I am 75. To me you are young. My most productive years came after 50. You are making a new career for yourself with these videos. There is so much potential for good surprises in your life.
I agree. Let's not focus on age. And note that biological age and chronological age are NOT the same. Let's not let a number be a limiting belief on what we are still capable of and our focus. Not to mention, longevity science is rapidly changing. I recommend checking out the book Lifespan by David Sinclair. I have a lot to say about being happy as I am the same age as you and experience the same feelings. But first off, I would not worry about age. If you feel young and healthy, you are.
In my 50’s I was grieving the loss of what I thought my life would be. I was discovered my depression was treatable. Practically my future is unchanged but now I see my life through the present. Not all days are good but I can often find pleasure in the details of my very ordinary life.
It's important to also recognise UA-cam is not the most reliable platform. I was banned randomly (Seen it happen to other bigger channels too) from Adsense and now 10 years later I still can't make money from UA-cam, I wouldn't never rely 100% on youtube for income, obviously Patreon and things of that nature help diversify.
It’s very hard for us all over the world to advise someone in your circumstances in a country like japan. Many in the US will say “oh you could sell everything and move to Bali” or “become an influencer” or “your wife needs to work” or “you should work 9-5 not 8-6 or 7” but none of us are Japanese and the culture is very specific. I think it’s super brave and unusual to see a Japanese person (and certainly not Japanese man) to be so vulnerable and emotionally expressive. It’s an incredible piece of culture you are creating and maybe this is your challenge. You can systematize it and continue to explore the different parts of yourself. Don’t feel like you have to publish everything to the internet. You are ok.
@@askjapan9669Hello Sir, I have listened to your videos regarding your potential midlife crisis and I believe I can offer you a solution. However it may take you and your family to adopt a new way of life, nothing drastic from how you are living now but something I believe will impact you and your family to have endless happiness and success. First before I get into the solution I do not recommend you quit your job as then your “Little Problems” like for example: “My life is so boring” will turn into potentially big problems like for example: “ I will be short on my mortgage payments.” Discipline is a virtue, you strike me as a disciplined and responsible man so continue your course and always put your family first. As to the solution I recommend you consider in your spare time researching about Sunni Islam. I became a Muslim in 2018 and let me tell you it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Islam gives you purpose the Quran has an answer for everything you may be seeking. I read that Islam is the fastest growing religion in Japan and that many ethnic Japanese are finding themselves in Islam. I realize the international media likes to portray Islam in a negative light but I can assure you that Islam is the religion of Peace, Love, and Happiness. Modern Japanese culture intermixes the Bushido Code of Conduct which centers upon being an Ethical and Hard working productive citizen together with the practical Modern and “go getter” mentality that has created Industry Giants like Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hitachi to name a few…. The same can be said about Islam. In islam hard work is revered we are required to pray five times per day, we fast for an entire month to show our devotion and discipline to God and if you look to see the era of the Islamic Golden Age many scientific and mathematical nuances originated from the Middle East particularly and most notably Algebra. Islam also brings peoples together it is common for many Muslims to visit their Local Masjid’s (Mosque) on Friday for prayer and there you have the chance to make truly long lasting connections and friendships with fellow brothers who I am sure will love to get to know you and your family. In Islam it is also common for Muslims to give “zakat” which is charity, so for example if you are behind on your mortgage (God Forbid) and you speak to the Imam at the Mosque zakat will be requested of the attendees to help you and your family get through the challenges so that you can pay your mortgage. Islam is a Great Brotherhood and transcend the boundaries of ethnicity, languages, and culture at the end of the day you must do what you think is best but I assure you that you will find your purpose and happiness in Islam. Wishing you and your family all the very best in good health and blessings Sir.
Your wife may have to consider part-time work once both children are in full-time school. That will certainly help with finances and take off some pressure. You may also try to focus more on the simple pleasures of life. Read more, walk more, cook more, talk more. Above all, spend time with your wife and children, particularly outdoors and in nature.
Yeah, that's very sound advice. If the kids are in kindergarten or school his wife needs to pick up work,at least part time, for sure. It'll make a huge difference to their cash flow and mental health.
I am glad you are having a conversation with your audience here and being so vulnerable and honest. I will hopefully have some helpful thoughts at the end of the video, but at the start/as I am watching I just wanted to say this type of honest conversation is good for you, but also for us in the comments, thank you.
Have you considered writing a book? After doing so many videos where you are sharing your thoughts, you are probably naturally inclined for writing. I myself was in a rut in my early 20s. I had a crisis of meaning, and then I started writing short stories, scripts, and eventually a large novel after much study. Fast forwards 10 years and now I am a confident writer with a major work nearly edited. I am still unpublished. There is always that next hill to climb, after all. Maybe one day I'll try to get published, but the act giving it my all, gave me a great satisfaction. How I managed it was simple. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
@@askjapan9669 Well sir, I appreciate your honest content and wanted to let you know that if you ever consider writing a novel, I'd be happy to help with any advice you have. Feel free to reach out.
From the outside looking at Japan, you have such a beautiful, orderly, clean society. However, i never understood your culture of working such long, long hours, and days. It seems like if Japanese society made a cultural shift to work a little less, the citizens would be able to enjoy more the beautiful environments they've made.
You have a gift with the English language. That is an enormous benefit to you over your Japanese peers. Continue with what you are doing because it seems to me anyway you are becoming sort of a guide to the international community concerning an aspect of Japan most do not see. Continue with what you are doing and circumstances will fall in place for you. Before long you will pick up an extra ¥100,000 a month from advertisers on UA-cam.
Honestly, I really just focus on what I need to do to get by. I'm 32, but I'm taking care of my two disabled parents. All of my focus is on making sure they are taken care of. Whatever happens in the future is irrelevant because my priority is the present. It's probably a bad idea, to be honest. I should be doing things now that set me up in the future, but at the end of the day, after work, and taking care of things at home, I don't really have the energy to do "more", even though I really should.
I went through this at 30.. I'm 34 now. Both parents gone. Don't forget your self care like sleep. Get enough protein for energy. Wishing you well. One day at a time. You're a great person. 💙
I’m also planning on working until I die and I think that’s the case for most Americans with the state of how things are here now and where it’s trending. The main reason I workout now is to keep my body strong and age well. I need to stay strong to keep working.
@@askjapan9669 never compare yourself to others, never make a decision based on money, and never ever repeat the same mistake 2x. first time was the last time, and first mistake means run for the hills, the hills have eyes, loving kind eyes, and you are a better person. Period. today is better than tomorrow when it comes to sizing up the foes, they come aplenty. Peace.
I must provide some Japanese humor here. I lived in Japan for two years and went to a few Japanese language speech competitions. In Japanese "kusa" is grass and "kuso" is poop. 😀 At one of these competitions, my American friend tried to say "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" but she actually said, "The poop is always greener on the other side of the fence." 😂 The audience reaction was the best part. Your comment reminded me of this.
First, find a way to separate work and personal life. One of the drawbacks of working at home is that the two become intermingled to the point that a person feels like they are constantly working. Even if it's two hours a day, you have to carve out time for you. Find a challenge that you and your wife can do together, sharing the burden/successes. Or find a challenge connected or related to something you already do.
You have a stable life, wife and children. I would like to have all this. I dont know man. We seem not to be happy no matter what, but i think u have a life I am jealous.
Yeah, many Millennials and Gen Z would love to raise a family and stay at home wife with one job. He is living the American dream of the 1970s and 1980s
@chasedownblocks1736 I'm young, I want to have kids and raise them in a team with the woman who would be my wife. I talk to my father about the responsibility, I'm working on myself to be able to handle it all
Wonderful question! My new start in life came after 45 years old. Started walking more, working out, eating healthy, losing weight. I felt like I was more healthier at this age than ever before. For you to start this UA-cam channel is stepping into major new challenge. Bravo brother!
I work 40 hours a week as a software developer. It's fast paced and very stressful. I recently started getting back into game development since that's what I majored in college. I work on my game from about 7 PM to 11 PM, sometimes later. I take a break on Wednesdays after work and Saturdays. I live with my wife who is retired early. The bills all fall on me. I want to be able to retire before I hit 55. I am 50 now. Not necessarily retire but do things I enjoy. Some advice, throw the age thing out the window. It will only serve as an anchor and slow you down or stop you completely. Meaning it could cripple you. Find what you are passionate about and use that as your carrot on a stick and keep it dangled in front of you. Don't feel bad if you take breaks or do not have the amount of time you want to be able to spend on it. Ten minutes here, thirty minutes there, an hour, two hours, do what you can with the time you have and count that as a nice milestone regardless. One last thing to remember is the only security we can have in life is the security we create for ourselves. You can do this!
