Who Is Skyrim's Biggest Idiot?

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
  • There are A LOT of idiot's in Skyrim... so let's rank them.
    -
    #skyrim

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,6 тис.

  • @d4cto
    @d4cto 8 місяців тому +2816

    Probably that one thief that REALLY wants to rob me when he sees me in a fully enchanted Stalhrim armor.

    • @Linus_B
      @Linus_B 8 місяців тому +229

      “Nice try, but you don't scare me. I'm not going to ask again.”
      “Don’t you walk away from me!”

    • @ChucktheSpicyChicken
      @ChucktheSpicyChicken 8 місяців тому +64

      Me, who just got dawnfang wearing full dwarven armor, getting "ambushed" (he walked right infront of me and tryed threatening me) by a thief in leather armor with two iron daggers:

    • @Richard-by6br
      @Richard-by6br 8 місяців тому +1

      Bwahahaha, true!!

    • @JStryker47
      @JStryker47 8 місяців тому +31

      Especially since thieves are supposed to *avoid* detection by their victims.

    • @lily_astral
      @lily_astral 7 місяців тому +68

      "Empty your pockets!"
      Currently beast form werewolf...

  • @Ted_Kenzoku
    @Ted_Kenzoku 8 місяців тому +2407

    Delphine not only asks us to kill a priceless asset. She dares say she will not speak to the dragonborn if he refuses to do so. When her whole bloodline is about protecting the dragonborn and obeying his orders.
    She goes against the very foundation of her organization she loves so much because of her karen issues.

    • @elijahgrimm8052
      @elijahgrimm8052 8 місяців тому +251

      Yeah that bit always threw me for a loop. "I am the Dragonborn and you protect and serve me, and obey my command, right?" -DB
      "Yes, that is right." -D
      "OK, cool. Parthaanaax lives, and goes free." -DB
      "lol no, fuck you nerd. Talk to that gross ass lizard again and you're out of the cool kids group." -D
      Stellar Bethesda writing at it's peak. How has this company not been gutted and replaced by former Obsidian employees by now? And also, how is fucking Todd still around? If I fucked up at my job as much as he did, I'd be blacklisted. Not even just fired. I'd have to go to another country for work.

    • @RealBradMiller
      @RealBradMiller 8 місяців тому +113

      And the Blades will finally die due to her inability to compromise or think of future ramifications.

    • @IndyMiraaga
      @IndyMiraaga 8 місяців тому +70

      ​@@elijahgrimm8052Todd has led teams that made games that sell like crazy. Starfield is his first true flop, even if Skyrim and Fallout 4 were mid they still sold insanely well. Profit > integrity to companies.

    • @elijahgrimm8052
      @elijahgrimm8052 8 місяців тому +42

      @@IndyMiraagaSo 76 wasn't one of the biggest game flops in history? Interesting.

    • @TheVnator
      @TheVnator 8 місяців тому +39

      @@elijahgrimm8052 He didn't lead the team that made it. In fact, it wasn't even made by Bethesda but another company entirely!

  • @AesirUnlimited
    @AesirUnlimited 8 місяців тому +2005

    That guy at the beginning of the game who told the imperials to hurry his execution up. If he let them say his last rights, he may have survived due to Alduin attacking.

    • @goatkiller2869
      @goatkiller2869 8 місяців тому +231

      Well that guy didn’t have any knowledge of Alduin being about to attack Helgen so he assumed that they were all going to die anyway so might as well get it done with sooner rather than later however I will concede that he is still a bit stupid for not letting them read him his last rights

    • @reaper_exd7498
      @reaper_exd7498 8 місяців тому +62

      Lol i think that every time. Glad someone said it

    • @ClamantesDaemonium
      @ClamantesDaemonium 8 місяців тому +142

      To be fair, the priestess giving those rites had just cited "the Eight Divines" like that wasnt one big final insult on top of fatal injury. "Oh, sure, lets get the gods, you know, the REAL gods, the ELVEN ones, not that one weird dude, to grant your souls peace as we kill you." The first guy in line for execution was the only one who could reasonably have interrupted (if anyone behind him had said hurry up, we could all agree that would be whack) and he took the moment to tell the Empire that he didnt need their false humility and faux generosity.
      The Stormcloaks were definitely led by an idiot, imo, but everyone gives that one guy grief when it's kinda badass (dumb, maybe, to not cling to life for every second he could).

    • @Amadeus8484
      @Amadeus8484 8 місяців тому +23

      How could he have possibly known that though?

    • @AesirUnlimited
      @AesirUnlimited 8 місяців тому +11

      @@Amadeus8484 By being smart. Duh.

  • @nonbisco
    @nonbisco 8 місяців тому +3384

    Delphine, gotta be, I'm calling it.

    • @Yoder023
      @Yoder023 8 місяців тому +44

      Same

    • @Sherrybirkin2012
      @Sherrybirkin2012 8 місяців тому +30

      Absolutely

    • @Sherrybirkin2012
      @Sherrybirkin2012 8 місяців тому +130

      Delphine has 2 be the most hated character in Skyrim.

    • @mantaminer6669
      @mantaminer6669 8 місяців тому +3

      ​​@@Sherrybirkin2012 For good reason as well.

    • @Yata544
      @Yata544 8 місяців тому +20

      Yup, the top DUO of Stupidity in this game

  • @brianensign7638
    @brianensign7638 7 місяців тому +474

    I am the biggest idiot in Skyrim for repeatedly plummeting to my death out of simple impatience.

  • @countdooku7020
    @countdooku7020 8 місяців тому +601

    The thief with leather armor trying to rob a dragon born with a full set of dragon armor 😂

    • @nighttimeserenity2447
      @nighttimeserenity2447 2 місяці тому +6

      Is that confidence, or bravado? Confidence i can use. Bravado gets *Thieves* killed.

  • @amitbechor7575
    @amitbechor7575 8 місяців тому +347

    "Kill paarthurnax"
    "Or?"
    "I'M...i'm just gonna sit in sky heaven temple...until..you do...but I'm telling you what to do ok? cause I'm important"
    "k"

    • @a.s.raiyan2003-4
      @a.s.raiyan2003-4 4 місяці тому +48

      (ignores her and the blades for the rest of the game)

    • @Emanuel-o1s
      @Emanuel-o1s 3 місяці тому +14

      (puts her asset from essential to non essential)

    • @SFHFWill
      @SFHFWill 3 місяці тому +4

      Karens aren't confined to earth it seems

  • @top_banananaplays
    @top_banananaplays 8 місяців тому +1263

    Anyone else get mad when Delphine watches a dragon be resurrected by another dragon and then blame it on the Thalmor? Open your eyes!

    • @MLPDethDealr32
      @MLPDethDealr32 8 місяців тому

      no. I blame it on the morons that excuse themselves for being " writers".

    • @MrEntaray
      @MrEntaray 8 місяців тому

      "NOOOOO IT HAS THE BE THE THALMOR, MY CONSPIRACIES NEED TO BE ENFORCED! HELP ME, YOU IDIOT DRAGONBORN!"
      Bitch, I ain't got time for this.

    • @alyssamay9237
      @alyssamay9237 8 місяців тому +174

      No no but uh (checks notes) the THALMOR are CONTROLLING the other dragon, yeah! Because uh... Thalmor!

    • @vivecald-vehk6978
      @vivecald-vehk6978 7 місяців тому +107

      Delphine really be acting like that crazy aunt/uncle, thinking that everything bad in the world and everythign they dont personally like is because of some shadowy group lmao

    • @emperorkeemy1458
      @emperorkeemy1458 7 місяців тому +11

      Da thalmor are behind za plot

  • @OmnipotentSpud
    @OmnipotentSpud 8 місяців тому +529

    Obviously, it's Delphine. But I'll throw one at yall. Septimus Signus. For such a clever guy, it's weird that he didn't see how having the DB do his work for him would definitely make him disposable to a Daedra.

    • @goldedrag111
      @goldedrag111 8 місяців тому +111

      To be fair Septimus was driven crazy.

    • @Leadathan
      @Leadathan 8 місяців тому +32

      Yeah dudes old and senile

    • @Amadeus8484
      @Amadeus8484 8 місяців тому +29

      Septimus had gone three quarters insane by the time you meet him...

    • @rodnickphillips114
      @rodnickphillips114 8 місяців тому +1

      Great Vidd

    • @SeviathTheHumanDrago
      @SeviathTheHumanDrago 8 місяців тому +2

      ​@@Amadeus8484The fourth quarter when you return.

  • @JeffOfTheMountains
    @JeffOfTheMountains 8 місяців тому +697

    It's always Delphine. Always will be. Party Snax is way more helpful in the main quest line than the "Blades" could ever be. Plus, he doesn't boss you around like Delphine does.

