"Why can't I remember your face?" As a former captain of the Project Hubris British-American Space Station, I find this line of questioning very insensitive.
And you may find yourself...lost in the eyes of a pig. And you may find yourself...eating Pop-Tarts in a graveyard. And you may ask yourself..."Could an elderly woman lift a Tampa school bus?" And you may ask yourself..."Who watches the watchman? Who milks the milkman?" And you may ask yourself..."Well, 0:36?"
Oh man, I remember the commercials for this! I always wanted to watch it back when I was a kid, but my parents made me go to bed right after Crumbly Pipes ended. Kept saying "it will give you nightmares" and "you've eaten enough ghosts for one day, young man".
“Who milks the milkman” is one of the silliest and funniest things I’ve heard in a long time. I’m going to strive to use it in conversation more, although I don’t know how
"Why can't I remember your face?" is so desperately haunting. I only noticed it on second viewing. Wait, was it even in there the first time I watched? Was it even the first time I watched? Or have I always been watching this?
No joke - one time a pig made eye contact with me as it peered out from behind the slats of a slaughter truck while my car passed it on the highway. They were bright blue, like mine. I swear it knew where it was going. It's been years and I haven't eaten pork since.
I grew up on a working hog farm and can attest that when we were essentially force-marching them into trucks to be hauled off for slaughter, they knew exactly what was going on. Pigs are by far the most intelligent species that humans mass-produce for meat consumption.
Oh man. Seeing Boston Chandelier in my feed definitely brings back late night cable TV evenings from my childhood. Thanks for resurrecting this footage.
I used to love watching reruns of this when I got home from school as a kid!! I was starting to think I made it up since nobody ever remembered it when I brought it up. So amazing to see some footage again!
I always assumed that one day Riker was going to realise he was in a malfunctioning holodeck program and try and get out. Second weirdest Next Gen episode ever. (You know... The evolution one! *Shudder*)
@@AndrewD8RedNow you are just mocking those poor mice. They can't shrug back, they can't wear backpacks and they can't ever get a pat on the shoulder...you should be ashamed of yourself 😂
Aaaand another one of "ABKs sketches that are so spot on in less than 2 minutes it intrigues you enough you want it to be expanded into a full length movie or a TV series"
@@QuantumHistorian That wasn't what I meant, though there _is_ a non-zero chance that my wife and I share a common ancestor as recently as the Acadian Expulsion. Which would make us something along the lines of ninth cousins if I've done the math right. We're childfree so inbreeding isn't a worry, anyhow.
Oh my goodness, I love it. I had the creepiest dream last night where there was a recording that someone had made, 30seconds long. It lasted for 2 minutes, it lasted for 17 minutes. Then the person turned to me, 4th wall breaking as their tooth grew..."good job no one listens to the end.." This had those vibes, thanks! 😂
Oh my gosh, it's really distressing to finally learn that the TV doesn't have programs on it, it has a little man standing in a room who's trapped in the TV and in the room and doing his TV dance over and over until the heat death of the universe. No-thank-you very much Alasdair Beckett-King for informing us of this, you've crushed my dreams.
I love, love LOVE this genre of videos. This goes on the same golden shelf as Brian David Gilbert's "You can be your own boss" video. Alasdair, you are magnificent and very skilled!
This is one I'm gonna be rewatching as much as The Birds without the Birds and Scandinavian Crime Drama. An instant classic! (And putting "cursed video" in the title almost guarantees viralness. Genius!)
Now you know what happened to all those nineties anthology TV hosts when their shows got cancelled. Trapped forever in the shadowy low-res hellscape that exists between late night rerun slots, slowly going mad. Jonathon Frakes was lucky to make it out with his mind intact... and even he sometimes questions what's fact or fiction...
This may be one of the top 3 - 5 videos you've ever done. My ONLY disappointment - and it's significant! - is that we did NOT learn Who Milks the Milkman... and I fear that, as a result, my days of restful sleep have come to an end. By the way... I nearly sprayed my coffee when the "Boston Chandelier" card came up! Too Retro for words!
