7 Years As A Widow: How My Grief Has Changed | One Happy Widow

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  • Опубліковано 25 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 204

  • @OneHappyWidow
    @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +15

    Has your grief changed over time?

    • @susanmereau8939
      @susanmereau8939 5 місяців тому +5

      As I again sit here again with tears rolling down my face after losing my husband of 53 years, I am feeling everything you are sharing, but it is getting harder not easier! Thank you for being you and letting us know what we are going through is normal! God bless you.

    • @almacristinaroman507
      @almacristinaroman507 4 місяці тому +3

      My life and priorities are different but I feel 90% of what you described. It’s been 6 months without my husband and it gets worse and worse, not only in the way I feel but how the life around me is changing.

    • @almacristinaroman507
      @almacristinaroman507 4 місяці тому +3

      @@susanmereau8939I feel the same, harder for me and I feel people around me start pulling out

    • @encouragingword1172
      @encouragingword1172 Місяць тому +1

      @@OneHappyWidow When you are younger and have the desire to remarry, l understand how you can regain happiness but women my age more often settle for a functional life with interspersed episodes of pleasant experiences or just peace while listening to the birds or music or enjoying a good church service, a fun TV series or good food. But l am still always thinking of how much better it would be if he was still in the house. I have no desire to remarry because men my age have as many or more health issues than l do and l don’t want to take care of an old man l have no history with. Most elderly men marry for that reason, someone to wait on them, take them to the doctor, etc. Elderly widowhood for males or females is terrible but l think women fare better than men most of the time. My husband was thankful for everything and never expected anything from me but was grateful for the love and care, and l was grateful to give it. But at this point, no more of that.
      I am glad that you have found a new soul mate though. Many blessings!

    • @bevjohnson5280
      @bevjohnson5280 Місяць тому

      If you don't mind me saying, it sounds like you are engaging in a lot of erratic and chaotic behaviour. Must have been extremely difficult for the children, if not devastating, to see you remarry, so soon after their father's passing.

  • @liaalbo9108
    @liaalbo9108 3 місяці тому +17

    I lost my husband 2 years ago.
    I stopped crying every day, but the pain doesn't leave. I function, but the pain doesn't leave. ❤

  • @reneemartin9041
    @reneemartin9041 4 місяці тому +18

    I lost my husband 25 days ago… every morning realizing he is gone is so hard.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  3 місяці тому +2

      I’m so sorry, you are certainly in the fresh grief stage!

    • @123azadeh
      @123azadeh 25 днів тому

      I lost my husband on Nov 5th. The pain of loosing him is constant. I don't know what to do!

  • @patricec7675
    @patricec7675 4 місяці тому +12

    I found your channel, and I appreciate you doing this for others. I lost my husband 2 months ago today. He was murdered in a completely senseless killing at his office space while he returned home for a few days to work before rejoining us on vacation. We have an adult daughter (29) and an 11 and 13 year old at home. I was informed of his murder while at vacation, 4 hours away. This is the most difficult time I can imagine for all of us. Seeing that I am not alone in this pain has helped. I am unable to sleep. I cannot think properly. I have to deal with police and court. I said goodbye to him on Monday afternoon and on Tuesday morning was told he was gone. I miss him immensely. He is my best friend. I don't know how to be without him. It has been a struggle. I appreciate your videos. I feel validated in my feelings. Thank you.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  3 місяці тому +2

      I am so sorry you are in this traumatic grief right now! It’s so tough to grieve our spouse and still maintain a life for our children, who are also grieving in a much different way. I have several videos about solo parenting that might be a good resource for you.

  • @mom4peace919
    @mom4peace919 5 місяців тому +51

    My month is November and it will be 8 years this November. My husband was 47, I was 54. I'm 62 now. and retired from the school system. I've followed you for awhile and appreciate your honesty. Thank you for sharing and being real. I feel like I've watched every video, listened to every podcast and read every book on being a widow over the last 7 years and what I've noticed is that almost all people speaking out are remarried. While I can appreciate that the loss and grief never go away, I also think there is a significant difference in widowed when we've made the choice to not seek out another partner. There is a real finality in checking the "widow" box forever. A whole different set of challenges are creaated on top of the loss and grief...like no support, not feeling understood, loneliness., having to do EVERYTHING on your own, growing old alone, being a single parent (albiet to grown children) and the list goes on. There is feeling lonely and actually being alone most of the time, and they are completely different. I've wondered why more people who have "chosen " the widow life don't speak out and I think it's because society is way less patient and unwilling to hear about the loneliness, whereas stories of remarriage are more hopeful and filled with people being resilient and these stories are just easier to hear and more socially acceptable. Remarried widows are considered strong and resilient and provide stories of hope, whereas widows who don't remarry are considered weak and pathetic. And of course this just adds to the isolation. Just another perspective. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing others to do the same.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +5

      Thanks for watching and sharing your perspective from someone who has chosen a different path in this journey. I can certainly appreciate that there are other aspects of the long-term grief for someone who does not find (or choose to find) love again. It’s always a double-edged sword, as there are many people who don’t think I have the right to speak about widowhood since I have remarried. I do enjoy hearing the different ways that people handle their life after loss, so thank you for taking the time to shed some light on some different ways that people grieve!

    • @gracehillgranny5445
      @gracehillgranny5445 5 місяців тому +19

      I understand exactly what you're saying. I've not remarried either. It's been almost 10 years. Married friends are now more like acquaintances. Living lonely is different than living alone. We don't fit the expectations of what others think we should do/be. But, keep being you. It takes a strong minded and determined person to embrace life without a partner. Yes, we have our struggles, but we aren't weak.

