About Tarof (Taarof), an Iranian tradition - Learn Persian (Farsi) with Chai and Conversation
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Learn more Persian for free at www.chaiandconv...
About the podcast:
Chai and Conversation is the only podcast available for learning purely conversational Persian.
About the video:
This is a short video describing the concept of Tarof, the Persian form of etiquette to people who may not be familiar with it.
As you can see in the video, it can be slightly extreme, and can sometimes get in the way of you getting what you want. But overall, it's like a dance, where all parties know what they should say in any given situation, and a way for people to skirt around topics, and not be completely direct with one another, to show respect and humility towards the other.
when youre tarofing your white friends with food and they actually say yes ._.
''Tarofing''? xD
Oh, yes, that's a word in my English vocabulary. It's like vodkating. lol
As if Persians weren't white, hehehe....
@@iberius9937 white largely refers to americans in the US
@@avim2578 To ignorant people it does, yes.
This is hilarious and had a good info!! And knowledgeable thank you🤩🤩This resembles the culture of India 🤩🤩
Excellent I love it seriously now I can learn persian with fun
You said it.
Persians Should Be So Proud Of Their Culture For So Many Reasons. This Is Just One Of Them. The Most Unique People & That, In All The Right Ways....So Lucky To Have Been Born In Your Country, As An Armenian, To Have Had The Exposure To Your Beautiful Culture..... Best Of All, That It Was During The Pahlavi Era, In The 70's. Thank You For Being The Best Host, For Giving Me The Best Childhood. Thank You For Reminding Armenians Of How They Used To Be......
Thats right your first
For the last scenario, Mat should have "taarofed" the tea to the guy next to him since it was the last cup left and 2 people were not served tea yet.
I see you have a JuJu in your picture (sitting on your pishi).
لیلا خانم ویدیو تو دیدم فارسی حرف میزدی کجا میتونم پیدا کنم انگلیسی زبان؟
تلگرام گروه هاش اکثرا هندی بودن.
میتونی کمکم کنی؟
خودت چی اگه مایلی بیا چت کنیم
Hahah, good one!
Ahahhaa!! Too funny and way too true
You’re beautiful!!
I think 'Mashadis" had a tradition of "Tareff" ad infinatum........
For all those Persians who are bashing this video in Farsi. It is not bad to teach others about our culture. I am fully supportive of this video and would like to thank the producers.
Tarof is like a bad engine that never starts with the first ignition. It wastes your time... and time is the most valuable thing for a nation. Those nations that waste too much time are the ones that are weak, poor and backwards...
@@taseronify Every nation wastes time one way or the other
It's just very visible and obvious in this example, I grant you that.
@@a.534 Nations who value time most are the ones that are sending rockets to Mars. The nations who waste time are still beheading each other just like the times in medieval age.
@@taseronify Would Iran be an Islamic country today if the CIA and MI5 didn't launch a coup on our only reformist social democrat in the 50's because of muh oil? Nice try though.
@@taseronify hahahaa godamn bro
Oh no! My boss is Persian and offers me food all the time. I've been saying thank you because in my culture it's rude to say no.
You're good, he might have not even doing Tarof, next time you can Tarof with him/her. Usually after Tafor one has to win, either the No wins or Yes, I've mostly lost when I say No, I end up saying fine.
You do realise most of us Persians give no shits about Tarof, just relax and enjoy yourself.
It's alright. It's rude to truly refuse in Iranian culture too. You're just supposed to accept it through the "fake refusal" of tarof before accepting it after a few turns. Third time is usually the charm. Plus your boss wouldnt expect tarof from someone outside the culture.
So is it in Iran
The two guys walking into the door was EPIC!!!
here in India, we have a similar concept to taurof called as "pehle aap"...which essentially means the same as "first you please"
rohit joshi beshak bhai sahab !
“Pehle aap” - The story of two nawabs who missed the train!
Tbf that concept exists in a lot of cultures, even western culture they offer women and sometimes men to go before them. There’s etiquette rules everywhere but in iran it’s very old school and sometimes over the top.
Let's consider that a gentleman letting a lady enter a room first. He never complains after she does enter because he honestly wants her to enter first. That is the key difference between kindness and tarof. Tarof is something different. It's just being dishonest to others. In the video they let him in but then they complained about him entering first. What they do is completely different than what they actually want. I think that is a serious `bug` in a culture that effects it's development. Every action takes x3 more time that normal because people have to act in a `play` called `tarof`.
