honorable mentions: I WAS OVER ON THE BENCH brush ur teeth, boom orange juice, thats life. do my friends rlly hate me or do i just need to go to sleep? S T R E E T S M A R T S
Meanwhile what pisses me off is how inaccurate the female reindeer or in the Rankin Bas movie. REINDEER ARE NOT SEXUALLY DIMORPHIC, much to Prancer's occasional frustration I am sure.
This is what pisses me off about How to Train Your Dragon - we just forgive the whole village for bullying him and allowing his father to emotionally abuse him because 'well he's famous now'
@@KateCat420 Movie and TV writing is RIFE with absent or abusive fathers and sons just desperate to please them. (Argument 1001 for why we need more women writers.)
I want to preface this with the fact that I hope he's doing well, but imagine the emotional whirlwind of getting out a rehab just to have the entire internet start meming about you killing Prince Phillip
What I love about John is he that he seems like the genuine sort of person to go out of his way to make you feel included and comfortable which is vv nice
He's very clear and articulate, him and Matpat are the kind of people I could listen talking about marine biology or something, intently, for hours on end without ever dozing off
@@XISCify She’s tall but she’s not 5’9.” According to Celebheights (a surprisingly accurate site to find celebrities’ statures), she’s 5’7.” This situation’s more like finding out Bo Burnham’s 6’5.”
@@stupidvarietyhour He’s just over 6’5.” His head seems to be evenly proportioned with the rest of his body so he looks like he’s average height but no, he’s in the top .5% of men in terms of stature. He even pointed out he was tall during his specials, albeit in a slightly on the nose fashion.
My favorite part of that bit was how it started so calm then went from 0-100 with so you might say that I ALREADY GAVE THEM A HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!
I was once on a Delta flight where they made us board and then told us the flight was delayed for several hours, and I am not joking when I say that that one bit played in my head the entire time on loop.
My mom was describing a series of unfortunate events she had while flying on Delta and every time she mentioned something bad I said “✨because it’s Del-ta air-lines, and life is a fu-cking night-mare✨”
i had to cancel a flight with delta and the only way to contact them was with their online chat support and i shit you not i sent them that entire bit line by line bc i was waiting to talk to them for about 8 hours
The bits with john and cardi made me think.... what if they had a show together? Like.. buddy cop vibes except they're trying to pull off a heist. He's a professor and a single dad, she's working through a breakup and they meet bc cardi is getting a late college education :D no romance, bestie vibes only, they get really drunk and realise they both have been dreaming of getting rich through criminal means. Theft occurs, bonds are made, hijinks ensue
Wait someone explain real quick since you can ask all Bi about Tom Ellis(Lucifer) IMO or anyone remotely stunning and we'd still get the same fangirl/fanboying right?
@@ustupid3934 a few things, 1) you can copy paste links in youtube comments 2) i did google it, john asked for the divorce himself after he went into rehab... and his wife said she wished him the best in his addiction recovery. So im not sure what the heck you read, but it was wrong
@@esppupsnkits4560He’s got little guy energy. I’m small and I always say that anger compresses in people the shorter you get, so you get a bunch of frustrated heavily opinionated small people and then the tall folks have to save us from ourselves.
I talk to my therapist the way John talks to an audience, and I just wanna say that if I had to steal my personality, or phone speaking voice in this case, from anyone.. I’m proud that I subconsciously chose him. 😌
John has come so far in his comedy. He used to be so scared to be vulnerable in his specials, and now in his latest one he is so vulnerable and sweet and real.
John Mulaney is like that one thought you've had in the middle of like a nap who just comes back to you at the worst times just to make you laugh, math test "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair" driving "YOU F*CKING SPENT IT ALREADY!!" Talking to that one family member "Life is a f*cking nightmere"
Honerable mentions: "You spend a lot of your day telling a robot that you're not a robot. Think about that for 2 minutes and tell me you don't wanna walk into the ocean." "Or like when someone smokes too many cigarettes. Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards. Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake, and then barfs it up. And he would just keep talking, and it would slowly fade out, and say 'Executive Producer: Dick Wolf.' " "What kind of a cokehead relative is my college? You sPENT IT ALREADY!?" "Do you want...a Best Buy rewards card?"
I still like him, I can’t really blame him for another man’s mouth when the man wasn’t even invited, but I do think he should apologise for allowing Dave on stage at all.
@@valerieee1469 I’m not certain. It was either him or his team, but I also heard that they invited him to open the show because he was ‘in the area’ and stopped by himself. Someone online claimed he didn’t have any access tickets or whatever you needed prior to the day.