    • @terrilynch5435
      @terrilynch5435 5 місяців тому +11

      I don’t believe ANY widow is EVER weak or pathetic. Remarriage is statistically difficult for widows AND divorced women purely considering that there are so many more widows than widowers. (Numerically men die earlier ). Let’s just embrace that life is hard. Being a successful woman while widowed or divorced or single or MARRIED is challenging. Life/God may or may not give you another opportunity to marry. One is not more hopeful or sad. I’m inspired by many widows I see and know who are transparent about learning and growing & living.

    • @terrilynch5435
      @terrilynch5435 5 місяців тому +2

      I don’t believe ANY widow is EVER weak or pathetic. Remarriage is statistically difficult for widows AND divorced women purely considering that there are so many more widows than widowers. (Numerically men die earlier ). Let’s just embrace that life is hard. Being a successful woman while widowed or divorced or single or MARRIED is challenging. Life/God may or may not give you another opportunity to marry. One is not more hopeful or sad. I’m inspired by many widows I see and know who are transparent about learning and growing & living.

    • @user-ei8rb7sj6c
      @user-ei8rb7sj6c 5 місяців тому +8

      My month is March and it was 9 years for me this year. From what you’ve said in your comment, all I know is that you’ve decided you don’t want to remarry. There could be many reasons for that, but none make me think you are weak and/or pathetic. As widows, we may have some feelings and experiences in common, but our histories and circumstances are all different. I hope you will be as kind and loving with yourself as you would be with your best friend. While being a widow has its problems and challenges, such as those you mentioned, remarrying would have problems and challenges, too. At 71, I don’t know if I’ll remarry or not. If I were to meet and fall in love with a fine gentleman who knows what might happen?
      None of us knows what the future holds. All we can do is live one day at a time, and look forward to what surprises tomorrow may bring! Wishing you all the best!

  • @beatricefrask5230
    @beatricefrask5230 5 місяців тому +10

    Being a young widow with a kid to raise on my own cost me my health. She was 2. Now that she is 19, I am starting to catch my breath.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +2

      Raising grieving children is probably the hardest part of being a widow, in my opinion!

  • @JudiKerestan
    @JudiKerestan 5 місяців тому +34

    The worst thing about losing my husband 2 weeks ago was someone saying that now you are single , you fulfilled your vows.,No way I am still married ,, only my husband is up there and Im down here but he will always be my husband...

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +5

      Sometimes people say the dumbest things! Of course you still feel married, and in some way you might always. And that’s ok!

    • @encouragingword1172
      @encouragingword1172 3 місяці тому +4

      I understand. Wore my wedding ring for 3 yrs after my husband died, then the diamond fell out and l never found it. I was devastated! Now l wear a silver ring of costume jewelry on that finger and my wedding ring is in the jewelry box. I never look at it. Pictures that used to bring me such joy only make me cry now, so l don’t look at those either. I still feel married also, over 4 yrs after Jim’s death. He’s just not in the house.

    • @SuzanneRobinette
      @SuzanneRobinette Місяць тому

      @@OneHappyWidowthat’s not dumb, that’s cruel. I’m a recent widow, and I’ve heard, and overlooked, even understood, some “ dumb” things. Why can’t you just say so?

  • @teresapaliwoda
    @teresapaliwoda 5 місяців тому +18

    It's so tough especially when menopause hits. I've been a widow twice. Once when I was 40 my husband died of leukemia. Then I remarried 4 years later. Then 16 years later my husband died of a massive heart attack in his chair during the night. I understand about the hair. I did the same. My mother died last year and my weight has blossomed. I try to be as loving to myself as I am to others who are struggling. Be kind to yourself. Thanks for putting yourself out there for us.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @lauramiller6294
    @lauramiller6294 5 місяців тому +16

    I just passed the 2 year mark. My life has definitely changed. Over the last 2 years I have made my house mine. There is no one to share it with other than grandkids and now great grands.
    I do what I want when I want and I don't care what anyone thinks.
    Yes I do miss my husband every day. I suspect I always will.
    I meet with a group of friends twice a month. I don't mind doing things by myself.
    I have had to learn how to keep up with repairs on house. The most difficult part of that is finding right person for job.
    Overall I figured out I had to take care of myself. Nobody is going to do it for me.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +3

      You sound like you have embraced your independence, I’m proud of you!

    • @annamaegrout8159
      @annamaegrout8159 3 місяці тому +4

      Well I lost my husband 6 years ago and I miss him so so much. I also do most everything alone. I use to say I won't go out to eat alone well that changed. I go alone or don't go. Your life changes so much.

  • @gracehillgranny5445
    @gracehillgranny5445 5 місяців тому +15

    Your video just popped up in my feed. I almost didn't tune in. I was widowed at age 51. Our 3 youngest were in college, our oldest were married with babies and small children. Two weeks before he passed, our 3rd son became a 1st time Daddy. She was born 2 weeks early. He passed on her due date. Even then, the Lord blessed us with her arrival. It will be 10 yrs this December. Almost everything you've shared, I can identify with. (Except) I've not dated nor remarried, so blending a family hasn't been my journey. The journey has been tough on my heart and our children, but we're all doing well, most of the time.
    My beloved was also a military career Soldier. Retired SFC/E7, he never got that option to experience retirement, though.
    Being a widowed grandmother has many aches and growing pains. I can't afford the things we used to offer our oldest grandblessings. But, if not for our grandblessings, I'm not sure I'd have come this far.
    10yrs ... seems like yesterday and a thousand years at the same time.
    Christ Jesus has been faithful through it all. I'll be tuning in as you share. I'm glad I clicked play.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +3

      I’m glad you clicked too! Thanks for watching, and sharing your feedback.