Subbing your channel after watching this videos. I'm 32 years old Turkish, no children, but sharing your feelings. This "globalization" fucked up humanity. Keep making videos and you'll be making it your main financial source next year, I promise that.
@@askjapan9669 At least you don't have a terrible prime minister coming from a party with a bulb symbol fucks your life, your democracy, economy and destroy human rights just like here in Turkey, right? You can walk in streets without fear of death and your wife is not going to abused by one of refugee freak passes your borders easily thanks to your government politics. Please try to focus on bright side. I know, that's hard and I cannot do it myself too. But to me, it seems you are a simple man who is trying to find his place in this post-modern world, just like the same; billions of people. We always see people rich, happy, healthy, wealthy on the net. Yet it's not the reality. It's just entertainment. People sell people. You don't have to find a way to be better. You are a father of two. You will raise your kids and die one day. Just like our ancestors. Life is too complicated nowadays, which is not meant to be. Please try harder to be simpler. You are making videos without any post production, with only a camera while chatting. How simple is that? Don't you see how that works? You don't need to manage your time better, you are doing it great. I believe that your channel will be a great motivation for people all around globe. Just keep being yourself. And to do that, you don't need to do anything exceptional, because this is you. Only keep breathing.
You have a Brand now with this channel. You are in Marketing. Maybe a new challenge can be growing your Brand and using your expertise. Your “Real Takes” from an “Ordinary Salaryman” or something
Some people call it being a "Journeyman". A man who sees the simple pleasures and does not give in to the terrible pressure of comparing themselves to how other men "appear" to be doing better in life, but actually may not be any happier, just more secretive and pretending, not open and honest about their life and how they are coping.
Bro, I’m 47 non-Japanese with 3 kids at international schools (2 in Japan elementary and junior high, 1 in Canada university), own a home inside the Yamanote line loop and searching for another property. My motivation is total freedom fun and allow my kids to have all the opportunities I didn’t have. I own startup businesses in japan, operated by myself. If you cannot challenge yourself as an entrepreneur, then you have to get the highest paying ticket you can get as a salary man, you have 10 years of employment left as a Japanese staff. Thinking too much will keep you paralyzed, unstoppable massive action will change your physiology increase your testosterone to younger levels and recover your hungry challenger mindset. The best opportunities are OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! 🔥
This seems like a priorites question: 1. spend more free time on family 2. spend more time on side hustles(rent out your car, gear etc. 3.keep living the current life There are more options and you can currtainly combine some of these. However the point is find what you self want to prioritize and work twoards achiciving that. There WILL need to be sacrafices in order to get where you want to be, or Else you would allready be there.
Compare yourself to who you where yesterday, not someone else today :) I'm having to restart my life and career at 44, the hardships men face internationally are rarely highlighted but it's getting better. Good luck friend.
There is nothing wrong with a boring life, we live life as best as we are able to. Thank you for sharing your story...at least, I don't feel so alone thinking about being close to 50 and wondering, what's next? Please take care and I wish you all the best.
Time Management is the key. Create a followable schedule. For me, just put kids to bed early, quickly finish the chores, and use the rest of whatever time left before bed.
With all due respect I admire the Japanese culture and the respect and consideration for others, nothing is perfect but you have a beautiful country full of history an excellent arquitecture! I know you an a difficult stage of your life but like you said your healthy and your family needs you!! Don’t loose hope is there!!! Thank you sharing with us👍🏻
I think you should start with small goals. Too big of an idea will overwhelm you. But one small step at a time will build confidence and energy. The brain will start to direct you.
hey Askjapan - really enjoying your videos lately and thank you for keeping them coming :) i don't know much about your lifestyle and how physically active you are, but my recommendation would be to start working out (strength training + cardio). once you start changing your physiology, i think you'll notice that you have a lot more energy and motivation all across life. it can also be fun and rewarding to see physical changes and see yourself becoming stronger and more athletic. it also makes you feel like you are accomplishing something challenging, which you mentioned in this video. i know you're busy with your job and family but even if you can start working out 3 times a week in the gym for an hour, i think you could make a lot of progress at your age. it should not take that much time and the return on investment is very high. hope that helps :)
I appreciate your honesty and candid talk about what's happening in your life. I have no kids, no spouse, not even a dog. It appears that I'm going to have to find a new job soon, and that can be difficult, since US employers don't seem to like hiring older people, even though that's technically illegal. Maybe your wife can take some kind of part time job after your kids are in school all day. That could help decrease your stress about finances - having 28 years left on a mortgage is a long time! Maybe you could be a full time UA-camr, or start some kind of business. My rent is about half my take home pay, but i don't want to buy a place, because I'm trying to get Czech citizenship by descent so i can live in Europe, where the cost of living seems to be less than here in the US. Unfortunately, the Bank of Japan seems to have made some bad decisions that have led to the devaluation of the yen. But that seems to be bringing in more tourists. Maybe you could become a tour guide. I think you're pretty good at socializing, I could never make videos like you do! Although my job is tech support, so i have to talk to random people having computer problems all the time at work. The redeeming factors are that i work from home and i do 12 hour overnight shifts 3 days/week and every other Saturday. Maybe if you were able to get a job with a foreign company in Japan, you could enjoy an atmosphere that isn't predicated on staying at the office so long because it's tradition.
Stop comparing yourself! Theres is no other you, you are extraordinary, one of a kind. There is no one out there that could replace you so dont think oh I cant do that because he did it so early or he has that so I can't do that. Yiu have your own life and your own opportunities. If you really want to try something new you have to start taking every free minute on the side to try out new things. This will probably suck even more than what youre going through now as youve described in earlier videos because you will have even less free time but we have to be willing to bring sacrifices for change. And if that means that lets say for the next 2-5 years you just bombard youself with new challenges that you always wanted to try and devote all your time into it and maybe find one thing that really fulfills you you can than pursue that and live the rest of your years happier than you have ever been! But you habe to give room for those possibilities! Take risks! Be daring but of course be calculated! You have responsibilities so you habe to do risk assessments first you cant just jump into risks like a 20 year old thats just what you have to deal with. But I truly believe that the human no matter how many years of bad habits can change and overcome anything.
I dont know what to say to help you, but let me tell you this : I really admire you. Both you and your wife are doing your best to raise a family. So dont feel bad for sleeping enough , or eating well, you gotta be there for your kids for as long as possible ❤ And regarding the middle aged crisis... don't worry, I also have one , and im only 30😅 keep going, you are amazing! 🎉❤
New subbie here👋. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable in having these conversations. By doing so, you are able to share, inform and encourage others. In turn, I hope in all you are giving others that you too receive help/ direction and more clarity for your future. You've got this 👍
I believe in you! It takes time to figure things out. Even if a hobby seems boring, it still may be good to try! When you start the hobby, you can find other people and new friends who also like the hobby. I hope that will make life not so boring. Once you find a hobby you like, you can also share it with your children and your children might really like it too.
You just uploaded it on a social platform that can really help you. People are obviously interested in your videos. I say keep uploading and maybe in the future the channel can provide some financial aid. You also have family that will hopefully support you in the future as well. DONT LOSE hope, You will find a way out! I believe it
Brother Do what best you can do.. Be grateful for what you have.. The life you have may be dream for many. We as human always wants more in life So this will keep going on
You’re doing great! If we had everything we wanted and didn’t want anymore, life would be even more boring. I’m 31 and have had multiple crisis’s with the change of stages in life. It’s better to be spontaneous and flexible to adapt to life’s changes. You’ll find your way and things will work out for you and your family 😁👍🏻
This isn’t advice for you. But for men in general, and can be modified according to situation. There are three primary duties of man: - The first duty is to oneself; maintain health and wellbeing. - The second duty is to your wife and family; ensuring they are cared for and loved. This includes being the provider, responsibility at work and professional relationships. - The third duty is to your parents and to your ancestors; to honor them. Master these duties and you master what it means to be a man
Most men the world over do not see it that way. The world has changed, but the mentality of men remains in the past. Men may become extinct or very few in the future.
@@StarwaterCWS Well I hope it returns before males cease to exist, only to be replaced by cloning and other means of that sort. Science fiction could become reality.
