Because narc has to project on to someone! As long as they have supply somewhere, however small someone can be disposed of. Narc can pull off a good reputation in their community so they don't need a reliable source. If your someone who's too close to narc, you'll be the one who suffers! And you'll suffer in a horrendous way. And they're kind of protected in the community by they're false self, and noone would accept that narc could be so nasty!
When my husband discarded me, we kind of had a talk. I say kind of talked because even then as he had crushed me one final time, he still wouldn't discuss anything with me. I told him I noticed three things about him while we were in proximity -- he is selfish, he is vain, and he is a coward. I didn't know he was a narc when I told him that. Those are narc traits. At least during those years of my abuse and living in the fog I was able to recognize that about him. The cowardice was on another level. For a 'man' like my ex to put off such a cocky, confident, masculine vibe to others, I know the truth about him. He's a squeaky little mouse underneath that mask. He'll run at the first sign of discomfort. I used to trust him. I used to think he'd take a bullet for me because I knew I'd take one for him. Lol nope. He'd probably use me as a shield. I know that now. Hard to come to terms with sometimes. Thanks, Ben.
Feel every one of your words. My Ex would nt discuss anything either. Was like flogging a dead horse trying to rationalise situations, explain right from wrong. X
I can very much relate 😔. I gave my husband 22 years and throughout I realised that I still don’t t know him. His complete lack of empathy towards our children is devastating and he’s a coward through and through. He’s in an emotional affair and still refuses to admit it, I had months of gaslighting and emotional manipulation before the discard. It’s been 12 weeks now and I’ve still had no closure. They are also tragically delusional, he left because I gave an ultimatum, me or her, but he refused to discuss this after he left. I’m now being ignored, as are my children. I do hope that you and I can find peace and that we are able to move forward ❤️❤️
They speak with an Arrogant voice and try to triangulation. Tell half truths, bully with Arrogant. They tell me what I feel and think.....and want to argue with me as if I am wrong for the decision they made for me. I got the house after I filed for divorce. Covert Ex said She wants the million dollar house. She wants to be the princess. We did not have a million dollar home. I kept the house so our daughter could stay at the high school. She was in band and her life mattered to me. They set up an insane argument for the target. They enjoy creating drama and say the target makes the drama. It's like being around evil toddlers. Spinning webs like spiders. Avoid them like they are a plague.
She chose me because I am laid back, kind, easy to make friends. She chose me for my compassion, and empathy. Most importantly she saw my permeable, malleable boundaries. By the time I fortified them she was well within in her narcissistic right to be enraged. I had allowed her to bend and break so many of them so long how dare I start enforcing them. That is the one thing I struggle with the most, disappointment with myself. But I am practicing grace and all survivors should
When you discard them, they can’t deal with the rejection and will try anything in their power to try gain control again, gaslighting to peers and trolling in fake accounts. Stay away from these crazy people they are not well
@@harmonyvaneaton4101 it’s a mental illness, RUN & never go back. Most of them will be unwilling to get help and or ever change their behaviors. Mine got his behavior from his father. I get it now. He was always so quiet during the holidays or not there, but his wife always made excuses.🙄
@@lalalamomomo zero Point lying. If you only knew how they treated you then you know it’s not normal. Sexually. I blamed it on his depression and why we did what we did. WRONG.😑😑😑😑
It’s difficult to deal with losing another “family”. I never got to be truly independent from a young age. I was raised to be codependent. I don’t know what it’s like to be super independent. But my narcissistic adopted family has practically trapped and abandoned me within the relationship. I have no choice but to start freeing myself. I have no relationship with this family and i never did. They are bullies absolutely. I feel as if i lost a whole reality. It feels very isolating and lonely. It feels like being in an empty dry desert and a party of people come along and form a fake relationship with you and then they start ignoring you for years on end until they just leave. But you are chained to the ground so now you gotta unchain yourself with the sticks and stones they broke your bones with. You gotta pick locks and untie yourself. This is what this feels like. And at the end, it’s only you. You have to start from scratch.
