from, he will Perfect you through. Sending my prayers
I am so sorry 😢 Andrew I’m very sorry he was your best friend.
You never get over the loss. I lost my husband five years ago. I still am grieving for him. We were high school sweethearts! I miss him ! You just put one foot in front of the other and take them with you, in your heart. I remember how great my husband was. I thank God he sent me my Jack! To me we are still together and I still wear my wedding rings. But he was my first love and last but most of all my soulmate and forever love. I lost my Two Dads also my Father and Stepfather. I miss them . I know we will see our loved ones again. God promises that in his word the Bible. I hold on to the memories and the love that my husband gave to me and our children and grandchildren. He was a wonderful man and loved by many people! God is good. He has been with me for the last few years. I look back and know in my heart. Yes that part was a God thing. Can’t wait to see my loved ones who have passed on. But my husband is the one whom I will most want to see and hug! My heart goes out to you and your family and friends who loved him. Prayers and love always! 🙏❤️🤗🙌🏻
Andrew, you are so eloquent with your words, and you are both mourning well! What an incredible testimony of the goodness of God in the midst of loss! You will be reunited in heaven one day! The tears and sadness of this life is temporary, but for all who know Jesus, we have the hope of eternity in heaven! Thank you for being light in the darkness! Glory to His name!!!
I heard a pastor say when his dad died. A quick death is GOD’S kiss
upon the soul. It gives me great comfort. My heart was broken when my dad died at 57 like your dad. My
mother suffered so long I could really
appreciate the quick death upon the soul. Your family will be in my prayers.🙏❤️
Andrew I lost my dad when I was 29 he was 56. It has been 14 years he’s been gone. I want you to know it never feels “back to normal” it’s just a new normal. The stages of grief come at different times for different people. At the 2 year mark I actually had to take a low dose anti depressant because grief was so overwhelming. I had never need any type of medication. It shook me. All that to say don’t be afraid to process everything you need to and be aware that it’ll come in waves.
Shawn, kudos to you for quietly allowing Andrew to just speak uninterrupted about his dad, and sharing your love of family and faith. Andrew, the hurt of losing your dad, as your one friend mentioned, will never go away. You do learn to live through it. You already expressed how his legacy will live through you. His most important example was that of his love for our Living Lord. Hold tight to your relationship with Christ Jesus. Dig into the scriptures so that your own children will have the opportunity to live with their grandpa's love of God through you and Shawn. Missing my dad since 2016.
The Fathers teachings, passed down from God to your dad to you and now you can share with your wife and children remember always be a blessing and He will honor this. ❤
I am in the trenches with you. I lost my 27 yo son almost 3 months ago. Parents should not have to bury their children. Hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I’m struggling to make sense of it. It helps knowing he is with my mom, his NeNe, in heaven. Love you guys and your family. Praying for continued strength as you all navigate through this change in life.
Losing a parent is the most bizarre mix of feelings ever. Like Andrew said, there has been 20 days that he has been on this planet without a father. I lost my Dad 6 years ago and I so felt that statement. It's a whole different feeling that no one really thinks about until it happens. God bless you and your family ❤️
I am very sorry for your loss. The number of deaths “unexpectedly “ or “ suddenly” that has happened in the last year and a half or two is beyond alarming. They all seem to have a commonality. May the American public wise up to what is being inflicted upon us by a company or two who are liability free.
Shawn, I love how you refer to him as dad, and Andrew’s family as yours. It’s really beautiful. These days a lot of people, including myself, don’t see their in-laws as their own family and would never call them them mom & dad. It’s really refreshing to see
That is what I really enjoyed too. How Shawn is really part of the family. They are good human beings. Mortal life is brief even though at times it doesn't feel as brief.
my spouse called my parents mom & dad
I never called my in laws by their first names. Out of respect, I called them mom and dad. And my hubby called my mom and dad that. My daughter-in-law doesn’t. She calls us by our first names. My daughter’s husband calls us mom and dad. So weird.
My husband called my parents mom and dad.. my father passed a few years ago but he always calls my mom, mom!! His parents are no longer with us. My daughter in law called us by our names ( a little uncomfortable) because we loved her like our own . At other times she would call me Momma Lyle which I Loved!!!!