Be realistic, yes. But please do not say “my life is boring”. I wish I could give you a hug. I understand you’re struggling, and you’re so strong. Keep fighting. Change your mindset, focus on the reason you’d study. You’d study for a better career for example, or for enjoyment, if you’re studying something you enjoy.
One thing that I have started doing is learning to make and record music. I am able to do it at home in the evenings. I love music, I am learning new things, and I have a hard goal to produce an album! It has been giving me a lot to look forward to lately. I saw in your other video that you play guitar. Maybe look into getting into music more! I have two children and a full time job. 38 years old here from Oregon USA.
Hi, I have just discovered you and have listened to some of your posts, you seem to be very dissatisfied with your life and I get that you are probably looking for advice to improve things, right. I think you must know that only you know, what you need to improve your situation, but I also know it helps to talk about it. LOTS of people seem to have given good strong advice which shows how we care about you, I do hope you take some of it on board. And it is so true that you have a lot to be happy with. Just imagine if you were coming home every night to a completely empty house, no kids no one to kiss hello and share a drink with which is the case for so many people without any hope of change for the better. Please believe me true happiness does not take a lot and it is all about the people in your life. All of us on here are reaching out to you because we like you and want to make you feel better. I for one would like to be your friend . Make sure you take care of yourself, eat & sleep well and take time to look at your family and think how beautiful they are and that they are yours, Anita
Are you sure there are no groups of people to talk with because you are not alone in feeling as you do. Here in England you would start by talking to your family doctor who would provide you with a councillor to talk with, do you have such people in Japan? I am concerned that your life is being ruined by your worries, and you are over thinking everything. I hear that many people in Japan are becoming increasingly lonely, I also know that the Japanese are very private and keep themselves to themselves. You are able to open up and say what you feel which is good and may be all you need but I would really like to see you feeling happier. At 50 you are still a young man with lots more life and possibilities to enjoy Also what is your first name, or do you not want to say, if so, thats ok . Take care Anita
If there is online ordering for grocery shopping, you could save some time by ordering online and picking it up at the store. It might be a good idea to talk to your wife about her taking a job part-time, if not now, then when your youngest is a little older. Then you and your wife can work on how to fairly split the house chores when she is working. You are going through a mid-life crisis. It is okay to be unhappy! It is hard to be responsible, and I appreciate how responsible you are. I’m sure your children will be grateful when they are older and can understand. We are all very stressed by money and the rising costs of everything around the world. I am sometimes too stressed to figure out a plan for what to do. Because this is hard, I have started learning breathing exercises and doing meditation to help with my mental and physical stress. I know that when I am less stressed I am able to make a better plan, because thinking is less painful. Maybe learning some breathing exercises will help you when you need one minute to calm your thoughts.
brother, life is hard but I think you have an ideal life that I'm working to build for myself. you and your wife are a great team and you look like a 35 year old man with a full head of hair and you have 2 children to keep you motivated to provide. I don't think your wife should work because I think you are a good man that has enabled this life for his family and her best role is to take care of you and the family especially at your children ages. I don't think I would quit your job without securing new employment at a new company to have a fresh start with them and be able to work for promotions there. I'm not a great socializer either I am just working on gaining new skills to get a higher income job but to me you have a lot of what I am working for. I feel like I have 1/3 life crisis every other day I can only imagine the mid life crisis I will have later lol but hopefully I'm doing as well as you by then :) I think you are doing a lot better than you tell your self and you should be proud of what you have built in life so far.
Appreciate the honest dialog and can feel much like yourself at times. If you really want to make changes, you'll just need to accept that you can't do everything, and will only be able to focus on at most three things if you really have the energy. You can do it and your life will be unbalanced, but that's okay. Slow progress is better than no progress. Rooting for you sir.
Losing motivation and feeling flat can be related to hormonal imbalance, i highly recommend to test your testosterone levels, many 50 yr olds have to take testosterone replacement therapy, usually after this they gain back their motivation and drive. There is many natural ways to boost immunity ant hormon functions, If you feel like your life is boring and over at 50, something is not right, usually life of man starts at age of 50. 50 to 65 is the golden age, please dont waste it. Life and every day is new opportunity and gift, im really gratefull of my life. I work 60 hours per week, still i think life is precious and beautiful gift. Thats why i spend my time in present and i love it.
I'd love to see you slowly start doing more and more daring things to get out of your rut, like I'd love to see you trying new things for the first time and having fun adventures. It'd give this fellow middle aged man a lot of joy 😀
My father was able to keep golf a part of his life while raising myself and siblings playing early in the morning before work. Perhaps you can adjust find your own new passion. Woodworking, hiking, surfing, calligraphy none which require socializing. Or you can independent study something you wished you had learned before. Not for profit or business at first, but to better understand yourself, and better feel you’re continuing to grow as a person and father. Wish you well from California!
Great videos! What I find most fascinating is you grew up during what I would say is japans best era 80s and 90s anime and video games were amazing! To see that generation grow up is interesting
Can you teach us your audience about Japan, show us interesting spots tell us about it and its history if there is history connected to the spot, the basics of the Japanese language, show us how Japanese daily life works from your POV as a native? Also the social issues on Japan and your take on them? I think people will listen to whatever you would like to talk about especially since you communicate well and in a sincere manner. I think anything you share to give a window into the people, country, language, culture, daily living or even societal issues you care about will allow you to continue to have heart to heart conversations with your audience. This on turn will grow your audience and enable you to begin making an income via the channel.
Talk to your wife about it. Maybe she would like a change too. Be curious - explore many possibilities and eventually you will both find a personally fullfilling challenge to pursue.
The power of NOW. Look for Blessings in the present moment. The smallest one. Roof over you had. Chair that supports you. Table on which yp7 can do so many things…it is a mental shift that can create a New Beginning..
As a suggestion - start with a new challenge in the area of health/physical activity (running, swimming etc.) first. It´s cheap and requires only the willpower. It helped me a lot, as along the way you gain a great feeling of being in control of your life. And once you gain this feeling, you surprisingly feel yourself able to move to the next target.
Bicycle is good for your joints and very easy to start. Your first ride might be 500m, but then your next ride might be 1-2km, and there on. There is so much to see out in the open world. You cannot feel the same way in a car. Even taking bicycle to buy groceries is something extra in your life.
It's admirable that you're open about your challenges and seeking ways to navigate through them. Remember, finding balance and setting achievable goals, even small ones, can help regain motivation and clarity amidst life's complexities. 💪 Keep exploring, and you'll discover the path that resonates with you!
Just as you’ve been finding the free time to make these videos, maybe you could do something you would like to do as a challenge? The next question is what challenge do you want to do. I watched this video last night about a person on the internet who decided to create an official church of their anime waifu because it was funny, but it became so big that instead of people thinking that it’s weird they started to mostly get impressed. Maybe you would be interested in doing something that is personal to you that makes you laugh but be so talented at it that it will be world changing in that niche. Being the best at something is always a lot of fun, not because of the competition but because of the story and journey of all the exciting mind blowing things you could do in anticipation of doing the unthinkable.
A little tips for your channel: you can pick up some tv channel from your country that you like, and translate them for us! Somenthing like crazy shows or news
Time for teamwork motivation! Being a mom to kids makes you good at multitasking. Anyway, my kids are now adults. Phew! I used to have part-time evening job at a takeaway shop. Weekend work in catering (full day). Daytime during weekdays are not a problem with kids and house chores. When they got little older, they can go to school and come home on their own. Then later I got a full time 9-5 job. You know how Korean women cook meals and keep them in the fridge for like 1 week. I did that. But, only one dish due to budget. I made something similar to stew/soup (veg & meat). Sometimes spaghetti or pasta. Either the kids cook the rice or microwave them (ready-made). For safety reasons, I train them not to open/answer the door. Educate them about fire, electrical safety and blah blah blah.. Act like no one at home until parents come home. If want to watch tv, lower down the volume. Close windows with curtains. Mobile phones are a must for kids (emergency). You should never tell anyone that your kids are alone. Trust no one! Paedophiles, this and that mental issue in society is something you should be careful about. Teach them if encounter someone when walking home/school, who intends to kidnap or molest. Scream for help. Fight and escape. Hit that "F@*K" part hard or whatever part of the body to make the sicko stop chasing them. Even school teachers nowadays teach children as young as 4 years old what to do if faced with shooting attack. It is becoming common in the US and Europe. Perhaps you can do home business when you're retire. Mom can also be a child minder to take care of other children. I once sent my kids when they were small to a Sri Lankan old lady. She also cared other two kids from the same school. Cheaper than proper qualified child minder. She only send and fetch the kids to/from school till I come to pick them up. I gotten them the packed meal from home. This person should have her criminal record checked ☝️ Well, you know what is best for your family 🫲
What are the things in the world you are most passionate about? What are the topics you love? Is there an activity you love? My grandfather always said, “Follow your bliss,” this advice has served me well. Hopefully, it helps you.
