Meanwhile being pretty is lonely AF 😅. People be like "youre too pretty for mental health issues" WHET?!?!? Just tell my brain and my bacground that 🙏🏾😊
Once at work, I wore a dress that was dress code appropriate, but happened to be tight fitting and I got pulled to the side and lectured by an older woman manager about my outfit. Meanwhile there were at least 5-10 other older, heavier, not stereotypically attractive women wearing very revealing outfits not in dress code and were never “talked to”. We are under a microscope…
Exactly ! I have been reported at work multiple times including when I was wearing a PANTS SUIT! how TF did I get reported for pants? They were just mad because I have a shapely butt while being thin lol 😂
I have been accused of thinking ‘I’m all that’ and asked “who do you think you are” since forever…I’ve also been called arrogant and haughty. I’m literally just minding my business. Sometimes the visibility gets overwhelming because people feel entitled to you. When you put boundaries up, people get triggered.
This. I literally had to report the security on campus at my university, because they were openly bullying me, and when asked why the two female guards said I was rude because I didn’t speak to nobody. Mind you, I went to a university that has over 50,000 students. Thousands entering the library everyday, but their worried about me.
I was working at a bank. During my first week, I didn't put some documents away correctly, so my coworker, who never spoke to me, thought it was okay to snatch them from my hand. One day, a customer stared at me after I gave her what she had requested. I asked her, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" She said, "Have you ever thought you were too pretty to work at a bank?"
But the crazy thing is that when women come up on social media and jokingly say “I’m too pretty to work“ here come all the red pill maniacs, ready to bark and foam at the mouth about “modern women.” It’s OK for everyone else to tell women that they’re pretty but pretty woman can’t say that they’re pretty.
This literally happens to me at work… This one lady literally told me that I was saying hello offensively, because I said it “dry”, so I was rude. Girls never complimenting me. Asking everybody in the room their plans but me. Complimenting other women’s outfits, when at one point they all were trying to dress like me. So much so, that our manager actually called one of the girls out and said “What happened? You raided CC’s closet or something?” Then the other day, our CEO saw me, and he was like “Wow, you look gorgeous. You look like a model” lol.
People largely dehumanize attractive people. They demand god-like behavior from us and it’s overwhelming. When we don’t measure up to their expectations then they are disappointed and discard us. We’ve shattered their fantasy. That being said, I feel safe here ❤
They don’t want us to know how pretty we are! lol. Even some relationship partners! It’s a tactic to break a woman down, in hopes of her not cheating or moving-on easily!
So true👏🏽 my husband never compliments me but everyone and everywhere I go I always get lots of compliments on how beautiful I am or how pretty I am so it’s true, I already know I’m way out of his league and in the beginning of my relationship I was always done up and he would encourage me to never wear makeup and I looked better natural so I did but I would notice him looking at bitches all done up like how I was when I met him🤔🤭 🤦🏽♀️fucken liar🙄I never realised what he was doing until now but hey I’m back to being my fine ass self and I won’t be downplaying myself to make his ugly ass feel comfortable 😂
Don't be perfect. People who demand that of others are lazy! They want you to do their work basically. Be yourself! Anyone who spouts that crap is a loser!
Being pretty is very isolating especially if you are a sensitive person as well because people go out of their way to attack you, so you just give up on most things and keep to yourself to feel safe and healthy.
I have felt this way ALL of my life. So glad I finally found a community of people who can relate…. People treat me like I’m “too pretty” to have any problems or to make any mistakes. I’m trying to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect, and learn to validate myself and love myself wholeheartedly.
2:17 i’m definitely trying to unlearn this defense machanism of oversharing and being self deprecating to make others comfortable. all it’s done is make my self esteem go down and it usually leaves others to just stare at me stunned at the awkward confession.
i get angry customers at salons, and family members being upset i cut my hair into a bob everytime my hair gets to my back. 🤷♀️ not my fault your hair doesn’t grow so i should just grow it long even though no one has to deal with it but me lol
I don’t wear makeup, and there have been so many times I’ve been asked that, and when I responded no, they would respond back with “well you’re wearing lipgloss.” 😂 I knew they were coming from a place of insecurity but it would confuse me to the point I would think maybe lipgloss is technically makeup. I didn’t want them feeling even more insecure, BUT NOW, I’m going to make them feel like the ugly creatures they are😂
@@HOPEUGWU-xc1ew Yes and I honestly hate it’s like that, really I do. I wouldn’t want women feeling inferior or see me as superior because no one is better than anyone, but the way I’ve been bullied, etc., it’s just left zero room for me to care or sympathize now because even when I tried “humbling” myself they still weren’t happy so now I’m just going to do me and if that steps on toes, oh well! Not my problem!!
