Tori, your eloquence is really something special. In my opinion, your compassionate presence alone contains a healing energy. If you ever created a course or did more of these types of videos to help patients directly at a large scale, I think your efforts would be profoundly successful and transformative for so many.
@@lalaithan exactly, "safe" in brackets. she comes across like a maniac who's also a really good actor and has perfectly learned the mannerisms of a kindly and happy caring person, and doing them in just a slightly exagerrated way, but is actually dead inside, from some cliche psychopath killer movie with bodies in a meat locker. She reminds me of Dr, Gross from Adventure Time with her controlled and carefully choreographed, seemingly motherly voice. She is gorgeous, talented and very articulate, both in her speech and in her motions, very well built too, but she is definitely playing a character.
@@coppersense999 I'm aware of what that is but if anyone needs that it's the lady in the video lol. she also needs to be hospitalized for a little bit for being a psycho leader of some secret blood-cult
I feel this is exactly what I needed to learn! I have CPTSD, and developed chronic fatigue after an excessively stressful career and toxic relationship. There's all this ruminating going on in my head and dysregulation of the body. Healing has been very slow but I am still triggered a lot. I am worried when I can ever get back to a more normal life. Appreciate the way you present this information.
I feel you! I have CFS, resulting from a dysregulated limbic system, the root cause being a very stressful childhood and traumas. I hope IFS + psychedelic therapy will help me to rewire my brain :)
Glad it was helpful! Yeah, many therapy models don't really work deeply enough to reach our inner world or body in a meaningful way. So worth exploring experiential therapies, for sure....
I would like to also note to anyone reading this that using psychedelics should be from a professional medical practitioner, not something you bought illegally without knowing the dose of the product. Psychedelic actually caused a lot more extra PTSD for me, and I wanted to share that. Please be on the side of caution when dealing with psychedelics.
This is very interesting. During my integrative group session for my Ketamine therapy program, the host brought up this system and I immediately wanted to know more
Hello, Not sure this is the place, but wanted to tell you that your work is amazing. Having spent the past few years trying to learn from Van der Kolk, Porges, Levine, Mate about polyvagal theory, somatic therapy, IFS etc., I was blown away watching your videos. I watched hours of IFS videos after five minutes I thought “Wow, she is way better at explaining this than Richard Schwartz”. Your voice is calming, you look very nice, and the sound and video quality. Most importantly is that you don’t need a PhD to understand what you are saying. The less safe you feel, the more your parts are activated, the more compromised your cognitive function is. You have made the meaning and application more accessible than anything I’ve seen. I love the bicycle analogy. The emotional danger alarm evolves all the way to the complex patterns and schemas. It’s automatic. I don’t think to myself there was a 8% change in the angle of the pitch in the road therefore I will shift 1.7 pounds of weight to correct angle... It just happens. You also suggested the idea “I am deeper than my pain”. Another way to think of it is that I am not my pain. The pain, the event, the memory, the response, are together like a cloud. I am more like the sky. The 8 C’s. I need to be careful not to forget that I am the sky and think I’m the cloud. Caught up in the darkness, rain or whatever characteristics. I am so much more than that. In that way I like to think that I am what is before the thoughts. The place where the thoughts are happening. When I am suffering, if can recognize that it is not the information causing that state, but its a somatic response generated by the schema or parts, I can return to myself. The IFS dialog is a powerful tool to update the schemas if I can really step back from it. I found that Tara Brach’s RAIN meditation (Recognize, allow, investigate, nurture) also helpful. Often the schema doesn’t have a narrative. We can’t explain to a crying baby that it’s over reacting, it’s safe, there’s no life threat etc. In my case there were many adverse childhood events before and after I was born. The baby feels unsafe because it’s not familiar with the environment. You can swaddle the baby in a blanket or in your arms. Over time this fear response will dissipate. In the same way the more I embrace my suffering in a healthy way the better chance I have to move past it. When we identify with the schemas we feel shame, resentment, anger, anxiety and think the trigger is the cause or that is who I am the schemas become more powerful. Even in therapy or support groups we can find ourselves identifying with the suffering and finding strategies to avoid pain, but never really change the pattern or recover from the trauma. My entire life I have been at war with myself. Shame and attachment trauma have been so difficult to understand. Something to fight and cover up. Your video is very helpful in my effort to stop fighting those parts of me. The clarity of your message has been helping me to return to myself from the clouds. There may be a long way to go but it finally feel like I’m making progress. Sorry for such a long note, I didn’t have time to write a shorter one (MT)... Dean
Beautifully written. This framework (and somatic expericing) provides a logical way out of trauma, low self esteem and disregualtion for us trauma survivors. One that previous therpies haven’t been able to replicate. It is no longer a life sentence
Haven't read all you wrote, but want to echo the opening. Back around 2015 and on, I read van der Kolk, had EMDR and looked at a lot of somatic experiencing type stuff on UA-cam. I was desperately searching for something I never got. A big change came for me when I found Hilary Jacobs Hendel's book on AEDP, but really, its Tori's content I feel I was always looking for back then. Have only been watching it for a couple of days, but am putting the ideas into practice on my own and already feel I've had major breakthroughs and feel so much better. I do also think I'll try to find a therapist to do the work with again now.
I had to pause the video many times to get up out of my seat and scream in gratitude for all of the nuggets in this video. So much of what you shared resonated and I thank you for producing content like this.
Thank you! I've been involved in various modalities of therapy for many years. Most recently, my therapist and I have been doing parts work (and some EMDR). I've never before felt it "working" as I do now. The concept is not always easy to grasp so I was very happy to find your videos. You offer clarity, explanation, and hope that I'm on the right track. I've had a family member tell me "Well, MY therapist doesn't think much of EMDR and parts work." At first, I was really annoyed as it felt like just another attack on my attempts to become healthy and whole. But now, I'm just thankful that I've come to know my therapist and these modalities and can actually feel the difference. I've got a long way to go and sometimes it feels brutal, but it offers strength, stability and hope. These are things I haven't felt for so long I had given up. Anyway, thank you again for these videos and all of your work! It means the world to many of us! 🤗
Beautiful and accessible explanation of what can be an overwhelming topic. You are a natural teacher and communicator. Thank you for all your hard work - what a gift!