    • @Linus_B
      @Linus_B 8 місяців тому +101

      Not to mention Delphine calls the Dragonborn stupid if they ask if they can trust her, stating they shouldn’t have followed her if they didn’t. As if she didn’t just lead one of the most powerful mortals alive into her basement without a plan B?!

    • @Chiva.
      @Chiva. 8 місяців тому +51

      Lol, Party Snax😂

    • @Amadeus8484
      @Amadeus8484 8 місяців тому +62

      The Blades cannot even handle the Thalmor. Parthurnax has created a small group of Philosopher Dragons who could very well be up there in terms of power, wisdom and good as the Psijic Order. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who is the winning team. As it is, Esbern might die of old age in a few years, if the Thalmor don't find them first and Delphine will then truly be on her own, she won't even have an Inn to fall back on.

    • @Umbra_Ursus
      @Umbra_Ursus 8 місяців тому +52

      It should also be mentioned that he saved all mortal races *twice,* and all Delphine has ever done is both be the Elder Scrolls personification of Peggy Hill, and seemingly *trying* to waste our time. Don't even mention she's, by all accounts, a heretic to the Blades: Are we, as dragonborn, not basically her god?

    • @Amadeus8484
      @Amadeus8484 8 місяців тому +12

      @@Umbra_Ursus Peggy Hill is a very apt comparison hahahaha

  • @sophiemendez5567
    @sophiemendez5567 8 місяців тому +547

    Savos can't sleep because his bed is too far away for him to go to it. He's not stupid, he's extremely tired. 😂

    • @opticalraven1935
      @opticalraven1935 4 місяці тому +14

      I'm convinced he was suicidal

    • @1th_to_comment.
      @1th_to_comment. 3 місяці тому +10

      ​@@opticalraven1935 after labyrinthian? Probably.

  • @Mark-uh3un
    @Mark-uh3un 8 місяців тому +456

    Has to be Astrid, did she really believe Commander Maro would not come after her after the dark brotherhood killed his son?

    • @brandonjames412
      @brandonjames412 8 місяців тому +84

      Astrid is a solid choice. Defying the Nightmother wasn’t particularly wise, either; she was just obsessed with keeping her control of the DB and became blinded.

    • @stopthink7202
      @stopthink7202 7 місяців тому +49

      Yeah. I always wondered about that one "I know we just murdered your son but how do you feel about a piece negotiation?" lol

    • @zehkiel8018
      @zehkiel8018 6 місяців тому +44

      Not to mention she betrayed Sithis. She falls into the "You betrayed the guy you gave your soul to" club. It's not a good club.

    • @ItsChevnotJeff
      @ItsChevnotJeff 5 місяців тому +3

      There is a mod that lets Astrid live and have Arnbjorn be the snitch, which I guess could open her up for redemption for both the brotherhood and the Night Mother

    • @M3TALG0DS
      @M3TALG0DS 5 місяців тому +10

      @@ItsChevnotJeffwouldn’t be shocked if that was meant for romance options

  • @EneruM
    @EneruM 8 місяців тому +298

    What about that Thalmor that comes to kill you after you get the Staff of Magnus, sent by Ancano?
    "You fool, you don't stand a chance".
    My mer, don't you realize what i just get rid of in this very same dungeon?

    • @defensivejackass4690
      @defensivejackass4690 8 місяців тому +12

      And with a iron dagger.

    • @nobody5093
      @nobody5093 8 місяців тому +30

      Honestly its not a bad plan have the adventure go through this supposedly hard dungeon and then kill them when they should be weakened. The only problem was that the adventure is over powered

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 6 місяців тому +38

      "You may expect me to be weakened after this whole ass dungeon,unfortunately for you i have more healing potions than all pharmacies of Tamriel."

    • @discountplaguedoctor88
      @discountplaguedoctor88 6 місяців тому +12

      Frankly, the Thalmor are allergic to not picking fights with guys who butcher dragons on a regular basis.

    • @opticalraven1935
      @opticalraven1935 4 місяці тому +4

      My DB: "How convenient! We're in a tomb, deep underground. Shall I show you your new home?"

  • @BRexxors
    @BRexxors 7 місяців тому +63

    Biggest fool in Skyrim: everyone who isn’t Belethor and the Dragonborn.

    • @MrDoYouKnowMe2211
      @MrDoYouKnowMe2211 11 днів тому +2

      Genuinely, Belethor may be the smartest man in Skyrim.

    • @AnonymousBuddha
      @AnonymousBuddha День тому

      Belethor XD Hahaha omgosh thank you for the laugh 😂

  • @iamkrosis7317
    @iamkrosis7317 8 місяців тому +482

    Yea Delphine, Ulfric and Astrid are pretty dumb but you know whos worse? Chief Yamarz, bro either runs up on a giant and gets sent to Skyrims Space Program or tries takin on the dude he pays to kill said giant. Either way is a L for him

    • @Umbra_Ursus
      @Umbra_Ursus 8 місяців тому +25

      Fun note? You can "spare" him. Last time, I just left him there, and went back to his camp; The game ignores he isn't dead, and plays out as if he died attacking you, if memory serves.

    • @street1111
      @street1111 7 місяців тому

      Exactly

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 7 місяців тому +36

      "I'm too weak to fight the giant. Hey you, defeat the giant and you get money"
      Proceeds to fight the guy who is stronger than the guy he couldn't beat...

    • @LoopyDreamz775
      @LoopyDreamz775 4 місяці тому +1

      Typical Orc…Jk I love my orcs,
      Easily my top 5 favorite races, they are up there with Redguards, Dunmer and nords.

    • @massimo4307
      @massimo4307 Місяць тому +2

      Stormcloaks are the correct side. Siding with the empire is evil

  • @sophiemendez5567
    @sophiemendez5567 8 місяців тому +387

    No, mercer is stupid because he messed with the one daedric prince he'll end being with after he dies. How can you pledge your soul to a demoness, then betray her while still alive. Mercer should have used the key to find a way to be immortal and left most of the loot in the thieves guild safe. He could have simply stolen the plans and only the truly valuable loot and left the rest. Instead he wanted everything and was arrogant. So he died.

    • @MinnowTF
      @MinnowTF 8 місяців тому +113

      It’s foolish to sell your soul to anyone, but betraying whoever already owns your soul is next-level idiotic

    • @noodler5583
      @noodler5583 8 місяців тому +22

      Probably could have used the skeleton key to free him from that pledge

    • @GothicBran7
      @GothicBran7 8 місяців тому

      @@noodler5583😂😂😂😂

    • @MoaRider
      @MoaRider 8 місяців тому

      This. Anyone who pledges to her is a knuckle dragger by default.

    • @Digidragon55
      @Digidragon55 8 місяців тому +10

      I never believed Mercer was an overall idiot. He did frame Kailah for a very long time. Along, with covering Gallus’s death. So, that must of taken some time and effort.

  • @geraldlamb9587
    @geraldlamb9587 8 місяців тому +227

    Honestly, if you're going to pick a Jarl for this list, it should be Laila Law-Giver, hands down. It is a minor miracle that her breathtaking cluelessness hasn't caused Riften to become overrun by bandits.
    Siddgeir, Korir, and Skald all deserve mention ahead of Balgruuf as well.
    But by far the biggest idiots in all of Skyrim are the pitiful souls who, having just seen someone single-handedly kill a dragon and then absorb its soul, decide it is a genius idea to attack said someone.

    • @poilboiler
      @poilboiler 8 місяців тому

      Considering that Maven is pretty much completely in charge in Riften, and it's the sewer infested with the thieves guild morons, you could argue that the city HAS been overrun by bandits.
      The imperial guy who takes over in Winterhold is pretty stupid, he is a total suck up to the brainless lunatics at the college.

    • @stopthink7202
      @stopthink7202 7 місяців тому +3

      What would you call Maven black briar then?

    • @KaoruMzk
      @KaoruMzk 7 місяців тому +20

      Laila is just a puppet. Maven is the real ruler of Riften.

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 7 місяців тому +15

      ​@@KaoruMzk exactly. How could Riften be overrun by bandits, when it's already in the hands of the local organized crime.

    • @bigroaststyrone8135
      @bigroaststyrone8135 5 місяців тому +3

      It’s because everybody already knows how incompetent the rest of the Jarl’s are. This list is doing something different by highlighting the fact that Balgruuf’s far from perfect too

  • @baronscarpia1
    @baronscarpia1 6 місяців тому +93

    Astrid is Not Smart when you first meet her. She knows that you're capable of killing, she's just kidnapped you, and then she puts you in a shack with all your weapons and potions and spells before commanding you to follow her orders. She has no backup and no escape route. She simply lounges on a shelf, completely open to attack.
    Then, after you've introduced her head to a warhammer, a questline opens up where you can easily travel to the Dark Brotherhood headquarters and slaughter everyone. Her pointless posturing and empty threats lead very shortly to the destruction of her organisation. Well done, Astrid.