Be frugal as a family. Help out each other as a family. (All sort of work, including house work. "Work as team"). Start a small business if you can minimise the risk, you can save lots of tax. (For example do a buy and sell small business & don't quit your job until you make sure your business start to kick off.) I was a small business owner and I help my wife do all the chores too. I am 50 years old with an 8 years old. We both retired and live a very frugal life and teaching my son to be frugal as well. Don't buy iPhones anymore, they're too expensive! I use a Sony and its 4 times cheaper.
Sometimes your biggest challenge is to try to figure out what your next big thing is. Maybe it's something, maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's the experience of figuring it out. Be fluid with life, a river doesn't stop when it encounters a rock, it flows around it. Be fluid with your life and enjoy the good and the bad that you're experiencing, it's a part of aging and thriving. When the next big thing in your life presents itself you will be ready for it with this mindset. We are conditioned to want more than what we have instead of appreciating what we do or do not have in the moment. I hope this helps. Sending love from Connecticut, USA ❤
I’m 44 years old and I’m also feeling middle age crisis…I’m still single and currently feel bored and lack motivation to meet new people …Since Covid, I’ve lost interest in going out and have never really gone out since then. High food costs and high inflation is not helping either. Right now, I feel stuck and can’t get unstuck. I also work from home so all these circumstances im culmination is the reason why I’min the situation I am in right now
One aspect that many non-Japanese do not comprehend fully is just how incredibly monotonous Japanese society and culture really is. You cannot appreciate the nuisances of this fact unless you live in Japan for as long as I have. I am sure there are exceptions and if you are financially well off but for most Japanese are strapped to this concept known as honne and tatemae. Japan and Japanese society are an anomoly and is not "normal" behavior in humans in other countries. There are Japanese men who literally do not know what to do. My next door neighbor having no hobbies sits with his wife watching television all day. He has no friends. It is like living in a nursing home without the care. There are thousands of Japanese men like this.
Hello, I completely agree with you. I have lived in Japan for 6 years now and my wife told me about honne and tatemae, It is rather strange and being from the UK/British It is weird to me. I have 2 kids and my wife is Japanese and I just turned 40. My Japanese is not great, to be fair I have been lazy to learn it. I have not managed to make any friends or if I do make any friends, they simply want to speak English and not actually make friends. My best friends are simply my wife and kids haha. I started making youtube videos too, not to become famous, just because I felt I might be able to reach out, although I dont have much time to make videos. Is it interesting to watch these videos and listen go an actual Japanese man speak about his feelings.
@@jimmychaninjapan3982 You are going to experience precisely what I experienced. You are going to have to make some tough decisions. My two daughters raised in Japan who are bingual said screw this and left Japan.
I’m 50 years old and I recently took on a second job working as a steward at a music venue. I mostly work weekends but it offers me some flexibility around my family life. I also split the income from this with my family so that they benefit from my not being there on this occasion which helps the household budget
What is the new challenge you are interested in? I would hope you could somehow get into something new slowly. Without having to completely quit your job first. Try not to over stress on trying to hurry.
@@askjapan9669you know, there's two philosophies on that: one is to (get lucky and) know your passion and follow that. But the other is committing to something you're interested in and then gradually getting better at it, and then it starts to grow into a passion because you see results and thus becomes more fun. Just something to think about. Most people don't have that automagically. Personally I tried loads of things and eventually narrowed in on things I care about. It's a process. Some even say the path is the goal, not the destination. We are all rooting for you 💪
That is good that your wife is taking care of the house and the children. I live in US. Most children are put into a day care or take care of themselves while both parents are away.
Start jogging outside, challenge yourself to increase your distance each week. Jogging or running is very good for mental and physical health, and it doesn’t cost anything 👍
Hello friend! It sounds to me that you are unhappy with your life. But I think it’s because you THINK your life is not blessed. But in reality, you have a steady job, you have a loyal wife who supports you, you have 2 wonderful children, you have your health. You see it as “boring” but so many people will kill just to change places with you. Once you realize and clearly see this, 90% of your problems will go away.
You hold the ability to influence minds and share compelling ideas to the world. You've even created an audience who regularly watches your videos. It's a talent you seem to dedicate a lot of time into, it is a powerful one. Perhaps keeping your job is the correct option. Maybe switching your job to something that integrates your talents is the right option. Nobody can truly give you advice. There is a short video called "Noam Chomsky - What Should I Do?", which captures this idea well. It's a 1-2 minute video, I would watch it if you have the chance. In this day and age, it is easy to fall into sorrow, worry, fear. I'm sure you will find your own way if you search hard enough, acknowledge your talents, not controlled by the external aspects of the world.
I'm not very social either and there are a lot of successful start-up founders who were famously introverted. What worked for me is to find a business partner who complements your skills and personality. I have started multiple businesses with co-founders who are very social and love being the front man while I take care of the business behind the scenes. It's similar to how rock bands work. There needs to be a charismatic front person, a talented song writer, hardworking musicians and a capable leader. Maybe you can find some partners to fill areas you aren't good at. Nobody can do everything.
Love seeing someone like us..but from Japan!.low vitamin D..especially when we age..wrecks our health.you are great at this...fascinating..and rather lovely how the world can come together still.time..enjoy every moment.💜uk
I am 75. To me you are young. My most productive years came after 50. You are making a new career for yourself with these videos. There is so much potential for good surprises in your life.
Wow. amazing. I really appreciate your comment. Life is go on.
You doing really well. So many men can relate.
I agree - you have a talent for making videos! Better late than never :)
I agree. Let's not focus on age. And note that biological age and chronological age are NOT the same. Let's not let a number be a limiting belief on what we are still capable of and our focus. Not to mention, longevity science is rapidly changing. I recommend checking out the book Lifespan by David Sinclair. I have a lot to say about being happy as I am the same age as you and experience the same feelings. But first off, I would not worry about age. If you feel young and healthy, you are.
Thank you so much sir! I'm 41 and you just inspire me too by your comment! I thought im old already
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt
Wow, nice quote
In my 50’s I was grieving the loss of what I thought my life would be. I was discovered my depression was treatable. Practically my future is unchanged but now I see my life through the present. Not all days are good but I can often find pleasure in the details of my very ordinary life.
Look how quickly you got 19k subscribers. Keep making videos about your life in Japan and maybe you can make it a full time career
Exactly! AskJapan definitely has a skill in this area
It's important to also recognise UA-cam is not the most reliable platform. I was banned randomly (Seen it happen to other bigger channels too) from Adsense and now 10 years later I still can't make money from UA-cam, I wouldn't never rely 100% on youtube for income, obviously Patreon and things of that nature help diversify.
@@autosativa i do that too i was creating content on 3 platforms (2 exclusive videos now 1 because 1 is gone )
No way did he only have 19k just 2 weeks ago oO
Damn he grew fast...
wow he has grown so fast
It’s very hard for us all over the world to advise someone in your circumstances in a country like japan. Many in the US will say “oh you could sell everything and move to Bali” or “become an influencer” or “your wife needs to work” or “you should work 9-5 not 8-6 or 7” but none of us are Japanese and the culture is very specific. I think it’s super brave and unusual to see a Japanese person (and certainly not Japanese man) to be so vulnerable and emotionally expressive. It’s an incredible piece of culture you are creating and maybe this is your challenge. You can systematize it and continue to explore the different parts of yourself. Don’t feel like you have to publish everything to the internet. You are ok.
True. That is why many Japanese people feel suffocating
I know. I believe you will make it. If there’s anything I can do here in Tampa, Florida, let me know.
