Did we KISS before marriage? | Q&A
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
- You asked us a BUNCH of questions on Instagram, so we decided to answer as many as we could! Learn some fun facts about our relationship and family.
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The fact that you admit to kissing before marriage and fighting early in marriage makes me love you two even more. The image of perfection on this platform is dreadful and we need honest, real people who aren't afraid to show life.
I love how John said, we must put God first in our marriage for all relationships to work and be happy! God bless you guys!
I have never understood why kissing before marriage is a problem for so many Christians. When you get married, you are marrying a man, not a boy. You are both adults, and you should both be mature enough to keep healthy boundaries, yet allow some intimacy as well. Kissing doesn’t have to lead to sex if you are both strong in your convictions. My husband and I were engaged for three years before getting married. We did a lot of cuddling and kissing, yet still waited for sex until our wedding night. The fact that we had some level of intimacy together before that night made the wedding night much more comfortable and natural.
Erin R, because kissing can lead to other things, even for the "strongest" of couples, and Christians believe in avoiding the temptation to have sex before marriage. For most couples, it's really hard to wait for sex, especially once the kissing and such begins. You do make a great point that introducing some sort of intimacy (kissing, cuddling) before marriage makes the wedding night intimacy less awkward, or not awkward at all. That said, if a couple is trying to stay pure until marriage, the safest way to ensure that is to just wait 'til marriage to do anything physical, in my opinion, except maybe hand holding. Ha ha. ;)
Oh, also, many couples get married at a very young age, which means they have barely entered adulthood. That "man" is barely a man at that point, and there's
no one more fired up for sex than an 18 year old guy. Know what I mean?
I hear what you are saying, and it’s true that each couple needs to decide what they are comfortable with prior to marriage, but I still struggle with the idea that a couple must go from 0-100 on the intimacy scale on their wedding night. It’s a huge jump, especially for a woman. It’s just my opinion though, and I realize that what works for some might not work for others.
Yeah, it definitely is a huge jump. I'm thinking, though, that most of the time the order of things would flow naturally, especially if the couple can't wait to get to it. I do realize dipping a toe in might be better for some as opposed to diving right in. Again, you made great points.
I loved how honest you both were. You aren't afraid to not sound "perfect". Being genuine and real with your audience is the number 1 thing!
Y’all have a precious family! I love how you answered the question “will you keep having kids until you have a boy.” We have 6 daughters and we get that question all the time. We love and wanted all our girls. God gave us exactly what we needed. We would have loved a boy if we had one but we love our girls just as much! Prayers for your sweet family!
John is cracking me up! Good sense of humor!
Alyssa responded to the question of wanting a boy with complete class and sweetness by turning Miss Macy around and showing her to us. Absolutely perfect example of how to convey your feelings 💞💗❤❣🙏🥰
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@@DawoodTvOfficial You shouldn't advertise ur own channel on someone else's.
Been married over 20 years and that’s great marriage advice!! ❤️ Y’all have a precious family! This was so good!! 🥰
I’ve been married 25 years, raised 11 kids and your answers were awesome❤️You are such a sweet God centered family that I can watch with my teens and feel good about!
My husband and I have been married 30plus and I have to say you guys gave some great advice. One thing that we promise one another was never go to bed mad, you know you’re not promised tomorrow.. Always put God first in your marriage, that’s what worked for us... I love your channel you guys have a gorgeous family....
I love that you covered about homeschool kids still having friends. That is a huge misconception about homeschooled kids.
Alyssa I'm your older than your parents buy a few years if I could offer just one advice that I'm seeing with my nieces and nephews is this keep them away from social media and limit their TV watching and be fully aware Do Spot checks if they're away from you getting lessons or my friends Etc and make sure that they're learning what your family values are.
I can't tell you enough absolute heartache we're going through right now children in this day and age that hair through high school and they're turning away from the church and the values they were brought up I knew that when social media started coming out that without the opportunity to monitor what was being said to them that there would be a problem and I was right sadly I wish I was wrong. I love your family and the Duggars so much and we were brought up in the same very strict family I want to change anything not one single thing it's today it's just pray pray pray.