  • @elaineplowman9621
    @elaineplowman9621 5 місяців тому +7

    I lost my husband 11 months ago but I am older than most of you. It is hard but gets easier. However your life is changed forever and will never be the same again! The World refers to you as single which to me hurts because I didn’t choose this life. I am still adjusting but I do attend a Grief Share group which helps some.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      I’m glad you found a group that helps you. Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @antonellatotino2794
    @antonellatotino2794 5 місяців тому +14

    Thankyou for bringing up this topic.
    I'm at the 6 1/2 year mark of living my husband.
    Noone talks about it anymore.
    Grief changes, but what a journey!!!!
    Still heartbroken, picking up my pieces and for my children.
    Yes, sooo hard trying to help your children.
    Thankyou.
    God's strength!

    • @antonellatotino2794
      @antonellatotino2794 5 місяців тому

      Spelling error. Losing my husband

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your support #widfam

  • @serenitybee9665
    @serenitybee9665 5 місяців тому +8

    So thankful for this channel 🙏 I lost my husband 2 months ago😭💔 Our son in an accident in 2020😭Miss them both so much . 🙏

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +2

      I'm so sorry for your compounded loss and grief. Prayers for you #widfam

  • @abmelvic5066
    @abmelvic5066 11 днів тому

    How wonderful you remarried. It looks like things are looking up for you. Thats very good. My husband died three Saturdays ago and I am grieving like theres no tomorrow. So many things trigger my emotions. Ill be vacuming ad i'll be crying. I'll be driving and I'll be crying.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  9 днів тому

      Yes, I understand the fresh grief stage, it is so difficult! Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback.

  • @lynhead52
    @lynhead52 5 місяців тому +4

    I am glad you are back- I am 1 1/2 yrs out - it is still very hard. It helps to understand what all others go through. We were married almost 48 yrs, I haven't found that 'new normal'.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      It take a while to rescue true your whole life, and we do it reluctantly, so that takes even more time. Go at your own pace, and be kind to yourself!

  • @dianemadir5710
    @dianemadir5710 22 дні тому

    It's been 6.years since I lost my husband and everything you're saying resonates with me. And glad to see you posting again. Thank you.

  • @annegiarratana7744
    @annegiarratana7744 5 місяців тому +5

    Our loved ones are always around as spirits they see everything especially they never miss big occasions

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      We don’t actually believe this, but there’s no way to know who is right…thanks for watching!

  • @maryd8393
    @maryd8393 5 місяців тому +6

    My hubby has passed three yrs three months ago 4/30/24. All I did was cry during this whole video. My hubby was in the military for twenty yrs. So I feel all the feels like you do.

    • @irenemojocoa
      @irenemojocoa 5 місяців тому +1

      Sorry for your loss. My husband was in the military for 20 years too! He passed too young only 50, on November 2022. Miss him every second 😭

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      I’m so sorry you are feeling n this journey, my friend

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Those patriotic holidays are triggering, aren’t they?

  • @orthodudeness
    @orthodudeness 2 місяці тому +2

    One and a half years for me now. The grief is changing. Now it is sometimes very sharp. Seems to not be waves anymore, more like a circle.
    Linda was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2019. Looking back over the past 5 years, I can see the changes in her from about 2014. Didn't know what it was all about, what was happening.
    Lewy Body is that way.
    The sharp pian is back from time to time. I see it, I won't push it away, but I know to not let it take over. That is tough.
    Main point of that is, she would not want me to just give up. She would want me to live.
    2020, tough year, as you point out, for everyone.
    Linda was regressed to the point of not knowing what was happening at all. Covid, and then there was a fire here. 173,000 acres of forest. 400 homes lost. We were lucky, it just burned all the forest around us. We were evacuated for 2 weeks. Highway was closed for 47 miles. We live at mile 24.
    Anyhow, thing I remember the most right now is my thoughts from 2020 to 2023 when she died, 3/19.2023.
    I remember giving up our horses and donkeys to a great rescue place, all in great homes now. That happened in 2020 as caring for Linda and all of them became too much.
    Weird thing I remember the most is helping her up from her recliner every night, walking her to bed, tucking her in, I love you dear.
    I would do this walk with her, thinking "How long am I going to have to do this?".
    Maybe because she always healed from all her ills so well.
    Strange thing is looking back at that and realizing I never thought that those walks would end because she was going to die.
    It took 2 and a half years of those walks till she died at home.
    I am still amazed that thought of her death never crossed my mind during those walks. Although I did know she was terminal as are all with dementia.
    Anticipatory grief was very real for me then.
    Maybe it was just that it lasted for 5 years till she died.
    We have no children. I still live in the same house. 24 miles from town. I have a few friends up here, mostly alone now. I am getting out, forcing myself sometimes to stay mobile
    and not just sit and waste away.
    Acceptance and grief got better at the beginning of this year, easier to handle. At this moment it is tough again.
    Tough times are getting further apart. I can see that, but I wish the tough would end.
    Trying not to make grief the focus of my life and not push it away either. It is smoothing out.
    My job is helpful. I have my own business for 44 years now. Started working in the field in 1969, 55 years ago. Seems like it might just pan out ok.
    The guilt for having a happy time or day is tough but I am finding it less difficult as time goes on.
    I just keep telling myself, reminding myself, Linda would want me to go on. As I would want her to go on if it went that way. We did discuss this point years ago.
    Everyone, be sure to cover this point now, not later, with your family.
    Thanks for the opportunity to ramble on here.
    Be well.💖

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  2 місяці тому

      Thanks for sharing your feelings and part of your story. You are right, she would want you to move forward on her behalf, but I understand how guilt comes along with growth.

