Don’t even have to date a woman like that to appreciate a Cinderella mate. The ugly stepsister archetype are inherently repulsive (for LTR commitment) to most men from the jump. Some younger guys who might not have good role models or mentorship will entertain these types or become addicted to the ‘chase’ bollocks (Men never evolved to ‘hunt’ their sexual partner, the drivers for sex and food are different) however they usually grow out of this desire or behaviour when their test is no longer peaking. Unfortunately many women will see examples of this immature period in men’s lives & misunderstand what is driving them or how men interpret that behaviour from the difficult/bitchy women getting that cheap attention
Yeah, I'd say you nailed it. Men want women with good character. Being a Cinderella takes guts, wisdom and maturity. Being bitter and resentful takes almost no effort and it suggest childish immaturity. "You can get bitter or you can get better. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you.". Cinderella embodies this quote.
My ex was actually a lot like this, she felt entitled to my time, energy, to me apologizing over anything she feels like I should, which was fucking everything all the time. She also wasn't very nice when it came to words and she clearly thought that she didn't have to put in any effort or change anything about herself and that I actually am the one who should change to become more submissive and just do what she wants, which is basically slavery, but she wasn't willing to talk about making things work, she didn't like the fact that I disagreed with her about mangrove trees being good at stopping flooding (turns out I was right, you'd need a lot of them) and that's why she broke up with me. Shed preach forgiveness, freedom, sympathy, and empathy, but when it came down to it she lacked any of those things. She likes to find mean things to say and the blame it on others for doing something that she considered to be a slight against her, she never used logic, just how she felt. She was the definition of someone who was tricked by society to treat others like shit for no real reason
A women who made decisions based off of her emotions and not her logic. Her breaking up with you was a blessing in disguise because I would have ended that shit a long time ago. No woman is gonna devalue my opinion or gaslight me or be dismissive and run when she’s called out. When you become a secure attached person everything and everyone you look at changes and its for the better I promise
Brother, it sounds like you were dating a malignant narcissist trust me, I know what it's like. I dated one from many years ago and she put me through a mental and emotional hell. Although the intimacy was off the charts, once the pathological lying came in on her part, she showed that the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. I understand your pain brother. Do your best to take it as a learning lesson instead as a Loss moving forward as I did. 🙏🏾🫡
This is what is great about UA-cam. You took an idea that I have thought about many times, but never like this, and I really like the way you frame the issue of cultural entitlement vs intrinsic value. A skillful way to explain this concept and it makes perfect sense. Well done!
Appreciate your distinguishing between outer beauty and inner beauty. Women are tempted to chase the outer because that’s what draws the initial male attention, however, it doesn’t keep it. It only acts as a catalyst. And it never lasts. Only the inner can do so.
As a woman, I totally resonate with Cinderella architype and also remind that as Cinderella does know her worth, she will not have any other than the prince (or King). How many men embody that architype to actually attract the Cinderella..
That was brilliant, your best work yet. It's so good I'm tempted to share it but I'm weighing whether the inevitable ugly stepsister blowback is worth it.
Had a coworker who just dissed his own wife, constantly. My coworkers piled on . Truth was, she was the primary bread winner in their family. When I met her she seemed stressed beyond domestic load. I started to notice that my coworker, her husband had been playing us against her, and her against us. Triangulation. I refused to believe his crap. The instant his inheritance came through, he filed for divorce and insisted that she pay child support. I remained neutral. Eventually I could see her for the person she is. He was the entitled jerk in their story. He destroyed her self esteem. As he tried to do to every coworker.
Yes. These "feminine" virtues grace, humility, patience are also important for men to foster in themselves, as we all have a feminine and masculine side.
The number of women currently exhibiting an absolutely pathological sene of entitlement, coupled with unchecked aggression, is absolutely staggering... Finding Cinderella IMO is an exercise in futility.
Wow. Really interesting analysis. We are the same humans throughout history so it makes sense that our fables and tales would hit on these universal truths. Thanks for giving me some tasty food for thought this morning.
