The Ballista Bat - D&December Tales

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,2 тис.

  • @CreepsMcPasta
    @CreepsMcPasta 9 років тому +965

    All hail the power of the natural 20
    ;^;

    • @ryanwatts7817
      @ryanwatts7817 9 років тому +2

      I once some how had a wizard with 18 strength.

    • @JaelinBezel
      @JaelinBezel 9 років тому +1

      +Ryan Watts I don't even play D&D but even I know that's BS

    • @TheSpoonyFox
      @TheSpoonyFox 9 років тому

      +Ryan Watts Fist Wizards!

    • @JaelinBezel
      @JaelinBezel 9 років тому

      Spoon Fox
      Care to rephrase that?

    • @gdesign95
      @gdesign95 9 років тому +3

      +Cody Hines have you heard of the rare muscle wizard he waves his stick chants nonsense all while approaching you while you are frightened by what kind of spell he could be casting hebonks you over the head with his club he has been waving this whole time. and no it isn't BS for a wizard to have 18 it just is comically ineffective in most ways

  • @ceering99
    @ceering99 7 років тому +540

    This guy agreed to a 95% chance of instant death for chance to skip half the adventure and make a joke.
    I like him.

    • @Intothevoid-NIB
      @Intothevoid-NIB 7 років тому +76

      "And make a joke" more like "and make the best Rules of Nature moment to ever exist"

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому +23

      Viewtiful Z okay yeah that deserves a, "Getting close to it's last breath *Beat revs up as the Ballista shot gets closer and as it's caught...* RULES OF NATURE!

    • @InstaTechGaming
      @InstaTechGaming 4 роки тому +1

      strive to be more like josh

    • @Green-Raccoon777
      @Green-Raccoon777 4 роки тому +1

      @@InstaTechGaming For only Josh can prevent wildfires.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 3 роки тому

      Nowadays if one reaches a certain level in Barbarian they could reach the same levels of strength required to catch the Ballista shot (but still need a chancy die roll or...well insta-die)

  • @ChrisSmith-bb1dq
    @ChrisSmith-bb1dq 9 років тому +1066

    Was in a campaign with my brother, playing a Dwarf Fighter.
    We are in a court trial
    Brother : we're innocent
    Judge : I'm just supposed to accept that? Be serious for a moment.
    Brother : My words are as true as my aim
    And when my brother made his dwarf he created him with like...10 Mugs/Steins in his inventory
    He hucks an empty mug at the Judge
    Rolls a natural 20
    Hits judge square in the face
    Judge : Okay then...You are free to go.

    • @KurenaiHideyoshi
      @KurenaiHideyoshi 9 років тому +80

      So he was an alcoholic.

    • @Dom270385
      @Dom270385 9 років тому +151

      +Chris Smith The best kind of defense. I surprised nobody in the Ace Attorney series tries to do that because they love to throw shit a Phoenix.

    • @ellie_shrug
      @ellie_shrug 9 років тому +2

      Amazingly!

    • @austinherby9218
      @austinherby9218 9 років тому +39

      +Orenjiboy135 No just a dwarf. There's a difference you know.

    • @theoreticallyinsane5
      @theoreticallyinsane5 9 років тому +69

      +Chris Smith All I'm imagining is, "And I bequeath to you...A boot to the head."

  • @PaPajTheLad
    @PaPajTheLad 8 років тому +322

    Tydra just saved the party like 1-2 hours of the adventure

    • @shelbyherring92
      @shelbyherring92 6 років тому +18

      If this were a video game, he just speed ran that shit...

  • @Lazysupermutant
    @Lazysupermutant 9 років тому +193

    I can see the dwarfs right now "Fire!...So did we hit em, wait what is he? Did he just? Okay now he's-Oh he's not, oh shi-"

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому +14

      Lazysupermutant *Knocked into the stratosphere after leaving a Dwarf shaped hole in the cave.*

  • @Borednesss
    @Borednesss 9 років тому +426

    These.. need to be animated... you could make a whole series on this, hell a whole channel.

    • @Crystal_Dylan
      @Crystal_Dylan 9 років тому +10

      I was thinking the same thing someone please animate the tale of the Op as fuck warrior

    • @zerocool8218
      @zerocool8218 9 років тому +1

      +Boredness I agree with this statement a million percent

    • @guigondi7671
      @guigondi7671 9 років тому +1

      +Boredness I was also thinking about someone animating this!

    • @zerocool8218
      @zerocool8218 9 років тому +3

      I think it would actually get a lot of views

    • @TheZigzagman
      @TheZigzagman 9 років тому

      He's doing a whole series of them all month.
      Also he has a playthrough with some of his friends on his gaming channel.

  • @TVlord5
    @TVlord5 8 років тому +338

    If you think this ruins a campaign you had set up, let me relate to you a story from my friend, Danny.
    Danny was in a pathfinder group awhile back with a GM that nobody liked, unfortunately none of them really had another place to go for pathfinder at the time so they were stuck with him. Danny decided to make a psychic character named Riktoros (not sure on spelling). He was a psion created with one trait, and for one reason. He was incredibly lazy, and made with the intent on breaking the game. Now over the course of the game, He had slowly been gathering various powers and several abilities that are the psychic equivalent to a wish spell. Using these powers (I forget the specifics) He managed to make himself completely immortal and indestructible, this means he can't be killed, destroyed, or erased from existence or time. Through the actions of the party, the universe was almost completely destroyed leaving only him. Using his power Riktoros decided to finish off the dying universe, leaving him the only thing in existence. The GM just looked at Danny and said "There, are you happy now?"But he wasn't finished yet, using the unlimited power he had gained, he was able to create a new universe where he controlled every aspect of it. In other words, his CHARACTER stole the GM's job. Using only in-game powers and a few loopholes, the character of Riktoros became the new GM and is now worshiped in all of our games.

    • @megamarsonic
      @megamarsonic 8 років тому +54

      That... is the most ballin' story I have ever heard! `I'm just imagining the steam coming out of the former GM's ears as this was all happening.

