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Love your content & appreciate it; even more so your authenticity & quirkiness 👑🏆👏 It’s a breath of fresh air & almost always right on the money! Thank you 🙏💚👑
Hello Anna to me I wish you was my lady you're very beautiful you're very honest if I can find a woman like you I'd be so happy you're very attractive❤
@@johnbernardlambe8582 yeah that sounds like the voice of inexperience. Even as the father of the kids, the father should be the woman’s #1 priority. If you aren’t, you’ll be thrown to the curb the second she thinks someone else can do better. Not to mention the fact that the kids eventually leave.
@@jamesbarbour8400 ...or she is a nut-job...or BOTH of them are nut-jobs. If you walk into a minefield and get blown up, it doesn't matter who planted the mine.
As a man that has raised a step child of a single mom, I agree it’s a lot. But not all men see children as a “mess.” I happen to love kids, including my own that I’ve had since then.
That is such a truthful statement. Unless the husband or father passed away during the relationship, there is a reason she is a single mom now. Either she decided to selfishly break up the family to fulfill selfish ambitions, or he was a deadbeat or terrible father/partner, which calls into question her judgement of characters that she is willing to allow to impregnate her. Either way, it's a bad look for her. Better to find a childless woman.
I been dating a single mom. She did not want to be a mother. She neglected her own children. The father has full custody and raises them while she went travelling to different nations and that is where I met her
Single, no kids, financial stable. Living a peaceful and spiritual life. Don't want no dramas from single mamas! Good luck y'all. Anna you're the best! 👍
@@YourWingmam No HIGH-VALUE single man would date a single mum... He has better options in the dating market. He will know his worth and will not want a "Ready-made" family.
I've dated a couple of single moms in the past. The hard truth is that no matter how good the woman is, she's already married to her kids. The best it's going to get is essentially being her side piece with added financial and emotional responsibilities. It's an exceptionally thorny path to walk.
@@RobertFalconer1967 U just not been in real love look @ Goldie Hawn& Kurt Russell, & many others who have made it work & the step kids were delighted & did better in life than either their own father 😉
@@sylviaAguenther-zc9lg Now is not then. If you want to risk a life full of drama and chaos, then by all means get married. “Love” has nothing to do with it.
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ua-cam.com/video/j3pufu8QXnc/v-deo.html 👈
The worst reason to date a single mom with young children. I bonded well with her two boys, 9&7. They didn't know their dad well, never gave them any attention. When it didn't work out with the mom, leaving the boys was heartbreaking for all of us. 32 years ago.
my friends did this too. They turn out liking the children more than the mother. Then the relationship ends when they run out of money and can't afford to keep buying them everything and paying their rent. Now they are in bankruptcy. Protect your heart and your wallet.
The man will never come first in a single mom's life. He will always be behind the kids, the dog, and maybe even the baby's father. We have all the responsibility, but no authority as we are reduced to a wallet.
I tried dating a single mom. Epic fail! I was just being used as an ATM. Her kid was out of control, as was her dog. Add in no loving gestures/ respect, I got out. Dodged a bullet! Never again!
Even women who aren't single moms nowadays love to use men instead of invest in loving them. It's allover the place. Dating is frustrating. They in their stupid mind think that their only role in the relationship is to use the man as ATM and never invest in adding value to quality of his life.
@@markdanielczyk944 hi there, just wanted reach out to thank U for sharing such a difficult experience that U had, but if u ever mentioned this to someone and they didn’t think to express how terrible this must have’d felt like,let me B the first to tell U how sorry I feel for U & what U we’re put through, some people are just awful! These types of women mess it up for all the good 1 out there& vise versa for men🥴😉✌️
Three rules that made life easier. 1. No recent divorces. 2. No kids to raise. 3 A prospective partner must be revenue neutral. At least make as much as they soend.
My opinion based on my life experience: When a woman with no children falls in love with a man, she feels like she will do anything for him. He is the top of her priorities and sometimes will feel that she will die to protect him. When that same woman has a child, the man is still very important, but the child becomes her everything. This is the way of things. Most men aren’t expecting this reduction in attention and affection. Most women fully expect this to happen. Dating a single mom requires a reduction in men’s expectations. These men don’t get the period of time when they are adored as much as they adore the woman they intensely love before the first child is born. If a single mother understands, acknowledges and finds ways to address this issue, she will be able to compete effectively for high value men. Mothers sometimes forget that it may be in her children’s best interest to have a strong, intelligent, stable, caring, and supportive high value man in her life. Finding a way to truthfully let him know that he could be (or is) almost as important to her as her children will go a long way toward compensating for being a single mother. However, she should be sure he truly is worthy of those feelings. Not perfect, just worthy.
@@aquietpatron7281 Well spoken. Finally a person with a good head. Many comments are fools. I’m still single and have experienced of my own in that regard. But I have learnt know that a women’s full attention will change after becoming a mother. And yes even I have to adjust and accept that factor. I will miss out on most of them pre motherhood dates n days. Never thought i would consider a single mum as a potential partner. Now changed. Anyways good insights
@yogi9631 I get that tho. I wouldn't put my children last over some woman trying to date me either. I also don't think I'm ready to trust or date, but that's my problem.
@@aquietpatron7281 Married guy here, and both me and my wife know that our kids are the most important thing in our lives. That said, we still leave time for each other.
Married a woman with 6 children, 3 still at home. By month 5 I knew my place in the scheme of things, being the ATM. By month 7 I moved out. By month 11 the divorce was final.
I don’t think you’re a good guy. Why would you get into that? six kids. Uh huh. Sus af period. Get mad I don’t care you’re the simp whining about being used although you used a single mother.
Not only did I date her for two years, I also married that single mom and we were divorced about a year after the marriage because I was working night shift, she was working day shift and she started hanging out with other men to keep her company. I am not interested in sharing. I should have known better but I was young. The whole reason she was single is because she was divorced from her ex. She blamed him for cheating so she cheated on him to get revenge and when she had her "revenge" sex, she got pregnant so one of her two kids was not from her ex, but she made him pay child support for that kid regardless and even hounded him for back child support. Now that I have more perspective on the situation, she was a despicable person. Never get involved with a woman that is vengeful and spiteful.
When you date a single mom, you should be very well aware that there's a dad out there that likely has less access to his own kids that you have....and he's keeping his eyes on you!
@@YourWingmam indeed. My Cousin with an eleven years old daughter re married last year a single father with a Boy in the same age as her daughter. There are Always single parents that are in a similar position.
and if they do joint Parenting, the child would most likely leak information to the father about Mummys new catch. Not all men like hearing such things
The step dad is there cuz he wants to date the mom. It’s not this heroic action most make it out to be. Especially if he’s seeking to drive a wedge between bio dad and his child. When my mum and step dad split I was like 18 and knew him all along as “dad”, yet he was nowhere to be seen when they split. When I went to his house unannounced he just asked about my mum and that’s it. Haven’t seen him since. I’m 34 lol.
"Not suited for step Fatherhood". If you find yourself in that category, take a deep breath and a victory lap, you have protected your self well. You DON'T have to pay for a womans poor decision making skills. And don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking otherwise.
@@RobertFalconer1967 and how does one know if her account of why is factual or as usual she’s an Angel and guy was bad? Keep in mind women rarely admit that they were wrong and wrecked their own home. Women file around 80% of divorces almost all say he was abusive. They never admit to being the abuser even though large percentage are abusers in the relationship. They rarely ever own up to their mistakes and rarely ever apologize. Good luck to you 😂😂
@@esau93631 Baggage! Is this what Your is kids R gonna be called when you have kids with that 25 year old🥴🤨🤭? just asking! U should really do a emotional check B4U get involved with a single woman and her kids, there R single dads out there too( haven’t u heard of the Brady Bunch) or Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell or Trump & his kids, look at the MoMster & U’ll show how she wants U in her life;Stop dropping the ball; Not just your wallet 🤣😂🤣😂🤭
i've dated single moms in the past and am talking to one now. i have no issue with children, or the time they need. what one girlfriend did to me was invite her ex into her house for him to fix her carpentry because she was more comfortable with him fixing stuff. so if the ex is around, doing stuff, i steer clear of those situations. its not respectful.
I lost my wife in 2012. When I met her she had a daughter. It was tough at first. But it worked out. Still my step daughter comes over and visits me and her step bother. We had a son together and they get along great despite they are 7 years apart. But now as a single But a widower hard to find someone good again. My step daughter just lost her biological dad this year but makes time with us.
@@jacklepisto1082 hi there, I’m sorry for your loss, 💐my condolences. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience it’s exactly what I try to have some men see but some have had such ( haven’t we all)! terrible experiences, that some fly Solo without wanting to try again & believe me I understand,I just hate to see a society of loneliness, it’s awful! Urs has a lovely ending with the kid’s getting along & coming visit U, beautiful 💕🦋🕊️all should B so lucky.✌️😉🤭
"My kids will alwayas come first!" say the dating profiles. I get that, so what are you doing on a dating app? That's essentially saying, "You can pay for everything my little bastards need, but you'd better be content with my not having a minute's time for you!"
My experience with a single mum…. Met a lovely woman who was divorced…. Her ex initiated the divorce…. She was in some sort of denial…. Biggest problem was that she worked beside her ex every day and obviously he was regularly looking after his son…. It seemed to me, that she hoped her ex would come back to her… in the end, we split up….
keep in mind that women initiate 80% of divorces, and usually for no reason. it's very likely that the baby daddy is just victim and she's coming for you next.
The reason for mine was drama was more important to her than people, if that makes sense. I no longer entertained it, which made me expendable. She had the power of the almighty court to kick me out of my house and alienate me from my son. Men have been put in their place. Our children are not ours - they belong to the government.