This is among the most brilliant analyses I have heard on male female dynamics in the modern area. Comparing the wicked step mother to the hyper feminist movement, the step sisters to the women who adhere to it, Cinderella to the woman who does not conform, and the prince as the grounded male who is not attracted to the step sisters but to Cinderella is spot on. And I would add that the prince who rejects the driven boss girl and looks to the kind, nurturing Cinderella is maligned as a misogynist. This is such a good analysis in modern archetypes, but I would say goes all the way back to the bible. We can read in I Peter 3:2-5 instructing women: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry, and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in the sight of God. For this is the way holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful".
Thanks for this video, it's a great explanation. Just like in the story, if men work on themselves and become more like the prince archetypes, these women don't exist in their reality. It's just not a problem. Hard as it may seem, there's always someone out there for you if you are open to it. Maybe not in the same area you're in, or in the places you usually look, but it's out there. Connor, I would love to see some videos with constructive advice for men that are dating and "upscaling" from the ugly stepdaughters so they don't get stuck in thinking the dating pool is just miserable and blame everything on feminism.
@@jbdsvld8175 The point of my comment was to say that men who are willing to take that responsibility for themselves move beyond blaming feminism for their own situation while recognizing it can be an issue in society overall. Those men will find partners who are not like the ugly stepdaughters and build happy lives for themselves
@@Maerque Of course we're not going to move past blaming feminism as that would let the problem fester. It would be placing the horse behind the cart as feminism is the reason we're in this predicament.
Fun fact: In the original Cinderella story, it was her REAL mother and sisters who were jealous of her and mistreated her because of it. The brothers Grimm changed it to make it more palatable for readers.
There was no "original" story. There were thousands of variations floating around and the Grimm's wrote down one or a synthesized version of the variety.
Excellent video and great idea to view this situation through the lens of fairytales and archetypes 🙏! I have had my fair share of the ugly stepsister type in the past as well. They seem to be the majority nowadays, you see them everywhere on dating apps and social media. But this might not actually be the case. I guess there are a lot of decent, genuine caring and self aware women out there. Most of them just don't are as visible as the entitled ones crying and screaming on social media. It's the same with men. Of course there are the reckless bad boys who play and betray women out of their internal insecurities. But this is certainly not the majority of men. I am sure that most men are decent, genuine persons. The problem in our society seems to be the fact, that the focus always wanders to the sides screaming and making the most noise, which is typically the extremes. So guys, there are women out there who are not the ugly stepsister type. You'll find them where no one is looking 😊
Thank you for your video it was very informational and fun to listen to😊. And my experience I agree with being feminist. If you look up the definition in the dictionary I agree with it. But nowhere in the definitions does it give a person to be a right to be mean and nasty and ugly. And every feminist out there that I run into they are exactly that
I'm just sitting here wondering how Connor gets out of bed in the morning w/ the balls of steel weighing him down that he has to discuss topics like these openly. It's gotta be like a non-stop farmer's walk for him everyday. Keep it coming! This is exactly the type of stuff that men are having trouble articulating what they want from women.
in a world FULL of ugly stepsisters it really does seem there are no cinderella's. Being kind, humble & nurturing are not qualities women seem to aspire to anymore, very sad. What an excellent point you make.
Appreciate the content and weaving in something (the Cinderella story) that we can all relate to. Good title too. Wondering what kind of lighting do you use so you don’t get the ring light mirrored in your glasses? That’s something I deal with and would like to find an alternative. Thanks.
Generally, I agree with this. It's not okay for anyone to be entitled, abusive, or have all around bad morals. However, I think we need to be careful here. Women are raised to be "good girls" where they often learn that it is okay to not set boundaries and hold standards. Many times women are taught from a very young age to abandon themselves to prioritize the needs of others. There has been a cultural shift that has been empowering women to speak up for themselves. With that comes some extreme levels that definitely fall into the entitled, bad morals, bitter category. However, there is the healthy version which is where a woman knows what she deserves and treats her partner well in return. If you are a afraid of a woman having reasonable, healthy boundaries and standards, that says more about you than it does about her. If she is making unreasonable requests and treating you poorly, that is on her. Both men and women need to self-reflect, grow, and take responsibility for their side of the street in relationships.