    • @k1ngcarrot
      @k1ngcarrot 7 років тому +18

      I feel so sorry for that GM…

    • @ABELINCOLN-zd7lv
      @ABELINCOLN-zd7lv 7 років тому +10

      TVlord5 that is so rad

    • @Etcetera-xj4xr
      @Etcetera-xj4xr 7 років тому +7

      TVlord5 I somewhat doubt if that is true or not. Still an excellent story though.

    • @TrenchCoatDingo
      @TrenchCoatDingo 7 років тому +17

      nope had somebody do a similar thing with a wish became god of dnd world and the dm became a glorified narrator

  • @Firehazard14
    @Firehazard14 9 років тому +579

    Someone should make short animations for these stories

    • @projared
      @projared  9 років тому +215

      +Firehazard14 That'd be amazing!

    • @snaketooth0943
      @snaketooth0943 9 років тому +16

      +ProJared I know right! Could Egoraptor help?

    • @JoeNeutrino
      @JoeNeutrino 9 років тому +12

      +Firehazard14 For the love of god, yes!

    • @WATCHERtheCHANNEL
      @WATCHERtheCHANNEL 9 років тому +12

      We have one.
      It's called Dynasty Warriors.

    • @weeseet
      @weeseet 9 років тому +9

      +Snaketooth 09 Egoraptor animate. That's the funniest thing I've heard in months.

  • @bushmonster3591
    @bushmonster3591 8 років тому +150

    Josh is the type of person who would say hitman doesn't have enough freedom for the assassinations.

  • @kalimdori2150
    @kalimdori2150 9 років тому +626

    This makes me want to play D&D so fucking badly.
    If only I had friends to play it with...

    • @nickcarbaugh4301
      @nickcarbaugh4301 9 років тому +11

      You can play online through the pathfinder society

    • @MisterBones2910
      @MisterBones2910 9 років тому +16

      +Nick Carbaugh
      Or get a Steam group together and play in Tabletop Simulator.

    • @Seth9809
      @Seth9809 9 років тому +2

      +Mister Bones
      What what?

    • @kakashi0909
      @kakashi0909 9 років тому +5

      +Kalimdori if you wanna play some dnd and only too boot, try roll20.net. i am also looking for session when i found this app.roll20.net/lfg/listing/36334/the-radiant-flame and they are looking for players. its a 3.5 system so use only 3.5 im already a paladin so please choose any spellcaster, we need it.

    • @zayaannashrid1374
      @zayaannashrid1374 9 років тому

      +Kalimdori Me too!

  • @adrian.c6460
    @adrian.c6460 9 років тому +982

    the mental imagery in my head is fucking awesome

    • @projared
      @projared  9 років тому +166

      +Adrian .C THAT'S D&D!

    • @adrian.c6460
      @adrian.c6460 9 років тому +14

      ***** if I get a chance to play some D&D for the first time I'll gladly accept and probably accidentally drop the dice on the floor while my party members look at me in shame

    • @mattirundelin1430
      @mattirundelin1430 9 років тому +2

      +Adrian .C dnd.chromesphere.com/Index.html Here you can play alone or with a 2nd party member :) Me and my gf have been REALLY EXCITED with this :) It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.

    • @91jubaku
      @91jubaku 9 років тому

      I wish I had mental imagery. QQ

    • @bodkie
      @bodkie 9 років тому +7

      +Adrian .C Check out Critical Role. It's a bunch of professional voice actors playing D&D so the mental imagery is so good. A half-giant literally headbutts a full giant into submission with a natural 20 at one point.

  • @AHeroAlmost
    @AHeroAlmost 9 років тому +267

    I can vividly imagine all this in my head..and I have never played D & D in my life

    • @LexSchilperoord
      @LexSchilperoord 9 років тому +19

      The hard part's coming up with these things, and making it into a viable adventure

    • @leslielegra2313
      @leslielegra2313 7 років тому +10

      AHeroAlmost Good if you can imagine this that's a good start to being a DM or even a player!

    • @goldsrcorsource2551
      @goldsrcorsource2551 7 років тому +10

      how do you think a human even invented dungeons and dragons if you couldn't do that? Art would be totally fucked too.

    • @turperthepowerful5537
      @turperthepowerful5537 6 років тому +2

      Same here, I was almost crying from laughing so hard

  • @Ender41948
    @Ender41948 8 років тому +133

    I have to wonder how much EXP Tydra got from killing all of those dwarves.

    • @AlluMan96
      @AlluMan96 8 років тому +23

      If they were using experience, anyway. I know the people I've played with, we haven't really thought that hard about experience distribution. The whole team would level up when a certain accomplishment was achieved, be it an advancement in the story or just impressing the DM.
      Granted, we were playing for the first time, so the DMs were trying to help cut complications at every corner they saw fit. Still, I can see why someone would prefer making it that way. As far as I can tell, D&D retains the idea of rewarding exp mostly or only by battle. This sorta puts players in a position where some players will fall behind. I remember when we played, our team's Warlock almost never dealt a kill, shining more often than not when it was time to Role-play, interacting with the team and NPCs. That, and we have moments like with Tydra here, where he'd get massive leverage above the rest of the team, padding him out and potentially de-balancing the party. Especially if this kind of shit is common practice. I know that as my Barbarian, I'd be pretty dominant sweeper of the field.

    • @HappyBeezerStudios
      @HappyBeezerStudios 7 років тому +8

      "you advance a level once you reach Fort Placeholder of Duke Whatshisname through the jungle of Death"
      Actually a good way to increase the PCs powers without focusing to hard on combat or the need to grind exp.
      I would actually give a bigger reward for intresting and deep roleplaying than simple battling.

    • @leslielegra2313
      @leslielegra2313 7 років тому +2

      Went up to level 9 million

    • @Intothevoid-NIB
      @Intothevoid-NIB 7 років тому +1

      Ender41948 It was an instant level 20, obviously

    • @iamaunicorn1232
      @iamaunicorn1232 5 років тому

      7

  • @clarkthunder
    @clarkthunder 9 років тому +55

    No plan, no matter how well made, survives contact with the players.

