Punishing Aggression In Autism

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  • Опубліковано 30 вер 2019
  • Dealing with aggressive behaviors in autism is not black or white. Realizing when you should be punishing aggression in autism and when you shouldn't with severe meltdown behavior is hard!
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 171

  • @JustCHICHI
    @JustCHICHI 4 роки тому +43

    I've been subscribed to you for SOOOO long. Never ever commented. But this needs to be said: YOU, MAMA, ARE MY INTERNET HERO!!!!!!!! You are real and honest and transparent and positive and patient. Bless you and your family, and thank you for sharing your life with us

  • @brandyb6698
    @brandyb6698 4 роки тому +50

    “Took Lonny Jr to work” 😂 I got tickled but I swear I can tell a difference between Liam since he’s started ABA! That’s amazing!

  • @socialglitch2663
    @socialglitch2663 4 роки тому +37

    I find it impossible to organize my words at the pinacle of a meltdown. They don’t come out right, which means trying to have a conversation with me is more likely to frustrate me and result in me screaming or self injuring. I don’t mean to scream. It happens because I’m trying to shove whar feels like a million words through an opening the size of a pinhead while panicking. Which is frustrating in and of itself. All that comes out is shrieks and nonsense, which is even more stressful to me because I want to express myself, and the pressure I put on myself just makes the meltdown worse. The best thing is to do what Noah does and take time away in a dark, calm place until my brain calms down from being so overstimulated, normalizes and I can communicate what happened. It can take some time for my brain to “reset” after an overload but it has been the most effective strategy for me.

    • @ditajean
      @ditajean 4 роки тому

      This is exactly how I am too.

  • @justjamie1715
    @justjamie1715 4 роки тому +12

    I agree, it’s a very difficult line. My son is 17 and we still struggle with it but we do always talk about everything after the meltdown is over. It has gotten a lot easier as he has gotten older though. Keep up the great work mama. I also have a hyper ADHD child so I totally get it. ❤️

  • @jwalk318
    @jwalk318 Рік тому

    I thought of something I wanted to share when you told your little guy “you’re so cute!”. When my daughter was little I was concerned and sad that everyone else’s toddler’s would say “I love you” to them, while my autistic yet mostly verbal toddler never said it until one day not long after her 4th birthday, I picked her up and she spontaneously gave me a big hug and said “ I love you.” Needless to say I was literally in tears from happiness! Then YEARS later I had an epiphany! From the time she started putting two word sentences together, she’d tell me all of the time, “you cute!” and I finally realized that all of that time I was comparing her to other kids her age who were expressing so much more verbally, she WAS actually saying “I love you”, just in her own way, which she learned by connecting that emotion when I’d do exactly as you did in that adorable moment with your little guy, you are expressing love while saying to him “you’re so cute”! And I would do the same, telling her “you’re cute”. I’d say “I love you” as well! But I likely said “you’re cute” more often which was possibly why she picked that up first. I just wanted to share this in case you or anyone else watching, might be waiting for their own kids to express or say certain things. Sometimes they are doing exactly that, it’s just in their own unique way!

  • @chichirinuriko20
    @chichirinuriko20 4 роки тому +8

    I'm glad that you mentioned this about aggression.
    I know for many Autistic people that deal with this(I was never aggressive or anything) like if they feel self injurious, some will use a pillow and stuff. I'll share this video. ❤

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +1

      Thank you girl!!!

    • @chichirinuriko20
      @chichirinuriko20 4 роки тому +1

      @@OurLANDingCrew8 Sure!
      For me as a self dx autistic person, I never was aggressive or had an aggressive meltdowns. However for me I was in like counseling for a year and it change how I self regulate my anxiety and how I handle my crying meltdowns(thats what I get the most). Now I am significally less anxious and my meltdowns are less. Maybe when he is older maybe consider talking about possibly getting counseling or talking to a therapist? Good luck. ❤

  • @Danielle-le2ly
    @Danielle-le2ly 4 роки тому +5

    I just want to say I appreciate the work you put into your channel/videos!! You’re doing amazing with all the kiddos and uploading!💗 I’m 20, with no kids but I genuinely love watching your videos!!