    • @ninjathis3009
      @ninjathis3009 5 місяців тому +11

      To be fair, she manages to kidnap the dragonborn with seemingly little difficulty. She probably got lax when she was able to drag you all the way from whatever bed you chose to nap in, to a grimey shack all the way out past Morthal.
      It's almost comical, imagining the lengths she has to go to to make the journey if you are sleeping in somewhere like Riften.

    • @baronscarpia1
      @baronscarpia1 5 місяців тому +6

      @@ninjathis3009 Amusingly, I was indeed sleeping in Riften. I couldn't believe it when after killing her I looked at the map and saw where I was.

    • @benjadryl_7393
      @benjadryl_7393 5 місяців тому +13

      there's a theory about that first meeting with astrid that I don't fully believe but would definitely explain her idiocy here. She tells you that someone in the room with you has a contract put out on them but doesn't tell you who. That contract could be on one of the other people she kidnapped, but it could also be on you or her. If you kill her in the shack, her last words will be "well done", which implies that either she was the one with the contract or that she is just complimenting the dragonborn. If the contract is actually for her, then it would make a lot of sense for her to leave herself so defenseless, it would just mean that she wants out of all of it. Or, the more likely scenario, Bethesda didn't put any thought into it and just thought it would be a cool intro.

    • @dubiousbrick4483
      @dubiousbrick4483 5 місяців тому +5

      I always disliked her attitude so when I finally got to making a morally good character that would have to destroy the dark brotherhood (and nab the outfit to help sneak around the Thalmor embassy) I realized then just how silly she is. Lounging on the book case, I got a bunch of free hits in on her while she went to get down off the case and before she could even pull the blade of woe out, my unrelenting force shout ragdolled her to the ground whilst I beat her to death before she could even get back up. Ultimately, after realizing my sword & board Dragonborn had no sneak proficiency, the armor I looted from her to use in the Thalmor didn’t actually help any to sneak, everyone just noticed me immediately, even though I was sneaking and not at all in line of sight, I might as well have just snuck my regular heavy armor in and went (swords?) blazing hacking and slashing them down.

    • @justinmacdonald2102
      @justinmacdonald2102 3 місяці тому

      ​@@benjadryl_7393the more likely theory is that the contract is on us the dragonborn which there actually is a contract out on the dragonborn and its actually comical that Astrid never mentions the fact that she sent someone after our character.

  • @MephiticMiasma
    @MephiticMiasma 8 місяців тому +187

    I nominate Azzadal, the bard of Bard's Leap... his one line?
    "Been a long time since someone took the leap. Longer still since any survived it. I once performed the entirety of the Poetic Edda from atop Bard's Leap before trying my luck. Well, you can see how that turned out."
    ...yes, he's a ghost.

    • @breakpain999
      @breakpain999 8 місяців тому +11

      I don't know maybe he was just depressed

    • @zakals
      @zakals 8 місяців тому

      ​@@breakpain999or stupid

    • @martinxvidxb
      @martinxvidxb 7 місяців тому +5

      As you know about him... You must have... kinda... jump it too. ... ? xD

    • @anut8733
      @anut8733 6 місяців тому +6

      Nah, he just have a serious thrill issue, just like the player.
      And the fact that you met him is a proof that you did the very thing that he does, and survived unlike him.

    • @charimonfanboy
      @charimonfanboy 6 місяців тому +5

      The whole thing is poking fun at Assassins Creed. You're just lucky they didn't put a haybale at the bottom

  • @chefjosephkowles575
    @chefjosephkowles575 8 місяців тому +135

    Nazim for assuming I haven’t been to the cloud district. I operated 4 air bnbs in the cloud district

  • @onutrof1157
    @onutrof1157 8 місяців тому +591

    Isran
    -Sees Serana, a vampire, the thing he swore to destroy
    Dragonborn: "She can help us"
    Isran: "K makes sense, carry on"
    Esbern and Delphine
    -Hear that some old dragon is still alive, bothering no one
    Dragonborn: "He can help us"
    Esbern and Delphine: "NOOOOOO HE'S A MURDERER HE KILLED MY GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER HE CAN'T LIVE KILL HIM KILL HIM NOWWWW REEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

    • @kujojotaro4579
      @kujojotaro4579 7 місяців тому +14

      🤣

    • @KaoruMzk
      @KaoruMzk 7 місяців тому +97

      That's why Isran is GOATed.
      Sucks that he can't be a follower on vanilla.

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 7 місяців тому +76

      The difference between someone who listens to reason and someone who is blinded by dogma.
      Even the leader of an organized group of vampire hunters (who previously was in a religious order that fights vampires and other monsters) at least opens his ear.
      Because you can always kill the vampire later, after she has helped us.

    • @kevinflynn4649
      @kevinflynn4649 6 місяців тому +6

      Was the vampire in question knowingly responsible for centuries of torture and some of the worst crimes committed against humanity? I'm sorry I used to be all in favor of unquestionably sparing Paarthurnax, but even he admits that it'd be difficult to trust him Implicitly

    • @connorrasmussen1167
      @connorrasmussen1167 6 місяців тому +31

      @@kevinflynn4649 well he has tried to repent for his past actions, since he didnt have a choice, Alduin wouldve killed Paarthurnax if he disobeyed any of his orders

  • @Sasso-pf1mo
    @Sasso-pf1mo 8 місяців тому +207

    The biggest idiot is often found in the cloud district

    • @ZanathKariashi
      @ZanathKariashi 8 місяців тому

      According to his wife he's usually found with his head firmly up Balgruuf's ass.

    • @acleanpairofsocks
      @acleanpairofsocks 8 місяців тому +54

      I wouldn’t know, I don’t get there very often

    • @ElsmorePlayz
      @ElsmorePlayz 7 місяців тому +34

      Ironically he's almost never there, instead he's harassing people in the market

    • @Corpsemangle01
      @Corpsemangle01 6 місяців тому +4

      Nazeem?

    • @VidralliaArchives
      @VidralliaArchives 5 місяців тому +1

      More specifically, the biggest idiot is found in the Jarl's backside. At least according to said idiot's wife.

  • @brandonjames412
    @brandonjames412 8 місяців тому +72

    I’ve got a sleeper pick for the bottom half of the list, though I don’t know who I’d remove.
    Yamarz. The Orc Chief of Largashbur.
    Think about it: First, the Dragonborn discovers Largashbur, and likely, saves the Orc settlement from a giant. At worst, the Dragonborn helps significantly.
    After that, the Dragonborn goes on a fetch quest to get the stuff to summon Malacath.
    Malacath, a Daedric Prince who has clearly seen everything that has been unfolding, is summoned and commands Yamarz to accompany the Dragonborn to Fallowstone Cave to slay a giant and retrieve Shagrol’s Warhammer.
    The Dragonborn can basically solo that giant, and another one found on the way to the Warhammer, as well as some bears.
    Only after that does Yamarz find his bollocks and, for whatever reason, decides he can beat the Dragonborn one on one as he doesn’t want the tribe to know the Dragonborn was responsible for killing the giant.
    That makes Yamarz an idiot because, while he’s scared of the giants, he thinks he can beat someone capable of easily solo’ing them.
    Worse than, even if Yamarz had won the fight against the Dragonborn (not a chance), Malacath would have still known that Yamarz didn’t kill the giant.

    • @thissitesucks905
      @thissitesucks905 4 місяці тому +4

      I didn't consider yamarz, but I think you're right

    • @kingrooper
      @kingrooper Місяць тому

      Yeah, that one is an idiot and also a coward that spends time with his orc wench lollygagging instead of dealing with the Giants. You can even see his debauchery leftovers in said orc hold. Guy deserves the giant moon landing.

  • @skorpion3993
    @skorpion3993 8 місяців тому +116

    Whilst I agree that Mercer’s plan was flawed at best, he does also offer one of the best and most factual lines of dialogue in the game in my opinion with “When will you open your eyes and realise how little my actions differ from yours? Both of us lie, cheat and steal to further our own end”.

    • @gabrielbarron7667
      @gabrielbarron7667 8 місяців тому +20

      The difference of Mercer and the player, is the player doesnt try to kill people obviously far stronger than them

    • @Umbra_Ursus
      @Umbra_Ursus 8 місяців тому +56

      That's a good line, yes. But Paarthurnax has the best in the game, if not series: "What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"

    • @danielzepeda2420
      @danielzepeda2420 8 місяців тому +14

      The thing about Mercer is KARLIAH , WHEN WILL YOU LEARN YOU, CAN'T GET THE DROP ON HIM.