I spent a lot of years trying to figure out why something about our 13 year relationship feels so off, he never wanted to talk about anything no big discussions about anything important, he was closed off emotionally and couldn’t connect, after the porn use and gaming addiction and wanting to over work it all makes since now he couldn’t have the emotional connection or deep connection with me because he didn’t want to these videos have shed so much light on what’s I’ve been going through for years after years of feeling like I was only wanted or used for sex when it was convenient for him and having to deal with the sulking and tantrums and silent treatment which are hell by the way, I always just kept the peace and did what I know he expected I started therapy over a year ago and she informed me I very well may be dealing with a narcissist, whatever it’s called it’s like a child stuck in a man’s body it’s truly sad that there is so much help out there for these people but most of time can’t face the idea of changing
Wow bro. This is amazing and inspiring stuff. I really feel you night be able to have gotten a grip on this. I know it's an every day thing but you truly have our support all the way on combating this.
Bored or disappointed..... that hits.i understand the bored..... trying to wrap my mind around the disappointed. 🤔 Thx 4 this video. Another very informative video.
But they claim to be the most honest person in the world and that they are soo “transparent” so there is nothing to hide and no one can have “dirt” on them. But will go and tell EVERYONE y’all’s business behind closed doors!!!!!!
ya , my dad was a bully he is a narc and now he tries to hoover me to get approval from me , but he's so onesided he gets draining after a bit, like a kid that always needs affirmation. I'm 3 years into my healing journey from cptsd by narc abuse in childhood i was the scapegoat, im an empath and am sort of a truth teller type person like i go to support groups for childhood trauma and i still see some narc people still trying to be controlling or have double standards or manipulate or be abusive, even in these support groups i call them out and what their doing now. In that regard this causes narc injury and in many cases they deflect blameshift, and try to come after me later. Ive learnt to go to support groups that are healthier and more free of drama because i want to stay focused on healing, and stay away from unnecesary drama triangles. Conflict and communication is healthy, but with an auntreated narcisist or one that isnt honest, they will not resolve or own up to what their doing but try to pull others in , deflect, and do whatever abusive tactic they have at hand. So i go to support groups that are organized , and when there is need to talk about issues or differences it happens with accountability and commitment, honesty , directness compromise assertivity. Not narcs deflecting or trying to do anything to stay in control and unacauntable. Thanks for vid
Can anyone help me to find an answer to this. I can’t find anything about what the narcissist was like as a child. My ex was the class clown and school bully as a young person. Are these common roles that the adult narcissist played as a child? He also used to tell me how he manipulated his dad when it came to fake crying and discipline. How he would bully his dog into submission so the dog would then act submissive to him. He was hyper sexual as a child. He was diagnosed adhd but that was back in the 70s. He was on Ritalin. I’m not sure if it helped him. I don’t know if his mom ever told me if it helped him or not. I was married to him for 25 years and the marriage was rough. I knew I was miserable I just didn’t know why. I left to figure things out and I quickly found narcissism. I was reading the last 25 years of my life. It was amazing how it fit perfectly. I’m just interest to know what narcissists were like as children. Thanks for any help!
Your right they are some of the Biggest Cowards and Lairs on the Planet. Sickening how their scary ass keep up so much shit & cant back up none of it. 🙄 Im glad Im a Empath. I dont do evil to ppl for no reason and to simply laugh at their demise. They will be ignored from now on.
They're the most dangerous entities that exist! Because narc can fool a lot of people with they're false self, whilst slowly killing a person who is too close to them! Many killers locked up are covert narcs, with psychopathic tendencies!! Never stay with a covert narc!
My separated husband is a very dishonest person. He lied, cheated, used people, and treated his family and myself in such disgraceful ways! He has disrespected my parents, siblings, and his own biological children. He had wrapped up a few credit cards under my name and didn't pay it! You created faults accounts. He is a goddamn religious Christian who like porn! Unbelievable! Everything that was good around him he ripped it and destroyed it. Finally, I come to know the truth and I discard him after 15 years. Twelve years I wanted a divorce but the first thing he said was I will depleted all your funds by the time you finished. Came back after 9 months to try to work it out. Come, go, leave, abandon us and come back. I expected for everything to be normal. You can't tell me that this is not a demon possessed person. We are still trying to heal from this trauma.
