Disney’s ARTEMIS FOWL is a Complete Disgrace | Cynical Reviews

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  • Опубліковано 8 лип 2020
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    Artemis Fowl (2020), Disney’s adaptation of Eion Colfer’s fantasy book series, which was recently released on their streaming service Disney+, is a complete disgrace. Awful in every respect, confusing to newcomers and insulting to fans of the franchise, it should have stayed in development hell.
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    The Kino Corner - / thekinocorner
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    0:24 - Introduction & General Comments
    3:35 - Casting and Characters
    6:49 - Adapting the Book
    9:15 - Plot Runthrough & Story Issues
    15:36 - Conclusion
    16:44 - Merch Drop
    17:36 - Outro & Patreon Credits
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    ---Music Credits---
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    #ArtemisFowl #ArtemisFowlReview #Disney #Ad
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  • @CynicalReviews
    @CynicalReviews  3 роки тому +757

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    • @trinaq
      @trinaq 3 роки тому +2

      Please cover the "Last Airbender", the "Fantastic 4" reboot or "Pixels"! 😍

    • @namelessentity5851
      @namelessentity5851 3 роки тому +3

      Kenneth Branagh, the same f'ing guy who made a wonderful rendition of 'Henry V' was involved in this!?. That is as bleak as waiting 33 years for Ridley Scott to make a worthy successor to 'Alien'... only to have him take a big giant 'Prometheus' on us.

    • @karstais
      @karstais 3 роки тому

      Did you misspell the promo code at 9:05 ? BTW you got some nice die

    • @elvingearmasterirma7241
      @elvingearmasterirma7241 3 роки тому +2

      Watch the Percy Jackson movies. I dare you.

    • @user-fq4hj8yv2z
      @user-fq4hj8yv2z 3 роки тому

      Disney - Let's stop there

  • @missm8067
    @missm8067 3 роки тому +9308

    “This might well be the worst adaptation since Avatar: The Last Airbender.”
    Those are some bold words to begin the video with, sir...

    • @Messwithmitchie
      @Messwithmitchie 3 роки тому +176

      what a bold statement

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 3 роки тому +138

      A seriously amazingly bold one

    • @watermelonspice513
      @watermelonspice513 3 роки тому +317

      He forgot abt Percy Jackson too

    • @YourPrivateNightmare
      @YourPrivateNightmare 3 роки тому +368

      and yet unbelievably correct.
      I mean, at least Avatar didn't rewrite Aang to be an edgy loner or something

    • @ladyvader3173
      @ladyvader3173 3 роки тому +256

      @@YourPrivateNightmare Worse, did that to Sokka

  • @panicontheargo7034
    @panicontheargo7034 3 роки тому +3571

    I’m really bitter about how they rewrote Artemis’s character. He’s supposed to be cold, and somewhat unnerving to talk to. He hates physical contact, so when his dad (who’s not even supposed to appear until the second book) hugged him, he’s supposed to be stiff and uncomfortable. Also, what’s with the surfing scene? Isn’t he supposed to hate sports and stuff? Good lord I’m so bitter at this movie. First Percy Jackson, then Avatar, and now this...
    Ok, imma edit this and add all the books that were done dirty by the movies based on the comment thread:
    Percy Jackson
    Avatar the last Airbender
    Aragon
    Death note

    • @andymac4883
      @andymac4883 3 роки тому +318

      Not to mention the fact that he *always* wears a suit in the books, from what I recall, whereas here he is wearing a hoodie and jeans? Artemis of the books wouldn't be caught dead in a hoodie unless he had to wear one for an ulterior motive! Nor would he be outside helping Butler in a fight. I doubt Butler would even _let_ him, since you know, Butler is supposed to be his bloody bodyguard.

    • @snap-n-shoot
      @snap-n-shoot 3 роки тому +128

      The opening scene in the book at the coffee shop in the book sets the tone, and it was completely missed. It is Disney though so family values and sugary sweet ethics will ruin good story-lines.

    • @dimataha7175
      @dimataha7175 3 роки тому +8

      @@andymac4883 In book 4

    • @andymac4883
      @andymac4883 3 роки тому +159

      @@dimataha7175 Talking about how he wears casual clothes, talks in a stereotypically teenaged way and carries a scooter? As I recall, he only did that for the sake of getting into a bank to pull off a heist, and he hated every second of it.

    • @dimataha7175
      @dimataha7175 3 роки тому +35

      @@andymac4883 oh.......now I remembered.......you have a better memory.😑😑😑

  • @MeggieJolly
    @MeggieJolly 3 роки тому +1115

    When the first thing we saw of Artemis was him running to go surfing, I knew they messed up his character. Artemis doesn’t run unless someone is in mortal danger and he wouldn’t be caught dead surfing.

    • @NorokVokun
      @NorokVokun 3 роки тому +195

      He wouldnt be cought doing ANY physical activity... that's what butler was there for.

    • @emilyrln
      @emilyrln 3 роки тому +113

      Exactly. He would be wearing his suit and making snarky comments about the people who were there to *enjoy themselves* instead of doing important business like him (because only important business could motivate him to go to the beach).

    • @overall1937
      @overall1937 3 роки тому +26

      He hates the outdoors

    • @smuj404
      @smuj404 3 роки тому +50

      @@overall1937 It's also worth noting that he hates sweating.. Literally in chapter one of the first book!

    • @Damian-Hia
      @Damian-Hia 3 роки тому +52

      He's literally described as never goes into the sun pale, so the fact he's even outside _willingly_ is incorrect

  • @justininexile3445
    @justininexile3445 3 роки тому +1528

    Actually, gender-swapping commander Root kinda removes Holly's main character struggle - it was somewhat similar to the Zootopia where Judy Hopps felt she had to prove herself as the first bunny officer. Commander Root was harder on Holly Short because she was the first female officer, and thus all of Haven would be watching her, making her a 'test case'.
    Edit: Ah I see there was asterisk with the same point added :D carry on then!

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +39

      Its amazing.
      You think the Last Airbender
      failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right?
      But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021:
      -Artemis Fowl, duh.
      -Mulan 2020.
      -Winx Club Life Action.
      If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun
      with the Reviews on them, cause many of them
      are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end!
      All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level.
      aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level',
      despite reasonable thinking suggesting
      this cant just happen again and again and again.
      But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably
      bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if
      someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones
      and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all,
      so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is
      said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!!
      And thats saying it nicely!!
      It happened 3 times alone those last years.
      All this tells us that its not just
      a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare',
      but literal a Trend that happens.

    • @mask938
      @mask938 Рік тому +11

      @@slevinchannel7589 I nearly had a stroke trying to read the 5th paragraph of your reply. What were you trying to say there?

    • @TheDeathmail
      @TheDeathmail 8 місяців тому +1

      @@slevinchannel7589Avatar at least stuck with the source material, had decent costumes and had a proper connecting story.
      It failed due to trying to shove an entire season into less than 3 hrs....
      All these other mess ups actually don't even do that much.....

  • @chaosplank210
    @chaosplank210 3 роки тому +2103

    LITERALLY IN THE BOOKS, BUTLER DOESN'T TELL ARTEMIS HIS REAL NAME UNTIL HE GETS SHOT BELOW THE HEART IN THE ETERNITY CODE.

    • @knittydragon7149
      @knittydragon7149 3 роки тому +223

      I'm surprised I had to scroll so far to find this! It's a critical plot point in the later books, when he reveals his name!
      I read these books back when they were published, and I still remember that. It's hardly the biggest problem I guess, but way to disrespect the source material for no real gain to the movie. I think Butler just being "Butler" (in accordance with the family rules) also characterizes his role in Artemis's life, juxtaposed with how close they are as people.

    • @mort3official404
      @mort3official404 3 роки тому +78

      Yeah man that part was especially pissing me off too! Like, they found his name by looking in the books but they didn’t look at the explicit detail that it was a cardinal sin for the Butlers to give away their first name to the person they’re protecting

    • @Trackstar2058
      @Trackstar2058 3 роки тому +66

      They did it because they didn't wanna get controversial from a white boy calling a black man "Butler". I'm Black myself and even I say it wasn't that serious.

    • @raycestg3447
      @raycestg3447 3 роки тому +50

      @@Trackstar2058 Yeah man. I don't want to come across as telling others how they should think and feel, but in the context of a book (or story) it should be okay for a white boy to call a black man "Butler" because the intent was never anything bad. Artistic integrity and all that. I think Mr. Colfer did a good job being inclusive enough in the original books, giving different genders, races and ages respect and metaphorical screen time. Even a white 12 year old like me (when I read the first book for the first time) remember feeling good about Holly fighting sexism and winning as well as different races coming together to work towards a common goal. I didn't think of it like that at the time but it did help shaping me as a child and probably influenced me to be more accepting of people different than myself as I grew older.

    • @snap-n-shoot
      @snap-n-shoot 3 роки тому +35

      @@Trackstar2058 Being a Butler is not an issue. There are still Butlers and any skin color can be one, and is one. Too much offense and snowflakery in the world. The Harry Potter books could be taken apart and issues found, but they wont criticize a cash cow.

  • @lewis7909
    @lewis7909 3 роки тому +4272

    Disney when they find a fantasy book series: *ITS FEEDING TIME*

    • @tal-tail1960
      @tal-tail1960 3 роки тому +89

      Considering Fox is part of Disney, I think this also applies to Eragon and it's god awful movie adaptation

    • @caiosoares2834
      @caiosoares2834 3 роки тому +101

      Disney: Ruining book franchises since forever.

    • @emryslurker1557
      @emryslurker1557 3 роки тому +35

      Disney (and almost every studio):
      Let's make sure to foreshadow romance between the MC and the convenient girl. Even if it breaks suspension of disbelief. Urgh. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

    • @justinthibodeaux8601
      @justinthibodeaux8601 3 роки тому +8

      I hope the name pendragon never crosses their desks

    • @emryslurker1557
      @emryslurker1557 3 роки тому +12

      Can you just imagine if Disney won the rights to produce Game of Thrones/ASOIAF?! The main plot will be either "Sansa remaining her daft self and marrying a King" kind of fairytale or a Jon saves Daenerys from that desert and winning the throne fantasy. Bye bye Political Intrigues and hello silly brain-cell killer "luv-luv" story.