    • @skorpion3993
      @skorpion3993 8 місяців тому +6

      @@Umbra_Ursus That’s also a great line

    • @shadowrose8907
      @shadowrose8907 8 місяців тому

      I do that kind of a lot, because stealth archer 😅 Granted, it does NOT always work out for me@@gabrielbarron7667

  • @basebassguy
    @basebassguy 8 місяців тому +59

    2:30 The funniest part of this is his farm is doing terribly despite his bragging, and his wife is almost certainly cheating on him at the temple she spends all her time at.

    • @frantisekvrana3902
      @frantisekvrana3902 7 місяців тому +19

      So _that's_ why one of the priests has the key to their house!

    • @basebassguy
      @basebassguy 7 місяців тому +7

      @@frantisekvrana3902 Yeahhhhh she def made a copy in secret lol

    • @PoseurGoth
      @PoseurGoth 6 місяців тому

      And the other priestess is basically encouraging her to murder him.

    • @benjadryl_7393
      @benjadryl_7393 5 місяців тому +1

      not only that, but the guy doesn't even have his own house. He rents the room on the second floor of the drunken huntsman. Every sentence he speaks is about how rich he is, but the idiot is so poor he has to rent a room in a bar.

  • @SoulScore88
    @SoulScore88 8 місяців тому +71

    The DB assassin that came at me in broad daylight, with low level gear and no form of poison or plan.

    • @arwahsapi
      @arwahsapi 8 місяців тому

      Everyone in DB armor looks idiot

    • @kristaskrastina2863
      @kristaskrastina2863 5 місяців тому +11

      Yes. It reminds me of Morrowind where an infinite stream of DB assassins was a whole side business because of their valuable armour. And yes, they really liked to fight a war hammer or a maul with a dagger. DB should stand for "Debilitated Blockheads".

  • @Phentari
    @Phentari 8 місяців тому +79

    I think the Imperial captain who decides to sentence you to death for the crime of "Can't be bothered to check" at the beginning of the game deserves a nod. She's probably the primary cause for at least half of the games where the Dragonborn sides with Ulfric.

    • @zehkiel8018
      @zehkiel8018 6 місяців тому +9

      Fair. And goodness knows Stormcloak Dragonborn is the worst variant of the timeline except for Vampire Lord Dragonborn... and even then that's only in lore. In game play you mildly inconvenience people by making it a little dark. Whereas Stormcloak Dragonborn condemns the entirety of Tamriel to Thalmor control after they fuck off at the end of the story.

    • @charimonfanboy
      @charimonfanboy 6 місяців тому +9

      @@zehkiel8018 A strong Skyrim is more likely to be able to save the Empire from the Thalmor than a weak Empire that includes Skyrim to save itself. Ulfric is a powerhungry ahole and the worst possible leader, but his cause is right and a Free Skyrim can become strong and when the Thalmor attack again, they have a better chance to save the day.
      Imperial held Skyrim would be subject to rebellion after rebellion. Let's not forget that Ulfric was a dupe of the Thalmor, he was their captive, released in order to make trouble. The White-Gold concordant was designed to isolate Cyrodil from it's provinces. Hammerfell lost territory they would never surrender so the Empire had to cut them off and Talos worship was banned to cut the Nords out. Should the Imperials win, the Thalmor would just release more prisoners of war to create another rebellion.

    • @zehkiel8018
      @zehkiel8018 6 місяців тому +10

      @@charimonfanboy Except it won't be a strong Skyrim. They're going to drive out every non-Nord and cripple themselves, handicapping their population. Because the Stormcloaks are just that short sighted and little better than Reachmen.

    • @charimonfanboy
      @charimonfanboy 6 місяців тому +15

      @@zehkiel8018 Self rule is not the same as expel everyone else. Ulfric and the stormcloaks rule Windhelm with no Imperial oversight.
      They still accepted dunmer refugees and never expelled them. There's even Altmer merchants in the city who own property. It's pretty far from ideal, but they are there, unexpelled or murdered or anything. And this is the city the most racist stormcloaks fled to.
      Elsewhere, ruled by more moderate Jarls, you just wouldn't see it happening

    • @NevinWarrior-es6ds
      @NevinWarrior-es6ds 2 місяці тому

      ​@@charimonfanboy considering how badly they treat other races and keep argonions outside the walls, yeah they're probably gonna drive them out and or keep them in one poor city for life

  • @LorainPsycho
    @LorainPsycho 8 місяців тому +86

    Delphine. I'm not even watching the video. But if it's not Delphine then this video is wrong

    • @ElsmorePlayz
      @ElsmorePlayz 7 місяців тому +10

      Delphine was fairly high in the list, and for the exact same reasons u might think however, there were a few that were quite a bit dumber, with Ulfric getting number 1

    • @stopthink7202
      @stopthink7202 7 місяців тому +1

      Agreed

  • @harryfarrar1540
    @harryfarrar1540 8 місяців тому +115

    the dragonborn for being suckered into doing everything

    • @thedeadpoolwhochuckles.6852
      @thedeadpoolwhochuckles.6852 8 місяців тому +3

      But you're the dragon born.

    • @harryfarrar1540
      @harryfarrar1540 8 місяців тому

      Yes@@thedeadpoolwhochuckles.6852

    • @charimonfanboy
      @charimonfanboy 6 місяців тому +13

      Particularly bounty quests, clearing entire bandit camps for 100 gold...
      Oh, and joining a band of vampire hunters, running into a vampire on your first mission who has an elder scroll. Fails to kill her immediately, fails to secure the scroll, actually takes her to her castle and walks inside with a "come bite me" attitude

    • @amaguni_pikore
      @amaguni_pikore 4 місяці тому +1

      well at least i got money from those db contracts for my quaint manor...

    • @anvos658
      @anvos658 3 місяці тому +2

      Well you quickly become one of the wealthiest and strongest people in Skyrim so not really suckered.

  • @MadMechanica
    @MadMechanica 8 місяців тому +42

    I vote Lokir of Rorikstead, for trying to run away in a base full of soldiers trained with the bow.
    If he had bid his time, during the dragon attack he may have escaped.

    • @PoseurGoth
      @PoseurGoth 6 місяців тому +6

      To be fair, he was panicking and did something idiotic, and that's not exactly the same as actually being an idiot.

    • @MinnowTF
      @MinnowTF 6 місяців тому +9

      Because it’s perfectly reasonable to expect a dragon attack to save you before your execution

  • @ericflood8820
    @ericflood8820 8 місяців тому +180

    It's Tullius. Instead of having Ulfric executed first at Helgen, he allowed that captain to kill some random nobody stormcloak and then order an even more random unarmed nobody in hobo rags go second.

    • @SirStanleytheStumbler
      @SirStanleytheStumbler 8 місяців тому +26

      A truly "you had ONE job, just the one" moment.

    • @JStryker47
      @JStryker47 8 місяців тому +49

      Or, it's said idiot captain, for insisting on executing said unarmed nobody for absolutely no reason at all; which would've doomed Skyrim if said random nobody stormcloak hadn't insisted on getting his own execution over with first.

    • @stopthink7202
      @stopthink7202 7 місяців тому +37

      Tulius. "okay men. we better kill Ulfric first. Just in case an ancient forgotten dragon who was lost in time thousands of years ago and has never been seen since, suddenly appears and lands on this very tower. Guard?? Why are you laughing? it could happen to anyone"

    • @yoursonisold8743
      @yoursonisold8743 7 місяців тому +24

      @@stopthink7202 Let's assume that they are smart and remember they are in enemy territory and that the locals might start an attack at any time to free Ulfric. Getting the big leader executed first solves so many more problems regardless of Alduin coming along.

    • @lavishtato
      @lavishtato 7 місяців тому +2

      Okay true, but... even if they executed Ulfric first... he wouldn't have been a dick head like the first Stormcloak and interrupt the priest lady. Even if he wasn't gagged--- I don't think he would have interrupted her. Which means that it literally didn't matter.

  • @gladesucks7907
    @gladesucks7907 2 місяці тому +8

    The Blades exist to serve the Dragonborn, then Delphine shows up and acts like she owns us

  • @slayallrebels5996
    @slayallrebels5996 8 місяців тому +41

    Shoutout to the roadside thief running out to rob the werewolf. "Nice try, but you don't scare me."