  • @marshagaspard6239
    @marshagaspard6239 5 місяців тому +4

    This video is so relatable. Thanks for sharing it. I became a widow 2.5 years ago. As you said, grief is a different journey for everyone, but the whole time that I was watching, I noticed that I was constantly shaking my head, "yes". I explained it to another recent widow like this: It is the most unique, strangest, unpredictable, difficult journey that you will ever go on, but you will make it with faith.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Yes, all of this! It is so hard to explain it to someone who hasn't lost a spouse, and almost no need to explain it to someone who has. We just "get it" in some sort of way. Thanks for watching, and sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @lindaallen7283
    @lindaallen7283 5 місяців тому +5

    Thank you so very much for sharing your experience. You are a great example of navigating life after losing a spouse. We are 2 months shy of 5 years after losing my husband of 45 years, and the pain has become tolerable but will never be gone. I miss him daily. I am grateful for the way you describe finding a new routine through life. Two years ago the older of our 2 children decided to become estranged from all family; I’m finding that very difficult, but I will continue finding the comfort and peace through faith.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback. Our oldest daughter who lives in CA has also gone no-contact with us also. She left her son with his dad and she moved across the country as far away from us as she could get. I pray daily that she will return to her family one day, but her brain will have to be in a different place before that can happen.

  • @cherihermans9118
    @cherihermans9118 5 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for your video. My husband of 50 years passed away this February. He was very ill for 8 years. Now I am navigating and finding a new path. I miss him terribly. ❤
    The first year is hard we lost our oldest son in a motor vehicle accident over 20 years ago so I know all the “firsts “ are hard.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thank you for watching and sharing some of your story with us. Prayers to you #widfam

    • @BicyclesConfusion
      @BicyclesConfusion 2 місяці тому

      They always are.

  • @iccee571
    @iccee571 5 місяців тому +3

    I am so glad I watched this. It has been 8 years since I lost my husband. I still grief to a certain extent. This grief is one you dont get over but it gets easier. I glad these are normal feelings....

  • @andybrown9503
    @andybrown9503 2 місяці тому

    I appreciate your content so very much, my hubs of 23 years passed 6 weeks ago, metastatic bladder cancer. It true that much of my grieving was done throughout his illness but it still sneaks up on me at weird moments! I’m 53 and now pretty much done with menopause now but it affected my hair and skin texture and one day I found hair dust or powder and it makes my hair amazing!!! Thank you for helping me process the big feelings

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  2 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching- I’m 51 now and in the middle of menopause and the hot flashes and thin hair are terrible. I do use hair powder and it helps make it look thicker at least b

  • @lauriearcher7939
    @lauriearcher7939 5 місяців тому +2

    Leo! I have missed you! I am so glad you’re back and I think you look fabulous! I am looking forward to your live session. I’m going on 3 years and am finally realizing this is my life now and it is nothing like I thought it would be at this age. Being a widow sucks!

  • @terrilynch5435
    @terrilynch5435 5 місяців тому +3

    I’ve missed you Leo! Please know how much you are loved. I’m approaching 6 years as a widow. You’ve helped me so much. I say “me too” to everything you share. I still cry too. Every day we keep growing stronger. ❤

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thanks so much for your feedback! I appreciate you #widfam

    • @robincivitello4473
      @robincivitello4473 5 місяців тому

      Hello, I just watched your video for the first time, the video when you talked about your late husband's diagnosis. My struggle is with my son.... He was diagnosed with glioblastoma and given 1to 2 yrs. to live. This was 15 mos. ago. I grieve everyday. He had a clinical trial last September, he was sick most of the winter from this trial but it gave him more time . Right now he has bad days and good days. He had been excepted for phase 2 of the trial. This week he had a scan and the tumor has grown from the last scan. The phase 2 is not until January.😢 This type of cancer is very aggressive and incurable..... January is 61/2 mos. Away. Now I find myself pacing the floor because I'm terrified he won't make it to the trial date! So I understand what it's like to grieve before any passing. I can't believe I'm loosing a child....he is 43 and 1 of 5....thank you for your videos. Robin

  • @TheJillyrabbit
    @TheJillyrabbit 5 місяців тому +4

    I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering if you were MIA...nice to have you back

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +2

      Thank you for thinking of me, yes I'm officially BACK! I had to take a mental health break- just needed to rest my brain, body, heart...all the things!

  • @neoncoyote2008
    @neoncoyote2008 5 місяців тому +2

    Leo, your videos have been a touchstone for me in the six months since my husband died. I appreciate you, your intent to help, and your no-nonsense and forthcoming delivery more than I can say.
    I hear you on the frustration of menopause - please find a health care provider well-versed in HRT to see if you might be a candidate...it can be life-changing, including addressing the seemingly endless weight gain. I also understand your thoughts on not feeling your best on camera; but I want to assure you that I'm seeing the same generous, helpful spirit and person I saw in all the other videos, and I have nothing but positive thoughts towards your appearance. We're all in the same struggle with that, same as this widows' club.
    I so appreciate everything you do. Looking forward to your future content.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you for all your kind words! I did mention to my doctor at my last appt about HRT, and she sort of blew me off, saying that the side effects can sometimes be worse than the original symptoms, so unless I'm truly suffering, it's not time yet. Since I started eating better, the hot flashes have gotten better, but this weight and low-energy is for the birds!!!

  • @jamesvowels2972
    @jamesvowels2972 Місяць тому

    Thank you I totally agree❤

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Місяць тому

      Thanks for sharing your feedback

    • @jamesvowels2972
      @jamesvowels2972 Місяць тому

      I lost my wife 7 years ago it's been rough but listening to you brings me peace Thank You So Much Love Your Inspiration to keep going ❤️❤️

  •  4 місяці тому +2

    I lost my husband 6 days ago. The grief is overwhelming. I have a great support system but I can't let them in right now. For now, I hibernate in our house, surrounded by my husband's things, listening to videos like this. Does it help to know others are suffering as I am? I don't know. Sorry, I'm rambling.