  • @Boredman567
    @Boredman567 3 роки тому +1266

    Funnily enough, Mulch unhinging his jaw and ejecting dirt out his ass is completely accurate to the book. Too bad they didn't apply that to much else.

    • @DraconicDuelist
      @DraconicDuelist 3 роки тому +157

      Yeah, not to mention, they made it look worse than the stuff that normally comes _out_ his ass. I mean the cg was just terrible. And he was wearing underwear that he shreds?

    • @moritamikamikara3879
      @moritamikamikara3879 3 роки тому +270

      @@DraconicDuelist Yeah bit confusing. In the books he has a bum flap on his undies so that he doesnt have to fucking destroy them every time he tunnels.
      Also, this is totally MEANT to be nightmare fuel. I agree with everything else in the movie but dwarf tunnelling is supposed to be scary.

    • @penguano1313
      @penguano1313 3 роки тому +1

      lol

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +4

      You think the Last Airbender
      failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right?
      But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021:
      -Artemis Fowl, duh.
      -Mulan 2020.
      -Winx Club Life Action.
      If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun
      with the Reviews on them, cause many of them
      are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end!
      All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level.
      aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level',
      despite reasonable thinking suggesting
      this cant just happen again and again and again.
      But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably
      bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if
      someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones
      and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all,
      so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is
      said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!!
      And thats saying it nicely!!
      It happened 3 times alone those last years.
      All this tells us that its not just
      a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare',
      but literal a Trend that happens.

    • @alzerbardoz1953
      @alzerbardoz1953 3 роки тому +3

      I almost hurled when I saw that part for the first time.

  • @tabuu9
    @tabuu9 3 роки тому +494

    Ironically, the Artemis in the original book seems more like a human.
    And he was the bad guy.

    • @anatoldenevers237
      @anatoldenevers237 3 роки тому +36

      tabuu9 yeah, Opal the main villain doesn't show up until book 2. Monsters like her are what slowly turn Artemis into a good guy

    • @zg5850
      @zg5850 2 роки тому +5

      for the first book.

  • @thejuice15
    @thejuice15 3 роки тому +3106

    Artemis in the book:
    I alone captured an elf and translated a language
    Artemis in movie:
    They insulted my dad * cries*

    • @dimataha7175
      @dimataha7175 3 роки тому +47

      Me reading the comments😑👁👄👁

    • @aderemiporsche
      @aderemiporsche 3 роки тому +93

      Somebody needs to turn this comment into the Buff Doge Vs Crying Cheem format.

    • @vrish1420
      @vrish1420 3 роки тому +28

      They turned Artemis into a pussy

    • @b3nl555
      @b3nl555 3 роки тому +57

      @@vrish1420 He turned from a big brain CHAD to a small brain virgin

    • @newttonium
      @newttonium 3 роки тому +4

      @@b3nl555 isn’t that what he somewhat became in the books

  • @kingbash6466
    @kingbash6466 3 роки тому +3643

    Artemis Fowl: (gets a bad movie adaption)
    Percy Jackson and Eragon: First time?

    • @gwenethp511
      @gwenethp511 3 роки тому +76

      E,, eragon,, 😔

    • @Cloudy-tt1vn
      @Cloudy-tt1vn 3 роки тому +192

      Eragon was so bad. I was about 12 when I watched it and even I could see the horrible mistakes and the worst cliches.

    • @kyotheman69
      @kyotheman69 3 роки тому +38

      like you to meet, Jem and John Carter

    • @senritsujumpsuit6021
      @senritsujumpsuit6021 3 роки тому +32

      The casting for the Eragon Dragon :/ oh my XD

    • @tonhaogamergranudo
      @tonhaogamergranudo 3 роки тому +107

      Oh dude, why did you have to remind us of Eragon? Damn. How many times theses suits on Hollywood butcher beloved franchises? And then they blame the source material! It's mind boggling!

  • @jennaheiser625
    @jennaheiser625 2 роки тому +293

    It was a massive problem to call Butler “Dom” for several reasons.
    One: The Butler family had a long and proud heritage, and he was actively proud of the name.
    Two: Almost no one alive knew his name, and it was extremely significant that Artemis knew. It was very humanizing to give Artemis such a close relationship with someone.
    Three: Saying Butler’s full name (Domovoi) was actually a secret password between them, and was a very touching part of a subplot where Butler almost died.
    I don’t mind race-blind casting most of the time, but if it meant that calling him “Butler” made things problematic…then it was the wrong choice here. Black people have been massively marginalized and misrepresented in media, but showing Asian (or half Asian, in this case) characters as badass heroes without being silly martial artists is rare. Butler was a master martial artist, but he was also strong, imposing, and extremely capable. Give us the half Asian, badass Butler that we fans deserve!

    • @pau_5435
      @pau_5435 Рік тому +34

      Yes, thank you!! Also, giving him bleached hair and BLUE FREAKING CONTACTS was completely unecessary ; it made his whole character feel quite gimmicky, and took away so much of his credibility.

    • @jennaheiser625
      @jennaheiser625 Рік тому +5

      @@pau_5435 500%

    • @moony555
      @moony555 Рік тому +25

      Not to mention Butler was notorious for 1v1ing a fkin troll while wearing a full suit of armor and a flail after the first book

    • @SalientSaturn
      @SalientSaturn 2 місяці тому +1

      I stopped reading at “where butler almost died” because I’m only on the first book and haven’t got that far yet😭

    • @jennaheiser625
      @jennaheiser625 2 місяці тому

      @@SalientSaturn Glad you held off! It’s such a fun series! I hope you make it farther than I did (stopped at Atlantis Complex).

  • @thedeepfriar745
    @thedeepfriar745 Рік тому +92

    “He didn’t think that audiences would connect with a criminal character.” The book series has sold over 40 million copies. There totally isn’t an audience

    • @frankieseward8667
      @frankieseward8667 Місяць тому +3

      Yeah. It definitely isn't on par with Hunger games, LOTR, and the Lorien Legacies

  • @Chucklebot_
    @Chucklebot_ 3 роки тому +4827

    I sincerely hope that the fans don't take the hate out on the child actor chosen for the role. That happened to the kid that played young anakin, and his life was ruined from that point on. Put the blame on the production crew. Not the kid that isn't even old enough to go to a PG-13 movie yet.

    • @Aster_Risk
      @Aster_Risk 3 роки тому +566

      Absolutely. Hopefully nothing like that happens.

    • @megamage911
      @megamage911 3 роки тому +862

      Honestly, in general people need to learn this. Stop shitting on actors for things that are clearly problems with the writing that they don't have any power over.

    • @strigonshitposting793
      @strigonshitposting793 3 роки тому +296

      Yeah, I feel really bad for both of those actors. I’d hate to be in their position.

    • @maxphilpott9677
      @maxphilpott9677 3 роки тому +34

      What’s wrong with young anninken

    • @ThatneGuy-wi8od
      @ThatneGuy-wi8od 3 роки тому +382

      @@maxphilpott9677 his young actor got bullied REALLY hard when he was in school because he played young anakin. His life went downhill fast.

  • @KardboardKenny
    @KardboardKenny 3 роки тому +4818

    I'm so old, that i can remember when the name "Disney" on a film guaranteed a great product.

    • @thundahsenshi150
      @thundahsenshi150 3 роки тому +184

      Those were the days....

    • @tincano-beans2114
      @tincano-beans2114 3 роки тому +136

      Except they never have been stellar? They've been a rollercoaster for decades...

    • @gadielgonzalez2755
      @gadielgonzalez2755 3 роки тому +7

      Heyooooo

    • @luismarioguerrerosanchez4747
      @luismarioguerrerosanchez4747 3 роки тому +213

      @Alex Kerley I think that from Snow White to the Princess and the Frog there were only a few stinckers between.
      But after they shut down their hand drown animation studios they've only made mediocre safe films.

    • @dragonempress8367
      @dragonempress8367 3 роки тому +27

      I'm in my twenties and I could still remember those days

  • @alexhoughton3305
    @alexhoughton3305 3 роки тому +274

    *The troll fightscene in the book:* _one of the most badass things to ever exist in a children's book_
    *The troll fightscene in the movie:* _ResidentSleeper_

    • @Nippontradamus
      @Nippontradamus Рік тому +10

      It would be fitting to have Rip and Tear playing in the book version, because Butler owns and *spares* the life of a troll with nothing but an armor and mace, which usually takes a small army of magical beings to just tranquillise

  • @adammuth3766
    @adammuth3766 3 роки тому +107

    Maaaan. The opening scene of the first book is so strong. From Artemis intimidating the waiter, to tricking and poisoning the fairy, to blackmailing her for the book, it tells you absolutely everything you need to know about the character. And it's just gone.
    Artemis is clever and patient. He spends weeks, maybe months on stakeouts watching trees in case a fairy turns up. He slowly pieces together the fairy language by studying ancient texts and finding similarities. The way he plays the fairies and escapes the blue rinse, it's all great. And they just throw it out.
    Artemis is the villain, at least to begin with. They didn't have the balls to see that through.

    • @TheFatalcrest
      @TheFatalcrest 4 місяці тому

      I'd argue he's a outright villian for about 2 or 3 books, and he slowly but surely goes from Black hat to mmm....Charcoal Gray Hat, he's never objectively working to be nice or even within the law, but he will prevent fairy society and human society from clashing because he has allies (and Friends in select cases) that he values greatly.

  • @Spaceman-ol2fw
    @Spaceman-ol2fw 3 роки тому +901

    The reason that I care about Commander Root’s gender is that it means that we don’t get Holly having to struggle against sexism in the workplace

    • @night-seeker666
      @night-seeker666 3 роки тому +82

      The one time the fight against sexism goes against the fight against sexism.
      Oh right, every single wave of feminism after 2.

    • @halfbloodprincess989
      @halfbloodprincess989 3 роки тому +34

      @@night-seeker666 What do you mean? I guess you could call Hollys storyline feministic (being the first female officer etc)... but how exactly does that extrapolate to "the fight against sexism goes against the fight against sexism" in "every single wave of feminism after 2?"
      Hollys storyline in the books (that are btw waaaay better than this garbagefire movie, I read them as a child =) is sort of based on her not being taken seriously by her colleages and being under close scrutiny by the public+politicians.
      I'm also not really sold on commander Root being female now for no reason. Not only did they destroy Hollys storyline with that nonsense, but this adds nothing to the story. I guess they just really wanted to have Judy Dench in their film...

