how not to get out of a ticket

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  • Опубліковано 17 гру 2024

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  • @DonutOperator
    @DonutOperator  4 роки тому +448

    Use the code "donut" for %15 off and free shipping at Savior Equipment: bit.ly/3g6bBbS
    MY VLOG CHANNEL: ua-cam.com/channels/-3TwXj20oJQNQcRs-6BLlw.html
    MY GAMING CHANNEL: ua-cam.com/video/04-o_orP9Rc/v-deo.html

    • @Damnthatsdeep-ml8su
      @Damnthatsdeep-ml8su 4 роки тому +8

      First

    • @raetheray
      @raetheray 4 роки тому +2

      3rd

    • @monk3y362
      @monk3y362 4 роки тому +3

      Good videos

    • @raetheray
      @raetheray 4 роки тому

      @@TheGoodCrusader lol

    • @ohtehlolz
      @ohtehlolz 4 роки тому +2

      They should all hold two rifles because real men have at least 2 rifles, a shotgun and a handgun. Should we call it a handfun? Would that make Bloomberg and Killary go away?

  • @elderrusty541
    @elderrusty541 4 роки тому +4992

    “How many hungry kids could we feed with that money?!” - The millionaire in a mansion

    • @abbyvonzorro2782
      @abbyvonzorro2782 4 роки тому +158

      lol good point

    • @jackfam007
      @jackfam007 4 роки тому +53

      honestly

    • @abbyvonzorro2782
      @abbyvonzorro2782 4 роки тому +228

      @@jackfam007 Quite stuck-up if you ask me. Complaining about something being expensive and "imagine how many children you could feed" as she's sitting in her million-dollar estate.

    • @IanCaine4728
      @IanCaine4728 4 роки тому +192

      Celebrities love telling less well off people how to spend their money. Like when the organize fundraisers now to crowd source money.

    • @abbyvonzorro2782
      @abbyvonzorro2782 4 роки тому +35

      @@IanCaine4728 So true it hurts, and it's honestly a problem that needs to be fixed.

  • @harshseabee4210
    @harshseabee4210 4 роки тому +364

    I am an officer in Kansas and I pulled over a car that the driver said they were speeding to get to a booty call. I was lost for words, but this one was the best.

    • @jermainallen7176
      @jermainallen7176 4 роки тому +22

      Hope you did the right thing and let him off.

    • @coldwaterhunter8176
      @coldwaterhunter8176 4 роки тому +26

      I'll bet you were like "Tell ya what buddy, lets make a deal..."

    • @bjorntheviking6039
      @bjorntheviking6039 4 роки тому +9

      "My parents aren't home..."

    •  4 роки тому +6

      Indy3%er what’d you do

    • @Xtreme_Airgun_Slugs
      @Xtreme_Airgun_Slugs 4 роки тому +4

      @@coldwaterhunter8176 he said "I'm gonna do to you what I want you to do to her tonight, and tell her it's from me"

  • @jwheelgun
    @jwheelgun 4 роки тому +1999

    I never thought “yeah not pooping” would be such a solid comeback.

    • @willterrell3434
      @willterrell3434 4 роки тому +58

      Solid? Man that comeback is shit

    • @jmd489
      @jmd489 4 роки тому +18

      Insert shitty poop joke here

    • @ronly_driver
      @ronly_driver 4 роки тому +12

      @@Amlaeuxrai you may never understand how blessed you are.

    • @uum6
      @uum6 4 роки тому +14

      Bet she had to liquidate her assets to get outta that one.

    • @Thin03
      @Thin03 4 роки тому +3

      @@Amlaeuxrai that's about 20 miles less than from my current location to the capital of my STATE, I've made that drive before and dude, about 2 hours just for some taco hell? it's worth it man

  • @Chamdar17
    @Chamdar17 2 роки тому +135

    That exchange between the officer and the woman was hysterical!
    "I have to poop so bad!"
    "Where do you think I was going?!"
    🤣

    • @supermoss00
      @supermoss00 Рік тому +3

      The comment I was looking for 😂😂

  • @Ki11ersix
    @Ki11ersix 4 роки тому +3788

    this is a cliffhanger... did she poop in the car?!

    • @Booplesn00tgaming
      @Booplesn00tgaming 4 роки тому +279

      Asking the important questions.

    • @jackkraut7654
      @jackkraut7654 4 роки тому +94

      Damn K6 I didn’t expect to see you here lol

    • @kingkek3766
      @kingkek3766 4 роки тому +70

      something else is hanging and its not over a cliff

    • @KSPlaysthekilltracker
      @KSPlaysthekilltracker 4 роки тому +39

      @@Booplesn00tgaming we need a part 2 to this, i know for a fact a part 2 happened smh

    • @vKross
      @vKross 4 роки тому +6

      wtf are you doing here haha

  • @Hosz688
    @Hosz688 4 роки тому +806

    If I had only bought a $1 million house instead of a $2.5 million house, I could have donated that $1.5 million to the poor and hungry.

    • @SnprGhillieWarriors
      @SnprGhillieWarriors 4 роки тому +21

      Jesse Gutierrez doesnt make it his responsibility to

    • @jensjensen9035
      @jensjensen9035 4 роки тому +8

      Jesse Gutierrez the poor could supply him with a service he needs, to make some money

    • @cwheels01
      @cwheels01 4 роки тому +31

      @Nick Ahhh Please, you think the government should fill that role? Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

    • @zakofrx
      @zakofrx 4 роки тому +14

      Their was another bunch of celebs acting the same way not long ago and saying they would leave the US now becsue it's Trumps fault that police problems happened in Democrat cities etc....
      These two celebs who want to defund the police just upgraded from a 10 million dollars house to and nearly 20 million dollar house.
      Amazing how you don't care about the police or the poor decent people who need them when you have private guards...

    • @Muffledbox
      @Muffledbox 4 роки тому +1

      Nick Ahhh it’s hard for the government to care about 325 million people

  • @irkmcspamtroll2556
    @irkmcspamtroll2556 4 роки тому +1253

    How Florida man makes money:
    1. See Utility Pole
    2. ????
    3. Profit

    • @AB-zg5zl
      @AB-zg5zl 4 роки тому +4

      What is speed and booze, Alex???

    • @mikehunt2450
      @mikehunt2450 4 роки тому +7

      @@AB-zg5zl coke and alcohol

    • @dallas9795
      @dallas9795 4 роки тому +8

      Best south park ever

    • @AB-zg5zl
      @AB-zg5zl 4 роки тому

      @@mikehunt2450 psh man some guys can't handle their coke and booze... Amateurs

    • @mikehunt2450
      @mikehunt2450 4 роки тому +2

      @@AB-zg5zl you're not wrong I've heard of people who party like that pretty much every night and have never done anything that stupid.

  • @fatherpleasereturn2088
    @fatherpleasereturn2088 2 роки тому +49

    apparently when i was a toddler my mom tried to get out of a speeding ticket by saying i needed to go to the bathroom. and me, being a stellar child went “no i don’t!”

  • @jdizzforyou
    @jdizzforyou 4 роки тому +164

    "Can I poop in your car?"
    At least she asked permission. We need a follow up investigation.

    • @King1018-t9w
      @King1018-t9w 4 роки тому +9

      I'm from enid, I asked a buddy if she pooped in the he said she did not, but played that card for ever during booking. I retract my statement, my neighbors son is a supervisor and said she did shit her pants. But if she would have cooperated she would have gotten a ticket because they are not arresting for driving under suspension right now.