@@grey_sunbeams3440 yeah i see what you're saying 🤷♀️ still think that even if it was his team he should have refused to allow that, maybe he'll come out and say that he did and there was nothing he could do but I doubt it
@@valerieee1469 Yeah, some part of me hopes that too, but then again, I could see why he wouldn’t even if he supposedly might have wanted to. Dave being ‘famous’, and a comedian a little longer than him I think?, could have possibly intimidated him into allowing it, and into hugging him as a formality (in my opinion) at the end. Still, he should apologise either way because it upset quite a few of his fans. He can’t do any more than that now the damage is done, and if he did apologise, at least there’d be a reason for them to give him a second chance.
John Mulaney english major bit made me realize becoming a literature major would not stop me from disappointing my family (not because he is a disappointment, but because I dont truly want it and wouldn't work with it), but at least I didn't lose my time and money in a major I didn't want. Thank you, John
“so i leave the garage-mY OFFICE is in the gaRAGE”
and I go into the home where she is
the man who talks in fonts
Soon it won't be anymore
In the split second between those two sentences, my mind went to a dark place
honorable mention: "I gave you more money than the civil war cost, and you fuCKING SPENT IT ALREADY?!?!"
I thought that was brilliant too... even just the civil war reference
I say this to myself on a regular basis
Were is it from
@@joanizavalani thank you for your service.
@@joanizavalani I KNOW THAT LINK YOU CAN NOT FOOL ME HAHAHAAAA
" You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair," - john mulaneys father
John mulaneys father is iconic
@@caydinze9466 the black coffee legend
This is literally my senior quote
“hello, i’m chip mulaney. i’m your father.”
"- in Nazi Germany!-"
Seeing him in a tshirt was the most jarring thing I’ve ever seen
It's kinda like when you go on a school trip and your teacher wears a hoodie
@@shlomitgardi8982 I went on a school trip to Universal and my teacher was in shorts......
@@Reidmakes04 *w h a t*
WHERE I WATCH THE VIDEO AND IT JUST WENT PAST ME
@Sage Haupt this... this comments makes me feel this
lmao, the part about rudolf was so deep. "it doesn't erase the abuse", "fame and love are very different things"
Meanwhile what pisses me off is how inaccurate the female reindeer or in the Rankin Bas movie. REINDEER ARE NOT SEXUALLY DIMORPHIC, much to Prancer's occasional frustration I am sure.
Rudolph pisses me off too and I felt so good that John said what I couldn’t say
This is what pisses me off about How to Train Your Dragon - we just forgive the whole village for bullying him and allowing his father to emotionally abuse him because 'well he's famous now'
@@KateCat420 Movie and TV writing is RIFE with absent or abusive fathers and sons just desperate to please them. (Argument 1001 for why we need more women writers.)
Ironic since John cheated on his wife nd got a woman pregnant. I was shooketh
I’m convinced he barely laughs because he’s the funniest person in the world and everything has already occurred to him
lmfaoo probably
im just convinced that he laughs at his thoughts all day
This theory has merit.
@@edeciotheghost1637 what about bo burnham
@@edeciotheghost1637 Dave, Mulany, and Burr are some of the best.
*Prince Philip dies*
Me: *W-what did John do?*
What he had too
He couldn't have done it, because he was in New York and 38
@@willtestament6196 and in rehab
@@MarieJes23 it’s a joke because he was 12 and in Chicago (or a different age that is a childs and possibly another state) when Diana died.
@@jelly2584 I know 😅
“I was fucking kidding”. Lmao
1st reply
The BOY is 5’11 💀
I'M TALLER THAN THE BOY
I WAS F*KING KIDING!
the *B O Y*
I want to preface this with the fact that I hope he's doing well, but imagine the emotional whirlwind of getting out a rehab just to have the entire internet start meming about you killing Prince Phillip
i do not have social media so this is news to me. this is the funniest thing i cannot believe he would do this
Prove he didnt 🤨
@@breazy832 cuz he was in rehab in Pennsylvania and 38
@@gardeningkittycat6025 or was he ?!?!
Did he have a show on or around September 8th???
I think my favorite is "And he pushed me. He pushed me and he said, I am homeless, I am gay, I have aids, and I'm nEw In ToWn."
Us 🤝
that bit lives in my head rent free
Truly iconic
The way he says it too XD it's like "and he pPPpPhHhushed me"
"Really? You're going to close with new in town?"
I like the very last scene because I feel like he’s trying to make cardi not feel uncomfortable
Good on him.
She almost seems like she was stoned
What I love about John is he that he seems like the genuine sort of person to go out of his way to make you feel included and comfortable which is vv nice
@@dananabread6632 Exactly.