Most of the time theres reasons why women leave their man, however they just dont know what causes it to turn them off and want to end. They just feel it and builds up over the years until the divorce happens
@@eray9934 Not always, her daughter was 26 but still acted like 17. The mom sometimes acted immature just like the daughter, it was complicated, long story not worth sharing. 🙂
I made the mistake of getting married to a divorced woman with a son. Initially, everything was going well, but her son developed an overwhelming resentment toward me, moving him away from his friends and family. He went out of his way to drive a wedge between his mother and myself. Long story longer, don't put yourself in an emotional and financial situation where the outcome isn't in your favor. Date all you want. Just don't get married, you will regret it. 😠
I married a single MOM. She had a nine-year-old son. We got married in the grand Tetons beautiful snow wedding. She left me 3 1/2 months later basically stating her son was more important.
@@eyeheartsushi2212 of course she didn't say anything beforehand. She wanted the attention and the party. Most women these days just want to be a bride with no interest in being a wife.
I was with a single mom 6 years. I still have PTSD and nightmares to this day. Music helps but it's hard to shake the unfairness, deception, and travesty I experienced from her. You are just the "fox invading her nest".
I have dated two single mothers. It was very rewarding. Though it was not long term. One plus for me was I had more time to do my own thing. Admittedly the children were not in their teens.
Yup happened to me we even shared a bank account. I made 5x more money than her only to feel like shit and never worthy. We’re in a divorce process now. She still on that high horse.
@@GREGSJH13 A recent single mom I talked to for a very brief moment said "I know what I'm worth." as if she was worth high value, but in my mind I couldn't help but think "You are way at the bottom of the dating pool." I didn't want to crush her spirit so I did not say it out loud. We no longer talk because she ended up being toxic, needy, too much baggage, on top of being a single mom.
@@C737xbrjoften divorced men with kids move on very quickly and want a woman who’s already a capable parent. So while single moms may be at the bottom of your pool, they tend to have options and don’t need to lower their standards (not that anybody should). Just clarifying.
Happy Sunday spicy señorita Anna ❤ It's not worth it anymore to me on getting with a single mom. We were together for over 3 years and the relationship ended a few months ago with a single mom. She had emotional baggage, constant problems with her ex-spouse as he was toxic towards her and it affected her mentally and emotionally. I was already being there for her and willing to put up with her problems until she started ghosting me out of nowhere because she felt sad, depressed, etc without communicating with me and I wouldn't her from her for a while. She always play the victim. It was the most demanding, least beneficial relationship speaking of my experience. It was complicated
Thank you for sharing your experience, John. There are definitely a lot more considerations when dating a single mom! Hope your heart is healing, three years is a long time. 💞🫂
Unfortunately, stories like this are the rule, not the exception. At the best of times, a marriage or common law relationship is a bit like skydiving knowing the parachute only has a 50% chance of opening. Dating a single mother is like jumping out of that same airplane knowing the chute only has a 15% chance of opening. Why play those sorts of odds with your life?
Many states have legal terms like “natural parent”, “presumptive father” ,“adjudicated father”, and "acknowledged father". Depending upon your state, there may be financial responsibilities associated with being identified as being in one of those categories. Know the legal and financial risks before becoming involved with any parenting activities. In addition, it is unfortunately true that these days, unfounded accusations can have significant consequences. Make sure you know who you are dealing with before you become involved in a relationship with anyone, especially a single mother.
@@aquietpatron7281 My brother dated a woman for only a few months and ended up getting her pregnant. This woman already had another daughter who was 17 1/2 years old at the time who my brother met only one time. That girl‘s father was also in the picture and up-to-date on his child support payments. after my brother son was born, of course he had to pay child support. The surprise is that he was also required to pay child support for six months for the daughter as well until she turned 18, because it was in the child’s best interest to have child support paid from both her natural father and from my brother. This was in the state of Arizona.
Dating a single mother is the best way to destroy your life. I was stupid enough to marry a single mom, we had a child together. My son (about 14) noted that her list of priorities went grandchild, her child, her career, shopping, the dogs, him and I didn’t seem to matter at all and was given no consideration. The advice I would give myself if I could go back in time would be It is better to be single than date a single mom. If either she made such a bad choice in a mate she wasn’t willing to stay or she was so foul the father of the child wasn’t willing to stay, then she is either selfish and entitled and will not be happy with the next one or she is such a miserable train wreck that she will wreak havoc in your life. Once they have been knocked up, they are bad choice
@@kevindowell6003 you were very important. You just didn’t know it, you were the ATM and the one to take care of all issues to make her life better; and yes you were also lower than the dog but that’s where all men who get involved with a woman with children are placed by her. No surprise there 😁
I dated single moms twice. I was expected to spend less time with my children and prioritize her children. If she wanted me to spend money on her or her kids and I disagreed I was accused of being abusive, no matter how reasonable I was being. I never dated a single mom again. I know not all single moms are like that but it's at least a 50/50 chance and those odds are too risky. It's the same as the "me too" movement. Why take a chance when men are usually assumed guilty.
I married (1st marriage, no kids) a single mom with two boys, the bio father was very much in the picture. I was a provider not a stepfather, 22 years later we are still married, and the boys have their own family and are doing just fine. No family drama. Would I do it again or recommend it to anyone, NO. Single moms need to go find single dads.
Anna, I have been listening to your podcasts for years and they just keep getting better and better. You are always so insightful and full of great information to consider.
A friend once told me that he only dated women with children because he believed they were less likely to be dating or having casual relations with other men due to their limited free time.
I dated my a considerate and loving lady, even although she had a 10-year-old daughter. The bio-dad was a real mental piece of work, so it turned out that I could be close to both of these ladies, growing more attached all the time. We got married and are now coming up on our 45th year. Lots of love and joy. I did the right thing, for sure.
@@CalinGilea That’s not the point. The point is he doing life and not coming home. From there you can get to know her and see if she’s a suitable long term investment.
Watching this video would cause any man to conclude it's not worth it. Having had the experience on a few occasions, yeah, I'm a slow learner sometimes, I can confirm it is not worth it. They are low hanging fruit, though they can be fun. Recreational use only and keep your distance from their daily drama and their kids.
I did too, except I was 19 and she said she was 38...Turns out she was 43 and not completely over her ex baby Daddy. Idgaf, I was in it only to hit it. We lasted maybe two tumultuous years
I almost married a single mom of a sweet little girl, but there was baby daddy involvement. She was quite often phoning him, supposedly about their daughter, but she would talk to him for hours. This made me insecure enough about our budding relationship that I decided to end it. There were a few other factors but this was one of the more prominent red flags. I am happy that it collapsed before we progressed any further than we did.
I am 6 months out of a 12 year engagement with a single mom. I was naive from the outset and ended up in a toxic, emotionally/financially abusive partnership. Fortunately, I took advantage of my time and invested that 12 years into self improvement and came out in my prime.
This video really dives deep into the complexities of dating single mothers. One thing that stood out to me was how confirmation bias can play a huge role in these relationships. I’ve coached someone who, despite the red flags, continued dating a single mother because he focused only on the good moments, convincing himself that things would get better. He ignored the obvious issues like divided attention and baby daddy drama because he wanted to believe he could 'fix' the situation. Your video is a much-needed reality check
I have dated single moms a couple of times, even lived with one once. It usually was a disaster in the end. I was always supportive of the kids, even when I lived with the one. One of my biggest problem was I have never had kids. The main issue with the one I lived with was she never backed me up when it came to discipline. Never, she always backed down as her kids held power over her. With any woman, for me unfortunately, women have always relied on me financially. Which has sucked. I do not allow that anymore. The one key phrase that has stuck as a craw is "... my kids ALWAYS comes first." I understand that. But I have always told them that there has to be a balancing act because if you say the "ILY" words but let the kids control her, then she doesn’t really "ILY". Usually ends after that. Baby/Daddy is an awkward issue. Child support is huge, especially when the both of us are financially strapped & the jerk ex is purposely not paying child support to hurt her. Custody times is another thing. The one that you failed to mention was when the kids go to the father's place for his time, they get dropped off, then a day or two later they call screaming to "...come back to mom." That can can drive a huge wedge in between you. Emotional baggage. Thats a biggie as well. Especially when your lady's ex has left her for another man. Nothing can prepare you for that. I do my dambdest to stay away from women who have children at home anymore these days. In my experience, women of this sort expect and demand that men who come into these relationships are expected to automatically take care of her children. Even though he has had zero exposure or relationship to those children.
It was my experience dating two singles moms that on the priority list, I was behind the kids, their mom, laundry,cleaning the house, the dog and cat. But when money was needed, I rose to the top of the priority list for a day or two.
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ua-cam.com/video/j3pufu8QXnc/v-deo.html 👈
@@YourWingmam it’s like telling men to jump out of airplane because “some”parachutes 🪂 do work. Why would a man of value even bother with than nonsense??? Surely he has better things to do with his life than to raise someone else’s children. Same goes for a woman who had kids out of wedlock. There’s nothing to be gained by a man of value by getting involved in that situation.
Having no kids of my own, I admit I am (or was) totally oblivious to this subject. My last relationship did have that "tug of war" experience to it because of her child. I felt like we couldn't completely develop the intimacy required to have stability going forward. The break up was heartbreaking. I fight and wonder if we should get back together in the future, because I, obviously, still love her. This video put some things into perspective. Thank you for reestablishing my understanding of the hurdles of dating a single mother!
This is a good video. I appreciate how you tell it like it really is when dating a single mom, no sugarcoating. You offer suggestions of what can be done to help alleviate some of the inevitable issues, but make clear the issues will be there and one needs to accept that reality. Also, I understand your rationales why some men would date single moms. However, I believe there is no reason why they should. If the single mom is a widow, the new man will always be living with a ghost, third to her child and the memory of the child's father. If the mom is single through breakup, the child's biological father could be a constant presence in some form and hold more rights and control than the new man even in his own home. A man seeking a relationship should avoid all single moms and save himself pain and drama.