So true! My homeschooled kids are so social!
Homeschooled kids a lot of times have more social interactions, with different people too rather than the same group of people on one classroom.
Yall are so REAL! People don't realize if you don't stay humble, you can't see the Lord! Love your family
Alyssa when you said a lot of the fans thought you were a snob, I didn't think that just different than all the rest of your family. You're both incredibly beautiful, you got married very early, and you move to Florida and had a large house.
What really showed me who the two of you really were was when John came home from work, Alyssa you packed Ally and would go clean businesses at night and you both work so hard on the cleaning and did a phenomenal job. I felt really bad for the misconception. I was proud of you two and knew you were hard workers, never complained and did what you had to for your family. That's when I had the utmost respect for you two. I was glad that we got to see you more on the show. And know on through your family videos.
Such a beautiful and hardworking family.God bless you all ♥️
I can't believe people thought she was a snob...I think she is so sweet...I wish I was her neighbor.
I am so glad to know you all are so blunt about things in y’all’s lives. Thank you for being transparent.
Y’all are really relationship goals. I just love how y’all interact with each other. :)
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’d love to hear how y’all met, about the courtship and engagement. Also the wedding.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful family with us! Alyssa and John I’ve told you this a few times now that you were a bright light in a dark world. I appreciate your Honesty and Christian values. 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦❤️❤️❤️
I agree with taking time to decorate, you have to feel out the space. But considering you just moved in with 4 little ones what you have done so far looks great! Also thank you for acknowledging that some of the post baby weight loss is attributable to age and metabolism. Some women probably needed to hear that. Maci is super cute!
Maci is adorable! Thanks for answering these questions. You have the most amazingly generous little girls. I love their giving hearts,their joy of sharing, and their loving personalities.
I’ve never perceived you as a snob, but I do enjoy watching you here on UA-cam because I feel like it’s an opportunity to get to know your family more authentically.
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Well said
I didn't think Snob either just more of perfectionist and everything is like so kinda person.
Alyssa don’t tell no lies! Love it lol. You all are such sweethearts! Thank you for taking the time to do this.
Y'all are so sweet together. Thank you for being so open and honest with people. I am glad there are people like y'all out there for younger people to look up too. Too see marriage isn't perfect and you work at the beautiful life together by putting God first.
John, I love your sense of humour. The fact that you answered some of the questions as if they were directed at you, thank you for being so real it is refeshing.
Love this video! You and John are such a cute couple. I didn't get to see your courtship and wedding on Bringing Up Bates,so I enjoy your videos on UA-cam. Ya'll were so honest about arguing the first year of marriage and on kissing before marriage. So good to see the honesty from you. Thanks for sharing your family life with us. Your daughters are beautiful and have such great personalities- looking forward to seeing little Maci's develop.😊
Love these Q&A’s. It’s nice how real y’all are 🙌🏼
This was so great! I loved hearing John! He is so funny and witty and wise. I haven’t heard him much on the show probably just because there’s a lot people to film but you definitely got a keeper 🥰 I love hearing about your family!
Appreciate this video, y’all are so real. Momming is hard and it’s so refreshing when we can be honest with each other
Yay! You answered my question, thank you! Look forward to your videos each week & excited to see new things you add to your forever home! ❤️
4 weeks is impressive to remodel. Your blessed to have such a big family to help on all of life's endeavors and after you have a new baby. Your parents did the hard work but it has benefited all of you kids as you have your families ❤️. Love your mother, Kelly, so much. And Alyssa you are a lovely person it's so nice to see you on here.
Laughed out loud when you said “a lot” to the kiss question 😂
@@abigailreames3268 at the very end, the last question
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I can not get over how much Maci looks like Allie! you all have such sweet girls
I love how honest and real you guys are. Your family is so cute and Maci is so precious!!