  • @mothersbasement
    @mothersbasement 9 років тому +309

    man, I love hearing D&D stories. you should bring spoony in on this for a counter monkey crossover

    • @MoonPatch
      @MoonPatch 7 років тому +7

      what's the anime pope doing in a place like this?
      love your videos

    • @rottencopper1833
      @rottencopper1833 7 років тому +11

      not only are you a weeb but you're also a DnD nerd, I have been blessed

    • @RichterPhallos
      @RichterPhallos 7 років тому +13

      I miss Spoony.

    • @chuggaa100
      @chuggaa100 4 роки тому +2

      Apologise to Jared. This is what happens when you believe people with no evidence and immediately demonize people

    • @scumbad7953
      @scumbad7953 4 роки тому +2

      This comment somehow took me back ten thirteen years despite it being four years old.

  • @EODM07
    @EODM07 9 років тому +189

    "Think of Tydra as Guts from Beserk."
    But Tydra didn't get on a boat for seven years.

    • @sarcastic_slob
      @sarcastic_slob 9 років тому +13

      or did he?
      dun dun duuuun xD
      sorry, buddy

    • @EODM07
      @EODM07 9 років тому +4

      Bruno C Tydra's boat arc when?

    • @JaelinBezel
      @JaelinBezel 9 років тому

      +EODM07 Which is why Guts suddenly replaced Tydra in my mental animation.

    • @impora8145
      @impora8145 9 років тому +1

      +EODM07 At least Guts is on land again... to chew fairy dust and kick druids asses... and he's all out of fairy dust

    • @MantraMan2077
      @MantraMan2077 9 років тому +12

      He's off the boat!~
      He's off the boat baby!~
      He's off the Boat!~
      Seriously, if he got any more attached to the damn thing I'm pretty sure Griffith would have found a way to rape it.

  • @kaladabong
    @kaladabong 9 років тому +45

    Reminds me of a time where my buddy somehow rolled three 20's in a row and the DM reluctantly let him run up and over a castle wall like he was running on flat ground.

    • @proface5209
      @proface5209 9 років тому +6

      WOLOLO

    • @Alexs229
      @Alexs229 9 років тому +4

      +Ty Drac That's awesome.

    • @Straw117
      @Straw117 9 років тому +20

      +Ty Drac That would explain how Legolas defied gravity in the last Hobbit movie. He rolled three 20's

    • @TVlord5
      @TVlord5 8 років тому +6

      +Ty Drac That happened to me once XD We were in enemy lands and we were being questioned by the captain of a patrol squad and I kept making smart-ass comments to my party members and the GM kept making me roll bluff checks as though my character had said them.
      Guard: What are you doing here?
      Me: Trespassing!
      G: What?
      M: I mean....(rolls 20) Exploring...
      G: And why would you come to OUR lands to "explore"
      M: To assassinate your queen! (big smile). I mean (rolls 20)...to...give cake to your queen...
      I decided not to push my luck past that XD

  • @thebigdug
    @thebigdug 9 років тому +53

    You seem to make serious quests. I DM sometimes too, and most of my stories revolve around something ridiculous, like once, my party found a magic teacup, and they had to figure out what it did. It took them about a month asking around towns, doing trials and errors to see its effect, they even went so far as to sacrifice a virgin to expose its power. All it did was keep your tea hot indefinitely.

    • @Xmenspy11
      @Xmenspy11 9 років тому +10

      My god that sounds glorious XD

    • @chilihoyer3550
      @chilihoyer3550 9 років тому +2

      +Deku Scrublord I often add items of randomness to my serious settings. I tend to rationalize them as the creations of mad and eccentric wizards. The craziest set of items I ever gave to my party was likely a set of wishing rings. They had so many wishes that they ended up abusing them straight away as I had intended. They caused a huge amount of chaos and almost got themselves killed by a molten gold hydra one of them had managed to create. It can really lighten up the mood to have those moments.

    • @tobiaslesquid352
      @tobiaslesquid352 8 років тому +1

      +Deku Scrublord Hell, if I was a wizard, the magic teacup would totally be my first goal! :L

  • @traxthetrashwizard
    @traxthetrashwizard 9 років тому +46

    Last year, I tried to run a D&D group... thing... whatever... It didn't make it past 1 session... But, in that one session, my room mate was playing an elf wizard who was easily distracted by the opposite sex... At one point he let his party members kill each other while he went to hit on a princess. I wanted him to stop the fight, so I made it super hard to even catch her interest... He had to roll 20s for each step in wooing her... That son of a bitch rolled a 20 every fucking time! His team mates killed each other, and he lived happily ever after with a bad ass princess!

  • @Sass_Master9000
    @Sass_Master9000 9 років тому +102

    I remember one of the few time I played a campaign. We had to go into a goblin cave to receive some scroll or something. However, a new player had started playing with my group, so the DM thought a good way to introduce him was have the new player's wizard character as a captive of the goblins. After escaping his bindings using some spell, the new player thought it would be a brilliant idea to roll down a nearby slope into the battle field. What ended up happening. however, was the player rolling a 1 and rolling down straight into a fire. Before he can even drag himself out of the fire, a goblin archer notices him, shoots an arrow at him, and gets a natural 20. The new player starts bleeding out over the fire, so one of us has to go help him. I'm too busy suplexing goblins, the ranger is taking out archers on a nearby ledge (ironically) so it falls to our monk. After skillfully traversing the battle field, the monk makes it to the new player, drags him out of the fire, and gives him a health potion. No sooner than the monk is able to ask "Are you alright?" the SAME GOBLIN notices, shoots another arrow at the wizard, rolling a 19 and getting the max amount of damage. We kept joking we were fighting the goddamn Hawkeye of goblins.

    • @plbster
      @plbster 7 років тому +6

      Amazing wonder what the wizard felt during all that

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому +12

      plbster Probably something like "Ow fuck! Did I roast a leprechaun or something? What's with this bullshit bad luck to fight the Hawkeye of Goblins!?"

    • @MrSilvUr
      @MrSilvUr 5 років тому +4

      Wizard appears. Rolls down into a fire and gets shot. Immediately taken out of the game. New Player is now playing the Hawkeye Goblin.
      #HowItShouldHaveEnded

  • @dusknoir64
    @dusknoir64 9 років тому +693

    See it's this sort of shit that makes me want to try this game.