Yes, I agree. and thank-you for your comment. I am not sure if men realize that it can be quite terrifying for women out there. Had a recent interaction with a gentleman, who I met through a mutual acquaintance, ask me where I lived. I gave a vague answer, I named a suburb. He kept insisting on finding out where I lived, what street. In the end I said, "That is none of your business". Note: I didn't know this guy. He is a stranger. But he was offended that I said that to him. "None of your business." to him trying to find out where I lived. In the end he was trying to make small talk. But I have to be careful. If he wanted to know where I lived he will get the suburb. Unless he is a government agency, bank or whatever, I am not going to tell him where I live. Maybe I was abrupt with him. I am not sure. I think I was annoyed with his persistence and yes, I had to apologize to him for hurting his feelings. We are bitches when we put in boundaries. Boundaries that are often about our safety. And we are called upon to apologize to the man when our boundaries (often our boundaries that are there to keep us safe) hurt his feelings, bruise his ego. For me, I would recommend every girl over the age of 11 does self defence. Some form of Martial Arts. Not to beat the crap out of men but to cultivate a sense that they are worth defending. Martial Arts also has a discipline in to it as well. One that is about cultivating relationships through mutual respect.
very well said 💯 also, in 99% of cases most girls are Cinderellas but after extremely negative experiences with man when they are used and treated poorly after being loving and wholeheartedly into a relationship with someone, this is when their character brakes and changes to the “ ugly sisters”
@@honey_valerie True, and I'm sure many men have had similar bad experiences with women as well. I think the way to avoid the bitterness on both sides is to acknowledge 90% of dating and relationships is watching people's trauma play out (including your own). Some people are not bad people, but do hurtful things in the context of dating and relationships out of a response to their own trauma. Of course, that doesn't make it okay to be on the receiving end of; however, what separates the Cinderellas and Prince Charmings from the others is self-awareness, taking ownership when they messed up, and working on themselves so they are better in the future. There are of course lines where it is 100% abusive and not okay. Obviously any form of physical or sexual abuse is not okay. If someone knows their actions are emotionally harming someone, and they continue it anyway instead of working on themselves, that is abusive (even if they are acting out of trauma). I've dated guys that definitely fall into the abusive category and those experiences taught me the most about my own trauma and what I deserve in the future. They taught me the importance of setting boundaries and walking away when someone is acting in a hurtful way. I've also dated guys that I still think are wonderful people; however, they still acted in hurtful ways sometimes. They showed self-awareness though and cared about how their action impacted me (so much so that they broke up with me because they felt like they couldn't meet my needs). I wanted to keep trying, but I also respect what he did even though it hurt. All of this to say, this shouldn't be a battle between men and women or who treats who the worst. It should be about empathizing with each other, respecting each other's boundaries, aiming to mutually meet each other's needs, and being willing to walk away if it's not working. Walking away doesn't mean the other person is horrible or a lost cause, they just might not be ready for the same type of relationship that you are at the moment, but with growth they will be an amazing partner to someone someday.
@philippossnortis2035 every person is going to define worth differently and have different needs in a relationship. In extreme cases, this can be unreasonable and unrealistic (aka ugly stepsister vibes) but other times it is very reasonable and healthy. For me, I would say I deserve consistency (i.e., not disappearing for 11 days without any explanation and then coming back acting like no time has passed), being willing to communicate and talk through challenges in a healthy way (i.e., not stonewalling, yelling, using accusatory language, etc), and istening to and respecting what I feel comfortable with (i.e., not using manipulative tactics or blatantly ignoring if I feel uncomfortable). I deserve these things because I bring them to a relationship in return. I would argue everyone deserves these basic things in a healthy relationship. If you are not bringing these qualities to the table, you aren't ready for a relationship and will inevitably hurt and traumatize the other person.