@@Exoticlightskinn Girl, I get it. You didn't ask for this. I do Unfortunately, they don't care. Not with their wrong misconceptions or stereotypes about you. You don't win, I've learnt. Whether you downplay it or not. And I can definitely see why a lot of pretty girls don't have friends. I've accepted all this and telling myself I might as well profit from all this and associate myself with pretty girls only. I like to think they're more understanding since they go through the same challenges and are less likely to be jealous or envious since they're beautiful too. I vet to make sure they've decentered men or it'll be drama Take care of you 💐 You already shine, the choice to shine brighter is yours 😉 You can leave them blind if you choose 💅
Example of different versions of pretty: With dark hair, I'm viewed as being nerdy and quirky. With blonde hair and that same personality, I'm viewed as dumb and bimbo 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏼♀️
That's crazy. I'm sitting here listening and it's making me think back when people have pointed out my physical flaws with no hesitation...and I'm not talking about joking or roasting. These "flaws" I didn't even notice my damn self! And yes...people do feel entitled to smiles and greetings. I remember I would pass this lady everyday at work, but she would never say anything...just stare. One day when I walked passed I gave a genuine smile and she actually said "Thank you." I was like...huh? You mean to tell me this is all cuz of being pretty???? I've had people tell me that I don't know how pretty I am. Looks were never a big deal to me. Light, dark, tall, skinny, fat, short. I'll talk to anyone as long as I'm being respected!!!!
@@dreamchaser7603 Yea, you're right. I'm coming out of being so naive...lol. But, that's how I know for sure that I'm not being biased. It does serve a purpose. So, I might still hold on to some of it unless it's all out war or something. 🙂🙃
I was watching the Love is Blind reunion yesterday and there's this pretty girl on this season named Jessica and when another girl spoke about her she basically said that it's hard to believe that someone who looks like Jessica can also be such an amazing person because she's pretty and nice.
I do think ppl put a lot of pressure on pretty & attractive women to be perfect inside & out. It’s frustrating when you are going through things but you gotta stay strong & be an example for others….like we are human.
I deal with this and have dealt with this since I was a teen. The pressure the hate the stress the wanting you to be perfect the pedestal the wanting you to be a prized show horse, the wanting you to be in perfection mode is silly and not being treated as a human is RIDICULOUS! the depression it all gives is too much. The pretty privilege that comes from it is not worth my mental health. We don’t ask to look any type of way. Beyoncé sang it best ‘Pretty Hurts’ in more ways than one
Yes, they want us to be perfect and call out any imperfection immediately. That is why I am defensive and quick with my tongue, but sometimes it is uncalled for. Just so used to having my flaws or my confidence called out (“you think you cute?”) or minor mistakes at work (stupid old karens)
😅 It’s interesting that your first example is singing… I remember a UDS girl kept trying to coax me into a singing contest with her even though I told her I couldn’t sing. After she finally gave up, she started making fun of me not being able to sing- even other people who couldn’t sing joined in. It was so random…
This reminds me of a similar thing that happened to me. One day on the school bus, a (darkskinned) girl invited me to sing. I sung very poorly and she made fun of me to her friends
Yup sometimes they like to set you up to do something they KNOW you have less experience in so you can be the “mediocre” one, just a pretty face, etc. I noticed that’s what people thought of Beyoncé at first when destiny’s child was out. It reminds me of what they’re doing to Tyla right now . Saying she’s an ok singer , ok dancer, and ok performer .
I also have a similar situation but it’s people telling me I can’t sing and I should give up because they knew that’s what I wanted to do. Anything I tried to do people shot it down.
I dealt with this today and yesterday at my job. I work with women who don't maintain themselves. As soon as I make a mistake the announce it like I'm not human and don't make mistakes. This video speak truths. People who are attractive deal with a lot from these weirdos.
I've worked with a lot of weirdos. I've had to be nice to them for my own protection. 2 tried to ask me out on dates(women). Those same women would compete with me in front of attractive men. I had to leave for my own safety and sanity.
Remember when Kimbella got attacked by Chrissy on Love and Hip Hop New York? The first thing Kimbella said was "I'm still pretty."😂 I remind myself of that scene whenever people try to make me feel bad.