    • @night-seeker666
      @night-seeker666 3 роки тому +71

      @@halfbloodprincess989 I meant that nowadays in Hollywood they're changing characters into black people and women, because of politics. Now the gender swapping of a male character ruined a storyline which had empowerment in it.

    • @halfbloodprincess989
      @halfbloodprincess989 3 роки тому +15

      @@night-seeker666 Yeah I get the gender-swapping-bad take, I just don't understand how that relates to the 3rd+ waves of feminism? I'd bet they wanted to have Judy Dench in the movie to boost ticket sales, so they gender-swapped Root as their isn't really a female character Dench could play. I' pretty shure feminism had nothing to do with that desicion.
      I'm generally not a fan of Hollywood changing the gender or scincolour of their characters. Hermine from the Harry Potter franchise is black now -and they couldn't even be bothered to think of a way to make the change from white teenage Hermine to adult black Hermine organic (it's a wizarding world, I'm shure they could have found an organic way like 'drank the wrong potion' or whatever). Hollywood is so f*cking lazy.

    • @carlotta4th
      @carlotta4th 3 роки тому +11

      Which frankly wasn't a very important part of the book. It's a nice side story but it mostly creates interesting character interactions between her and Root--easily cuttable for a theatrical film.
      Of course, I'd much rather have seen that than a totally new dumb "missing dads" plot but you know ...that's expecting competant script writing.

  • @absolite6
    @absolite6 3 роки тому +2237

    "So what motivated you to make this movie?"
    Disney: *Money*

    • @user-fq4hj8yv2z
      @user-fq4hj8yv2z 3 роки тому +13

      Nah just to throw money just for the heck of it

    • @trinaq
      @trinaq 3 роки тому +13

      The cash cow goes "Moo"! 🐮 💵

    • @taags
      @taags 3 роки тому +4

      Did they make any money on this?

    • @absolite6
      @absolite6 3 роки тому +6

      @@taags Since it's on Disney+, the money would be coming from subscription revenue. However considering the budget this movie had, it's doubtful that that alone could make an actual profit.
      That said more people would mostly be indoors due to the pandemic and would most likely be spending more time on streaming services and that might be enough to bring in a bit more money rather that if it was released just on Disney+ minus the pandemic. I can't find what it's actual viewership rate is though.

    • @JacobHillSBD
      @JacobHillSBD 3 роки тому +4

      @@absolite6 It was originally supposed to be released theatrically, but then the Pandemic hit.

  • @taproot0619
    @taproot0619 3 роки тому +486

    The only nitpick I have is that Changing Root's gender actually is pretty important and damaging. The rest of what was said is spot-on, but this was off the mark for one reason:
    In the books, holly was the first female officer. The first book opens with her going to the station to report for duty for the first time, and all the excitement and anxiety that came with being the first female officer. She broke the glass ceiling. She had done what no woman in the fairy world had done. And she knew all the men on the force would be skeptical of her (if not down right sexist against her) which gives a much more believable reason as to why the force distrusts her instead of the "your dad was a traiter" b.s. they pulled in the movie.
    By having Commander Root, the head of the police force, be an old grizzled, veteran female member of the force, it completely takes away Holly's accomplishments. She's just another officer. She is no longer special, nor is she instantly relatable. You don't automatically start cheering for her before you even get past the first chapter this way. It destroys the first connection you have to her as a character.
    So yeah, tiny nitpick, and the movie definitely deserves all the shit you just threw at it, and probably more. I just think you downplayed this one but as less important than it really was.
    Sorry for the rant, and have a nice day.

    • @DraconicDuelist
      @DraconicDuelist 3 роки тому +12

      He did add an asterisk, but if people only listen to these videos in the background, they won't know about it...

    • @anikmonette2140
      @anikmonette2140 3 роки тому +10

      @@DraconicDuelist Yeah, not the best of ways to enjoy videos but otherwise I wouldn't be able to get anything done... 😏

    • @beastwarsFTW
      @beastwarsFTW 3 роки тому +36

      Also making Butler black has the implications of slavery because his family has been serving the Fowl's for countless generations.

    • @lillamyy5825
      @lillamyy5825 3 роки тому +7

      @@beastwarsFTW since Russia abolished slavery only in 1861, and before it almost all Russian peasants were literal slaves (not serfs, though it's traditionally called that way, but real slaves, with families being sold separately, torture and sexual exploitation allowed by law and murder of a slave rarely punished), his family could have been slaves even with his original race. So maybe they just wanted to avoid those implications and angrying a whole nation of slave descendants? 🤨 just kidding, of course no one really gives a damn about our history 🙃

    • @penguano1313
      @penguano1313 3 роки тому +5

      DONT BE SORRY YOUR'E COMPLETELY CORRECT

  • @noabinnendijk361
    @noabinnendijk361 2 роки тому +68

    They did WHAT to Butler??
    It's a whole entire plot that the Fowl family is not allowed to know the first name of their bodyguards until they die! It gets to be a huge plot point in other books! Forget 'Dom', the whole first name isn't supposed to be used at all!

  • @grantmortensonva
    @grantmortensonva 3 роки тому +2010

    "The audience can't accept a 12-year-old villain"
    But they can accept a 12-year-old vigilante antihero who uses obscenities and proudly kills people in "Kick-Ass", TEN YEARS EARLIER???

    • @dragonbornexpress5650
      @dragonbornexpress5650 3 роки тому +83

      Logic was thrown out the window by those morons.

    • @johnfrancis8934
      @johnfrancis8934 3 роки тому +66

      Kick-Ass was amazing

    • @intheclear3492
      @intheclear3492 3 роки тому +54

      The world has gone soft in the past decade

    • @grantmortensonva
      @grantmortensonva 3 роки тому +163

      Not to mention him being a villain is apparently THE POINT OF THE BOOKS. AS IN, THE REASON PEOPLE LIKE HIM. Why alienate the fans by making something meant for non-fans?

    • @25-keys44
      @25-keys44 3 роки тому +3

      Kick-ass doesn't really look 12 in that movie. to me.

  • @odd-eyes9463
    @odd-eyes9463 3 роки тому +2494

    I'm going out to buy the entire Artemis Fowl book series so I can support the author and read something good.

    • @panq8904
      @panq8904 3 роки тому +106

      I mean i'd try the first two and see how you go, the last two or three are a little weird and not as well written.

    • @neenlancaster
      @neenlancaster 3 роки тому +70

      Please do! As the other commenter said, the first books are amazing and Artemis was certainly my favourite character as a kid and growing up so!

    • @corruptangel6793
      @corruptangel6793 3 роки тому +71

      Tbh I recomend stopping at book 3. Artemis Fowl, Artic Incident, and Eternity Code form a perfect trilogy. Sadly however, the books (in my opinion at least) are disappointing beyond those 3.

    • @gracekim25
      @gracekim25 3 роки тому +2

      I recommend it

    • @gracekim25
      @gracekim25 3 роки тому +28

      Corrupt Angel um let them make up their own mind😅

  • @FowlManor
    @FowlManor 3 роки тому +293

    I never thought I'd say this so here goes; Compared to Artemis Fowl, The Last Airbender is a faithful adaptation of it's source material... There I said it and I meant it

    • @DraconicDuelist
      @DraconicDuelist 3 роки тому +35

      Oof. That hurts in my everything.

    • @laurabauer8489
      @laurabauer8489 3 роки тому +28

      Sad but true - the gaaangs characters got slaughtered but artemis just isn't the same character on any level

    • @frazzledazzle1563
      @frazzledazzle1563 3 роки тому +28

      At least Avatar actually kept it's characters and general story, even if it butchered the execution completely.

    • @Necromancer0225
      @Necromancer0225 3 роки тому +3

      Oof

    • @benjaminfawkes385
      @benjaminfawkes385 3 роки тому +2

      Have you seen the source material?

  • @TigerTigerII
    @TigerTigerII 2 роки тому +37

    WHERE 👏 IS 👏 ANGELINE 👏 FOWL 👏
    Honestly, taking away Artemis' moral chain and making him straight-up good just takes so much away from his character. His connection to his mother making him grapple with his criminal tendencies was one of his most humanizing aspects in the books.

    • @rosykindbunny1313
      @rosykindbunny1313 9 місяців тому +5

      Ikr I actually watched the movie first and when I finally read the book I was like "Wtf why wasn't she in the movie?"

  • @confusedcabal342
    @confusedcabal342 3 роки тому +1547

    My biggest question is just; why the hell didn't they animate it? Like, they have several animation studios under their belt and a graphic novel that they could have used as inspiration. Its all there, ripe for the taking, but they did nothing with it!! Its baffling!

    • @gracekim25
      @gracekim25 3 роки тому +25

      I agree 😅

    • @Yal_Rathol
      @Yal_Rathol 3 роки тому +242

      like, with percy jackson and avatar, live action makes a degree of sense.
      artemis fowl happens in a world with literal fairies and magic, animation would have been cheaper at that point, even 2D animation.

    • @SuperCosmicMutantSquid
      @SuperCosmicMutantSquid 3 роки тому +159

      Animation takes time and money and they'd rather make 20 more fucking Frozen films than animate anything new.
      The better question is why did they leave this to DISNEY instead of someone else who may have handled it better?

    • @Shenaldrac
      @Shenaldrac 3 роки тому +132

      Same reason all the other remakes are live action. Because aNiMaTiOn Is FoR cHiLdReN! rEaL fIlMs For AduLtS aRe LiVe AcTiOn!
      just ignoring that those are all children's movies/books to begin with that can be enjoyed by the whole family...

    • @sorryifoldcomment8596
      @sorryifoldcomment8596 3 роки тому +13

      That takes effort and money though!! :((((

  •  3 роки тому +619

    They removed the protagonists mother from the story, huh?
    Damn, it looks like Disney really does have something against moms, don't they?

    • @islasullivan3463
      @islasullivan3463 3 роки тому +40

      At least now they can’t ruin the Fowl twins.

    • @NayvieNoir
      @NayvieNoir 3 роки тому +13

      Isla Sullivan
      I shudder to think. The simple-toons.

    • @nickpelloni1014
      @nickpelloni1014 3 роки тому +12

      _T h e y m u s t d i e_

    • @esyphillis101
      @esyphillis101 3 роки тому +13

      Actually it’s more apt to say they have something against Dads. Look at what they’ve done to their most valuable IPs like Star Wars.