Baby Maci is so adorable 🥰 Alyssa your giving me baby fever so bad! I enjoy watching your channel! Have a blessed weekend ❤️
Thank yall for being honest,real and candid with your answers.
I think Maci might be your cutest baby yet! I'm also so glad that you guys decided to start this channel because you were always the most shy/mysteries of the Bates kids/couples
Happy to see you guys today. Thanks for the update on your beautiful family.
I really enjoyed all of this Q & A. Ya’ll keep it real and it’s just precious to hear how your life goes. We raised 4 children also. Twins first (boy & girl) then 5 year gap with a single boy and 20 months later our baby girl. God always blesses when you put Him first and one another next and children 3rd. John was great stating something similar to that. Enjoy all the moments!! They grow up way too fast. Our “littles” are now in their 40’s!
Sweet sweet couple and wise beyond your years! Keep up the great job of building a strong and lasting family! ❤🙏
You are such a sweet couple and family. I love that John is very hands on with the raising of the girls. He is a great girl dad!
Thanks for being a great roles for younger couples.
Hi from Texas! You both seem so sweet and loving toward each other, making it seem so easy. What I notice the more videos I watch, is that in the beginning of y’all as a couple, you were comfortable in front of the camera and John was more quiet, and now John seems more out spoken and very relaxed, at least with the UA-cam. You both seem to fit so well together. Debbie R.
The baby is so bright and beautiful. You guys are so gracious with dealing with all the questions and answering them with humor. John is hilarious.
I found a greater respect after Johns answer regarding relationships, as If my respect couldn’t be any greater. 🥰 Y’all are awesome.
Love these candid q&a videos! I will say though, not everyone is religious and even those marriages can work! My husband and I aren’t religious and don’t really have relationships with a higher power and still have a beautiful, loving, happy, healthy relationship filled with gratitude😊
You are such a great couple! So very down to earth!
You guys are great!!! I love keeping up with the Webster’s!!
It’s so nice to hear John talk so much. He’s so real and funny
Watching your family is like witnessing a miracle. I know that sounds over the top, but seeing the smiles on your girls' faces and yours, you know they are truly blessed for parents that love and respect them. Peace to all, God bless!
It's so obvious he's a great dad!!
Thank you for your honesty!! Loved to hear this - so refreshing! 💕
Love the advice! Glad to know your normal just like the rest of us ☺️
Loved this !! Also Maci fell asleep during the video my kids were never that quick to do that
Married 30 years & your advice is spot on! Also, a marriage is only between the couple not families, never undermine the other parent & never ever mention the D word out of anger, hurt or jest. It’s refreshing to see an honest couple on YT.
Sooo fun watching you two answer those questions!! And thanks for keeping it real 😄
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My family and I have been watching. We are on season 5 or 6. I’m 51 years old and we are from PA. We are absolutely enjoying you all. It would be a pleasure if we ever get to meet the whole family. Love you all and can’t wait to see what the other seasons have in store.
Love this and your honesty!
I love your honesty with some of these questions (kissing before marriage, and how your first year married had some conflict and fighting as you learned to navigate being with someone else). It’s just real and even though it can be hard to talk about, my husband and I met at 17 and have been married 10 years this October and our first years together we had to learn how to communicate. People tell us now how our marriage is so perfect (which obviously no marriage is), but we spend a lot of time and hard work centering God in our marriage and learning to communicate with each other that has allowed us to be that funny couple who can joke around with each other and avoid most of those big arguments.
It’s nice to see you guys having fun and relaxing more in front of the camera (I know my husband and I would be so shy talking about our lives in front of the camera).