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +2

      Thank you so much Danielle. I really needed to read this comment today 💋

  • @Legal.Knievel
    @Legal.Knievel 4 роки тому +4

    Therapy can definitely help with agression in ASD. This was one of the areas I specialized in in my internship. They are taught to recognize when they start feeling frustrated and how to react, one of the techniques used at the practice I worked at is called the "ninja press." The individual takes their hands into a ninja/prayer position (palms together, fingertips pointing upwards) and pushes together with their upper body strength, it releases neurotransmitters, that help with calming down.

  • @jenniferlehman511
    @jenniferlehman511 4 роки тому +1

    I'm so glad you posted this. My Noah has started to get aggressive and I just don't know how to handle it. He just turned 2. I try to do time outside, but it is so hard for him to understand.

  • @Autmazing
    @Autmazing 4 роки тому +12

    It made me so happy to see the October intro! 🍂🍁 🎃 👻So here for it! ❤️ And I love hearing Liam’s little voice saying Mama. That is just the best!

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +1

      YASS! I was ridiculously excited about it LOL

  • @MomOfBoysNOLA
    @MomOfBoysNOLA 4 роки тому

    This is a great conversation! I struggled with this so much when my Aspie was little. I always did the talking over what choices did you make and what could you have done differently after he was settled down.
    There has been so many days he has been sent to his room to cool down because he just couldn't deal with life.
    Clothes are an issue for my guy too. When we find something that works, we buy several. Speaking of I need to go buy some pants and shorts.

  • @awinterberger23
    @awinterberger23 4 роки тому +1

    love the new intro!!! ❤️ you all are so amazing!!!

  • @Sheila-yn6db
    @Sheila-yn6db 4 роки тому

    You are an amazing Mom!! Your kids are very blessed! I am always amazed at the amount of patience you have. I enjoy your videos!

  • @NouCheeXiong
    @NouCheeXiong 4 роки тому +2

    You have shown time and time again to be such a great mom. ❤️❤️❤️

  • @hannahrose1878
    @hannahrose1878 3 роки тому

    Couldn't have been said better! Very well spoken and informative

  • @lindaherrera3031
    @lindaherrera3031 4 роки тому +2

    Autistic people Rock!!!! 💙💙 My son Giovanni is seven and he has taught me so much(non verbal). He’s perfection and I’m learning so much from him everyday. Thank you for sharing your story with us. ❤️

  • @renataorr7280
    @renataorr7280 4 роки тому +2

    Your the best i have so much respect for you and lonnie !!!love watching y'all 💯💯💯

  • @jessicaborgogni9595
    @jessicaborgogni9595 3 роки тому +1

    I gave you major props for all you're saying here!! Girl, you guys have got this down!! Im so in awe

  • @robbienieves2296
    @robbienieves2296 4 роки тому +7

    My son is autistic I can relate to this so much

  • @Tlynteresa
    @Tlynteresa 4 роки тому +2

    I love the Halloween intro!!!!!!! I also love you and your family so much ❤️💗💗

  • @sherriwilliams9303
    @sherriwilliams9303 4 роки тому

    Omg girl I needed this today!! My son is 8 (basically non verbal) zero back and forth verbal communication but he’s also starting to become very aggressive but it’s all due to his autism and not being able to regulate himself!! He was able to regulate himself better when he was 6/7 but he turned 8 in June and his aggression has gotten out of hand and punishing him escalates the meltdown obviously but once he’s calmed down I can’t talk to him about what happened because he’s not verbal enough and he definitely don’t understand I’m talking about a certain incident 😔

  • @haleydennis7135
    @haleydennis7135 4 роки тому

    You’re such a good mom omg. It’s unbelievable ❤️

  • @lindsayhinzman1905
    @lindsayhinzman1905 4 роки тому +9

    My ASD son is 5. He is rarely aggressive, but on a rare occasion, he will try to hit me when I’m not giving him his way. I absolutely discipline him when he does that. However, if it were during a meltdown, I would move him to his bedroom and then talk to him about it when he’s done. He always apologizes immediately and feels bad. He is verbal, but delayed, so sometimes has a hard time expressing his feelings in words. Talking to him about how to handle his feelings helps. When he’s mad, he will usually cross his arms and stomp his feet and say “I’m mad!” Daycare taught him that when he was 4. We will then talk about why he’s mad and work through his feelings and that helps. There definitely a gray area with discipline and autism. It’s sometimes hard to distinguish if the behavior is autism or typical 5 year old behaviors.