    • @RhythmSeal
      @RhythmSeal 9 років тому +25

      Same here, this is the epitome of what d&d is.

    • @ARSP33LS
      @ARSP33LS 9 років тому +17

      +dusknoir64 D&D 5th edition has the basic rules online to learn the basics, then just try and find a game on Roll20 or some local friends and get started. It is a great experience for me as a DM when my players do something to just completely annihilate a group of enemies with no effort and ruin my encounters.

    • @aetherscott8924
      @aetherscott8924 9 років тому +1

      +dusknoir64 It'll be the best thing you ever do

    • @jpcsdutra
      @jpcsdutra 9 років тому +4

      +dusknoir64 I urge you to. D&D with friends is a magical thing.

    • @Krukmeister
      @Krukmeister 9 років тому +1

      +dusknoir64 There's an app called 'Fifth Edition Character Sheet' which is perfect beginners. I'd still recommend keeping the Player's Handbook at your side but it certainly helps. There's a lot to it when it comes to creating a character and this app does a good job of helping you with that.

  • @projared
    @projared  9 років тому +499

    A new D&December Tale every Tuesday!

    • @Badbufon
      @Badbufon 9 років тому +16

      +ProJared
      do a crossover with spoony please!

    • @eliwoodthegoothoonter538
      @eliwoodthegoothoonter538 9 років тому

      what would you say to someone who has no experience with d&d and no understanding with its systems,but wants to get into it? and what version would be best to start with

    • @SomethingMoreOriginal
      @SomethingMoreOriginal 9 років тому +13

      Please, do this for the entirety of 2016. This is so enjoyable to hear,

    • @LiquidKidtv
      @LiquidKidtv 9 років тому

      +ProJared Cool, I enjoyed that.

    • @Cheesewiz680
      @Cheesewiz680 9 років тому +1

      +Robby C. i would say 4th edition, its not great comparatively, but the concepts are easy and the rules are straightforward, but as you get very comfortable go into 5th or even Pathfinder because 4th unfortunately focuses mostly on combat and not enough on role playing, honestly 5th might be your best bet though to start it streamlined a lot of things from 3.5 and still has enough role playing in the classes

  • @daninash4554
    @daninash4554 9 років тому +40

    "I'm gonna catch it"
    "that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard"
    "no no no, let him go right"

    • @areoants9453
      @areoants9453 5 років тому +4

      And as it turns out, he found a secret tunnel.

  • @brigid6378
    @brigid6378 9 років тому +31

    My favorite D&D tale is from when I was playing with my friends. So to set the scene my character Rousseau, (a healer) our parties fighter and our parties knight, where walking down a forest path. At the time our rogue and our mage where injured so we left them in the town, also I was still under the effects of a poison that lowered my wisdom by a fair clip. So our group was returning home when we encountered a monstrous bear meant to serve as a mini boss, so all of us take positions and prepare to fight when our DM notices something. As it turns out this random bear has a higher wisdom stat than everyone in our group. The bear then convinces all of us that it is a human merchant and tricks us into giving it all our gold...

    • @sonicrocks53
      @sonicrocks53 7 років тому +2

      Liam hahaha this made my night 🤣 what a crafty DM 😂

  • @Posiedon151
    @Posiedon151 9 років тому +335

    You know what would be cool?
    If ProJared hosted a live stream of a D&D session with him as the DM and jontron, PBG, SpaceHamster, and possible the completionist. I would pay money to see that

    • @duelverse8410
      @duelverse8410 9 років тому +3

      Omg same

    • @ittapupu8405
      @ittapupu8405 9 років тому +4

      This needs to fucking happen

    • @fearanger1
      @fearanger1 9 років тому +4

      +Raze DarkFur Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    • @fearanger1
      @fearanger1 9 років тому +5

      eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

    • @fearanger1
      @fearanger1 9 років тому +5

      ...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.

  • @Vulcanfaux
    @Vulcanfaux 9 років тому +119

    When I read ballista bat. For some reason I imagined a giant bat with a ballista attached to it....

    • @Watch17podcast
      @Watch17podcast 9 років тому +6

      Not just you, buddy

    • @luke8169
      @luke8169 9 років тому +4

      +donuts82 lets be honest, this was better XD

    • @anothga
      @anothga 9 років тому +11

      +donuts82
      I imagined a ballista *launching* a bat.

    • @jpcsdutra
      @jpcsdutra 9 років тому

      +donuts82
      +anothga
      So I wasn't the only one

    • @CrazyDuckBE
      @CrazyDuckBE 9 років тому

      +donuts82 That was the first thing to pop in my head as well :)

  • @darkblade190
    @darkblade190 9 років тому +73

    I love DnD stories, the crazy ones are the best. I had a game that I was DMing, the party consisted of an elven rogue/ranger, a half-elf cleric of Pelor, a Kobold sorceress, and a Catfolk Samurai. The catfolk ended up being the butt of many jokes (mostly because the player made stupid decisions) but I decided to throw him a bone. The party was looking for a wizard in a town, however their various side questing resulted in the town being overrun. In the bar, the only living NPC was an 8 foot tall, Oni Barbarian. For giggles I named the Oni Chado'raigin, but he referred to himself as Oni-Chad (mostly to poke fun at the weeabo catfolk).
    The Oni declared himself the new ruler of the town, and if they disagreed they could engage him in ritual combat. After defeating the catfolk (the self-proclaimed "Champion" of the party) he then declared that the party were his new servants, and together they would carve out a new kingdom. The Kobold used diplomacy to go "Yes, we'll carve a magnificent kingdom, but we should find the original inhabitants of this town to bolster our forces." *Rolls after bonuses a 24.* So the party and the Oni start looking for clues as to where the inhabitants fled to. After awhile Oni-Chad found some footprints leading into the forest. Remarking at his luck, the Oni decided that his new lordly name is "Oni-Chad, the Fortuitous." The party, on the otherhand, had different ideas.
    Rogue spoke up and went "No, you don't want to be known as the fortuitous, you need a real lordly name. Like the B*tch!"
    "Like a she-wolf?" the Oni asked questioningly.
    "Yeah, in these parts it is a term of great honor. It refers to a leader whose strength, and protectiveness of his followers are like a mother wolf protecting her cubs."
    Since the Oni wasn't from that part of the world, I let them roll bluff. Natural 20. Sense motive was like a 12. From that day his new Lordly name was Oni Chad, the B*tch, and he would shout this at enemies before charging into battle.