    • @UmbreonAnimate
      @UmbreonAnimate 3 роки тому +9

      *Mars needs Moms*

  • @snap-n-shoot
    @snap-n-shoot 3 роки тому +132

    Colin Farrell must be ashamed of himself allowing himself to have to use stereotypical Irish phrases that only Americans seems to think we use.

    • @flapjack2330
      @flapjack2330 3 роки тому +11

      The only people who use those phrases are stereotypical over the top "Irish" youtubers
      Except for Jacksepticeye.
      He's cool

  • @tomofekshlomai7706
    @tomofekshlomai7706 3 роки тому +83

    Swapping the gender of commander Root ruins Holly, alot of her character arc is about being the first female officer in the lepricons

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +3

      4:42: You cant tell me this is
      Coincidence.
      Its too much/many for that.
      C'mon.

  • @sassyalbatross2933
    @sassyalbatross2933 3 роки тому +542

    When the director revealed that he didn’t read the book in every interview.

    • @Necromancer0225
      @Necromancer0225 3 роки тому +43

      That's just... wow
      Why make the movie? To make money from the longtime fans? That's terrible
      Wth

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +10

      4:42: You cant tell me this is
      Coincidence.
      Its too much/many for that.
      C'mon.

  • @greenglassblock1324
    @greenglassblock1324 3 роки тому +1885

    Holly: whitewashed
    Butler: blackwashed
    Root: genderswapped (defeating holly's character arc)
    Artemis: abandoned
    Mulch: idiot

    • @imaadshahrukh4829
      @imaadshahrukh4829 3 роки тому +227

      Angeline: Killed off like Charlie's dad in the first Wonka movie

    • @MrGeorgeFlorcus
      @MrGeorgeFlorcus 3 роки тому +209

      Hotel: Trivago

    • @AverageWagie
      @AverageWagie 3 роки тому +166

      Juliet: blackwashed and ignored
      Opal: wasted

    • @hope4937
      @hope4937 3 роки тому +20

      Black washed?

    • @greenglassblock1324
      @greenglassblock1324 3 роки тому +139

      @@hope4937 originally a white character (russian) but changed to a black character for no reason

  • @enoyreve4196
    @enoyreve4196 3 роки тому +38

    Disney had two choices:
    1. Make a movie that is actually faithful to the first book with slight changes at most, its decently successful enough for sequels, have seven more books worth of material to use to get seven more successful movies worth of profit.
    2. Make this dumpster fire trying to cram random bits of different books in at the cost of losing time to actually develop any of the plots, messing up the possible plots of any future movies they may attempt, make only one flop of a movie's worth of profit

    • @fr5161
      @fr5161 2 роки тому +5

      I really dont get why all the big studios keep making these mistakes. I mean I get that you cant adapt a book 1:1 and you might have to change or cut a few things. But just compare the insanely successful Harry Potter movie franchise which is probably as close as you can get to the source material to all these fucked up movie adaptations that failed - Eragon, Percy Jackson, Artemis Fowl, ATLA, Deathnote,.... They want to adapt these movies because they already have a huge book/anime following but then pull an 180 on characters, plot , setting, themes and are somehow surprised when these movies get lots of hate and fail at the box office. I really dont understand how this keeps happening.

  • @oricalu448
    @oricalu448 2 роки тому +42

    Swapping the gender of Root is actually a huge problem. In the books, Holly's whole thing is how she is the first female LEP officer and how she has to deal with being the "test case" and trying (and failing) to live up to the level of perfection demanded of her because of it. Making Root female just removes all of the struggles and motivations for Holly and leaves her as a terrible character.

  • @rockyhorrorfreakshow5091
    @rockyhorrorfreakshow5091 3 роки тому +641

    As someone who grew up in Ireland, where every 13 year old had to read artemis fowl, this was _God awful_

    • @marianatheschizoid5912
      @marianatheschizoid5912 3 роки тому +33

      Really? This is a must read for Irish kids?

    • @internetexplorer6304
      @internetexplorer6304 3 роки тому +77

      Is it like must read as is school book or like "dude this book is so cool you gotta read it."

    • @gracekim25
      @gracekim25 3 роки тому +1

      Oh😶

    • @blkbarbie2671
      @blkbarbie2671 3 роки тому +7

      In England we were reading the Cherub series at 13😭

    • @rojo1945
      @rojo1945 3 роки тому +28

      internet Explorer more like 'the books were everywhere so you get curious one day and read it' the author I think is Irish so the book was marketed everywhere and it became a popular Irish book.

  • @HRush-lu6fj
    @HRush-lu6fj 3 роки тому +1526

    You know would’ve made a good Artemis Fowl, the guy that plays Number Five on Umbrella Academy. May be a little bit older but I think he could’ve made it work.

    • @onyxxed6582
      @onyxxed6582 3 роки тому +229

      I AGREE. The kid RADIATES Artemis Fowl vibes

    • @viella90
      @viella90 3 роки тому +152

      Absolutely! when I saw five for the first time I said to my sister he radiated artemis fowl energy and she agreed. The only thing that would have stood in the way is that Colfer really wanted an Irish actor for Artemis

    • @carlotta4th
      @carlotta4th 3 роки тому +81

      Frankly I don't mind aging up child actors in films--it's *so* hard to find a good child actor, but finding a good early teen actor is way easier.

    • @hazelm3002
      @hazelm3002 3 роки тому +25

      I think that the actor who plays five and the actor who plays Artemis fowl are the same age so the five actor definitely could’ve played the part

    • @georgejones5019
      @georgejones5019 3 роки тому +19

      I completely agree. Thats who I was picturing and then I saw the bits here. Big fail by Disney.

  • @tokstar3235
    @tokstar3235 3 роки тому +111

    wow the dialogue for an Irish woman is "top of the morning to ya" wow so original. well done writers you're so funny😐😐....

    • @gracekim25
      @gracekim25 3 роки тому +4

      They think that’s all irish people say😅

    • @justaperson8381
      @justaperson8381 3 роки тому +16

      "Top of the morning to ya my name is jacksepticeye-"

    • @cartooncritique6625
      @cartooncritique6625 2 роки тому +8

      The writers must be Jacksepticeye fans. XD

  • @yomommasofatthanoshadtosna3479
    @yomommasofatthanoshadtosna3479 3 роки тому +79

    "This might well be the worst adaptation since Avatar the last airbender"
    Me: **has flashbacks of Percy Jackson movie adaptations and cries**
    Also, this is what happens when you let Lockhart direct a movie...

    • @nekotrash6664
      @nekotrash6664 2 роки тому +7

      At least percy jackson is a watchable film, avatar like this film isnt even so bad its good. Percy jackson is like the twilight films, a guilty pleasure.

    • @gremlyn1658
      @gremlyn1658 2 роки тому +5

      lmaooo, he got amnesia over what the book was like. Quite appropriate.

    • @lbanana322
      @lbanana322 2 роки тому +2

      At least Percy Jackson has a vague resemblance to the book

  • @manulove1058
    @manulove1058 3 роки тому +805

    The only positive thing that came from this movie, is that now everyone is curious about what was the original story is so the books Will be more recognized

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 3 роки тому +44

      Honestly any bad movie based on a book will have people buying the source material.

    • @dimataha7175
      @dimataha7175 3 роки тому +4

      @@daniboy4153 I had the opposite though😅..........no I'm not saying the books are bad, no😓.........I just got excited by the movie because of the books.😄

    • @ericthered2963
      @ericthered2963 3 роки тому +11

      But are the books worth buying?
      I'm interested but a bit concerned.
      By a movie I didn't even watch...

    • @NorokVokun
      @NorokVokun 3 роки тому +33

      @@ericthered2963 The books are so worth it. what i'd reccomend is rent the first one for a weekend and just read it with an open mind... that's cheaper (hopefully) than buying outright. I red them as a kid and love them to this very day (just got the audiobook of the first two on audible so i can enjoy them where i can't really sit down and open up a book xD)

    • @ericthered2963
      @ericthered2963 3 роки тому +6

      @@NorokVokun I downloaded a reading sample of the first Book.
      Tomorrow I will try it out. :D

  • @KarlAndArma4ever
    @KarlAndArma4ever 3 роки тому +447

    "The author approved of the script."
    How much do you wanna bet he only approved of an early script and not the final script (assuming it was ever completely finished before/during film production)?

    • @sedy5297
      @sedy5297 3 роки тому +41

      Wouldn't be weird for it to be such a movie where they change parts of the script everyday seeing how much of a mess it is and it even contradicts itself. It's like no one ever proofread that

    • @DraconicDuelist
      @DraconicDuelist 3 роки тому +9

      @Purple Confidential You mean like they did with Mark Hamill?

    • @iprobablyforgotsomething
      @iprobablyforgotsomething 3 роки тому +29

      That's a possibility I never thought of, approving one script that gets swapped later. I should have, though. I mean, Evangeline Lily asked for no love-triangle in script, and apparently the script had no love-triangle for main filming. The script for *reshoots* scenes, on the other hand...

    • @Kai-tn4yx
      @Kai-tn4yx 3 роки тому +5

      He's probably proud that his works made it to screen, any author would be. I can't fault him for that.

    • @loturzelrestaurant
      @loturzelrestaurant 2 роки тому +1

      Help the plattform here:
      Why not report-button-smash some racists, flat-earther and p0rn on UA-cam?
      At least that helps us get a bit better of a plattform. A bit healthier.

  • @kiss2cry
    @kiss2cry 3 роки тому +62

    Hollys escape from her cell is one of the funniest moments in the book. the book is hilarious and fun and i dont understand why they changed it when the book provided comedy gold.

  • @tyletrose5249
    @tyletrose5249 3 роки тому +52

    "Mistakes make you stronger"
    Everyone who worked on "Artemis Fowl": they got legs for arms.

  • @aimeewilson4505
    @aimeewilson4505 3 роки тому +472

    I’m sick of Disney wanting to have their cake and eat it too. They are starting a trend of having emotional death scenes in their movies only to bring back the character a scene or two later. It’s emotional manipulation and cheap movie device.

    • @waltercomunello121
      @waltercomunello121 3 роки тому +21

      That reminded me of Deadpool's death scene in Deadpool 2. I usually skip that part because it's utterly annoying.