Mysterious Mysteries of the Unexplained, a long running series alongside Tales of the Circumspect and Tales of the Circumcised... though that last series was sadly cut short.
Petition for ABK to make a _Mysterious Mysteries of the Unexplainable with Boston Chandelier_ Blu-ray. Indiegogo, Kickstarter or something else entirely, I'd support it all the way, either way.
This video now makes me think that the Jonathan Frakes tv show (which name I have forgotten) was just riker trapped in some weird alien of the week trap
"Who milks the milkman" feels like the real continuation of the watchman saying, like how "Is better than the master of one" is the continuation of the jack of all trades rhyme.
Okay, gotta be honest: ABK, you're just like Jordan Peele. You're both terrific with comedy. But perhaps you should try your hand at horror as well? 'Coz you were very effectively creeping me out halfway through this sketch. 😮👍👍😀
I propose making "I'm so hungry I could eat a ghost" a new colloquialism.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely yes.
That sounds quite paraNormal to me...
When this comment blows up, I want to be among the first to reply!
Look up the Skylander called Ghost Roaster. He was way ahead of the curve.
Releasing this almost as far as possible from Halloween in either direction is genius.
That makes me wish he'd waited until Walpurgisnacht - it would be seasonally appropriate
All that means is it's halloween on the other side of the planet.
Don't think about this too much
@@leow.2162 Hold on, I think you're onto something
Usually you are so spot-on, ABK, but if you're going to be a Jonathan Frakes, you have to put one leg up on something every time you stand still.
Good thing he didn't try to sit in any chairs. I'm not sure he could handle the Technique.
@@robertwagstaff1126 Ah, The Classic Riker's Maneuver.
I’m not entirely convinced this character has any legs
His legs are two uninterrupted pink cylinders
I just feel bad for him since he does that due to a bad back
"Who milks the milkman?" Hey, now, what the milkman is into is none of our business.
He wasn't judging, just asking who else was involved. Probably for some kind of record-keeping, I expect.
The milkman's cousin, of course
Where do you think the milk comes from?
@@brainlock72 They probably just think it just magically appears in supermarkets. No one these days appreciates what milkman go through
@@brainlock72 They probably just think it just magically appears in supermarkets. No one these days appreciates what milkmen go through
Well, I did once get lost, and there was a pig there at the time, but whether the pig noticed me and considered me to be lost I couldn't say.
A cop once looked at me with such disdain it was clear that he thought I was beyond help. I was lost in the eyes of that pig.
Where and when and how were you lost, yes.
That story could make a good UA-cam video
Maybe write a graphic novel about it.
We are all lost. Sooo lost....
"Why can't I remember your face?"
As a former captain of the Project Hubris British-American Space Station, I find this line of questioning very insensitive.
Could God create a ghost so delicious even he couldn't resist eating it?
At last, someone asking the important questions.
Could god create a pig so ordinary that even he couldn't get lost in its eyes?
Ghost on the Shelf, Strawberry
And you may find yourself...lost in the eyes of a pig.
And you may find yourself...eating Pop-Tarts in a graveyard.
And you may ask yourself..."Could an elderly woman lift a Tampa school bus?"
And you may ask yourself..."Who watches the watchman? Who milks the milkman?"
And you may ask yourself..."Well, 0:36?"
my thot exactly!
Oh God, as soon as I read the first "And you may find yourself" I started singing ONCE IN A LIFETIME....😄
Not bad at all.
I'm with a local paper and just wanted to ask you, "How does it feel to have won the comments section today?"
Letting the days go by....
i don't remember jonathan frakes being this ginger
Another mystery!
This reminded me of the show too. 😂
It's pure fabrication 😉
It's a wig
He wasn't. They made it up.
