How To Get Out of Your Divorce | JUST B DIVORCE
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- Опубліковано 22 чер 2024
- Sharing some tips that helped me while going through the first few years of my divorce.
For questions about divorce, drop a comment below and we will do our best to answer it in the next Q&A episode!
#divorce #divorcedmoms #divorcelawyers #divorceprocess #divorceadviceforwomen #divorceadviceformen #divorceadvice
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Bethenny Frankel is the CEO & Founder of Skinnygirl Brand, a Best-Selling Author, Podcast Host, Television Host, founder of Bstrong, and the TikTok anti-influencer of Beauty.
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Don’t assume someone is smarter than you. Best advice ever! We often think someone with a degree or in a certain profession, is smarter than us. Not always! Follow your instincts. And listen to Bethenny!
Absolutely. Not everyone graduated with A’s. There are always the C students who just skate by and just barely pass their state boards. Just because they have a diploma and have a nice office doesn’t mean they’re clever and will work hard for you. Most do the bare minimum. I’ve always found I do more research than them.
@@sunflowerbaby1853True!
I only wish I had heard it put like this, years ago ..still, it was very powerful for sure!
Real estate agents and attorneys are guided by self preservation. IF you are lucky enough to have your needs/wants/desires happen to be in line with theirs, than you consider yourself blessed and go forward. Never trust fully and DO UR OWN AND DILIGENT DUE DILIGENCE!!! Like Bethenny, I have sold homes for 100ks more than what agents told me I'd get. The market ultimately reveals who is right. If it sells or closes (in the case of a lawsuit), then that person is correct
Absolutely 💯
I just don’t understand how her ex thought it would end up good for him. What a nut job
He didn't care. He wanted to hurt Bethenny for wanting out of being with him and for her biz success he could never achieve and he was successful
Best words Bethenny has ever said! "Never assume someone is smarter than you" regardless of their expertise.
In her memoir, Inside Out, Demi Moore wrote “if you carry a well of shame and unresolved trauma inside of you, no amount of money, no measure of success or celebrity, can fill it.”
It's true. This is exactly why I hate hearing trendy liberal talk about wealth, they literally think it solves every single problem and people of means have no right or reason to feel pain. Or somehow the pain of wealthy people isn't real. :(
That's exactly why I'm healing!!! ❤
@@frankievalentine6112 Trendy liberal talk? You can't be that clueless.
the notary who falsified the documents should be charged.
I think she said in an earlier video that it was her former MIL who actually falsified her notary stamp because she wasn’t licensed in NY, only in PA.
Agree it was the MIL
That is what I was wondering...how is that legal? Shady.
@@catskillmountainhomebodyit’s not legal. But if no one refutes it in court/ reports it, there’s no way the lawyers/ powers that be would know it’s not a valid stamp. (Bethanny wasn’t informed about the notary hence why she didn’t refute it until recently- that’s why she was able to get her apartment now.)
That was the marital home and Jason deserves half. That is only fair.
That notebook moment when you keep flicking passed the page and then the book falls open and you are like BINGO. When god shines
I definitely could have used all of this advice in 2012! I came out of a 20 yr marriage with 2 teenagers. I let him have everything as I just wanted out and he didn't want a divorce.
This entire experience probably made Bethenny the ultimate master at time management logistics… packing, sorting, organizing, traveling with shit, editing down materials in order to travel better, packing light so you can be in transit more easily…. That’s a huge skill that most people can’t wrap their head around when it’s at this degree of proactive planning. This skillset will pay dividends in years to come and Brynn has learned it as well. It forces you to develop decision making skills and see what’s critical and what’s not. Thank you for sharing this part of the journey 💕
✨💯✨💯
"I wanted someone to save me." Yes yes yes. Idk about men but as women that is DEFINITELY how I've felt my whole life. Had a horrible childhood and have spent my entire adult life trying to prove to others I'm worth saving. Ugh. 💔
I see that you don't actually understand the statement, which is having a mindset of "wanting someone to save me." Which actually could mean a variety of scenarios, except yours. Such as needing someone to meet your impossible needs, to save you from your negative behaviours or thought patterns, wanting someone to validate you all the time due to not being happy yourself and unable to be positive in body, mind and soul etc . Not what you're implying u do, which is almost like trying to convince others of your own self-worth and that you're not trash? Or disposable?😮. It's so 😮sad you feel u need to prove yourself vs. what the statement means, which is like wanting a knight in shining armour to come rescue you from yourself! I hope that makes sense and clears it up for you 🙏 😊
Don’t accept someone is smarter than you!!! That is SO SO TRUE!!!!
