Daniel & Gabor Maté: HELLO AGAIN (parents & adult children workshop, Rhinebeck NY, October 2022)
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- Опубліковано 6 лис 2022
- From the public talk given Friday October 28, 2022 at @omegainstitute . Daniel & Gabor Maté each speak on the topic of parent/adult-child relationships from their own perspectives, and then have an onstage dialogue. Part of a full weekend workshop the duo offer at various locations; stay tuned to D & G's social media for updates. @danielbmate (Insta/Twitter) @gabormatemd (Insta) @drgabormate (Twitter)
While I like the idea of father and son being vulnerable and dissecting their relationship I find Daniel very intense and condescending to his father. Perhaps just my perception but he needs to tone it down a bit so he sounds more like an adult and not a bossy kid. 🙏
It’s so incredibly wholesome seeing Gabor get teased by Daniel, I’m dying. :D This all makes me feel at peace with us all being imperfect people doing imperfect things, it’s beautiful beyond words.
Wow, this was incredibly authentic and vulnerable. I almost felt like I was spying on a father-son interaction that usually is behind closed doors in a private home... I absolutely love you two and all you are offering the world. Thank you!
BAD sound. Too much noise. Balance is off.
Gabor is "old world" European, mired in a particular despair and Daniel,the son, emerges from this but swims in the Euro North American material privledge. Interesting to see their struggles for wholeness(healing) and recognition within these historical locations.
Yes these talks are invaluable. But I sometimes think that sometimes it's just best to say nothing about an incident that triggers you in some shape or form as it can lead to the parent feeling as though they can't be they're authentic self. I am sure Gabor would have sent that email regardless if who was on the stage talking.sometimes as children we need to recognize that now as adults we are no longer the main focus of our parents lives. I know that Gabor has admitted to being a workaholic absent father with many hang ups and emotional issues of his own but he has tried to use those issues to help others and not to berate his son. I think and I don't mean be unkind to Daniel that one of his main issues with his adult relationship with his father in particular is that he feels that his father is more famous and has achieved more during his life time than Daniel himself has. There's an old saying that comparison's are odious . I think that they can also be very damaging to a person's own self esteem. It must be very hard for any chil born into a family where the parents are super famous and successful in the eyes of the world.
Magic of it is that it initially sounds like it's all bout them (Gabor and Daniel) until it dawns on me (very few minutes into the video) it's all bout us. So powerful, always. Gratitude, guys. B.
I've read Dr. Mate book " When the Body Says No". I have chronic illness and am currently struggling with narcissistic family members. I'm looking forward to learn more from this since I cut contact with both of my parents for my own health and sanity. Glad to see son and father working together here.
Love the authenticity and the vulnerability of this talk. Oh Gosh! You both are admirable! Thank you for being you! 😍
I actually understand exactly how the son felt when Gabor was sending the email. That, would have upset me. When i want the parent or lived one to be paying attention.
Astounding how much our parents can screw us up - as a result of their own woundedness. Yes, my mother used to say the same thing to me: “Wait until YOU have children, then you’ll see!”, and I swore to myself that I would be a different parent if I ever had kids. And I was. But it was incredibly challenging and hard to NOT go to the default backhanded reactions and responses I was given as a child, to not continue with the aggression and abuse I had received. And at the same time I had to wrestle with my finally drawing boundaries with my parents at the age of 40. Having been brought up in a tyrannical, narcissistic, abusive, and completely dysfunctional household, in which early on I was thrown into having to play mother to my brother and my mother, having boundaries wasn’t a concept at all. On the contrary, I dealt with the guilt of that for many-many years. My brilliant, funny, artistic, sensitive brother started to drink as a teenager and hasn’t stopped since. I had something different in my internal architecture as a coping mechanism, defiance, rebellion, truth-telling in your face, etc., so alcoholism wasn’t an issue for me, luckily. Perfectionism, etc., is a different story.
Beginning at 40:, it’s exactly what I’ve been thinking about. When we are not shown what we as children need we don’t know what our children need. We think we are going to do better but we actually don’t. We pass onto them our pains so we look to one another for healing. If we are lucky our children, as adults, will stick with us. I didn’t with my parents and it was worth it. Full circle is a beautiful thing. I hope this adult child and parent are in the stages of completing the circle.
I learned a lot about myself from Gabors talks but listening to Daniel and him here has given me great hope for my relationship with my sons who suffered because of my trauma thank you both so much ❤️
Daniels awareness of of his bodily nervous system reactions are so authentic and the key to taking responsibility and true opportunity for healing … so brave to face each other with such honesty since for me my relationship with my daughter is my most confrontive where I take everything sooo personally
The two Matés baring their dirty laundry takes a lot of courage, honesty and vulnerability. Very helpful, if at times uncomfortable. Thanks.
Never found something to the relationship between parents and ADULT children..-this is really good..
Daniel is clearly resentful and having a tough time, but he used the end to manipulate the audience into thinking it’s a good vibe. Gabor held it together but wow tough. Lot of issues Daniel is dealing with. Amazing the book made it into the world.
This video demonstrates how brave these two men are. Rarely will anyone, anyone I know, who would put their feelings up front and witness and “ tamper” with them …for the benefit of others. I doubt that I will ever be that brave.
I needed this
I am so grateful for the Mate family! Thank you guys for sharing such profound wisdom and experiences. The level of vulnerability is a remarkable display of courage too. THANK YOU SO MUCH 💝🙏