What a good boy
You can just tell that Rudolph rant was burning in him for YEARS.
"You can't just erase the abuse."
Idk, I feel like this makes an appearance at Christmas time every year😂
THAT INTERVIEW WITH CARDI B HASNT LEFT MY HEAD SINCE I SAW IT,,, ITS LIKE A FEVER DREAM
He carried that interview😂
That friendship is the one of the things you would never expect. I like it honestly ngl
@@vannamaharaj1713 you can't deny that cardi b is trash.
@@jery3385 Just because her music isn’t… the best… doesn’t mean she’s bad lol I wouldn’t know I don’t pay attention
@@jamietheangryoctopus5938 didn't hear about her drugging and robbing men before she was famous?
He lives rent free in my mind 😭💖🙌
You and I both
I'd like to live in his for a day..
@@ROBYNMARKOW OMG WOULDNT WE ALL!!
he really gotta start paying rent for us all
@@captainbouneface3820 😅
Something about the way John Mulaney talks is just so incredibly satisfying
It’s As If Every Word He Speaks Begins With A Capital Letter
He's very clear and articulate, him and Matpat are the kind of people I could listen talking about marine biology or something, intently, for hours on end without ever dozing off
He reminds me of like, an old Phil Hartman character.
Like, one day I came to the epiphany "John Mulaney would make a good Lionel Hutz".
hE kInDa TaLkS lIkE tHiS
@@annabelle228 no. That’s what mockery voice sounds like.
hearing john mulaney say he's 6'0 is like finding out jojo siwa is 5'9
W h a t
Right? He just looks so small
@@XISCify She’s tall but she’s not 5’9.” According to Celebheights (a surprisingly accurate site to find celebrities’ statures), she’s 5’7.” This situation’s more like finding out Bo Burnham’s 6’5.”
@@chickenfdisoruhg4915 HE IS FUCKING *WHAT*
@@stupidvarietyhour He’s just over 6’5.” His head seems to be evenly proportioned with the rest of his body so he looks like he’s average height but no, he’s in the top .5% of men in terms of stature. He even pointed out he was tall during his specials, albeit in a slightly on the nose fashion.
my fav is “i gave u more money then the civil war cost and u FUCKING SPENT IT ALREADY” 😭😭😭
My favorite part of that bit was how it started so calm then went from 0-100 with so you might say that I ALREADY GAVE THEM A HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!
my favorite is STAY DOWN ON THE GROUND, STAY DOWN ON THE GROUND
@@muraddiab6393 LMAOO SAME
@@rett064 MY SECOND FAV
when i tell you i think about 0:17 every day, i am not exaggerating
For me it’s the “I know you’ll have fries” with the flailing
every single time my bf & i wanna order something from uber eats we say “let’s be bad” * limp wrists *
@@NicholeParker yessssssssss! Haha
Anytime me and my bf order fries we do this bit, especially the I KNOW YOULL HAVE SOME FRIES
nah its JUST the 0:23 arm flailing
"I spent $120,000, HOW DARE you clap."
Gets me every time.
“Now you know how Blanket Jackson feels” holy shit lmaooo
I thought he was a made up character for South Park O.o
@@CordyBrush ME TOO
@@CordyBrushSAME
I swear I sing that Delta Airlines bit at least once every day
Me when life inconveniences me: Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fuckin nightmare~🎶
I was once on a Delta flight where they made us board and then told us the flight was delayed for several hours, and I am not joking when I say that that one bit played in my head the entire time on loop.
Did they try to frame you for murder?
My mom was describing a series of unfortunate events she had while flying on Delta and every time she mentioned something bad I said “✨because it’s Del-ta air-lines, and life is a fu-cking night-mare✨”
i had to cancel a flight with delta and the only way to contact them was with their online chat support and i shit you not i sent them that entire bit line by line bc i was waiting to talk to them for about 8 hours
The bits with john and cardi made me think.... what if they had a show together? Like.. buddy cop vibes except they're trying to pull off a heist. He's a professor and a single dad, she's working through a breakup and they meet bc cardi is getting a late college education :D no romance, bestie vibes only, they get really drunk and realise they both have been dreaming of getting rich through criminal means. Theft occurs, bonds are made, hijinks ensue
wait......*opens google docs*
@@steviemrsha oho??! (*'▽'*)
You have your rap career, and me... I got all these fuckin markers.
WRITE IT!
Why give people this idea and not write it?
Never in my life have I not know I needed something until I heard about it.
i swear everything this tall child does just lives in my mind rent free
how to tell if someone is bisexual: ask what they think about John mulaney
BAHAHAHA NOO I USE HIS QUOTES ALL THE TIME IN MY TIKTOKS - A bi
How dare you call me out like that
Wait someone explain real quick since you can ask all Bi about Tom Ellis(Lucifer) IMO or anyone remotely stunning and we'd still get the same fangirl/fanboying right?