I dated a 28 yo single mom with two young boys when i was 22. We were definitely in love with each other, but i was still too young and not a "high value" man who could provide for her, so i ended things respectfully and have been single for 4 years since.
my mom re-married when she already had 3 kids. and i was a fairly terrible kid. but my stepfather saw through that and loved my mother for 35 odd years until he passed away earlier this year. I have been widowed for 4 years this week, and have only recently healed to a point where i can start (online) dating again. having children is for sure something that i look at, but i know that there can be deep and enduring love being obfuscated by those mini-humans. and that is saying nothing about how different bonds can form between different family members. it's definitely a big decision, but i am not looking to settle because i'm in my 40s. i'm looking for a situation that's best for myself and for my partner, and we all have to contribute to make that happen. I think Anna's comments about 'rewarding' men's behaviour when it comes to not their own kids is super important and aligned with this perspective.
I'm with my GF still after almost 25 years, everything you've pointed out is very relevant, it is humbling to deal with the children of others and your own, you really have to maintain your priorities.
My last girlfriend was a single mother. I’ll never do that again unless I’m a single dad or those kids are in their 30s. Why should I spend my resources to raise another man’s kid ?
I'm recently widowed after 41 years of happy marriage and I took a single mom (a classmate of my youngest son) on a "date" with two of her youngest children (4 kids total), and it was almost impossible to get any good face-to-face time with her. It was nice to see her - she was very attentive to the children, but, obviously, no room or time for me, as you pointed out in your video.
I married a single mother ten years ago; she ended up leaving me at the end of 2020 (fantastic year) and then filing for divorce. In the beginning we made time for each other and I waited until she was ready to introduce me to her daughter, whose dad was in the picture but lived four hours away and would visit for the daughter’s birthday or the daughter would go down for weekend visits every couple of months and around special occasions. At first, my ex-wife went with her and they both stayed at the dad’s house; I eventually said that made me uncomfortable and at age six her daughter was asking to have more one-on-on time with her dad and siblings without her mom there. There were times I worried about not being qualified to be a stepdad; my ex reassured me once that since I was actively in the picture, I was the dad who mattered. But then she would get really weird about me spending time with her daughter while my ex had to be at work. I tried to accommodate that by inviting her to special events that would have been dad-daughter activities, or even setting up times for just the two of them, but it was like my ex got jealous. We ended up having a son in 2016, and my ex essentially abandoned the marriage and started acting like she was a single parent all over again even though I actively participated in family life, and made that a priority. After the divorce was finalized I tried dating, which there are very few women without kids when you’re 40+. I dated one who had zero social life outside her kids or us, had some level of passive income but otherwise no major expenses outside of groceries, gas and clothes for her kids but broke things off because I wasn’t ready to just jump back into marriage less than a year out from my own divorce. She also frequently badmouthed her ex and gave me jealous grief if I assisted my son in doing a kind act for his mother - like getting her flowers when she broke her leg last year. Earlier this year I dated another single mom for a couple of months but that ended because time constraints and responsibilities played havoc with our ability to have date night once every other week.
It's not always a bad situation. The first man my divorced mother dated was a guy that my siblings and I agreed that we didn't like so we let her know. My mother eventually found a good single man with children and they got into a Brady Bunch style family and everybody got along. The first single mother that I dated had a little boy who sat in a high chair at the dinner table and quickly threw a temper tantrum when I joined them for dinner. I got pelted by food even. The same thing happened the next time we sat for dinner as well. I was thinking like "OK little guy, you have made your position about me very clear. I get it". He won.
In general dating a single mom is a bad risk. I tried it and it lasted 5 yrs. They cant just go and do things. Youll always find that your kinda kept on the outside. Even if the kids are older there will be issues. Most of what she says here is pretty accurate. I will say that it is harder to find women with no kids as you get into middle age and beyond. When you're in your twenties, you can exercise your options a little easier, but by the time you reach 40+ Alot of women have kids
I went for a Single Mum for another reason and I bet I'm not the only one! I had a condition called Polycystic Kidney Disease - Genetic. The kidneys slowly stopped working and I ended up having a Transplant. But before that I had a stroke as well.... i love kids and always wanted them but did niot want to pass on my dodgy DNA. So I went for a single mom.
I found the same problems - as a father - dating women without kids. Dating a mom with unruley kids, for me, exposed the same problems in the person I was dating - unfortunate. Maybe Im a bit different, but I like being a parent. If you are not a parent, dating a parent - I can see expectations and priorities becoming a problem. Thanks for the topic Anna!
Typing while watching... A quality woman who is a single mom will by necessity keep her children first. This means that you will get less time with her, dates will be canceled because of home stuff, etc. A single mom who will prioritize you at the expense of her children is a low quality woman. The only way I see it working is when the children are self-sufficient. I have a close friend, single mom, who I have tried to pursue romantically but have given up on in part because her 16(!) year old daughter is very dependent on her. Our time together is limited, phone is regularly ringing, etc.
I FINALLY GOT MARRIED when I was 40 years old. I married an M.D. who put herself through medical school by modeling (she was never married and didn't have any children). My wife is 9 years younger than me. At the time we got married I was making over $500k a year and had never been married. Why would I take on a single mom and have to deal with her baggage? FYI - Neither of us wanted children. Has worked out great.
I dated a single mom… I have learned a few very important lessons. First of all, I told her I was willing to raise her daughter as if she was my own. I also told her my personal position is to never ever disagree in front of the children but if she ever, aside from abuse which I would never do, disagreed with a decision I made to address it with me in private. What I learned: She will go into mama bear mode and defy you right in front of her child or children. It will leave a sting of resentment that, as a man, is extremely difficult to overcome. Worse yet, it immediately destroys the authoritative frame you need to hold to successfully discipline the child. The child now looks at you as a divided front. Second: The expectations are high, the return is low. She does expect you to participate and contribute to her child’s wellbeing. She is quick to blame you for missing something due to other obligations. Even though you make this sacrifice to try and be present in this child’s life, there is little appreciation for your willingness to contribute in this way. I never did anything expecting something in return. There are a few things I did expect as a man, respect, appreciation, and kindness. No matter how much I did, I would still hear, “You don’t do anything for us.” To which I’d respond, “Excuse me, of the helpful things I’ve attempted to do for you this week, what additional thing is it that you would’ve liked me to do?” I could probably write a book on all of the things I learned. One topic would be how a man feels having to even see some other man who was intimate with the woman you are interested in interacting with her and knowing because of the child she is required to do so. It’s not fun. The main theme I’ve seen is single moms do not appreciate or respect the man enough to make him a priority. In a good marriage, one that I saw in my parents who are still together all these years later, the husband and wife know that it’s important to put priority on each other because if the kids see a healthy relationship they’ll benefit in the long run. So part of ‘priority’ should be teaching your kids how to have a healthy relationship, not conveniently keeping the man at bay and calling on him when needed with little gratitude. Sad to say ladies, I know it’s not all of you, I’m not willing to ever date a single mom again.
I think it can be fine if you both have kids. But as a man with no kids, it’s too frustrating to date a single mother. I’ve tried to give it a chance but it’s impossible. They can’t do anything, there is no courting process because they can only be free for a couple hours at a time. Plus her priorities will always be to someone who you have no relation to. If a man has a choice between a single mother vs a woman with 0 baggage, I can’t think of a single reason why not to go with 0 baggage.
19 years ago my current girlfriend had a child with her now ex partner, they called the child John. The child has Asperger's which is a form of Autism. It is my view that this child has been groomed by social media and his peer group. He suddenly declared himself trans and wants to go all the way. My girlfriend now calls her child Sarah and 'she' and 'her' and 'my daughter' because in just 18 months, she has lost her grip on reality. Her son's trans 'claims' forced her into a decision. Stay in reality and lose your child or the opposite. I remain grounded in reality, very unhappy and very much against trans ideology as I see and feel the critical damage it is doing.
as a single father, I prefer dating women who have had children, as they are generally more mature and less selfish and self-interested. They can think about more than just themselves.
This point may be valid but it does not negate any of the points made by Anna nor the commenters here. I heard it said that women who never had children become ‘pickled’ slowly in their minds. I believe there is some truth in it. The point still does not negate all the downsides of dating single mothers.
A possible issue for men is the fear that love and romance will suffer when dating a mom. One possibility is fake love to better provide for her children, not real love. Another possibility is that there might be insufficient romantic commitment to the man which allows the problems you mention. No one wants to feel second-rate. A real romantic relationship can overcome many obstacles, so everyone must be clear-eyed about the relationship.
I have dated a couple of single moms. I have found it is important to have dates with the child at least some of the time is more important than solo dates. If she is looking for marriage, it is equally important to spend time with her and her kids as you form a future family. I love kids and want a future family and they are an equal part of the deal. I am still searching but I have great memories and experiences to prepare me for when I have kids in my future. Memphis, Tennessee is a great place to meet new people.
Being raised around developmentally disabled isn't the reason your reason for your quirky sense of humor. It's the reason you show an abundance of kindness,empathy and paitents for other people I married a woman with 3 kids Never not once had I any regrets They taught me more than I taught them. I enjoyed and loved them. They accepted me when they didn't have to. I'm proud of the people they became. They gave me grandchildren. No it wasn't always easy. Life rarely is. I never felt slighted. I couldn't respect a woman who chose me over her kids And issue we ever had was between their mother and I. My cheap advice is, if you don't think you should date a woman with kids,you shouldn't. Because you need to go all in
I dated a single mom shortly after I separated from my ex. We both have 2 kids of similar ages. We had fun got along well and both understood the dynamics and challenges of having kids while seeing someone new. It was new and fun and a drastic change after having been with the ex for 15+ years. One negative issue that presented was the difference in communication style between former partners. I was married while she had not been to her children's dad and he wasn't around. At that time I was still in nearly daily contact with my ex primarily around kid stuff. She stated that I wasn't over my ex which was true the separation was new and not my idea, even though I was very unhappy in that marriage. We don't see each other romantically anymore but I'm glad to have had a positive first experience post marriage.