Crazy how much bullying in itself has gotten n trend. The music is bullies bullying, the vibe acts like there can only be one woman in any area, it’s too much it’s hard to navigate today bc people literally don’t let u breathe
Finding this channel was so healing for me. It really helped me contextualize a lot of the treatment I got growing up. My mom grew up in a very masculine environment and was rewarded for masculinizing herself, but is also a conventionally attractive MLS. She tried to live vicariously through me and my sisters, and was very envious of our femininity. We would get criticized for being too "soft" or "sensitive", were expected to always be working extremely hard, and constantly had our looks insulted and scrutinized. We also got told we were spoiled and stuck up quite often, even by other family members. It really sucks that we got that from our own mom, and it definitely warped our view of ourselves growing up. I'm really glad I have this space that understands what I went through.
Comment #2 everything she is saying I was literally telling my self as I was driving just trying to uplift myself after some one tried to use so many humbling tactics against me I am facing this ALL right now . I’m glad it’s not all in my head it’s really happening
This is the best channel I've ever subscribed to in my life. I'm 44 years old, and this channel has validated damn near every single thing I've experienced in my life. You have no idea how much your channel is helping me with my mental and emotional health right now.
U are right 100%...i remember being diagnosed with fungal Acne.. people really tore me down.. like it was so bad, i had to wear a resting bitch face and i started being selective of people that i talk to..when my face cleared, people were shocked! Like they thought my face was permanently damaged..but everything cleared and left no scars.. I'm very sure a lot of people were unhappy because of that.
I cut off an old bsf because of this exact reason. She thought just because I was “pretty” (her words not mine) I wasn’t prone to being cheated on and being very hurt because of it. In her little (yes “little” because no one in their right mind would ever) UABW brain truly thought because I’m pretty I have some super powers to be cheated on, lies to and player repellent.
i got hit on today at work 50 times , men thought because they find me so beautiful because i own them by Beauty ahhh! well say is just so pathetic , and that’s so true people be so surprise when they see me gain weight or have pimples just normal human Things! this Topic was super Good!
Dude that promiscuous one goes crazy, I was a virgin (and still am) and I lie and say my body count was 2 and this guy goes “you mean 22?” Well…no! So it’s like men have this ideal for what they want but when a woman is that they don’t even believe it lmao
I have literally experienced this so many times 7:01 If I had a T shirt for Everytime I heard “Oh you think you’re better than me!! Well seeing as your saying it Yes I do!!” Snap 100% I resonate with this
Exactly and if u use your looks to get out of the situation they’ll judge you and say oh u used only your looks but when I had my looks in the hood they do act like ur not supposed to be there. N u should be out using your looks instead of bieng at a normal job
When MLS ppl get acne or have a bad day, ppl get happy. I hate to say this but, some women in the blk community say that an MLS woman who is in a relationship with a bm, they say we "Pay dearly" or being a "preference didn't save you" as if MLS women automatically think we are going to be treated better going in.. When nobody wants a dysfunctional relationship, but they will say tht we deserve it because we think we are better than uabw when thats not the case, we just date or socialize with ppl in our environment.
Very profound subject. This should be academically studied. Ty for yr service to this community. I think you are making huge waves and empowering these beautiful women who have been pushed down and under a microscope since forever
Honestly, and this is no offense to men but insecure men are the worst towards attractive women. I can handle the women who are haters because I understand what's happening (it's still not excusable) but men will try to tear a pretty woman down hust for being human. (10:51 and when a pretty girl gets her bag I cheer her on ^-^)
Yes 🙌 this is what happen to me a couple of days ago people love to compliment and some one has to say oh but she has a big head ( my face shape is square ) I love it but people try to weaponize it and make me feel ugly but they are the same one saying I’m beautiful it’s the same people that try to be like me that dislike me so much they almost feel like oh we need to make her feel bad so that she doesn’t know how pretty she is or they say she knows she pretty so me saying this is how I can make her feel less than . Then get mad when I don’t react 😅
I have had that happen to me when I was a cashier. It was always by men. And they were always accusatory, they were always accusing me of something, like one guy said, I bet your life has been easy and when I said actually nk it hasn't, he said don't lie. I felt so attacked. And no, my life has been pretty hard, actually. I didn't even know that guy.
Yeeeeeooooo I’m only a quarter in and you have validated so many things in my life…. Unfortunately the damage is done. I am so self-deprecating at this point I can’t take a compliment from a stranger. I have so many thoughts racing but one thing that keeps coming to mind is this one time I said “I think I have thick ankles I might even say cankles” (I really don’t but compare to my friends I have thick legs) and my one friend could not let it go she literally kept going on and on and was fixating “yeah you do have cankles” and was telling everyone as if it was a gotcha moment.