This is so helpful, Tori! Best explanation of the underlying neurobiology I've ever heard. Thank you for so generously sharing your wealth of knowledge and experience!
I am new to IFS and your videos are clear, inspiring and healing. Thank you Tori for sharing with such sweet eloquence. Your style of teaching is calm, kind and reassuring.
Tori, your gentleness is so inviting. I took an IFS training and it was so confusing that it was off putting. But whenever I’ve implemented parts language into my sessions with clients it’s been impressive how powerful it has been.
Bravo! Grateful to come across your channel. As an IFS trained therapist working with active duty Army, I appreciate your kind, clear presence and helpful metaphors. Excited to share your videos with my clients. You have a gift, thank you for sharing it 🙏🏽🙏🏻
Oh wow!! I would love the thought that my videos could be of service to those who give up so much to protect others!! Please send along my thanks for all your clients for all that they give!!!
I almost skipped this video because I already know what IFS is, but I'm VERY glad I didn't. You see, while some parts of me feel like IFS makes so much sense, at least one part of me is skeptical and tends to look for more 'scientific' explanations of things. I love the way you explained exactly how IFS makes sense in a scientific way, and I want to go back and listen to this again but take notes this time so I can remind that part (or those parts?) when they try to dissuade me from continuing with IFS therapy. I also just love the way you explain things overall, and the amazing level of compassion in your voice and the things you say. Thank you so much for doing what you do and for creating these videos.
In order to keep things simple for myself, I denied I had parts. Seemed simple right, the less parts, the less work. This only made things worse. The more I chose to focus on fitness and body image, the more I craved and ate junk food. I would sometimes freak out at the thought of having many parts, like I was crazy, so I exiled some. Then I found this approach on yet another 2 a.m. insomnia UA-cam search. Lol. I must admit that denying my parts created more suffering, so the logical approach now is to welcome them all to the party and start mingling. Lol.
This is the best explanation of IFS that I have ever heard Tori!! As a Level 3 trained IFS Practitioner Im always looking for resources for clients and for people who attend my workshops.... I love sending them to your page. I love that you dont use the usual IFS jargon. Yay, yay.
Oh, that's wonderful to hear!! Especially from someone advanced in IFS! Thank you so much for the lovely comment...and for sharing with others. Really appreciate that ;)
I was exhausted and had given up hope of finding something that truly addressed the root of the cyclical depression I have contended with my whole life. I believe I was led to IFS and Dr Tori. Like others I found some information cumbersome and overwhelming and am elated to have found Dr Tori's videos on the subject. My whole being resonates with what she describes so simply and compassionately. I am so grateful for this gift.
Dr. Olds - This was absolutely brilliant. You radiate with compassion and connection. The approach is clear (practically self-evident) with a current of loving compassion. Looking forward to the rest of this series. Thank you.
Thank you so much. This hits me right in the feels, i keep getting emotional without really knowing why. Kinda like some really good punk rock. I have some figuring out to do and this feels like it's going to help. THank you thank you
I'm listening to this and wondering how I'm only hearing about this now. It makes so much sense! I have a very strong inner critic which causes me to work very hard without any sense of achievement. It leaves me feeling constantly anxious, then tired. The parts model really connects with me and I'd like to learn more. You have explained it very well Dr Tori.
I’m always astounded at how many disciplines (especially psychology and spirituality) overlap, compliment one another, or just plain say the same thing using different words lol.
I am super impressed with Dr. Olds's approach. It's like re-learning IFS all over again. I am blown away at the simplicity in the complex model she presents. Wow, amazing. I am going to re-look at how I present IFS to my Clients. I have used her content in my meet and greet with new clients. I have been seeing some things that did bother me about IFS, and this may not be the spot to say anything, but I was not aware that IFS therapists were charging $250-$325 an hour (yes this does depend on where you live) for IFS sessions. I am sure they believe they are worth it, and I want to support those parts of them that are so confident. But I believe Dr. Schwartz's mission to heal the globe starts with us IFS trained practitioners being willing to make IFS affordable. People should not have to take on a second job in order to get access to it. I am super passionate about this style of therapy and believe everyone should have access to it. Thank you Dr. Olds for being so clear and helpful in your explanations. Your content is making a huge difference.
Hey I agree. So excited tha I found on another one of Tori's videos. Want to support your message and Tori. Her content has explained these things better than my origional therapist. I had to stop going to therapy because it was too expensive. IFS for the People!!!!
Thank you for this series! I've been doing IFS therapy and I've really struggled to try and explain it to my husband. I'm going to send him this series instead.
Clearly, deeply and beautifully put. I learn so much listening to your videos Tori - I return to then often as there is so much in each. There is so much hope and warmth in your message.
I really appreciate the explanation of how to think about internal parts. I'm one of those people that has struggled with that - less because of the concept itself, but more-so as it relates to speaking to these parts as individuals. I think as a recovering addict I developed something of an aversion to it because it felt like I was supposed to be disowning or separating from some of myself whenever I'd hear someone talk about their addiction as something that was "out to get them". It's very helpful to hear a clear explanation of a more nuanced perspective that isn't so adversarial. Looking forward to watching the subsequent videos.
This is SUCH a helpful explanation and introduction to IFS! I started working on IFS recently at my therapist's suggestion, but it's been hard to explain how/why it works to other people. The idea of having subpersonalities feels intuitive for me as the person actually experiencing working through trauma, but many videos on IFS do a poor job of explaining the actual scientific ideas behind why parts exist. It's often an explanation from common phrases, or abstract ideas in the popular consciousness, but explaining parts as learned ways of being and behaving that make up part of the whole of who we are feels like a more solid way of explaining the rationale behind IFS.