To me the issue with dating a single mom is that you will probably get attached to the kid as well. Meaning you will loose two people who mean alot to you if it doesn't work out. Another one is the fact that when I start to text with someone I want to meet up within a week. Because I don't want it to fade out and I want to get to know a person, not a wall of text on a screen. I really just don't want to loose momentum. My ex was a single mom but we had been friends since before and her kids knew me and liked me. So we didn't really have the issue with finding time to hang out. Also, people in dating apps who write something like "my kids will always come first" is a big ick to me. I understand that she needs to prioritize her kids but it's just something about the energy that icks me
In a normal marriage, the marriage comes first, then the kids. When the kids are grown and move out, what you have left is your marriage. Why should it be any different when it’s a single mom? I dated one single mother, daughter was 26 with a mind of a 13 year old. Daughter thought the world revolved around her and the mom would just enable it. “My daughter wants this, I can’t afford it, can you pay for it?” Luckily, I know how to say no and mean it. I would responded with “I’m not your daughter’s ATM, tell her to ask her loser boyfriend to pay for it.”
The woman im dating is a single mom and I told her this about how a healthy relationship between the adults is actually supposed to come first and it’s counterintuitive but the best thing that can be done for the kids. She actually took it really well. On top of that, I’ve never felt neglected, not once. If anything, I’m the one requesting a little less time with her 😅. We’re very early into dating and she’s coming on a little strong. As far as single moms go, she doesn’t have any of the typical red flags that most people talk about.
Thanks Anna, Years ago, I've had relationships with a few single women, and I confirm everything you say, the good and the not so good. At the time, I was a single dad myself, with three children 😄 All this necessarily complicates the relationship, but doesn't make it impossible. In that sense, it's better to have a list of the difficulties you may encounter. Thank you for your suggestions on how to lessen the burden and consequences on the relationship, for both men and women. All in all, an excellent video, as usual 🙂
If you are single, and swimming in the single mother/father pool you're gonna get hurt. if you do you could be oblivious, or naive to the realities of raising children, and all the baggage that comes with it. Ask yourself if it's better to be lonely, or involved in a losing proposition. You're better off dating other singles without children.
This is not a contentious topic at all. It’s very simple: No self - respecting man wants to get involved in a situation where he has to deal with a random baby daddy and a child that is not his. Period.
I dated a single mom with three young girls. We all hit it off and she and I married. Things went well for a number of years. Then she hooked up with an old boyfriend and ended up leaving me after 12 years. The best thing I got out of it was the three girls. They still love me and call me Dad because their daddy chose to not be in the picture. But, it was hard. It is not an easy task. Most men can't do it. Most men shouldn't try. There's too much damage that can result. It sort of worked for me and it obviously didn't in the end. Final thought, it takes a special kind of person to take that on. Don't do it. Still, I have no regrets because I have 3 more daughters because of it even 7 years later.
I started dating a single mom four years ago, has a daughter from the guy before me. I let her lure me out of my own bachelor pad and gave away most of my own stuff to go be with her and be a father figure to her then-toddler. We then went on to have a child together, a boy. Last year, right around our son’s 2nd birthday, she sent me packing and my life got uprooted and had to find my own apartment again with barely anything of my own to make my new place comfortable and functional. I get my boy on weekends and that’s all really I look forward to anymore these days. Also really sucks for the daughter that introduced me to parenting and has already experienced a father taken out of the picture (though that guy is actually no good, even made a threat against me once before even meeting me).
I dated a single mom, 2 kids with 2 different dads. She had a big heart but also had a history of substance abuse, no question it had an effect on her personality and choices. Unstable decision making. Very complex lifestyle and priority given to scheduling with baby daddies, made it impossible for a man looking to be exclusive in a household. I avoided becoming #3.
Another difficulty with dating a single mother or parent is the possibility of having children together. More for childless partners that actually had the discussion with their other half. I've seen and experienced the outcome where you're left with just being a stepparent.
Of all the videos on UA-cam that talk about this, you have the best one because it shows reasons and maturity. All others are just petty “redpoll” mindsets that are just immature. Thanks again.
I’ve had a group of women at work attempting to push me to be with a single mother. She has been divorced. Red Flag 🚩 She has 2 grown children and 1 still lives at home and she is hot. Double 🚩. She is still busy taking care of them and her ailing father. Not necessarily any red flags there. She finally started to work on herself. That’s a good thing. However, I’m not attracted to her. I’ve been single. No relationship in years. I’m picky. Most of these modern women turn me off. I found a younger woman that I liked/like, but she wants things I cannot currently provide. I’m working on that, but there is a major red flag for both women: they do not believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I know a lot of you out there aren’t gonna like that I said this. I don’t care! This is literally the most important thing to me. 😢I’m sad that even the women in most church buildings don’t seem to live up to the standard here. If the women in church are really who they claim to be, then all of you on the outside might be more willing to return to church. Maybe you should just show up anyway! It would definitely improve the situation if you just showed up.
I hope you enjoyed my video, "Single Mom Issues That Keep High-Value Men Away!"
Watch this dating advice video next, " Warning, Dude! 5 Things You MUST Know BEFORE Dating a SINGLE MOM! ⚠" 👉 ua-cam.com/video/I3ZmAJ2HN7c/v-deo.htmlsi=zGOnjNX7N0kyE21D
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Love is the answer, people! Don’t give up. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. HOPE. God loves you and so do I! You got this.
Love your content & appreciate it; even more so your authenticity & quirkiness 👑🏆👏 It’s a breath of fresh air & almost always right on the money! Thank you 🙏💚👑
It was deleted what !!!
Yes for people who know what love is!
@@YourWingmam thank you
Hello Anna to me I wish you was my lady you're very beautiful you're very honest if I can find a woman like you I'd be so happy you're very attractive❤
Speaking from experience, single moms will expect you to make her your top priority while you will NEVER be her top priority.
Thank you for sharing your experience!
Correct, it's about survival of her genetics. She can't help it.
Well ... yeah! I wouldn't date a mother whose children were NOT her top priority.
Spot on 🎯
@@johnbernardlambe8582 yeah that sounds like the voice of inexperience. Even as the father of the kids, the father should be the woman’s #1 priority. If you aren’t, you’ll be thrown to the curb the second she thinks someone else can do better. Not to mention the fact that the kids eventually leave.
Dating a single mom is the biggest mistake a man can make.
It's better to be alone than to deal with some other mans' mess.
Sounds like you’ve got some stories to tell 🫤
And the ex boyfriend/husband may well be a nut job, hence their split in the first place.
@@jamesbarbour8400 ...or she is a nut-job...or BOTH of them are nut-jobs. If you walk into a minefield and get blown up, it doesn't matter who planted the mine.
As a man that has raised a step child of a single mom, I agree it’s a lot. But not all men see children as a “mess.” I happen to love kids, including my own that I’ve had since then.
@@evilution7 You Sir ROCK!!!
"You are not dating a single mom. You are dating a broken family."
Saw that comment on another creator's video and it always stuck with me.
Wow…. That’s some facts
That is such a truthful statement. Unless the husband or father passed away during the relationship, there is a reason she is a single mom now. Either she decided to selfishly break up the family to fulfill selfish ambitions, or he was a deadbeat or terrible father/partner, which calls into question her judgement of characters that she is willing to allow to impregnate her. Either way, it's a bad look for her. Better to find a childless woman.
That hits hard there.
The single mom that left her husband basically is saying she wants a mulligan… with you. How about you go and finish the family you started?
I been dating a single mom. She did not want to be a mother. She neglected her own children. The father has full custody and raises them while she went travelling to different nations and that is where I met her
Single, no kids, financial stable. Living a peaceful and spiritual life. Don't want no dramas from single mamas! Good luck y'all. Anna you're the best! 👍
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
@@YourWingmam No HIGH-VALUE single man would date a single mum... He has better options in the dating market. He will know his worth and will not want a "Ready-made" family.
Single mamas are a total drama, In exchange for so little..... No thank you.
You are a high value man in my pov!
@@tino2a366 You need to step upto stepdad hood
I've dated a couple of single moms in the past. The hard truth is that no matter how good the woman is, she's already married to her kids. The best it's going to get is essentially being her side piece with added financial and emotional responsibilities. It's an exceptionally thorny path to walk.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Which is why it's best avoided at all costs.
@@RobertFalconer1967 U just not been in real love look @ Goldie Hawn& Kurt Russell, & many others who have made it work & the step kids were delighted & did better in life than either their own father 😉
@@sylviaAguenther-zc9lg Now is not then. If you want to risk a life full of drama and chaos, then by all means get married. “Love” has nothing to do with it.
Thanks for explaining precisely why to avoid them
Single mom? Run Forest, run!
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ua-cam.com/video/j3pufu8QXnc/v-deo.html 👈
ok Jenny I will take care of the other man's baby, derp.
@@YourWingmam single moms don't want relationships they WANT help
Dating a single mom is gotta be the stupidest thing a man can do!!
The worst reason to date a single mom with young children. I bonded well with her two boys, 9&7. They didn't know their dad well, never gave them any attention. When it didn't work out with the mom, leaving the boys was heartbreaking for all of us. 32 years ago.