    •  4 роки тому +16

      cosmo dog they never let her use the toilet before they booked her? Police pootality, man.

    • @King1018-t9w
      @King1018-t9w 4 роки тому +3

      @ haha i laughed way to hard at that!

    • @superdave626dc47
      @superdave626dc47 4 роки тому +3

      Lmao...police pootality!!

    • @cheddar2648
      @cheddar2648 4 роки тому +1

      It's all fun and games until you know it's coming... and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

  • @emperorcharlemagne369
    @emperorcharlemagne369 4 роки тому +825

    Sadly, as a Florida man I can honestly say, and I cant say this honestly enough, I am genuinely offended that you think I cant get one of those poles onto a sorento.

    • @frogsreprettycool2146
      @frogsreprettycool2146 4 роки тому +52

      PROVE IT GARY

    • @asqfr
      @asqfr 3 роки тому +45

      Don't worry, I'll help him. There, now it's two florida men lifting the pole onto a sorento.

    • @MonarchManifest
      @MonarchManifest 3 роки тому +28

      @@asqfr make it three, don’t leave me out

    • @emperorcharlemagne369
      @emperorcharlemagne369 3 роки тому +30

      The bois got my back

    • @darylingoteborg3178
      @darylingoteborg3178 3 роки тому +11

      Plot twist: it’s a stripper pole.
      Specifically Karen’s and you’re taking it to the manager

  • @robertcurry389
    @robertcurry389 4 роки тому +171

    I remember the old days of Donut, when he was still a cop, I remember when you were still making videos with the thin blue line flag as your background. It’s been a fun ride Donut. Can’t wait for 2 mil bro, you’ve earned it you homeless chad.

    • @Xanderulz
      @Xanderulz 4 роки тому +2

      Holy crap he's almost at 2 mil! I swear the other day he was at 800k

    • @brianbevilacqua4984
      @brianbevilacqua4984 4 роки тому

      Police and the simps who seem to spend ALOT of time thinking about cops is a weird subculture. There is more to the world then shooting guns and arresting poor people. This is what happens when we have a war economy coupled with a police state.

    • @MagicPaw9000
      @MagicPaw9000 4 роки тому +4

      @@brianbevilacqua4984 what?

    • @johanmikkael6903
      @johanmikkael6903 4 роки тому +4

      @@brianbevilacqua4984 what

    • @johanmikkael6903
      @johanmikkael6903 4 роки тому +1

      @@brianbevilacqua4984 I can understand the war economy, subculture and police state part of your comments but simps? do you know what the definition of simps?

  • @pindadopje0162
    @pindadopje0162 Рік тому +27

    I love how your wife was hysterical laughing. And the lady in the video was hysterical the other way 😂

  • @michaelruzicka3276
    @michaelruzicka3276 4 роки тому +433

    OG donut fans when they see the utility pole: "I've seen that one before"

    • @danmah4333
      @danmah4333 4 роки тому +6

      That’s actually what I was thinking lol

    • @sneakymilkman4203
      @sneakymilkman4203 4 роки тому +4

      Funniest shit I’ve ever seen

    • @fulysemiauto
      @fulysemiauto 4 роки тому +4

      Shut up fortnite kid

    • @ohtug
      @ohtug 4 роки тому +12

      @Fuly Semi Auto, did anyone ask? No.
      You spelt FULLY wrong, you can’t talk mate.

    • @matmanyeet7821
      @matmanyeet7821 4 роки тому +2

      @@fulysemiauto its from a youtuber who had everyone put craig as their profile pic to spam the internet. TBH i haven't seen a craig for a while now. So to you, @Michael Ruzicka, I applaud your dedication to the cause.

  • @theshadowking402
    @theshadowking402 4 роки тому +754

    “I would always give crying women a ticket because I know you are full of shit”
    Probably my 3rd favorite quote

    • @heylazerlips4976
      @heylazerlips4976 3 роки тому +9

      The other 2?

    • @finck9226
      @finck9226 3 роки тому +6

      full of shit just like the pants of the meth head lady at the end.. "can i go poop in your car man?" lmao imma remember that one

    • @98f5
      @98f5 3 роки тому +2

      the crying woman in this video sure was (full of shit)

    • @MrBombastic799
      @MrBombastic799 3 роки тому +20

      But he lets people who need to poop get out of a ticket because... they are also full of shit?

    • @armahpruski5877
      @armahpruski5877 3 роки тому +20

      Is the first one "It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits."

  • @braedenhennessey7912
    @braedenhennessey7912 4 роки тому +304

    Donut: “I have 4 guns but nothing to carry then in. Oh wait there’s butcher
    Me: “donut don’t you dare”

    • @douchenozzlemcgee6111
      @douchenozzlemcgee6111 4 роки тому +21

      Homeless Man logic i guess

    • @ahmctech104
      @ahmctech104 4 роки тому +8

      BRCC: You’ve heard of Power Llama? Well get ready for this...

    • @TheCapnPorridge
      @TheCapnPorridge 4 роки тому +13

      *donut chases Butcher with duct tape, a dof vest, and a rifle*. Tactical Butcher

    • @prankmonkeyxs650
      @prankmonkeyxs650 4 роки тому +13

      Dog mounted turret

    • @cool2frog
      @cool2frog 4 роки тому

      I want to see that on lance corporal liru’s Channel

  • @Phucketmcsucket
    @Phucketmcsucket 3 роки тому +13

    6:40 Donut says that but having worked in loss prevention and having a brother who currently works in loss prevention, you'd be surprised how many shoplifters try to use "dude I'm about to shit myself" as a way to create an opportunity to escape. There's even some that literally shit or piss themselves to try to get away.

  • @yourock3794
    @yourock3794 4 роки тому +138

    That half-defeated "Get in the car!" at the end was priceless.

  • @adamschaeffer4057
    @adamschaeffer4057 4 роки тому +74

    Looks more like a 30' pole, and it could be aluminum, which would probably make it around 800 pounds and two guys leveraging the pole from one end or the other could manage that. Now that you mention they have a history of scrapping I'd wager that is definitely aluminum, as steel is only about $0.02 a pound which would make that pole only worth $90 even if it were steel and two and a half tons, but they probably know that aluminum is more like $0.55 a pound so that would be a nice score at around 800#.
    Of course being cranked up on scante would help

    • @michaelmccarthy4615
      @michaelmccarthy4615 4 роки тому +7

      Thats what I was thinking.
      Its aluminum for sure.
      If they had put some red flags on it, official looking decals on the SUV and wore orange vests..... the cop would help escort them.
      ;)

    • @matthewgibson991
      @matthewgibson991 4 роки тому +10

      My thoughts exactly, no way it weighs no 4k pounds , it'd collapse the roof on that kia lol

    • @Rwilk98
      @Rwilk98 4 роки тому +13

      You sound suspiciously like a guy who has sold street poles for crank

    • @MrJamright
      @MrJamright 4 роки тому +6

      So how much meth does one need to do to be able to judge the price of a utility pole at a glance?