I'm glad you said IFS is not for multiple personality disorders only. I had a therapist who didn't showed me how to find my parts. Just told me I had to do shadow work but not how. I think she put into my mind I had much more unknown parts and was surprised I had too few. I'm really confused and I think I felt push about naming parts that are just feelings or character traits not parts. I think she planted ideas which were not mine. Other said identity or personality is just one and if I had parts I have multiple personality disorder.
Thank you so much for this video. Both as someone who had their first real taste of parts work therapy just today for myself, and as an incoming mental health counseling grad student.
Just sent this video to a client who has never heard of parts. I am moved almost to tears to have your very clear and understandable video available to introduce such an important concept to people. I love your tone, the way you do it and the credibility that you back yourself up with. Thanks a million.
I started this with my therapist very recently, after being very confused as to what this all really is, you made it all make sense! Ill admit, even the way Schwartz explained it didn't really click, your explanation made that lightbulb go off. I can't wait to watch the rest of your videos... however right now I'm going to listen to the part of me that's telling me it needs a nap 😂
I'm 32, a former addict been clean for a year +, I'm looking to get back to therapy this time using the IFS model. I still haven't heard someone explain it that well, I'm starting IFS therapy next week and so excited ! Thank you for the informative and beautifully explained playlist you made about the topic. You're the reason I'm going back to therapy❤
Thank you! I’m glad you found the video informative. I’ve definitely considered learning Sign Language, it’s such a beautiful and important skill. It’s something I’d love to explore more in the future! Thanks for the suggestion! 😊
I'm sorry, it's very triggering all the giggling and change in volume of tone of voice when you talk about something you find "obvious", to me. Like when you explain something then deliver the d'oh moment you giggle and then you change your tone of voice to louder. It is so annoying to some part of me. I tried to listen because this seems nicely structured but I prefer a more neutral and with less emotion in general type of presentation, especially without giggling as if the thing is d'oh obvious. My loss I guess but I just can't be peaceful when listening. Too bad.
Yeah...sorry about that. I sort of just talk the way I talk (been told not to use my hands so much). But this feedback is probably good to remember in general...I bet I could change it a bit. Cause I don't want to be condescending...
I have to agree with this. I found the tone of voice and the strange finger gestures far too distracting to take this seriously. I tried not looking and just listening, tried muting it and just reading CC, but it's not working for me at all. Perhaps with a better presenter who takes a more factual approach to this kind of information. But this made me incredibly uncomfortable..
@@DrToriOlds I’m sorry. I do think people who have various traumas around being made fun of or laughed at or scoffed at might end up on your videos and internally have similar types of reactions to gestures like that. But it’s not because it’s you, it’s the gestures themselves which somehow are reminiscent of some hurt. You are obviously very capable and intelligent and your video is structured super nicely, you got lots of skill. I didn’t mean to bring you down, I did write that right when I was trying to watch the video. But i do think there may be some good feedback in that if you’ll keep doing videos about mental stuff. All the best. Edit: to add. that again it’s not YOU. my reaction or even the commenter above, it’s not personal; it’s just reminiscent of something that has hurt us. and you obviously have no control over that nor responsibility, but you may choose to take the feedback to see if you want to change things in your delivery so you can hook an even wider audience if that is something you wish. Have a good day and wish you peaceful and serene comment sections. 👋
Thanks Jo! I'll be doing a livestream after the 'premiere' (when the next video first launches) next tuesday...so feel free to come if you'd like to chat! ;)
Yeah I was watching some of the schema-mode videos, and was struck how data-oriented it is. It even shares some lingo with the esoteric world of relational databases: functions; triggers; schemas. The “schema mode” approach seems more research-focused, more interested in efficient categorization of individuals of a cohort (and that’s ok) compared to IFS’s focus on what’s best for the individual.
Thank u so much for going to the trouble of rooting this wonderful therapy in science - I think it goes a long way to breaking down barriers and giving those who r more logically minded a chance to experience something new :)
I like your ideas helping and breaking down complex human beings.letting people understand how to keep going forward.I have brought all my family's likes into my own instead of liking my own .colors animals food.
Hey Tori, I just watched your first video on IFS. How Wonderful! I'm a therapist trained in Psychosynthesis. I found your video to be a wonderful introduction to what I have learned as Sub-personalities. Uplifting! Thank you! Mark
It's really too bad that this is a revolutionary therapy when this is something humans have known about for thousands of years hahahaha the Greek Gods are just archetypes/pure forms of the nuanced parts of ourselves we can experience in ourselves. I'm glad IFS is becoming more popular! It's definitely needed.
See you now the details of human internal sticky parts that I thought only our creator new . And look at you you healing me and I didn't have to crowd you or touch your clothes. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE !!!😮😮😮😮🎉
Thank you for making this series. In particular, thanks for being accessible without losing the details... it's important to capture the nuances around IFS, like why we call them "protectors". Becoming our own best friend is a journey, and I hope this series helps show me some tools I can use on my way.
The "dropping IQ" part literally got MY JAW ON THE FLOOR. Like what... it was not just a feeling of "being dumber" around my dad, my brain just protected me by conditioning itself?? Thank you and bless you for this video
Late to the party but I recently started doing IFS therapy and this is a very educational video that helped me understand better what's the approach and purpose. When I was introduced to it I was very confused and not sure if it was suitable for me, but I understand that "the part" of me that is resisting doing the work is just trying to protect me from looking straight at some hurtful things I need to address with love, patience, and compassion and I am giving it a try. Thank you for your video.
Thanks for this gentle introduction! I've never heard of IFS but recognise some concepts from it. I plan to watch more. (Thank you also for the mention of Longfellow. I'm now devouring his poetry.)