Nice message
@@askjapan9669Hello Sir, I have listened to your videos regarding your potential midlife crisis and I believe I can offer you a solution. However it may take you and your family to adopt a new way of life, nothing drastic from how you are living now but something I believe will impact you and your family to have endless happiness and success. First before I get into the solution I do not recommend you quit your job as then your “Little Problems” like for example: “My life is so boring” will turn into potentially big problems like for example: “ I will be short on my mortgage payments.” Discipline is a virtue, you strike me as a disciplined and responsible man so continue your course and always put your family first. As to the solution I recommend you consider in your spare time researching about Sunni Islam. I became a Muslim in 2018 and let me tell you it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Islam gives you purpose the Quran has an answer for everything you may be seeking. I read that Islam is the fastest growing religion in Japan and that many ethnic Japanese are finding themselves in Islam. I realize the international media likes to portray Islam in a negative light but I can assure you that Islam is the religion of Peace, Love, and Happiness. Modern Japanese culture intermixes the Bushido Code of Conduct which centers upon being an Ethical and Hard working productive citizen together with the practical Modern and “go getter” mentality that has created Industry Giants like Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Hitachi to name a few…. The same can be said about Islam. In islam hard work is revered we are required to pray five times per day, we fast for an entire month to show our devotion and discipline to God and if you look to see the era of the Islamic Golden Age many scientific and mathematical nuances originated from the Middle East particularly and most notably Algebra. Islam also brings peoples together it is common for many Muslims to visit their Local Masjid’s (Mosque) on Friday for prayer and there you have the chance to make truly long lasting connections and friendships with fellow brothers who I am sure will love to get to know you and your family. In Islam it is also common for Muslims to give “zakat” which is charity, so for example if you are behind on your mortgage (God Forbid) and you speak to the Imam at the Mosque zakat will be requested of the attendees to help you and your family get through the challenges so that you can pay your mortgage. Islam is a Great Brotherhood and transcend the boundaries of ethnicity, languages, and culture at the end of the day you must do what you think is best but I assure you that you will find your purpose and happiness in Islam. Wishing you and your family all the very best in good health and blessings Sir.
I love you and appreciate your conversations here. Keep going. The audience will grow and the solutions will come.
You're a 50 year old UA-camr gaining 1000 subscribers daily.
Your wife may have to consider part-time work once both children are in full-time school. That will certainly help with finances and take off some pressure. You may also try to focus more on the simple pleasures of life. Read more, walk more, cook more, talk more. Above all, spend time with your wife and children, particularly outdoors and in nature.
Yeah, that's very sound advice. If the kids are in kindergarten or school his wife needs to pick up work,at least part time, for sure. It'll make a huge difference to their cash flow and mental health.
I don't think its the Japanese way of life. Married female don't work in Japan?
Brother, I have 7 daughers and a son and my Rent is $2750 a Month, +all other expenses... im behind now, It not easy at all.....
Wow, I have no idea how you can manage
Sounds like you need your own UA-cam channel 😂
Goddamn
Dude you need a channel 7 daughters? Actually my aunt in Canada has 9 daughters one son
You are blessed!!!! ❤️
You would make an excellent therapist, you are frank and honest and responsible 🙂
Making it to 50....bro, you're on the correct path. Just keep doing your best and helping those around you.
Wow- you are sooooo likable and intelligent
Thanks
I am glad you are having a conversation with your audience here and being so vulnerable and honest. I will hopefully have some helpful thoughts at the end of the video, but at the start/as I am watching I just wanted to say this type of honest conversation is good for you, but also for us in the comments, thank you.
Have you considered writing a book?
After doing so many videos where you are sharing your thoughts, you are probably naturally inclined for writing.
I myself was in a rut in my early 20s. I had a crisis of meaning, and then I started writing short stories, scripts, and eventually a large novel after much study. Fast forwards 10 years and now I am a confident writer with a major work nearly edited. I am still unpublished. There is always that next hill to climb, after all. Maybe one day I'll try to get published, but the act giving it my all, gave me a great satisfaction.
How I managed it was simple. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
I never thought about it. Interesting
@@askjapan9669 Well sir, I appreciate your honest content and wanted to let you know that if you ever consider writing a novel, I'd be happy to help with any advice you have. Feel free to reach out.
From the outside looking at Japan, you have such a beautiful, orderly, clean society. However, i never understood your culture of working such long, long hours, and days. It seems like if Japanese society made a cultural shift to work a little less, the citizens would be able to enjoy more the beautiful environments they've made.
Maybe many Japnese people have become sick because we are not appreciating where we are now. We should learn more about from outside.
If no one works long hours … do you think Japan would still be such a beautiful orderly clean society?
I think it comes from the fall after ww2, they had to rebuild from nothing.
You have a gift with the English language. That is an enormous benefit to you over your Japanese peers.
Continue with what you are doing because it seems to me anyway you are becoming sort of a guide to the international community concerning an aspect of Japan most do not see.
Continue with what you are doing and circumstances will fall in place for you. Before long you will pick up an extra ¥100,000 a month from advertisers on UA-cam.
Thanks for your encouraging comment. Time is limited not only for me but all of us. Time management would key to grow everyone.
I love this dude
Hey man take it easy. You will be fine and I’m glad your channel is growing.
I pray for your future and for you to be successful raising your children well. You look strong and healthy.
Honestly, I really just focus on what I need to do to get by. I'm 32, but I'm taking care of my two disabled parents. All of my focus is on making sure they are taken care of. Whatever happens in the future is irrelevant because my priority is the present. It's probably a bad idea, to be honest. I should be doing things now that set me up in the future, but at the end of the day, after work, and taking care of things at home, I don't really have the energy to do "more", even though I really should.
I went through this at 30.. I'm 34 now. Both parents gone. Don't forget your self care like sleep. Get enough protein for energy. Wishing you well. One day at a time. You're a great person. 💙
@@chaii_latte I appreciate the encouragement, and I'm sorry for your loss.
@TheGalacticCannibal no worries. thank you. All things that happen in life. One day at a time sometimes. :]
I had the same journey. I wish you both well.
I’m also planning on working until I die and I think that’s the case for most Americans with the state of how things are here now and where it’s trending. The main reason I workout now is to keep my body strong and age well. I need to stay strong to keep working.
Im rooting for you, you have the answers inside.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🌼🌻
Wow, thanks
The best new challenge is:
Stop comparing yourself to others.
True
@@askjapan9669 never compare yourself to others, never make a decision based on money, and never ever repeat the same mistake 2x. first time was the last time, and first mistake means run for the hills, the hills have eyes, loving kind eyes, and you are a better person. Period. today is better than tomorrow when it comes to sizing up the foes, they come aplenty.
Peace.
I completely agree. Just try do better than yesterday.
Agreed
100%!
grass is always greener.
Wow, true
I must provide some Japanese humor here. I lived in Japan for two years and went to a few Japanese language speech competitions. In Japanese "kusa" is grass and "kuso" is poop. 😀 At one of these competitions, my American friend tried to say "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" but she actually said, "The poop is always greener on the other side of the fence." 😂 The audience reaction was the best part. Your comment reminded me of this.
First, find a way to separate work and personal life. One of the drawbacks of working at home is that the two become intermingled to the point that a person feels like they are constantly working. Even if it's two hours a day, you have to carve out time for you. Find a challenge that you and your wife can do together, sharing the burden/successes. Or find a challenge connected or related to something you already do.
True. I have felt no boarder between on and off
You have a stable life, wife and children. I would like to have all this. I dont know man. We seem not to be happy no matter what, but i think u have a life I am jealous.
It’s not going to last forever. Stop shitting on other people’s desperate situation.
Yeah, many Millennials and Gen Z would love to raise a family and stay at home wife with one job. He is living the American dream of the 1970s and 1980s
When you are the main provider and leader of the household you will understand how much pressure there is. Everyday is vulnerable.
@chasedownblocks1736 I'm young, I want to have kids and raise them in a team with the woman who would be my wife. I talk to my father about the responsibility, I'm working on myself to be able to handle it all
He’s only stable for now with an extremely low mortgage rate if .42%, once that goes up the stability is gone, it’s a looming threat.
Wonderful question! My new start in life came after 45 years old. Started walking more, working out, eating healthy, losing weight. I felt like I was more healthier at this age than ever before. For you to start this UA-cam channel is stepping into major new challenge. Bravo brother!
Thanks for sharing. You have inspired many ppl in their 50s with great responsibilities. Thank you.
So respectable “I’m doing just a little bit to support my wife”
I work 40 hours a week as a software developer. It's fast paced and very stressful. I recently started getting back into game development since that's what I majored in college. I work on my game from about 7 PM to 11 PM, sometimes later. I take a break on Wednesdays after work and Saturdays. I live with my wife who is retired early. The bills all fall on me. I want to be able to retire before I hit 55. I am 50 now. Not necessarily retire but do things I enjoy.