HA I love him!
Oh
his little smile at the end just kills me
all the my wife jokes are making me sad now
It’s sad, yeah, but it’s better for people unhappy in a relationship to separate rather than stay together.
Ikr
@@ustupid3934 Source: “Dude trust me.”
@@ustupid3934 "you can't link sources in the comments"
Do you not know how links work?
@@ustupid3934 a few things, 1) you can copy paste links in youtube comments 2) i did google it, john asked for the divorce himself after he went into rehab... and his wife said she wished him the best in his addiction recovery.
So im not sure what the heck you read, but it was wrong
His sudden burst into laughter at 3:30 IS EVERYTHING
This is super random but John should see the 2005 Charlie and the Chocolate factory movie all the grandparents have lines and personalities
You’re so right, maybe then he’ll get some peace haha
I think that would make him angrier at charlie and grandpa joe lmfao
AND GEORGE STILL GETS JACK SHIT!
The older one was way more iconic but the 2005 one was my childhood lmao i am torn
Grandma Georgina was the sweetest
Love that he was hit with a therapy session out of nowhere and he could only say “ooo”.
"in case you've forgotten" is my fave expression of his, proper use of grammar is everything
my favs always come back to "now what would leonard bernstein do" and "we dont have time to unpack ALL of that" but i love these too
My fave is “get your goddamn epipen and GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
Hearing John Mulaney is 6ft tall feels like a lie. In my heart he is just a little guy.
What?!
@@esppupsnkits4560He’s got little guy energy. I’m small and I always say that anger compresses in people the shorter you get, so you get a bunch of frustrated heavily opinionated small people and then the tall folks have to save us from ourselves.
That flammable comment always gets me
looked up john mulaney and sorted by newest, went clicc on the first result, and i dont regret it, this was super well put together, nu sub :D
aw thank you so much!!!
“did John Mulaney kill princess Di?” “oh-nOo that was sO long ago”
The little bee on his tie, I can't
2:48 "you know he's 5'11!"
"...what?"
"THE BOY"
I CANT BREATHE OH MY GODDD I LOVE THIS MAN
I talk to my therapist the way John talks to an audience, and I just wanna say that if I had to steal my personality, or phone speaking voice in this case, from anyone.. I’m proud that I subconsciously chose him. 😌
JOHN MULANEY IS MYYYYY HEIGHT???? IVE GONE A DECADE THINKING HE WAS A 5’6 TWINK
Like Timothy Chamberlain?
IM 5’6 I CANT IMAGINE HIM BEING MY HEIGHT 😭
"My nana drove me to the prom :)" -John Mulaney
He killed 3 people and I like this guy
He was talking about JD wasn't he
I can't tell if this is a typo since it was OJ, a Heather's reference, or just a genuine mistake and I don't want to know
@@andreaprochowski4717 I think its a Scrubs reference.
Hahaa trulyy
robert durst
@@titanuranus3095 no it's legit a Heathers reference the antagonist is JD. And he's a murderer.
"Because we're Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking N I G H T M A R E~~~"
“I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to read Jane Austin. And I didn’t.”
So we not gonna talk about how 4:54 was pretty deep ngl💀
1:15 how did they get live footage of me in therapy
“Now you know how Blanket Jackson feels” criminally underrated!
I'm cracking up because my family and I have had full heated conversations about how the bullying of Rudolph got brushed over nearly every December. 😂
the way he lives rent free in my brain always
"How DArE you Clap for the woRST FINANCIAL DECISION I EVER MAdE IN MY LIFE"
"and he looks like a turtle"
idk why but that got me
He didn’t kill her, he was over on the bench
Memento mori friend 🖤🤍
John has come so far in his comedy. He used to be so scared to be vulnerable in his specials, and now in his latest one he is so vulnerable and sweet and real.
2:10 Timothee Chalamet took John Mulaney's wife and his best friend Pete Davidson haha....sorry John
1:01 & 1:11
Me when the villain is my favorite character in a series:
same
ong
What special is that
this tall child has my whole heart
Every time he brings up being an English major my family members and friends just look at me because I am an English major
Looking back at all of his old comedy and seeing how much he mentions cocaine and crack is actually kinda scary
he used to smoke craaackk
@@cept_huit_neuf hahah yep 😭
Me: he sounds like Andrew from Big Mouth
Me: oh wait
1:16 Iconic moment. Stephen Colbert is a very good interviewer and John Mulaney as a guest is just perfect entertainment.