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +7

      Exactly. You know your kid and you know the difference. Noah has been aggressive since like age 4 so for us it's a different struggle.

    • @beckyfry358
      @beckyfry358 3 роки тому

      Lindsay, my son is the same. He will hit/punch when he is not given his way. How do you discipline that behavior?

    • @robloxjada61
      @robloxjada61 3 роки тому

      @@beckyfry358 Take Away Something He likes or Put him in the Timeout

  • @geometricheaddress9457
    @geometricheaddress9457 4 роки тому +2

    So glad you're doing this video! Discipline is tricky! I've wondered how to go about it. Spanking is not an option.

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +3

      Not for us either girl! Discipline has been the hardest hurdle with Noah

  • @orntelove
    @orntelove 4 роки тому +1

    omg I'm so glad that I found you when I did. I have binged all your videos lol. I never know when to punish my kid. He's 11 and when he's calm I discuss what can happen as an adult or a really big boy as I phrase it what can happen with the police and how in prison they don't give you the food you like (that's what he understands the most)

  • @caitinjohannsen7839
    @caitinjohannsen7839 4 роки тому +6

    THE NEW INTRO OMG YES SPOOKTOBER

  • @skatercat93
    @skatercat93 4 роки тому +16

    I get quite aggressive sometimes and it's easier for me to look back in retrospect now that I'm older (26). I went undiagnosed until 21. Growing up, my parents always yelled and punished me for aggressive behavior. Sometimes it was truly out of my control (leading to a meltdown) and other times it was me not knowing how to control my aggression or not knowing even that something I was doing was unacceptable! I don't know how to think like a neurotypical person. I need ALOT of feedback from close friends and family as to how y'all tick. If something is prompting aggression, let's say... a sensory overload, then coping skills and interventions are the key. If the aggression is coming from something like...not getting along with others well/cussing/screaming/attitude/maybe even shoving or hitting, then yes, a punishment might be appropriate. If you know, Steph, that Noah or Lex has the capability and understanding that what he is doing is wrong/inappropriate for a given situation, correcting the behavior would be in order. What was the "motive" so to speak. Hope this explanation helps. #actuallyautistic

    • @kennedywelfel1341
      @kennedywelfel1341 3 роки тому

      I feel like that exact thing happens to me but I am not diagnosed and I do not like self diagnosis

  • @TerikatheweirdPanda
    @TerikatheweirdPanda 4 роки тому +5

    5:04 he was just like nah mom I’ll just use my hands 😂

  • @typicalanna1282
    @typicalanna1282 4 роки тому +1

    loving the halloween themed intro!! 💗

  • @TheSampern
    @TheSampern 3 роки тому

    You're such a wonderful mom!!

  • @brandonplemmons910
    @brandonplemmons910 3 роки тому

    Hi, Stephanie I'm watching this episode after a moderate autism meltdown. Thank you for the tips. I do deep breathing, it helps alot. I also just had to lay on my bed and scream for a minute.

  • @animallover48083
    @animallover48083 4 роки тому

    Hey! I’m currently studying to be a special ed teacher w a focus in ASD, and I’m also a BT for ABA. In my opinion, you don’t want to punish, rather that teach him a replacement behavior, and show to him the rewards of the replacement behavior. Behavior IS communication so there has to be a reason for the aggressive behavior. If you can get to the root of the behavior you can find adequate replacements! Love watching your videos- they help me in my schooling (: you can do it!

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому

      I love this and so glad you commented! Because it's so true. Finding replacement POSITIVE behavior is so important.