Yes. Society has changed and the vast majority of women operate without reference to morality or a moral compass. I don't understand why we should want to marry someone that can't be counted on to keep their word, or to treat others courteously while operating in good faith. I wouldn't enter into a business arrangement with a man that behaved the way most women behave now. That would be insane. Marriage is at it's core, a business arrangement designed to maintain enough stability to support a family. Good luck gentlemen. I'll be keeping all of my chips this hand.
The ugly step sister or the ugly step brother problem during dating in todays world while at the same time there are so many allegedly only 'dating coaches' around.
On social media, it's not unusual for women to be told 'remember who you are. You are priceless. You are the main event. You are the priority always" It's not easy to navigate for a young woman Showing vulnerability is frowned upon, and it's very scary for most. Love this video I like using fairytales but do wonder about the ugly sisters. In the story, they were physically unattractive, and many entitled women are externally very attractive and sexual.
In the original Cinderella story, it was her real mother and sisters who were jealous of her. Cinderella was supposed to be a cautionary tale for women not to be jealous of their own beautiful and good daughters and sisters. The brothers Grimm changed it to step sisters and step mother to make it more reader friendly, but in doing so they changed the whole meaning of the story.
Many women are the kind and graceful Cinderella and desire to stay that way. But it is a vulnerable state to constantly be in, if in turn, a man is testing to see how real it is and then later testing if you have a backbone - all in the courting phase. I’m not a zoo animal. Don’t poke me on purpose, I bleed.
Yup, I was emotionally abused by men, including my step father, before getting angry and suspicious of every men :/ in the end we all need to do better
Men have an option either join the game with a vast army of thirsty guys who lavish attention on very average women or step back and save your time and money.
Damn. This was my ex-fiancé. She was spoiled and wanted EVERYTHING. Nothing was good enough. I'm fit, successful, thoughtful, caring and a great lover -- and despite that I would not roll over and let her treat me like a beta -- so she packed up and left without a word.
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
@@williamtuite1120 Interestingly a lot of these women are old, alone and enjoying life. I remember seeing a post on facebook about a woman in her 70's who lost her husband (he died) and her grandson got her a dog. There was a comment under the post. "That poor woman, she spent her life looking after her husband, now she has to look after a dog!". She thought she caught a break after her husband died, but NOPE, her grandson has hoisted a creature onto her that she now has to look after as well. 😐
Every man should go through a woman like this, makes you appreciate the Cinderellas!
Don’t even have to date a woman like that to appreciate a Cinderella mate. The ugly stepsister archetype are inherently repulsive (for LTR commitment) to most men from the jump.
Some younger guys who might not have good role models or mentorship will entertain these types or become addicted to the ‘chase’ bollocks
(Men never evolved to ‘hunt’ their sexual partner, the drivers for sex and food are different) however they usually grow out of this desire or behaviour when their test is no longer peaking.
Unfortunately many women will see examples of this immature period in men’s lives & misunderstand what is driving them or how men interpret that behaviour from the difficult/bitchy women getting that cheap attention
I married a Cinderella. My wife has impeccable character
Yeah, I'd say you nailed it. Men want women with good character. Being a Cinderella takes guts, wisdom and maturity. Being bitter and resentful takes almost no effort and it suggest childish immaturity. "You can get bitter or you can get better. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you.". Cinderella embodies this quote.
Great video, I agree with you. There is definitely a lack of Cinderella archetypes in a modern society.
These entitled and authoritarian women are scattered through corporate America as well, so men are dealing with them at work too
That’s what I’m talking about! What a wonderful archetypal exploration of Cinderella through the modern lens of dating. Great work.