My husband calls my parents mom and dad too. He lost his dad when he was 11, so when we met, it wasn’t long and my dad stepped in the role for him. And his mom has made some choices that have kept us at arms reach…sooo my mom kinda helps that role too..
I also had a wonderful godly father. He was apart of my daily life. He has been gone 9 years. I still have times that I miss him so badly that I breakdown and cry. Christmas is especially hard because he loved Christmas. He will always be a part of me. I know that he is with his Lord and Savior. My daughter named her son after my father. I wish my dad could see him.
I also had a dream of my father talking to me two days after he died. I think that is Gods comforting Holy Spirit. As a Christian, God provides the comforter.
I've been blessed as well with my father until I was 48yr.old. But, 42yr old when I lost my mom. No matter how long or little time we have them you will always miss them. Keep active and say his name often. Know his spirit and presence is always with you. Embrace your feeling, it's a process you need to go threw to feel the pain of your loss. Exercise is my key to keeping me balanced and presence for those in my life on earth. Prayers for all of your family as you continue this new phase of life.
I lost my sweet mom Thanksgiving week 2022. It was quick for her as well! 10 days in ICU on life support. My dad had to make the tough decision to take her off of LS as he knew she was ready to meet Jesus too. She loved the Lord and she loved people, never meeting a stranger. She too left a legacy. 4 children and their spouses and grandchildren are all saved as well and all love Jesus as well, many are in full time ministry.. Before we took her off of LS we celebrated her 90th Bday in the ICU w/her family; grandchildren and even grandchildren w/balloons and banners. Everyone kissed her goodbye knowing that was the last time on this side. My siblings and my dad were by her side and only had to watch her suffer 40 min before she took her last breath and entered the arms of Jesus. A bittersweet moment as we all know Jesus and knew where she was going. Ironically, she loved her praise music so we kept it playing by her bedside on her phone while in the ICU. God in His graciousness the moment she took her last breath… the song “I can only imagine” was playing on her phone 😊 Unlike your Dad, she had reached a ripe ole age and had been saying for months, I’m ready to go home!
Yes, I have my hard days and I think about the wonderful ways of my mom and all that she taught me about life! Life is good! We know where our parents are and the greatest gift of all is knowing we will join them on our final journey! Our job now is to continue carrying on their mission: be a blessing to all God brings across our pathway. Thanks for so much for sharing your story! ( I have on occasion asked God to give my mom a message…) Blessings upon both of you and your families!
What is really special is that your Dad is with Jesus now. His faith is sight now! He is at peace and is full of joy!!
Thank you God, for the Blessings of Beautiful People, who share nuggets of Love & Joy, & offers me a Lesson of Life well Lived. At the End he said I have fought a Good Fight, I have Finished my Race, I have kept the Faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me a Crown of Righteousness. We serve a Good, Good, Father.
Grief is not linear dearest Andrew & Shawn. It ebbs and flows in and out of emotional cycles as life events come and go.
Also- God is showing me that since we are made in His image as a 3 in one being, life affects our body, soul & spirit. The soul => our thoughts and feelings which make up our choices and will. 🥰. And- it’s ok to have all emotions. We in 🇺🇸 have morphed all emotions into “bad”. They are JUST emotions God has given us similar to what He likely has for us.
Deep thoughts. ❤
I have to add one more note, Shawn is right. For 14 years I've vacillated among all of the stages. My life has rebuilt around the grief. But the grief is still there. There are days when the loss of my dad (even though I'll see him again one day!) Is so profound I have a hard time functioning. Then there's days where I'm so happy he has been enjoying Jesus face to face for these 14 years. The hardest is he never met my children. We hold to the hope that one day they will meet at Jesus' feet. But, Andrew and Shawn, give yourselves grace for however you feel at any given moment. There is no one way through this. Tears of sadness are ok, too. Cling like you've never clung before to Jesus. Study, pray, let your raw emotions out to him in prayer. You are all in my prayers daily. I hope my rambling comes across in all love. ❤️
May your dad’s soul through the Mercy of God Rest in Peace. Amen
My dad died the exact same way, 11 years ago at age 45. I was 24 at the time. Literally would have never imagined in a million years that would be it. 🙏🏽🕊️
Andrew & Shawn,
Thank you for being soooooo raw and real.