  • @abbychyknox7053
    @abbychyknox7053 4 роки тому +1

    I really enjoy all your family and watching your videos #bestyoutubefamilyever love you all

  • @thebonvillains2219
    @thebonvillains2219 4 роки тому +2

    Hey!! Stephanie this was so helpful 🙌. My five year was just re-evaluated she already had ADHD/combined but now was diagnosed with ODD /DMDD and is Autistic. And I totally agree with you 💯. Plus my soon twenty- one month old son is getting evaluated. But anyways girly sending much hugs from my family to yours. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

    • @elenagibbons4719
      @elenagibbons4719 4 роки тому

      The Bonvillain's I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what’s ODD/DMDD?

    • @thebonvillains2219
      @thebonvillains2219 4 роки тому

      Elena Gibbons ODD is "Oppositional defiant disorder" DMDD is " Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder.

  • @HappyNoodleMom
    @HappyNoodleMom 4 роки тому +3

    My youngest skipped crawling and stood and walked sooner and now she has bowed legs... doc said it happens sometimes and he doesnt want to call it blount's because she isnt even two. She falls a lot while trying to walk but no one wants to fix something when it hasn't "gotten worse" it's so irritating.

  • @healingwithniki5049
    @healingwithniki5049 4 роки тому

    OMG. I have bipolar as well. Both of my boys have autism. The doctor that diagnosed my boys said that parents with a history of mental illness have higher rates of kids with autism.
    I wouldn't have it any other way.
    God gave us special need children because we can meet their needs.
    And open to learning from them.
    I love you and your family.
    Thank you for your uploads😊

  • @juliebotzenhart8064
    @juliebotzenhart8064 4 роки тому +2

    I have an aggressive child and things got way out of control and he never would talk about it and we were getting hurt daily and property damage and he would not go and cool off. He would attack us physically and verbally attack us all the time and he thought it was ok for him to do that. He never learned how to handle that at home but away from us he didn't do that to other people normally. He just moved out in August to an apartment with full time care.

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому

      It takes a lot for them to learn and some its even harder. It's hard, really hard. It's taken us a really long time to get where we are at with Noah. I am sorry mama :/

  • @Pickdivision
    @Pickdivision 4 роки тому +2

    I have autism, and when I had a meltdown in school, I was suspended because I wasn't being safe towards others.

  • @staceyruwoldt9158
    @staceyruwoldt9158 4 роки тому

    I more on the borderline of the spectrum a lot like Lex💕 I've never being aggressive or lashed out during one of my meltdowns, biggest thing to remember is meltdowns are felt and experienced differently with every person

  • @imLittleBean
    @imLittleBean 4 роки тому

    Love the new intro, just in time for October 1st :)

  • @beetee4865
    @beetee4865 4 роки тому

    It is definitely a gray area. We're getting a crash course in this with my 8 year nephew who is mostly nonverbal. Thankfully he's not very aggressive right now, but as he approaches puberty we'll have to see how it goes. Sounds like you guys are doing a good job balancing it with your boys and that's very good. 👍

  • @KelsieElizabeth
    @KelsieElizabeth 4 роки тому

    This video couldn't have come at a better time... My 6 year old (who is going through the process of his evaluation with the school) has just started acting out and screaming and hitting his aid at the school... His behavior has gotten worse at home as well and he is getting very aggressive and I'm at such a loss for what to do to with him... :'( its so hard and I don't know how to help him and discipline for his actions.. Its hard because he just doesn't get it. 😭💔💔

  • @carriebowlen3785
    @carriebowlen3785 4 роки тому

    I love you guys!

  • @weescottishrebornmummy9302
    @weescottishrebornmummy9302 4 роки тому +2

    We had a frightening experience when at the antenatal clinic my then 2 1/2 year old Tiny Daughter was playing in a toy house and a 12 yr old Autistic boy took a hard toy pot and battered her several times over the head and she was screaming in pain , his Mother said it was ok cause was Autistic . i said no it's not , it's dangerous . Both my Girls are Autistic and both were disciplined as normal , except for melt downs . We used stickers as rewards for good behaviour with their fave characters on them .