Yes, that’s so true, too! Great point, big hug. :(
my friends did this too. They turn out liking the children more than the mother. Then the relationship ends when they run out of money and can't afford to keep buying them everything and paying their rent. Now they are in bankruptcy. Protect your heart and your wallet.
similar for me.... they really don't care if you built a bond they just pull the plug & will act like you didnt exist no matter how generous
The man will never come first in a single mom's life. He will always be behind the kids, the dog, and maybe even the baby's father. We have all the responsibility, but no authority as we are reduced to a wallet.
And he will be on the curb if he runs out of $
I tried dating a single mom. Epic fail! I was just being used as an ATM. Her kid was out of control, as was her dog. Add in no loving gestures/ respect, I got out. Dodged a bullet! Never again!
Smart move.
@@markdanielczyk944 did we date thesame woman
Even women who aren't single moms nowadays love to use men instead of invest in loving them. It's allover the place. Dating is frustrating. They in their stupid mind think that their only role in the relationship is to use the man as ATM and never invest in adding value to quality of his life.
@@olzzon😂
@@markdanielczyk944 hi there, just wanted reach out to thank U for sharing such a difficult experience that U had, but if u ever mentioned this to someone and they didn’t think to express how terrible this must have’d felt like,let me B the first to tell U how sorry I feel for U & what U we’re put through, some people are just awful! These types of women mess it up for all the good 1 out there& vise versa for men🥴😉✌️
Three rules that made life easier. 1. No recent divorces. 2. No kids to raise. 3 A prospective partner must be revenue neutral. At least make as much as they soend.
All men need to understand that women's children will always be their number one priority!!!
My opinion based on my life experience:
When a woman with no children falls in love with a man, she feels like she will do anything for him. He is the top of her priorities and sometimes will feel that she will die to protect him.
When that same woman has a child, the man is still very important, but the child becomes her everything. This is the way of things.
Most men aren’t expecting this reduction in attention and affection. Most women fully expect this to happen.
Dating a single mom requires a reduction in men’s expectations. These men don’t get the period of time when they are adored as much as they adore the woman they intensely love before the first child is born.
If a single mother understands, acknowledges and finds ways to address this issue, she will be able to compete effectively for high value men. Mothers sometimes forget that it may be in her children’s best interest to have a strong, intelligent, stable, caring, and supportive high value man in her life. Finding a way to truthfully let him know that he could be (or is) almost as important to her as her children will go a long way toward compensating for being a single mother. However, she should be sure he truly is worthy of those feelings. Not perfect, just worthy.
@@aquietpatron7281 Well spoken. Finally a person with a good head. Many comments are fools.
I’m still single and have experienced of my own in that regard. But I have learnt know that a women’s full attention will change after becoming a mother. And yes even I have to adjust and accept that factor. I will miss out on most of them pre motherhood dates n days.
Never thought i would consider a single mum as a potential partner. Now changed.
Anyways good insights
@yogi9631 I get that tho. I wouldn't put my children last over some woman trying to date me either.
I also don't think I'm ready to trust or date, but that's my problem.
@@aquietpatron7281 Married guy here, and both me and my wife know that our kids are the most important thing in our lives. That said, we still leave time for each other.
@@yogi9631 Don't do it. I - and a lot of other men - speak from experience.
I tried it for 6 years and I'll never do it again. I honestly went into it expecting nothing to go wrong. Boy was I wrong lol.
" I honestly went into it expecting nothing to go wrong"
@@esau93631 Insults are a surefire sign of weakness and insecurity. I pity what your life must look like
I wont even do it for 6 minutes.
Married a woman with 6 children, 3 still at home. By month 5 I knew my place in the scheme of things, being the ATM. By month 7 I moved out. By month 11 the divorce was final.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
You need therapy…
I don’t think you’re a good guy. Why would you get into that? six kids. Uh huh. Sus af period. Get mad I don’t care you’re the simp whining about being used although you used a single mother.
@@DivestedConfessions don't give a damn what you think
@@ssing7113 no, I needed a divorce
Not only did I date her for two years, I also married that single mom and we were divorced about a year after the marriage because I was working night shift, she was working day shift and she started hanging out with other men to keep her company. I am not interested in sharing. I should have known better but I was young. The whole reason she was single is because she was divorced from her ex. She blamed him for cheating so she cheated on him to get revenge and when she had her "revenge" sex, she got pregnant so one of her two kids was not from her ex, but she made him pay child support for that kid regardless and even hounded him for back child support. Now that I have more perspective on the situation, she was a despicable person. Never get involved with a woman that is vengeful and spiteful.
When you date a single mom, you should be very well aware that there's a dad out there that likely has less access to his own kids that you have....and he's keeping his eyes on you!
Great point!
@@YourWingmam indeed. My Cousin with an eleven years old daughter re married last year a single father with a Boy in the same age as her daughter. There are Always single parents that are in a similar position.
and if they do joint Parenting, the child would most likely leak information to the father about Mummys new catch. Not all men like hearing such things
The step dad is there cuz he wants to date the mom. It’s not this heroic action most make it out to be. Especially if he’s seeking to drive a wedge between bio dad and his child. When my mum and step dad split I was like 18 and knew him all along as “dad”, yet he was nowhere to be seen when they split. When I went to his house unannounced he just asked about my mum and that’s it. Haven’t seen him since. I’m 34 lol.
@@bluewizzard8843 i dont see how what you wrote refers to op?
"Not suited for step Fatherhood". If you find yourself in that category, take a deep breath and a victory lap, you have protected your self well. You DON'T have to pay for a womans poor decision making skills. And don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking otherwise.
@@nickf2170 hi there,I agree same goes for that single father’s poor choice in his mating& pro creating partners🫡
Seeing how she interacts with her kids can provide significant insight into who she is
Most definitely!
Determining WHY she ended up a single mother in the first place provides far more significant insight into who she is.
@@RobertFalconer1967 and how does one know if her account of why is factual or as usual she’s an Angel and guy was bad? Keep in mind women rarely admit that they were wrong and wrecked their own home. Women file around 80% of divorces almost all say he was abusive. They never admit to being the abuser even though large percentage are abusers in the relationship. They rarely ever own up to their mistakes and rarely ever apologize. Good luck to you 😂😂
Single moms-make me laugh-had fun with the bad boy,then expects the “nice” guy to take them on-don’t do it guys,you’re worth more than
Yeah they are the ones that will try to shame a 45 year old guy for dating a 25 year old with no baggage
@@esau93631 Baggage! Is this what Your is kids R gonna be called when you have kids with that 25 year old🥴🤨🤭? just asking!
U should really do a emotional check B4U get involved with a single woman and her kids, there R single dads out there too( haven’t u heard of the Brady Bunch) or Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell or Trump & his kids, look at the MoMster & U’ll show how she wants U in her life;Stop dropping the ball; Not just your wallet 🤣😂🤣😂🤭
i've dated single moms in the past and am talking to one now. i have no issue with children, or the time they need. what one girlfriend did to me was invite her ex into her house for him to fix her carpentry because she was more comfortable with him fixing stuff. so if the ex is around, doing stuff, i steer clear of those situations. its not respectful.
Excellent tip!
I already raised my daughter, don't know if i really want to put energy and time into raising someone else's child.
Know thy self, honour thy self ✔️
I lost my wife in 2012. When I met her she had a daughter. It was tough at first. But it worked out. Still my step daughter comes over and visits me and her step bother. We had a son together and they get along great despite they are 7 years apart. But now as a single But a widower hard to find someone good again. My step daughter just lost her biological dad this year but makes time with us.
@@jacklepisto1082 hi there, I’m sorry for your loss, 💐my condolences. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience it’s exactly what I try to have some men see but some have had such ( haven’t we all)! terrible experiences, that some fly Solo without wanting to try again & believe me I understand,I just hate to see a society of loneliness, it’s awful! Urs has a lovely ending with the kid’s getting along & coming visit U, beautiful 💕🦋🕊️all should B so lucky.✌️😉🤭
I just hope there are someone good out there. Everyone should have someone in their lives.
Beautiful that you have that connection with the Daughter... I'm certain she has qualities in her that you saw in the Mother... Condolence's
@@peterlattimore6013 Hi there so well stated! Thanks for the nice reply to such a lovely, honest man🤭✌️
"My kids will alwayas come first!" say the dating profiles. I get that, so what are you doing on a dating app? That's essentially saying, "You can pay for everything my little bastards need, but you'd better be content with my not having a minute's time for you!"
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
My experience with a single mum…. Met a lovely woman who was divorced…. Her ex initiated the divorce…. She was in some sort of denial…. Biggest problem was that she worked beside her ex every day and obviously he was regularly looking after his son…. It seemed to me, that she hoped her ex would come back to her… in the end, we split up….
keep in mind that women initiate 80% of divorces, and usually for no reason. it's very likely that the baby daddy is just victim and she's coming for you next.
Sadly, this is true most especially in the lower socioeconomic classes.
If she's college educated, that number jumps to 90%
The reason for mine was drama was more important to her than people, if that makes sense. I no longer entertained it, which made me expendable. She had the power of the almighty court to kick me out of my house and alienate me from my son. Men have been put in their place. Our children are not ours - they belong to the government.
Learn from sucker #1 so you do not become sucker #2......
Most of the time theres reasons why women leave their man, however they just dont know what causes it to turn them off and want to end. They just feel it and builds up over the years until the divorce happens
I dated a single mother with 3 grown up kids. It was a horrible. Will never make that mistake again. I learned a lot in such a short time.
Should be easier once they are grown and on their own, no?
@@eray9934 Not always, her daughter was 26 but still acted like 17. The mom sometimes acted immature just like the daughter, it was complicated, long story not worth sharing. 🙂
@@eray9934 LOL..... Some of you guys.... SMH
@@armandodelacruz3794 I wonder why the daughter acted that way?...... Hmmmmm.... who raised her? That should be clue #1
@@esau93631 Exactly, I ignored many red flags, I was dumb 7 years ago. Now I know.