We need folks with your balanced perspective in moving generations forward with technology on platforms like this if we are to be able to reach the world!
This platform is exactly that!
You both are a LIVING testimony of the faith and courage of ppl like Guy East tilling dry soil where someone else likely planted, watered, fertilized and/or harvested him to be the foundation for your legacy after him.
I love that while we all have choices in life no matter our lot- we can CHOOSE TO CHANGE to become a legacy with whatever God has for each of us. We just have to ASK. SEEK. KNOCK ✊ and he will provide a Guy or Andrew or Shawn or Me ☺️ or anyone to pour into.
God bless you 2! You touch my heart more than words express.
Mr. East was a great man and role model for many. Thanks for sharing Andrew.
MILES!!!
No one ever loses the feeling of grief, it doesn't go away--, people just learn to live with grief.
God sent 🙌🙏 I lost my dad 02-01-23. I miss him so much. God bless you both
and whole family.
The best analogy I've found for grief is that grief is a ball in a box. Life is the box, and grief is the ball. In that box is a botton that is pain. At first, the grief ball is huge and takes up all the space in your life, so it is constantly pushing on that pain button. As time passes, the ball gets smaller, so it presses on the pain button less often. As the ball gets smaller and pushes on the pain button less, you can continue life with less pain, but when the ball hits the button, it is just as painful as when it first started. The pain doesn't become less. The grief ball just hits it less often. And some days, that ball feels just as big as ever.
But it's nice to know that it won't always feel like that.
63 is way to soon, for the people on earth. He is still enjoying his family. Grief hits you throughout your life. just somedays it hits you.
Faith is a positive thing and what got me through the death of my Dad 7 years ago. The day my Dad died we were with him when he took his last breath, we had our tears for sure but after his last breath my brother and I stood at the end of his hospital bed and all we could do was smile. Dad was in heaven with his Lord and was in no more pain. Now we are going through my Mom’s illness with congestive heart failure waiting for the Lord to take her home. We don’t know when that will be. We are just thankful for everyday we have with her. She is 87 and has lived a wonderful life. My prayers are with you and your family and know your faith will get you through.
The following is the most profound description of grief, & what to expect moving forward, that I’ve ever read, & I share it with *anyone* who needs to hear it. It’s long, but very worth the read!….
Someone on reddit wrote the following heartfelt plea online:
"My friend just died. I don't know what to do."
A lot of people responded. Then there's one old guy's incredible comment that stood out from the rest that might just change the way we approach life and death. This is what the old man wrote:
"Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that l've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, parents, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents: I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.
Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life.
Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while.
Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch vour breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months. you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall.
Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at 0'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself.
And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side…Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come.
And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks"
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Shawn is 100% right. The pain, anger, shock and denial will never go away. You just learn how to live with it. My Mom died at the age of 44 and has been gone 24 years now but I still have all those emotions. Just remember your Dad will alway be with you and watching over you.
I am so sorry for your loss, it is extremely hard to go through. I lost my Mom in 2012. I miss her so much when Spring flowers bloom but knowing she is in Heaven with the Lord is such a Blessing. God Bless you. You are in my prayers.
I lost my Dad in 1995, 28 days later I lost my mom because she grieved herself to death. It was tough to deal with but as a family we got through it with a lot of help from God and family and friends. Grief will come in waves and it will hit you pout of no where , with Gods help and your beautiful family you will be fine , some days you will question that but you will be fine. Prayers for you and your family.
Such a beautiful thing to see the way you are experiencing joy in the midst of all of this very raw grief. That, in and of itself, is such a testimony to the love of Jesus. Oh, what a joy it is to know you will both see your dad again one day in the presence of JESUS. Praying for you both.
The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever!! I lost my mom to cancer 3 years ago. I love your perspectives on all of these things.
My favorite memory of the morning of my mom’s passing was her last breath here and the next being with her Savior!!