"You don't listen to a word I say I'm just a piece of something you keep locked away Ya pull me out when you need a man But I want more than to kill your bugs and lift your bags Yeah, you keep makin', I keep takin' out your trash And it's gettin' really crowded up inside your ass" -Bumblefoot
@@RawMotivations Yes, my question is: You're aware now and doing therapy but have you actually changed, do you now care about becoming a kind person to your wife?
Good Article. People might wonder what is the point of all this preaching why are people always bothering us about the bible and what Jesus said. It is because 100,000 of thousands of people die everyday and most of them are probably not going to ever. Jesus said there is a narrow way and FEW people flnd it. When Jesus spoke to his people he said "little flock" because most people have not really taken the time to explore the bible to see what it takes for Jesus to take us into Heaven when we leave this earth. It is a very sad reality but Jesus is a fierce judge when we actually look at the bible. Like the bible says "Our God is a consuming fire". The bible says for everyone to work out their salvation and spend their time soujourning on earth in fear and trembling. The bible says be afflict and mourn let you laughing be turned into morning and your joy to heaviness. Those who laugh now will mourn later. Like John Macarthur a great preacher says God gave an impossible message to unremarkable people. It's like Jesus said I hate to hate my life, and give up all my desires to follow him or I will be punished for eternity? Thats pretty harsh. But it is because he is such a Holy God and no sin in life will go unpunished he pay for our sin but we have to received the gift of salvation to go to Heaven. How do we get this? That is a very complicated thing but the bible lays it out for us. And we can find the way to Jesus when he seek the truth and let the word cleanse our heart. Which is why Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life no one comes to the father but by me. I am the door and if anyone comes in any other way he is a thief and a robber. 0 11And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: 12That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness. In this verse the bible is speaking about those who received not the love of the truth. Those who wanted to live their own way. The bible always says the gospel this message is foolish to theose who are perishing. In the article below it talks about the importance of repentance. We must repent of sin and turn to God. We must repent from taking our own path and turn to God or our direction will not be good. Those who don't know Jesus will go to the same place as the worst of the worst. The father of Satanism on his dead bed was saying before he died what have I done what have I done something is very wrong something is very wrong. John Hagee speaks of visiting someone on his dead bed who said preacher PRAY PRAY PRAY I can feel the flames of hell PRAY as he died. This is a very serious thing. The alternative is eternal punishment in the lake of fire. Whaling and knashing of teeth. The Holy Ghost will be our prosecutor and render us guilty as charged. Because the intent of Jesus was for us to live a live in submission to him and his word. www.desiringgod.org/messages/unless-you-repent-you-will-all-likewise-perish
If narcs are so worried about reputation, why do they go out of their way to create a reputation as a lying, manipulative cheater?
Because narc has to project on to someone! As long as they have supply somewhere, however small someone can be disposed of. Narc can pull off a good reputation in their community so they don't need a reliable source. If your someone who's too close to narc, you'll be the one who suffers! And you'll suffer in a horrendous way. And they're kind of protected in the community by they're false self, and noone would accept that narc could be so nasty!
“Emotional primitive child,” hits the nail on the head!
When my husband discarded me, we kind of had a talk. I say kind of talked because even then as he had crushed me one final time, he still wouldn't discuss anything with me. I told him I noticed three things about him while we were in proximity -- he is selfish, he is vain, and he is a coward. I didn't know he was a narc when I told him that. Those are narc traits. At least during those years of my abuse and living in the fog I was able to recognize that about him.
The cowardice was on another level. For a 'man' like my ex to put off such a cocky, confident, masculine vibe to others, I know the truth about him. He's a squeaky little mouse underneath that mask. He'll run at the first sign of discomfort. I used to trust him. I used to think he'd take a bullet for me because I knew I'd take one for him.
Lol nope. He'd probably use me as a shield. I know that now. Hard to come to terms with sometimes.
Thanks, Ben.