You are a SURVIVOR. I applaud you. Great example for your daughter, she’s lucky to have you.
I think B is being very diplomatic, but I think her ex had to let the apt go when he realised his mother was liable as the notary, or being implicated as the notary. Can’t play smart and stupid at the same time. ❤
What??????? The mama?😮
My belief about marriage.... is that it's like a 📕 BOOK 📘 • I read it once , • I know the beginning, • I know the middle, and • I know the END. "I DON'T NEED TO READ IT AGAIN. I'll date I'll, have sleep over, "BUT I'LL NEVER EVER 📝 SIGN THAT CONTRACT 📝 EVER AGAIN."
You are absolutely awesome. I am 60 years old and went through a similar situation as yours and had a really bad life for a few years until the Court ruled in my favor. I did not know your story (I do not watch TV) but I could tell from the tone of your voice in the your UA-cam 'shorts' that I watched that you were a whole person. I agree with you - nothing, nothing makes me feel better today than the financial freedom I have and to be able to love whoever you want and on my own terms. Like you it makes me glow - I do not know how to express it in words but just via my disposition people can tell I am a 'do not mess with her' kind of person. I did loose my candor in all this but I know better now and that is the price to pay. You look wonderful and you are a true inspiration. Thank you!
*** I am going through that now ***
My soon-2-b ex called me while I was traveling for work.
2 wks before returning to EU to celebrate his bday.
All my stuff shipped from US to EU just 2 months prior.
Now, no home to have my stuff - shipped it back to US into a storage unit.
UGH!! Now, I think he should pay 100% of my ship back to the US. After 8 yrs of marriage he owes me that and also for an inheritance loan I lent him for his start-up business. 😢 for the entire time of marriage, I paid the rent as the bread winner. Supported him through his ups/downs (really big downs of his). 2 days after saying he wanted a divorce, he was sending a stranger flowers asking for a date - not just a date, but taking her to the very place he proposed to me 😮… yeah, he is a BIG F’er!
I promise you will so glad to be rid of him and have him as a speck in ur rear view. I went through something similar. Cried for yrs. Therapy and other bills. Consumed my 30s but turning 40 I met my now husband. Hubby is 10x better than ex. We have 2 kids that bring love and joy to me everyday. I haven't even told my kids I was previously married. I dodged a bullet but had some bumps and scrapes. Sounds like you did too. In time you kiss the ground and thank G*d that you got out and away bc I guarantee he will stay the same. At least you still have the chance at a better life. That woman he sent flowers to and took to the place where u were engaged is only getting the "representative" He will not be some super great guy with her. Guys like that never change but u still can.
Never Think Someone Is Smarter Than You,very very wise words,listen to your gut instinct ❤️🌷
You don’t know how much I appreciate these segments. You’re validating my experience. 23 marriage, 10 years later still not final. I don’t know what to do. Purgatory! Ran out of $$. But I know I need to finalize it. 😮
Ten years? You poor thing. Finish it. Unshackle yourself from him!
Bc you are doing these podcasts on your divorce, I went back and watched Bethenny Ever After and RHONY seasons 7- when you left, I wanted to see what I didn't see the first time and there was so much to see. Among so many other things...Jason was so controlling and he and his parents were so manipulative / passive agressive-ish with you (as I'm sure they were with him.) Then on RHONY, it was so apparent that you were going thru something bad - you could barely keep it together sometimes and that means something! All the women should have been adult enough to not make things you said or did about them. It was so gross to see that. It seemed like nobody really advocated for you (meaning instead of complaining about you not being around enough or making an effort to get to know them) or even just had the slightest amount of empathy...UGH!! I mean, I know toxicity is a character on the show but, knowing what I know now about people, and what I'm getting from these podcast episodes, it is so glaringly apparent. I wouldn't call you a survivor, I'd say you're incredibly strong and you thrived in spite of all that crap you went through. You're not like this because of your dysfunctional family, you are you IN SPITE of the stuff that happened when you were young, I mean, I know (from my own experience) that hypervigilance comes out of living in a hostile home but, maybe you had that in you anyway! I think you're great.