Half of the world is wasting our time specifying whether we always do something or will be doing it one time. You're lucky to have good tenses in your language. And yes, there are MULTIPLE reasons why we're not the manufacturing capitols of the world, but each of them means we're incapable of being the manufacturing capitols of the world.
this is what it looks like when they find out it's an opportunity to make fun of us
-->ua-cam.com/video/pOqBJaF9IN4/v-deo.html
Sad part is when you refuse the food politely and everyone ends up having the food except you 😂😂
Iranian culture is interesting , I have heard a little bit about Rumi and other saints 😊
Persian seems to be a very beautiful language 😊 💕
They missed a pretty big one in your etiquette whilst shopping. Taarof while paying for your goods is a well known one, the shopkeeper literally says ‘you don’t have to’ Once he’s quoted the price of the product and you start to get your money out 😂. As a person that has an Iranian cultural background but was born in the UK, I found this hilarious and asked my family members in Iran ‘what if I said oh thank you and walked out’ they said they would then ask you to pay without the politeness lol. It’s just being polite for the sake of it
Basically Pakistani culture is very similar to this, we also respect our elders like this and never let our guests to pay for their food when we take them out to a restaurant. In our culture it is very shameful for the guest paying for their own food unlike English and Western culture. I personally think it's not about Persian, Pakistani, Afghan, Arabic or Indian culture. It's a culture of the whole East.
arraignee90 In Europe noone really cares but if u go Pakistan u will find such thing very often.
Its same here in India.
I’m really sorry but There is nothing called Pakistani culture
isn t it called takalluf?
Taarof is a part of culture and should be taught. Taarof is not anything hypocritical but a method of showing respect. the third scenario is not settled very well, in fact when you do not want to drink tea, you should say 'na merci' ya 'na merci, kheili khordam', but if you like to drink it's enough to say 'merci'
Although I do not speak Farsi (yet), I learned a lot about the pleasantries & courtesies through being married to an Iranian woman and attending a predominantly Iranian Masjid. The manners and pleasantries absolutely amazed me. Now I live in a small town in upstate NY, where there are no Iranians, no fellow Muslims and I've noticed that I am the only person practicing Taruf in my community. Many times people look at me funny when I do so, but they seem to respect the good manners. Maybe it will begin rubbing off on them soon. LOL!
Although I'm not Muslim, Ghoorbonet.
Afarin
I'm surprised about the Muslim part as most Iranian people (at least the ones I know very well) are not Muslim. Muslim and Iranian are not the same thing as some people do NOT understand this.
As for knowing Farsi and the culture good for you!❤
Your name doesn't sound Muslim
Hello David , you can learn Farsi with me if you want , just check the channel 👌🏻
I heard from a punjabi professor who visited Iran that Persian people are so Humble and extremely polite!
Right
This video was insanely helpful when I was in Iran. I recommend it to all my friends going there. Kheili mam!
The best part of this is how hilarious the Iranian friends are -- "een NBA finals neest!" "zahreh mar bendazeemesh!" lol
Zahrehmar means snake's poison and it just means shut up. It's pronunciation is different to it's meaning.
Those doorway-people are hilarious."But I already rolled out the red carpet"
" I will just lay down my shirt right now so you can walk over it"
"Let's just go together"
Khodkushi for who will enter first!! XD.
I'm not even Persian and this is how I act anyway. How funny.
+Kaitlyn Harvey hi this is hadi
i am from iran .i want learn english if is posible i teach u farsi and u teach me english.it will be my pleasure if have contact with you.thank you .
+Hadi Rafie Hi, Hadi! I'm about to start learning Farsi, and I would love some tips! I would be glad to give you some tips for learning English in return :)
Hi I am Hashem and a native Persian speaker. I would like to perfect my English. if you want to learn Farsi, send me your Skype and we can exchange our languages.
In Italy
Scenario 1-2: is exactly the same...
Scenario 3: you caaaaaan't refuse anything!!!
Mediterranean tendencies and cultures have so much in common , i love people of the Mediterranean , southern europeans, balkans , persians , levantines ...etc.
peace bro.