They always asking me why you ain’t got a man I don’t decenter men and they hate me for that like they need to chill it’s not that serious like calm down stop focusing on my life
Im a whole ass man, and I agree with every word. As a gay black man who is good looking, I’ve had all kinds of micro aggressions from people who said they were my friends. I wear sweats and people are shocked, I wear a blazer and I’m acting like money. I was too naive when I was younger to understand what was going on, but this vid is straight facts. I’ve always wondered why people expected so much from me and weaponized their disappointment against me.
people will straight up sabotage you, because they figure you have pretty privilege... they're like, let me just steal her husband who is her soulmate and whom she loves with all her heart, because she's pretty and can just get a new one >.
And if men would allow us to not let it be such a big factor then stop the bs! You could be the richest most successful most giving person in the world and if you’re not pretty or young too they act like you don’t matter and it sounds bad but now that we’re having this talk let’s get into it forreal.
Because let’s talk about why when people talk bad about celebrities and then they give in like Chloe when they were saying she wasn’t as pretty as beyonce and this and that and she addressed it and showed she was a human being then she was less popular and less interesting bc they think it a a game a social ladder and it’s a projection from men bc they have that built on survival thing that if ur broke ur nobody so they project it onto woman and that’s why we feel like if ur born pretty it’s a curse and if you’re not you’ve lost their game.
And how they expected her to just be beyonce and more bc bey is the one who mentored her but male in music industry be all up under eachother mentored by all the guys in the gang and they don’t compare they unite… look at how they do with the girls…. Comparison depletes creativity. Have to protect eachother bc the world has always been out to get us ever since eve ate the apple and nobody knows if that’s the truth either but you know how it goes, long as you’re a woman and attractive they’ll believe anything said about you. As long as it’s negative
I resonate with your channel however I disagree when you say that in order to be a pretty black woman you have to be mixed race or white passing. That’s crazy. First of all mixed race women are not black women. Beautiful black women of all shades do face the same types of experiences if very attractive.
first of all i never said "in order to be a pretty black woman you have to be mixed or white passing," i don't even speak like that, nor am i stupid enough to use those types of phrases as I would be banned from youtube. secondly, how could i gain thousands of subscribers with that type of rhetoric? you're putting words in my mouth and projecting your own thoughts on to me. secondly, i never said that unambiguous black women cannot face the same experiences i talk about on this channel, so thats another thing you assumed i said. just because black women go through similar things doesn't mean that we are banned from talking about them over here. UABW have their exclusive spaces, and now ABW have ours. THIS CHANNEL WILL ALWAYS CENTER MIXED AND ABW OF ALL COMPLEXIONS. if you don't like that i've given us an exclusive space to discuss things while making ourselves the center of the conversation, this is not the channel for you. THIS CHANNEL WAS NOT CREATED TO BE RELATABLE TO UNAMBIGUOUS BLACK WOMEN. you guys have thousands of content creators. feel free to watch their content or block me so that i no longer show up in your algorithm. Stay pretty, EU
Meanwhile being pretty is lonely AF 😅. People be like "youre too pretty for mental health issues" WHET?!?!? Just tell my brain and my bacground that 🙏🏾😊
💯💯
omg yes! that’s a another one
@@labelmeposhpeople say this to me and it’s so annoying, I’m human too
Loool exactly
Yeah the whole, “what do you have to be depressed about” mess is crazy to me. I don’t get it.
Once at work, I wore a dress that was dress code appropriate, but happened to be tight fitting and I got pulled to the side and lectured by an older woman manager about my outfit. Meanwhile there were at least 5-10 other older, heavier, not stereotypically attractive women wearing very revealing outfits not in dress code and were never “talked to”. We are under a microscope…
Exactly ! I have been reported at work multiple times including when I was wearing a PANTS SUIT! how TF did I get reported for pants? They were just mad because I have a shapely butt while being thin lol 😂
I have been accused of thinking ‘I’m all that’ and asked “who do you think you are” since forever…I’ve also been called arrogant and haughty. I’m literally just minding my business. Sometimes the visibility gets overwhelming because people feel entitled to you. When you put boundaries up, people get triggered.
This. I literally had to report the security on campus at my university, because they were openly bullying me, and when asked why the two female guards said I was rude because I didn’t speak to nobody. Mind you, I went to a university that has over 50,000 students. Thousands entering the library everyday, but their worried about me.
I was working at a bank. During my first week, I didn't put some documents away correctly, so my coworker, who never spoke to me, thought it was okay to snatch them from my hand. One day, a customer stared at me after I gave her what she had requested. I asked her, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" She said, "Have you ever thought you were too pretty to work at a bank?"
lololol, that's real. she should get you a modelling contract then. :D
But the crazy thing is that when women come up on social media and jokingly say “I’m too pretty to work“ here come all the red pill maniacs, ready to bark and foam at the mouth about “modern women.”