    • @dragongirl7978
      @dragongirl7978 3 роки тому +49

      Yeah... I recently rewatched Frozen 2 and actually timed it. The time between Anna trying to process Elsa's apparent death and try to figure out what to do next and finding out that Elsa is alive is FIVE MINUTES.

    • @AlmightyRager95
      @AlmightyRager95 3 роки тому +5

      It's like Family Guy when Brian was killed off but- OH WAIT ACTUALLY NO he wasn't, 'cause we brought him back without consequence.

    • @Shenaldrac
      @Shenaldrac 3 роки тому +7

      Gravity Falls did it too. Either kill the character or don't.

    • @gracekim25
      @gracekim25 3 роки тому +1

      Shenaldrac huh?

  • @caradanellemcclintock8178
    @caradanellemcclintock8178 3 роки тому +634

    I imagined Artemis more like 5 from Umbrella Academy they need to find that kid and get him to do this role

    • @dragonbornexpress5650
      @dragonbornexpress5650 3 роки тому +62

      I don't remember the actor's name, but holy shit, he did a good job as Five.

    • @princewellidk7790
      @princewellidk7790 3 роки тому +21

      That's the guy from Nicky Ricky Dicky and Dawn

    • @junikigai
      @junikigai 3 роки тому +36

      @@dragonbornexpress5650 His name is Aidan Gallagher and yeah he's great in TUA !

    • @junikigai
      @junikigai 3 роки тому +53

      I think the reason why I instantly loved Five is prob because I had a huge crush on Artemis Fowl as a kid lmao.
      Aidan Gallagher would nail Artemis' role but he's turning 17 next month so unless they age up Artemis, which would ruin a bit of his charm because him being an evil mastermind at 12yo was what drew the audience, it seems impossible.
      Disney should have done that movie a few years back & hired Aidan when he was still on that nickolodeon show. But no matter how good the actor, you can't save a movie so badly written ;/

    • @8BitRetroGhost
      @8BitRetroGhost 3 роки тому +4

      My thoughts exactly. He'd be awesome.

  • @olivercrowley9367
    @olivercrowley9367 3 роки тому +63

    “Worst adaptation since the last air bender”
    Percy Jackson has entered the chat

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +3

      Your comment is right for you, buddy:
      Its amazing.
      You think the Last Airbender
      failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right?
      But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021:
      -Artemis Fowl, duh.
      -Mulan 2020.
      -Winx Club Life Action.
      If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun
      with the Reviews on them, cause many of them
      are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end!
      All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level.
      aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level',
      despite reasonable thinking suggesting
      this cant just happen again and again and again.
      But yet, it happened again. Movies so laughably
      bad they have Plot Holes so massive as if
      someone said they need to find 5 Big Magic-Stones
      and then also 3 Small Stones and combine them all,
      so they have 6 Stones overall - and after this is
      said no one ever cares about M-Stones ever again!!!
      And thats saying it nicely!!
      It happened 3 times alone those last years.
      All this tells us that its not just
      a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare',
      but literally a Trend that happens.

    • @blazekyn813
      @blazekyn813 Рік тому +1

      @@slevinchannel7589 .... their was a winx club live action?

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 Рік тому +1

      @@blazekyn813 !!

  • @timmyzimmy2459
    @timmyzimmy2459 3 роки тому +88

    i feel like aidan gallagher would’ve made a good artemis fowl

    • @NorokVokun
      @NorokVokun 3 роки тому +4

      a tad too old for the first book and maaaaybe the second (can't remember how old artemis was in the second) but yeah... looks wise Aidan is rather spot on. a bit of (GOOD) CGI deageing or simple practical effect type of mask work to make him still look the part while fitting the younger age the character has and you'd have a damn spot on Artemis.

    • @xclx9056
      @xclx9056 3 роки тому +4

      YES FIVE OMG

    • @tiaaaron3278
      @tiaaaron3278 3 роки тому +3

      That boy Jacob from the Room movie might be good for Artemis. He's the right age, I think.

    • @xclx9056
      @xclx9056 3 роки тому +1

      @@tiaaaron3278 NOOOOOO HE LOOL BAAADDD

  • @ArrowOdenn
    @ArrowOdenn 3 роки тому +901

    Eoin is pronounced "Owen" :) I read the first three books when they were published and then studied one at university as part of a course on children's literature. From what I gather quite a lot of details from the book(s) but didn't put them together properly and added a needless McGuffin and Colin Farrell, for some reason. Changing Root's gender negates the sexism that Holly went through in the books... I haven't watched the film. I don't think I want to.

    • @panq8904
      @panq8904 3 роки тому +94

      As someone who sat through with it in the background while I played Animal Crossing, definitely don't, watering flowers and fishing were the only things keeping me sane...

    • @CynicalReviews
      @CynicalReviews  3 роки тому +221

      I remembered the sexism part in the book as I was about to render the video, but I thought it was too late to record and edit an extra bit, which is why I added the note underneath.

    • @patrickmascarenhas4414
      @patrickmascarenhas4414 3 роки тому +15

      @@CynicalReviews Artemis Fowl the movie that Josh Gad and Judi Dench tried their best to be cast as Batman in a Batman movie. Nuff Said.

    • @gracekim25
      @gracekim25 3 роки тому +2

      I learnt this from X-Factor, I admit

    • @LittleMissLounge
      @LittleMissLounge 3 роки тому +7

      Stephen Mitchell I get what you're saying, but I think a female character with serious internalized misogyny could also fulfill that role just fine.

  • @catendway4754
    @catendway4754 3 роки тому +711

    Movies like this and A Wrinkle in Time all feel the same, I’m surprised Disney didn’t try and make _this_ into a shared universe

    • @asher8754
      @asher8754 3 роки тому +55

      Don’t give them ideas

    • @faiselbutt2944
      @faiselbutt2944 3 роки тому +35

      That would be super easy. Barely an inconvenience

    • @JayTechZM
      @JayTechZM 3 роки тому +1

      @@faiselbutt2944 oh really ?

    • @sammichqween
      @sammichqween 3 роки тому +1

      You mean you didn't already do this in your own mind with the original materials?!?!??!!?!

    • @willowx2132
      @willowx2132 3 роки тому +1

      I can’t wait for the bad movie universe avengers

  • @nyotamwuaji6484
    @nyotamwuaji6484 Рік тому +13

    Actually making root a woman did affect the story negatively. Root was seen sort of as a father figure toward holly and was only tough on her because she was the only FEMALE officer to make it as far as she had.
    This is expressly explained in the books

  • @adamsalvinsky2327
    @adamsalvinsky2327 3 роки тому +40

    Is it just me or Number 5 from Umbrella Academy is doing like bilion times better job at personyfying Artemis Fowl? :D

    • @Ro-qz3vu
      @Ro-qz3vu Рік тому

      Late to the party but heck yes! I love Five, he nails the snarky genius.

  • @discworldandknownspace4491
    @discworldandknownspace4491 3 роки тому +408

    Such a prodigy was Artemis fowl, that he made a box office failure at eleven.

    • @prajwaljayaraj5887
      @prajwaljayaraj5887 3 роки тому +4

      A fellow human of culture eh?

    • @moondestroyer1988
      @moondestroyer1988 3 роки тому +2

      Disney doesn't care as long as they make money

    • @sparky6743
      @sparky6743 3 роки тому +4

      Not only that, he made a box office failure on a STREAMING SERVICE. It takes a lot of balls to do that

  • @Avarn388
    @Avarn388 3 роки тому +671

    This movie is an insult to the book, the franchise and just making a movie. And I thought Percy Jackson’s adaptation was bad.

    • @hayreddinbarbarossa661
      @hayreddinbarbarossa661 3 роки тому +11

      May I present The Hobbit, sir?

    • @laundrybasketgamers
      @laundrybasketgamers 3 роки тому +13

      May I present The Golden Compass, sir?

    • @laundrybasketgamers
      @laundrybasketgamers 3 роки тому +26

      jake elwood the hobbit could’ve been a lot worse

    • @hayreddinbarbarossa661
      @hayreddinbarbarossa661 3 роки тому +6

      @@laundrybasketgamers well i suppose the Peter Jackson could have also destroyed the 2 &1/2 scenes he got right, but as my all time favourite book that doesn't bare thinking about.

    • @jarrodedson5441
      @jarrodedson5441 3 роки тому +3

      @@hayreddinbarbarossa661 the Hobbit is great

  • @emeraldemperor2601
    @emeraldemperor2601 Рік тому +6

    A massive part of holly's character is being the only woman LEPrecon. One simple casting decision wipes that arc from existence.

  • @braideddragon
    @braideddragon 3 роки тому +12

    Repeat after me:
    Percy Jackson movies don't exist.
    Artemis Fowl movie doesn't exist.
    Avatar movie doesn't exist.
    Death Note movie doesn't exist.
    *THEY. DON'T. EXIST.*
    I will now proceed to go cover my poor books eyes.

  • @catendway4754
    @catendway4754 3 роки тому +645

    The more bad book-to-movie adaptations Disney makes the more terrified I become of their take on Percy Jackson
    I can’t wait to get my cringy childhood book phase desecrated... again

    • @mimicmey
      @mimicmey 3 роки тому +103

      At least Uncle Rick is the one writing the script this time. There might be hope...

    • @gerryjweathersthethird5284
      @gerryjweathersthethird5284 3 роки тому +30

      I have high hopes for this, I’ve read all of Rick’s books.

    • @catendway4754
      @catendway4754 3 роки тому +23

      Mimic Mey eh, I’m cautiously optimistic, I’ve checked out of Disney a long time ago and I haven’t read the books in a long ass time
      So we’ll see when the time comes

    • @Shenaldrac
      @Shenaldrac 3 роки тому +31

      Hey, liking Young Adult novels isn't cringy in and of itself. It only is if you're reading bad ones. The Percy Jackson series is great.

    • @catendway4754
      @catendway4754 3 роки тому +18

      Shenaldrac Oh no, the books weren’t cringy, *I was*

  • @Cheetahgirl_Studios
    @Cheetahgirl_Studios 3 роки тому +410

    I think someone placed a curse on Judy Dench. She’s damned to always feature in uncanny and horrible films. First CATS, now this.

    • @panq8904
      @panq8904 3 роки тому +47

      Honestly Cats was better than this, at least the music, bad CGI and crazy plot gave it a so-bad-its-good feel. This was just boring as hell.