Some advice, throw the age thing out the window. It will only serve as an anchor and slow you down or stop you completely. Meaning it could cripple you. Find what you are passionate about and use that as your carrot on a stick and keep it dangled in front of you. Don't feel bad if you take breaks or do not have the amount of time you want to be able to spend on it. Ten minutes here, thirty minutes there, an hour, two hours, do what you can with the time you have and count that as a nice milestone regardless.
One last thing to remember is the only security we can have in life is the security we create for ourselves.
You can do this!
Subbing your channel after watching this videos. I'm 32 years old Turkish, no children, but sharing your feelings. This "globalization" fucked up humanity. Keep making videos and you'll be making it your main financial source next year, I promise that.
I feel darkness in my future
@@askjapan9669 At least you don't have a terrible prime minister coming from a party with a bulb symbol fucks your life, your democracy, economy and destroy human rights just like here in Turkey, right? You can walk in streets without fear of death and your wife is not going to abused by one of refugee freak passes your borders easily thanks to your government politics. Please try to focus on bright side. I know, that's hard and I cannot do it myself too. But to me, it seems you are a simple man who is trying to find his place in this post-modern world, just like the same; billions of people. We always see people rich, happy, healthy, wealthy on the net. Yet it's not the reality. It's just entertainment. People sell people. You don't have to find a way to be better. You are a father of two. You will raise your kids and die one day. Just like our ancestors. Life is too complicated nowadays, which is not meant to be. Please try harder to be simpler. You are making videos without any post production, with only a camera while chatting. How simple is that? Don't you see how that works? You don't need to manage your time better, you are doing it great. I believe that your channel will be a great motivation for people all around globe. Just keep being yourself. And to do that, you don't need to do anything exceptional, because this is you. Only keep breathing.
You have a Brand now with this channel. You are in Marketing. Maybe a new challenge can be growing your Brand and using your expertise. Your “Real Takes” from an “Ordinary Salaryman” or something
Some people call it being a "Journeyman". A man who sees the simple pleasures and does not give in to the terrible pressure of comparing themselves to how other men "appear" to be doing better in life, but actually may not be any happier, just more secretive and pretending, not open and honest about their life and how they are coping.
Bro, I’m 47 non-Japanese with 3 kids at international schools (2 in Japan elementary and junior high, 1 in Canada university), own a home inside the Yamanote line loop and searching for another property. My motivation is total freedom fun and allow my kids to have all the opportunities I didn’t have. I own startup businesses in japan, operated by myself. If you cannot challenge yourself as an entrepreneur, then you have to get the highest paying ticket you can get as a salary man, you have 10 years of employment left as a Japanese staff. Thinking too much will keep you paralyzed, unstoppable massive action will change your physiology increase your testosterone to younger levels and recover your hungry challenger mindset. The best opportunities are OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! 🔥
This seems like a priorites question:
1. spend more free time on family
2. spend more time on side hustles(rent out your car, gear etc.
3.keep living the current life
There are more options and you can currtainly combine some of these. However the point is find what you self want to prioritize and work twoards achiciving that. There WILL need to be sacrafices in order to get where you want to be, or Else you would allready be there.
Compare yourself to who you where yesterday, not someone else today :) I'm having to restart my life and career at 44, the hardships men face internationally are rarely highlighted but it's getting better. Good luck friend.
There is nothing wrong with a boring life, we live life as best as we are able to. Thank you for sharing your story...at least, I don't feel so alone thinking about being close to 50 and wondering, what's next?
Please take care and I wish you all the best.
I don't know what the conclusion I will have but I will do my best.
Time Management is the key. Create a followable schedule. For me, just put kids to bed early, quickly finish the chores, and use the rest of whatever time left before bed.
With all due respect I admire the Japanese culture and the respect and consideration for others, nothing is perfect but you have a beautiful country full of history an excellent arquitecture! I know you an a difficult stage of your life but like you said your healthy and your family needs you!! Don’t loose hope is there!!! Thank you sharing with us👍🏻
I think you should start with small goals. Too big of an idea will overwhelm you. But one small step at a time will build confidence and energy. The brain will start to direct you.
hey Askjapan - really enjoying your videos lately and thank you for keeping them coming :)
i don't know much about your lifestyle and how physically active you are, but my recommendation would be to start working out (strength training + cardio). once you start changing your physiology, i think you'll notice that you have a lot more energy and motivation all across life. it can also be fun and rewarding to see physical changes and see yourself becoming stronger and more athletic. it also makes you feel like you are accomplishing something challenging, which you mentioned in this video. i know you're busy with your job and family but even if you can start working out 3 times a week in the gym for an hour, i think you could make a lot of progress at your age. it should not take that much time and the return on investment is very high. hope that helps :)
We will support you and your family i love your videos
I appreciate your honesty and candid talk about what's happening in your life. I have no kids, no spouse, not even a dog. It appears that I'm going to have to find a new job soon, and that can be difficult, since US employers don't seem to like hiring older people, even though that's technically illegal.
Maybe your wife can take some kind of part time job after your kids are in school all day. That could help decrease your stress about finances - having 28 years left on a mortgage is a long time! Maybe you could be a full time UA-camr, or start some kind of business.
My rent is about half my take home pay, but i don't want to buy a place, because I'm trying to get Czech citizenship by descent so i can live in Europe, where the cost of living seems to be less than here in the US.
Unfortunately, the Bank of Japan seems to have made some bad decisions that have led to the devaluation of the yen. But that seems to be bringing in more tourists. Maybe you could become a tour guide.
I think you're pretty good at socializing, I could never make videos like you do! Although my job is tech support, so i have to talk to random people having computer problems all the time at work. The redeeming factors are that i work from home and i do 12 hour overnight shifts 3 days/week and every other Saturday.
Maybe if you were able to get a job with a foreign company in Japan, you could enjoy an atmosphere that isn't predicated on staying at the office so long because it's tradition.
It’s not time you need, but a strong commitment to do something. Then you will find the time.
Stop comparing yourself! Theres is no other you, you are extraordinary, one of a kind. There is no one out there that could replace you so dont think oh I cant do that because he did it so early or he has that so I can't do that. Yiu have your own life and your own opportunities.
If you really want to try something new you have to start taking every free minute on the side to try out new things. This will probably suck even more than what youre going through now as youve described in earlier videos because you will have even less free time but we have to be willing to bring sacrifices for change. And if that means that lets say for the next 2-5 years you just bombard youself with new challenges that you always wanted to try and devote all your time into it and maybe find one thing that really fulfills you you can than pursue that and live the rest of your years happier than you have ever been! But you habe to give room for those possibilities! Take risks! Be daring but of course be calculated! You have responsibilities so you habe to do risk assessments first you cant just jump into risks like a 20 year old thats just what you have to deal with. But I truly believe that the human no matter how many years of bad habits can change and overcome anything.
Thansk for your comment. I hope I will overcome this soon.
I dont know what to say to help you, but let me tell you this : I really admire you. Both you and your wife are doing your best to raise a family. So dont feel bad for sleeping enough , or eating well, you gotta be there for your kids for as long as possible ❤ And regarding the middle aged crisis... don't worry, I also have one , and im only 30😅 keep going, you are amazing! 🎉❤
Thanks for sharing, i like your video
New subbie here👋. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable in having these conversations. By doing so, you are able to share, inform and encourage others. In turn, I hope in all you are giving others that you too receive help/ direction and more clarity for your future. You've got this 👍
Keep going with the youtube my friend mix it up and create your quality content. You are helping move Japan in the right direction.
thanks
I believe in you! It takes time to figure things out. Even if a hobby seems boring, it still may be good to try! When you start the hobby, you can find other people and new friends who also like the hobby. I hope that will make life not so boring. Once you find a hobby you like, you can also share it with your children and your children might really like it too.
50 years old must be some turning point
From the USA but I agree with a lot of what you're saying/a lot of similar struggles.
You just uploaded it on a social platform that can really help you. People are obviously interested in your videos. I say keep uploading and maybe in the future the channel can provide some financial aid. You also have family that will hopefully support you in the future as well. DONT LOSE hope, You will find a way out! I believe it
Brother
Do what best you can do..
Be grateful for what you have..
The life you have may be dream for many.
We as human always wants more in life
So this will keep going on
Thanks
You’re doing great! If we had everything we wanted and didn’t want anymore, life would be even more boring. I’m 31 and have had multiple crisis’s with the change of stages in life. It’s better to be spontaneous and flexible to adapt to life’s changes. You’ll find your way and things will work out for you and your family 😁👍🏻
This channel is your new challenge, keep it up and maybe it'll be the thing that makes your life better
This isn’t advice for you. But for men in general, and can be modified according to situation.