Wow, I love this. My instructor just suggested I look into this...really great theory! I would love to delve deeper, but as a student, I don't have a lot of time to do so! :( Thank you for this video.
An excellent presentation but I still am puzzled that these parts are treated like little people that must be cajoled and spoken directly apart from the real self. After the healing do they hang around?
Ok, so my inner child feels worthless and not worth fighting for, without any dreams or ambitions. How do I find a part of me that believes in theirself to be the one talking to my inner child, when I can’t see of feel it anywhere?
Hey do you work with ppl online? I'd love to do some sessions of either therapy or coaching with you. I'm enjoying your videos a lot and finding you easy to trust.
I love the way you teach. Each piece of information is so clearly explained and each step builds on the last. You have the gift of expressing simply while honoring the complexity. You make it so accessible and your presence is inviting, respectful and grounded. Thanks so much for freely sharing this.
How do you deal with introjects from other people that are basically like their voice in your head and tell you their age for some reason? Do you treat them as protective by viewing them as your parts that are trying to protect you by taking on their voice?
I have been working within the IFS model for a couple years. I am *so grateful* for this very clear video. I plan to share it with others and watch more of your videos! Thank you!!! 🤩💞
Love the metaphors and way IFS is described in this video! Have already shared the idea of parallel processors :) so helpful. Thank you for sharing this Tori!
So articulate and so much passion(and compassion) in this video. Science-based information but also with respect of personal subjective experiences. It well explains my questions and reflections on implicit learning in a simple but clear way. I would not miss a word if Dr Olds is my counseling psychology teacher!
Wow this explains why i feel blank in tense emotional moments. Say my girlfriend is mad at me for something i did. I ask her whats boyhering her and she says nothing. And it just makes me feel paralyzed in the mind. What do i do now?
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s completely normal to feel paralyzed or blank in tense emotional situations. IFS therapy can be incredibly helpful in these moments by helping you connect with and understand the different parts of yourself that are reacting. It might be useful to approach the situation with curiosity and compassion, Ask yourself what part of you is feeling paralyzed, and what it might need in that moment. Sending you both positive energy as you navigate this! 💛
Wow! I just returned from visiting family & felt very judgemental, out-of-sorts, stymed 😢 & this explanation of the human experience helped me feel ❤ compassionate & centered. 😅😊 Thank you! 💖
I’m really sorry to hear about your past experience. It’s unfortunate that you had to go through that, but I’m glad you’re exploring new perspectives now. If you ever need to talk or have any questions, I’m here to help. 💚
My therapist brought IFS up during my session today and I was confused why she called this thought that popped up a product of a "protector"; this video helped clear that up label and filled in some blanks on the theory/strategy. I might already kind of do this via the original characters I've made up over the years that I think I unintentionally modelled off of different parts of myself lol. Anyways, thank you for the info!
Tori, your eloquence is really something special. In my opinion, your compassionate presence alone contains a healing energy. If you ever created a course or did more of these types of videos to help patients directly at a large scale, I think your efforts would be profoundly successful and transformative for so many.
Her presence is soothing and "safe". 🥰
@@lalaithan exactly, "safe" in brackets. she comes across like a maniac who's also a really good actor and has perfectly learned the mannerisms of a kindly and happy caring person, and doing them in just a slightly exagerrated way, but is actually dead inside, from some cliche psychopath killer movie with bodies in a meat locker. She reminds me of Dr, Gross from Adventure Time with her controlled and carefully choreographed, seemingly motherly voice.
She is gorgeous, talented and very articulate, both in her speech and in her motions, very well built too, but she is definitely playing a character.
@@infinitestareyou might find shadow work interesting. Sending good thoughts! ❤
@@coppersense999 I'm aware of what that is but if anyone needs that it's the lady in the video lol. she also needs to be hospitalized for a little bit for being a psycho leader of some secret blood-cult
@@infinitestare that was quite a spin!
I feel this is exactly what I needed to learn! I have CPTSD, and developed chronic fatigue after an excessively stressful career and toxic relationship. There's all this ruminating going on in my head and dysregulation of the body. Healing has been very slow but I am still triggered a lot. I am worried when I can ever get back to a more normal life. Appreciate the way you present this information.
I feel you! I have CFS, resulting from a dysregulated limbic system, the root cause being a very stressful childhood and traumas. I hope IFS + psychedelic therapy will help me to rewire my brain :)
Glad it was helpful! Yeah, many therapy models don't really work deeply enough to reach our inner world or body in a meaningful way. So worth exploring experiential therapies, for sure....
Yeah, IFS and psychedelic therapy is a good combo and starting point!! Hope they are impactful for you...
I would like to also note to anyone reading this that using psychedelics should be from a professional medical practitioner, not something you bought illegally without knowing the dose of the product. Psychedelic actually caused a lot more extra PTSD for me, and I wanted to share that. Please be on the side of caution when dealing with psychedelics.
This is very interesting. During my integrative group session for my Ketamine therapy program, the host brought up this system and I immediately wanted to know more
Hello,
Not sure this is the place, but wanted to tell you that your work is amazing. Having spent the past few years trying to learn from Van der Kolk, Porges, Levine, Mate about polyvagal theory, somatic therapy, IFS etc., I was blown away watching your videos. I watched hours of IFS videos after five minutes I thought “Wow, she is way better at explaining this than Richard Schwartz”.
Your voice is calming, you look very nice, and the sound and video quality. Most importantly is that you don’t need a PhD to understand what you are saying. The less safe you feel, the more your parts are activated, the more compromised your cognitive function is. You have made the meaning and application more accessible than anything I’ve seen.
I love the bicycle analogy. The emotional danger alarm evolves all the way to the complex patterns and schemas. It’s automatic. I don’t think to myself there was a 8% change in the angle of the pitch in the road therefore I will shift 1.7 pounds of weight to correct angle... It just happens.