    • @pieceofsunshine1
      @pieceofsunshine1 3 роки тому +13

      There was drama with her manager and how they purposely chose bad movies....

    • @marianatheschizoid5912
      @marianatheschizoid5912 3 роки тому +11

      At least Cats was enjoyable in a WTF sense

    • @misterzygarde6431
      @misterzygarde6431 3 роки тому +4

      She was also in Dougal

    • @StudlyFudd13
      @StudlyFudd13 3 роки тому +20

      Honestly I think she's at an age where she doesn't give a fuck if the movie is trash or not. She is just having fun regardless of the shit quality. Which is respectable in her own way?

  • @prabhatjaiswal6857
    @prabhatjaiswal6857 3 роки тому +18

    "Everything is better in the books. You'll be safe." loved that.

  • @jbsgroup96
    @jbsgroup96 2 роки тому +4

    I remember seeing one interview with Colfer shortly after the movie came out where he said he was very pleased with how it came out, but while saying that looked like someone ripped his heart out and he was being forced to compliment the person who did it.
    I highly doubt he was happy about any of the changes. Nobody can watch their biggest achievement be butchered that badly right in front of them and be happy. But as is so common in these industries, any objection he made was likely shot down by higher ups, and then he was forced to say he was happy with it in interviews.

  • @DragonController
    @DragonController 3 роки тому +462

    The issue with changing the gender of Commander Root was there was a subplot about the underlying sexism of the LEP and Holly Short had to work extra hard to become the first female member of the organization. This is looked at in depth in the short story "LEPrecon" in The Artemis Fowl Files.

    • @calemr
      @calemr 3 роки тому +107

      I loved how it revealed that Root wasn't super harsh just because Holly's female, but because he Really wants to make sure she succeeds, and can't be used by anyone else to suggest women can't be LEPrecon.
      You're led to think he's kinda sexist towards her, then find out he threatened to quit if his superiors didn't give her the job.

    • @skyereave9454
      @skyereave9454 3 роки тому +47

      I mean seriously, it's a huge part of her character motivation in regards to the LEP

    • @krankarvolund7771
      @krankarvolund7771 3 роки тому +82

      In a way it's a perfect example of good feminism versus bad feminism in fiction XD
      Good feminism, you show what is problematic, and how you heroin can fight it.
      Bad feminism, just gender swap a character without thinking about it ^^

    • @addex1236
      @addex1236 3 роки тому +31

      @@krankarvolund7771 pretty much what you said. Its funny in attempt to be more "woke" they made tbe story less "woke"

    • @krankarvolund7771
      @krankarvolund7771 3 роки тому +11

      @@addex1236 hat's a mark of either being totally blind to the question or being totally stupid XD

  • @tardisgirl1237
    @tardisgirl1237 3 роки тому +188

    The reason he could suddenly read Gnomish is because they deleted a scene of him decoding the book and finally figuring out what it meant. That's like cutting out the scene where Luke Skywalker gets his lightsaber, you kind of need that in your movie!!!!

  • @ethanshupe4403
    @ethanshupe4403 3 роки тому +9

    Of all the changes to not have a problem with, I'm really surprised you went with the gender swap on commander root. It changes his whole character, but more importantly, obliterates holly's character arc. Since she's the first female root operator she has a tremendous amount of pressure to succeed, which informs all of her actions and is most of the reason she gets captured by artemis. That change was really egregious in my opinion.

  • @unwarranteddesign806
    @unwarranteddesign806 3 роки тому +10

    As for Dench's casting, it took away from Holly's importance as she was the first and only female captain of LEPrecon. So the writers took that accomplishment away from her, thereby robbing the movie of a potentially interesting storyline about how she was paving the way for female fairy equality...

  • @justsomeguy2825
    @justsomeguy2825 3 роки тому +588

    The part where Artimis magically becomes forever friends with the fairy group is probably the most insulting thing you can throw at a fan.
    Because who cares about Holly initially hating Artimis because he kidnapped her, yet saving him from a Troll because she's a good person.
    Or the fact that the friendship developed over several books after adversaries, through being forced together to acheive similar goals, gain respect for one another, and develop and grow as characters.
    If you're Disney, you can just ship a group together for no reason.

    • @demaistremarcaurele4247
      @demaistremarcaurele4247 3 роки тому +16

      I know it took us 4 books before they could even be called friends as a result of cooperation, saving each other, understanding the other person and forgiveness.
      You cant just cram that in 1 movie

    • @justsomeguy2825
      @justsomeguy2825 3 роки тому +14

      @@demaistremarcaurele4247 The movie could have ended the way it did in the book, with Holly Despising artimis but having a Begrudged respect for him, because he sacrificed half of the bounty to save his mother. Which makes it more insulting that they killed her off.
      The movie took the one redeemable trait to Artimis' character (his love for his mother), and turned it into the motivation for his only movie character flaw(his grief over his mother making him a bit of a dick)

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому

      4:42: You cant tell me this is Coincidence...

    • @NatalieE500
      @NatalieE500 Рік тому +1

      @@demaistremarcaurele4247 And that arc in the book from enemies to friends was powerful and felt earned!

  • @j.dpost-mortem9115
    @j.dpost-mortem9115 3 роки тому +333

    Also speaking of 12 year old villains, the director worked on Harry Potter! Ever heard of Draco Malfoy?

    • @carlotta4th
      @carlotta4th 3 роки тому +47

      Draco had great lines and a fantastic actor, though. This Artemis had atrocious lines and... well I can't tell if he's acting bad or not through the awful lines. But he definitely doesn't feel like Artemis.

    • @themimsy
      @themimsy 3 роки тому +31

      he wasn't a villain though. he was just a bully who tried to be evil to live up to his family's standards, but utterly failed in the end.

    • @tangyhyperspace2217
      @tangyhyperspace2217 3 роки тому +18

      Yea draco was more of an anti hero/rival

    • @tiaaaron3278
      @tiaaaron3278 3 роки тому +9

      @@themimsy He was also a supporting character. Disney can't have an antihero as the protagonist.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 3 роки тому +1

      Its amazing.
      You think the Last Airbender
      failed so hard it 'could never happen again', right?
      But we have THREE of this 'Level' in 2020/2021:
      -Artemis Fowl, duh.
      -Mulan 2020.
      -Winx Club Life Action.
      If you didnt knew all 3... youre welcome. Have fun
      with the Reviews on them, cause many of them
      are rather fun. But before that: Read my comment to the end!
      All 3 are just on the 'Not just bad'-Level.
      aka 'the Dragonball Evolution Level',
      despite reasonable thinking suggesting
      this cant just happen again and again and again.
      It happened 3 times alone those last years.
      All this tells us that its not just
      a joke when people say 'Quality gets more rare',
      but literal a Trend that happens.

  • @taylorwiseman8078
    @taylorwiseman8078 3 роки тому +12

    5:45 The incredibly ironic part is that there are multiple 12-year-old, or at least child, villains in Harry Potter. Draco, Dudley, VOLDEMORT if you count the flashbacks, James, Goyle, etc. I'd very much like to think Kenneth Branagh is smarter than that, so I'm gonna go with that's not coming straight from him.
    And the Judi Dench thing doesn't even make sense. The LEP are more like regular police, it's the society itself that's secret. And "an homage to her being M"...how? What part of this has any part of any James Bond film? I think Judi Dench is in the movie because Kenneth Branagh is the director.

  • @emilyrln
    @emilyrln 3 роки тому +23

    "I knew that's just pocket change to Disney, but gosh d'arvit!"
    Thank you 😂

  • @Larry
    @Larry 3 роки тому +481

    I've never read the books, but watched the film as it looked interesting, but to me it felt like the movie ended during the second act, the big fairy fight felt like the mid-film battle.

    • @mrsone2000
      @mrsone2000 3 роки тому +14

      But hello, you!

    • @chrishansen1842
      @chrishansen1842 3 роки тому +8

      @@mrsone2000 that just. Does not feel right at all. The pause. The placement of that line. Seriously why

    • @aceofquarantine7355
      @aceofquarantine7355 3 роки тому +21

      Please go read the books they are so much more entertaining and enjoyable

    • @nicconasi
      @nicconasi 3 роки тому +5

      Dude I've read the book and I don't finished the film😂

    • @snap-n-shoot
      @snap-n-shoot 3 роки тому +13

      The movie wont be a spoiler to the books as it has no semblance. Read the books, you will enjoy them.

  • @Cheetahgirl_Studios
    @Cheetahgirl_Studios 3 роки тому +195

    I’d also like to add as an Irish person that we do not claim responsibility for this car crash of a film and sincerely apologise to all other nations for this atrocity.

    • @jasonbowman9521
      @jasonbowman9521 3 роки тому +29

      And as a U.S.A. citizen, sorry you had to endure bad Irish accents and " Top o' the Morning." sorry. lol. May I have some Lucky Charms please?

    • @panq8904
      @panq8904 3 роки тому +20

      @@jasonbowman9521 Lmao, we've only recently started selling Lucky Charms in Ireland, under the American sweets section...

    • @panq8904
      @panq8904 3 роки тому +8

      I'll 2nd that apology, from the North especially, can't believe Ken Bran fucked it up for us this badly.

    • @debzykvids
      @debzykvids 3 роки тому +8

      Right with you here. Hoping we get better examples of Celtic Irish lore in the future. At least Cartoon Saloon's made a start with their movies.

    • @Cheetahgirl_Studios
      @Cheetahgirl_Studios 3 роки тому +1

      jason bowman Certainly. **pours him a bowl** Here you are.
      🥣

  • @andysun73
    @andysun73 3 роки тому +5

    His redemption was such a big part of the book leaving his mother out was a huge mistake. This movie was a huge mistake.

  • @junikigai
    @junikigai 3 роки тому +35

    I remember being 10yo and reading Artemis Fowl at school, dreaming that one day they'd make it into a movie... 22yo me is now very disappointed in life lol
    Anyways my dream casting for Artemis, had they filmed the movie a few years ago, would be :
    Aidan Gallagher (Five on Umbrella Academy + bonus point for having Irish origins)
    David Mazouz (Bruce Wayne on the Gotham TV show)
    Both match the general look of the Artemis in my mind & are very talented young actors who have shown they can pull off complex child characters with a dark side.
    Good luck to Ferdia Shaw for the future tho, he didn't do that bad and he has plenty of time to improve !