There are three primary duties of man:
- The first duty is to oneself; maintain health and wellbeing.
- The second duty is to your wife and family; ensuring they are cared for and loved. This includes being the provider, responsibility at work and professional relationships.
- The third duty is to your parents and to your ancestors; to honor them.
Master these duties and you master what it means to be a man
Most men the world over do not see it that way. The world has changed, but the mentality of men remains in the past. Men may become extinct or very few in the future.
@@eddenoy321 some of the smartest men lived 2500 years ago. The age of philosophy and reason. Seems it comes and goes.
@@StarwaterCWS Well I hope it returns before males cease to exist, only to be replaced by cloning and other means of that sort. Science fiction could become reality.
I would like to refer the youtuber named Nomad push. He's japanese as well roaming all over japan
I recently found him. Very interesting.
Don't quit your job unless you find a new job or your biusiness can replace your existing income.
True
I am 75. At 50 I married and got the first of my three children. Thanks to life, I re-birthed. Never give up bro!
Be realistic, yes. But please do not say “my life is boring”. I wish I could give you a hug. I understand you’re struggling, and you’re so strong. Keep fighting. Change your mindset, focus on the reason you’d study. You’d study for a better career for example, or for enjoyment, if you’re studying something you enjoy.
I respect people taking care of kids. It's really hard.
One thing that I have started doing is learning to make and record music. I am able to do it at home in the evenings. I love music, I am learning new things, and I have a hard goal to produce an album! It has been giving me a lot to look forward to lately. I saw in your other video that you play guitar. Maybe look into getting into music more! I have two children and a full time job. 38 years old here from Oregon USA.
Hi, I have just discovered you and have listened to some of your posts, you seem to be very dissatisfied with your life and I get that you are probably looking for advice to improve things, right. I think you must know that only you know, what you need to improve your situation, but I also know it helps to talk about it. LOTS of people seem to have given good strong advice which shows how we care about you, I do hope you take some of it on board. And it is so true that you have a lot to be happy with. Just imagine if you were coming home every night to a completely empty house, no kids no one to kiss hello and share a drink with which is the case for so many people without any hope of change for the better. Please believe me true happiness does not take a lot and it is all about the people in your life. All of us on here are reaching out to you because we like you and want to make you feel better. I for one would like to be your friend . Make sure you take care of yourself, eat & sleep well and take time to look at your family and think how beautiful they are and that they are yours, Anita
Thanks for your advice. In Japan, there is no like "conversation club" to open up our stress. If there is the one, I would like to take it.
Are you sure there are no groups of people to talk with because you are not alone in feeling as you do. Here in England you would start by talking to your family doctor who would provide you with a councillor to talk with, do you have such people in Japan? I am concerned that your life is being ruined by your worries, and you are over thinking everything. I hear that many people in Japan are becoming increasingly lonely, I also know that the Japanese are very private and keep themselves to themselves. You are able to open up and say what you feel which is good and may be all you need but I would really like to see you feeling happier. At 50 you are still a young man with lots more life and possibilities to enjoy Also what is your first name, or do you not want to say, if so, thats ok . Take care Anita
Beautifully expressed...hello empath💜
I think you're doing awesome. Life happens whether you control it or not.
If there is online ordering for grocery shopping, you could save some time by ordering online and picking it up at the store.
It might be a good idea to talk to your wife about her taking a job part-time, if not now, then when your youngest is a little older. Then you and your wife can work on how to fairly split the house chores when she is working.
You are going through a mid-life crisis.
It is okay to be unhappy! It is hard to be responsible, and I appreciate how responsible you are. I’m sure your children will be grateful when they are older and can understand.
We are all very stressed by money and the rising costs of everything around the world. I am sometimes too stressed to figure out a plan for what to do. Because this is hard, I have started learning breathing exercises and doing meditation to help with my mental and physical stress. I know that when I am less stressed I am able to make a better plan, because thinking is less painful. Maybe learning some breathing exercises will help you when you need one minute to calm your thoughts.
Actually yes we have online grocery but will cost 1.5 times bigger
You are so nice to your wife :-) I also have 2 children and had to work full time, do house cleaning, cooking, buying groceries and everything...
I manage horribly ha Inflation here is bad as well. Good to see you and your family doing well.
brother, life is hard but I think you have an ideal life that I'm working to build for myself. you and your wife are a great team and you look like a 35 year old man with a full head of hair and you have 2 children to keep you motivated to provide. I don't think your wife should work because I think you are a good man that has enabled this life for his family and her best role is to take care of you and the family especially at your children ages. I don't think I would quit your job without securing new employment at a new company to have a fresh start with them and be able to work for promotions there. I'm not a great socializer either I am just working on gaining new skills to get a higher income job but to me you have a lot of what I am working for. I feel like I have 1/3 life crisis every other day I can only imagine the mid life crisis I will have later lol but hopefully I'm doing as well as you by then :) I think you are doing a lot better than you tell your self and you should be proud of what you have built in life so far.
Appreciate the honest dialog and can feel much like yourself at times. If you really want to make changes, you'll just need to accept that you can't do everything, and will only be able to focus on at most three things if you really have the energy. You can do it and your life will be unbalanced, but that's okay. Slow progress is better than no progress. Rooting for you sir.
Losing motivation and feeling flat can be related to hormonal imbalance, i highly recommend to test your testosterone levels, many 50 yr olds have to take testosterone replacement therapy, usually after this they gain back their motivation and drive. There is many natural ways to boost immunity ant hormon functions, If you feel like your life is boring and over at 50, something is not right, usually life of man starts at age of 50. 50 to 65 is the golden age, please dont waste it. Life and every day is new opportunity and gift, im really gratefull of my life. I work 60 hours per week, still i think life is precious and beautiful gift. Thats why i spend my time in present and i love it.
People in 50 has been challenging
@@askjapan9669 life is challenging at all ages.
I'd love to see you slowly start doing more and more daring things to get out of your rut, like I'd love to see you trying new things for the first time and having fun adventures. It'd give this fellow middle aged man a lot of joy 😀
You're on the right path.
My father was able to keep golf a part of his life while raising myself and siblings playing early in the morning before work. Perhaps you can adjust find your own new passion. Woodworking, hiking, surfing, calligraphy none which require socializing. Or you can independent study something you wished you had learned before. Not for profit or business at first, but to better understand yourself, and better feel you’re continuing to grow as a person and father. Wish you well from California!
Great videos! What I find most fascinating is you grew up during what I would say is japans best era 80s and 90s anime and video games were amazing! To see that generation grow up is interesting
use a checklist and prioritize... by the way, health is everything..
Can you teach us your audience about Japan, show us interesting spots tell us about it and its history if there is history connected to the spot, the basics of the Japanese language, show us how Japanese daily life works from your POV as a native? Also the social issues on Japan and your take on them? I think people will listen to whatever you would like to talk about especially since you communicate well and in a sincere manner.
I think anything you share to give a window into the people, country, language, culture, daily living or even societal issues you care about will allow you to continue to have heart to heart conversations with your audience. This on turn will grow your audience and enable you to begin making an income via the channel.
Talk to your wife about it. Maybe she would like a change too.
Be curious - explore many possibilities and eventually you will both find a personally fullfilling challenge to pursue.
Actually, me and my wife have disussed all the time but we haven't have any solutions yet.
@@askjapan9669 it took over 10 years of talking with my wife to reach a point of collective action... Keep persisting....
The power of NOW. Look for Blessings in the present moment. The smallest one. Roof over you had. Chair that supports you. Table on which yp7 can do so many things…it is a mental shift that can create a New Beginning..
As a suggestion - start with a new challenge in the area of health/physical activity (running, swimming etc.) first. It´s cheap and requires only the willpower. It helped me a lot, as along the way you gain a great feeling of being in control of your life. And once you gain this feeling, you surprisingly feel yourself able to move to the next target.
Bicycle is good for your joints and very easy to start. Your first ride might be 500m, but then your next ride might be 1-2km, and there on. There is so much to see out in the open world. You cannot feel the same way in a car. Even taking bicycle to buy groceries is something extra in your life.
I never thought about it, thanks
Channels like these were what YOU tube was, made for!
It's admirable that you're open about your challenges and seeking ways to navigate through them. Remember, finding balance and setting achievable goals, even small ones, can help regain motivation and clarity amidst life's complexities. 💪 Keep exploring, and you'll discover the path that resonates with you!