    • @adamschaeffer4057
      @adamschaeffer4057 4 роки тому +1

      @@michaelmccarthy4615 That's not even a joke, lol. I've seen police do that when a rig goes through the city. People probably have better luck stealing a big cat bulldozer off a site than they do stealing a bottle of Colt45 from the 7-11

  • @zachswartz3555
    @zachswartz3555 4 роки тому +232

    "I have to poop" "crying" "its my birthday" she threw it all out there

    • @abetts1971s1
      @abetts1971s1 4 роки тому +29

      She tried everything but licking her lips and asking if there's anything she can do to get out of this

    • @DeandreSteven
      @DeandreSteven 4 роки тому +18

      Imagine only being allowed to poop on your birthday

    • @1nM3talW3Tru5t
      @1nM3talW3Tru5t 4 роки тому +1

      Lololooool

    • @spankyhappy2767
      @spankyhappy2767 4 роки тому +14

      Cop: “ well let’s hurry up and get you to jail so you can poop. Happy Birthday”.

    • @jimstepan3038
      @jimstepan3038 4 роки тому +4

      I wuz lookin' for her to throw down a monopoly "get outa' jail free" card !!

  • @DavidBubarYT
    @DavidBubarYT 3 роки тому +18

    "How many hungry children would the cost of this tank feed?!"
    *As she sits in a $2.5M house, mind you

  • @sihks1120
    @sihks1120 4 роки тому +70

    My uncle was a LAPD Homicide detective , first thing he told me was , " Never argue with a cop " and never give a cop reason to keep asking Questions! lol

    • @wchbto275
      @wchbto275 4 роки тому +5

      Good tip

    • @LordEptar
      @LordEptar 4 роки тому +7

      My advice is this: if you're good with the police, the police will be good with you. You work with them, they work with you.
      Probably says a lot about why I haven't gotten a ticket.

    • @knighthunter1791
      @knighthunter1791 4 роки тому +8

      @X-17 ꧁꧂ they'll shoot you first if you pull a fast one on them.

    • @nova8747
      @nova8747 4 роки тому +10

      @X-17 ꧁꧂ No, because argueing an incorrect point makes you look mildly braindead, and will probably make whoever you're argueing with dislike you to a degree, cop or not.

    • @gtodriver341
      @gtodriver341 4 роки тому

      You a comedian? Constructive criticism:
      Read the room.

  • @Thumpster59166
    @Thumpster59166 4 роки тому +390

    The Florida man story should've been an advertisement about the Kia Sorento's towing and weight capacity.

    • @d.johnson9957
      @d.johnson9957 4 роки тому +3

      🤣🤣😂😂

    • @Rekhan4242
      @Rekhan4242 4 роки тому +4

      Agreed, that is on the roof!

    • @bowlofsoup12
      @bowlofsoup12 4 роки тому +19

      g vnhtsm the roof usually cant even hold 50 pounds without denting let alone a fucking light pole. Kia surely missed a good add opportunity lol

    • @masonjohns208
      @masonjohns208 4 роки тому +17

      No way that pole weighed 4500lbs but still Impressive

    • @ogivecrush
      @ogivecrush 4 роки тому +17

      @@masonjohns208 I looked it up and a lot of light poles are made of aluminum. I'd be willing to bet that's what the deal was in this case......especially when you figure that a Kia Sorrento maxes out at about 4,100 lbs....I'm pretty sure that with 4,500 lbs on the roof there would have been some major roof squashing, plus the damn vehicle wouldn't just be tooling merrily down the road.

  • @Euragone68
    @Euragone68 4 роки тому +446

    The real question is "why does alyssa milano need a 8k sq ft home to live in?" Think of all the children she could feed if she moved into a Tiny Home!

    • @hemihead001
      @hemihead001 3 роки тому +21

      Somebody should have reminded her how many kids could've been fed with all the money wasted by 7 Police , a K9 , and a helicopter search .

    • @nshisishihdhsi3056
      @nshisishihdhsi3056 3 роки тому +3

      Also basements :)

    • @apbrit2009
      @apbrit2009 3 роки тому +14

      The housing situation in CA is atrocious, think of all the people who could live on that 8,000 sq ft property.

    • @JanoyCresvaZero
      @JanoyCresvaZero 3 роки тому +10

      God, can you believe how self centered Alyssa Milano is?!

    • @Rdwrer
      @Rdwrer 3 роки тому +2

      YESSS!!! How didn't we see this before now? Brilliant.

  • @ShadowAkatora
    @ShadowAkatora 3 роки тому +6

    "I didn't know!"
    "But It's my birthday!"
    "I have to poop!"
    Throw in some crying and we got ourselves a traffic stop Bingo right there.

  • @samnation44
    @samnation44 4 роки тому +543

    “How many children would that truck feed?”-Mrs millionaire

    • @jimjambananaslam3596
      @jimjambananaslam3596 4 роки тому +123

      Children don't even eat trucks

    • @xtingwisher
      @xtingwisher 4 роки тому +28

      @@jimjambananaslam3596 I literally laughed out loud this shit is gold.

    • @Zakilgore
      @Zakilgore 4 роки тому +4

      Jim Jam Banana Slam bruh 😂😂😂 I had a shitty day that made me laugh so thank you lol

    • @brianbevilacqua4984
      @brianbevilacqua4984 4 роки тому +3

      The defense department has admitted to losing TRILLIONS. You live in a war economy, a police state, and the largest most brutal empire that has ever existed and you are worried about an actress with some millions. Nice bubble you live in.

    • @cwheels01
      @cwheels01 4 роки тому +31

      @@brianbevilacqua4984 We don't live in China, last I checked. Could be wrong though.

  • @codyaimes4354
    @codyaimes4354 4 роки тому +63

    I missed a exam in college, I told the professor "I had explosive diarrhea, if I was lying don't you think that I would have come up with a better explanation." He said "yeah, I guess you're right" and let me take the exam.

    • @borkborkfoxxo279
      @borkborkfoxxo279 4 роки тому +4

      Plot twist: the class was 100 level philosophy

    • @TWRLS92
      @TWRLS92 4 роки тому +3

      Speech 100

    • @Ruler0fWorlds
      @Ruler0fWorlds 4 роки тому +1

      did you though

    • @codyaimes4354
      @codyaimes4354 4 роки тому +1

      Nope, I don't know why I missed the class, probably was hanging out with a girl or something.

    • @jilphones6662
      @jilphones6662 4 роки тому

      You're an exam.

  • @DillonD14
    @DillonD14 4 роки тому +71

    I honestly LOVE the “straight whacker” outro sound.

    • @afghzr7729
      @afghzr7729 4 роки тому +2

      What does that mean or where is it from? I never understood

    • @Michelle-by9fp
      @Michelle-by9fp 4 роки тому +11

      @@afghzr7729 Albuquerque teen who posed as Bernalillo County Sheriff's Deputy said it. He said in that video that was his new fav word and used it ever since lol.

    • @ZenNeonRazor
      @ZenNeonRazor 4 роки тому +4

      @@afghzr7729 Some guy said it in one of his older videos and ever since than he's been using it everywhere lmao

    • @catlover1986
      @catlover1986 4 роки тому +5

      He hurt my heart when he quit using that wonderful cat 🐈 and song as his outro.

    • @jimbrannlund4677
      @jimbrannlund4677 4 роки тому

      Me too! 😂
      It’s almost like I watch the videos to hear it. 😆

  • @thefunniestfarm4731
    @thefunniestfarm4731 3 роки тому +19

    This reminds me of when I was in the back of a patrol car at 13 going to a looney bin. I was fed beans almost every day at the foster home so my farts were deadly (initial cause of the call, led to me having to stand outside in 24f temps and raising a ruckus). I stunk the cop out so bad he pulled over on the highway and had me sit on the back bumper as he maced and aired out the car.
    It stunk so bad I didn't mind. Smelt like sulpher smoke from hell. Also couldn't stop laughing. Every couple minutes brrrRRRrr. Cop starts gagging with me.