  • @imaadshahrukh4829
    @imaadshahrukh4829 3 роки тому +235

    Artemis Fowl joins Eragon, The Golden Compass, The Seeker: The Dark is Rising, Inkheart, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, Mortal Engines, and A Wrinkle in Time among book-based fantasy movies that failed with first installment.

    • @dragonbornexpress5650
      @dragonbornexpress5650 3 роки тому +12

      The Eragon movie is a complete shitshow. It hurts as I personally love the books, all four of them. No idea when the author is going to get back to the world of that series, (spelling it would be a nightmare) but hopefully he does good.

    • @imaadshahrukh4829
      @imaadshahrukh4829 3 роки тому +12

      @@dragonbornexpress5650 The movie butchered the book by turning it into a generic medieval fantasy film. The Seeker did the same by ditching the source material by creating a Harry Potter rip-off.

    • @anthonykeller1957
      @anthonykeller1957 3 роки тому +1

      How the hell did Lord of the Rings do it??!!

    • @softcrab3361
      @softcrab3361 3 роки тому +2

      How was the giver though?

    • @milicadiy
      @milicadiy 3 роки тому +1

      @Imaad Shahrukh Thank you for making me add The Dark Is Rising series to my TBR. All the other series were already there (except Eragon and TMI, which I left out on purpose).

  • @jbennett5634
    @jbennett5634 3 роки тому +760

    "This might be the worst adaptation since Avatar: The Last Airbender" and with that i give a like to the video

    • @kyotheman69
      @kyotheman69 3 роки тому +3

      yeah no, avatar was bad, but not as bad as Percy Jackson, Jem, John Carter, and so on.

    • @druidt8949
      @druidt8949 3 роки тому

      @@kyotheman69 I mean, "let's keep the people whose powers are control over Earth in a place entirely made of Earth". All of those movies are awful and stupid, but Avatar had multiple plot points that didn't work even if it wasn't connected to any source material, that's something DB:E can barely claim

  • @Anon12762
    @Anon12762 3 роки тому +19

    Y’all remember when The name Disney meant a good movie? Those were the days T^T

    • @cgt3704
      @cgt3704 2 роки тому +4

      I do. Now they are the most perfect embodiment of greed. If they dare to destroy the Mickey Clubhouse, the thing i grew up in kindergarden days, i will sue them.

    • @johnathanbruce8227
      @johnathanbruce8227 Рік тому

      @@cgt3704 Disney: Hmm, you know what, let's do that and more. Instead of shutting it down we'll have the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse be live-action and have it be filled with the usual crap we have now. Benny, begin production at once.
      Benny: (Worried) Y-Y-Yes sir.
      Disney: Ahhh, it feels so good to be greedy.

  • @michael.471
    @michael.471 3 роки тому +6

    Dench’s role also doesn’t make sense, the faerie subplot is meant to deal with faerie sexism, with Holly being the first female officer.

  • @HardwareHorizon
    @HardwareHorizon 3 роки тому +172

    Why do directors assume the greatest source material is garbage and they have to change it!?! Prevalent problem with video game adaptations to movies as well.

    • @iprobablyforgotsomething
      @iprobablyforgotsomething 3 роки тому +14

      Right?! Like, oh this book is so popular and financially successful -- better not make the film based on it resemble it in the least!

    • @josephstalin7801
      @josephstalin7801 3 роки тому +3

      They basically pulled a luke Skywalker on this book series in my opinion

    • @GumshoeClassic
      @GumshoeClassic 3 роки тому +8

      Exactly. Do they seriously think that they have to change things simply because part of the audience didn't know the source material, as if that meant that they didn't like it? And it boggles my mind how these directors apparently never thought that maybe people are going into the movie because they liked what it's based on....
      *Cries in Monster Hunter movie*

    • @wyntertheicewyvern6226
      @wyntertheicewyvern6226 3 роки тому +6

      It's because they think they're being 'artistic' or 'creative'.
      Example: Tell It To The Bees was a book about a woman who moves to a small town with her son to get away from her bad marriage with her husband. She falls in love with a woman who is a doctor and bee keeper. At the end of the book, the two move to Paris and live happily together. In the movie adaptation, only the mother and son go. The bee keeper promises to come later, but never does. The director said she wanted to be more artistic and do a bittersweet ending. The author of the book was very unhappy with the change. She said it's been common in media to ruin positive LGBTQ+ relationships, and that the bittersweet ending should have been left for 'typical straight loves stories'.

    • @cartooncritique6625
      @cartooncritique6625 2 роки тому +1

      Brainless corporate executives and arrogant film directors that's why.

  • @jentoons5732
    @jentoons5732 3 роки тому +226

    “Do a good job. You don’t have to worry about the money; it will take care of itself. Just do your best work - then try to trump it.”
    “I don’t make pictures just to make money. I make money to make more pictures.”
    “Money doesn’t excite me, my ideas excite me.”
    *”I do not like to repeat successes, I like to go on to other things.”*
    These are all quotes by Walt Disney himself. This sort of monopoly cash-grab future is NOT what he would’ve wanted.

    • @alexandresobreiramartins9461
      @alexandresobreiramartins9461 3 роки тому +30

      After Walt died, the company just went slowly down the drain.

    • @Annayasha
      @Annayasha 3 роки тому +14

      Jesus, everything he said it's exactly the opposite of the Disney of today. wtf happened?

    • @natesmodelsdoodles5403
      @natesmodelsdoodles5403 3 роки тому +27

      @@Annayasha Business happened. When Walt Disney started out, he understood that money was a means to an end, and that that end involved dreamers and artists creating masterpieces, which would bring in more money, which in turn would allow those dreamers and artists to create bigger and bolder masterpieces. The Disney of today is run by business people, without any dreamers or artists holding the reins.

    • @fawnieee
      @fawnieee 3 роки тому +4

      He was also massively anti-Semitic and quite the bigot.

    • @jentoons5732
      @jentoons5732 3 роки тому +21

      Richella River yes but that’s not the point of my comment. I know disney isn’t the best person, but when it comes to animation and filmmaking he’s clearly passionate.

  • @Garoompahfah
    @Garoompahfah 3 роки тому +6

    So many problems, you'd need a video longer than the movie to get through them all.
    The one that really broke my heart was when 'Dom' responded to his death/resurrection with "I didn't cry, did I?" because the movie just really needed a dose of toxic masculinity to round it out, didn't it?
    And then they double down when they cast Summon: Dad and his... best friend/secret fairy theft buddy (??) is returned and he insists he's not going to cry about that either.

  • @auulauul9328
    @auulauul9328 3 роки тому +8

    It's not Artemis Fowl, it's just foul.

  • @TransparentlyDuplicitous
    @TransparentlyDuplicitous 3 роки тому +233

    I swear Eoin Colfer had a metaphorical gun to his head when he said that he approved of the changes in this adaptation. That's basically what a contract with Disney and its lawyers is.

    • @aleisterlavey9716
      @aleisterlavey9716 3 роки тому +8

      I think, it is more like Balls in a Vice.

    • @morriskat171
      @morriskat171 3 роки тому +16

      Disney had him in the Femur Breaker

    • @CheekyTop1
      @CheekyTop1 3 роки тому +8

      they paid him

    • @waltercomunello121
      @waltercomunello121 3 роки тому +3

      yeah. bad thing is, he having being involved in such a trainwreck could have shook the trust his readers had in him.

    • @ericthered2963
      @ericthered2963 3 роки тому

      You are only right if that metaphorical gun is made out of Dollar Bills.

  • @qzoid3060
    @qzoid3060 3 роки тому +399

    “One word: Disney.”

  • @andreydoronin6995
    @andreydoronin6995 3 роки тому +4

    6:31
    Kinda ironic, since Domovoi is a household spirit in Slavic Paganism and Dom in Russian (and in many other Slavic languages too) means house/home.

  • @Waywind420
    @Waywind420 2 роки тому +11

    Mulch dislocating his jaw and shooting dirt out his rear end is kind of in the books, and very difficult to adapt into a childrens movie.
    I think they did a pretty decent job with the depiction tbh of mulch's burrowing, and whiskers.

  • @chrispysaid
    @chrispysaid 3 роки тому +328

    Judy Dench's agent legitimately hates her. It's an actual thing. She's been cast in two absolute flops in a row. Look into it, it's a real problem.

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 3 роки тому +29

      Poor Judy

    • @sawspitfire422
      @sawspitfire422 3 роки тому +49

      Remind me why she can't just fire her agent?

    • @AverageWagie
      @AverageWagie 3 роки тому +53

      She should just retire already. She's almost blind by glaucoma and I doubt she needs the money

    • @RocketeerRaccoon
      @RocketeerRaccoon 3 роки тому +17

      I don't forgive her, in Goldeneye she called Bond "a sexist, misogynist dinosaur", and this was way back in the 90s before Wokeness became a thing...

    • @chrispysaid
      @chrispysaid 3 роки тому +103

      @@RocketeerRaccoon He IS a sexist, mysogynist dinosaur

  • @daraflaherty245
    @daraflaherty245 3 роки тому +689

    Disney: so, have you read the book?
    Director: oh yeah, one of the interns gave me the names.
    Disney: but, have you read the book...?
    Director: what book?
    Disney: *the one you're making a movie on*
    Director: I didn't know it was a book. I'll get my intern to read it.
    *later*
    Director: so it's kinda like Harry Potter in Ireland, yeah?
    Disney: *sigh* here's 125 million. Make it work.

    • @dimataha7175
      @dimataha7175 3 роки тому +15

      Yeah....totally like harry
      Except it is a 2001 world, not a 1900's world like harry's.(for Director)->Duh!

    • @dimataha7175
      @dimataha7175 3 роки тому +4

      (Sign here 125 million)->😑😑
      Im speechless

    • @Sigismund697
      @Sigismund697 3 роки тому +19

      That's dump, if anything Disney would tell him to just make Harry Potter in Ireland

    • @iprobablyforgotsomething
      @iprobablyforgotsomething 3 роки тому +14

      Be careful, Dara; Disney will want to know how you got your hands on recordings of actual Disney-reps conversation... >.>

    • @cassandrabrooks5185
      @cassandrabrooks5185 3 роки тому

      LOL!!