You also suggested the idea “I am deeper than my pain”. Another way to think of it is that I am not my pain. The pain, the event, the memory, the response, are together like a cloud. I am more like the sky. The 8 C’s. I need to be careful not to forget that I am the sky and think I’m the cloud. Caught up in the darkness, rain or whatever characteristics. I am so much more than that.
In that way I like to think that I am what is before the thoughts. The place where the thoughts are happening. When I am suffering, if can recognize that it is not the information causing that state, but its a somatic response generated by the schema or parts, I can return to myself. The IFS dialog is a powerful tool to update the schemas if I can really step back from it. I found that Tara Brach’s RAIN meditation (Recognize, allow, investigate, nurture) also helpful.
Often the schema doesn’t have a narrative. We can’t explain to a crying baby that it’s over reacting, it’s safe, there’s no life threat etc. In my case there were many adverse childhood events before and after I was born. The baby feels unsafe because it’s not familiar with the environment. You can swaddle the baby in a blanket or in your arms. Over time this fear response will dissipate. In the same way the more I embrace my suffering in a healthy way the better chance I have to move past it.
When we identify with the schemas we feel shame, resentment, anger, anxiety and think the trigger is the cause or that is who I am the schemas become more powerful. Even in therapy or support groups we can find ourselves identifying with the suffering and finding strategies to avoid pain, but never really change the pattern or recover from the trauma.
My entire life I have been at war with myself. Shame and attachment trauma have been so difficult to understand. Something to fight and cover up. Your video is very helpful in my effort to stop fighting those parts of me. The clarity of your message has been helping me to return to myself from the clouds. There may be a long way to go but it finally feel like I’m making progress.
Sorry for such a long note, I didn’t have time to write a shorter one (MT)...
Dean
Beautifully written. This framework (and somatic expericing) provides a logical way out of trauma, low self esteem and disregualtion for us trauma survivors. One that previous therpies haven’t been able to replicate. It is no longer a life sentence
Dean, thank you❤❤❤❤ what you wrote helped me immensely
Haven't read all you wrote, but want to echo the opening. Back around 2015 and on, I read van der Kolk, had EMDR and looked at a lot of somatic experiencing type stuff on UA-cam. I was desperately searching for something I never got.
A big change came for me when I found Hilary Jacobs Hendel's book on AEDP, but really, its Tori's content I feel I was always looking for back then. Have only been watching it for a couple of days, but am putting the ideas into practice on my own and already feel I've had major breakthroughs and feel so much better. I do also think I'll try to find a therapist to do the work with again now.
I had to pause the video many times to get up out of my seat and scream in gratitude for all of the nuggets in this video. So much of what you shared resonated and I thank you for producing content like this.
Oh thanks so much for this very kind comment! So glad to receive it! :)
You explained this SO thoroughly. Oh my goodness. Teaching is your calling. I've never seen information delivered so clearly and warmly.
As a new therapist, the way you explained this gives me hope for myself and my clients. Now I feel I need a therapist.
Thank you! I've been involved in various modalities of therapy for many years. Most recently, my therapist and I have been doing parts work (and some EMDR). I've never before felt it "working" as I do now. The concept is not always easy to grasp so I was very happy to find your videos. You offer clarity, explanation, and hope that I'm on the right track. I've had a family member tell me "Well, MY therapist doesn't think much of EMDR and parts work." At first, I was really annoyed as it felt like just another attack on my attempts to become healthy and whole. But now, I'm just thankful that I've come to know my therapist and these modalities and can actually feel the difference. I've got a long way to go and sometimes it feels brutal, but it offers strength, stability and hope. These are things I haven't felt for so long I had given up.
Anyway, thank you again for these videos and all of your work! It means the world to many of us! 🤗
I wish psychology videos were regularly produced this well. This is visually and auditorily one of the best I've ever seen.
thank for the kind words! 💚
@@DrToriOlds ur gr8 :)😍
Beautiful and accessible explanation of what can be an overwhelming topic. You are a natural teacher and communicator. Thank you for all your hard work - what a gift!
Thanks Billy!! Really appreciate it ;)
This is so helpful, Tori! Best explanation of the underlying neurobiology I've ever heard. Thank you for so generously sharing your wealth of knowledge and experience!
Thanks for the kind comment, Nancy!! Truly appreciate it ;)
I am new to IFS and your videos are clear, inspiring and healing. Thank you Tori for sharing with such sweet eloquence. Your style of teaching is calm, kind and reassuring.
Tori, your gentleness is so inviting. I took an IFS training and it was so confusing that it was off putting. But whenever I’ve implemented parts language into my sessions with clients it’s been impressive how powerful it has been.
Bravo! Grateful to come across your channel. As an IFS trained therapist working with active duty Army, I appreciate your kind, clear presence and helpful metaphors. Excited to share your videos with my clients. You have a gift, thank you for sharing it 🙏🏽🙏🏻
Oh wow!! I would love the thought that my videos could be of service to those who give up so much to protect others!! Please send along my thanks for all your clients for all that they give!!!
where do you start from
I actually met my internal family and I was shocked to see that they were actual beings and I even recognized them it was very life changing.
I almost skipped this video because I already know what IFS is, but I'm VERY glad I didn't. You see, while some parts of me feel like IFS makes so much sense, at least one part of me is skeptical and tends to look for more 'scientific' explanations of things. I love the way you explained exactly how IFS makes sense in a scientific way, and I want to go back and listen to this again but take notes this time so I can remind that part (or those parts?) when they try to dissuade me from continuing with IFS therapy. I also just love the way you explain things overall, and the amazing level of compassion in your voice and the things you say. Thank you so much for doing what you do and for creating these videos.