    • @edgrossman8929
      @edgrossman8929 4 місяці тому

      Don’t be sorry. Talk is like therapy. I am moving through my own grief after losing my spouse in January 2024

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  4 місяці тому +1

      You are in fresh grief right now, and it’s normal to not want company for a while. Take one day at a time, and be kind to yourself.

  • @elenamanley5509
    @elenamanley5509 2 місяці тому

    Your video gives me hope and a little less fatalistic. Thank you.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  2 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your support.

  • @susanlira6331
    @susanlira6331 5 місяців тому +2

    Thanks for your brutal honesty. I understand most of what you are saying. Your testimony is helpful.

  • @kathrynjones4610
    @kathrynjones4610 Місяць тому

    YOur posts are more helpful than you can imagine. Thank you.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Місяць тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your support. I’m here every Monday at noon EST for live sessions too if you’d like to come here for that and chat as well!

  • @MrSscutch
    @MrSscutch 5 місяців тому +4

    Almost 3 years out...remarried for 6 months... I still get the wind knocked out of me when i see his items and have to make a decision about what to do with his belongings and then I need a day to cry....my new husband had lost his wife as well so he understands...

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      You are both lucky to have each other.

  • @DonWright-w9e
    @DonWright-w9e 3 місяці тому

    I so understand, when we hard time with weight, then my hair not right, it is a hard day! Enjoy your content! You are a beautiful soul! Keep on keeping on. North Carolina! The best of 3

  • @terrigodfrey8260
    @terrigodfrey8260 5 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for your words. You are so lovely and a very good communicator. Even though I am much older and my kids are adults with kids, much of what you say pertains to any widow, at any age. Very helpful and wise words to me as I listen. I am coming up on the 3rd anniversary of losing my prince. Having been thru menopause some years ago, I notice that your thyroid is swollen which may be indicative of hypothyroid (underactive) and two major symptoms of that are hair loss and weight gain and it almost always shows up at this age for the first time. I was put on thyroid medication for about 10 years which helped a great deal. Also research what nutrients support thyroid production....zinc, selenium, iodine, etc., and eating higher protein and lower carb. That info helped me back then tremendously. I'm not a doctor and if this doesn't pertain to you, please disregard.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you for your suggestions and your kind words as well! I do have Hashimoto's, diagnosed about 8-10 years ago and take medication, but it doesn't seem to make me feel much different if I'm off it or on it. THe dr. said nutrition will make more difference in how I feel than anything. I have been carnviroe eating for hte past year and a half or so, probably about 85% of the time...but those other 15% days when I have a setback, my body goes full-blown craving mode and I can easily gain 5-10 pounds in about 3 days of eating "junk" so it's been difficult to be consistent. It's just a constant job to see what makes me feel the best, what I can stomach, and of course the will power to stick to it!

  • @jeannekrenk3949
    @jeannekrenk3949 5 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for continuing to share your journey; I have missed you … I came upon your Channel when I lost my Mark last Fall … thank you for saying that patriotic holidays are especially hard; he was retired Air Force and these holidays have hit me hard; I thought that was kind of crazy on my part but you have helped me to put some perspective on those feelings … I really appreciated how you talked about honoring the memory of your loved one by living your best life … I am a retired Special Education teacher; my advice to you is to take care of yourself; it’s a very tough job and I totally understand your stress … ❤ Grateful to have “visited” you today!

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Sounds like we have a lot in common! I have yet another new job this fall, and I'll talk about it in my net video, but I can say that it's part-time, and it's not in SPED...hopefully those 2 changes will help a little! Thanks for watching, and sharing your feedback #widfam

    • @scrapstress
      @scrapstress 4 місяці тому

      I have missed you , thank you for coming back ❤

  • @TheReneepruitt
    @TheReneepruitt 3 місяці тому +2

    Well, I feel like shit. My husband died August 26. The only saving grace that I can say is it at least he was here to hold my hand when I lost my son because if I had lost my son after my husband, I don’t think I could’ve done it without My husband.. My husband has been my rock for 33 yrs. I was worried about him anyways but he kept saying nothing is wrong but he had a heart attack right in front of me. I tried CPR and nothing.. I was afraid this would happen. But I am still in shock and I am lost. He has been the one who gave me a life that was worth living. And now I don’t even have him to tell about my day. I hate waking up.. I hate coming home and not seeing him sitting in his garage waiting on me to get home. I hate feeling like I am in constant verge of vomiting. So I have been grieving my son who was only 23 to now, my husband. How can I go on? Why do I want to? No I am not contemplating on unloving myself but I ask what is the point now? I feel despair and I keep praying and I am praying God will talk to me

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  2 місяці тому

      I’m so sorry widfam. I can tell you that it does get easier over time, but you’ll have to be the one to find what brings you joy again when you are ready. Or maybe eye you’re just tired of being sad all the time. I pray you reach that phase soon, with Gods help.

    • @merrildegroot7862
      @merrildegroot7862 2 місяці тому

      Hello. Yes, it is rather sh...y. My husband of 33 years passed just 10 days ago. I hate when it gets to 6pm, the nights are the worst. The grief, sadness and loss are so overwhelming. What the he.. do I do now? We were best buddies and did everything together. The loss of a child and spouse is one of life's harshest journeys. God will carry you, me and many more through this period. God Bless us all.

  • @songbird5030
    @songbird5030 2 місяці тому

    Thank you!!