  • @DraconicDuelist
    @DraconicDuelist 3 роки тому +6

    6:11 Anyone else think that suit looks terribly tailored? Also, why is he wearing hoodies in so many scenes? Fowl's mother has to practically blackmail him into wearing a t-shirt in later books. He _hates_ non-formal attire.

    • @cassandrabrooks5185
      @cassandrabrooks5185 3 роки тому +1

      ikr! He was about to passed out about wearing casual clothing. LOL!!!

  • @iCharlee
    @iCharlee 3 роки тому +7

    0:10 Don’t forget Percy Jackson. That HAS to be one of the worst book to film adaptations out there by far

  • @The_amazing_dust
    @The_amazing_dust 3 роки тому +191

    This Artemis looks like he was supposed to be a young Peter Parker and ended up in the wrong movie

    • @professionalpainthuffer
      @professionalpainthuffer 3 роки тому +34

      This artemis looks like the kid I clumsily curbstomped in seventh grade when he called me a dyke. I know canonically Artemis is a wimpy little beanstalk, but isn't he like, supposed to be an unnerving, spooky little dude who puts adults on edge? This child does nothing for me except elicit a faint feeling of heartburn

    • @Marian-zw2ff
      @Marian-zw2ff 3 роки тому +3

      hahahaha this!

    • @TheAJmoviemaker
      @TheAJmoviemaker 3 роки тому +4

      @@professionalpainthuffer Yeah, for real. I read the graphic novel and one of the books, and Artemis was always portrayed as being very cold and kinda unnerving to people. This actor looks like they could have been cast to play Greg Heffley in Diary of a Wimpy Kid

    • @night-seeker666
      @night-seeker666 3 роки тому +2

      @@TheAJmoviemaker Also, Artemis had been described to have looked at his computer for so long that he went pale. If that's pale, then I'm Indian.

    • @cassandrabrooks5185
      @cassandrabrooks5185 3 роки тому

      @@professionalpainthuffer Yeah it was both humans and fairies was terrify of him :)

  • @annabanana7659
    @annabanana7659 3 роки тому +60

    Movie Artemis: Your dad died? That's so sad! Omg you're my new bestie!
    Book Artemis: Your dad's dead? Let me play a sad song for you with the world's smallest violin (while drafting a ransom note).

  • @ryanpratt6993
    @ryanpratt6993 2 роки тому +3

    Eoin is pronounced like 'Owen' by the way. And can confirm, despite never having seen the film, that the books are ALOT better

  • @frinklesthepenguin4952
    @frinklesthepenguin4952 3 роки тому +10

    MI6: so, we want to build a high security interigation room. Let's put a giant, flimsy window at the top!

  • @Jackylification
    @Jackylification 3 роки тому +146

    I’m so glad I didn’t watch this. He lets Holly out, when, in the book she escapes by her damn self?
    I hate when directors decide children or their audience in general is too stupid to get something when they already did. We read the books, todays kids aren’t stupider. They’d get it.

    • @StudlyFudd13
      @StudlyFudd13 3 роки тому +19

      You're right, kids aren't dumb these days...the directors are getting dumber though.

    • @1Thunderfire
      @1Thunderfire 3 роки тому +11

      Honestly, it makes me sad. A lot of young adult and children's authors treat their audience with great respect, exploring mature ideas and trusting their young readers to be capable of intelligent thought. Same with cartoons like Avatar. And well-written media for children can often be enjoyed by adults too. Unfortunately, you then get directors who decide that kids are thick and need talking down which makes other people also decide that kids are thick or soft and an example of today's degeneracy or something.

    • @bobbymarr1297
      @bobbymarr1297 3 роки тому

      I would disagree that kids are dumber these days. Thing is it's partially the fault of everything being dumbed down. I grew up in the 90s when writers and directors were sneaking more adult themes past producers and censors. Those shows ended up being huge hits like x-men and gargoyles. For some reason though the producers got mad, cancelled the successful shows and dumbed everything down. Only way kids are gunna get smarter is if we expect them to and give them opportunities to.

    • @Aster_Risk
      @Aster_Risk 3 роки тому

      @@bobbymarr1297 Kids today aren't dumber than we were in the 90s. Your comment does nothing to support that.

  • @cheebadigga4092
    @cheebadigga4092 3 роки тому +280

    - reads book
    - changes everything
    - figures it's a "tough nut to crack"
    lmao

    • @lalehiandeity1649
      @lalehiandeity1649 3 роки тому +22

      Who says they read the book? lol

    • @cheebadigga4092
      @cheebadigga4092 3 роки тому

      Did you watch this review?

    • @dwightvol473
      @dwightvol473 3 роки тому +2

      Welcome to the world of Dark Tower fandom.

    • @JoelKellenProductions
      @JoelKellenProductions 3 роки тому +13

      Well, this is the same company that threw out decades of Star Wars Expanded Universe books, comics, novels, and video games, then complained that they don't have any source material to pull from for the sequel trilogy.

    • @JoelKellenProductions
      @JoelKellenProductions 3 роки тому +2

      @Ian Knight Don't forget in addition to creatively bankrupt, they're also morally bankrupt. I only hope they became financially bankrupt as well.

  • @rabidfirefox8914
    @rabidfirefox8914 3 роки тому +4

    This is the same Director that started the "Thor" Franchise and helped set up the Loki Fandom. Loki is a villain with a massive following. He knows how to set up a likeable villain. What the hell happen to make this dumpster fire. Oh, an Jon Favero was the director of Iron Man, how the hell did he get set up with directing the soulless Lion King 3D. I think Disney is to blame for both of these franchises.

  • @christopherr8441
    @christopherr8441 3 роки тому +4

    1:51 “just slightly” no
    More like, replaced everything with things that looked completely different but left the desk intact.

  • @confusedfey9192
    @confusedfey9192 3 роки тому +163

    When I heard Mulch narrating my dad had to bribe me to stay in the room. Those of you who have read up to the 8th book (do not read past this if you haven't, SPOILERS) know that holly is the one telling the whole story to a brought back Artemis. If you want a visual representation of the first book, just read the graphic novel. There's two versions and both are good

    • @Miyanoai14
      @Miyanoai14 3 роки тому +6

      Was it the WHOLE story or just 8th book? I mean I guess it doesn't matter necessarily cause she would have had to tell the whole story anyway, but I certainly doubt Colfer had that in mind when writing the previous books (he especially didn't know he would even get more books after the first, hence the open and closed story). Though I guess if this movie was actually good and clever it would have had Holly narrate as lowkey foreshadow to the 8th.

    • @benkaes3657
      @benkaes3657 3 роки тому +23

      @@Miyanoai14 the 8th book ends with the beginning of the first book, so I assume Holly is telling him the entire series

    • @supersnackbros2423
      @supersnackbros2423 3 роки тому +4

      Username is all too fitting.

    • @Cattensu
      @Cattensu 3 роки тому +6

      But it wasn't Holly in the first book telling the story. It was a report by Dr. J Argon. One of the supposed expers on behavior that was brought in to analyzes Artemis' behavior during his meeting with Root.
      Holly using the same words at the end of the Last Guardian that began the first is a sweet call back though, and did bring the series seemingly full circle.
      But I doubt that the chuckleheads behind this movie did more then just skim the first few books. They more then likely did not read all of them.

    • @Zkeleton969
      @Zkeleton969 3 роки тому +2

      My first experience was with the graphic novel, and my God it was so good. Illustrated the world and characters better than even the books could in my opinion.

  • @solibeau
    @solibeau 3 роки тому +80

    Root being female just doesn't sit right considering a lot of Holly's story was her struggle on being the first female LEP officer.

  • @pappanalab
    @pappanalab 3 роки тому +7

    I've never read the books and I got around an hour into the movie before realizing I understood nothing and giving up. Ultimately I just ended up watching anime instead.

    • @enoyreve4196
      @enoyreve4196 3 роки тому +1

      The books are definitely worth reading and make much more sense. The movie doesn't make any sense because instead of just following the first book and having all the parts there, they threw in random plot points from other books and ran out of space to actually develop everything. The first book can basically be summed up as "Artemis kidnaps a fairy for ransom money" but in this movie its "Artemis kidnaps a fairy I guess and also he is s a d because his daddy is gone and he wants to find his daddy and also maguffin I guess???"

  • @DazraelArianos
    @DazraelArianos 2 роки тому +3

    So kind of you to say this was some of the first and second books.
    This was some of the first book, some of the second book, a villain from even later books, a plot from none of the books, and enough changes to characters that none of them are the in any way interesting.
    This movie wasn't a tough nut to crack till they encased it in three feet of lead and dropped it in the Marianas Trench.

  • @TheKinoCorner
    @TheKinoCorner 3 роки тому +153

    Me when I see CJ upload: IT'S FEEDING TIME!

  • @ColdFuse96
    @ColdFuse96 3 роки тому +283

    4:38 This movie succeeded in both White Washing AND Black Washing a character.
    Usually a movie just does one or the other, but this is the first time ive ever heard of a movie doing both 😂
    Get them out of here 😑

    • @morriskat171
      @morriskat171 3 роки тому +52

      Bruh they even turned a dwarf into a giant, like, what the literal hell 🤣

    • @NorokVokun
      @NorokVokun 3 роки тому +40

      @@morriskat171 and genderswapping Root into a female ruining Hollys arch of wanting to become the first female high ranking Leprecon officer...

    • @dionemoolman
      @dionemoolman 3 роки тому +17

      The live action Avatar The Last Airbender movie did that years ago. They made Aang (who ethnically most resembled Tibetan) and Katara/Sokka (who most resembled Inuit) into Caucasians, and everyone in the Fire Nation (who resembled Japanese) were Indian or Middle Eastern.

    • @anatoldenevers237
      @anatoldenevers237 3 роки тому +5

      Luciano Martinez the biggest issue with Butler though is that they use his first name, which we hear like four times in the course of eight books

  • @jakfrost574
    @jakfrost574 3 роки тому +4

    Heard that Artemis Fowl was pretty bad, so I went to find a review. Found this one and thought, “eh, how bad can it b-“
    *Review opens up with an old man with goggles stretching his jaw out in really disgusting way, he goes, “It’s feeding time,” and then proceeds to both eat and shit dirt towards a guy and that all happened in about five seconds.*
    ...
    Hey mom, can I commit sudoku?

    • @lbanana322
      @lbanana322 2 роки тому

      Ironically that's the only accurate part of the entire film