In order to keep things simple for myself, I denied I had parts. Seemed simple right, the less parts, the less work. This only made things worse. The more I chose to focus on fitness and body image, the more I craved and ate junk food. I would sometimes freak out at the thought of having many parts, like I was crazy, so I exiled some. Then I found this approach on yet another 2 a.m. insomnia UA-cam search. Lol. I must admit that denying my parts created more suffering, so the logical approach now is to welcome them all to the party and start mingling. Lol.
This is the best explanation of IFS that I have ever heard Tori!! As a Level 3 trained IFS Practitioner Im always looking for resources for clients and for people who attend my workshops.... I love sending them to your page. I love that you dont use the usual IFS jargon. Yay, yay.
Oh, that's wonderful to hear!! Especially from someone advanced in IFS! Thank you so much for the lovely comment...and for sharing with others. Really appreciate that ;)
I was exhausted and had given up hope of finding something that truly addressed the root of the cyclical depression I have contended with my whole life. I believe I was led to IFS and Dr Tori. Like others I found some information cumbersome and overwhelming and am elated to have found Dr Tori's videos on the subject. My whole being resonates with what she describes so simply and compassionately. I am so grateful for this gift.
Dr. Olds - This was absolutely brilliant. You radiate with compassion and connection. The approach is clear (practically self-evident) with a current of loving compassion. Looking forward to the rest of this series. Thank you.
Thank you! Couldn't stop crying the whole video
Thank you Dr. Olds! You have such a gift for making complex ideas easy to understand! Keep these videos coming! All of the parts of me appreciate you!
Thank you, Julie! Will do! :)
Thank you so much. This hits me right in the feels, i keep getting emotional without really knowing why. Kinda like some really good punk rock. I have some figuring out to do and this feels like it's going to help. THank you thank you
I'm listening to this and wondering how I'm only hearing about this now. It makes so much sense! I have a very strong inner critic which causes me to work very hard without any sense of achievement. It leaves me feeling constantly anxious, then tired. The parts model really connects with me and I'd like to learn more. You have explained it very well Dr Tori.
I receive IFS therapy and have been learning things from your videos. Thanks so much for your clear explanations. I can't wait for the next one!
Thanks Eric! That's great to hear :)
I’m always astounded at how many disciplines (especially psychology and spirituality) overlap, compliment one another, or just plain say the same thing using different words lol.
I am super impressed with Dr. Olds's approach. It's like re-learning IFS all over again. I am blown away at the simplicity in the complex model she presents. Wow, amazing. I am going to re-look at how I present IFS to my Clients. I have used her content in my meet and greet with new clients. I have been seeing some things that did bother me about IFS, and this may not be the spot to say anything, but I was not aware that IFS therapists were charging $250-$325 an hour (yes this does depend on where you live) for IFS sessions. I am sure they believe they are worth it, and I want to support those parts of them that are so confident. But I believe Dr. Schwartz's mission to heal the globe starts with us IFS trained practitioners being willing to make IFS affordable. People should not have to take on a second job in order to get access to it. I am super passionate about this style of therapy and believe everyone should have access to it. Thank you Dr. Olds for being so clear and helpful in your explanations. Your content is making a huge difference.
Hey I agree. So excited tha I found on another one of Tori's videos. Want to support your message and Tori. Her content has explained these things better than my origional therapist. I had to stop going to therapy because it was too expensive. IFS for the People!!!!
Thank you for this series! I've been doing IFS therapy and I've really struggled to try and explain it to my husband. I'm going to send him this series instead.
Clearly, deeply and beautifully put. I learn so much listening to your videos Tori - I return to then often as there is so much in each. There is so much hope and warmth in your message.
Awe, thanks Tony. You're the best...great seeing you today! ;)
I really appreciate the explanation of how to think about internal parts. I'm one of those people that has struggled with that - less because of the concept itself, but more-so as it relates to speaking to these parts as individuals. I think as a recovering addict I developed something of an aversion to it because it felt like I was supposed to be disowning or separating from some of myself whenever I'd hear someone talk about their addiction as something that was "out to get them". It's very helpful to hear a clear explanation of a more nuanced perspective that isn't so adversarial. Looking forward to watching the subsequent videos.
This is SUCH a helpful explanation and introduction to IFS! I started working on IFS recently at my therapist's suggestion, but it's been hard to explain how/why it works to other people. The idea of having subpersonalities feels intuitive for me as the person actually experiencing working through trauma, but many videos on IFS do a poor job of explaining the actual scientific ideas behind why parts exist. It's often an explanation from common phrases, or abstract ideas in the popular consciousness, but explaining parts as learned ways of being and behaving that make up part of the whole of who we are feels like a more solid way of explaining the rationale behind IFS.
I'm glad you said IFS is not for multiple personality disorders only. I had a therapist who didn't showed me how to find my parts. Just told me I had to do shadow work but not how. I think she put into my mind I had much more unknown parts and was surprised I had too few.
I'm really confused and I think I felt push about naming parts that are just feelings or character traits not parts.
I think she planted ideas which were not mine. Other said identity or personality is just one and if I had parts I have multiple personality disorder.
Thank you so much for this video. Both as someone who had their first real taste of parts work therapy just today for myself, and as an incoming mental health counseling grad student.
Oh wow! That's really cool!! So glad you could hear the explanation right after experiencing some of your own parts work! Very cool...glad to help ;)
Just sent this video to a client who has never heard of parts. I am moved almost to tears to have your very clear and understandable video available to introduce such an important concept to people. I love your tone, the way you do it and the credibility that you back yourself up with. Thanks a million.
I started this with my therapist very recently, after being very confused as to what this all really is, you made it all make sense! Ill admit, even the way Schwartz explained it didn't really click, your explanation made that lightbulb go off. I can't wait to watch the rest of your videos... however right now I'm going to listen to the part of me that's telling me it needs a nap 😂
Oh, so glad to hear this! Thanks for sharing:)
She has an incredible way of making very complex concepts easy to digest. There is no decoding necessary. I love her videos
where do you start?