  • @tracyslifejourney1935
    @tracyslifejourney1935 4 роки тому

    Lex is talking so much better now and love that Liam says mama again and little miss Nellie is growing up way too fast

  • @brennenzysk2033
    @brennenzysk2033 4 роки тому +4

    I am autistic the individual who has mild intellectual disability and I get aggression problems I've had them ever since I was a child from what my mom has explained to me I remember my mom telling me that when I was a kid I used to but my head so hard especially on her knee and she felt pain and I felt relief when my mom notice I am having aggression she tries to get me to calm down and tries to correct me and what I'm doing right and wrong which is good for me because I need to learn that and I'm still working on it even though I'm 22 sorry about all this and have a good day

    • @mushakhan8644
      @mushakhan8644 4 роки тому +2

      Brennen Zysk as an autistic person would you say that talking them through aggression is better than disciplining? I wanted to know what your advice would be regarding aggression 🙂

    • @brennenzysk2033
      @brennenzysk2033 4 роки тому +1

      @@mushakhan8644 it depends on the situation but yes most of the time it is because to talk to the autistic individual instead of punishing them in my opinion hope that helps and sorry if I did not answer your question fully

  • @evanwalter9
    @evanwalter9 4 роки тому

    What works for me to prevent a violent meltdown is to be consistent with explanations by explaining things thoroughly that you don't understand. I find that if things that I don't understand very well aren't explained properly I have more of a tendency of having a meltdown. Being consistent is understanding the needs of the autistic person that could have a meltdown, well preparing for troublesome events or situations, well explaining things that the autistic person is having difficulty understanding (example: going down to their level of understanding). I know Noah is different to me and his meltdowns might not be triggered by poorly explaining or preparing for a dodgy situation that could disturb him but that's what helps me and that's my trigger for meltdowns (not being consistent)

  • @happythoughts559
    @happythoughts559 3 роки тому

    I don’t know if Noah likes to write but when I get overwhelmed, I struggle to express my emotions verbally. So, I write them down in a little diary which really helps me calm down. I now do poetry instead of just writing and I used to draw my feelings out a lot when I was little. That helped a ton since I used to be aggressive towards myself (self hitting/punching/biting/slapping/cutting/pinching).

  • @ashlieleavelle
    @ashlieleavelle 4 роки тому +1

    So when I was a special needs nanny, I was told to punish for meltdowns and not give in. She would be very violent. At first I thought she couldn't help it, but then after a while I saw that she had less meltdowns with myself or her mother than her father. The dad almost never gave her consequences. I thought at first punishing her was wrong, but the mom told me not to let her disability be an excuse for bad behavior. So I saw she threw less and less tantrums for the adults who were strict about it and for her dad and one of the therapists she had more meltdowns. She was completely non verbal but she could understand. It is really a hard issue whether it's ok to discipline for fits or not. Thank you for doing this video!!!! Love you guys.

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +1

      It's a gray area and every situation and child is different for sure!

  • @alishiabishop845
    @alishiabishop845 4 роки тому +1

    I had a hard time with my autistic son. Before we started ABA, when we would punish him for agressive behavior, it would always cause that behavior to escalate for weeks on end and became a horrible loop! We still struggle with the behaviors, but we finally found a few methods that have been slowly decreasing them. Autism is hard, guys!

  • @aryanataylor5250
    @aryanataylor5250 4 роки тому +1

    Omg it makes me so happy that his mama came back

  • @16taysia
    @16taysia 3 роки тому

    This was uploaded on my birthday! 😊

  • @joemomoney13
    @joemomoney13 4 роки тому

    You & Lonnie do a great job with your kids.

  • @JustKhristene
    @JustKhristene 4 роки тому

    You’re such a great momma!

  • @SignWithCourtney
    @SignWithCourtney Рік тому

    Can you share some of these techniques you're referring to? I have a 4 year old autistic, adhd, dev delayed, non-verbal child who is super aggressive and nothing works for his aggression and it just continues to build. Especially when he doesn't get what he wants.

  • @Becks418
    @Becks418 4 роки тому

    I tend to shutdown rather than meltdown but when in a meltdown - it’s better to go to a quiet place with self stimulate things like fidget toys and a blanket etc. When people try constantly talking to you or are trying to hug you or generally be nurturing like they would a typical person.. it can make a meltdown a lottttt worse because processing any information at that point is not happening so it results in aggression. One important thing I’ve had to learn to do is take breaks from things, for example if something is too loud at a party, taking regular breaks away from all people and all noise will help.