    • @digitalscott7732
      @digitalscott7732 7 років тому +8

      darkblade190 YES. ALL OF MY YES.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому +5

      darkblade190 Pfft!! I imagine his victims laighed before death.

    • @ninjabluefyre3815
      @ninjabluefyre3815 6 років тому

      I can imagine this being something my friends and I would do in a game (i.o.w. i'm borrowing this)

  • @lordlundar
    @lordlundar 9 років тому +53

    My personal favorite was when we nuked a bandit village. Yes, nuked. No, not an exaggeration. Lemmie explain:
    The core parts of this was twofold: One was that we operated a concept that magical items could be broken with explosive results. 1 foot radius per +1, magic explosions auto break enchanted items, and cumulative explosions would stack the radius. Second was we had paladin in the group who was from a world where magic was extraordinarily rare and he could also go into a berserker rage granting him superhuman strength (up to 23).
    So we were dealing with the bandits in this village and the Paladin went into his rage mode. With that, we made short work of them and sought about looting the building where they stashed all their good stuff. Someone picked up a +1 magic arrow and handed it to the paladin.
    The (at the time) 23 strength paladin.
    The 23 strength paladin who is unfamiliar with enchanted items.
    The 23 strength paladin who has no use for an arrow.
    So the paladin decided "meh, not worth anything" and broke it then proceeded to drop it. Right in the stash of a LOT of VERY powerful magical items. Remember what I said about explosions stacking the radius?
    We barely got out of the village before what was left was nothing more than a crater.

    • @theoverpreparerlamenters3r436
      @theoverpreparerlamenters3r436 7 років тому

      : I

    • @legoferrari14
      @legoferrari14 6 років тому

      Jesus! That must have been pure mayhem for your party!

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 3 роки тому +1

      You can't see it, but my Barbarian who had only JUST RECENTLY got a magic weapon (A Scythe) (after losing the prior one (A +2 Trident) to fucking WEREWOLVES) is making strangling motions at that Paladin...
      *Mung.png*

    • @ShenSorein
      @ShenSorein 3 роки тому +1

      Kinda late, but a couple years ago I was in a campaign that we ALSO nuked an enemy encampment. But we PLANNED it.
      Our D&D group was doing the Elemental Evil campaign (for those who know of it), and we had just defeated a group of cultists in the cemetery of a northern city known as Yartar, and in the mausoleum we fought them in front of there was a stash of loot...and a big ol' box. This box had magical seals around every single potential opening...and in the fight, one of those seals was broken. My character, a Dragonborn Sorcerer, had pretty massive bonuses to investigation and arcana, as well as other tools to investigate without opening the box, and was able to deduce that the box contained an orb...with a trapped Fire Elemental inside. One that was PISSED. And ready to break out...explosively.
      And they now had 8 hours before the rest of the seals were breached.
      The party (my sorcerer, a ranger, a Barbarian and a cleric and Paladin duo) needed to get pretty far South of Yartar to get to a Paladin order temple, but there was an entire mountain range or two between Yartar and the temple...as well as a bandit camp we learned was absolutely filled with cultists of the water elemental. So we could either raft down the river from Yartar, through that bandit camp, and potentially get caught, or spend like an extra month we didn't really have trekking around the mountains for a less dangerous route but waste whatever time we had to halt these cult activities. The party took the time to calculate how far everything was, and how fast the raft could get down the river. It took about an hour of discussion and planning, which meant 7 hours until the seals were breached. The bandit camp was about a six and a half hours or so trip down this river.
      So we rented the services of a large river boat, tied the box to trail behind the boat and use the cold water to help potentially extend the time before breach, and during the trip (which was just after a level-up), my Sorcerer was spending time learning how to use Phantom Steed (long story, but essentially finding the spell scroll the DM allowed it to be learned after 5 successful attempts in a row) and made the Steed conjured as a Kelpie to pull the boat faster along the river. This helped as mermen water cultists attacked the boat, which cost a lot of time, but the boost of the Phantom Steed helped get close enough to the encampment. Our party hid any chance their identity would be seen to result in an attack (learning from the mermen attack earlier), and the rope holding the box was cut free, which allowed the box to drift to the bottom of the river right in the middle of the encampment. It was a tense ten minutes, but once the boat rounded the river and was out of sight...paddling and the horse were used to get as far away from the encampment as possible.
      We were barely out of range when an explosion LITERALLY as powerful as a nuclear blast went off.
      The rush of wind and water nearly capsized the boat three times but successful rolls kept the boat upright as everyone recovered their hearing over time. The crew running the boat were semi-aware of what was going on, but the SECOND we were out of the mountain range, they pulled the boat over to the shore and ordered every single one of us off the boat. I remember the Captain's words still: "You paid us for a full trip, and so you have our trust to not report your actions to any authority or potentially dangerous parties. But you people are INSANE, get the hell off my boat!"
      It's been a couple years but I do hope to find a way to continue that campaign soon, I love this shit.

  • @DoNotFeedTheSquirrel
    @DoNotFeedTheSquirrel 9 років тому +10

    Oh damn, 18/91, I know that feeling. I personally started out with an 18/96 and was cleaving people in half left and right. At one point I had a lucky streak of two twenties in a row where my small band of adventurers that were new to D&D were going through a ravine, and goblins surrounded both sides of the ravine, looking down on us, with one single goblin blocking our path. Before it could open its mouth to speak, I threw my spear directly into its forehead, pinning it to the ground and killing it instantly (that was the first 20 right there), and every goblin on either side of the ravine looked at each other in shock and abject horror, then began to bow down to my party. (That was the other 20.)

  • @iBloodxHunter
    @iBloodxHunter 8 років тому +80

    I imagine he's Sauron with a telephone pole

  • @trialbystone2532
    @trialbystone2532 9 років тому +202

    Never played D&D but I'm loving D&December.