    • @engihere5434
      @engihere5434 3 роки тому

      Amazing story

    • @thefunniestfarm4731
      @thefunniestfarm4731 3 роки тому +2

      ​@@engihere5434 I was kicked out of the house. Foster mom said I can come back in when I stopped farting. I tried playing n64 for a few minutes in the separate garage but was super cold, looked like I was smoking with each exhale.
      So I knocked at the back door to come in, and was asked if I stopped farting. I told them I had not stopped, so I had to remain outside. I tried standing in the sun to warm up, but that wasn't working.
      I proceeded to kick the back door to come in, and my foster mom yanked it open, rushed out and slammed the door. She grabbed my collar, twisted it and lifted me off the ground by my collar.
      I grabbed her wrist and threatened to kill her while blood flow was cut off to my brain, with a raised fist. She dropped me and ran back inside while I was regaining full consciousness, locking the door again.
      The previous story unfolded when the cop arrived within 10 minutes. She told the cop I said I was going to kill her for no reason. The cop was so stupid he believed her story. The 40 minute ride was the most fun I had in weeks.

  • @shabazz717
    @shabazz717 4 роки тому +94

    The funniest part of the video was when the cop responded with “where do you think I was going”. When the lady said she had to poop! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @TheOReport1994
      @TheOReport1994 3 роки тому +14

      Things I've learned from EMS/Firefighters/LOPs: They always get a call when headed to the can!

  • @nicl3265
    @nicl3265 4 роки тому +119

    My brother got pulled over on his bike and turned to the officer and said he had to poop and the officer followed him home making fun of him on his loud speaker it was great

    • @weebiscuit7337
      @weebiscuit7337 4 роки тому +4

      NIIICE!! 😂

    •  4 роки тому +8

      Did he make it tho

    • @emilyrl840
      @emilyrl840 4 роки тому

      No

    • @nicl3265
      @nicl3265 4 роки тому +19

      @ he did and only got a warning because he made the officer laugh

  • @DradonH
    @DradonH 4 роки тому +629

    "man hold son at gunpoint for drinking the last dr pepper."
    me drinking the last dr pepper while watching this video
    oh shit.

    • @TheCaptainbeefylog
      @TheCaptainbeefylog 4 роки тому +54

      Hears the front door open. "Boy I'm glad to be home from a hard days work!!! There better be a Dr Pepper left or Lord knows what I'll do!" Lol

    • @DradonH
      @DradonH 4 роки тому +13

      @@TheCaptainbeefylog NOO

    • @TheCaptainbeefylog
      @TheCaptainbeefylog 4 роки тому +4

      @@DradonH bahahahahahaah

    • @laurasanchez7105
      @laurasanchez7105 4 роки тому +4

      @@TheCaptainbeefylog Damn that gave me ptsd

    • @TylerDWard
      @TylerDWard 4 роки тому +3

      Broooooo...Theres a Shortage of Dr. Pepper!!! It's all gone like the Toilet Paper

  • @floridacooking7018
    @floridacooking7018 3 роки тому +117

    Karen: “how many kids starved to buy this tank”
    Me internally: SCHREECHING ITS NOT A TANK ITS A FUCKIN MRAP

    • @mikeexits
      @mikeexits 2 роки тому +2

      I hate to be that guy, but I think you meant "Me internally screeching: IT'S NOT A TANK IT'S A FUCKIN MRAP" Unless you were literally thinking "SCHREECHING" in your thought-words.

  • @YRNUT
    @YRNUT 4 роки тому +196

    Donut, I know this is an old post, but I work for the utility in Jacksonville, Florida and I remember when the pole was taken. It was right after a bad storm came through and a car lost control and took out the pole. It is actually a streetlight pole made of aluminum, weighs somewhere around 200 pounds. The guys were scrap collectors and were going to try to sell the aluminum for $$$. Great Channel, by the way! Keep up the good work!

    • @claytonkickflip7595
      @claytonkickflip7595 3 роки тому +5

      Damn how would you even scrap that though lol. Wouldn’t a place be liable for accepting stolen property? It’s not like they were gonna cut it up right? Some years ago I scrapped in Indianapolis and the places there would have to turn down man hole covers and stuff like that lol

    • @jamesdenike5883
      @jamesdenike5883 3 роки тому +2

      @@claytonkickflip7595
      I wonder if they cut it down if it would make a difference? I could be wrong.

    • @pop9095
      @pop9095 2 роки тому +2

      It seems to me that it would be structurally unsound at a mere 200 pounds.

    • @andog6092
      @andog6092 2 роки тому +6

      @@pop9095 they are made light because of hurricanes and how many times people knock them down

    • @timothydeluca1242
      @timothydeluca1242 2 роки тому +5

      4000 lb would crush the car roof. Thats not really a good investigation, with out considering the weight 🙄 lol wow cop logic fail. Stay on UA-cam.

  • @dannyzaro9658
    @dannyzaro9658 4 роки тому +600

    Did anyone else catch that after she said “I have to poop” that the officer replies “where do you think I was going”?

    • @josephbaillie1421
      @josephbaillie1421 4 роки тому +12

      What does he mean by that I don’t get it?

    • @conorstewart2214
      @conorstewart2214 4 роки тому +99

      @@josephbaillie1421 Im assuming that he was going to go to the toilet just before he caught her

    • @thomcad
      @thomcad 4 роки тому +113

      @@conorstewart2214 yep...I think he's irritated because he has a turtlehead poking out and she is dragging out the stop.

    • @giampaolomannucci8281
      @giampaolomannucci8281 4 роки тому +2

      @@thomcad wouldn't that be a turtle tail? :D

    • @thomcad
      @thomcad 4 роки тому +1

      @@giampaolomannucci8281 lol..your probably correct!

  • @nicholasf6047
    @nicholasf6047 4 роки тому +35

    I was with my dad when he pulled over a guy that was speeding and recklessly driving. The guy was jumping in his seat, then said he was about to shit himself. Then proceedes to have explosive diarrhea in his seat.
    My dad let him go

    • @danofthepeople4787
      @danofthepeople4787 4 роки тому +3

      James Sloan
      Straight crapper

    • @alexd4102
      @alexd4102 4 роки тому +6

      Shitting your pants in the car probably teaches you your lesson better than a ticket

  • @populasmario2009
    @populasmario2009 3 роки тому +7

    "Mam you are under arrest"
    "Holdup, let me take a shit first"
    6:01

  • @affaansyed2039
    @affaansyed2039 4 роки тому +24

    Thanks donut, now I'm gonna have an excuse for my 15 counts of manslaughter, "I had to poop"

    • @reaven8172
      @reaven8172 4 роки тому +4

      I say justified

    • @iamthecheese2737
      @iamthecheese2737 4 роки тому +3

      If they were in line in front of you to the handicap stall, I say you've got a good chance of beating the rap. As Larry the Cable Guy would say, "handicap stalls are the Cadillacs of poopin stalls".

  • @IratePuffin
    @IratePuffin 4 роки тому +18

    “I was on my way home to poop.”
    “Yeah, where do you think I was headed?”
    🤣

  • @marz11345
    @marz11345 4 роки тому +182

    Why is that beautiful women with a homeless man?!