My ex was actually a lot like this, she felt entitled to my time, energy, to me apologizing over anything she feels like I should, which was fucking everything all the time. She also wasn't very nice when it came to words and she clearly thought that she didn't have to put in any effort or change anything about herself and that I actually am the one who should change to become more submissive and just do what she wants, which is basically slavery, but she wasn't willing to talk about making things work, she didn't like the fact that I disagreed with her about mangrove trees being good at stopping flooding (turns out I was right, you'd need a lot of them) and that's why she broke up with me. Shed preach forgiveness, freedom, sympathy, and empathy, but when it came down to it she lacked any of those things. She likes to find mean things to say and the blame it on others for doing something that she considered to be a slight against her, she never used logic, just how she felt. She was the definition of someone who was tricked by society to treat others like shit for no real reason
Well that sucks
I'm glad you're in the other side of it, and it sounds like you can see it clearly
Sounds near identical to my now ex wife , glad you made it through
A women who made decisions based off of her emotions and not her logic. Her breaking up with you was a blessing in disguise because I would have ended that shit a long time ago. No woman is gonna devalue my opinion or gaslight me or be dismissive and run when she’s called out. When you become a secure attached person everything and everyone you look at changes and its for the better I promise
You’re so right I liked your comment half way thru reading it
Brother, it sounds like you were dating a malignant narcissist trust me, I know what it's like. I dated one from many years ago and she put me through a mental and emotional hell. Although the intimacy was off the charts, once the pathological lying came in on her part, she showed that the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. I understand your pain brother. Do your best to take it as a learning lesson instead as a Loss moving forward as I did. 🙏🏾🫡
This is what is great about UA-cam. You took an idea that I have thought about many times, but never like this, and I really like the way you frame the issue of cultural entitlement vs intrinsic value. A skillful way to explain this concept and it makes perfect sense. Well done!
Appreciate that! Glad the video resonated.
Appreciate your distinguishing between outer beauty and inner beauty. Women are tempted to chase the outer because that’s what draws the initial male attention, however, it doesn’t keep it. It only acts as a catalyst. And it never lasts. Only the inner can do so.
yeah, that's the point, lots of chasing for the outer beauty, but it doesn't last if the character isn't good. Women seem to not know this.
As a woman, I totally resonate with Cinderella architype and also remind that as Cinderella does know her worth, she will not have any other than the prince (or King). How many men embody that architype to actually attract the Cinderella..
You think you are, but just from your comment I can sense that you are the ugly sister 😉
Worth ? What worth?
That was brilliant, your best work yet. It's so good I'm tempted to share it but I'm weighing whether the inevitable ugly stepsister blowback is worth it.
I’m surprised they haven’t bled into the comments.
@@justaguy1114they have, but they couch their arrogance and entitlement in victimhood, i.e. "men hurt us first!"
lolol... same!
Had a coworker who just dissed his own wife, constantly. My coworkers piled on .
Truth was, she was the primary bread winner in their family. When I met her she seemed stressed beyond domestic load.
I started to notice that my coworker, her husband had been playing us against her, and her against us. Triangulation. I refused to believe his crap.
The instant his inheritance came through, he filed for divorce and insisted that she pay child support. I remained neutral.
Eventually I could see her for the person she is.
He was the entitled jerk in their story. He destroyed her self esteem. As he tried to do to every coworker.
Yes. These "feminine" virtues grace, humility, patience are also important for men to foster in themselves, as we all have a feminine and masculine side.
that was sooo good! Appreciate your understanding very much
Best video so far!
Yes, you're on the money.
The number of women currently exhibiting an absolutely pathological sene of entitlement, coupled with unchecked aggression, is absolutely staggering... Finding Cinderella IMO is an exercise in futility.
Wow. Really interesting analysis. We are the same humans throughout history so it makes sense that our fables and tales would hit on these universal truths.
Thanks for giving me some tasty food for thought this morning.
This is among the most brilliant analyses I have heard on male female dynamics in the modern area. Comparing the wicked step mother to the hyper feminist movement, the step sisters to the women who adhere to it, Cinderella to the woman who does not conform, and the prince as the grounded male who is not attracted to the step sisters but to Cinderella is spot on. And I would add that the prince who rejects the driven boss girl and looks to the kind, nurturing Cinderella is maligned as a misogynist. This is such a good analysis in modern archetypes, but I would say goes all the way back to the bible. We can read in I Peter 3:2-5 instructing women: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry, and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in the sight of God. For this is the way holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful".