    • @trialbystone2532
      @trialbystone2532 9 років тому +3

      Also this is just the best thing

    • @theramendutchman
      @theramendutchman 9 років тому +1

      +LennyPerson I played D&D, also play another RPG (Ironclaw, yesh we're furries deal with it), and I can confirm in all professional knowledge that this is the best thing.

    • @Paur
      @Paur 9 років тому +4

      Never played D&D, barely understand the rules, but damn if it isn't fun listening to stories and sometimes play sessions like these.

    • @moeneet7069
      @moeneet7069 9 років тому

      +LennyPerson It's a fun game that's hard to get into. You have to really like and be comfortable saying things that can be uncomfortable to say, like this one time we were trying to get information about a coup and we had to sneak into the kings room to get it and we were stopped and questioned ny themto get past the guards I decided I would gross them out and embarrass them so I decided to invite them to an "orgy" we were throwing (we were disquised as royal ambassadors),I then followed it by saying the guards had nice broad chests perfect for soiling on. They turned red polietly declined the offer and then ran off embarrassed. Needless to say had I been playing with strangers I would have been hesitant to try such a bold strategy.

    • @babulbi
      @babulbi 9 років тому

      +Fons the Magnificient eey bro wanna jiff?

  • @WhirringGears
    @WhirringGears 8 років тому +14

    And not a single evil dwarven undergarment went un-shat that day.

  • @FaeKinomo98
    @FaeKinomo98 8 років тому +78

    So, I'm a part of this giant Techpunk Gurps campaign. It started out much smaller, but a lot of people got invited and it just makes the whole thing more crazy and fun. But anyway, we've got two assassins/infiltrators, a bounty hunter, a guy obsessed with bombs, a huge troll, a cyber-ninja/cleric, two snipers, mission control, a guy who works with chemicals, and our face/only smart person in the group. We also have an Orc named Bo who's an npc but is basically our mascot. He wears maid outfits. But anyway, on one of our more recent adventures, we were told to kill someone. We were supposed to do this quietly, and it was actually very, very difficult to figure out a plan. But after about a half hour, we had some good plans and backup plans. I'm one of the assassin/infiltrator people and my best friend is the other, so part of the plan was to sneak chemicals that the chemical guy made into the building to poison everyone inside. We ended up a floor higher than where we needed to be, so we were sneaking around trying to find our way to the door that would lead downstairs. We eventually reached a hallway like area. At one end of the hall was the door leading downstairs. But at the other end of the hall, there were two nerdy af npcs working on computers in a caged off area. My friend and I were quietly discussing what we should do when suddenly, the door at the end of the hall opened. We didn't have anywhere to hide, so my friend and I just had to roll stealth checks to see if the person now walking towards the nerds would see us. My friend rolled well, so she wouldn't have been noticed. Then I rolled. And failed. So the DM decides that the pressure of not having somewhere to hide got to me... and I farted. The man heard us and ran into the caged off area. He sounded the alarms and one of the nerds pulled out a chemical which he injected into his arm. He started to grow and basically became nerd Hulk. the other nerd saw what his friend had become and injected the last bit of the chemical into himself shouting "MAYBE NOW GIRLS WILL LIKE ME" as he did. Then he exploded. We're not sure why. But anyway, my friend and I are basically rogue-esk, so we had very little defense. I took most of the hits because I had focused nerd Hulk's attention (because I tried to seduce him to make him stop) so I almost died. Fortunately, we had help on the way. The bounty hunter came in at some point and helped lure nerd Hulk back to the caged off area where the other man still was. The other man then pulled out a gun and basically anihilated nerd Hulk. The bounty hunter from our party was hiding (I think), but my friend and I were in the open. We were also on either side of the only window in the room. The man with the gun now aimed at us asked if we had any last words. But before we could say anything, one of our snipers shot a bullet through the window and it went straight through the man with the gun. We took the gun and placed the chemicals on the bottom floor and got out of there as fast as we could. There was also quite a lot of battling going on outside of the building because there were a lot of guards who heard the alarm, so props af to the rest of the team for not dying and being badass and keeping the guards out there so we could get rid of nerd Hulk and the other guy. The person who gave us the job was not pleased that it created such a commotion, but he was glad the man he wanted dead, was dead.

    • @alyosha119
      @alyosha119 7 років тому +5

      FaePaints You deserve more likes. This story is amazing.

  • @jameslockey9279
    @jameslockey9279 8 років тому +291

    *gets a ballista* LEERRRRROOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEENNNNKKKKIIINNNNNSSSSSSSS!

  • @KabutoZombie
    @KabutoZombie 9 років тому +19

    >think guts from berserk
    jared confirmed to have great taste in pretty much everything

    • @clarkb2697
      @clarkb2697 5 років тому

      Have you kept up with the manga?

  • @clarkX100
    @clarkX100 9 років тому +21

    Pathfinder. 9th level party of 5. Barbarian/Cleric/Rogue(me)/Wizard/MulticlassAsshole. Flying on small dragons during some big cutscene style setup the DM planned. Diving down in a maneuver for story purposes. Wizard casts feather fall on dragon in front while diving because it would be funny. Dragon fall speed instantly halts from Terminal velocity to featherfall speed. 5 dragon pileup 1000 feet in the air. So ended our party.
    TPK'd by a fucking featherfall spell

  • @salmffron2003
    @salmffron2003 7 років тому +44

    Oh my god, this is legit my favorite story I have ever heard!