    • @eliaspanayi3465
      @eliaspanayi3465 4 місяці тому +9

      "Hand over your valuables or I'll gut you like a fish" *stares in daedric plate armour

  • @JStryker47
    @JStryker47 7 місяців тому +85

    I say it's the Imperial Captain in the beginning. If she had one single brain cell in her head, the conversation would've gone like this:
    Hadvar: "Captain, he/she's not on the list. What should we do?"
    Captain: "What was his/her crime?"
    Hadvar: "Beats me."
    Captain: "Well, he/she clearly doesn't belong here then. Let him/her go!"
    Hadvar: "By your orders, Captain."

    • @WiggaMachiavelli
      @WiggaMachiavelli 7 місяців тому

      But the crime was illegally crossing the provincial border into a war zone. For all they know you're sneaking in to join Ulfric's clause.

    • @MB32904
      @MB32904 7 місяців тому +1

      "forget the list, he goes on the block"
      tullius: wtf??? glad that bitch is dead

    • @SebasTian58323
      @SebasTian58323 7 місяців тому +4

      "He/She was caught trying to cross the border, same as the thief that just ran off"

    • @JStryker47
      @JStryker47 7 місяців тому +11

      @@SebasTian58323 You mean the horse thief who was *on the list?*

    • @SebasTian58323
      @SebasTian58323 7 місяців тому +6

      @@JStryker47 is kinda weird that two people who got caught presumably around the same time are so different in that regard. Why was the horse thief on the list, and not the unknown -insert race here-that was caught around the same time? Is stealing a horse such a great crime that it deserves the same punishment as the stormcloaks?

  • @KatonRyu
    @KatonRyu 8 місяців тому +69

    I'd still consider Delphine to be the biggest moron in Skyrim for thinking she has any right to order the Dragonborn around after pretty much saying the entire duty of the Blades is serving the Dragonborn. I really wish you could legitimately complete the main quest without her involvement instead of having to abuse the console to do it.

    • @Gyovali
      @Gyovali 8 місяців тому +4

      The quests and other stuff given when you kill parthurnax is technically a branch off the main quest and is not mandatory for any of the actual main story content, including dlc. It's just the blades radiant quests that are locked if you ignore that one.

    • @KatonRyu
      @KatonRyu 8 місяців тому +7

      @@Gyovali Yeah, but I typically ditch her as soon as I get the horn back. I never fight Sahloknir with her, don't do Diplomatic Immunity, and simply use the console to advance the main quest to the point where I need to get Dragonrend. Delphine's usually dead at that point anyway through more console magic.

    • @ElsmorePlayz
      @ElsmorePlayz 7 місяців тому +8

      ​@@Gyovalibut refusing to kill paarthurnax gives you access to grey beards radiant quests, which gives directions for words of power, imo that's more beneficial than getting exact locations of dragons when you're gonna get dragons randomly, and fairly common

    • @RaijinHanshi
      @RaijinHanshi 4 місяці тому +2

      I wish you can hand over delphine to the Thalmor.. that would be a great feeling. This includes her partner in crime Esbern. Hes another idiot.

  • @JustSomeKittenwithaGun
    @JustSomeKittenwithaGun 4 місяці тому +12

    "Do you get to the clou-"
    YES Nazeem... I have walked down the second of TWO roads in all of Whiterun.

  • @stevenswapp4768
    @stevenswapp4768 8 місяців тому +27

    I like the the guy who runs up and forces you to take the sword, and without letting you say a word, says he will kill you if you "betray him"

    • @ironic4910
      @ironic4910 8 місяців тому +1

      And He never shows up again

    • @arashimifune2853
      @arashimifune2853 6 місяців тому +6

      In my latest playthrough, he ran up to me when I was attempting to hunt some bandits. I was hidden, he was not. I survived the encounter with the bandits, he did not 🤷‍♀

    • @stevenswapp4768
      @stevenswapp4768 6 місяців тому

      @@arashimifune2853 haha nice. The last time I saw him, his pursuer ran right past him, almost bumping into the schmuck, asking "have you seen some ugly schmuck round here?"
      (Paraphrasing of course)

    • @charimonfanboy
      @charimonfanboy 6 місяців тому +3

      That was actually a thing, mostly in late medieval cities. The thief would grab the goods from the mark, secretly palm the goods to a bagman and run off. If the city guard catches the thief, he has no stolen goods on him, he might not be arrested.
      But if the bagman was caught, there was a common excuse of "I was an innocent bystander, threatened to hold these goods, honest" Which is unlikely because the whole point is palming the goods off is meant to be done fast and secret, which isn't possible if you have to talk to the bagman.

    • @stevenswapp4768
      @stevenswapp4768 6 місяців тому

      @@charimonfanboy wow that's cool! Thx

  • @TheRealEllis0304
    @TheRealEllis0304 8 місяців тому +26

    Delphine... I hate her, she wanted me to kill mario whom helped me

  • @roykiefer-tr1dr
    @roykiefer-tr1dr 8 місяців тому +31

    It's Todd Howard. There's no such thing as a Bethesda game without bugs, glitches, broken npcs, and more updates to futher break the game that the modders fixed. But by the end of the day "It just works!".

    • @ZanathKariashi
      @ZanathKariashi 8 місяців тому +7

      Todd: It just works (after unpayed modders fix it all for us).

    • @dannierivera8491
      @dannierivera8491 3 місяці тому

      Those aren't bugs damn it, they're features 😂

    • @NevinWarrior-es6ds
      @NevinWarrior-es6ds 2 місяці тому

      ​@ZanathKariashi uhhhhhhh I've never used mods and the games aren't bad, like that don't crash or bug out, maybe a random chicken stuck in the ground but t that's it

  • @X_x_ShadowGaming_x_X
    @X_x_ShadowGaming_x_X 5 місяців тому +13

    Gotta love that nearly everyone on this list is a Leader of some of the most poweful/influential groups in all of Skyrim.

  • @jackytreehornsghost
    @jackytreehornsghost Місяць тому +5

    What about that guy who can only stare at you blankly and say "I work for Belethor"

  • @randallporter1404
    @randallporter1404 8 місяців тому +20

    11:22 You mean the White-Brown Concordant, BECAUSE I WIPED MY ASS WITH IT.

    • @zehkiel8018
      @zehkiel8018 6 місяців тому +4

      Congrats, you've handed the entire continent to the Thalmor.

    • @massimo4307
      @massimo4307 Місяць тому

      ​@@zehkiel8018Congrats, you've given away all your freedom to the Thalmor and do their bidding. The Stormcloaks are right doing what they do.

    • @bocalex23
      @bocalex23 7 днів тому

      @@zehkiel8018 there's a whole Hammerfell that would say otherwise. Also the Aldmeri Dominion started losing the moment the Forgotten Hero(TES: Legends) stole the Orb of Vaermina from Lord Naarifin, a daedra artifact that was used to spy on the empire's army throughout the war. Since Bethesda considers all their games to be canon, until TES 6, this is the only outcome for me: Stormcloaks win the Civil War, the Empire helps with the Thalmor in order to avoid extinction and try to subdue Skyrim, but they form a coalition with Hammerfell and it drags on until TES 6.

  • @ZanathKariashi
    @ZanathKariashi 8 місяців тому +8

    Sebi isn't in any danger, Maven just put him in timeout using the prison system. If she felt like it, he'd have gotten a medal and parade by order of the Jarl for murdering the guy.

  • @TurtleyTortoga
    @TurtleyTortoga 5 місяців тому +7

    Soooo… we not going to mention the bandits that put a blind guy on look out duty

  • @hugoboncar
    @hugoboncar 3 місяці тому +6

    I'm 🤏 close to making a Skyrim mod that replaces Delphine regular armour by a clown costume, and changing all of her dialogues to the Dragonborn yelling "SHUT UP DELPHINE" and her saying "yes, dragonborn"

  • @jeremykimanski9748
    @jeremykimanski9748 7 місяців тому +12

    Probably the thief who watches me slay a dragon in dragonbone armor and precedes to try and rob me 😂 in rags with a dagger

  • @cycloneriot
    @cycloneriot 6 місяців тому +40

    Why is Baalgruff even on this list

    • @VidralliaArchives
      @VidralliaArchives 5 місяців тому +20

      Seriously. He actually respects the dragonborn, which automatically puts him leagues above the intelligence of countless other characters that were absent from this list. If anything, put one of his bratty children on the list, but not Balgruuf.

    • @alexattfield3885
      @alexattfield3885 5 місяців тому +3

      Conpletly agree He blame Balgriff for issues in the game instead of his actual character

    • @kingrooper
      @kingrooper Місяць тому

      ​​@@VidralliaArchivesOnly one of his kid is bearable. Nobody gonna miss that little bitch and that Mephala kid. Plus the Ebony Blade is useless even at max forging, with the ally killing and all that. Thank god for Killable Children.