My dad died with a heart attack, easier for my dad, tougher for family. My mom died of cancer and suffered and fought for 4 months. We got to say goodbye, easier on family to say to goodbye while she was alive. My mom has been gone 29 years and my dad 25 years. And I was thinking and reminiscing as you were talking about your experience. I don't think that ever goes away. And crying is a release, doesn't matter who you are. Carry tissues with you for the next couple of months for those times that sneak up on you.
And dear heart Shawn..you are heartbroken also...you will know what to do..he will emotionally lead the way..and you lived Dad also...big love for you..your an angel.
The "firsts" for me were the hardest. You never stop missing them, but eventually, you start smiling when you remember them.
Just take every day with the Grace of God..moment by moment with praise on your lips for God's gifts he has given you to value..
I unexpectedly lost my father when I was 19 and it honestly still feels raw at times 11 years later. He missed my college graduation, my wedding, and the birth of my son. Just when I thought I had found peace in my grieving, we had a baby. Now I am grieving the loss of my child's grandfather, who he will never meet, instead of just the loss of my dad. Grief is for the rest of your life, but it is not just about being sad. There is so much beauty in healing and in love. I don't think grief is love you weren't able to give, but is love you still have but don't know where to put now that they are gone. I hope you are still able to remember that love and find ways to spread it instead of letting it fester in sadness.
I’ve lost both parents within last 4 1/2 years …. My mom passed away 4 years ago and my dad just never recovered …. He took his life back in September …. Both of my parents were believers and loved the Lord passionately… I can say that grief is a difficult process ….I’m the hardest part of it comes months later when reality hits …. Shock last for a while …..longer than you think. Give yourself grace and time to grieve…. It never really stops …. I can say that once a year had passed after my mom’s death, it got better. Knowing they are in heaven is such comfort and peace …. However, you still miss them, can’t just call them or talk to them…praying over you Andrew.
I lost my dad unexpectedly in 2021 - this episode was hard but so good to listen to. I have always felt like I wasn’t grieving the right way, but hearing your thoughts and feelings is comforting knowing I am not alone. Andrew, the days will get easier .. you will be able to talk about your dad without tears every time, the sadness will turn to more smiles and laughter. I try to think how lucky I am to have someone like my dad to miss, to have had his love and guidance for the years he was here and to know he lived his life until his last moment. ❤️
Sweet Andrew…Grief is continuous. Embrace it when it comes. You will always miss your Daddy.
You were blessed to have such a strong God-loving father who clearly gave you the foundation to be rhe loving supportive man you are. God bless.
Beautiful. Thank you. I lost my dad suddenly at 64 many years ago and I’m still cycling grief; as others have said in the phrases you hear, in memories and so much more. Even smell. My dad had a huge old oak desk in his office and I requested it when the day came and received it. But I could never use it despite my efforts. Each time I opened a drawer I smelled his after shave scent. So I sat beside his desk, at my smaller desk for many years. He sat beside every day of my life for many years. May God continue to richly bless you and your family. ❤
So sorry for your loss.. my mom has been gone for 13 years. I became a mother and wife without her. I still have moments of instant tears. Grief is a solo process because everyone had their own experiences with that person but stay close with your siblings because they will understand your grief.. But he’s around all of you just in a different way. Talk about him, say hello, he will be right beside you… 🥺🙏🏽 praying for you and your family!
This is the most important part and also natural way of grieving. Communication and acknowledgement of how you feel and expressing your emotions. The grief process is a true reflection and you will experience them all, over and over again. The first 5 years are the toughest, the first year is the worst. Keep your communication with each other first and do not feel guilty for how long you grieve.
Andrew, you are not a cry baby. You only get one Dad in life and imagining your next yrs with out him will always be hard. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no time line. Be gentle with yourself. I am so sorry you are going through this - it is so very hard. So much love to you and your family❤
I know the feeling all too well with loosing a parent and as of today I've lost both of mine. My mom passed the 26th of December 2018 with her battle of dementia. Seeing her deteriorate little by little was the worst thing I had ever had to live through and wouldn't wish that experience on anyone. She was my heart and I have never been the same since. We lost dad the 26th of April 2022 and it was fast. He had a stroke that his body couldn't come back from and then went into cardiac arrest. When people say you will get through the pain, it's not true, but you learn to live with it. I like Andrew wright my feelings down which helped me tremendously. I pray for your family and that God covers you all with his enduring love. 💙
The strangest things will cause you grief and angst for as long as you need them to be there. I lost my Dad when I was 9.... and my Mom when I was 56. They were and continue to be very different kinds of grief. You are allowed to feel whatever you need to feel to make it from day to day.... don't let anyone force you to think any differently. My sincere condolences to you both and your family. Life isn't always easy... we learn to navigate as best we can. Your path through grief is your own. Thank you for tackling a very difficult situation.