My boyfriend is Italian-American and I'm Iranian-American and he had to tell me to stop refusing food from his family. Like, he got angry... 😂 I wasn't taught 'Tarof' by name, but that this was just how to be polite in someone else's home.
OMG - I love this. After learning about tarof on your early podcast I scoured the internet for more information, but couldn't find anything at the time. So glad you're helping the us learn more about Persian culture.
I like this Tarof thing in terms of principle. I love the way it emphasizes humility and grace. These are very good things. But the problem is, it can still backfire horribly, esp. if you don't know about Tarof and you end up making yourself look rude by accident. And even if you DO know about Tarof, if you try to adhere far too enthusiastically in order to not look rude, you could end up going on an empty stomach (or at least end up going without that delicious dessert you've had your eye on all evening) all for the sake of virtue signalling. You can be honest and open and still be gracious and grateful to your host. But depending entirely on lies (such as insisting that you really, really don't want dinner or dessert even though you really, really do) instead of discretion and self-restraint to avoid looking like an ass is a very bad thing. As that poor guy who was denied the very tea he wanted ended up learning. Ouch.
It's a great language. Could you give me a Farsi word that is equivalent to "Oy", an exclamation of dismay?
may anyone translate this?
تعارف(تارُف)برای احترام گذاشتن به مخاطب است گاهاً اینقدر طول می کشد اما معمولاًمخاطب برای احترام متقابل کمی بعد می پذیرد زور تر داخل شود.
پرداخت پول میز نزد ایرانیان نمادی از بخشندگی و مهمهن پذیری در ایرانی هاست.
تمام این ها اعلام آمادگی برای خدمتگذاری به دوستان است.
It has many mistake
تعارف فرهنگ اشتباهی نیس مطابق با فرهنگ ماست و ب معنی احترام هستش ولی بشرط اینکه شورش در نیاد
This is absolutely hilarious and accurate. I usually see it when we go to someone's house and everyone scrambles to try and clean up the table and wash the dishes so that the host doesn't have to.
Poor Matt! I've been in your shoes. Tarof kills me... but it's a small price to pay because along with that comes my beautiful Persian wife! Khoda hafez agha
I love this video. I laughed so much because I have seen this situation so many times. Just walking through the door or being offered food at a friends.
very similar to javanese culture in indonesia
While the Iranians are waiting at the door, discussing who should enter first, the western guy enters...
This explains it all why the western culture has developed faster compared to Iran.
Ha ha ha :) Im Iranian . It's Reall :)
I use to resent Tarof, but not I miss it...it's such a loving tradition! You feel appreciated...
This is of course, exagerated. And while it might not be as prevalent today in, say, American culture, the same principle of over politeness should be familiar with those who know English. It is always polite to let others in the door before you, or say "No, after you." And of course, denying offered food and saying, "Oh no thank you." while you really do want some is customary. Or at least, as far as I can tell, it is in South Africa and Britain. Most likely they'll insist a second time and that time you act humble and accept their offering. Most cultures have a politeness system, which may or may not be degrading with modernisation.
Farsi the most beautiful language of the Orient. Khoda Hafez
So funny!
The second-take situational videos are so funny and well-done, I was laughing out loud! Thanks and greetings from Holland!
It's very similar to the concept of 面子 miàn zi or 'face' in Chinese, particularly the bit about paying for the bill.
Merci.....Ghorbone shoma beram. Dokhtare Leyla lotfan .....more videos like this
In the American south we do the exact same thing haha. Such a pleasure to see how cultures that are supposed to be foreign to one another are actually so similar.
this was great. motchakeram. Matt is very cute.
we can all agree that Iranians live a funny life
We the Chinese act in the same way, we share a lot in common
I love this! I went to a Nowruz festival and they did a comedy sketch about Tarof and going back and forth over who was going to pay the check. It was hilarious :)
OMG i just about lost it 😂😂😂 . But i tell you what, as i followed along ( physically ) through the laughter i found myself acquiring and retaining. It's very likely that i will remember what I've acquired. 😊
این فیلم خیلی برام جذاب و آموزنده بود
من را یاد زن عموم تو ایران می انداذه که همیشه بی اندازه تعارف میکنه و من هم راحت نبودم بنا براین کم میرفتم خانه ایشون
تعارف بی اندازه خوب نیست
Whahaha laughed my ass of at the first example of taarof :D !!!