Feel every one of your words. My Ex would nt discuss anything either. Was like flogging a dead horse trying to rationalise situations, explain right from wrong. X
I can very much relate 😔. I gave my husband 22 years and throughout I realised that I still don’t t know him. His complete lack of empathy towards our children is devastating and he’s a coward through and through. He’s in an emotional affair and still refuses to admit it, I had months of gaslighting and emotional manipulation before the discard. It’s been 12 weeks now and I’ve still had no closure.
They are also tragically delusional, he left because I gave an ultimatum, me or her, but he refused to discuss this after he left. I’m now being ignored, as are my children.
I do hope that you and I can find peace and that we are able to move forward ❤️❤️
They speak with an Arrogant voice and try to triangulation. Tell half truths, bully with Arrogant. They tell me what I feel and think.....and want to argue with me as if I am wrong for the decision they made for me. I got the house after I filed for divorce. Covert Ex said She wants the million dollar house. She wants to be the princess. We did not have a million dollar home. I kept the house so our daughter could stay at the high school. She was in band and her life mattered to me. They set up an insane argument for the target. They enjoy creating drama and say the target makes the drama. It's like being around evil toddlers. Spinning webs like spiders. Avoid them like they are a plague.
@@shamimtemour hopefully you get your life far away. There is no closure with narcissist. Focus on loving you self and love for your children.
@@shamimtemour me, 23 years, hoping to be out soon
She chose me because I am laid back, kind, easy to make friends. She chose me for my compassion, and empathy. Most importantly she saw my permeable, malleable boundaries. By the time I fortified them she was well within in her narcissistic right to be enraged. I had allowed her to bend and break so many of them so long how dare I start enforcing them. That is the one thing I struggle with the most, disappointment with myself. But I am practicing grace and all survivors should
💯💯
@Jimmy Stanbery bless up
I can totally relate. Mine could easily make friends, as do I, but then it wouldn't take long for the people to see the red flags.
@@monalabelle9873 💯💯
If you ignore them it hurts them equally facts 💯
Now that the fog is beginning to lift, I realize I've seen all 4 of these traits.
When you discard them, they can’t deal with the rejection and will try anything in their power to try gain control again, gaslighting to peers and trolling in fake accounts. Stay away from these crazy people they are not well
B4 I knew what this was I did call him a coward and I get it now becuz that’s exactly what ye is
Same. I had words for all the behaviors before I knew this was a thing.
@@harmonyvaneaton4101 it’s a mental illness, RUN & never go back. Most of them will be unwilling to get help and or ever change their behaviors. Mine got his behavior from his father. I get it now. He was always so quiet during the holidays or not there, but his wife always made excuses.🙄
I told him the same.
@@lalalamomomo zero
Point lying. If you only knew how they treated you then you know it’s not normal. Sexually. I blamed it on his depression and why we did what we did. WRONG.😑😑😑😑
And emotionally stunted.
This is extremely true, I have experienced all of the masks. Leaving is the only option. Therapy is dangerous.
Yeah because they stalk and violate their victims hippa rights lol 😂
It’s difficult to deal with losing another “family”. I never got to be truly independent from a young age. I was raised to be codependent. I don’t know what it’s like to be super independent. But my narcissistic adopted family has practically trapped and abandoned me within the relationship. I have no choice but to start freeing myself. I have no relationship with this family and i never did. They are bullies absolutely. I feel as if i lost a whole reality. It feels very isolating and lonely.
It feels like being in an empty dry desert and a party of people come along and form a fake relationship with you and then they start ignoring you for years on end until they just leave. But you are chained to the ground so now you gotta unchain yourself with the sticks and stones they broke your bones with. You gotta pick locks and untie yourself. This is what this feels like. And at the end, it’s only you. You have to start from scratch.
I spent a lot of years trying to figure out why something about our 13 year relationship feels so off, he never wanted to talk about anything no big discussions about anything important, he was closed off emotionally and couldn’t connect, after the porn use and gaming addiction and wanting to over work it all makes since now he couldn’t have the emotional connection or deep connection with me because he didn’t want to these videos have shed so much light on what’s I’ve been going through for years after years of feeling like I was only wanted or used for sex when it was convenient for him and having to deal with the sulking and tantrums and silent treatment which are hell by the way, I always just kept the peace and did what I know he expected I started therapy over a year ago and she informed me I very well may be dealing with a narcissist, whatever it’s called it’s like a child stuck in a man’s body it’s truly sad that there is so much help out there for these people but most of time can’t face the idea of changing
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones
Proud of you for your therapy, Ben. And you’re right…you have to want to change.