I'm 32, a former addict been clean for a year +, I'm looking to get back to therapy this time using the IFS model. I still haven't heard someone explain it that well, I'm starting IFS therapy next week and so excited ! Thank you for the informative and beautifully explained playlist you made about the topic. You're the reason I'm going back to therapy❤
Oh, that’s great to hear!! Thanks for telling me, Marin! :)
Wonderful. Very informative. Have you ever considered learning Sign Language?
Thank you! I’m glad you found the video informative. I’ve definitely considered learning Sign Language, it’s such a beautiful and important skill. It’s something I’d love to explore more in the future! Thanks for the suggestion! 😊
Really appreciate all your content. As a professor, I also recognize how much time goes into scripting, delivering, and producing these. So smooth!
I'm sorry, it's very triggering all the giggling and change in volume of tone of voice when you talk about something you find "obvious", to me.
Like when you explain something then deliver the d'oh moment you giggle and then you change your tone of voice to louder. It is so annoying to some part of me. I tried to listen because this seems nicely structured but I prefer a more neutral and with less emotion in general type of presentation, especially without giggling as if the thing is d'oh obvious.
My loss I guess but I just can't be peaceful when listening. Too bad.
Yeah...sorry about that. I sort of just talk the way I talk (been told not to use my hands so much). But this feedback is probably good to remember in general...I bet I could change it a bit. Cause I don't want to be condescending...
I have to agree with this. I found the tone of voice and the strange finger gestures far too distracting to take this seriously. I tried not looking and just listening, tried muting it and just reading CC, but it's not working for me at all. Perhaps with a better presenter who takes a more factual approach to this kind of information. But this made me incredibly uncomfortable..
@@DrToriOlds I’m sorry. I do think people who have various traumas around being made fun of or laughed at or scoffed at might end up on your videos and internally have similar types of reactions to gestures like that. But it’s not because it’s you, it’s the gestures themselves which somehow are reminiscent of some hurt.
You are obviously very capable and intelligent and your video is structured super nicely, you got lots of skill. I didn’t mean to bring you down, I did write that right when I was trying to watch the video. But i do think there may be some good feedback in that if you’ll keep doing videos about mental stuff.
All the best.
Edit: to add. that again it’s not YOU. my reaction or even the commenter above, it’s not personal; it’s just reminiscent of something that has hurt us.
and you obviously have no control over that nor responsibility, but you may choose to take the feedback to see if you want to change things in your delivery so you can hook an even wider audience if that is something you wish.
Have a good day and wish you peaceful and serene comment sections. 👋
Wow! That is the best explanation of this type of therapy. Very clear, concise and easy to understand. Looking forward to the next videos.
Thanks Jo! I'll be doing a livestream after the 'premiere' (when the next video first launches) next tuesday...so feel free to come if you'd like to chat! ;)
Curious, can IFS be used with children or young adults because the real self keeps being referred to as some sort of functional adult
Enneagram isn't particularly scientific, but it does point out 9 powerful uncertainties that ppl create types of "parts" around. Thanks for the vid
Yeah I was watching some of the schema-mode videos, and was struck how data-oriented it is. It even shares some lingo with the esoteric world of relational databases: functions; triggers; schemas. The “schema mode” approach seems more research-focused, more interested in efficient categorization of individuals of a cohort (and that’s ok) compared to IFS’s focus on what’s best for the individual.
This is the best "simple" explination of how and why we create personalities/programs/parts. Thank you for serving the world is such a beautiful way.
Thank u so much for going to the trouble of rooting this wonderful therapy in science - I think it goes a long way to breaking down barriers and giving those who r more logically minded a chance to experience something new :)
That’s great to hear!! Thanks for the kind comment :)
I will be sharing this with my new clients! It is so helpful. Thank you.
I like your ideas helping and breaking down complex human beings.letting people understand how to keep going forward.I have brought all my family's likes into my own instead of liking my own .colors animals food.
these videos are so informative, thank god there is people like you in the world
Hey, the dad gets to be the good guy in an example instead of the abuser.
I’m always bothered by that! My dad was really the good guy, my mom not so much.
Hey Tori, I just watched your first video on IFS. How Wonderful! I'm a therapist trained in Psychosynthesis. I found your video to be a wonderful introduction to what I have learned as Sub-personalities. Uplifting! Thank you! Mark
wow I think listening to her calmed some of my parts. thank you.
It's really too bad that this is a revolutionary therapy when this is something humans have known about for thousands of years hahahaha the Greek Gods are just archetypes/pure forms of the nuanced parts of ourselves we can experience in ourselves. I'm glad IFS is becoming more popular! It's definitely needed.
See you now the details of human internal sticky parts that I thought only our creator new . And look at you you healing me and I didn't have to crowd you or touch your clothes. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE !!!😮😮😮😮🎉
Thank you for making this series. In particular, thanks for being accessible without losing the details... it's important to capture the nuances around IFS, like why we call them "protectors". Becoming our own best friend is a journey, and I hope this series helps show me some tools I can use on my way.
That's great to hear!! Thanks so much! :)
The "dropping IQ" part literally got MY JAW ON THE FLOOR. Like what... it was not just a feeling of "being dumber" around my dad, my brain just protected me by conditioning itself?? Thank you and bless you for this video
Late to the party but I recently started doing IFS therapy and this is a very educational video that helped me understand better what's the approach and purpose. When I was introduced to it I was very confused and not sure if it was suitable for me, but I understand that "the part" of me that is resisting doing the work is just trying to protect me from looking straight at some hurtful things I need to address with love, patience, and compassion and I am giving it a try. Thank you for your video.
Sounds like IFS builds upon Carl Jungs archetypes and shadowork. Would that be a correct assessment?🤔
Thanks for this gentle introduction! I've never heard of IFS but recognise some concepts from it. I plan to watch more.