We have 2 girls and 1 boy, and people always asked us if we were going to keep trying for a boy. It actually made my poor husband so frustrated when we found out our baby was a boy and people would tell him, “you finally got your boy!” Because as much as he loves his son, he doesn’t enjoy how that makes his daughters feel, like he was sitting around waiting on God to send him a boy and they weren’t good enough for him. So we really relate. I almost feel like we have to have a 4th baby just to show people we didn’t stop having kids just because we got a boy 😂
Your doing a great job guys. Your an encouragement for other young families. It’s nice you share your struggles and joys with others. I feel it gives others a sense of normalcy.❤️
I agree with waiting to furnish the downstairs. I believe there is a interior designer called design by Casanova on UA-cam and she recommends finding the one maybe more expensive staple piece of furniture for each room and building off of it. It really makes sense when you think about it because it allows a new homeowner to take their time with their decisions. Thank you for answering the many questions and John don't worry about having arguments in your first year of marriage because it lead you both into a better rest of your marriage figuring out your differences
adorable! I am glad you shared some fun info LOL. a fun video, and your personalities really shine through....
I love this vlog!!! Y'all are so cute!!! The response to the last question was so funny. Love y'all!!!
I think you are a naturally confident and mature person and sometimes that can appear as snobbish to others. I had that misconception of you as well. So I'm happy to see more of you and see that your incredibly diligent and gifted, grounded and humble. First impressions are usually always wrong anyway ❤️😃👍
Love the Q&A it was so much fun you two would definitely meant to be together much love to your whole family and God bless
You two are so funny and gave such great advice, love seeing you as a couple, and love all the honesty (:
I just adore you both and your 4 precious girls. You guys are so genuine, kind and amazing parents. I really enjoyed this Q&A as I do all your videos and I finally subscribed to your channel, yippee! Oh and I laughed so much with the kiss before marriage answer, loved how you both were so honest, cute and happy about it. Blessings to the six of you as well as the rest of the sweet Bates family, who I also adore.
I just discovered that I was not subscribed to your channel and I fixed that! I wonder if Alyssa, can you do a hair Tutorial and make up tutorial sometime soon? I haven't seen any if you have already done them, so I was wondering sometime when you had time if you could do that for us? Thank you for sharing part of your lives with us!
I went through Christian pre marital counseling and they said exactly what you said: God first, your spouse second and everything else will fall into place in terms of relationships.
If your child isn’t number one always and forever I will never understand that. Stay, happy and healthy. Lots of virtual love xx
My kids always come before me no matter what
I just adore your family and YES I love ur families how yall.share your faith as well!!..
Your intros are on point! Nice!
This is one of my absolute favorite videos thank you I just can't get over that you're pregnant with your fourth child you had to completely redo the house even with both families helping that was a lot of work on you guys but your taste is impeccable I just love it.
Your children your girls are just supposed to adorable well-behaved in homeschooling is it easy I give you all koodles.
you guys are just two !!! cute for words ... so luv ya your honesty and just how cute you are together !!!!!!!! thanks for sharing with us
Yessss Italy is my dream vacation too love your family!!! You guys did an amazing job with the house take your time furnishing and enjoy it!!!
Great MARRIAGE ADVICE!!!
I love your Q&A's. When John called Bringing Up Bates BUB I laughed so hard. I will always call it that now! Thanks for sharing!
The baby is getting so Big she is growing .
love your show and Family.
Love the answer about having a boy! I have 5 boys 10 months - 14 years and we are about to have #6. People ask me if i want a girl, I would love a girl but at the same time I know what to do with a boy!
Y'all are such a sweet couple!
Love your honesty and also your humor. 👍
I have been married almost 40 years and we still argue lol. We also laugh alot. You are the sweetest couple. I have been watching the Bates channel since you were sooo young. God bless you all. Much love and blessings from Kansas city Missouri Nonna. 😘😘😘
You two are sooo cute. Out of all the kids from your family Alyssa, you're my fav.
Here's another ???
So, how many of your brothers & sisters that are now married KISSED prior to getting married (besides you & John?) Do you know?