"Alasdair Beckett-King asks you things for about a minute but it gets increasingly existential"
I love the sound cue at “have you ever looked at your cousin and thought ‘maybe’ 🤔”
There's so many ways this could be interpreted
That sound cue is most often used in Japanese malls and train stations for their P.A. system from what I recall.
Would
Fanny Price has entered the chat 😂
And so has Karen Smith 😂😂😂.
We're not even blood related.
I love that even though this is a parody, this is actually less unhinged than the compilations made of the actual show
Oh man, I remember the commercials for this! I always wanted to watch it back when I was a kid, but my parents made me go to bed right after Crumbly Pipes ended. Kept saying "it will give you nightmares" and "you've eaten enough ghosts for one day, young man".
Bwa-hah-hah!! Brill!
It’s the long awaited sequel to the cult internet phenomenon: “Jonathan Frakes asks you things”
Jonathan Frakes questions his reality
I used to watch Jonathan Frakes ask me stuff on TV.
“Who milks the milkman” is one of the silliest and funniest things I’ve heard in a long time.
I’m going to strive to use it in conversation more, although I don’t know how
it has the same vibe as "who shit my pants?"
"Why can't I remember your face?" is so desperately haunting. I only noticed it on second viewing. Wait, was it even in there the first time I watched? Was it even the first time I watched? Or have I always been watching this?
No joke - one time a pig made eye contact with me as it peered out from behind the slats of a slaughter truck while my car passed it on the highway. They were bright blue, like mine. I swear it knew where it was going. It's been years and I haven't eaten pork since.
thank you.
Bright blue, you say? Seems like someone gave that pork spice a little early
I grew up on a working hog farm and can attest that when we were essentially force-marching them into trucks to be hauled off for slaughter, they knew exactly what was going on. Pigs are by far the most intelligent species that humans mass-produce for meat consumption.
Don't worry. I've been eating twice as much to make up for it
@@MurasakiTsukimaru as long as you're aware your right to complain of your misfortune is void by means of retroactive karmic punishment lol
Amazing.
I feel like ghosts would taste like when you inhale foaming face wash.
Yeah, but... staler.
I think eating a ghost would be like eating Peeps.
It would be an ectoplasmatic experience with a lot of slime involved in the process.
@@saalkz.a.9715 See? Just like eating Peeps!
Foam cream.
Oh man. Seeing Boston Chandelier in my feed definitely brings back late night cable TV evenings from my childhood. Thanks for resurrecting this footage.
Love it! You channeled Jonathan Frakes like an edible ghost.
I imagine ghosts taste like dusty marshmallows.
I used to love watching reruns of this when I got home from school as a kid!! I was starting to think I made it up since nobody ever remembered it when I brought it up. So amazing to see some footage again!
"Nope."
"Not this time."
"We made it up."
Never send to know for whom milks the milkman, for he milks thee.
That's a pretty impressive Jonathan Frakes impression for someone not from north America. Much better than I could do.
I always assumed that one day Riker was going to realise he was in a malfunctioning holodeck program and try and get out. Second weirdest Next Gen episode ever. (You know... The evolution one! *Shudder*)
Are we pretending that Code of Honor didn't happen?
Isn't the evolution one Voyager, though?
@@eugenielegrand8590 That's the one where Janeway and Paris have babies, right? (Baby newts.)
Have you ever noticed that mice have no shoulders?
Don't be ridiculous, how could they wear back packs?
And yet they get dandruff.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 They obviously need Head & No Shoulders shampoo
Mice have no shoulders! What do you think about that???
Me: *_shrugs_*
@@AndrewD8RedNow you are just mocking those poor mice.
They can't shrug back, they can't wear backpacks and they can't ever get a pat on the shoulder...you should be ashamed of yourself 😂
Great. Now I’m hungry for a ghost. Thanks a lot!