Thank you for being so generous with all you have learned. Takes balls!!❤
This!
YES, THANK YOU B
You truly are a survivor, and it breaks my heart to think anyone had to go through what you did. I see you and Brynn are super happy, this is definitely a story, but you have a happy ending.
The only thing worse than going through a horrible divorce and staying in a hellish marriage. I went through a similar experience with my home but got to the point where I didn't care if I lived on a park bench as long as I was truly done with this evil nutcase. It cost me all a lot in legal fees and all of my material possessions as I could not afford to continue with the legal fees so I picked me, my kids and have made my peace with it and that is priceless.
Each video gives a little bit more information for any woman facing these issues & challenges.
By what we’ve heard thus far, his was goal was to break her spirit and get her money (as much as he could). It appears he was also trying to break her by leveraging their child.
Bethenny, I'm still watching the episode as I type but just had to say that when @ just prior to 7 minutes in, you said Don't assume someone is smarter than you - that right there hit me so hard it took me back👊 Very powerful. (I'll watch the remainder now..) 🤗
Now you are doing God’s work! Best advice ever!!! Nobody tells it better than you. Keep sharing, younger people need to hear this. Love you ❤
Bit of a stretch... saving cancer patients, serving in military, feeding the poor is God's work. Not an affluent divorce
I could’ve really used this 12 years ago when I got divorced.
I never listen to the professionals,… I’ve always felt super intuitive with whatever I’m doing and question authority. I know exactly what you mean, love ya for it!
6:02 I’m prioritizing my health right now and this part really resonated with me. Thanks B.
“Not going there again bruh” 😂😂😂 F yeah!!!!
🌹Thank you again Bethenny. This series is one of the most needed, relatable and powerful series on UA-cam! You look beautiful and I hope you are enjoying your new home. ~Love&Light♥️Carli xx
Everytime I watch one of your videos I love you more 💓 It’s crazy how as women we still struggle with the idea that someone “knows better” or “is smarter” than us . Sometimes because of credentials, sometimes because of gender or whatever weird bias we were engrained to believe. It takes years for us to be like wait , what the hell is this idiot saying , no one knows me like me! You are the pinnacle of strength, resilience and transparency. Thank you for being you and for showing us all to believe in ourselves and the bad bitches we are!!!!!🎉
Great reminder on how life is not easy. Accepting that is the first most important step in surviving what life throws at you. And yes, anyone who acts like life is easy is lying! I get fed up with people pretending they're living the perfect life.
Only the strong survive. You survived Bethenny. I’ve survived divorce also. 21 years married 7 years free. Life is so sweet!
This year put me through the ringer and for me I had to pretend nothing was happening and to just pamper myself because self care really is important
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that Bethenny. But I am very happy to see that you and your daughter are both thriving. It makes we wonder about the mindset of a person who would put their estranged spouse through all of that. That sort of vindictivness is not an every day occurrence and comes from a very dark place in someone's mind. It is a good thing you moved on and out of that apartment because of the bad energy that must have been trapped there. On another topic, I want to say how much I enjoyed your movie on Lifetime called "Danger in the Dorm." I also am glad that your real-life daughter is a lot cuter and nicer than daughter in the movie. But just like in real life you were a very strong, loyal and loving mother.
The last part is what I’ve been waiting to hear! I’ve always wondered if you regretted now not just giving him the damn apartment and getting yourself a convenient place. If you couldn’t, you couldn’t. Sounds like it would have been too scary, even though the alternative was hell.
💭💭 I’m staying “single” FOREVER❕
💭💭 life is toooooo SHORT to be going through a tornado 🌪️
💭💭 I’m SO SORRY BETHENNY YOU went through that 🤍
💭💭 SO happy your life is at peace ✌🏻 full of happiness that tornado 🌪️ is behind YOU now 🤍 💋
I know you went through crap but I can't help but laugh at your scenarios. Walking in public rn chuckling. Send love to you and Bryn. ❤
How does one survive something that extreme? So much emotional trauma. I am sorry you had to experience all of it.
I watched it on your reality show and on the Real housewives show. It was very hard to watch but you persevered. You’ve come a long way it is wonderful to see you so happy. May God continue to bless you and your lovely daughter.
Isn’t the marital home community property to be divided . U have to be your own advocate yes
This may be a dumb question, but do you speak in any way with Jason now?