I made the mistake of getting married to a divorced woman with a son. Initially, everything was going well, but her son developed an overwhelming resentment toward me, moving him away from his friends and family. He went out of his way to drive a wedge between his mother and myself. Long story longer, don't put yourself in an emotional and financial situation where the outcome isn't in your favor. Date all you want. Just don't get married, you will regret it. 😠
I married a single MOM. She had a nine-year-old son. We got married in the grand Tetons beautiful snow wedding. She left me 3 1/2 months later basically stating her son was more important.
haha...sucker
but thanks for sharing to warn other men so your sacrifice will not be completely in vain
Duh, it's called a son husband
She couldn’t have told you that BEFORE the wedding? At least it was over quick. Bonus: I bet you don’t have to pay anything.
@@eyeheartsushi2212 of course she didn't say anything beforehand. She wanted the attention and the party. Most women these days just want to be a bride with no interest in being a wife.
@@mafiaseargent Yeah I thought about adding “maybe she just wanted a wedding?” to my comment but held back. The man dodged a bullet.
I was with a single mom 6 years. I still have PTSD and nightmares to this day. Music helps but it's hard to shake the unfairness, deception, and travesty I experienced from her. You are just the "fox invading her nest".
@@adamlapinski7590 wow 6 years is quite some time
Dating a single mother is one thing. Taking on her kids & spending a huge amount of time, money & effort on them is something else & is very foolish.
It’s a package deal for sure
@@YourWingmam It is if you live together.
I have dated two single mothers. It was very rewarding. Though it was not long term. One plus for me was I had more time to do my own thing. Admittedly the children were not in their teens.
Yup happened to me we even shared a bank account. I made 5x more money than her only to feel like shit and never worthy. We’re in a divorce process now. She still on that high horse.
Generally, not advisable. You will never be number one in her world. If you are number one ,then she doesn't care about her kids.
Exactly
its rare that you will come before the baby daddy
It’s basically a dead end road either way!
@@ARDYSS23 mostly...
@@shaolinotter It's rare that you will come before the dog.
There’s so many of them that honestly I have zero interest in them. They also don’t seem to realize that their dating market value is different now.
@@GREGSJH13 A recent single mom I talked to for a very brief moment said "I know what I'm worth." as if she was worth high value, but in my mind I couldn't help but think "You are way at the bottom of the dating pool." I didn't want to crush her spirit so I did not say it out loud. We no longer talk because she ended up being toxic, needy, too much baggage, on top of being a single mom.
Yeah very delusional
@@C737xbrjoften divorced men with kids move on very quickly and want a woman who’s already a capable parent. So while single moms may be at the bottom of your pool, they tend to have options and don’t need to lower their standards (not that anybody should). Just clarifying.
Happy Sunday spicy señorita Anna ❤ It's not worth it anymore to me on getting with a single mom. We were together for over 3 years and the relationship ended a few months ago with a single mom. She had emotional baggage, constant problems with her ex-spouse as he was toxic towards her and it affected her mentally and emotionally. I was already being there for her and willing to put up with her problems until she started ghosting me out of nowhere because she felt sad, depressed, etc without communicating with me and I wouldn't her from her for a while. She always play the victim. It was the most demanding, least beneficial relationship speaking of my experience. It was complicated
Thank you for sharing your experience, John. There are definitely a lot more considerations when dating a single mom! Hope your heart is healing, three years is a long time. 💞🫂
I'll heal with time and thanks spicy señorita Anna 💝🤗
Unfortunately, stories like this are the rule, not the exception. At the best of times, a marriage or common law relationship is a bit like skydiving knowing the parachute only has a 50% chance of opening. Dating a single mother is like jumping out of that same airplane knowing the chute only has a 15% chance of opening. Why play those sorts of odds with your life?
Many states have legal terms like “natural parent”, “presumptive father” ,“adjudicated father”, and "acknowledged father".
Depending upon your state, there may be financial responsibilities associated with being identified as being in one of those categories. Know the legal and financial risks before becoming involved with any parenting activities. In addition, it is unfortunately true that these days, unfounded accusations can have significant consequences. Make sure you know who you are dealing with before you become involved in a relationship with anyone, especially a single mother.
@@aquietpatron7281 My brother dated a woman for only a few months and ended up getting her pregnant. This woman already had another daughter who was 17 1/2 years old at the time who my brother met only one time. That girl‘s father was also in the picture and up-to-date on his child support payments. after my brother son was born, of course he had to pay child support. The surprise is that he was also required to pay child support for six months for the daughter as well until she turned 18, because it was in the child’s best interest to have child support paid from both her natural father and from my brother. This was in the state of Arizona.
@@aquietpatron7281
There's a big difference between a single mom and a widow.
Bad judgement vs victim of circumstance
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Dating a single mother is the best way to destroy your life. I was stupid enough to marry a single mom, we had a child together. My son (about 14) noted that her list of priorities went grandchild, her child, her career, shopping, the dogs, him and I didn’t seem to matter at all and was given no consideration. The advice I would give myself if I could go back in time would be It is better to be single than date a single mom. If either she made such a bad choice in a mate she wasn’t willing to stay or she was so foul the father of the child wasn’t willing to stay, then she is either selfish and entitled and will not be happy with the next one or she is such a miserable train wreck that she will wreak havoc in your life. Once they have been knocked up, they are bad choice
@@kevindowell6003 you were very important. You just didn’t know it, you were the ATM and the one to take care of all issues to make her life better; and yes you were also lower than the dog but that’s where all men who get involved with a woman with children are placed by her. No surprise there 😁
I dated single moms twice. I was expected to spend less time with my children and prioritize her children. If she wanted me to spend money on her or her kids and I disagreed I was accused of being abusive, no matter how reasonable I was being. I never dated a single mom again. I know not all single moms are like that but it's at least a 50/50 chance and those odds are too risky. It's the same as the "me too" movement. Why take a chance when men are usually assumed guilty.
slow learner
I married (1st marriage, no kids) a single mom with two boys, the bio father was very much in the picture. I was a provider not a stepfather, 22 years later we are still married, and the boys have their own family and are doing just fine. No family drama.
Would I do it again or recommend it to anyone, NO. Single moms need to go find single dads.
@@user-wm2tw Spotted the simp.
This is just sad. Sorry you never got out
That single mom got to really special. As a man, I would think it is best to avoid it.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Anna, I have been listening to your podcasts for years and they just keep getting better and better. You are always so insightful and full of great information to consider.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
A friend once told me that he only dated women with children because he believed they were less likely to be dating or having casual relations with other men due to their limited free time.
Your friend is a delusional idiot
Good perspective but it still comes at a price
Yeah I agree.
@@RickMoraOriginal 😂😂😂😂 you guys are so so naive!!! 😂😂😂
bad logic
I dated my a considerate and loving lady, even although she had a 10-year-old daughter. The bio-dad was a real mental piece of work, so it turned out that I could be close to both of these ladies, growing more attached all the time. We got married and are now coming up on our 45th year. Lots of love and joy. I did the right thing, for sure.
Unless she’s a widow or her hubby is doing life behind bars, walk away.
If shes married to a man "doing life"
That sounds like a major RED flag
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate hearing from you 🙏
Even then, don’t do it. Why would you involve yourself with a woman who has been married with a convict?
@@CalinGilea That’s not the point. The point is he doing life and not coming home. From there you can get to know her and see if she’s a suitable long term investment.
@@capncrush6729 I would assume she dissolved the marriage. I would have to see verification first
Watching this video would cause any man to conclude it's not worth it.
Having had the experience on a few occasions, yeah, I'm a slow learner sometimes, I can confirm it is not worth it.
They are low hanging fruit, though they can be fun.
Recreational use only and keep your distance from their daily drama and their kids.
I dated a single mom whilst in my 20's (now 74) and the biggest problem was her ex-husband...we didn't last as a couple.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I did too, except I was 19 and she said she was 38...Turns out she was 43 and not completely over her ex baby Daddy. Idgaf, I was in it only to hit it. We lasted maybe two tumultuous years
I almost married a single mom of a sweet little girl, but there was baby daddy involvement. She was quite often phoning him, supposedly about their daughter, but she would talk to him for hours. This made me insecure enough about our budding relationship that I decided to end it. There were a few other factors but this was one of the more prominent red flags. I am happy that it collapsed before we progressed any further than we did.
I am 6 months out of a 12 year engagement with a single mom. I was naive from the outset and ended up in a toxic, emotionally/financially abusive partnership. Fortunately, I took advantage of my time and invested that 12 years into self improvement and came out in my prime.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
This video really dives deep into the complexities of dating single mothers. One thing that stood out to me was how confirmation bias can play a huge role in these relationships. I’ve coached someone who, despite the red flags, continued dating a single mother because he focused only on the good moments, convincing himself that things would get better. He ignored the obvious issues like divided attention and baby daddy drama because he wanted to believe he could 'fix' the situation. Your video is a much-needed reality check
Glad I could help 🙏
I have dated single moms a couple of times, even lived with one once. It usually was a disaster in the end. I was always supportive of the kids, even when I lived with the one. One of my biggest problem was I have never had kids. The main issue with the one I lived with was she never backed me up when it came to discipline. Never, she always backed down as her kids held power over her. With any woman, for me unfortunately, women have always relied on me financially. Which has sucked. I do not allow that anymore.
The one key phrase that has stuck as a craw is "... my kids ALWAYS comes first." I understand that. But I have always told them that there has to be a balancing act because if you say the "ILY" words but let the kids control her, then she doesn’t really "ILY". Usually ends after that.