It's just a light snack! 😅
Aaaand another one of "ABKs sketches that are so spot on in less than 2 minutes it intrigues you enough you want it to be expanded into a full length movie or a TV series"
That was even more out-of-nowhere, yet relatable, than your usual fare. Bravo, ABK!
What... what bit do you relate to? Was it the line about cousins?
@@QuantumHistorian That wasn't what I meant, though there _is_ a non-zero chance that my wife and I share a common ancestor as recently as the Acadian Expulsion. Which would make us something along the lines of ninth cousins if I've done the math right. We're childfree so inbreeding isn't a worry, anyhow.
The "who milks the milkman" line, I assume
Discount Black Lodge. I actually wouldn't mind being trapped there for 25 years. The blue curtains are very soothing compared to the red curtains.
Instead of making an evil clone of you it just forces you to play mildly annoying pranks on your friends and family against your will
It's the blue lodge
....Where we're from, the gingers sing a pretty song, and there are always weird questions in the air....
Oh my goodness, I love it.
I had the creepiest dream last night where there was a recording that someone had made, 30seconds long. It lasted for 2 minutes, it lasted for 17 minutes. Then the person turned to me, 4th wall breaking as their tooth grew..."good job no one listens to the end.."
This had those vibes, thanks! 😂
re ghost eating - don't drive after strong spirits
I definitely recall watching an uncursed version of this in the past, but I can seem to only remember this version.
Mix of humor and existential horror is my kind of entertainment!
If you haven't yet, you should check out the fiction podcast Welcome to Night Vale. It's right up your alley.
"nope. not this time. we made it up. totally fabricated. no."
-Jonathan Frakes
Oh my gosh, it's really distressing to finally learn that the TV doesn't have programs on it, it has a little man standing in a room who's trapped in the TV and in the room and doing his TV dance over and over until the heat death of the universe. No-thank-you very much Alasdair Beckett-King for informing us of this, you've crushed my dreams.
Nah, only until the TV gets crushed, very much like dreams.
Idk what side of youtube I have stumbled upon, but I'm happy with it, confused, but happy.
You make an excellent Jonathan Frakes
I love, love LOVE this genre of videos. This goes on the same golden shelf as Brian David Gilbert's "You can be your own boss" video. Alasdair, you are magnificent and very skilled!
This is one I'm gonna be rewatching as much as The Birds without the Birds and Scandinavian Crime Drama. An instant classic! (And putting "cursed video" in the title almost guarantees viralness. Genius!)
The Twin Peaks reboot we didn't know we needed.
Now you know what happened to all those nineties anthology TV hosts when their shows got cancelled. Trapped forever in the shadowy low-res hellscape that exists between late night rerun slots, slowly going mad. Jonathon Frakes was lucky to make it out with his mind intact... and even he sometimes questions what's fact or fiction...
I think we've finally figured out what happened to Darles Nemeni. (I miss the Darly Boxman show...)
Somebody had too much coffee and stayed up all night watching Beyond Belief and playing Alan Wake
After all this years, Every Single Scandinavian Crime Drama still is the best.
New Twin Peaks spin-off looks awesome.
This may be one of the top 3 - 5 videos you've ever done. My ONLY disappointment - and it's significant! - is that we did NOT learn Who Milks the Milkman... and I fear that, as a result, my days of restful sleep have come to an end.
By the way... I nearly sprayed my coffee when the "Boston Chandelier" card came up! Too Retro for words!
We know that the milkman milks everyone who does not milk themselves, though. So we have that going for us.
@@BrooksMoses "That which does not milk us, only makes us more lactose intolerant" - Nietzsche
I absolutely LOVE the Twin Peaks touch.
Mysterious Mysteries of the Unexplained, a long running series alongside Tales of the Circumspect and Tales of the Circumcised... though that last series was sadly cut short.
booo
Petition for ABK to make a _Mysterious Mysteries of the Unexplainable with Boston Chandelier_ Blu-ray. Indiegogo, Kickstarter or something else entirely, I'd support it all the way, either way.