It’s OK for everyone else to tell women that they’re pretty but pretty woman can’t say that they’re pretty.
This literally happens to me at work…
This one lady literally told me that I was saying hello offensively, because I said it “dry”, so I was rude. Girls never complimenting me. Asking everybody in the room their plans but me. Complimenting other women’s outfits, when at one point they all were trying to dress like me. So much so, that our manager actually called one of the girls out and said “What happened? You raided CC’s closet or something?” Then the other day, our CEO saw me, and he was like “Wow, you look gorgeous. You look like a model” lol.
If you're ever interested in making a new friend,let me know!I live in Georgia.
😂 I know she was embarrassed!
@@food4thought692haha right
People largely dehumanize attractive people. They demand god-like behavior from us and it’s overwhelming. When we don’t measure up to their expectations then they are disappointed and discard us. We’ve shattered their fantasy.
That being said, I feel safe here ❤
THIS!
They don’t want us to know how pretty we are! lol. Even some relationship partners! It’s a tactic to break a woman down, in hopes of her not cheating or moving-on easily!
So true👏🏽 my husband never compliments me but everyone and everywhere I go I always get lots of compliments on how beautiful I am or how pretty I am so it’s true, I already know I’m
way out of his league
and in the beginning of my relationship I was always done up and he would encourage me to never wear makeup and I looked better natural so I did but I would notice him looking at bitches all done up like how I was when I met him🤔🤭 🤦🏽♀️fucken liar🙄I never realised what he was doing until now but hey I’m back to being my fine ass self and I won’t be downplaying myself to make his ugly ass feel comfortable 😂
Don't be perfect. People who demand that of others are lazy! They want you to do their work basically. Be yourself! Anyone who spouts that crap is a loser!
Being pretty is very isolating especially if you are a sensitive person as well because people go out of their way to attack you, so you just give up on most things and keep to yourself to feel safe and healthy.
Yes
I have felt this way ALL of my life. So glad I finally found a community of people who can relate…. People treat me like I’m “too pretty” to have any problems or to make any mistakes. I’m trying to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect, and learn to validate myself and love myself wholeheartedly.
Exactly !
same
Some men will criticize you if you're beautiful and single, or not married to a millionaire.
„People feel like they’re entitled to beauty“- Facts!!
2:17 i’m definitely trying to unlearn this defense machanism of oversharing and being self deprecating to make others comfortable.
all it’s done is make my self esteem go down and it usually leaves others to just stare at me stunned at the awkward confession.
i get angry customers at salons, and family members being upset i cut my hair into a bob everytime my hair gets to my back. 🤷♀️ not my fault your hair doesn’t grow so i should just grow it long even though no one has to deal with it but me lol
I don’t wear makeup, and there have been so many times I’ve been asked that, and when I responded no, they would respond back with “well you’re wearing lipgloss.” 😂 I knew they were coming from a place of insecurity but it would confuse me to the point I would think maybe lipgloss is technically makeup. I didn’t want them feeling even more insecure, BUT NOW, I’m going to make them feel like the ugly creatures they are😂
Oppress them girl ! Your presence alone is intimidating without doing or saying anything; I've observed. How crazy
@@HOPEUGWU-xc1ew Yes and I honestly hate it’s like that, really I do. I wouldn’t want women feeling inferior or see me as superior because no one is better than anyone, but the way I’ve been bullied, etc., it’s just left zero room for me to care or sympathize now because even when I tried “humbling” myself they still weren’t happy so now I’m just going to do me and if that steps on toes, oh well! Not my problem!!
@@Exoticlightskinn Girl, I get it. You didn't ask for this. I do
Unfortunately, they don't care. Not with their wrong misconceptions or stereotypes about you. You don't win, I've learnt. Whether you downplay it or not. And I can definitely see why a lot of pretty girls don't have friends.
I've accepted all this and telling myself I might as well profit from all this and associate myself with pretty girls only. I like to think they're more understanding since they go through the same challenges and are less likely to be jealous or envious since they're beautiful too. I vet to make sure they've decentered men or it'll be drama
Take care of you 💐
You already shine, the choice to shine brighter is yours 😉
You can leave them blind if you choose 💅
They do this to pretty babies too. They have to look perfect at all times. No skin rash , hair has to be neat etc
OMG yes!! My baby was cute but his nose was too big, they said
oh my that’s insanity!
Example of different versions of pretty:
With dark hair, I'm viewed as being nerdy and quirky.