    • @oz_jones
      @oz_jones 4 роки тому +45

      Because he has a huge... love for his son.

    • @drgibblesgaming7884
      @drgibblesgaming7884 4 роки тому +30

      Have you not seen that mustache?

    • @hiredgun3098
      @hiredgun3098 4 роки тому

      DrGibbles Gaming 🤪🤪🤪

    • @keeganbarry1058
      @keeganbarry1058 4 роки тому +13

      Dude you already know what it is. An ongoing and continuous hostage situation but he has connections at the PD and because of systematic racism and sexism he isn’t being charged. Also he can skate and that makes my vajajay wet even tho I’m a guy :)

  • @Jessie-ro1zd
    @Jessie-ro1zd 3 роки тому +3

    I'm really glad to see that you're incorporating commercials into the videos I was always bummed out that UA-cam demonetized your videos

  • @nadnerb_sr20
    @nadnerb_sr20 4 роки тому +129

    i feel like anyone who supports defunding the police should be forced to live in the ghetto, in Section 8 housing

    • @nadnerb_sr20
      @nadnerb_sr20 4 роки тому +34

      @St. Yeeter if it leads to them being a victim of gang violence, yes

    • @sethzelinsky9
      @sethzelinsky9 4 роки тому +6

      @@nadnerb_sr20 Make this man the president. He is the only one that can bring this shithole of a country back to life
      0

    • @punishedwhispers1218
      @punishedwhispers1218 4 роки тому +8

      Anyone who supports heavy gun control too

    • @Thatguy0096
      @Thatguy0096 4 роки тому +3

      And never be allowed to call for the police, ever again

  • @Autistic_Pixel
    @Autistic_Pixel 4 роки тому +78

    "What's this behind me?"
    *Dog walks by*
    Me: ....Rifle Dog? are we equiping multiple rifles to Butcher and making some mech dog of doom? Quick call Demolition and make it happen! The fate of the world rests on Butcher!

    • @pohjantuulet247
      @pohjantuulet247 4 роки тому

      Butcher is the next TF2 feature
      ua-cam.com/video/snIXUOS8BXU/v-deo.html

  • @ScaniaEtPalingenesis
    @ScaniaEtPalingenesis 4 роки тому +258

    Off topic, but I read the funniest headline in a Swedish newspaper today.
    “Police departments entrance blowed up by explosives. Journalist unable to interview police about the incident because the entrance is blown up.”
    It remains a mystery why a phone wasn’t an option.

    • @zachwatson2824
      @zachwatson2824 4 роки тому +13

      Can I please have a link to that I really want to read it

    • @CeeWorld69
      @CeeWorld69 3 роки тому

      @@zachwatson2824 there is no link, it’s made up lol

    • @ScaniaEtPalingenesis
      @ScaniaEtPalingenesis 3 роки тому +10

      @@CeeWorld69 Nope. Google “Helsingborgs dagblad polishusets entré har sprängts”

    • @Jackson04s
      @Jackson04s 3 роки тому +2

      I have an even better one. Google “jsjsofj dkdooxhh fnfiisne fjfifojc” it’s so funny

    • @ScaniaEtPalingenesis
      @ScaniaEtPalingenesis 3 роки тому +8

      @@Jackson04s you must be American.

  • @420sx3
    @420sx3 4 роки тому +4

    “look ma’am, you either have to poop, or it’s your birthday. It can’t be both.”

  • @Tankerbrain
    @Tankerbrain 4 роки тому +43

    I love how when he said "she stopped when they had their weapons drawn, noone bats a eye, but when it happens people shout "defund the police!" Or "police brutality!" Lmao

    • @brolohalflemming7042
      @brolohalflemming7042 4 роки тому +3

      Obvious felon is obvious. Normally if you're stopped at gunpoint, and asked if you still need to poop, then answer would be 'Nope, not any more'.

    • @Tankerbrain
      @Tankerbrain 4 роки тому

      @@brolohalflemming7042 cause u already went

    • @knighthunter1791
      @knighthunter1791 4 роки тому +1

      When you gotta poop but he got a gun so the poop gets pushed back to the large intestine.

  • @tomc7777
    @tomc7777 4 роки тому +772

    That’s an aluminum pole, not steel. That’s why they were scrapping it.

    • @mudknot9000
      @mudknot9000 4 роки тому +159

      I came here hoping to find someone else with common sense. The Kia would be a taco.

    • @thomashughes_teh
      @thomashughes_teh 4 роки тому +46

      My thought exactly. Also, Two guys only need to get one end of it up there and the other against a solid object then slowly use the car to drive it to balance. My city got smart and will not allow scrap dealers to purchase certain items unless the seller is a contractor licensed to remove such objects.

    • @nthgth
      @nthgth 4 роки тому +43

      Right? I'm thinking, 4500 lbs on that tiny footprint on the roof, and it's still in one piece?

    • @privateuser7
      @privateuser7 4 роки тому +16

      I used to be a heavy lifter for this guy who was constantly taking stuff to the scrap yard, and while I didn't ask questions (I would do anything for 10 bucks at this time, addiction) I knew that some of the stuff I was moving had to be city/state property. He must have had a deal with the scrap man because idk how else he would have accepted it. One time we had a bunch of those covers that go over the speed cameras, the ground-mounted ones.

    • @kf4293
      @kf4293 4 роки тому +17

      Yup yup. ~200 pounds of aluminum brings a fair price.

  • @joshraines7940
    @joshraines7940 4 роки тому +138

    They were qualifying for the Daytona 500, they got the pole position.

  • @Nebula-wu7qr
    @Nebula-wu7qr 3 роки тому +5

    I would just like to say that Donut's sponsor intros are fantastic and always make me laugh.

  • @KaeYoss
    @KaeYoss 4 роки тому +314

    "How many children could this tank feed?" Children can't eat tanks, miss!

    • @LegDayLas
      @LegDayLas 4 роки тому +29

      Bet her house could feed more children then a tank can.

    • @maximuscrashd1089
      @maximuscrashd1089 4 роки тому +13

      Tanks can't cook worth a damn either!

    • @johncopple6479
      @johncopple6479 4 роки тому +22

      Hey Alyssa $10,000 dollars out of your pocket would fund a all day BBQ with a good chef and good healthy food for at least 200 homeless or disadvantaged people who live within 30-45 minutes of your mansion. Which I am sure has a big beautiful wall and security features to keep you safe. Set it up and you could feed many people who need the help. I would work for free and help you accomplish this goal. 30 years restaurant experience. Thx . Hungry People Matter!

    • @aidang7182
      @aidang7182 4 роки тому

      @@johncopple6479 ?

    • @sir_chonky_seal2421
      @sir_chonky_seal2421 4 роки тому +1

      I guess it depends on how much food they put in it LoL

  • @mtbarkansas2102
    @mtbarkansas2102 4 роки тому +15

    Donut operator is one of the only two channels I will drop everything to watch immediately when I get notified.

    • @andrewaycock98
      @andrewaycock98 4 роки тому +2

      Whats the other

    • @jimmonybillybob4358
      @jimmonybillybob4358 4 роки тому

      Andrew Aycock for me it’s Donut Operator and Officer 401

    • @mtbarkansas2102
      @mtbarkansas2102 4 роки тому

      Andrew Aycock Berm Peak, it ain’t anything like donut operator though

  • @cjkellner
    @cjkellner 4 роки тому +195

    Alyssa Milano: "How many hungry hungry children would the cost of this tank feed?"
    Moundsville PD, literally in the tweet she was quoting: "and explain how the department get it for free"
    My moneys on zero.