*I'm so used to see him in suits all the time, that if you told me that he came out of his mom with a mini suit and a mic I wouldn't even question it*
Ever since I saw the Chalamet clip I’ve exclusively referred to him as The Boy.
"We're Delta airlines, and Life is a fucking nightmare" is iconic
With recent events and this vid, Im kind of worried about him. He seems like he holds in a lot of pain.
"Just water for me, and tremendous anxiety"
ugly laughed at ‘I am slick,’ just the way it slipped out
Slipped out😭😂
1:06 everyone in AHS
Seriously lol
i love johns laugh more than life itself
“Because we’re Delta Airlines and life is f*ckin nightmare” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I think about John Mulaney doing coke in his college dorm room while listening to Steely Dan probably twice a week
As an English major there is nothing more true but I love it
My intrusive thoughts are voiced by John Mullaney
I love when Pete and John hang out they’re so funny together
0:04 i love his “OH.”
I need Mulaney playing Mick Jagger in a biopic
The fact he's 6 feet tall gave me whiplash, i legit thought he was like 5'4 💀
We always thought he was on something, but it's still wierd now knowing definitively that he was on stuff in every single one of these clips
1:15 damn that aged incredibly
3:31 yknow i haven’t heard him laugh until this come to think of it
John Mulaney is like that one thought you've had in the middle of like a nap who just comes back to you at the worst times just to make you laugh, math test "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair" driving "YOU F*CKING SPENT IT ALREADY!!" Talking to that one family member "Life is a f*cking nightmere"
Honerable mentions: "You spend a lot of your day telling a robot that you're not a robot. Think about that for 2 minutes and tell me you don't wanna walk into the ocean."
"Or like when someone smokes too many cigarettes. Or like when someone shops too much with credit cards. Or like when someone plays too many scratchy lotteries. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake. Or like when someone eats too much chocolate cake, and then barfs it up. And he would just keep talking, and it would slowly fade out, and say 'Executive Producer: Dick Wolf.' "
"What kind of a cokehead relative is my college? You sPENT IT ALREADY!?"
"Do you want...a Best Buy rewards card?"
It's amazing to see how many clues about his addiction were there all along. 😮
The fact he’s 6ft tall doesn’t sit right w me... if I met him in person he would be 4 inches taller than me- he gives off short energy I’m sorry
he's surprisingly tall in person it's overwhelming
Idk why but the way he says "i was FUCKING KIDDING" is absolutely hilarious to me
I hurts that this is in my recommendations immediately after the dave chapelle thing... I loved him :/
I still like him, I can’t really blame him for another man’s mouth when the man wasn’t even invited, but I do think he should apologise for allowing Dave on stage at all.
wasn't he literally the one that invited him? that's what I heard at least
@@valerieee1469 I’m not certain. It was either him or his team, but I also heard that they invited him to open the show because he was ‘in the area’ and stopped by himself. Someone online claimed he didn’t have any access tickets or whatever you needed prior to the day.
@@grey_sunbeams3440 yeah i see what you're saying 🤷♀️ still think that even if it was his team he should have refused to allow that, maybe he'll come out and say that he did and there was nothing he could do but I doubt it
@@valerieee1469 Yeah, some part of me hopes that too, but then again, I could see why he wouldn’t even if he supposedly might have wanted to. Dave being ‘famous’, and a comedian a little longer than him I think?, could have possibly intimidated him into allowing it, and into hugging him as a formality (in my opinion) at the end. Still, he should apologise either way because it upset quite a few of his fans. He can’t do any more than that now the damage is done, and if he did apologise, at least there’d be a reason for them to give him a second chance.
My school is doing a production of Willy wonka and when he mentioned grandpa George I cackled because George is one of our comedic side characters
“THE BOY. HE’S 5’11!”
You know, John Mulaney would be pretty good in a detective role from a comedy movie
John Mulaney and Katya from drag race are on the same edge of the spectrum
John Mulaney english major bit made me realize becoming a literature major would not stop me from disappointing my family (not because he is a disappointment, but because I dont truly want it and wouldn't work with it), but at least I didn't lose my time and money in a major I didn't want. Thank you, John
I love this man so much!
Thank you for this video! ✨
1:22 "✨oOuh✨"
me, pretending to give an interview and realizing I have more trauma than I thought
i hate that i know he was talking about willy wonka and the chocolate factory.
“Ooh…”
"it was nickle shot night at O'halagins"
I hope Anna Marie gets with Timothee Chalamet
This was so well made! I love it!
It’s unhealthy how I know all of these moments that I follow along😂❤️
He has some strong feelings about Rudolph