  • @prettyeyescovington5430
    @prettyeyescovington5430 4 місяці тому

    Thank you, I needed to hear story because for me it's so hard and it seems like the pain will never get easier go away.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  4 місяці тому

      I understand; sometimes it seems that way. I suggest keeping a journal to track your progress.

  • @mariselaramirez1087
    @mariselaramirez1087 4 місяці тому

    I just joined and you look beautiful! ❤❤ My husband committed suicide almost 4 months ago, he was 44. It’s been really hard but God has been my strength!!

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  4 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing her feedback!

  • @dawnleonard3000
    @dawnleonard3000 3 місяці тому

    I can't tell you how much your videos have helped me!! Thank you so much❤

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  3 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your support

  • @dennismccowan5375
    @dennismccowan5375 5 місяців тому +1

    Glad you are back! Your videos helped me after my wife passed...now its been just over 2 years.

  • @suefanning2067
    @suefanning2067 5 місяців тому +2

    Leo I was thinking you look great!! Good to see you.☺️

  • @tammymarsden4852
    @tammymarsden4852 5 місяців тому +1

    Welcome back what a treat , your videos are amazing they help so much in 1 month my husband will be gone 3 yrs time flies but stands still if that makes sense. Same here anything patriotic gets my heart he was in the Navy and qhen u say some gave all oh yeah I know what u mean. Nice to see u Leo and so happy ur back take care and give yourself grace ur amazing ❤

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @encouragingword1172
    @encouragingword1172 3 місяці тому

    Thank you for your channel and sharing your story.

  • @toniwaugh1823
    @toniwaugh1823 5 місяців тому +1

    Hi Leo, so happy that you're back on UA-cam. You look great! 👍 Thank you for sharing with us your grief journey over the past 7 years . I am almost 2.5 years into my grief journey after losing my wonderful husband. I find it hard realizing that he will never come home to me. 😢 Looking forward to your future videos. 😊

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback #widfam

  • @psrwhite
    @psrwhite 5 місяців тому

    So good to hear you. I started listening to you in 2021, right after my husband died. You feel like an old friend I haven't seen in awhile but we haven't missed a beat. So glad you are here again!

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      What a nice thing to say! 2021 is when I started the channel, and it is so nice to get back to it!

  • @Redmemory1
    @Redmemory1 5 місяців тому +1

    Glad to see you on UA-cam again! Teaching is so, so hard. I left my teaching career many, many years ago and never looked back. Have you considered a different career path?

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Yes, it just keeps getting worse every year! I’m transitioning out, hopefully this next year is my last, as it’s only part-time!

  • @irenemojocoa
    @irenemojocoa 5 місяців тому

    I’ve followed you a few months after the passing of my husband on Nov 2022. Thank you for sharing all of your grief journey. I can definitely relate to many of your experiences.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for watching and sharing your support #widfam

  • @melindabarefoot4612
    @melindabarefoot4612 5 місяців тому

    I can relate to the menopause. Hot Flashes have been bad, and being so tired felt like it came out of nowhere.
    Oh, and the hair thinning is no joke either.
    I'm glad to hear you're doing better.
    Missed you!!
    I can explain the way I felt with the initial
    shock of my husband taking his life, on our 22nd anniversary. Shell Shock.
    It was like someone had shot a gun close by, and there was a ringing in my ears, I was going through the motions, but mentally I couldn't wrap my mind around it. December 4th will be nine years, and our family is torn apart.
    My children blame me, and I haven't
    seen or talked to them in two years.
    I became a grandma on Christmas Eve
    last year, and my son won't let me see
    the baby. I just wish their daddy could see just how much our lives are Not Better, since he's gone. Our boys were
    11 and 15 at the time he passed away.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      I'm so sorry you have had to go through all this, Im sure your grief is a mix of so many different emotions. One of my children has also gone no-contact, and will not allow me to see my only grandson either. It is so tough!

  • @piligarcia4771
    @piligarcia4771 5 місяців тому +2

    Refering to menopause , I spent like 10 yrs with this problem and hot flushes ,especially if I was stressed ..and being a wifow didn,t help..and someone told me to try leaving all dairy and anything made with wheat flour..like normal bread and cakes biscuits ect..and within a week I started to feel much better and the hot flushes stopped..unless I have a fright..or I eat wheat..then in 15 mins I have a hot flush...I have been controling these two ingredients for about 6 months and my blood work came out perfect and I feel totaly different...I also have hot ginger drink for brealfast and a couple of rounds of pineapple first..and my weight has stabilized .

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Than you for the advice! I have cut out all gluten and flour for several months, and my hot flashes also went away. Of course my cycle returned also lol. I do believe that nutrition is the key to so much healing, without all the nasty side effects of medication. I have been on keto/carnivore mix for about a year. I haven't lost any weight, but my health is actually better (bloodwork, etc) than it has been in a long time.

  • @AnhTran-ek6cx
    @AnhTran-ek6cx 5 місяців тому +1

    you look good Leo! sending you hugs

  • @janwilson6765
    @janwilson6765 5 місяців тому +1

    Welcome back, we have a couple of things in common, not liking the month of June. I lost my husband June 2nd 2017 so I am also a widow 7 years and my husband's birthday is also in June. We were married 49 years . I have not remarried . It's great you're back ,looking forward to future videos. Have a great day.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for watching and sharing your story #widfam

    • @johandrihougaard437
      @johandrihougaard437 5 місяців тому

      My husband died 2 June 2023, so I am in my 1 year. It is hard, but God is good!!!