I believe GOD gives us dreams. I started having vivid dreams after my dad died and still have dreams of my dad. I was amazed to hear you say you had that dream. Definitely a God dream.
You Are not being a cry baby!!!! You love your dad, you valued his advice and opinions and you enjoyed your time and talks with him.. you will cry over not having that in the flesh anymore it makes sense it is the expression of your love!!!!
God IS sooo good even when we don’t understand what he’s doing and why. One day we will see and understand but until then we just have to trust him until then.
Such a great pod today! Seeing the vulnerability from you, Andrew, and the quiet, supportive love from you, Shawn, was powerful. Being up front and forthright about how your relationship with Jesus has been your North Star was a blessing. Andrew, you will now be able to shepherd Shawn through this process when the time comes for her in ways that you never would have known before. Give yourself permission to grieve as long as you need. We love you as part of our big giant family of God.
So sorry about your dad Andrew but like you said God Is Good . And heaven got amazing man he is singing and watching your family and your his amazing bride . Prayers to your wonderful family.
I lost my mom on July 10, 2022. Even though we knew her time left on earth was limited, her Drs felt we would have one last Christmas together. God had other plans. I will always be grateful that I had gone to her house and fixed her hair 10 minutes before she died. I kissed her and told her how much I loved her. Her caregiver called me just as I pulled up in my driveway (5 minutes away from her house) and told me she was slumped over in her recliner non responsive. I still miss our daily phone calls and still catch myself calling her number on the way home from work.
I lost my mom at 16 yrs old almost 17 and she was only 44. Melanoma is not kind. It’s hard. You will struggle at different times and it’s okay. Give yourself grace. Just know he is in a beautiful place with his creator. He is always looking over you all. Hugs to you all during this hard time. Just know to keep moving forward because that is what he would want you to do. LIVE YOUR LIFE ❤🙏🤗
I lost my mom in 2017 and my dad in 2019. I equate grief to waves. Sometimes, the waves are gentle and just swell around your ankles, sometimes they are a little more intense, and so.etimes they swamp you and threaten to drag you under. You can't fight it, give in, let it come over you, and ride the swell. It will ease and you will be okay. My heart breaks for you and your family. God bless you all.
I'm three years in from losing my mom. Everything you are feeling, I still feel at random moments. However, I can say our faith in Jesus gives us comfort. There is a story in the Bible where King David lost his son, but He still got up and ate because he said his son could not come to him, but he could go to him. Knowing that promise of seeing his love one again someday, is I think God's way of keeping us uplifted and ready to continue our race. Hugs and prayers to you both. God Bless.
It has been 2 1/2 years since my dad passed. There are still many times it comes to my brain, oh I should tell or show dad. Then reality slaps me upside the head. Keep holding onto to God and your faith. For my dad it was not expected either. I know when my sister told me he passed I screamed. My husband said he hopes to never hear me do that again. God for sure helped me through it. The fact that my dad was absolutely with God in Heaven, helped so much. Andrew not a cry baby at all. You are totally being intentional with your thoughts and feeling. My dad took every opportunity to witness to others. Keep sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Lifting a prayer for the entire East family to have peace and strength during this difficult period.
❤ да,это больно,когда наши близкие уходят,но они там,где им хорошо и наша любовь к ним нас греет.Я собираю все те прекрасные моменты,все 37лет жизни с отцом в моем сердце.Иногда мне снится мой отец,эти сны светлые,интересные и это весточка от него.😊мое горе по отцу трансформировалось в грусть легкую,наполненную смыслом и любовью,коода я родила сына.пара всегда хотел,чтобы у него был еще один внук и вот пара умер,а внук родился❤❤❤ Поэтому я всегда говорю и верю в это: наши близкие всегда с нами нашими детьми,потому что в нас и в наших детях течет кровь наших родителей,предков😊Мой младший сын очень похож на моего отца,своего деда❤
I can't tell you how amazing this video is.