  • @edubelonia6683
    @edubelonia6683 8 годин тому +1

    Delphine after seeing a really big and scary dragon reviving another: It must be the altmers!

  • @claystedman6923
    @claystedman6923 8 місяців тому +27

    Fall Damage: Anything that benefits the Thalmor, is a bad thing in my book.
    Empire: Am I not a joke to you?

    • @zehkiel8018
      @zehkiel8018 6 місяців тому

      That's hardly fair, and sounds like Stormcloak talk. Would you rather bide your time and accept an uneasy peace with the Thalmor? Or condemn your entire nation to death because you're stupid and stubborn? It was a tactical play. And the Stormcloaks are too dumb to see it.

  • @rickhouse4407
    @rickhouse4407 8 місяців тому +25

    Disagree 100% about Balgruff, he doesn't have the money to strengthen
    epair Whiterun's defenses. He knew that WR would be ground 0 in the Skyrim civil war and tried to ready WR for it by delaying it. He knew Ulfric was likely to attack WR first which is why he allowed Talos worship in WR to keep the people's loyalty. He knew the Empire wouldn't attack WR first because Tullius had limited resources and didn't require supply over land because he controlled the large port of Solitude. Balgruff isn't timid, he's shrewd.

    • @Finckelstein
      @Finckelstein 6 місяців тому +7

      Absolutely. Not to mention that he didn't station troops in Riverwood specifically so he could keep his neutrality. His hold is caught between a rock and a hard place and he's desperately trying to find a balance where they don't get crushed.

  • @annmoore321
    @annmoore321 6 місяців тому +9

    I can’t decide if Delphine is the biggest idiot for wanting to murder one of the few beings who can genuinely help prevent the LITERAL END OF THE WORLD, or Esbern for following her lead.

  • @deviousxentity
    @deviousxentity 7 місяців тому +2

    Nazeem, Delphine, Chief Yamarz, Jarl Laila Law Giver, That one guy in Whiterun who always complains about the security, Bandits, Thieves and Assassoins

    • @vanyadolly
      @vanyadolly 6 місяців тому

      Laila is arguably one of the better Stormcloak Jarls. Skald and Korir are morons and the Silver Bloods are basically the mob.

  • @imbadatzombies7964
    @imbadatzombies7964 8 місяців тому +290

    Us, because we keep buying Skyrim.

    • @NoahVercetti
      @NoahVercetti 8 місяців тому +19

      How skyrim is greatest game

    • @MagnoPR333
      @MagnoPR333 8 місяців тому +8

      😂

    • @MoaRider
      @MoaRider 8 місяців тому +1

      @@NoahVercetti Good paypig. Todd Howard loves you.

    • @herored5484
      @herored5484 8 місяців тому +9

      Just bought Skyrim vr…. 😂

    • @brandonjames412
      @brandonjames412 8 місяців тому +17

      I just got the version that can be played on my coffeemaker. The graphics aren’t great and the controls are a little jank, I also keep burning my hand, but it was worth the $20.

  • @thatonguy2407
    @thatonguy2407 6 місяців тому +43

    Ulfric started the rebellion after he basically reconquered Markarth for the Empire after it was taken by the Forsworn himself, was imprisoned by the Thalmor as a result, and was tortured for years, missing his father's funeral as a result, only to come out and see the Empire effectively bending the knee to the Thalmor.
    From his perspective, the Empire betrayed him, and every single soldier who ever served them. He even says as much when speaking to Galmar the first time you enter his castle.
    He asks Galmar why he fights, to which Galmar replies by saying that he fights so Ulfric can rule. Ulfric replies, regardless of whether or not you can be seen, to a man who would already do anything for him, by saying that he fights for his men, his home, his people, and his religion.
    Ulfric truly does deeply care for Skyrim. He's an extremely powerful warrior, and a very competent general. If he had an advisor less idiotic than fucking GALMAR, he'd genuinely have been able to kick Tulius out of Skyrim without the Dragonborn.

    • @cornfield2120
      @cornfield2120 5 місяців тому

      He couldn’t. And if he could, Skyrim would fall to anarchy. Ulfric is a racist extremist who shortsightedly sees independence from the empire as the most important thing in the world, not defeating the Thalmor or momentarily stopping the war to help kill *the fucking world-eater*.
      An independent Skyrim could work. It would probably be better than an imperial Skyrim. But a Stormcloak Skyrim? Your just wishing for the mer to genocide everyone

    • @eoindenniston2611
      @eoindenniston2611 5 місяців тому

      Doubt that Galmar was just following ulfrics orders you can only justify Ulfric based on his goals on his pride and emotions which don't win wars. Barely gets anywhere til you get there and had a whole Aldmeri dominion to try fight with no help from the empire any longer. He won a battle but no where near the actual war.

    • @LoopyDreamz775
      @LoopyDreamz775 4 місяці тому +3

      Galmar isn’t the main reason why ulfric is a moron..Actually?
      You just explained the problem with ulfric,
      The issue with him is that he thinks with his emotions rather than logic, I understand from his prospective why he does what he does but is it the smartest move absolutely not?
      The empire on the other hand uses logic instead of emotions.
      Ulfric was to wrapped up with the empire he didn’t realize all he was doing was giving the thalmor the REAL enemy more of a advantage over the empire and eventually all of humanity.

    • @LoopyDreamz775
      @LoopyDreamz775 4 місяці тому +3

      Another reason why I dislike ulfric is that he’s too pridefully and stuck on views that doesn’t help him in the long run, for example, the stormcloaks would have stood a chance if they were a little more accepting of other races instead of having this “Skyrim only for the nords” attitude

    • @kingrooper
      @kingrooper Місяць тому

      Yeah, about that. He got captured in a few months after General Tullius came to Skyrim. Not so great of a leader after all. If it wasn't for the dragons he would've lost his head. Tullius was really smart to end Ulfric's life at that point because he knows Ulfric is just another clueless tool of the Thalmor.

  • @CowboyChuntis
    @CowboyChuntis 7 місяців тому +6

    Nah the college of winterhold shop guy selling you your elder scroll back

    • @NevinWarrior-es6ds
      @NevinWarrior-es6ds 2 місяці тому

      Tbh I'd probably not want to keep a possibly world destroying artifact in my possession either

  • @delta6704
    @delta6704 8 місяців тому +5

    0:50 nah. thats the game devs fault. he cares about his people's protection a lot.

  • @scarletkinkajou1
    @scarletkinkajou1 8 місяців тому +42

    I get the feeling it’s more a Mages Junior College

    • @octavianpopescu4776
      @octavianpopescu4776 8 місяців тому +16

      Mages Community College 😀

    • @ГалущакОлександр
      @ГалущакОлександр 8 місяців тому +6

      Mages Elementary School

    • @vanyadolly
      @vanyadolly 6 місяців тому +5

      I felt more like all the teachers were the type of academics who just want to focus on their own research and don't give a shit about teaching. It's very "try not to get yourselves killed or blow up the world, but I'd prefer that to you bothering me".

  • @ronnierayburn998
    @ronnierayburn998 8 місяців тому +10

    In my book, stupid means unintelligent, dimwitted, slow, etc. A person can do stupid things without being stupid. As much as I'd like to recognize Delphine as the stupidest person in the entire world, she doesn't strike me as particularly stupid. She's managed to survive all those years, and that takes some skill and intelligence. It's all the other traits she possesses that really makes me hate her. Characters who put their trust in the Daedra are definetly not the smartest people, but they are most often blinded by the Daedra, and are simply used as pawns by beings much more surerior than themselves. There are, however, one character in Skyrim, whom I consider to be a bit dumber than the average. Jarl Leila! She is easily manipulated by everyone around her, and let's Maven and the Thieves Guild do whatever they want.

    • @firenze6478
      @firenze6478 8 місяців тому +1

      Laila is both stupid, incompetent and corrupt.

  • @HootuThePaladin
    @HootuThePaladin 3 місяці тому +3

    the bandits that try to attack you after witnessing you kill a dragon

  • @hotashikayaba910
    @hotashikayaba910 7 місяців тому +2

    To be fair to Nazeem's wife she is unhappily married is implied to regularly cheat on him and is actively looking to divorce.

    • @PoseurGoth
      @PoseurGoth 6 місяців тому

      The priestess in the temple seems to be encouraging her to murder him. Not in direct language, but the implication is there.

  • @alexsanchez5681
    @alexsanchez5681 8 місяців тому +5

    Delphine is not only the worst character in Skyrim, she’s one of the worst characters in all of fiction. Her voice actor also gave the most bland and emotionless performance in the entire game. I will never forgive Bethesda for making her an essential NPC

    • @brandonjames412
      @brandonjames412 8 місяців тому

      Have you not yet discushed the ongoing hoshtilitish like the resht of the great warriorsh?
      Just saying, Delphine’s voice work is fine, in comparison.