    • @janwilson6765
      @janwilson6765 5 місяців тому

      One moment at a time

  • @elainekomara8555
    @elainekomara8555 Місяць тому

    My husband died on Father’s Day in 2023.. we were only married 9 years.. my life will never be the same.. it’s tough.. and heartbreaking.. We are all on our own journey in life even when our spouse is alive. We just don’t realize it at that time. I realized that I was on my own journey after my husband died…Gods my all in all..

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Місяць тому

      Thanks for watching, and sharing your perspective. Amen!

  • @jessicavaia2122
    @jessicavaia2122 5 місяців тому +1

    Hi Leo welcome back great video!

  • @lalaaa6019
    @lalaaa6019 5 місяців тому +5

    Widowed for 9 years with 9 yr old twins😢 widowed at 27

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      I’m so sorry #widfam

    • @encouragingword1172
      @encouragingword1172 3 місяці тому

      Oh my goodness! The roller coaster of emotions and events you must have endured! May God Bless you so much! Hope you and your twins are doing ok.

  • @tinahauser8864
    @tinahauser8864 5 місяців тому

    Thank you for all the videos you have made. My husband has terminal colon cancer. I’ll be referring back to these videos in the future for sure.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Praying for you, and thanks for watching.

  • @almacristinaroman507
    @almacristinaroman507 4 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for this video and for all the work you do around this topic. Although I don’t resonate with everything you talk about here as my life is different and I am a different type of person, I feel 90% of what you described and I retained 2 things.
    First is that our husbands would give anything to live smaller or bigger things that for us don’t bring any joy or meaning and we should find those.
    Second is that it gets easier in time, because although the situation and the pain are there it’s us who change and find ways to cope with all that.
    How do you find reasons and purpose and strength to continue living that kind of life? Where half of you crushed and in constant pain? I find it very hard to go on like that for the rest of my life

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  4 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback. As for how we go on, I try to take it one day at a time. There are good days and bad days, and I have to remember that neither will stay the same for long. I make lists, and set new goals so that I have a purpose and things I’m working towards.

  • @irenemojocoa
    @irenemojocoa 5 місяців тому

    You look great!! Welcome back Leo!

  • @IamGemini254
    @IamGemini254 Місяць тому

    Am a widow too. 10yrs now n it's not easy😢

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Місяць тому

      My pivot course might be helpful if you are still struggling with this: www.griefpivotcourse.com

  • @melb2258
    @melb2258 4 місяці тому

    Mine was 4 yrs 7/31/2020. He passed away due to Covid, while in a VA facility. I thought I would move on without a hitch. Wrong. It’s been a journey that I wasn’t prepared for. So I got very close to God. Instead of getting into a relationship I got into a relationship God. It’s been 4 yrs, but I think I still have more to be on my own. To raise my 14 yr old son. God helps you in ways you never thought. God helps through grief, darkness, alone. Ive accepted and am comfortable with the thought of staying alone for the rest of my life, if need be. We can make it! Single moms have God.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  4 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback

  • @CarolynDick-r4f
    @CarolynDick-r4f 5 місяців тому +1

    My Husband Phil died 7 years ago Good Friday April 14th 2017 Love and Miss him so much

  • @kathyw4102
    @kathyw4102 5 місяців тому

    Missed you, but I understand and take care of yourself.

  • @NoodlesEaton
    @NoodlesEaton 3 місяці тому

    October is my June. I hate October due to deaths and accidents.I gained 35 pounds. I am using intermittent fasing 16:8. I am so happy you are doing videos again. You were born to be a speaker and teacher! I love your channel! Your property is like heaven! p.s. I do not see the weight change in you.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  3 місяці тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback. I’ve tried fasting and carnivore too, but it hasn’t worked. I’m actually taking medicine now to help with my insulin levels, and that’s helping a bit. Thank you so much for your kind words, it means a lot!

  • @lindaness7002
    @lindaness7002 5 місяців тому +1

    Lonely vs loneliness...complex. coming up on the 3rd anniversary of my husband's death..August 19th.

  • @muma6559
    @muma6559 5 місяців тому

    Good girl that you stepped up to positive changes to avoid things such as diabetes, so good that you didn't make things more complicated

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Yes, I'm trying my best to stay healthy. Dewey had diabetes in addition to so many other issues, so I saw how that affected him too. Thanks for watching.

  • @jaelinn2876
    @jaelinn2876 5 місяців тому +2

    My husband passed 7/7/24, 5 days ago in an auto accident . We were married 32 years. We were separated so his death has been devastating.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      I’m so sorry that you are going through this complicated grief journey.

    • @sylviaAguenther-zc9lg
      @sylviaAguenther-zc9lg 5 місяців тому +1

      Hi there, sorry to hear of this terrible incident in your life, many of us who have gonna through the same shock R holding a lot candle of strength to help U through. Turn to a friend here if the day& night seems unbearable, here 4 u if I need to text/talk😢😢💖💖stay in peace

  • @janethendrickson6705
    @janethendrickson6705 5 місяців тому

    Welcone Back#!!❤

  • @JesseUnderwood-m8b
    @JesseUnderwood-m8b 5 місяців тому +1

    HEY just want to say YOUVE got this!I believe that what ever is thrown our way,GOD has it in control.I can tell your a beautiful person inside ,I only take one day at a time ,because you not promised tomorrow .I believe GOD put you and your new husband together for purpose?I wish you and yours the most happiness that can be,for the rest of your time on this earth.GOD bless and enjoy life for it is LOVE.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Thanks for watching and sharing your feedback. I do believe God sent my current husband to me, and me to him- we have certainly helped each other through some tough times!

  • @laurieschwarzrock7724
    @laurieschwarzrock7724 3 місяці тому +1

    It’s hard I feel so broken miss my husband

  • @tinahauser8864
    @tinahauser8864 5 місяців тому +1

    I have a question - do you still quilt?