“An emotionally primitive child.” Too many such types are going around doing their crimes.
Thank you, Ben. May Allah bless you.🥀
Follow this guy girl he did it .....congrats on your healing path 💯👍
Great video, thanks
Truth! Good job being honest! It’s honorable
I am so grateful for your support and encouragement, thank you from the bottom of my heart!
This is so perfectly perfect! Every single one of those words described my narcicisst.
Wow bro. This is amazing and inspiring stuff. I really feel you night be able to have gotten a grip on this. I know it's an every day thing but you truly have our support all the way on combating this.
I appreciate that
When someone can control your emotions they can control you.
Bored or disappointed..... that hits.i understand the bored..... trying to wrap my mind around the disappointed.
🤔
Thx 4 this video. Another very informative video.
This brutal honesty is so healing thank you for these
Thank you. I am glad to hear it.
Thank you for the clear explanations
But they claim to be the most honest person in the world and that they are soo “transparent” so there is nothing to hide and no one can have “dirt” on them. But will go and tell EVERYONE y’all’s business behind closed doors!!!!!!
Thanks so much for explaining this Ben GOD BLESS YOU
Yup Yup Yup Yup
ya , my dad was a bully he is a narc and now he tries to hoover me to get approval from me , but he's so onesided he gets draining after a bit, like a kid that always needs affirmation. I'm 3 years into my healing journey from cptsd by narc abuse in childhood i was the scapegoat, im an empath and am sort of a truth teller type person like i go to support groups for childhood trauma and i still see some narc people still trying to be controlling or have double standards or manipulate or be abusive, even in these support groups i call them out and what their doing now. In that regard this causes narc injury and in many cases they deflect blameshift, and try to come after me later. Ive learnt to go to support groups that are healthier and more free of drama because i want to stay focused on healing, and stay away from unnecesary drama triangles. Conflict and communication is healthy, but with an auntreated narcisist or one that isnt honest, they will not resolve or own up to what their doing but try to pull others in , deflect, and do whatever abusive tactic they have at hand. So i go to support groups that are organized , and when there is need to talk about issues or differences it happens with accountability and commitment, honesty , directness compromise assertivity. Not narcs deflecting or trying to do anything to stay in control and unacauntable. Thanks for vid
Thank you Ben as always great content.🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤
I appreciate that!
Always Ben, you always give us a great content and great advices🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤
Can anyone help me to find an answer to this. I can’t find anything about what the narcissist was like as a child. My ex was the class clown and school bully as a young person. Are these common roles that the adult narcissist played as a child? He also used to tell me how he manipulated his dad when it came to fake crying and discipline. How he would bully his dog into submission so the dog would then act submissive to him. He was hyper sexual as a child. He was diagnosed adhd but that was back in the 70s. He was on Ritalin. I’m not sure
if it helped him. I don’t know if his mom ever told me if it helped him or not. I was married to him for 25 years and the marriage was rough. I knew I was miserable I just didn’t know why. I left to figure things out and I quickly found narcissism. I was reading the last 25 years of my life. It was amazing how it fit perfectly. I’m just interest to know what narcissists were like as children. Thanks for any help!
I wonder what percentage of “victims” of assaults are narcissists who brought it on themselves.
Weakness and Fear
"Strike and run". Wow.
Your right they are some of the Biggest Cowards and Lairs on the Planet. Sickening how their scary ass keep up so much shit & cant back up none of it. 🙄 Im glad Im a Empath. I dont do evil to ppl for no reason and to simply laugh at their demise. They will be ignored from now on.
They're the most dangerous entities that exist! Because narc can fool a lot of people with they're false self, whilst slowly killing a person who is too close to them! Many killers locked up are covert narcs, with psychopathic tendencies!! Never stay with a covert narc!