With blonde hair and that same personality, I'm viewed as dumb and bimbo 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏼♀️
Right 😂 you get to pick and choose which beauty archetype you want to play into!
This is true. I was harassed at work , the ring leader told me I looked like high class call girl. 🙄
🫢 Naw… she was projecting about what she would do if she had your beauty.
Absolutely tf not. Those are damn near fighting words.
@@Music45387Exactly
@@ChaChaWitYa trust me, it was a struggle everyday but like the girl was saying they just want to see you come out of character.
@@Youalreadyknowthis I’m glad you kept your composure
That's crazy. I'm sitting here listening and it's making me think back when people have pointed out my physical flaws with no hesitation...and I'm not talking about joking or roasting. These "flaws" I didn't even notice my damn self! And yes...people do feel entitled to smiles and greetings. I remember I would pass this lady everyday at work, but she would never say anything...just stare. One day when I walked passed I gave a genuine smile and she actually said "Thank you." I was like...huh? You mean to tell me this is all cuz of being pretty???? I've had people tell me that I don't know how pretty I am. Looks were never a big deal to me. Light, dark, tall, skinny, fat, short. I'll talk to anyone as long as I'm being respected!!!!
Well, most people are not like that!! They’ve evil. You’re not only pretty, you’re kind and naive…
@@dreamchaser7603 Yea, you're right. I'm coming out of being so naive...lol. But, that's how I know for sure that I'm not being biased. It does serve a purpose. So, I might still hold on to some of it unless it's all out war or something. 🙂🙃
I was watching the Love is Blind reunion yesterday and there's this pretty girl on this season named Jessica and when another girl spoke about her she basically said that it's hard to believe that someone who looks like Jessica can also be such an amazing person because she's pretty and nice.
I caught onto that
Wore red lipstick today. Got the door held open for me all day, had an UABW laugh at me, too 😅
Doing it again tomorrow.
Omg yay! I’m almost out of my red lipstick so I’m about to get a hot pink one soon for spring/summer ! 😍
@@ExoticalsUnited nice! I'm building up to that shade lol
I do think ppl put a lot of pressure on pretty & attractive women to be perfect inside & out. It’s frustrating when you are going through things but you gotta stay strong & be an example for others….like we are human.
I deal with this and have dealt with this since I was a teen. The pressure the hate the stress the wanting you to be perfect the pedestal the wanting you to be a prized show horse, the wanting you to be in perfection mode is silly and not being treated as a human is RIDICULOUS! the depression it all gives is too much. The pretty privilege that comes from it is not worth my mental health. We don’t ask to look any type of way. Beyoncé sang it best ‘Pretty Hurts’ in more ways than one
Yes, they want us to be perfect and call out any imperfection immediately. That is why I am defensive and quick with my tongue, but sometimes it is uncalled for. Just so used to having my flaws or my confidence called out (“you think you cute?”) or minor mistakes at work (stupid old karens)
😅 It’s interesting that your first example is singing… I remember a UDS girl kept trying to coax me into a singing contest with her even though I told her I couldn’t sing. After she finally gave up, she started making fun of me not being able to sing- even other people who couldn’t sing joined in.
It was so random…
This reminds me of a similar thing that happened to me. One day on the school bus, a (darkskinned) girl invited me to sing. I sung very poorly and she made fun of me to her friends
@@goldenhoney697 😅 Why do other people think that all beautiful women can sing??? They watch too much tv! 🤣
Yup sometimes they like to set you up to do something they KNOW you have less experience in so you can be the “mediocre” one, just a pretty face, etc. I noticed that’s what people thought of Beyoncé at first when destiny’s child was out. It reminds me of what they’re doing to Tyla right now . Saying she’s an ok singer , ok dancer, and ok performer .
I also have a similar situation but it’s people telling me I can’t sing and I should give up because they knew that’s what I wanted to do. Anything I tried to do people shot it down.
I dealt with this today and yesterday at my job. I work with women who don't maintain themselves. As soon as I make a mistake the announce it like I'm not human and don't make mistakes. This video speak truths. People who are attractive deal with a lot from these weirdos.
I've worked with a lot of weirdos. I've had to be nice to them for my own protection. 2 tried to ask me out on dates(women). Those same women would compete with me in front of attractive men. I had to leave for my own safety and sanity.
People always mentioning my weight and I’m always like I’m still pretty
Remember when Kimbella got attacked by Chrissy on Love and Hip Hop New York? The first thing Kimbella said was "I'm still pretty."😂 I remind myself of that scene whenever people try to make me feel bad.