Thanks. Great content.
Great analysis!
Epic vid. Congrats
Spot on!
Thanks for this video, it's a great explanation. Just like in the story, if men work on themselves and become more like the prince archetypes, these women don't exist in their reality. It's just not a problem.
Hard as it may seem, there's always someone out there for you if you are open to it. Maybe not in the same area you're in, or in the places you usually look, but it's out there.
Connor, I would love to see some videos with constructive advice for men that are dating and "upscaling" from the ugly stepdaughters so they don't get stuck in thinking the dating pool is just miserable and blame everything on feminism.
Feminism is the thing to blame so no need for him to do that. It's always feminism that puts everything on men, which you seem to do too.
@@jbdsvld8175 The point of my comment was to say that men who are willing to take that responsibility for themselves move beyond blaming feminism for their own situation while recognizing it can be an issue in society overall. Those men will find partners who are not like the ugly stepdaughters and build happy lives for themselves
@@Maerque Of course we're not going to move past blaming feminism as that would let the problem fester. It would be placing the horse behind the cart as feminism is the reason we're in this predicament.
@@jbdsvld8175 Up to you :) You can either keep blaming feminism or create the amazing life you want for yourself.
@@jbdsvld8175totally agree
Fun fact: In the original Cinderella story, it was her REAL mother and sisters who were jealous of her and mistreated her because of it. The brothers Grimm changed it to make it more palatable for readers.
There was no "original" story. There were thousands of variations floating around and the Grimm's wrote down one or a synthesized version of the variety.
The real challenge is to maintain good character through many bad situations. For men and women
Excellent video and great idea to view this situation through the lens of fairytales and archetypes 🙏!
I have had my fair share of the ugly stepsister type in the past as well. They seem to be the majority nowadays, you see them everywhere on dating apps and social media. But this might not actually be the case. I guess there are a lot of decent, genuine caring and self aware women out there. Most of them just don't are as visible as the entitled ones crying and screaming on social media. It's the same with men. Of course there are the reckless bad boys who play and betray women out of their internal insecurities. But this is certainly not the majority of men. I am sure that most men are decent, genuine persons. The problem in our society seems to be the fact, that the focus always wanders to the sides screaming and making the most noise, which is typically the extremes.
So guys, there are women out there who are not the ugly stepsister type. You'll find them where no one is looking 😊
Thank you for your video it was very informational and fun to listen to😊. And my experience I agree with being feminist. If you look up the definition in the dictionary I agree with it. But nowhere in the definitions does it give a person to be a right to be mean and nasty and ugly. And every feminist out there that I run into they are exactly that
I'm just sitting here wondering how Connor gets out of bed in the morning w/ the balls of steel weighing him down that he has to discuss topics like these openly. It's gotta be like a non-stop farmer's walk for him everyday.
Keep it coming! This is exactly the type of stuff that men are having trouble articulating what they want from women.
No advert on this.
It’s what we women need to hear as well. To look beautiful but act ugly undermines all the paint and plastic.
Nice 🙏
Interested to see the feedback in the comments. I really appreciated the point about character.
Good one Connor. Thank you.
Spot on.
This is genius!
Ugly comes from within
Great video
in a world FULL of ugly stepsisters it really does seem there are no cinderella's. Being kind, humble & nurturing are not qualities women seem to aspire to anymore, very sad. What an excellent point you make.
Appreciate the content and weaving in something (the Cinderella story) that we can all relate to. Good title too. Wondering what kind of lighting do you use so you don’t get the ring light mirrored in your glasses? That’s something I deal with and would like to find an alternative. Thanks.
Are the women listening to this?! Preaching to the choir here.
Present 🖐
Eventually a switch is flipped and the loyal honest underappreciated prince walks away.