    • @alexsanchez5681
      @alexsanchez5681 8 місяців тому +2

      @@brandonjames412 His accent is just bad. At least that guy has more affect when he speaks about certain things. Delphine speaks like an emotionless drone no matter what she says. Her performance is still worse and there’s no convincing me otherwise 😂

    • @brandonjames412
      @brandonjames412 8 місяців тому

      @@alexsanchez5681 I found her convincing, at times...she believed what she was saying; it's just everything Delphine said was profoundly stupid. I'm not going to work too hard to convince you; the character of Delphine sucks either way.

    • @kingrooper
      @kingrooper Місяць тому

      Her voice fits her perfectly for a delusional paranoid pompous idiot who thinks the Thalmor is capable of summoning Alduin the Eater of Worlds. More reason to despise her.

  • @GhostCryProductions
    @GhostCryProductions 8 місяців тому +29

    A fact to consider for Ulfirc is the dossier the Thalmor has on him. He was convinced under interrogation that information coerced from him led to the Empire losing the capital, only to be allowed to escape. While not working with the Thalmor directly, the Thalmor have been secretly supporting his rebellion as a proxy war to more easily subjugate the Empire by only doing enough for the civil war to become stagnant. Ulfric, for his part, blames himself for losing the imperial capital, and has convinced himself that he alone can set right the wrongs of the past by becoming High King on an independent Skyrim. Does this make him even more idiotic? It certainly doesn’t help make Ulfric look better.

    • @raulcerna1093
      @raulcerna1093 8 місяців тому

      So he is idiotic and delusional.

    • @rh3309
      @rh3309 8 місяців тому +10

      Who cares skyrim belongs to the Nords. Good luck to the aldmeri dominion taking skyrim with a dragon born hanging around. It'll be Talos 2.0

    • @rodh1404
      @rodh1404 8 місяців тому +5

      @@rh3309 In my mind, Skyrim pretty much sets up the Dragonborn eventually becoming Emperor. One story of Talo's origin has Tiber Septim as a general under King Cuhlecain, only to succeed to the throne after King Cuhlecain's death. While it's not exactly the same, there seems to be parallels if the Dragonborn supports the Stormcloaks.

    • @frantisekvrana3902
      @frantisekvrana3902 7 місяців тому

      @@rh3309 How long is the Dragonborn going to hang around though? In most playthroughs, he is Man. And those only live up to about 100 years.
      Even if he survives for that long, he is going to eventually die of old age. He might have the soul of Dragon, but his body will fail unless other magic is involved.

    • @rh3309
      @rh3309 7 місяців тому +2

      @@frantisekvrana3902 We take the fight to them then

  • @dukeof2958
    @dukeof2958 5 місяців тому +3

    Honorable mention: the naked bandit who tries to rob you after you destroy the entite hagraven group that imprisoned him.

  • @angusking1593
    @angusking1593 8 місяців тому +20

    I'd have put Mogrul on the list, he really shouldn't have put a debt on the one who defeated Miraak. And claiming the guards will put a bounty on your head if you draw on him... Will a bounty on hour head help his grow back?

    • @martinquennery5336
      @martinquennery5336 8 місяців тому +1

      Giving 1000 septims to Mogrul or giving 1000 septims to the guards if we fail at sneak killing him ...
      Easy to find the best choice XD

    • @angusking1593
      @angusking1593 8 місяців тому +2

      @@martinquennery5336 Yeah, on top of that, sometimes the bounty for killing Mogrul is only 40 septims. Can be the same with Ondolemar.

  • @onthaloose7521
    @onthaloose7521 6 місяців тому +9

    Delphine for asking (or telling, more like) me to kill paarthurnaax. I turn on the blades every. Single. Time.

    • @bradencampbell464
      @bradencampbell464 6 місяців тому +5

      There is a mod that allows you, the dragonborn and therefore leader of the blades, to put your foot down and tell her you will not kill paarthunax, and she drops the matter. Should have been in the base game.

    • @kingrooper
      @kingrooper Місяць тому +1

      ​@@bradencampbell464And its voiced too, pretty awesome. Never gonna leave my mod list. No delusional Karen gonna tell me go and kill my old buddy Partysnacks.

    • @SkOGinger
      @SkOGinger 9 днів тому

      @@bradencampbell464I know I’m late but do you know the name of the mod / where it is?

    • @bradencampbell464
      @bradencampbell464 9 днів тому

      @@SkOGinger Unfortunately, I don't remember

  • @gloweye
    @gloweye 8 місяців тому +16

    While Rolf IS stupid (mostly about harassing someone who could probably get him unemployed and homeless), racism in Skyrim is must lower and tamer than in any previous TES game.

    • @mausolus8466
      @mausolus8466 7 місяців тому +5

      Say that to Empire-lovers, those guys would not pass any option to tarnish any faction wanting independence, even if said option is ultra-nit-picked or even fabricated.

    • @PoseurGoth
      @PoseurGoth 6 місяців тому +4

      Khajiit are banned from urban areas, and Argonians are banned from entering Windhelm proper. Morrowind had slavery, so it was definitely worse. Racism in Cyrrodill was present, but it was generally depicted as undesirable and not necessarily mainstream. There was the religious lady who made the city guides, and I think one of the Countesses was a psychopath (If I'm remembering correctly).

    • @zehkiel8018
      @zehkiel8018 6 місяців тому +1

      Not in Oblivion it wasn't. Morrowind, however

    • @kotovasiya-tv
      @kotovasiya-tv 6 місяців тому

      Nords have every right to be racist, how long this discussion is gonna last? It's their land! Everyone else came here of their own free will, so they have to respect whatever nords are doing.

    • @mausolus8466
      @mausolus8466 6 місяців тому

      @@zehkiel8018 You should visit Bruma and talk to local guards. Their opinion on Nords being pitiful backward primitives isn't exactly respectful.

  • @JustarLad
    @JustarLad 5 місяців тому +4

    Delphine is the type of person to complain about a teammate that is carrying the whole match.

  • @thedon1975
    @thedon1975 8 місяців тому +6

    Can’t stop binging your content bro, top notch thanks for keeping them coming 💯

  • @FrancisFjordCupola
    @FrancisFjordCupola 8 місяців тому +15

    If one should not attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence, Skyrim has little room for malice.

  • @noahgraff-uw8rs
    @noahgraff-uw8rs 4 місяці тому +6

    Actually, its anyone who chooses to take the Rueful Axe

    • @greggarnett173
      @greggarnett173 3 місяці тому

      i thought the mask was better i don’t remember honestly

  • @chrismcnulty4383
    @chrismcnulty4383 8 місяців тому +3

    The courier is on my list as number 1 numpty.. interrupts the one person who can take out dragons and let's him die over 100 gold 😅

  • @savannarudolph9956
    @savannarudolph9956 7 місяців тому +4

    I don’t particularly like Delphine for everything that’s already been covered, but I can at least see some of her potential reasonings no matter if I don’t agree with them.
    Astrid literally thought the father of someone they killed was going to leave them be….seriously? She brought that fate upon herself and I think that’s what makes her the stupidest.

  • @rasdan172
    @rasdan172 3 місяці тому +4

    I dont want to defend Nazeem here, but when you say he isnt seen in Dragonsreach, he is actually sitting in Dragonsreach. 2:18

  • @georgethebaum2855
    @georgethebaum2855 8 місяців тому +2

    Farengar who knows I’m a dragonslaying master of the thu’um but sends a few bandits after me for stealing a soul gem, having given them a note with his name on it.

  • @The-Blue-Knight
    @The-Blue-Knight 8 місяців тому +7

    I disagree with Balgruf

  • @totallylegit4092
    @totallylegit4092 3 місяці тому +2

    I still dont have the achievement for killing Parthernax. I can live without it.

  • @OgQwahnaarin
    @OgQwahnaarin 8 місяців тому +6

    The player for following the story😂

  • @specta4154
    @specta4154 2 місяці тому +2

    god i miss skyrim , one of the best mods i remember having is the one that bypasses the delphine order to kill parthurnax , the creator of that mod did a perfect job at portraying the authority of the dragonborn over his followers by using the thuum to make delphine shut the fuck up about killing parthurnax

  • @aaron75fy
    @aaron75fy 8 місяців тому +8

    down with Ulfric the killer of kings
    on the day of your death we will drink and we'll sing

  • @dmj271095
    @dmj271095 7 днів тому +1

    Nazeem doesn't even recognise the Thane of Whiterun

  • @BlackBirds93
    @BlackBirds93 8 місяців тому +3

    You just elevated my weekend!