Thank you for sharing your story and making some of us feel seen and heard in some way.
Thank you for being you ❤❤
This video and message could not have come at a better time for me. Love you Bethenny! A true inspiration!
I sure do enjoy listening to your podcasts. Our circles aren't even close to intertwining, but I know would be great friends if we knew each other. I love your heart and your tenacity. Keep shining bright!
You dug yourself out of a whole you dug for yourself and buried yourself in, and it was ten years deep!
She fixed her problem. She went against her gut and then started to trust her gut to get herself out.
Bethenny's best video yet!! Great advice, right and left. The best advice that i can relate to is, have a plan. Don't react, have a plan and execute.
This might be too personal, but I wonder if you would share what the last straw was for you and how you told Jason it was over. Did he go crazy?
I've been following you, your career and your life for almost 15 years now. have tons of respect to you and i have learned a lot. no doubt this mini series is very honest and conveys many smart lessons. having said that, once the custody was settled, it was just about money- and it was either going to him or the lawyers. and it was definitely costing you your health. i would have said good bye to some hard earned millions but would gift myself earlier freedom and redemption. and i am beyond sure your ex did many wrong things, but there is a narrative here of you being a victim, trying to be holier than the pope and then becoming your own saviour. you never mentioned one good or kind thing about your ex. a person you once chose. he had to do at least one thing right, tiny as it may be. cause this feels very one-sided
Maybe rhose things sge was attracted to, where all lies?maybe he pretended to have traits, that were lies?
If that was fraudulant noterization couldnt someone be in huge trouble
You are a true survivor ! I admire and respect that of you. I applaud your tenacity and your inner strength. But I simply adore your scrappiness and your fabulosity. 💯👍, 💌 & 🙏
I'm curious if that apartment not had so much bad juju attached to it would you have kept it? It was such a beautiful place but totally get why you sold it. I'd probably would have set fire to the damn place!! 😂😂
I really really really get this!🙏💯❤️😉🌞😎
Same 🎉
Keep bringing it Bethany! Love your unflinching honesty and directness!
I believe teaching "strength" to children is one of the most important lessons to teach them. Bethenny, you truly are an inspiration to so many women, including myself. I am presently going through one of the toughest times of my life right now that involves an abusive relationship, and I am finding comfort in your strength and what you're persevered. I've been struggling with health issues which led to major financial issues as well. I need to get out, I have to get out, but have no way out. Like you I also have no family, no support and no where to turn. I too am from NY and made a huge mistake to head south to move in with someone who is beyond a monster. I hope and pray that somehow someway I find a way to return. I sincerely from the bottom of my heart thank you for giving me strength that I wasn't taught. And yes, I am a full grown woman now and it makes me so angry I did this to myself. I am in tears.
I’m so sorry you’re going through such a tough time. Get a notepad map out what you would like to do. Tackle one step at a time once you past the first step check it off, each step you take or decision you’ll make check it off. Get on your knees and pray if you can’t find the words just knee the tears will come but it helps. God will make a way for you but you have to ask, believing that you will receive. Pray let go and let God. He will see you through it may not be next week or next month but he makes all things beautiful but in his time. May God bless you, may he give you wisdom, knowledge and understanding. May he give you the strength and the courage to keep going each day. I ask that he touch you with his healing touch from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet. He made your body and he has the power to heal and restore you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!
All the best to you I hope you have a goodnight.
@@luwiesgirl thank you for kind words of encouragement. Unfortunately what I need to do involves the finances to do so, I need to get out, which I presently do not have. But thank you again, so much for your kind words
Yup.. You gotta save yourself
Having a bad work week... needed to hear this. Life is hard, get to the core of the shit and fix it. Thank you x
Thank You for updating the Vlog Title format for us peeps out here with Sheldonitis.
Your vs your
Thank you!
PROS PLAY HURT! AMEN.
Bethenny. Seriously. You are an incredible human being. The vicious petty vile dirtbag stuff you were forced to accept bc he was just a small parasitic TURD…is unreal. Brynn could not have a better role model than her mom. And kids know who tried to put them first vs using them as a sledgehammer to beat the other parent. He will have to answer for that shit someday.
You are amazing. This topic is extremely important. Thank you for sharing a road map through hell. It will help countless women out there being preyed upon by weak opportunistic partners. 💪🏼 😎
thanks for sharing this
Glad you had Denis in your life at that time.