This Here is very true
All of it
My separated husband is a very dishonest person. He lied, cheated, used people, and treated his family and myself in such disgraceful ways! He has disrespected my parents, siblings, and his own biological children. He had wrapped up a few credit cards under my name and didn't pay it! You created faults accounts. He is a goddamn religious Christian who like porn! Unbelievable! Everything that was good around him he ripped it and destroyed it. Finally, I come to know the truth and I discard him after 15 years. Twelve years I wanted a divorce but the first thing he said was I will depleted all your funds by the time you finished. Came back after 9 months to try to work it out. Come, go, leave, abandon us and come back. I expected for everything to be normal. You can't tell me that this is not a demon possessed person. We are still trying to heal from this trauma.
"You don't listen to a word I say
I'm just a piece of something you keep locked away
Ya pull me out when you need a man
But I want more than to kill your bugs and lift your bags
Yeah, you keep makin', I keep takin' out your trash
And it's gettin' really crowded up inside your ass"
-Bumblefoot
TRUE WORDS EVIL 😈 ENTITIES
He was a coward and afraid of my dad. Hmmmm, cause my dad saw the true him.
Yea ive learned they not goin to try bully everyone trust me
What is the book you are referencing?
Psychopath Free
Super nova empath i love me believe that😂
The mask was boring actually. I don’t think he knows how to live without it.
Yes: I call names as a self defense tactic.
He’s secretly a zesty, angry misogynist. He hated that I saw through his “great guy” act to the monster beneath.
If you’re self aware..are you even a narcissist. Narcissists are completely unaware or consciously non-self reflective.
A lot of narcissists are aware and they don’t care.
@@RawMotivations Yes, my question is: You're aware now and doing therapy but have you actually changed, do you now care about becoming a kind person to your wife?
@@ChristianOne I do care. That is why I am changing and growing.
I think he’s a con artist.
Musician…His song lyrics gave him away every time.
To try to figure this out is ridiculous, let go, let god..or go through a life of crazy!@@
my wife was every one of them. so sad
Nii Armah May God expose you I am delivered in Jesus name
Good Article. People might wonder what is the point of all this preaching why are people always bothering us about the bible and what Jesus said. It is because 100,000 of thousands of people die everyday and most of them are probably not going to ever. Jesus said there is a narrow way and FEW people flnd it. When Jesus spoke to his people he said "little flock" because most people have not really taken the time to explore the bible to see what it takes for Jesus to take us into Heaven when we leave this earth. It is a very sad reality but Jesus is a fierce judge when we actually look at the bible. Like the bible says "Our God is a consuming fire". The bible says for everyone to work out their salvation and spend their time soujourning on earth in fear and trembling. The bible says be afflict and mourn let you laughing be turned into morning and your joy to heaviness. Those who laugh now will mourn later. Like John Macarthur a great preacher says God gave an impossible message to unremarkable people. It's like Jesus said I hate to hate my life, and give up all my desires to follow him or I will be punished for eternity? Thats pretty harsh. But it is because he is such a Holy God and no sin in life will go unpunished he pay for our sin but we have to received the gift of salvation to go to Heaven. How do we get this? That is a very complicated thing but the bible lays it out for us. And we can find the way to Jesus when he seek the truth and let the word cleanse our heart. Which is why Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life no one comes to the father but by me. I am the door and if anyone comes in any other way he is a thief and a robber. 0 11And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: 12That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
In this verse the bible is speaking about those who received not the love of the truth. Those who wanted to live their own way. The bible always says the gospel this message is foolish to theose who are perishing. In the article below it talks about the importance of repentance. We must repent of sin and turn to God. We must repent from taking our own path and turn to God or our direction will not be good. Those who don't know Jesus will go to the same place as the worst of the worst. The father of Satanism on his dead bed was saying before he died what have I done what have I done something is very wrong something is very wrong. John Hagee speaks of visiting someone on his dead bed who said preacher PRAY PRAY PRAY I can feel the flames of hell PRAY as he died. This is a very serious thing. The alternative is eternal punishment in the lake of fire. Whaling and knashing of teeth. The Holy Ghost will be our prosecutor and render us guilty as charged. Because the intent of Jesus was for us to live a live in submission to him and his word.
www.desiringgod.org/messages/unless-you-repent-you-will-all-likewise-perish