1. Seeing how supportive a spouse can be in such difficult times is beautiful. Watching Shawn in the way she loves and respects Andrew shows me what I have been missing.
2. Hearing Andrew work through his grief in such a thoughtful way gives me so much hope. That breakdown he takes on each statement is so emotional and yet perfect in its connection to the Lord.
3. The respect the two of them show for family, whether it be siblings or in-laws, is absolutely breathtaking. Having the ability to love and grieve with everyone in your family is a blessing and I truly enjoyed listening to you two talking about the way you did this.
You are a beautiful couple, and God will continue to bless your family.
I lost my Dad 11years ago he was 68 and my mom 5 years ago she was 72. Dad had cancer so expected and My mom was suddenly of a brain aneurism. I found her in the car. I recognize all the things you are saying and living through. Thank you for this. And the stages of grief are on going, Shawn is so right. I still have the dreams and trigger moments. Grief is a journey ❤️❤️. Sending love and prayers🙏🏻🙏🏻
Grief can strike you out of the blue. It can drop you to your knees.
Those steps you mention can happen at any time and in no order and happen over and over. I’ve found grief never ends (any form).
The first six weeks, it's like getting hit by a train. Your whole body hurts, plus a foot away from you. In my country, Romania, those who are of the Orthodox religion, do a parastas (which is a specific prayer) after the 6 weeks. All the 7 stages you mentioned, normally pass after 3 years. The problem comes in when in those 3 years there is another equally painful moment or another loss that you have to deal with. Be kind, be gentle with your whole family, even if it hurts, even if you want to revolt. You are a good person. Stay as you are. Shawn is wonderful as always.
Andrew, nothing is coincidence, it's all in God's timing. My sincerest condolences, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.✨🙏💖🙏✨
I'm so sorry that you lost your dad. I lost mine too, but much older. I fact, your dad was a year older than me. I hope my daughter dies not have to bear this kind of grief for a long time. We knew my dad was dying. My mom died in the hour I went out to get her medication. That was a shock I'm not over. You have handled this with grace, dignity and humor. It's all needed. Keep your family close. My deepest condolences. Your dad was a huge part of your world. ❤️
My heart aches for you. Loosing a parent is hard and there would be no devastating grief if there was no incredible, huge love!!! I pray the Lord will bless your whole family with peace and comfort. Thank you for your statement that God is good. He is all knowing and the word “coincidence” is not in His vocabulary. Andrew, everything that happened between you and your dad, in the past few months, was part of the Lord’s plan. The most beautiful part of that plan, in this loss stage of our lives, is that we will see our loved ones again! It doesn’t make it any easier for those of us left here on earth, but knowing we will see them again gives us reason to live in partnership with the Lord, so those who have gone before us will be proud. Your dad loves you and is watching over you and your family. Relish in that love as you find a new “normal” in your life. The only people who think there’s a time limit for grief, have never lost a piece of their heart.
I’m so sorry and praying for you all and your family. I’m praying for you all. I lost my grandma very suddenly in 1994, my freshman year of high school, 15 minutes later we got a call that my great- grandpa on the other side of our family which we were expecting, then the day after my grandmas visitation my boyfriend died in a car accident. To this day I get hit with a memory or something they are missing and I will break into tears. It just serves as a reminder that tomorrow isn’t promised and we should always tell those we love that we love them.
You two are the cutest couple. You discuss the best topics with all the rawness 🙏🏻❤️🌻🍁🍂Love both of you! ❤️
I’m watching this and feeling so grateful for my husband who stood beside me and comforted me while I ordered my mother’s ventilation to be shut off yesterday morning after she was declared brain dead from an aneurysm. I’m so sorry for your loss Andrew and Shawn. Our angels will make heaven a little sweeter.
It’s been nearly 7 years since I lost my dad and it still doesn’t seem real. Your dad visiting you in your dream is to let you know he’s ok I totally believe this.