Generally, I agree with this. It's not okay for anyone to be entitled, abusive, or have all around bad morals. However, I think we need to be careful here. Women are raised to be "good girls" where they often learn that it is okay to not set boundaries and hold standards. Many times women are taught from a very young age to abandon themselves to prioritize the needs of others. There has been a cultural shift that has been empowering women to speak up for themselves. With that comes some extreme levels that definitely fall into the entitled, bad morals, bitter category. However, there is the healthy version which is where a woman knows what she deserves and treats her partner well in return. If you are a afraid of a woman having reasonable, healthy boundaries and standards, that says more about you than it does about her. If she is making unreasonable requests and treating you poorly, that is on her. Both men and women need to self-reflect, grow, and take responsibility for their side of the street in relationships.
Yes, I agree. and thank-you for your comment. I am not sure if men realize that it can be quite terrifying for women out there.
Had a recent interaction with a gentleman, who I met through a mutual acquaintance, ask me where I lived.
I gave a vague answer, I named a suburb. He kept insisting on finding out where I lived, what street. In the end I said, "That is none of your business". Note: I didn't know this guy. He is a stranger. But he was offended that I said that to him. "None of your business." to him trying to find out where I lived.
In the end he was trying to make small talk. But I have to be careful. If he wanted to know where I lived he will get the suburb. Unless he is a government agency, bank or whatever, I am not going to tell him where I live.
Maybe I was abrupt with him. I am not sure. I think I was annoyed with his persistence and yes, I had to apologize to him for hurting his feelings.
We are bitches when we put in boundaries. Boundaries that are often about our safety. And we are called upon to apologize to the man when our boundaries (often our boundaries that are there to keep us safe) hurt his feelings, bruise his ego.
For me, I would recommend every girl over the age of 11 does self defence. Some form of Martial Arts. Not to beat the crap out of men but to cultivate a sense that they are worth defending. Martial Arts also has a discipline in to it as well. One that is about cultivating relationships through mutual respect.
very well said 💯
also, in 99% of cases most girls are Cinderellas but after extremely negative experiences with man when they are used and treated poorly after being loving and wholeheartedly into a relationship with someone, this is when their character brakes and changes to the “ ugly sisters”
@@honey_valerie True, and I'm sure many men have had similar bad experiences with women as well. I think the way to avoid the bitterness on both sides is to acknowledge 90% of dating and relationships is watching people's trauma play out (including your own). Some people are not bad people, but do hurtful things in the context of dating and relationships out of a response to their own trauma. Of course, that doesn't make it okay to be on the receiving end of; however, what separates the Cinderellas and Prince Charmings from the others is self-awareness, taking ownership when they messed up, and working on themselves so they are better in the future. There are of course lines where it is 100% abusive and not okay. Obviously any form of physical or sexual abuse is not okay. If someone knows their actions are emotionally harming someone, and they continue it anyway instead of working on themselves, that is abusive (even if they are acting out of trauma). I've dated guys that definitely fall into the abusive category and those experiences taught me the most about my own trauma and what I deserve in the future. They taught me the importance of setting boundaries and walking away when someone is acting in a hurtful way. I've also dated guys that I still think are wonderful people; however, they still acted in hurtful ways sometimes. They showed self-awareness though and cared about how their action impacted me (so much so that they broke up with me because they felt like they couldn't meet my needs). I wanted to keep trying, but I also respect what he did even though it hurt. All of this to say, this shouldn't be a battle between men and women or who treats who the worst. It should be about empathizing with each other, respecting each other's boundaries, aiming to mutually meet each other's needs, and being willing to walk away if it's not working. Walking away doesn't mean the other person is horrible or a lost cause, they just might not be ready for the same type of relationship that you are at the moment, but with growth they will be an amazing partner to someone someday.
Define worth ?
Why women think that they deserve everything just because!?
@philippossnortis2035 every person is going to define worth differently and have different needs in a relationship. In extreme cases, this can be unreasonable and unrealistic (aka ugly stepsister vibes) but other times it is very reasonable and healthy. For me, I would say I deserve consistency (i.e., not disappearing for 11 days without any explanation and then coming back acting like no time has passed), being willing to communicate and talk through challenges in a healthy way (i.e., not stonewalling, yelling, using accusatory language, etc), and istening to and respecting what I feel comfortable with (i.e., not using manipulative tactics or blatantly ignoring if I feel uncomfortable). I deserve these things because I bring them to a relationship in return. I would argue everyone deserves these basic things in a healthy relationship. If you are not bringing these qualities to the table, you aren't ready for a relationship and will inevitably hurt and traumatize the other person.