Just as you’ve been finding the free time to make these videos, maybe you could do something you would like to do as a challenge?
The next question is what challenge do you want to do.
I watched this video last night about a person on the internet who decided to create an official church of their anime waifu because it was funny, but it became so big that instead of people thinking that it’s weird they started to mostly get impressed.
Maybe you would be interested in doing something that is personal to you that makes you laugh but be so talented at it that it will be world changing in that niche.
Being the best at something is always a lot of fun, not because of the competition but because of the story and journey of all the exciting mind blowing things you could do in anticipation of doing the unthinkable.
A little tips for your channel: you can pick up some tv channel from your country that you like, and translate them for us! Somenthing like crazy shows or news
Time for teamwork motivation! Being a mom to kids makes you good at multitasking. Anyway, my kids are now adults. Phew! I used to have part-time evening job at a takeaway shop. Weekend work in catering (full day). Daytime during weekdays are not a problem with kids and house chores. When they got little older, they can go to school and come home on their own. Then later I got a full time 9-5 job. You know how Korean women cook meals and keep them in the fridge for like 1 week. I did that. But, only one dish due to budget. I made something similar to stew/soup (veg & meat). Sometimes spaghetti or pasta. Either the kids cook the rice or microwave them (ready-made). For safety reasons, I train them not to open/answer the door. Educate them about fire, electrical safety and blah blah blah.. Act like no one at home until parents come home. If want to watch tv, lower down the volume. Close windows with curtains. Mobile phones are a must for kids (emergency). You should never tell anyone that your kids are alone. Trust no one! Paedophiles, this and that mental issue in society is something you should be careful about. Teach them if encounter someone when walking home/school, who intends to kidnap or molest. Scream for help. Fight and escape. Hit that "F@*K" part hard or whatever part of the body to make the sicko stop chasing them. Even school teachers nowadays teach children as young as 4 years old what to do if faced with shooting attack. It is becoming common in the US and Europe. Perhaps you can do home business when you're retire. Mom can also be a child minder to take care of other children. I once sent my kids when they were small to a Sri Lankan old lady. She also cared other two kids from the same school. Cheaper than proper qualified child minder. She only send and fetch the kids to/from school till I come to pick them up. I gotten them the packed meal from home. This person should have her criminal record checked ☝️ Well, you know what is best for your family 🫲
What are the things in the world you are most passionate about? What are the topics you love? Is there an activity you love? My grandfather always said, “Follow your bliss,” this advice has served me well. Hopefully, it helps you.
Be frugal as a family. Help out each other as a family. (All sort of work, including house work. "Work as team").
Start a small business if you can minimise the risk, you can save lots of tax. (For example do a buy and sell small business & don't quit your job until you make sure your business start to kick off.)
I was a small business owner and I help my wife do all the chores too. I am 50 years old with an 8 years old. We both retired and live a very frugal life and teaching my son to be frugal as well.
Don't buy iPhones anymore, they're too expensive! I use a Sony and its 4 times cheaper.
Sometimes your biggest challenge is to try to figure out what your next big thing is. Maybe it's something, maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's the experience of figuring it out. Be fluid with life, a river doesn't stop when it encounters a rock, it flows around it. Be fluid with your life and enjoy the good and the bad that you're experiencing, it's a part of aging and thriving. When the next big thing in your life presents itself you will be ready for it with this mindset. We are conditioned to want more than what we have instead of appreciating what we do or do not have in the moment. I hope this helps. Sending love from Connecticut, USA ❤
Thanks. I am asking myself what the next challenge for me.
i really love your videos, please keep making them!
Wow thanks
I’m 44 years old and I’m also feeling middle age crisis…I’m still single and currently feel bored and lack motivation to meet new people …Since Covid, I’ve lost interest in going out and have never really gone out since then. High food costs and high inflation is not helping either. Right now, I feel stuck and can’t get unstuck. I also work from home so all these circumstances im culmination is the reason why I’min the situation I am in right now
One aspect that many non-Japanese do not comprehend fully is just how incredibly monotonous Japanese society and culture really is. You cannot appreciate the nuisances of this fact unless you live in Japan for as long as I have. I am sure there are exceptions and if you are financially well off but for most Japanese are strapped to this concept known as honne and tatemae. Japan and Japanese society are an anomoly and is not "normal" behavior in humans in other countries.
There are Japanese men who literally do not know what to do. My next door neighbor having no hobbies sits with his wife watching television all day. He has no friends. It is like living in a nursing home without the care. There are thousands of Japanese men like this.
Hello, I completely agree with you. I have lived in Japan for 6 years now and my wife told me about honne and tatemae, It is rather strange and being from the UK/British It is weird to me. I have 2 kids and my wife is Japanese and I just turned 40. My Japanese is not great, to be fair I have been lazy to learn it. I have not managed to make any friends or if I do make any friends, they simply want to speak English and not actually make friends. My best friends are simply my wife and kids haha. I started making youtube videos too, not to become famous, just because I felt I might be able to reach out, although I dont have much time to make videos. Is it interesting to watch these videos and listen go an actual Japanese man speak about his feelings.
@@jimmychaninjapan3982 You are going to experience precisely what I experienced. You are going to have to make some tough decisions. My two daughters raised in Japan who are bingual said screw this and left Japan.
What advice can you give me, please? What decisions should I make?
I’m 50 years old and I recently took on a second job working as a steward at a music venue. I mostly work weekends but it offers me some flexibility around my family life. I also split the income from this with my family so that they benefit from my not being there on this occasion which helps the household budget
What is the new challenge you are interested in? I would hope you could somehow get into something new slowly. Without having to completely quit your job first. Try not to over stress on trying to hurry.
I am looking for what they are but nothing so far
@@askjapan9669you know, there's two philosophies on that:
one is to (get lucky and) know your passion and follow that.
But the other is committing to something you're interested in and then gradually getting better at it, and then it starts to grow into a passion because you see results and thus becomes more fun.
Just something to think about. Most people don't have that automagically. Personally I tried loads of things and eventually narrowed in on things I care about. It's a process.
Some even say the path is the goal, not the destination.
We are all rooting for you 💪
That is good that your wife is taking care of the house and the children. I live in US. Most children are put into a day care or take care of themselves while both parents are away.
Start jogging outside, challenge yourself to increase your distance each week. Jogging or running is very good for mental and physical health, and it doesn’t cost anything 👍
Still we need extra time
@@askjapan9669 Yes, but you can run for only 20 minutes each day. Everybody has 20 minutes for exercise I think.
Motivation never comes from the outside and rarely from the inside. There is only ONE person to motivate you, that’s yourself.
Hello friend! It sounds to me that you are unhappy with your life.
But I think it’s because you THINK your life is not blessed. But in reality, you have a steady job, you have a loyal wife who supports you, you have 2 wonderful children, you have your health.
You see it as “boring” but so many people will kill just to change places with you.
Once you realize and clearly see this, 90% of your problems will go away.
I don’t think he’s unhappy with life at all, nor find it boring. He’s stressed out at his current situation.
You hold the ability to influence minds and share compelling ideas to the world. You've even created an audience who regularly watches your videos. It's a talent you seem to dedicate a lot of time into, it is a powerful one.
Perhaps keeping your job is the correct option. Maybe switching your job to something that integrates your talents is the right option. Nobody can truly give you advice. There is a short video called "Noam Chomsky - What Should I Do?", which captures this idea well. It's a 1-2 minute video, I would watch it if you have the chance.
In this day and age, it is easy to fall into sorrow, worry, fear. I'm sure you will find your own way if you search hard enough, acknowledge your talents, not controlled by the external aspects of the world.
What about reviving Tatenokai? 🤩
You may be the chosen one.
I'm not very social either and there are a lot of successful start-up founders who were famously introverted. What worked for me is to find a business partner who complements your skills and personality. I have started multiple businesses with co-founders who are very social and love being the front man while I take care of the business behind the scenes. It's similar to how rock bands work. There needs to be a charismatic front person, a talented song writer, hardworking musicians and a capable leader. Maybe you can find some partners to fill areas you aren't good at. Nobody can do everything.
Love seeing someone like us..but from Japan!.low vitamin D..especially when we age..wrecks our health.you are great at this...fascinating..and rather lovely how the world can come together still.time..enjoy every moment.💜uk
Missing the bubble era of Japan and starting a career in the 90s must have been a huge challenge.