Why would you buy a home in the Hampton knowing your daughter gets car sick and you have to drive her to NYC on a regular basis?
Because there are meds for it and she can face forward helps.
I'm so very proud of you Bethenny. ❤
Needed to hear this today. Thank you.
💯 Bethenny, with everything you said!!
Great advice " Never ever assume " don't know how you done it all Bethany but you did 💃
I love the music
Love is a four letter word.😂
She wants to win. Meaning she once thought she was a loser. Everything is about winning or appearing to win. She’ll get to a place where she doesn’t need to “win” because she won’t care what people think.
Jason was a creep
Queen B ❤ Women helping Women !!!
You didn’t deserve any of that. I remember everything you went through My daughter still LOVES you and she’s 30 !! She was a little girl when we were first introduced to you. You were always everyone’s favorite!!❤❤❤❤. Beautiful !!!!
God I love the “pros play hurt”. I’m an addiction counselor, I often ask people what makes you think everydays going to feel good? How entitled are you, some days are survival.
As an addiction counselor you must know everyday is survival for an addiction. I hope you don't really say that
@@wendycowe1144every day is a survival for everyone. Addicts are not special.
@@wendycowe1144 I do. Faking a soft landing is bullshit In recovery.
Nothing is easy. Choose your hard!!!
Fighting for your freedom was much easier for you because you had the $$$. I’m running out of money to keep fighting. I was a stay at home mom.
Write that book …. 💕💕💕
Thank you! Thank you! 💜💜😘
Bethany, I’m definitely a super fan and I really like how you communicate so well but you know things can be easy you know you’re saying this is an easy this isn’t easy this isn’t easy I don’t think that’s really true. I think that your thoughts about the subject make it more difficult I mean you knew yourself that you did not should not be marrying this man on the day you’re marrying him so you made your life so difficult and for you to preach that everything is hard is just kind of, putting a kibosh on peoples lives you know and you’re in the position to like enhance peoples lives rather than you know push them down, so it wasn’t easy for you, but it is easy for many people who believe it’s easy that’s the whole thing that desire for it to be easy to thought of it to be easy the announcement that’s easy is the most important part in any endeavor you go through your mind is more important than any action any action
Pro's play hurt!😅❤
The thing that blows my mind; is hindsight. I look back and think; not even my worst enemy could have chosen a worse person who would try to destroy my life.
I don't assume I'm the smartest but I don't assume others are smarter. I'm a recovering addict. I am days away from my 5th year sober. Because all my doctors know I'm a recovering addict, sometimes they don't want to do things or give me certain medications out of fear of a relapse. Fair I guess. I also don't always get the answer I'm looking for so I've had to do the research myself and I have to say... so far I have been right and been able to move forward with my doctors and receive the care I need. I know this isn't very specific but it's always a good idea to do your own homework. Never before have humans had so much information literally at their fingertips and I feel like never before have people been so stupid 😂
❤
I see Cookie in the window as the tree. She is with her always 😊
I will agree. I wish there was a little more content, but it's not a bashing tell all podcast, but a get smart podcast. I'm curious to know/ learn how you processed all these emotions, did you have ptsd as time went on the body mind soul can only handle so much. What were you thoughts during the difficult years.
Good for u
My what great timing I have
Best advice…. Never assume someone is smarter than you! Do the research… critically thinking
Why wasn't someone prosecuted for FRAUD for faking a signature/notary? JAIL.
You feel the pertinent about your own home as you had very broken unstable home. People on stay families from childhood and fight right mate don't feel that way
I think you are amazing
smart smarts.
❤ gotta save yourself, always & forever.
No one is incentivized more then you. Every number has to match my number. I never assume any one is smarter than me.
Save yourself ❤
so wait... did he get half the sale price of the apartment?? Maybe I missed it
No he didn't
I desperately wanted to end my marriage, so I relinquished my alimony.
Plus, I was the higher earner, and my ex retired in his 40’s. 😡
Going through your divorce over a 10 year period had to be an astronomical amount of money. I know you obviously were able to stay the course but how in the world was he able to fund this battle for so long? I certainly hope the courts didn’t make you pay for his fees.
Love tris video. And now you are ready yo start your own religion ❤💪
Always so vague. Why not details?