  • @hazeelise
    @hazeelise 4 роки тому +1

    Hi! I'm autistic and I have never been able to stand jeans on my skin. I wear leggings underneath jeans, because I like the way jeans look, but I can't stand how they feel on my skin. The leggings fix that issue for me, and they help with my poor proprioception! I don't know if that would work for Noah, but I thought I'd mention it. :)

  • @boobie1967
    @boobie1967 3 роки тому +1

    My son at 20 just started wearing jeans. He always wears jogging pants. He still has issues with his emotions. We've learned to redirect him. He has been stimming more since he's an adult. I think it helps him regulate his emotions.

  • @torisetzer1938
    @torisetzer1938 4 роки тому +1

    Have Noah’s meltdowns decreased as he has gotten older? My brother has autism and your channel has helped me understand him so much better!

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +2

      They have as we have gotten him better coping skills as well

  • @DiariesofaDisabledmom
    @DiariesofaDisabledmom 4 роки тому +1

    I always say my kid is going to work 🤦 totally understand lol I'm actually autistic with an autistic son but I kind of agree with u. I remember during a meltdown my mom locked me in a room but it was a small hook at the top of the door and I still broke thru. Whoops. I've been trying to teach my son to go to his room when he's at the point to scream and stuff.

  • @pawprintheroes8408
    @pawprintheroes8408 4 роки тому +1

    my fiance doesnt like jeans either. the most jean thing he will wear is more like a stiff work pant. if hes not in those hes in fleecy sweatpants or pj pants

  • @gettingjamieback1888
    @gettingjamieback1888 4 роки тому +1

    I appreciate this video! I wonder the same thing as the video name.

  • @meganrunner
    @meganrunner 4 роки тому +1

    Lol your daughter and I have the same unicorn phone case...I’m 24, 2 kids and yes still In love with unicorns

  • @typicalanna1282
    @typicalanna1282 4 роки тому +4

    pinelope is so beautiful

  • @hollyriffe223
    @hollyriffe223 4 роки тому

    I love watching you, 2 autistic kids myself and between the therapies and the melt downs I am mentally exhausted. How do I get my husband to understand the mental tow I deal with daily from this???

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому

      I think if you involve him more. Journal your day. There's no way Lonnie can be in our everyday and NOT realize how tired I am.

  • @daniellefrank2572
    @daniellefrank2572 3 роки тому

    As a autistic adult this is my perspective. For me to function in everyday society I really have to watch myself. I've lost countless jobs because of meltdowns. I've also gone through many relationships because of meltdowns. As an adult the consequences are bigger. I essentially had to create an alter ego, and that ego is who goes out into society. It sounds crazy and awful but this is just my experience

  • @shaunalea823
    @shaunalea823 4 роки тому

    I agree w you mama 100%, James doesn't have meltdowns but he does get over stimulated which we don't discipline him for, we do remove him from the situation which helps him calm down, fortunately so far he is easily directed. We do follow through w discipline but also try to understand when he is struggling and can help it.

  • @wifey_to_an_rc_addict2610
    @wifey_to_an_rc_addict2610 4 роки тому

    @Landingcrew Stephanie my daughter is 11 months on the 2nd and she did the same i thought she was going to walk b4 she crawled butttttt lol she started to crawl shortly after she was pushing up with her legs like Penelope. At 8.5 9 months she started to crawl and then started to pull up. Penelope is doing great!!! I think right on track imo. Great work momma

  • @dreamercraftcorner
    @dreamercraftcorner 4 роки тому

    my autism son does get aggressive directed to himself by bitting his hand. i just talk him down and offer something to distract him or put him in quit part of house with lights low. when he misbehaves he quick to excuse himself by saying,' i have autism

  • @chasingdaisies2127
    @chasingdaisies2127 4 роки тому +1

    Yes. I have an autistic son, and although our discipline is different to our neurotypical daughters, he still has to learn sometimes you can't behave a certain way. He is still a child after all, that eventually will be an adult and certain behaviours aren't acceptable.