  • @brycevo
    @brycevo 5 років тому +6

    This story is beyond amazing. It show the ingenuity of the players

  • @Sabata101
    @Sabata101 8 років тому +32

    So I had something happen kind of similar to that. I joined up with a group that and an acquaintance of mine suggested and luckily for me they we playing 4e, the edition that I was learning up on. So after three session our party (two vampires, an undead warforge (Don't ask me how he just was) and me a Half-Elf) got into a town after being stuck in a giant cave system for the past two sessions. Night falls and we find out that the town was being occupied by an army and they would not let any one out. So we decided to wait and then sneak out in the middle of the night. Unfortunately for us there was a baby white dragon patrolling the skies, making sure that any in the town would not escape.
    The white dragon see us and comes down to stop us. Now our DM wanted us to run from the dragon and use the different areas as hiding places, sadly that would not come to pass. Our Warforge stepped up and said "Guys I got this, I have a spell that allows me to befriend creatures" and we knew this was a bad idea, as the spell used his charisma modifier. Peddling back a bit to explain why this was a bad idea, our warforge had a charisma score of 6 or 7 and that would give him a a penalty of -2 every time he tries to be charismatic and every time he did try to be charismatic bad things would happen. Jumping back to the white dragon every one had a look of please don't and some one said "No don't do it !" then he rolled and got a 19. He befriends the white dragon barley and every time our DM tried to have our Warforge roll a bluff check he would pass it. So we hop on the dragon and fly out of town.
    We then looked at our DM who had a look of defeat. He looks at us and with a sigh he tell us "You guys just skipped 3 areas and numerous encounters that I planned out. We'll have to end the session early today..."

    • @megamarsonic
      @megamarsonic 8 років тому +10

      lol I kind of feel bad for him and other DMs who go through so much planning for these games just for one of the players to throw a monkey wrench in the whole program by thinking far outside the box and getting lucky with the rolls.

    • @firerulezz116
      @firerulezz116 6 років тому

      Oh my god, I... I feel so sorry for him, that's pretty bad...

  • @authenticlimeflavor432
    @authenticlimeflavor432 9 років тому +18

    Speaking of D&D stories involving a guy named Josh, Here's my best one...
    So, this was my first time DMing, and we were all a little drunk (That's what D stands for, right? Drinking and Dungeoneering?)
    Basically, the quest led the noble party to a giant beehive, things were tough, the swarm of.... swarms were everywhere, and as it turned out the Tank was allergic, severely gimping their fighting ability. Eventually, they got to the boss encounter: The Royal Jellylatinous Cube. Turns out that was waaay too tough for level 1-2's... so, in a moment of "one too many shots of grey goose" desperation, decided to literally throw everything in his inventory at the gooey demon, Including his sleeping bag. Somehow (and the details that led up to this are really hazy) Josh's dwarf ended up inside the sleeping bag that he himself threw, and killed it from the inside with his copious amounts (3 pounds) of salt. Dried it up like a slug. I didn't want to allow this, but hey... The dice don't lie, right?
    Man, now I want to play some DnD.

  • @TheBrianJ
    @TheBrianJ 9 років тому +12

    Can D&D Tales become a regular feature on this channel, even after D&December? This is gold.

  • @superlukey3
    @superlukey3 9 років тому +169

    So, does the Potion of Fire Giant Strength increase *anyone's* strength to 22, or does it just give an increase of 4, thus allowing Tydra to reach such insane levels?

    • @projared
      @projared  9 років тому +180

      +Discord Kantus It makes anyone's strength instantly 22.

    • @ashketchup7354
      @ashketchup7354 9 років тому +46

      +ProJared So then anybody could've potentially caught the ballista shot with a 20?

    • @darkmantlestudios
      @darkmantlestudios 9 років тому +14

      +Mash Ketchum yea

    • @Pablo1517
      @Pablo1517 9 років тому +18

      +Mash Ketchum But only Tydra had it ;>

    • @moofahdrome6878
      @moofahdrome6878 9 років тому +24

      +Mash Ketchum I think it would have been funnier if the cleric or ranger did it.

  • @obviousoxymoron25
    @obviousoxymoron25 9 років тому +92

    RULES OF NATURE

    • @DiamondCrash
      @DiamondCrash 9 років тому +21

      +Edwin Chuni That is definitely a RULES OF NATURE moment if I've ever heard one.

    • @yochlel2642
      @yochlel2642 9 років тому +44

      +Edwin Chuni
      the Ballista Bat: a weapon to surpass metal gear.

    • @Busterbalz
      @Busterbalz 7 років тому +3

      AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES UP

    • @Liteyears11
      @Liteyears11 7 років тому +3

      WITH THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE

    • @Busterbalz
      @Busterbalz 7 років тому +3

      MatCD ALIIIIIIIVE

  • @MrDGoldDragon
    @MrDGoldDragon 6 років тому +1

    Tydra is a deity in a persistent world of which I'm a part. Thank you so much.

  • @ThePCguy17
    @ThePCguy17 8 років тому +1

    I love how you tell these stories with a spin-down die in the background, even though you'd never use a spin-down die in D&D.

    • @DeisFortuna
      @DeisFortuna 7 років тому

      ThePCguy17 the giant spindown makes for a better background prop than a normal d20 though.

  • @wickedawfulgamer894
    @wickedawfulgamer894 9 років тому +6

    This seems about right for any D&D campaign I've been in. Players will do what you think is REALLY REALLY stupid, but manage to pull it off thanks to a roll of the die.

  • @AndresLionheart
    @AndresLionheart 9 років тому +176

    This is something you wouldn't be able to do in a videogame, if they tell you you have to go through the passage, you fucking go through the passage.
    I didn't even know you could come up with stuff like this when playing this kind of board games. Like, I thought it had some kind of rules that you HAD to follow (like Monopoly or something).
    Even when there was no animations or images to represent the actions I could actually imagine this whole moment happening in my head, it was interesting, to say the least.

    • @donkiwi4888
      @donkiwi4888 9 років тому +24

      +NatsuhikoMiroku that's what D&D is all about mate :D

    • @MomoFerret
      @MomoFerret 9 років тому +12

      +NatsuhikoMiroku The GM acts as a sort of referee and storyteller. Typically the players have a lot of freedom in how/what they do. There are rules, but they're typically general stuff, like how you resolve hitting something with a sword, etc.

    • @JaelinBezel
      @JaelinBezel 9 років тому +6

      +NatsuhikoMiroku In my head, it played out like a scene in an anime like Bleach or a game like Dynasty Warriors. But with Guts.