@@starrjohnson1327 omg yes the same for me to
Crazy how much bullying in itself has gotten n trend. The music is bullies bullying, the vibe acts like there can only be one woman in any area, it’s too much it’s hard to navigate today bc people literally don’t let u breathe
Finding this channel was so healing for me. It really helped me contextualize a lot of the treatment I got growing up. My mom grew up in a very masculine environment and was rewarded for masculinizing herself, but is also a conventionally attractive MLS. She tried to live vicariously through me and my sisters, and was very envious of our femininity. We would get criticized for being too "soft" or "sensitive", were expected to always be working extremely hard, and constantly had our looks insulted and scrutinized. We also got told we were spoiled and stuck up quite often, even by other family members. It really sucks that we got that from our own mom, and it definitely warped our view of ourselves growing up. I'm really glad I have this space that understands what I went through.
Comment #2 everything she is saying I was literally telling my self as I was driving just trying to uplift myself after some one tried to use so many humbling tactics against me I am facing this ALL right now . I’m glad it’s not all in my head it’s really happening
“What are you doing here?” This happened to me in grad school. Smh.
This is the best channel I've ever subscribed to in my life. I'm 44 years old, and this channel has validated damn near every single thing I've experienced in my life. You have no idea how much your channel is helping me with my mental and emotional health right now.
Wow that’s amazing ! 😻
U are right 100%...i remember being diagnosed with fungal Acne.. people really tore me down.. like it was so bad, i had to wear a resting bitch face and i started being selective of people that i talk to..when my face cleared, people were shocked! Like they thought my face was permanently damaged..but everything cleared and left no scars.. I'm very sure a lot of people were unhappy because of that.
I cut off an old bsf because of this exact reason. She thought just because I was “pretty” (her words not mine) I wasn’t prone to being cheated on and being very hurt because of it. In her little (yes “little” because no one in their right mind would ever) UABW brain truly thought because I’m pretty I have some super powers to be cheated on, lies to and player repellent.
The assumptions people make and project onto others is insane and very telling
If you drive a Honda,Camry,or Kia,they expect you to drive a BMW,Camaro Vert,or a Mustang,especially if you're curvy.
i got hit on today at work 50 times , men thought because they find me so beautiful because i own them by Beauty ahhh! well say is just so pathetic , and that’s so true people be so surprise when they see me gain weight or have pimples just normal human Things!
this Topic was super Good!
People are gross. I just subscribed tho, girl. Keep doing you 💜
Dude that promiscuous one goes crazy, I was a virgin (and still am) and I lie and say my body count was 2 and this guy goes “you mean 22?” Well…no! So it’s like men have this ideal for what they want but when a woman is that they don’t even believe it lmao
I have literally experienced this so many times 7:01
If I had a T shirt for Everytime I heard “Oh you think you’re better than me!!
Well seeing as your saying it Yes I do!!” Snap 100% I resonate with this
Exactly and if u use your looks to get out of the situation they’ll judge you and say oh u used only your looks but when I had my looks in the hood they do act like ur not supposed to be there. N u should be out using your looks instead of bieng at a normal job
When MLS ppl get acne or have a bad day, ppl get happy.
I hate to say this but, some women in the blk community say that an MLS woman who is in a relationship with a bm, they say we "Pay dearly" or being a "preference didn't save you" as if MLS women automatically think we are going to be treated better going in.. When nobody wants a dysfunctional relationship, but they will say tht we deserve it because we think we are better than uabw when thats not the case, we just date or socialize with ppl in our environment.
Very profound subject. This should be academically studied. Ty for yr service to this community. I think you are making huge waves and empowering these beautiful women who have been pushed down and under a microscope since forever
Yes! Beautiful women need a safe space too ❤️
Honestly, and this is no offense to men but insecure men are the worst towards attractive women. I can handle the women who are haters because I understand what's happening (it's still not excusable) but men will try to tear a pretty woman down hust for being human. (10:51 and when a pretty girl gets her bag I cheer her on ^-^)
Yes 🙌 this is what happen to me a couple of days ago people love to compliment and some one has to say oh but she has a big head ( my face shape is square ) I love it but people try to weaponize it and make me feel ugly but they are the same one saying I’m beautiful it’s the same people that try to be like me that dislike me so much they almost feel like oh we need to make her feel bad so that she doesn’t know how pretty she is or they say she knows she pretty so me saying this is how I can make her feel less than . Then get mad when I don’t react 😅
I have had that happen to me when I was a cashier. It was always by men. And they were always accusatory, they were always accusing me of something, like one guy said, I bet your life has been easy and when I said actually nk it hasn't, he said don't lie. I felt so attacked. And no, my life has been pretty hard, actually. I didn't even know that guy.