  • @saylorantle3886
    @saylorantle3886 4 роки тому

    My aggression is actually more towards myself than anyone else and its like... when it happens, all I can feel is this rage internally. I really wish my diagnosis came before adulthood because I feel like if I'd gotten more support, I wouldnt deal with as much aggression towards myself when I melt down. For me, aggression comes hand in hand with meltdowns

  • @jaynedavis3388
    @jaynedavis3388 4 роки тому +3

    Noah might do well in jeggings, it might help him feel like he’s wearing the same things as everyone else. I come from a large family & with everyone going to their in-laws or on vacation, we have “Fakemas”. Every year we find a weekend that everyone has free in November or December & we all get together & have a full Christmas with a tree & presents & food. The kids LOVE having 2 Christmases and it’s a way to get everyone together AT LEAST once a year (we visit each other a lot but not all together). I guess that’s part of Why Americans have Thanksgiving, so they can see everyone during one holiday or the other. We all still celebrate the real Christmas but there’s no pressure about who’s coming & these days we spend actual Christmas with friends rather than family... I’m being encouraged to get drunk because apparently I was hilarious last year

  • @Dragonlove3
    @Dragonlove3 4 роки тому

    Awesome

  • @ericalemoyne8627
    @ericalemoyne8627 4 роки тому

    Cool intro. I like it alot.😊

  • @sociology202cook4
    @sociology202cook4 4 роки тому +2

    I use music to help calm myself after a meltdown

  • @Legal.Knievel
    @Legal.Knievel 4 роки тому

    I can't blame Noah, I hate jeans too (well pants in general lol) I wear leggings like 99% of the time when I go out and change into lounge shorts as soon as I walk in the door.

  • @supercreeperstar5976
    @supercreeperstar5976 4 роки тому

    Liam is so cute I love your videos

  • @Maria-he3vw
    @Maria-he3vw 4 роки тому

    What advice do you have for a parent with a non verbal child and dealing with agressive behavior

  • @Meganaparker
    @Meganaparker 4 роки тому +1

    You mentioned having bipolar. I have a bipolar brother and I have aspergers which when he goes off it makes me overstimulated do you have any tips for dealing with people with unmediated bipolar when they go off on tangents and get mad at everyone and everything.

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +2

      Tuning them out honestly. Smiling and nodding your head or change the subject suddenly. "Oh my goodness, isn't the cooler weather awesome" or "did you do something different with your hair" I do this with my mom sometimes and it snaps them out of whatever they're fixated on LOL

  • @MamaJuru
    @MamaJuru 4 роки тому +2

    Have you tried using essential oils with Lex? It might help with the sleep issues.

  • @geometricheaddress9457
    @geometricheaddress9457 4 роки тому +2

    I think suspension should be a last resort. I never understood how it helps anyone!

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +2

      Well because if they don't do it then it sets a precedent that if a child does that then there's not a consequence if you're special needs. I get it, it's another "gray area"

  • @coloradogirl5390
    @coloradogirl5390 4 роки тому +1

    My ASD son will not wear jeans at all. Nothing but sweat pants. H&M. I catch them when they have sales.

    • @snorlaxitives3490
      @snorlaxitives3490 4 роки тому +1

      I used to be the same way. Now I like jeans if they're really loose

  • @hershalbyrd7435
    @hershalbyrd7435 4 роки тому

    Yes, I know how hard it is to control an aggressive meltdown, especially with type I diabetes when having a very severe hypoglycemic reaction with the autism. That was over 6 years ago. All these melt downs were a result of where I worked discouraged diabetics from checking their glucose levels and working through the problem. In the back at where I worked, I let off steam by punching plastic in a plastic recycling bin. My mom told me I had a right to be angry since Walmart had no right to push diabetics through the work load during an insulin reaction. I asked Walmart to put me in a different position such as cartpushing and maintenance since lifting heavy and harsh was tough on my diabetes. It took a while, but things are better now and people are aware of my condition and they appreciate my hard work.

  • @coloradogirl5390
    @coloradogirl5390 4 роки тому

    You are also very brave to go to legoland on the weekend. I never take my ASD kid anywhere on the weekend.

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому

      Lol. Well it’s kind of the only time we can!