This is exactly what I hope is behind the Scary Door
"who milkes the milkman?". Me. I do.
Gay
Gay
i really wanna be a milkman rn
@@Peacefrogs3854 Gay
Mystery unraveling
Beyond Belief, Twin Peaks, AND existential horror? Fantastic!
This man clearly ate Jonathan Frakes's ghost.
The alien one was basically two different Doctor Who plotlines.
The thumbnail alone had me lose it. It's impossible for this video to disappoint because it already exceeded expectations before I pressed play.
The set is like an alternate-universe version of the Black Lodge. I dig it.
It’s the Blue Lodge.
“Who lays the Eggman?” (John Lennon, 1968)
This humor should be classified as a scheduled drug...addictive, but worth it.
The twist is everyone was dead the whole time.
I feel like I called the ringlight-as-horror thing as soon as they came out but you really got right up in there with it, good vid
This video now makes me think that the Jonathan Frakes tv show (which name I have forgotten) was just riker trapped in some weird alien of the week trap
Man, that is a really good Frakes impression.
Also this video has big Jim Henson's "The Cube" vibes
My problem is that I now no longer know if ABK actually owns a bowtie or if they're all masterfully done CG. It's beyond belief it is
"Have you ever looked at a cousin and thought "Maybe"?"
George Michael Bluth sweating like crazy rn
That's it: Aliens are shadows! Our shadows are aliens!
Fantastic writing and production as always! Thanks!
I milk the milkman... I'm also the milkman
The milkman milks all those who do not milk themselves.
The thumbnail alone was worth it.
Now I want a tshirt that says "Who milks the milkman?"! Time to sell merch, mister! 😅
I LOVE how this is a perfect mix of those "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction" edits crossed with the "Televoid" web series.
This was exactly what I needed today.
As always, spot on. I live for the day this man tours the US
Incomprehensible, thanks ABK!
"Who milks the milkman" feels like the real continuation of the watchman saying, like how "Is better than the master of one" is the continuation of the jack of all trades rhyme.
There are many things great about this but I am most delighted by the presenter's name being 'boston chandelier '. That's such an S-Tier comedy name!
My new favorite SCP.
'Who milks the milkman.' Very thought provoking, almost Zen.
sincerely best video I've seen from you.
Brilliant, might be the best one yet!
0:55 how I feel at work most days
Man i spent a couple hours thinking about the aliens are there but always standing behind you line.
This is probably my favorite out of the whole lot.
I love the parodying of Beyond Belief, I started watching it recently and this is spot on XD
This video is cursed (internet slang sense) and also cursed (supernatural sense).
Mom: "We have Jonathan Frakes at home"
Jonathan Frakes at home:
You are way much better than any other English lesson I took.
Send this to Jonathan Frakes NOW. 😂
Wonderful! Man-made horrors beyond my comprehension!
Okay, gotta be honest: ABK, you're just like Jordan Peele. You're both terrific with comedy. But perhaps you should try your hand at horror as well? 'Coz you were very effectively creeping me out halfway through this sketch. 😮👍👍😀
No, but I've lost myself in your hair.
Lovely skit as always sir, but let's face it. You're no Johnathan Frakes.
Gingerthan Frakes
Ginger Flakes? Witches potion reagent or tasty cereal, you decide!
Still slightly disappointed there wasn't a Talking Heads bit. Have you ever found yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile?
The sequel to Event Horizon I didn't know I needed.
Great stuff, as usual!
This one was very Jordan-Peely. Loved it
Now I’m imagining Jonathan Frakes asking “have you ever found a fish in a percolator?”
Imagine being controlled like a puppet doing meaningless stuff and only regaining control for a few minutes each day.
Gingers do have souls! And they go inside the telly when the ginger dies.
this has strong "found footage" horror potential, or something like an ARG
... and that's why every year at April 25th we honor the memory of Mr. Chandelier with red carnations here in Portugal.