Yeeeeeooooo I’m only a quarter in and you have validated so many things in my life…. Unfortunately the damage is done. I am so self-deprecating at this point I can’t take a compliment from a stranger.
I have so many thoughts racing but one thing that keeps coming to mind is this one time I said “I think I have thick ankles I might even say cankles” (I really don’t but compare to my friends I have thick legs) and my one friend could not let it go she literally kept going on and on and was fixating “yeah you do have cankles” and was telling everyone as if it was a gotcha moment.
Got fired for my job today, my boss wanted me to be perfect on the job.
They always asking me why you ain’t got a man I don’t decenter men and they hate me for that like they need to chill it’s not that serious like calm down stop focusing on my life
Can you do a video on men that do this as well ? To pretty / beautiful girls ?
Oooooh yes that’s a great topic !
You are so wise and on point I love this page!!!
TRADWIFE BEAUTY!!!APTTMH!!!❤❤❤❤
Im a whole ass man, and I agree with every word. As a gay black man who is good looking, I’ve had all kinds of micro aggressions from people who said they were my friends. I wear sweats and people are shocked, I wear a blazer and I’m acting like money. I was too naive when I was younger to understand what was going on, but this vid is straight facts. I’ve always wondered why people expected so much from me and weaponized their disappointment against me.
people will straight up sabotage you, because they figure you have pretty privilege... they're like, let me just steal her husband who is her soulmate and whom she loves with all her heart, because she's pretty and can just get a new one >.
Lmfao they do it to bring you down. A-holes.
I'm going to be a billionaire with my billion dollar ideas & my business plans.
7:09 🎯🎯🎯
You put your foot in this video.
Thank you for sharing this ❤
Preach!! 🙌🏼
I think l recognize your voice from TikTok 😍 I’m so happy i found you again
oh wow! yay! im glad you found this page! 🤭
FIRST ❤️
I have twenty cousins, and they never compliment me, except for one aunt or two .. Am I the pretty one or the ugly one? I was always confused by this.
Wow wow wow🗣️
❤💖
And if men would allow us to not let it be such a big factor then stop the bs! You could be the richest most successful most giving person in the world and if you’re not pretty or young too they act like you don’t matter and it sounds bad but now that we’re having this talk let’s get into it forreal.
Because let’s talk about why when people talk bad about celebrities and then they give in like Chloe when they were saying she wasn’t as pretty as beyonce and this and that and she addressed it and showed she was a human being then she was less popular and less interesting bc they think it a a game a social ladder and it’s a projection from men bc they have that built on survival thing that if ur broke ur nobody so they project it onto woman and that’s why we feel like if ur born pretty it’s a curse and if you’re not you’ve lost their game.
And how they expected her to just be beyonce and more bc bey is the one who mentored her but male in music industry be all up under eachother mentored by all the guys in the gang and they don’t compare they unite… look at how they do with the girls…. Comparison depletes creativity. Have to protect eachother bc the world has always been out to get us ever since eve ate the apple and nobody knows if that’s the truth either but you know how it goes, long as you’re a woman and attractive they’ll believe anything said about you. As long as it’s negative
🎯🎯🎯💯💯💯🎤🎤🎤
I resonate with your channel however I disagree when you say that in order to be a pretty black woman you have to be mixed race or white passing. That’s crazy. First of all mixed race women are not black women. Beautiful black women of all shades do face the same types of experiences if very attractive.
first of all i never said "in order to be a pretty black woman you have to be mixed or white passing," i don't even speak like that, nor am i stupid enough to use those types of phrases as I would be banned from youtube. secondly, how could i gain thousands of subscribers with that type of rhetoric? you're putting words in my mouth and projecting your own thoughts on to me. secondly, i never said that unambiguous black women cannot face the same experiences i talk about on this channel, so thats another thing you assumed i said. just because black women go through similar things doesn't mean that we are banned from talking about them over here. UABW have their exclusive spaces, and now ABW have ours. THIS CHANNEL WILL ALWAYS CENTER MIXED AND ABW OF ALL COMPLEXIONS. if you don't like that i've given us an exclusive space to discuss things while making ourselves the center of the conversation, this is not the channel for you. THIS CHANNEL WAS NOT CREATED TO BE RELATABLE TO UNAMBIGUOUS BLACK WOMEN. you guys have thousands of content creators. feel free to watch their content or block me so that i no longer show up in your algorithm.
Stay pretty,
EU
Never once in any video had she said in order for black women to be pretty they have to be mixed…Like ever…?😂 Where did you even get this from
did you even listen or are you trying to find a problem....Listening is a skill and i suggest you start working on that cause you sound dumb