  • @kimberlierusk2136
    @kimberlierusk2136 4 роки тому

    Jean's is an issue for my autistic daughter too.

  • @christinab.2864
    @christinab.2864 4 роки тому

    Get jeans at target there the softest new jeans but at goodwill is the softest of the soft don’t be surprise that will still have wash the clothes.

  • @TerriLearn
    @TerriLearn 11 місяців тому

    I think autism is very interesting. I think Noah is a awesome person even , though he has autism I would like to meet him one day and to be his friend

  • @kimberlypilkerton6130
    @kimberlypilkerton6130 4 роки тому +1

    ❤️

  • @elsazarate1982
    @elsazarate1982 4 роки тому

    I don't care if it's early but since you mentioned Riverdale I jus wanted to tell you that I'm going to be Jughead Jones for Halloween. What y'all going as for Halloween?

  • @Caldog_Tomlinson
    @Caldog_Tomlinson 4 роки тому

    @Our LANDing Crew
    What is the song at the end of all your videos

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому

      You Will Always Be The One by Loving Caliber on Epidemic Sound

  • @mollyray8765
    @mollyray8765 4 роки тому

    You should add more advertisements make that money girl. Love ur videos

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +2

      HAHA, I have a rule of the length of a video how much I will add because even though this is my full time income, I don't want it to become too "spammy"

  • @bnwemken8994
    @bnwemken8994 4 роки тому

    I agree with you. We use ABA methods for aggression, I don’t know how we would have handled discipline if we hadn’t had ABA from the beginning, it’s been the best thing for our son. If it’s a meltdown we treat it differently than a tantrum. Spanking is never an option for us, autistic or typical.

  • @SapphireX413
    @SapphireX413 4 роки тому

    My son won't wear jeans either. He pulls at them and cries. Same with overalls or shirts with turtleneck-like collars.
    I also struggle with discipline because he doesn't understand any type of positive or negative reinforcement yet. He doesn't know that a reward or a timeout was due to his behavior so it's a really challenging time for us and him right now. We're starting ABA in the coming weeks so fingers crossed 🤞

  • @syleenadawn2038
    @syleenadawn2038 4 роки тому

    My 2 older kids (Oldest ADHD, 2nd oldest NT) both hate jeans, and so do I lol. My oldest son lives in Joggers and Track pants, and my daughter lives in Leggings LOL

  • @emilyupchurchcowley2169
    @emilyupchurchcowley2169 4 роки тому

    I have adhd and autism

  • @sam04172007
    @sam04172007 4 роки тому

    My sons not dx autistic but he struggles with self regulation we just had to have this conversation with my 10 yr old..... am at a loss I feel like I’m failing as a parent

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому +1

      You are NOT failing. No one gave us a handbook and definitely not one on special needs. This is beyond their control and yours too. Just give them a safe space and method to release frustrations!!!

  • @carolestandiford6362
    @carolestandiford6362 4 роки тому +1

    I normally lead my son to his room and let him cool down on his own because like you said he can't get away with it but it's really hard for my son to understand that he's being mean and aggressive. After he stops screaming I'll go check on him and he's normally feeling better.
    Really the only thing we can do at the current moment.

  • @Micha-fb1gp
    @Micha-fb1gp 4 роки тому +1

    Stephanie, I was wondering has lehm been diagnosed with speach apraxia?

    • @OurLANDingCrew8
      @OurLANDingCrew8  4 роки тому

      No he hasn't been evaluated by a speech therapist yet.

    • @Micha-fb1gp
      @Micha-fb1gp 4 роки тому

      Oh ok, it seems so much like speach apraxia, it would be interesting to find out. I'm so so happy "momma" came back for him!
      Also if it's ok can I send a pm to you on discord?

  • @ljmerrittproductions3188
    @ljmerrittproductions3188 4 роки тому

    I guess, in a court of law the judge may take a persons condition into account and they may get a lighter sentence or they could be sectioned under the mental health act where if they are classed as a danger to them self or other people, they get taken to a special care facility until they are “cured”

  • @amybudafulldisaster3646
    @amybudafulldisaster3646 4 роки тому

    C ya on Twitter and YOUNOW