  • @LabMatt
    @LabMatt 7 місяців тому

    It's me, for doing whatever I'm told and letting those incompetent leaders boss me around without question

  • @KBMaximus
    @KBMaximus 8 місяців тому +44

    The player character.

    • @shonenjump-lk3hl
      @shonenjump-lk3hl 8 місяців тому +2

      What would make you think that?

    • @xl54U1lx
      @xl54U1lx 8 місяців тому +6

      If you pick nord race well yeah probably, DNA dont lie.

    • @KBMaximus
      @KBMaximus 8 місяців тому +2

      @@shonenjump-lk3hl Oh, I dunno, free will?

    • @KBMaximus
      @KBMaximus 8 місяців тому

      @@xl54U1lx I never pick nord.

    • @MoaRider
      @MoaRider 8 місяців тому

      @@xl54U1lx Seething Imperial detected. Keep kissing piss elf boots, merchant.

  • @natefrm860
    @natefrm860 8 місяців тому +2

    I’ve seen nazeem inside dragons reach, he’s walked up there many times but he’s never really stayed there for long periods of time

  • @eugenie4075
    @eugenie4075 5 місяців тому +3

    Average Thalmor propaganda putting Ulfric at 1

    • @Alibium
      @Alibium 4 місяці тому +1

      This guy is very biased yeah and it is annoying as most of his rankings are usually so good but then his bias shows up and he puts a character low just cause of bias

    • @eugenie4075
      @eugenie4075 4 місяці тому

      @@Alibium exactly. He claims the Thalmor want Ulfric to win the war, but the Thalmor only want him to lock Skyrim in a long lasting war. Tying up imperial resources and thousands of soldiers, so they can do their shadow work more freely. Either side winning is bad for the Thalmor as both victors turn their attention directly to the Thalmor (and mending Skyrim) after the war. On top of that I’ve heard this guy call Ulfric racist several times when 1. He lets Dunmer live IN his city, and yeah the Grey Quarter isn’t in the best shape but he’s literally leading the civil war. 2. The argonians live by the docks both because that’s usually where they live and to stop Dunmer-Saxhleel conflicts from arising. 3. He lets any race join his side, and commends you throughout for being a different race but still fighting for Skyrim.
      This fellas bias is the only thing I don’t like about his videos. If you suck high elves for money just say that

  • @lordcirrhosisofliver
    @lordcirrhosisofliver 3 місяці тому +1

    Miraak: loses to a dragon priest, saved by a daedric prince
    miraak: time to betray a daedric prince

  • @cc_chris
    @cc_chris 8 місяців тому +5

    Love your Skyrim content, keep it up (also your occasional digs at Starfield made me laugh)

  • @capitalcoffee7514
    @capitalcoffee7514 8 днів тому +1

    I bet it's that one farmer NPC, who told me he's on his way to Windhelm to join up with the Stromcloaks. And then walked towards the gates of Solitude.

  • @HazardSJ
    @HazardSJ 8 місяців тому +3

    Mercer Frey and Thonar aren't really that dumb.
    Mercer had the guild under his thumb and Karliah constantly looking over her shoulder, he also correctly identified the Dragonborn as the only thorn in his side that he didn't account for. The fatal mistake he made was thinking Karliah's greed for his death would win over justice for Gaius, which was his one flaw: Greed. His greed eventually spelled his downfall and dying in his true heist is the icing on the cake. Also Nocturnal doesn't really care that much, she didn't even kill Dereloth for stealing the cowl and for a thief anonymity is actually a huge boon.
    Thonar is also smart for imprisoning Madanach, keeping an enemy leader in hand's reach of an execution, is a good deterrent against rogue threats like the Forsworn. Unlike other threats, Forsworn leadership can easily be replaced, yet Madanach's leadership is superb and it's shown abundantly clear Markarth is actually safer because the Forsworn have to tread carefully, or they lose a leader worth their salt. By having Madanach alive, they can push for negotiation or delays, whilst maintaining authority in The Reach. The big flaw comes from how they just shoved all the Forsworn together, allowing them to gather strength much more easily. Also, unlike Thonar, Madanach is more charismatic and down to earth when you deal with him, which makes it obvious that most non-forsworn locked up with him would most definitely support him.

    • @vanyadolly
      @vanyadolly 6 місяців тому

      Yeah I felt like Mercer was the only competent person in that guild, and the only one actually doing any thieving. I joined up to steal stuff, not be part of a religious cult.

  • @impofstpete727
    @impofstpete727 8 місяців тому +1

    When a mod is created to resolve how dumb of a situation the player is presented with because of a single character, that character will always be biggest idiot. Without question, Delphine.

  • @XperimentorEES
    @XperimentorEES 8 місяців тому +19

    I'd say the emperor for submitting to the thalmor in the first place. If it wasn't for him, his nation wouldn't be wasting countless lives on a civil war.

    • @ZeorikDragon
      @ZeorikDragon 8 місяців тому

      Riiight... instead of wasting EVERYONE's life by resisting, and getting most of cryodiil slaughtered. Politics are a bitch, and "resist to the last man" only sounds good in theory, not practice

    • @firenze6478
      @firenze6478 8 місяців тому +8

      @@ZeorikDragonhe threw all of the other nations under the bus to save cyrodil. The thalmor were in just as bad a position and are hated even in their own country. (They massacred many of their own kind to set up their regime.)

    • @RedCommunistDragon
      @RedCommunistDragon 8 місяців тому +10

      You do realize that if he had not submitted the Empire would have been completely destroyed and there’d be even more massacres across Tamriel. Sometimes you must lay low in order to survive.

    • @firenze6478
      @firenze6478 8 місяців тому

      @@RedCommunistDragon No, only cyrodil would have been taken. The main thalmor army was already defeated.
      Also what part of, let’s let our enemies have full control over our government to stir up strife snd weaken our infrastructure even further sounds like a good plan.
      Were the germans defeated by people surrendering to them?

    • @XperimentorEES
      @XperimentorEES 8 місяців тому +1

      @@RedCommunistDragon But the forsworn live there too, they could've allied with the empire to fight the thalmor, just like the kahjit and argonians.

  • @IzukuMidoriya-eq4ox
    @IzukuMidoriya-eq4ox 4 місяці тому +1

    I think general tullious should be on this list. He had ulfric in binds at the very beginning of the game, yet didnt order him to the block first, or secure him with anything more than a bit of rope and cloth over his mouth

    • @oblivion1924
      @oblivion1924 3 місяці тому

      The only thing that could have saved Ulfric was the reawakening of an ancient force powerful enough to destroy the entire town. How tf can you blame Tullious for that?

  • @osiris7127
    @osiris7127 6 місяців тому +3

    The 4 bandits that just saw the Dragonborn fight off an army of dragons with only his voice and think its time to rob him.

  • @TheRealAdaWong
    @TheRealAdaWong 7 місяців тому +2

    Mercer Frey robbed an organization full of thieves… not sure who’s more stupid, him or the guild?

  • @bacd-nn2lg
    @bacd-nn2lg 8 місяців тому +7

    I definitely would put Skyrim Guards on my list.

    • @MalachiBlue-yl7wt
      @MalachiBlue-yl7wt 8 місяців тому +1

      Guard: (gets shot in the head) what was that, probably just the wind

    • @discountplaguedoctor88
      @discountplaguedoctor88 8 місяців тому +1

      @@MalachiBlue-yl7wt That can happen with bandits as well.

  • @stijnjochems9528
    @stijnjochems9528 8 місяців тому +2

    This video hit the sweet spot between interesting and entertaining

  • @badluck9749
    @badluck9749 8 місяців тому +3

    It's us. We are the idiot.

  • @timmoporter3742
    @timmoporter3742 8 місяців тому +2

    The 3-girl gang: Myself (Female; Hali), Lydia, Serana. I married Camilla...Sven and the freak are still saying the other thinks they can still get her...do they not realise that she is already married (to me). I threw their letters in the fire, and never delivered them.

  • @Krooked16
    @Krooked16 7 місяців тому +5

    “Ur not gonna kill me” 🏃‍♂️💨
    “Halt. Archers”🗣️

  • @abnurtharn2927
    @abnurtharn2927 5 місяців тому +2

    Ah, old Nezeem, I soltrapped him and hid the soulgem in Dragonreach, so he can be there for an eternity. Sibbi Black-Briar I soultrapped and placed his soulgem beside Grelod The Kinds and Ancanos soulgems in the Soul Cairn. Savos is not only a incompetent idiot, he also got several of his friends killed in Labyrinthian.