Admitting things that you've been asked just really shows how relaxed and totally honest you two are. Raising kids, to be honest, is hard work, but truly worth it. Making sure your kids know that if they mess up and are honest with Mom and Dad really helps them to know you trust them. We always told our kids "Just be honest. If you've done something wrong, don't worry, it's okay. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that you HAVE LEARNED from it (the mistakes) Our sons didn't drink or smoke as teens however they always told their friends if they did drink to PLZ call and our kids would pick them (their friends) up. Surprisingly our house was the house our kid's friends hung out at.....because they knew they could talk to us without judgment. It's so important to do what you've promised. IF you tell your kids you won't be upset if they do "XYZ" and you aren't upset, it means so much. They then know that the next time they mess up they can be honest with you.
I laughed when John said "No, we aren't rich, we have 4 kids, come on! "
Keep up the great videos.
I love it that you share your busy lives with everyone.
God Bless
and Happy Mother's Day Alyssa!
That's funny that you said "imagine having 6 girls," John...my cousins are 6 girls, spread out over a 15 year time span! They are all so close, it's lovely.
Ya'll are soooo cute! And those little girls are adorable. I definitely think people misjudged you thinking ya'll were snobs. Lol Ya'll are so personable and funny. Keep making these cool videos, they are fun to watch! Wishing you guys blessings as a family!
P.S. Come to Italy... welcome!! You'll love it for vacation!! There's many American people living here that would host you guys. 😃
The kids friends question is one we get all.the.time. Like, yes. They socialize. Probably more than they would at school!
Happy Friday!! Thanks for sharing!!
I think you guys are awesome!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to help other people through sharing your relationship with God, each other and your family! Thank you for serving God this way!
Blessings always! 😊
I’ve heard others say baby #3 was the hardest too. For me it was baby #2, she had severe colic from 2 weeks until 5 months. That was such a hard time. Baby #3 was a surprise and I cried for months when I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t think I could do it again. But he was my angel baby, never cried, did just what he was “supposed to” when he was supposed to do it. (Also followed the Babywise book). Baby #4, was an “average” baby, but I felt like a pro by that point. 😉 That’s where we stopped, I knew I was all the mom I could be with those 4. Everybody is different and that was my limit. Your mom is an amazing mother to that many children, she inspires and impresses me. Since y’all aren’t able to be on the show as much I’m now enjoying getting to know more of y’all here. Blessings on your sweet family! ❤️
I LOVED THIS .. a grandma of 5 and I had a smile on my face the whole time !!
I'm married to my high school sweetheart! Dec 6 will be 36 years and we still say i love you all the time.
You two are so sweet!
Thanks for sharing. Love getting to know you guys better
Children are definitely a blessing, remember that!!💕
You're such a beautiful, Godly couple. And those little ones, be still my heart!! Just adorable. God bless you!
Love your honesty, you guys are so genuine.
John is the funniest 😂. Love the new intro.
We’re expecting boy #5 and we get the were you just trying for a girl question all the time. Nope. We just love kids because they’re a blessing! Congrats on your new house. All the work you’ve is amazing. Can’t wait to see how it all looks in the end!
Such great questions.. hope you all have a good weekend ❤️
John is hilarious and I enjoyed watching you two so much.
Loved it! ❤️🙏🏻
I used to watch your family's show and I've never in my life seen such a beautiful family all of you are such good looking people!!
I totally agree that you were filmed to look snobbish. However, through this platform we have come to see how very sweet, real, and lovely you REALLY are!!💗💗💗
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I’ve never felt that at all. My vibes always been she is more calm more low key.
She does come off as snobbish on the show but she isn't. And John comes off as never talking/relevant on the show which isn't true either.
Great Q&A thanks for sharing!!
You guys are so darn cute.i can picture you guys sitting in your rockers together when you are 80.i was married for 43 years before my husband passed away but we were not good at communication skills like you two are.So glad you found each other.
,I’m so sorry for your loss.God bless
You guys are such a cute family. I really enjoy your posts. You are so really (definitely not appearing snobby) I laughed at the gadgets for John, my son in law in the same way 😉