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +2

      I actually don’t enjoy quilting (I have tried it), but I do love to sew, and I still love it.

  • @kgb2905
    @kgb2905 5 місяців тому +1

    Go out and get IT.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому

      Every day!

    • @kgb2905
      @kgb2905 5 місяців тому

      @@OneHappyWidow yes every day.stop being satisfied with poor performing partners. They must be GOOD and thats it.

    • @kgb2905
      @kgb2905 5 місяців тому

      @@OneHappyWidow IF EVERY DAY ,YOU ARE MY TYPE.

  • @MM-yi9zn
    @MM-yi9zn 5 місяців тому +4

    The loss is permanent especially in a very long marriage. You just have to plod on day by day.

  • @mounijani1154
    @mounijani1154 4 місяці тому +1

    I lost my husband 20 days back a small misunderstanding between us he hung himself and left me we have been married together for 8 years ...i dont know how to live without him i just want to go to him all i want to say is sorry and i love him very much we have been allmost fighting because of his alcohol addiction and my anger issues but we do have lot of sweet memories we dont have kids ...i cant imagine my future without him i am totally lost...hope he will be at peace in heaven ...waiting for my death to meet him

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  4 місяці тому

      I’m so sorry for your journey. Praying for you #widfam

    • @irenebent7351
      @irenebent7351 4 місяці тому

      Please be strong, you can get over this but it will take time. Don’t blame yourself, your husband was an alcoholic and not of sound mind. That is what led him to do it not what you said. God bless

  • @autobotdiva9268
    @autobotdiva9268 3 місяці тому

    i cut off all his friends after one of them made a nasty comment to me. havent seen them in over a year.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  3 місяці тому +1

      I wish this wasn’t as common as it is..but so many widows have said this!

  • @19snoopy64
    @19snoopy64 5 місяців тому +1

    Congratulations on getting married again.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you it has almost been 5 years now.

    • @19snoopy64
      @19snoopy64 5 місяців тому

      @@OneHappyWidow Sweet.❤

  • @sharilynnpalmer7435
    @sharilynnpalmer7435 2 місяці тому

    I have a hard time having sympathy for you. I remember you saying your husband wanted to go to the ER he was so sick. You told him to call his mother for a ride who was several hours away. He waited for his mom and you went to bed. Then married in no time.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  2 місяці тому

      I understand that not everyone can empathize. We all make our choices and then must live with them. I try to learn from my choices each day. Thank you for sharing your feedback!

  • @anneturner2759
    @anneturner2759 5 місяців тому

    I just heard a little more about your husband always wanting to be a dad . Please allow me to say that this sucks and it is NOT fair ! ❤️‍🔥
    How is your husband doing with his grief are you further along ? Is he ?im curious..

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  5 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for your feedback. My current husband is now 5 years out and I’m 7 years out. We are helping each other cope.

  • @marshamagic8551
    @marshamagic8551 Місяць тому

    Wondering about your former in laws..

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Місяць тому +1

      Just my late husband’s mother. She doesn’t contact us much, and typically stirs up drama when she does.

  • @annegiarratana7744
    @annegiarratana7744 5 місяців тому

    Are you drinking coke? No,no,no

  • @marshamagic8551
    @marshamagic8551 Місяць тому

    You look sad.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  Місяць тому

      It’s definitely a process. Some days are better than others!

  • @orthodudeness
    @orthodudeness 3 місяці тому

    This helped me along.....
    I have something here to share.
    I have tried to copy and paste the original, youtube doesn't allow that in a reply post.
    So, I have written out a copy here.
    Use this and do something like this.
    I found it tucked away in my wife's jewelry box after she passed from dementia on 3/19/2023.
    Took me to my knees when I found it. It's from 7/25/2007.
    She kept it all those years.
    I wondered did she know how much I loved her??/= Did I love here enough? Got my answer when I found this.
    We were together for 37 years.
    Here it is....
    I work at home, way to many hours as my boss is the toughest around.
    My week starts on Sunday, sometimes goes till Sunday.
    My hours are long, my choice as well.
    I'm sitting working my tail off last Sunday. in comes Linda. She had been out in the pasture fooling with the horses.
    Huge smile, glowing eyes, COMES INTO MY WORK, to tell me about all the butterflies in the pasture.
    So numerous at one point she said she could feel the wind from their wings on her face some got so close.
    Put a complete stop to my progress.
    Butterfly jabber went on for a few minutes, complete shutdown of progress for me.
    Then she goes back out to finish her busy day.
    There I sit thinking, I hope that if I were created, or here by chance, whatever, cosmic muffin, hairy thunderer, whatever....
    Please whatever it is or isn't...let me live and breathe just one more day...one more breath..so that my wife can come and completely
    WASTE MY TIME like that again.
    I must say I enjoy numerous occasions like that working at home.
    Helped largely by living where we do, surrounded by wildlife and forest.
    You guys like stuff like that? Someone sharing simple totally wonderful moments with you??
    I get those feelings in my roll off observatory, but not as intense as with Linda and her butterflies.
    Health, Love, and Wealth to you all, and time to enjoy them.

    • @OneHappyWidow
      @OneHappyWidow  3 місяці тому

      Thanks for sharing that beautiful moment and incredible lesson for us all!

  • @parler8698
    @parler8698 4 дні тому

    2 donkeys 🫏 🫏

  • @annegiarratana7744
    @annegiarratana7744 5 місяців тому +1

    Our loved ones are always around as spirits they see everything especially they never miss big occasions

    • @chelseajbri
      @chelseajbri 5 місяців тому

      So true 🎯🙏🏽