All you can do is your best - a step at a time, a day at a time. My Dad had a heart attack and died suddenly. My Mother had dementia, and died by inches over about 8 years. The immediate shock of my Dad’s death was very painful, but with my Mom it was dying by inches. Give yourself time to grieve, and don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling that you took a step back some days. Hug each other, hug your kids, and feel this community’s support as well.
My Dad passed away 12 years ago, just 4 days before my 31st birthday. It was also Dec, 21st... Just 4 days before Christmas. My husband & I were devastated. We had to drive from Chicago to Texas to get to my family & the funeral, during the holidays. We cried the whole 28 hour drive there. We all felt my Dad drew us together for the holiday, that we otherwise wouldn't have been together for. Also, we'd been battling infertility & multiple miscarriages for 7 yrs up to that point... But after my Dad passed we naturally conceived & had 3 beautiful kids. I feel he is our Angel and had something to do with that. They each have a trait of his, especially my middle daughter is SO much like him. She says she sees him in our house ever since she was a baby, even though she never met him. Your dad will always be with you guys in spirit and I think the way you express your love and loss is just beautiful and amazing.
I agree about your interpretation of faith. I believe faith is not created for this type of situation, but I can’t imagine having to face this type of situation without faith. In the last 18 months, I have lost my husband unexpectedly, another family member to cancer, my dad to heart problems and my stepson unexpectedly. My faith reveals there is still purpose in my life and comforts me in my quiet times. God bless you and your family.
God bless you Andrew, Shawn, & your entire family. Thanks for your candor. Guy East is enjoying the ultimate eternal reward of a life well lived. Heaven is the ultimate exciting upgrade. I am a caretaker for my mom (my queen). Mom is making a slow extremely difficult transition where her health, mind, cognitive ability, vitality has shifted. Her wish was to die suddenly in her sleep while in great health. She wanted to Guy East it, lol. I'm so glad your dad got to live fully until the last moment before soaring high into heaven. God is always great and every thing happens according to his perfect timing and plan. Great people never die the legacy of love thrives for all eternity. Blessings and keep creating great content.😇🙏
I lost my mother 6 years ago. First days were very difficult. Will tell you that grief became less intense. However, I am ambushed with intense feelings o a regular basis. Something is said, sparks a memory, or brings up a memory and my feelings of grief are again deep and painful. May not last as long but still very real and intense. Just be ready to be ambushed by those feelings that you don’t see coming!
I wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss!! I will say, in losing my father about 6 years ago, I honestly believe it does get better… you never get over it but depending on your beliefs and knowing what your father believed you will get through this way better than those who are not believers. We have the hope of Christ and we know our loved one is in a place we long to be one day, a place better than anything he knew on this earth, which I’m positive was a wonderful life filled with love and joy from and with his family and friends!! Those who are not believers do not have the hope of a beautiful eternity with the Lord!!! It absolutely does get better.. but every now and then things creep up and we do get sad for a moment but then the joy of your fathers love and the memories of great times come back and take away the sadness again!!! Sending much Love to you and your family!!!
Guy was a good and faithful son. No one is perfect so sure he wasn’t perfect but man God used him and he knew it and he made sure he impacted people and he spoke from his heart and how it was received it was received but it then gave his family such a gift to have his perspective on mortality and that just proves your dad is good where he is and is just going to wait for his family to join him one day. Things don’t just happen, there is always a reason. I am fully aware there is more to us on earth. My brother passed when he was 5 a year before I was born and when I was 4 I unfortunately almost died I had a severe allergic reaction and I stopped breathing and in the hospital getting worked on I saw my brother. He didn’t say anything but shortly after I was back in my own body and started breathing. I’m 41 and remember that like it was yesterday it is permanently engrained in my mind and why my faith will never waiver. I may not always have full faith in myself but I do know there is heaven, there is a God and death is not to be feared. Side Note 📝 I’d like to live as long as possible but when the time comes I won’t be afraid. 🙂
I am so sorry for your loss. You have an amazing extended family. I lost two male family friends with the same heart situation. We were told it was one of the strange side effects of the virus injection. I rejoice with you that your father as well as my dear friends are in the presence of the Lord. You both are so precious and I love all that you represent. I will keep you in my prayer.