    • @mikzpwnz_3199
      @mikzpwnz_3199 4 роки тому +12

      It probably cost something for the military when they bought it in the first place but then I thought these people wanted us to reuse old/surplus things that can't really be recycled because of their materials. I guess they only care for saving the planet when it's either their token actions doing it or shilling dumbass policies.

    • @josephburchanowski4636
      @josephburchanowski4636 4 роки тому +10

      ​@Jody Owen Do you care to elaborate what the hell you are saying?

    • @mikzpwnz_3199
      @mikzpwnz_3199 4 роки тому +8

      @Jody Owen for the first point first the article itself told us that the vehicle was given by the military. It is simple to assume it was surplus as if it was really needed, it wouldn't have been given away. A lot of the military gear is surplus as you want to replace stuff quickly if it breaks, blows up or you need more. Since the US military is not really escalating things over the world and troops are pulling out of places like Afghanistan, (or at least attempts for that are being made) that means a lot of gear and vehicles not getting used.
      for your second point the use of hardware design for military purposes that can have applications for issues in civilian applications is not inherently bad. I do believe there should be limited as there is the national guard for more escalated problems. The vehicle is essentially a blade in a Swiss army knife, one that ideally hardly used but useful regardless. That being said the vehicle in question looks like an MRAP this is an vehicle designed for transport in a hostile environment to withstand IED's and small arms fire (it's not an Abrams Main Battle Tank or even a Bradley) so if it can be used for bomb threats active shooters and riots. You may want the national guard for this but depending on the location, situation etc having a police station that is closer than the national guard having one would mean a faster response.
      As for the law being the problem 2 points
      1 the recent BLM riots disproves that, the peaceful protests show that you can get your point across without violence that actually hurts your progress.
      2 the monopoly of force should be in the hands of the government with the people holding them accountable. You do not want to live in a country that looks like GTA online after all. The CHAZ/CHOP is proof of this as 5 murders and multiple uncountable other crimes such as assaults, struggle snuggles and thefts went on with no way to bring the guilty parties to justice and the use of force is unaccounted for.

    • @mikzpwnz_3199
      @mikzpwnz_3199 4 роки тому +4

      @Jody Owen the question is then what happens if it's not actually your actions are causing the mass civil disobedience. and it is bad actors filtering it to smear and discredit you. You have the insurrection act after all that acknowledges this cans can happen.

    • @josephburchanowski4636
      @josephburchanowski4636 4 роки тому +13

      @Jody Owen What light tanks? I see just bullet resistant personal carriers. Which you know, in any situations where criminals can have long guns; it would be nice to get cops to the scene without being swiss cheese.
      Do you think active shooter situations never exist or something?

  • @highwayxj9397
    @highwayxj9397 3 роки тому +3

    I worked with a guy that was pulled over speeding right outside our work construction site. He used the excuse saying he had to poop real bad and he was racing to the porta potty and pointed to it. The cop said, “go ahead, I’ll wait for you to get back” still gave him the ticket

  • @treymag7472
    @treymag7472 4 роки тому +76

    If there’s a Florida man will, there’s a Florida man way

  • @Eskii_NZL
    @Eskii_NZL 4 роки тому +27

    I've legit used the "it sounds stupid but I need to take a poo" trick when I was caught riding 10km over speed limit, cop cracked up and sent me on my way telling me to slow down. I wasn't lying tho when I got pulled over I was nearly about to crap 🤣

    • @jakes.4147
      @jakes.4147 4 роки тому +2

      Eskii NZL Goddamn who tf gets pulled over for going 6 mph above the speed limit

  • @wakandaforever2401
    @wakandaforever2401 4 роки тому +185

    Isn't this Alyssa Milano chick the same one who whined about Joe Rogan having a podcast following that is like 200x the size of hers?

    • @LANCEtheBOIL
      @LANCEtheBOIL 4 роки тому +14

      Yeah but she said hers was 1/3 the size of Rogans, she is way off( in more ways than I can count)

    • @ranickhaan
      @ranickhaan 4 роки тому +19

      There isn’t much she DOESN’T whine about.

    • @jessetheunending9357
      @jessetheunending9357 4 роки тому +6

      Isn't she the same one who cried "me too"?

    • @dennisrideout5776
      @dennisrideout5776 4 роки тому

      shes pretty famous shes trash but dont act like u dont know her

    • @SilvaDreams
      @SilvaDreams 4 роки тому +2

      @@dennisrideout5776 I can't think of anything I've seen her in other then back in the 90's and the TV show where she was a witch along with her two other "sisters"

  • @SweetTooth8989
    @SweetTooth8989 3 роки тому +4

    When i saw her break down in tears, it tore up my heart. You could tell she was crying for real, poor her. ...I hope people sense the sarcasm.

  • @ScootALMS
    @ScootALMS 4 роки тому +13

    Just went out yesterday and bought my first hand gun. Springfield Wildcat so far been liking it and planning to start conceal to carry classes!

    • @Secter84
      @Secter84 4 роки тому

      @Brad Roberts really. My homie just got his Ccw here in denver n he said all he had to do was sit in a car n listen so sum jagg off talk 4 an hour. Didnt even have to shoot or nothing to show proficiency in handling a firearm. Said it was super easy.

  • @KB-qy6sl
    @KB-qy6sl 4 роки тому +30

    Lady: But I have to poop so bad!
    Officer/Deputy: Where do you think I was going?!
    Bwuhahaha!!!

  • @adenolinger3669
    @adenolinger3669 4 роки тому +429

    4:54 “the military gave the police these armored vehicles”
    Me an intellectual: give them apaches

    • @skyhawk_4526
      @skyhawk_4526 4 роки тому +31

      I'll raise you your armored vehicle and apache, and say AC-130s would be useful in Portland these days.

    • @SoulTouchMusic93
      @SoulTouchMusic93 4 роки тому +28

      @@skyhawk_4526 just nuke the whole place. There are no innocents in portland.

    • @allenmeza6786
      @allenmeza6786 4 роки тому +15

      Here me out.... fully operational Death Star

    • @edh3881
      @edh3881 4 роки тому +4

      How can I get free sh*t from the military? I'd like a bazooka (Do they still use those?) Or maybe a jeep.

    • @jamisonjohnstone2261
      @jamisonjohnstone2261 4 роки тому +9

      @@SoulTouchMusic93 Just down town please. The south east is still nice here. I don’t mind surviving in a fallout type scenario, but I do want to live.

  • @boduke8297
    @boduke8297 3 роки тому +8

    That is a light pole for like a shopping parking lot.. they weigh maybe 300lb. I've load those onto trailer before by myself. Lay the down and slide it. Not that it matters just didn't want give those tweekers credit for ingenuity!

  • @owenarkwell7789
    @owenarkwell7789 4 роки тому +203

    if it was 4500 pounds that car would be squatting, definitely doesnt weigh that much

    • @SilvaDreams
      @SilvaDreams 4 роки тому +17

      Yeah those are generally aluminum poles, it's why they don't rust after years of being out and just turn gray-ish. Two guys could man handle it onto a roof easily enough specially sine it isn't a sink into the ground type. They pour a cement base them bolt it down.