Lot of greetings from Switzerland. I just started to learn farsi .
This of course an exaggeration so that people understand what taarof is. But two scenarios were taarof is still very alive and relevant even today in the Persian culture is when going through a door or picking up a bill!
Can someone help me with the pronunciation of vav (و)? It is really confusing to me. I don't know when it is prounounced as /w/ or when pronounced as /v/. Thanks!
***** Thank you for your reply. So it has three pronounciations? /a/ , /u:/ , /v/ right? Persian is really strange sometimes!
***** Love you! Thanks a lot.
I love it !!! Besides teaching Persian language you also get a glimpse into the culture.😃😃😃
One should know that Taarof, which means acquaintance, in addition to being often exaggerated, when explained to foreigners, also belongs almost exclusively to young children and families with children. But Iranians are not just children and families of children and this is quite often overlooked.
Why on earth are you promoting/presenting this wrong wrong habit/norm?? Nothing to be proud of. and I was born in IR.
Actually, this way of hospitality is the literal same all over the world: India, Iran, Italy, China, Indonesia, Nigeria, Algeria, Russia, Columbia - Just the protestants with their Calvinism had to flip the goddam table 口u口
ps those 2 Persians dudes are epic 🔥
the other scenario is this: for example someone has bought something new, like jewellery, like clothes or anything. he/she may say 'varesh dar ' [have it], here in fact, he is using a Taarof technique to show respect. Here you should respond to his conversation using 'na merci, mobarak bashe' [no thanks, I hope it is full of good things for you'. This is again a convention through which a conversation continues. compare this to the daily English convention: the answer to 'how are you?' that you answer 'fine' although you are 'ill'. Or saying 'nice to meet you.'
this is a convention because Persian language is like a new game, in order to play in this field you have to learn he rules first.
Why complicated life when we can make it easy? Life is already too complicated and very hard for everyone, simplify everything specifically in relationship, otherwise, it’s going to give us a big headache!
If you want something tell it, if you don’t want tell it, politely, firmly, be assertive. Stop torturing yourself for the sake of a culture that doesn’t work in our century, it worked before, no longer now, it’s endless suffering to follow the things don’t work anymore.
I’m Persian why am I here
من عاشق این ویدئو
من عاشق این پادکست
من عاشق فارسی
ا متشکرم
GASP!
They're serving tea in opaque mugs! I thought this was a no-no! xDD
Kidding, of course! Thank you for the video!
Well Hello from Turkey, we also have that kind of behaviour in Turkey, but not soooo much..
Like if i visit a friend (lets say not close) and he offers a drink, I say "ah no thanks" then he insists and then i say yes.. that happens usually
but REally guys, I just learnt that, and even cab drivers says no no no when you want to pay the fare?
In Slovenia we do something similar to tarof as shown in 2nd and 3rd case in the video. I never liked it as it is obviously insincere but still it seems it's ancient tradition.
just remember tarof omad nay omad doreh
this is good information for when I finally some day get to go to iran and will want to vacuum all food offered to me into my mouth endlessly. Ill just be quietly sweating/crying looking at it going " na merci" praying they know i actually would very much like some XD
In the UK I think its actually a bit rude to insist on paying for everyone, its like you're trying to be the star or dominate everyone by showing you have the biggest wallet. But these are just cultural norms and individuals relate to each other in different ways.
I personally gave up on fighting over the check. If they are insisting too much and trying to make a scene, I just gave up immediately and say "mersi". At times, I simply give my card to the waiter way in advance without anyone knowing and I only have to sign the receipt at the end.
This is so weird, I always thought that if you were being offered some food or something it would be rude to say no...
Which way is the right way? In a modern Iran, or persian family?
I know right lol I just take it and thank them Nd compliment the food haha
What she says here is considered very tradifional. It's not like thaat anymore so help yourself :)
It is actually, and people are forgetting about it. You know there was somedays reason behind tarof. As Iran was in multiple wars or hard ships,people tried to help each other and show their consideration by paying for someone, avoiding to eat much as a guest or so on. But nowadays it's meaningless and being somehow annoying
The part of the fighting over the bill is just as bad in Asia. Sometimes one party will sneak off to pay the bill before the check arrives only to find out the person who booked the table already paid in advance. As an American married to a Taiwanese it's hilarious and all in good fun just as in the Persian version.