You can't overmemorialize your dad, Andrew! He is more alive then ever in heaven! Keep letting your heart speak of you dad and bless his life! Thank you for sharing! It blessed me! 💞🙏
Yes to all of this!!! Being the "in-law" you just want to help and be there for everyone. I know how it feels, I lost both of my parents in 4 years, my dad in 2018 and my mom in 2021 and then I ended up losing my Father in law not even a year after my mom passed. I was the rock for my husband, sister-in-law and Mother-in-law as well and planned most of his funeral because they could not, I did not want to show my emotions because I knew they needed me but at his wake I lost it when the police department gave their final salute to him and I just could not hold it back. You are never going to get over losing them but it does get easier but you will think of them every day no matter what.
I ve watched this again...Again
.again..
Thank You...
Shawn...You really gave me a truly more emotions. Still hard.
Andrew i love how you had such a great relationship with your dad. I envy that because i never had that. You're so lucky to have the time you had with him and to have the love of a father. I also love your perspective and how you talked through your emotions. I find that you have a deeper way of thinking and i think you got that from your dad. Because it seems like your dad had a lot of depth and was a visionary. Its so amazing to see how when one person emanates so much good, they can impact so many people. Your dad raised you well. We need more men and fathers like this in the world
My dad passed away at 49 years old , i was 21 yo and miss him every day im 57 yo😢 you learn to live with pain and loss😢 so sorry. My he rest in heavenly peace.
I lost my dad in 1998, in 2028 it will be 30 years, and I still find myself grieving that loss. Anger, depression, resentment that my kids never got to know the most incredible man I was blessed being a part of. It's a real struggle, and I feel like it will be constant. Many blessing on your journey of grief.
Grief comes in all stages and can hit at any time. There are no rules on how you grieve. Our son passed away 15 years ago and today my heart hurts as much as the day he passed. Life goes on and you have to learn to navigate through the loss. Praying for your family.
I understand- I lost my Dad and it’s the most pain I’ve ever felt. It’s so final and unexpected. My dad was 63 and he was making plans and we were making plans with him and he was a huge part of my everyday life always and the heartbreak was so deep - I thought I’d never stop crying. My Dad was someone everyone loved but like you said it’s surreal that the rest of the world has gone on and it’s like “ don’t you know?” My world is ending”, I don’t think you “ get over it” as much as you learn to live with the pain. I want to just be happy when I talk about my dad but I always cry. It’s a long process. I’m sincerely sorry for your tremendous loss.
Watching this three weeks after I lost my dad. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your thoughts and how you're processing everything. How blessed are we to know that our dads are in heaven with Jesus. That is what has given me peace through this sad time.
I pray you are also doing ok with Jesus and support in your loss❤
So sorry for your loss. Grief is a long process. Only time will give you acceptance of no longer having your loved one. Memories will be your most valuable treasure.
Andrew there's no right or wrong way to mourn. Do what you are moved to do.
Thank you, for sharing your most inner thoughts, and feelings, as you process , such an enormous loss.
🙏❤️🙏
I remember the doctor calling me around 3am on January 16, 2021 to tell me that my husband had died. I told our 9 year old son later that morning. We talk about him every day and miss him very much. Please never take your loved ones for granted
I lost my dad 15 years ago. He had cancer and though death may seem like a given he was undergoing a stem cell transplant and expected to recover. I will say I miss him so much, and that hurt never goes away. You just get more use to the idea of it.
Grief is absolutely not a linear process. You can feel all different stages of grief in one day. There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve either. To find an answer and resolute yourself to one stage restricts and shouldn’t be part of grief. Let yourself feel how you feel in that moment. All the love for you and your family.
The shock and sadness doesn’t go away. Be careful with yourself. Cherish every thought and keep his legacy alive for your children. Grief is fluid. You can be in each phase simultaneously. ((hugs))
I have no idea how you are doing this episode. When my mom died I was absolutely destroyed and cried everyday for a solid year. thank you for sharing.
I'm so sorry Andrew. What a beautiful example he was for all. God is in the center