    • @jamesa.holman2634
      @jamesa.holman2634 4 роки тому +15

      SilvaDreams according to Google, an aluminum utility pole weighs 223 pounds.

    • @tubehound69
      @tubehound69 4 роки тому +13

      It would have probably crushed or caved in the roof too. Definitely not 4,500 pounds.

    • @nthgth
      @nthgth 4 роки тому

      @The USS Johnston the metal poles are probably hollow

    • @-JohnSmith-
      @-JohnSmith- 4 роки тому

      @@nthgth No shit Einstein

  • @octifiedstorm616
    @octifiedstorm616 4 роки тому +14

    Its so nice to see Donut so close to 2 million subs, as someone who's been here for a long long time it makes me happy to see him succeed this much.

  • @antalgergo2699
    @antalgergo2699 4 роки тому +25

    "Howdy son, what are you up to?"
    "Oh, I'm just gonna drink this can of Dr.Pepper"
    "..."
    "Dad?"
    " *THOU SHALLT NOT DRINKETH THE LAST OF THE DR. PEPPERS, MY SON* "

    • @TWRLS92
      @TWRLS92 4 роки тому +2

      "How about I Dr. Pepper you with bullet holes?"

    • @RipRLeeErmey
      @RipRLeeErmey 4 роки тому

      @@TWRLS92 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

  • @bdawgrise6961
    @bdawgrise6961 3 роки тому +36

    His wife’s reaction was priceless 😂😂😂

  • @flakeyfilms5792
    @flakeyfilms5792 4 роки тому +118

    In a alternative universe...
    Cop: "I need your license"
    Women: *"I NEED TO POOP"*
    Cop: "Your license is suspended"
    Women: *"My parent's aren't home :)"*
    Cop: *"Your parent's aren't at jail either :)"*

  • @ZergleJerk
    @ZergleJerk 4 роки тому +15

    I once had a guy tell me he needed to poop. I was like "yeah whatever" and I kept him cuffed and on the wall for not even 5 minutes while I searched through his stuff.
    I found nothing. He did in fact poop himself as well. It filled his shoes. He was wearing, basically, thick canvass material pants tucked into boots. He hershey squirted so much that his pants ballooned out up to his mid-calf area. I didn't know what to do. So I just said "Ok man." and he was embarassed and said "yeah thanks." I was so awkward that the next words out of my mouth were "ok man. see you later. have a...good...day..."
    He just walked away. And you could hear sloshing.

  • @KhamTVinc
    @KhamTVinc 4 роки тому +43

    When the cop pulling you over uses the same excuse as you...
    Her: I have to poop.
    Officer: Where do you think I was going?
    Her: (surprised pikachu face)

    • @SagebrushRambles
      @SagebrushRambles 4 роки тому +2

      That was the best part of the whole video 🤣

    • @coolminecraft1457
      @coolminecraft1457 4 роки тому

      J T I have to completely agree that plus the thought of some kid just munching down on some steel plates from an MRAP that would have gone to a PD

  • @roarkm.o.banjonjeffries3713
    @roarkm.o.banjonjeffries3713 2 роки тому

    Awesome that you're supporting military and law enforcement. I appreciate you. That means you gain value in my thought process daily.

  • @Q2CK
    @Q2CK 4 роки тому +131

    As a Pole I find those weight charts offensive

    • @thatonedude-6819
      @thatonedude-6819 4 роки тому +4

      Pole pride 🏴‍☠️

    • @Q2CK
      @Q2CK 4 роки тому +11

      Stop pierogi-shaming!

    • @anton2417
      @anton2417 4 роки тому +3

      4500 pounds is heavier then the car

    • @piotrtarkowski8595
      @piotrtarkowski8595 4 роки тому +1

      I join you in your protest brother.

    • @410_jav
      @410_jav 4 роки тому +1

      As a construction worker as do I that pole is clearly aluminum

  • @amcconnell6730
    @amcconnell6730 4 роки тому +186

    "How many children would that truck feed."
    ... also calls police on child hunting squirrels. How many squirrels would feed that child?

    • @thatonedude-6819
      @thatonedude-6819 4 роки тому +15

      I would’ve called the military on child hunting squirrels they sound terrifying!

    • @SomalianDuke
      @SomalianDuke 4 роки тому +4

      Bro that is genius.

    • @brasonbrower4507
      @brasonbrower4507 4 роки тому +7

      One minute she says "Hey we need to defund the police" then she see a little kids shooting at squirrels and she calls 911 the same people that she wants to defund.
      What an idiot 🙄

    • @workingjoe5599
      @workingjoe5599 4 роки тому +2

      Brason Brower watch a couple of kids will have a nerf war and call the police on them

    • @SilvaDreams
      @SilvaDreams 4 роки тому +1

      @@brasonbrower4507 But he had a deadly fully semi-auto assault pellet rifle!

  • @JakeLikesTech
    @JakeLikesTech 4 роки тому +49

    The lost knowledge of how they got it on top of the Kia Sorrento:
    Cocaine

    • @828enigma6
      @828enigma6 4 роки тому +1

      I want to know why the Kia wasn't squated. 4000 pounds should have almost squashed it.

    • @brannuthin1469
      @brannuthin1469 4 роки тому +8

      @@828enigma6 The car was on something too.

    • @bergenmatthew
      @bergenmatthew 4 роки тому

      Meths a little stronger of a dopamanergic than coke lol

    • @iamthecheese2737
      @iamthecheese2737 4 роки тому +5

      @@828enigma6, there's no way it weighed 4500 lbs, it would've crushed the roof and probably at the very least blew out the cambers. Probably aluminum, to give contrast, a 30' aluminum pole only weighs about 225 pounds. Easily managed by 2 meth heads.

    • @wbforsure2104
      @wbforsure2104 4 роки тому

      I used to haul them and they aren't 4,000lbs. I used to load 20 40' long ones into a 53' box trailer and still didn't gross 80k lbs. I think they were about 1,200lbs or something like that but still yet, that car had a great suspension.

  • @Sxzye
    @Sxzye 4 роки тому

    0:18 just the backpack I wanted I love camo and extra space for textbooks

    • @taquito5701
      @taquito5701 4 роки тому

      yeah, but the teachers might think you have a gun in there

  • @michaelegotti6439
    @michaelegotti6439 4 роки тому +9

    Dad: Wait this is the last dr pepper?
    Son ; it always has been
    Dad: not so fast buckaroo
    racks slide

  • @Really-Know
    @Really-Know 4 роки тому +49

    Florida man on meth: "Let's make a repost."
    Officer: "That is a light pole."
    Florida man: "It's for my wife."
    Officer: "Please step out of the kia Sorento."

  • @mdavidsonesq
    @mdavidsonesq 4 роки тому +13

    "You can't hug your children with nuclear arms!"
    Laugh out very loud.

  • @rynoman85
    @rynoman85 3 роки тому

    I have a savior rifle bag, and I love it. I’ve had it for about a year now. Carries two of my rifles, padded divider, even keeps your optics safe. Really well made product.

  • @JackofSpades6
    @JackofSpades6 4 роки тому +18

    I met a guy who said he was a guy from a Florida man headline, the headline was; “Florida man Pees on roof of church”

    • @nnerrfman6326
      @nnerrfman6326 4 роки тому +1

      Golden rain achievement unlocked!