Yes. Society has changed and the vast majority of women operate without reference to morality or a moral compass. I don't understand why we should want to marry someone that can't be counted on to keep their word, or to treat others courteously while operating in good faith. I wouldn't enter into a business arrangement with a man that behaved the way most women behave now. That would be insane. Marriage is at it's core, a business arrangement designed to maintain enough stability to support a family. Good luck gentlemen. I'll be keeping all of my chips this hand.
The ugly step sister or the ugly step brother problem during dating in todays world while at the same time there are so many allegedly only 'dating coaches' around.
Could the feminist ideology represent the ugly stepmother?
On social media, it's not unusual for women to be told 'remember who you are. You are priceless. You are the main event. You are the priority always"
It's not easy to navigate for a young woman
Showing vulnerability is frowned upon, and it's very scary for most.
Love this video
I like using fairytales but do wonder about the ugly sisters. In the story, they were physically unattractive, and many entitled women are externally very attractive and sexual.
In the original Cinderella story, it was her real mother and sisters who were jealous of her. Cinderella was supposed to be a cautionary tale for women not to be jealous of their own beautiful and good daughters and sisters. The brothers Grimm changed it to step sisters and step mother to make it more reader friendly, but in doing so they changed the whole meaning of the story.
Could you talk about the book Worthy Woman by Zak Roedde?
Pet peeve: SELF-entitled
Being entitled means you legitimately deserve/have the right to something.
How hard was it to resist openly naming the stepmother "Feminism"?
🎯
Many women are the kind and graceful Cinderella and desire to stay that way. But it is a vulnerable state to constantly be in, if in turn, a man is testing to see how real it is and then later testing if you have a backbone - all in the courting phase. I’m not a zoo animal. Don’t poke me on purpose, I bleed.
Many women fake being the kind and graceful Cinderella until they get what they want: marriage.
Then they become the stepsisters they always were
Maybe stop willfully CHOOSING men that make you think and feel that way. Thats a you problem
Neither did Cinderella have no boundaries nor did the guy test her in an unprovoked manner - that's _you_ spiking the story!
Yeah we have all been abused into testing now. Are you kind really if it feels like a chore though?
Yup, I was emotionally abused by men, including my step father, before getting angry and suspicious of every men :/ in the end we all need to do better
Like the simile.
Men have an option either join the game with a vast army of thirsty guys who lavish attention on very average women or step back and save your time and money.
Original, original Cinderella, the stepsisters were not physically ugly.
Yes, you are right. They were very beautiful and very vain.
Damn. This was my ex-fiancé. She was spoiled and wanted EVERYTHING. Nothing was good enough. I'm fit, successful, thoughtful, caring and a great lover -- and despite that I would not roll over and let her treat me like a beta -- so she packed up and left without a word.
Pump 'em, then dump 'em!
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
Bot, this identical dialog is on all of these channels
Way too slow. This guy is thinks he is too clever by half.
Bro if you’re gonna speak about intelligence at least have the decency to make sense
Men need to better themselves. Not cry about women being mean
Your warped post modernist views are going to leave millions of women , old , broken , & bitter. REAP WHAT YOU SOW
Why wouldn't bettering oneself include rejecting ugly, selfish behaviour?
@@williamtuite1120 Interestingly a lot of these women are old, alone and enjoying life. I remember seeing a post on facebook about a woman in her 70's who lost her husband (he died) and her grandson got her a dog.
There was a comment under the post. "That poor woman, she spent her life looking after her husband, now she has to look after a dog!".
She thought she caught a break after her husband died, but NOPE, her grandson has hoisted a creature onto her that she now has to look after as well. 😐
Thank you, Conor 🫶💪