It's not only in Iran culture. But in Pakistani , Afghanistan and Most Muslim countries we do not let other pay the bill. We prefer or everyone else on the table wants to pay the bill. Meaning Muslims are very generous people
I really appreciate this video! It's interesting to me see how in persian culture people really care with social codes and behaviour. Here in Brazil, believe me: it's a total mess! Thanks for sharing this video.
Hehe No. 2 in Turkey is called a "Türk kavgası," a "Turk fight." :)
Kurban olayım size!
Amazing video! Helped my college student who is Iranian but doesn’t speak much in a comic college presentation
Charming and helpful. Thanks, guys!
That's exactly how Indian culture is too ! Full of respect. Quite similar I must say.
Khalid Alakoozi Actually it is just not about the culture of Iran,Pakistan or India actually its about the culture of east.
I fail to see it as respect, since great deal of it is make belief and what is worse, everyone knows that it is fake.
@Leyla Shams
Please Correct the Tittle!
In the English Language It is 'Persian' NOT 'Farsi'
'Farsi', 'Dari', 'Tajik' = Persian Language
Thanks!
Lol that was hilarious!! I'm Persian so that's why and I always see this happen at parties I go to. My mom is always "taroffing" :)
If you hear a few people fighting at your front door, don't worry about anything. There must be few Iranian taroofing unnecessarily
Of course it's very much exaggerated here,it's true that Taarof is very common & actually a part of conversations in Iranian customs but it usually only takes much less time in most occasions For example for passing through a door it would only take about 4 seconds tops or for accepting fruits and such at a party ,about 2 seconds somethings would take longer though,like paying for the cheque
Although it made me laugh, I don't think these are the things we should teach our non-iranian friends and expect them to act like this in front of their Iranian friends. Instead we should learn to be more relaxed about it ourselves and learn from them...of course we can warn our non-iranian friends if they are about to meet our parents or grand parents who may be traditional, just so that they know the reason behind something they do or say, but I would never teach them to say no to tea! :)
What about tarofing between a man and woman of equal age and status (not dating)? Does it work the same way? And how would it be traditionally on a romantic date?
The look on Mat's face at 5:40 - 5:43 (while hilarious) delivers the concept of Ta'arof very well! Usually you insist on doing something which you will regret later!
She's presenting it proudly because it's a complex dance of social graces that those in the culture understand. It only looks like "a horrible pretentious social norm" to unsophisticated, primitive, xenophobes.
The Fact that Matt "ta'rof"ed and was left without a cup of tea should have prompted the next lesson: "Ta'rof, oomad nayoomad daareh", which means sometimes the ta'rof takes and sometimes it doesn't.
Me getting embarrassed every time the bill comes at a restaurant
hahhaha...guys i dont think i have ever commented on any utube video before!...but i just loved ur vid so much that i had to comment!!!...props to you guys!...it was amazing!...hella funny and educational at a same time...a rare gem!...keep up a good work!...Dametoon garm!!
whats " I will just lay down my shirt right now so you can walk over it" in farsi? that is a fixed expression?
This is probably the best lesson of both Farsi and Iranian culture I have come across! Please continue to make these types of videos. I am a Filipino American & I have just started dating an Iranian girl. Her English is not so good & I have just begun to learn Farsi. Thank you for this video.
"Don't put it up in the air, this isn't NBA finals" lmao
Relly funny video!!!
I love the taarof!! It was amazing in Iran. But some times you don't understand how to do.
The only persons which whom you should not do taarof is taxi driver.
Fared Shafinury- look him up, he has several UA-cam videos as well!
Wow
I love these videos! It is a wonderful way to learn. The doorway scene made me laugh out loud! Do you have a video in which you introduce your Persian friends by their names? Good looking bunch you all are! I am off to dinner at a Persian family's house for the first time tonight! I hope I perform taarof properly!
2:43 Omg!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂 That was so much fun!!!!!
Loved it!
😂😂😂😂😂
95% of Iranian/Persian culture is awsome, but Tarof is one of those things that gets on my nerves.
OMG, Persians are like Filipinos! LOL