  • @keepamericagreat7318
    @keepamericagreat7318 4 роки тому +16

    You talkin about the “primal brain” thing was hilarious!

  • @PrinceMeat
    @PrinceMeat 4 роки тому +145

    Last time I was this earlier donut wasn’t homeless

  • @diydunder3377
    @diydunder3377 4 роки тому +2

    9:08 the way she asked "can I please go home and go poop" was so God damn funny

  • @IncredibleMD
    @IncredibleMD 4 роки тому +81

    HOW MANY CHILDREN WOULD THE COST OF THIS TANK FEED!?
    Well, the tweet you're retweeting says the Moundsville police department got it for free, so... zero?

    • @skyhawk_4526
      @skyhawk_4526 4 роки тому +10

      I think she's saying instead of give that vehicle to the police, give it to the African warlords. Surely they would then sell it to feed the African kids. (Of course, they would sell it... To a terrorist group, and then keep all of the profits to make themselves more rich while their poor continue to starve, but that's beside the point.)

    • @diydunder3377
      @diydunder3377 4 роки тому +1

      This is underrated

    • @pork11
      @pork11 3 роки тому +1

      I live up there and this person makes me sad to live there!

  • @boris4840
    @boris4840 4 роки тому +10

    Donut gets a sponsorship from a bag company he wakes up in a cold sweat reminding himself about the Mayo

  • @ronanevans425
    @ronanevans425 4 роки тому +18

    Louisiana man exists
    Florida man: soon I will have a new apprentice one far younger and more powerful

    • @HurremDurrem
      @HurremDurrem 4 роки тому

      “Louisiana fried chicken wasn’t chicken”

  • @Niguido8
    @Niguido8 3 роки тому

    When you and your lady started reading that shit off I was ROARING. So fucking funny.

  • @mutedonkey8361
    @mutedonkey8361 4 роки тому +27

    Perp: "I have to poop so bad"
    Cop: "Where do you think I was going"
    Doo Doo everywhere 😂

  • @backyardbowhunting3818
    @backyardbowhunting3818 4 роки тому +38

    “I probably had weed in the car”. I’ve always had a feeling your a low key stoner😂

    • @westynwelch6360
      @westynwelch6360 4 роки тому +16

      There’s nothing wrong with a little weed it’s natural and a lot less side effects than man made pills. You’d be surprised how many people smoke weed. Most cops don’t care as long as you don’t have 20 pounds of it selling to kids

    • @ebabdbgbbbebbluesman6115
      @ebabdbgbbbebbluesman6115 4 роки тому +7

      SeriousName Drug tests are a scam. I know from experience, false negatives all day. False positives too. Its really a shame that a pharmaceutical company was able to corner the market making these silly tests that literally ruin innocent peoples lives and contribute to the opioid epidemic

    • @randomtexan1511
      @randomtexan1511 4 роки тому +1

      EbAbDbGbBbEb Bluesman yeah the drug test at work failed a guy who had taken Benadryl so some of them are obviously bs.

    • @leodesalis5915
      @leodesalis5915 4 роки тому +4

      @SeriousName hair testing doesn't date back that far and they usually only care that u don't use it anymore they don't care if u used to do it like the military live off drug addicts and petty criminals trying to turn their lives around

    • @NgocNguyen-ox6tu
      @NgocNguyen-ox6tu 4 роки тому

      nolinAgirlasia.link

  • @StudleyDuderight
    @StudleyDuderight 4 роки тому +19

    4:52 Imagine my disappointment when I read Alyssa Milano's tweet about Moundsville PD owning a tank then seeing that it's just a MRAP. I was picturing a MBT tricked out in black and white with the white and blues. This needs to happen but it absolutely must be a Leopard model so we can call it the LEOpard.

    • @Stop_Infanticide
      @Stop_Infanticide 4 роки тому

      WE NEED THIS TO GET ALL THE ANGRY SQUIRRELS HUNTING CHILDREN

  • @eccentrex9625
    @eccentrex9625 3 роки тому +1

    Love the “my co host is here”....cat proceeds to take a nice nap

  • @jacobszymczak9323
    @jacobszymczak9323 4 роки тому +27

    Donut is such a tactical operator, thanks in part to Savior Equipment, that ne doesn't even need an optic on the guns he brings to the range
    *Optics just slow him down*

    • @Fletchersfletch
      @Fletchersfletch 4 роки тому +1

      Laughed way harder than I should have to this 🤣🤣🤣

  • @ROBIN_SAGE
    @ROBIN_SAGE 4 роки тому +404

    Kaley’s reenactment made it SO MUCH BETTER. Luckiest man alive. She’s an awesome chick.

    • @stablestables1866
      @stablestables1866 3 роки тому +29

      Aye bro just say it...

    • @KrazyMCGaming
      @KrazyMCGaming 3 роки тому +5

      sucks he left her for texas and cheated on her

    • @wall7103
      @wall7103 3 роки тому +8

      @@KrazyMCGaming link to proof?

    • @KrazyMCGaming
      @KrazyMCGaming 3 роки тому +1

      look it up, there’s a thread on reddit with tweets and some evidence

    • @KrazyMCGaming
      @KrazyMCGaming 3 роки тому +4

      @@wall7103 donut was fuckin some instagram models and flew them out to texas

  • @chanceadams5157
    @chanceadams5157 4 роки тому +8

    Officer: you have a warrant for your arrest
    Me: but I have to poop
    Officer: ok you’re free to go

  • @SnuggieMaple
    @SnuggieMaple Рік тому +1

    I’m surprised not only were they able to lift the giant pole but the fact their car didn’t break

  • @TheSourKraut
    @TheSourKraut 4 роки тому +11

    I cracked up when your wife started laughing while saying the poop line.
    THAT would have gotten her out of a ticket.

  • @better2128
    @better2128 4 роки тому +100

    How many children would that truck eat?? This is so irresponsible and violent

  • @Burntrice747
    @Burntrice747 4 роки тому +120

    “ a defund the police activist called 911”

    • @martinandrewnewby1525
      @martinandrewnewby1525 4 роки тому +4

      great start to a stand up comedy routine

    • @Kalckie
      @Kalckie 4 роки тому +2

      "Hello and thank you for calling the police. I am sorry to inform you that your local police station has been closed due to lack of funds. But an "Aura and Positivity" specialist is informed and will start channeling love towards you and your current issue. Have a wonderful day."

    • @jacknedry3925
      @jacknedry3925 4 роки тому

      There's the problem...

  • @gorgecarlin2972
    @gorgecarlin2972 3 роки тому

    The first advertisement I’ve ever enjoyed. Good job donut. You deserve success.

  • @americathefree3708
    @americathefree3708 4 роки тому +17

    I have that sticker"I'm only driving fast because I REALLY have to poop!"

  • @Alconium
    @Alconium 4 роки тому +41

    I died. The Mayo Ravioli quick cut slayed me.

    • @protonjones54
      @protonjones54 4 роки тому

      the what?

    • @Alconium
      @Alconium 4 роки тому

      @@protonjones54 The backpack falls, the first one is mayonaise, the second one is ravioli, from his gear reviews. They're disgusting and glorious.

    • @protonjones54
      @protonjones54 4 роки тому

      @@Alconium
      Oh that clip lol

  • @WokeNTokeN
    @WokeNTokeN 4 роки тому +9

    The way the cop says get in the car at the end, lmaoooo. He's so done