(Thank you also for the mention of Longfellow. I'm now devouring his poetry.)
Wow, I love this. My instructor just suggested I look into this...really great theory! I would love to delve deeper, but as a student, I don't have a lot of time to do so! :( Thank you for this video.
14:40 Longfellow poem
❤❤❤
Thanks, Tori. That was so helpful! I'm looking forward to the next "parts" (pun intended) indeed! Fantastic.
Thanks so much Dean!! :)
ontologically speaking, what is a part? a mode of the self memorized and solidified by traumatic/troubling patterns?
An excellent presentation but I still am puzzled that these parts are treated like little people that must be cajoled and spoken directly apart from the real self. After the healing do they hang around?
The idea is that parts stay around, but they often take on less extreme roles once relieved. A critic may become a consultant, for example.
So incredibly clear and helpful! Your work is brilliant! We are so lucky to have you!
Lucky to have y'all as well!! ;)
What's the name of the song playing in the background... very soothing
Ok, so my inner child feels worthless and not worth fighting for, without any dreams or ambitions. How do I find a part of me that believes in theirself to be the one talking to my inner child, when I can’t see of feel it anywhere?
Have I missed the reference and appreciation to the founder of IFS, Dr Richard Schwartz?
Hey do you work with ppl online? I'd love to do some sessions of either therapy or coaching with you. I'm enjoying your videos a lot and finding you easy to trust.
Thank you so much for this course. So helpful.
I love the way you teach. Each piece of information is so clearly explained and each step builds on the last. You have the gift of expressing simply while honoring the complexity. You make it so accessible and your presence is inviting, respectful and grounded. Thanks so much for freely sharing this.
How do you deal with introjects from other people that are basically like their voice in your head and tell you their age for some reason? Do you treat them as protective by viewing them as your parts that are trying to protect you by taking on their voice?
Who the artist who produced the image included here of the row of people covering each other's eyes. Really interesting image.
Garcia Shirley Lewis Jennifer Rodriguez Laura
what would you say is the difference of this healthy version of multipllicity with ifs parts and what you called pathological multiple personalities?
If I wanted to start IFS, is it doable to do it by myself? I'm struggling to afford therapy right now
Why would someone need to act differently around a white person? I act the same way around all human beings.
Thank you for producing this wonderful video!
Thanks Courtney!! Appreciate the kind comment!! ;)
I just started learning abt IFS and I love how gentle and clearly you explain things.
I have been working within the IFS model for a couple years. I am *so grateful* for this very clear video. I plan to share it with others and watch more of your videos! Thank you!!! 🤩💞
Hey Everyone! I did an IFS course which you can check out here: ua-cam.com/video/g-cnOFvGUWs/v-deo.html
Can I do this therapy through the book. Or should I read the book and get an ifs Therapist?
Love the metaphors and way IFS is described in this video! Have already shared the idea of parallel processors :) so helpful. Thank you for sharing this Tori!
Thanks Kelly!! Love seeing you on here ;)
What a beautiful way to share the approach with logical and scientific parts. Thank you.
Walker Michael Moore Edward Williams Susan
Could some people be more sensitive to the conversation and thus be labeled with schizophrenia etc
Thank you so much for this Tori, you explain this therapy so clearly and make it understandable.
i love your necklace! where did you get it from!?;)
So articulate and so much passion(and compassion) in this video. Science-based information but also with respect of personal subjective experiences. It well explains my questions and reflections on implicit learning in a simple but clear way. I would not miss a word if Dr Olds is my counseling psychology teacher!
Wow, thank you!
Hi Tori. Thank you for sharing such clear and helpful content. Greetings from San Diego CA
Greetings in return! Thanks for leaving a comment! ;)
Anyone else ever play left, right, center? I view life a lot like that.
what does that even mean.... to relate to my own inner part with compassion?
Or maybe just mad that they or I will never know who I was should have been or would have been.
Never feeling that our true self was known (or supported in its development) is a deep pain, for sure. So some anger there would be healthy indeed....
Has anyone worked with Loch Kelly?
Wow this explains why i feel blank in tense emotional moments. Say my girlfriend is mad at me for something i did. I ask her whats boyhering her and she says nothing. And it just makes me feel paralyzed in the mind. What do i do now?
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s completely normal to feel paralyzed or blank in tense emotional situations. IFS therapy can be incredibly helpful in these moments by helping you connect with and understand the different parts of yourself that are reacting. It might be useful to approach the situation with curiosity and compassion, Ask yourself what part of you is feeling paralyzed, and what it might need in that moment. Sending you both positive energy as you navigate this! 💛
Love this. You have a beautiful way of presenting this way of working. Looking forward to the next video.
Thanks Gale!! Next video up next week (5 total). Thanks for staying tuned ;)
The best! Very helpful for blending the science with the emotion piece. Thanks for sharing your time and knowledge
Thanks for leaving a sweet comment, Lisa! ;) Miss ya...
Wow! I just returned from visiting family & felt very judgemental, out-of-sorts, stymed 😢 & this explanation of the human experience helped me feel ❤ compassionate & centered. 😅😊 Thank you! 💖
Years ago in therapy I got reprimanded for talking about parts; that therapy place did a whole lot of damage.
I’m really sorry to hear about your past experience. It’s unfortunate that you had to go through that, but I’m glad you’re exploring new perspectives now. If you ever need to talk or have any questions, I’m here to help. 💚
My therapist brought IFS up during my session today and I was confused why she called this thought that popped up a product of a "protector"; this video helped clear that up label and filled in some blanks on the theory/strategy. I might already kind of do this via the original characters I've made up over the years that I think I unintentionally modelled off of different parts of myself lol.
Anyways, thank you for the info!
Thanks for such a clear description of IFS. I really appreciate your work in making this so easy to understand!
You're welcome! Thanks for the comment!