Baby/Daddy is an awkward issue. Child support is huge, especially when the both of us are financially strapped & the jerk ex is purposely not paying child support to hurt her. Custody times is another thing. The one that you failed to mention was when the kids go to the father's place for his time, they get dropped off, then a day or two later they call screaming to "...come back to mom." That can can drive a huge wedge in between you.
Emotional baggage. Thats a biggie as well. Especially when your lady's ex has left her for another man. Nothing can prepare you for that.
I do my dambdest to stay away from women who have children at home anymore these days. In my experience, women of this sort expect and demand that men who come into these relationships are expected to automatically take care of her children. Even though he has had zero exposure or relationship to those children.
Wonderful extra insights, thank you!
It was my experience dating two singles moms that on the priority list, I was behind the kids, their mom, laundry,cleaning the house, the dog and cat. But when money was needed, I rose to the top of the priority list for a day or two.
Life is too short to be a stepdad
Not all single mothers are to be avoided. There are some single mothers you might want to consider dating. Check out my video on the types of single moms you might want to consider dating here 👉 ua-cam.com/video/j3pufu8QXnc/v-deo.html 👈
@@YourWingmam it’s like telling men to jump out of airplane because “some”parachutes 🪂 do work. Why would a man of value even bother with than nonsense??? Surely he has better things to do with his life than to raise someone else’s children. Same goes for a woman who had kids out of wedlock. There’s nothing to be gained by a man of value by getting involved in that situation.
Having no kids of my own, I admit I am (or was) totally oblivious to this subject. My last relationship did have that "tug of war" experience to it because of her child. I felt like we couldn't completely develop the intimacy required to have stability going forward. The break up was heartbreaking. I fight and wonder if we should get back together in the future, because I, obviously, still love her. This video put some things into perspective. Thank you for reestablishing my understanding of the hurdles of dating a single mother!
I dated a single mom for seven years until she just decided she didn't want a relationship with me. It's really not worth it.
This is a good video. I appreciate how you tell it like it really is when dating a single mom, no sugarcoating. You offer suggestions of what can be done to help alleviate some of the inevitable issues, but make clear the issues will be there and one needs to accept that reality. Also, I understand your rationales why some men would date single moms. However, I believe there is no reason why they should. If the single mom is a widow, the new man will always be living with a ghost, third to her child and the memory of the child's father. If the mom is single through breakup, the child's biological father could be a constant presence in some form and hold more rights and control than the new man even in his own home. A man seeking a relationship should avoid all single moms and save himself pain and drama.
I dated a 28 yo single mom with two young boys when i was 22. We were definitely in love with each other, but i was still too young and not a "high value" man who could provide for her, so i ended things respectfully and have been single for 4 years since.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
my mom re-married when she already had 3 kids. and i was a fairly terrible kid. but my stepfather saw through that and loved my mother for 35 odd years until he passed away earlier this year. I have been widowed for 4 years this week, and have only recently healed to a point where i can start (online) dating again. having children is for sure something that i look at, but i know that there can be deep and enduring love being obfuscated by those mini-humans. and that is saying nothing about how different bonds can form between different family members.
it's definitely a big decision, but i am not looking to settle because i'm in my 40s. i'm looking for a situation that's best for myself and for my partner, and we all have to contribute to make that happen. I think Anna's comments about 'rewarding' men's behaviour when it comes to not their own kids is super important and aligned with this perspective.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I'm with my GF still after almost 25 years, everything you've pointed out is very relevant, it is humbling to deal with the children of others and your own, you really have to maintain your priorities.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
My last girlfriend was a single mother. I’ll never do that again unless I’m a single dad or those kids are in their 30s. Why should I spend my resources to raise another man’s kid ?
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Good to learn this lesson early. The cuckold relationship is a real thing.
What it takes to be high value, is the understanding we set an example for our children and mold the future generations by our influence
I'm recently widowed after 41 years of happy marriage and I took a single mom (a classmate of my youngest son) on a "date" with two of her youngest children (4 kids total), and it was almost impossible to get any good face-to-face time with her. It was nice to see her - she was very attentive to the children, but, obviously, no room or time for me, as you pointed out in your video.
Thank you for sharing your experience!
I married a single mother ten years ago; she ended up leaving me at the end of 2020 (fantastic year) and then filing for divorce. In the beginning we made time for each other and I waited until she was ready to introduce me to her daughter, whose dad was in the picture but lived four hours away and would visit for the daughter’s birthday or the daughter would go down for weekend visits every couple of months and around special occasions. At first, my ex-wife went with her and they both stayed at the dad’s house; I eventually said that made me uncomfortable and at age six her daughter was asking to have more one-on-on time with her dad and siblings without her mom there.
There were times I worried about not being qualified to be a stepdad; my ex reassured me once that since I was actively in the picture, I was the dad who mattered. But then she would get really weird about me spending time with her daughter while my ex had to be at work. I tried to accommodate that by inviting her to special events that would have been dad-daughter activities, or even setting up times for just the two of them, but it was like my ex got jealous.
We ended up having a son in 2016, and my ex essentially abandoned the marriage and started acting like she was a single parent all over again even though I actively participated in family life, and made that a priority.
After the divorce was finalized I tried dating, which there are very few women without kids when you’re 40+. I dated one who had zero social life outside her kids or us, had some level of passive income but otherwise no major expenses outside of groceries, gas and clothes for her kids but broke things off because I wasn’t ready to just jump back into marriage less than a year out from my own divorce. She also frequently badmouthed her ex and gave me jealous grief if I assisted my son in doing a kind act for his mother - like getting her flowers when she broke her leg last year. Earlier this year I dated another single mom for a couple of months but that ended because time constraints and responsibilities played havoc with our ability to have date night once every other week.
It's not always a bad situation. The first man my divorced mother dated was a guy that my siblings and I agreed that we didn't like so we let her know. My mother eventually found a good single man with children and they got into a Brady Bunch style family and everybody got along. The first single mother that I dated had a little boy who sat in a high chair at the dinner table and quickly threw a temper tantrum when I joined them for dinner. I got pelted by food even. The same thing happened the next time we sat for dinner as well. I was thinking like "OK little guy, you have made your position about me very clear. I get it". He won.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
In general dating a single mom is a bad risk. I tried it and it lasted 5 yrs. They cant just go and do things. Youll always find that your kinda kept on the outside. Even if the kids are older there will be issues. Most of what she says here is pretty accurate. I will say that it is harder to find women with no kids as you get into middle age and beyond. When you're in your twenties, you can exercise your options a little easier, but by the time you reach 40+ Alot of women have kids
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
As always, great, helpful content Anna. IMO, dating a single Mother is usually so emotionally taxing that it is not worth doing.
I went for a Single Mum for another reason and I bet I'm not the only one! I had a condition called Polycystic Kidney Disease - Genetic. The kidneys slowly stopped working and I ended up having a Transplant. But before that I had a stroke as well.... i love kids and always wanted them but did niot want to pass on my dodgy DNA. So I went for a single mom.
Amazing! Thank you for sharing your story! And glad you’re still here!
Wow, mad respect
I found the same problems - as a father - dating women without kids. Dating a mom with unruley kids, for me, exposed the same problems in the person I was dating - unfortunate. Maybe Im a bit different, but I like being a parent. If you are not a parent, dating a parent - I can see expectations and priorities becoming a problem. Thanks for the topic Anna!
I'm happy this has been helpful to you. Don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
Typing while watching...
A quality woman who is a single mom will by necessity keep her children first. This means that you will get less time with her, dates will be canceled because of home stuff, etc.
A single mom who will prioritize you at the expense of her children is a low quality woman.
The only way I see it working is when the children are self-sufficient.
I have a close friend, single mom, who I have tried to pursue romantically but have given up on in part because her 16(!) year old daughter is very dependent on her. Our time together is limited, phone is regularly ringing, etc.
Absolutely! And there’s no guarantee how long her daughter will be dependent, it can vary greatly.
This is most fair and thoughtfully laid out advice for dating single moms. Good job
I FINALLY GOT MARRIED when I was 40 years old. I married an M.D. who put herself through medical school by modeling (she was never married and didn't have any children). My wife is 9 years younger than me. At the time we got married I was making over $500k a year and had never been married. Why would I take on a single mom and have to deal with her baggage? FYI - Neither of us wanted children. Has worked out great.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
I dated a single mom…
I have learned a few very important lessons.
First of all, I told her I was willing to raise her daughter as if she was my own. I also told her my personal position is to never ever disagree in front of the children but if she ever, aside from abuse which I would never do, disagreed with a decision I made to address it with me in private.
What I learned: She will go into mama bear mode and defy you right in front of her child or children. It will leave a sting of resentment that, as a man, is extremely difficult to overcome. Worse yet, it immediately destroys the authoritative frame you need to hold to successfully discipline the child. The child now looks at you as a divided front.
Second: The expectations are high, the return is low.
She does expect you to participate and contribute to her child’s wellbeing. She is quick to blame you for missing something due to other obligations. Even though you make this sacrifice to try and be present in this child’s life, there is little appreciation for your willingness to contribute in this way.
I never did anything expecting something in return. There are a few things I did expect as a man, respect, appreciation, and kindness. No matter how much I did, I would still hear, “You don’t do anything for us.” To which I’d respond, “Excuse me, of the helpful things I’ve attempted to do for you this week, what additional thing is it that you would’ve liked me to do?”
I could probably write a book on all of the things I learned. One topic would be how a man feels having to even see some other man who was intimate with the woman you are interested in interacting with her and knowing because of the child she is required to do so. It’s not fun.
The main theme I’ve seen is single moms do not appreciate or respect the man enough to make him a priority. In a good marriage, one that I saw in my parents who are still together all these years later, the husband and wife know that it’s important to put priority on each other because if the kids see a healthy relationship they’ll benefit in the long run. So part of ‘priority’ should be teaching your kids how to have a healthy relationship, not conveniently keeping the man at bay and calling on him when needed with little gratitude.
Sad to say ladies, I know it’s not all of you, I’m not willing to ever date a single mom again.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Because even if the baby daddy hasn’t been in the pic for years, he always comes back around eventually and she will talk to him behind your back.
Most definitely!
I think it can be fine if you both have kids. But as a man with no kids, it’s too frustrating to date a single mother. I’ve tried to give it a chance but it’s impossible. They can’t do anything, there is no courting process because they can only be free for a couple hours at a time.
Plus her priorities will always be to someone who you have no relation to. If a man has a choice between a single mother vs a woman with 0 baggage, I can’t think of a single reason why not to go with 0 baggage.
19 years ago my current girlfriend had a child with her now ex partner, they called the child John.
The child has Asperger's which is a form of Autism. It is my view that this child has been groomed by social media and his peer group. He suddenly declared himself trans and wants to go all the way.
My girlfriend now calls her child Sarah and 'she' and 'her' and 'my daughter' because in just 18 months, she has lost her grip on reality. Her son's trans 'claims' forced her into a decision. Stay in reality and lose your child or the opposite.
I remain grounded in reality, very unhappy and very much against trans ideology as I see and feel the critical damage it is doing.
I dated a single mom VERY briefly, and got out FAST. She was FURIOUS, as if that fury would make me change my mind. Shudder!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
as a single father, I prefer dating women who have had children, as they are generally more mature and less selfish and self-interested. They can think about more than just themselves.
This point may be valid but it does not negate any of the points made by Anna nor the commenters here.
I heard it said that women who never had children become ‘pickled’ slowly in their minds. I believe there is some truth in it. The point still does not negate all the downsides of dating single mothers.
A possible issue for men is the fear that love and romance will suffer when dating a mom. One possibility is fake love to better provide for her children, not real love. Another possibility is that there might be insufficient romantic commitment to the man which allows the problems you mention. No one wants to feel second-rate. A real romantic relationship can overcome many obstacles, so everyone must be clear-eyed about the relationship.
The main reason for me is baby daddy drama.
I have dated a couple of single moms. I have found it is important to have dates with the child at least some of the time is more important than solo dates. If she is looking for marriage, it is equally important to spend time with her and her kids as you form a future family. I love kids and want a future family and they are an equal part of the deal. I am still searching but I have great memories and experiences to prepare me for when I have kids in my future. Memphis, Tennessee is a great place to meet new people.
Being raised around developmentally disabled isn't the reason your reason for your quirky sense of humor.
It's the reason you show an abundance of kindness,empathy and paitents for other people
I married a woman with 3 kids
Never not once had I any regrets
They taught me more than I taught them. I enjoyed and loved them. They accepted me when they didn't have to.
I'm proud of the people they became. They gave me grandchildren.
No it wasn't always easy. Life rarely is.
I never felt slighted. I couldn't respect a woman who chose me over her kids
And issue we ever had was between their mother and I.
My cheap advice is, if you don't think you should date a woman with kids,you shouldn't. Because you need to go all in
You Sir r Wise and Blessed a hundred Attaboys👍🔨🔨🔨✌️👍
@jeffrylawrence6183 thanks Friend.
I dated a single mom shortly after I separated from my ex. We both have 2 kids of similar ages. We had fun got along well and both understood the dynamics and challenges of having kids while seeing someone new. It was new and fun and a drastic change after having been with the ex for 15+ years. One negative issue that presented was the difference in communication style between former partners. I was married while she had not been to her children's dad and he wasn't around. At that time I was still in nearly daily contact with my ex primarily around kid stuff.
She stated that I wasn't over my ex which was true the separation was
new and not my idea, even though I was very unhappy in that marriage. We don't see each other romantically anymore but I'm glad to have had a positive first experience post marriage.
Reading the comments…. Oof so few good experiences. Not none but few
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
To me the issue with dating a single mom is that you will probably get attached to the kid as well. Meaning you will loose two people who mean alot to you if it doesn't work out.
Another one is the fact that when I start to text with someone I want to meet up within a week. Because I don't want it to fade out and I want to get to know a person, not a wall of text on a screen. I really just don't want to loose momentum. My ex was a single mom but we had been friends since before and her kids knew me and liked me. So we didn't really have the issue with finding time to hang out.
Also, people in dating apps who write something like "my kids will always come first" is a big ick to me.
I understand that she needs to prioritize her kids but it's just something about the energy that icks me
In a normal marriage, the marriage comes first, then the kids. When the kids are grown and move out, what you have left is your marriage. Why should it be any different when it’s a single mom?
I dated one single mother, daughter was 26 with a mind of a 13 year old. Daughter thought the world revolved around her and the mom would just enable it. “My daughter wants this, I can’t afford it, can you pay for it?” Luckily, I know how to say no and mean it. I would responded with “I’m not your daughter’s ATM, tell her to ask her loser boyfriend to pay for it.”
The woman im dating is a single mom and I told her this about how a healthy relationship between the adults is actually supposed to come first and it’s counterintuitive but the best thing that can be done for the kids. She actually took it really well. On top of that, I’ve never felt neglected, not once. If anything, I’m the one requesting a little less time with her 😅. We’re very early into dating and she’s coming on a little strong. As far as single moms go, she doesn’t have any of the typical red flags that most people talk about.
Thanks Anna,
Years ago, I've had relationships with a few single women, and I confirm everything you say, the good and the not so good. At the time, I was a single dad myself, with three children 😄
All this necessarily complicates the relationship, but doesn't make it impossible. In that sense, it's better to have a list of the difficulties you may encounter.
Thank you for your suggestions on how to lessen the burden and consequences on the relationship, for both men and women.
All in all, an excellent video, as usual 🙂
If you are single, and swimming in the single mother/father pool you're gonna get hurt. if you do you could be oblivious, or naive to the realities of raising children, and all the baggage that comes with it. Ask yourself if it's better to be lonely, or involved in a losing proposition. You're better off dating other singles without children.
This is not a contentious topic at all. It’s very simple: No self - respecting man wants to get involved in a situation where he has to deal with a random baby daddy and a child that is not his. Period.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
This is the most balanced video I have stumbled across regarding this topic.
Bravo
❤️ 🙂 Thank you!
You can Skip this clip. Just Don’t do it. All risk, zero reward.
Do you also agree with the bit about why some men date single women?
@@YourWingmamNOPE
Zero reward? I don't think so.....
@@YourWingmam I do, and those reasons (most of them anyway..) have disastrous results as well.......
I dated a single mom with three young girls. We all hit it off and she and I married. Things went well for a number of years. Then she hooked up with an old boyfriend and ended up leaving me after 12 years. The best thing I got out of it was the three girls. They still love me and call me Dad because their daddy chose to not be in the picture. But, it was hard. It is not an easy task. Most men can't do it. Most men shouldn't try. There's too much damage that can result. It sort of worked for me and it obviously didn't in the end. Final thought, it takes a special kind of person to take that on. Don't do it. Still, I have no regrets because I have 3 more daughters because of it even 7 years later.
The breakup is gonna be brutal when theres a kid YOU MAY HELP RAISE involved that you will lose 100% access to
❤️ 🙏
The list of benefits for men in dating single moms
.
Lol
Your list is too long.
I started dating a single mom four years ago, has a daughter from the guy before me. I let her lure me out of my own bachelor pad and gave away most of my own stuff to go be with her and be a father figure to her then-toddler. We then went on to have a child together, a boy. Last year, right around our son’s 2nd birthday, she sent me packing and my life got uprooted and had to find my own apartment again with barely anything of my own to make my new place comfortable and functional. I get my boy on weekends and that’s all really I look forward to anymore these days. Also really sucks for the daughter that introduced me to parenting and has already experienced a father taken out of the picture (though that guy is actually no good, even made a threat against me once before even meeting me).
I dated a single mom, 2 kids with 2 different dads. She had a big heart but also had a history of substance abuse, no question it had an effect on her personality and choices. Unstable decision making. Very complex lifestyle and priority given to scheduling with baby daddies, made it impossible for a man looking to be exclusive in a household. I avoided becoming #3.
Another difficulty with dating a single mother or parent is the possibility of having children together. More for childless partners that actually had the discussion with their other half. I've seen and experienced the outcome where you're left with just being a stepparent.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
#10 Step Dads have NO legal rights over "their" children!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback 🙏
Of all the videos on UA-cam that talk about this, you have the best one because it shows reasons and maturity. All others are just petty “redpoll” mindsets that are just immature.
Thanks again.
I divorced when I was 40 in 2002. I haven’t touched a woman since then.
Excellent advice Anna. Advice single men don't get anywhere else. Single moms could certainly benefit from your advice here as well.
I’ve had a group of women at work attempting to push me to be with a single mother. She has been divorced. Red Flag 🚩 She has 2 grown children and 1 still lives at home and she is hot. Double 🚩. She is still busy taking care of them and her ailing father. Not necessarily any red flags there. She finally started to work on herself. That’s a good thing. However, I’m not attracted to her. I’ve been single. No relationship in years. I’m picky. Most of these modern women turn me off. I found a younger woman that I liked/like, but she wants things I cannot currently provide. I’m working on that, but there is a major red flag for both women: they do not believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I know a lot of you out there aren’t gonna like that I said this. I don’t care! This is literally the most important thing to me. 😢I’m sad that even the women in most church buildings don’t seem to live up to the standard here. If the women in church are really who they claim to be, then all of you on the outside might be more willing to return to church. Maybe you should just show up anyway! It would definitely improve the situation if you just showed up.
I pray that you receive the woman who is truly best for you, the woman God has for you 🙏