    • @SilentscufflE
      @SilentscufflE 9 років тому +13

      +NatsuhikoMiroku The rules aren't strictly limiting in most cases, and the DM can bypass them for expedience or flavor, and much of what you can do in gray areas is up to the DM. So for instance, there's a thing called the Peasant Railgun, where you essentially get someone on a ladder, and then in the span of one turn, pass the peasant on a ladder from person to person. Since one turn is six seconds, depending on how many times you passed the peasant, you launch them at the distance traveled divided by six seconds, which essentially makes it a railgun that has infinite launching power.
      Once my party had to figure out how to kill an unconscious flameskull, so we ground it up into powder and stuffed the powder in various ghoul stomachs hoping the digestive acids would dissolve it at a molecular level. IRL, it would have, but the flameskull could only be killed permanently by holy water. But the point is, we were allowed to try.

    • @clarkthunder
      @clarkthunder 9 років тому +11

      +NatsuhikoMiroku A good GM knows when to leave the rules behind and tell a good story instead.

  • @gamr693
    @gamr693 9 років тому +91

    One time while playing, a buddy of mine found a rabbit in a cave (just an ordinary rabbit, nothing special) that he absolutely loved, it became his pet in the game. I took it upon myself to destroy his happiness at all costs and spent a long time trying to get the rabbit from him. While in a dungeon, we came across a sleeping dragon that could easily kill us if he woke up. I took this chance to roll to grab Rodrigo (the rabbit's name) from my friend's pouch. I rolled a 1 and was told that I grabbed my friend's character's balls instead but still thought it was the rabbit. I looked at my DM... looked at my friend... and yelled I YANK! I rolled a natural 20 and completely ripped his balls off, still thinking it was the rabbit. He screamed and the dragon woke up and killed us all.... My friend is still pretty mad at me haha

    • @vigge111111
      @vigge111111 9 років тому +22

      That is the most stupid fucking thing I have heard XD

    • @chancewilder9924
      @chancewilder9924 9 років тому +2

      That is the best thing ever

    • @MisterBones2910
      @MisterBones2910 9 років тому +25

      +Michael Shannon
      "Rocks fall, everyone dies, Rodrigo escapes and levels up."

    • @ladders7087
      @ladders7087 9 років тому

      I was playing as a dwarf in the original dnd, and I got hit by some random ass thug. Being the study dwarf I was, I attack back. I roll a 1. The DM informs me that my dwarf, named Grodd, jumps off the bench he was on, yelling "I AM GRODD, WATCH ME FLY!!!", landing flat on his face. Then my party's cleric jumps from the second floor. He has, like, 8 dexterity or something, so he also falls on his face, right next to my thug. Now he's got a dwarf and a cleric lying next to him. That's why I love dnd.

    • @TrueLooneyman
      @TrueLooneyman 9 років тому +3

      +Michael Shannon At the time of me replying to this, your story has 69 likes. Makes the entire story even funnier unintentionally. XD

  • @AnubusStar
    @AnubusStar 8 років тому +8

    This is how legends are born.
    Why do I imagine Tydra looking a lot like Nappa?

  • @TonyPizzaPie
    @TonyPizzaPie 8 років тому +9

    I'm just getting my campaign started (as well as getting started with d&d at all) and I think my friend playing a dwarf barbarian is a potential "Tydra" kind of character.
    He's only level 3 but there already was some moments reminding me of those bollywood movies =))
    Like one time he was surrounded by three orcs in the forest, he tied a rope to his battleaxe and started swinging it over his head, running towards them, you know - like a helicopter. He managed to deal some damage but a few moments later he failed on check and the rope slipped from his hands cutting into a tree but anyway...
    The other time he was more lucky. It was at night, an old fort captured by bandits, two guards at the gate. He puts evil acolyte's head (that he'd cut off before and took with him) on the ground, puts a driftglobe nearby (little thing that lights up whenever you say), makes half way on the wall with a grappling hook. Then he activates the globe, bandits come over to see what's going on. They freak out seeing a shining head. And that's when he jumps off the wall, rolling natural 20 on attack, slicing the guy in half with his battleaxe.
    And there are even more stories already =)
    Anyway, great video, Jared. Thanks for sharing with us =)

  • @aaronman4772
    @aaronman4772 9 років тому +132

    I'm hoping next we get a story that's the exact opposite, with something comical happening due to natural 1's. Because you can't have the Power of the 20 without the Curse of the 1

    • @Xmenspy11
      @Xmenspy11 9 років тому +39

      Goes to push Orc of ledge *rolls one* "you lightly caress his back. He is now uncomfortable"

    • @aaronman4772
      @aaronman4772 9 років тому +27

      Xmenspy 11 Goes to shoot an arrow against an enemy engaged in melee combat. *rolls one*
      "You shoot your friend in the back of the arm. He now can't attack."

    • @alexpryor2398
      @alexpryor2398 9 років тому +2

      +aaronman4772 The power of Taliesin Jaffe must be countered by the power of Will Weaton.

    • @TWOxACROSS
      @TWOxACROSS 9 років тому +5

      +aaronman4772 There was a time when Josh as a monk was the only one out of a fairly large party with a paladin in full plate armor and an unathletic cleric to fail jumping over a pit. It was more like he got a running start, then tripped and fell into the pit.

    • @aaronman4772
      @aaronman4772 9 років тому +5

      TWOxACROSS I ran into that scenario once, as a Paladin player myself facing a large bottomless pit. I just let the rest of the part go on ahead, thinking that it was just a side area and we could recon later.
      Turns out it was where the boss of the area was. Whoops.

  • @TheProgenitor
    @TheProgenitor 8 років тому +7

    My DM let me trade in 178 gold into 178,000 copper pieces. At 1 piece an ounce, that's roughly 11.58 tons of copper, which I smelted down and crafted two giant beams of copper and a massive hunk of copper. My DM was like "what the hell are you doing". I was like "building a railgun."
    Now for some background, we were a level 5 party. One of my friends didn't like his character at all, so he rolled a new one and had the DM kill off his old one. The DM did so by having a Young Red Dragon carry him off. That was when our warlock thought it would be fun to fight it. At level 5. It did not go well. This dragon basically threatened to destroy his campaign, so given that circumstance...
    *he let me do it*
    by my extraordinarily rough calculations the projectile had an impact force of nearly 2.5 Million Newtons. Roughly 1.4x the thrust of a space shuttle taking off. My DM said "Roll 6d12 and I'll multiply it by something I'm not gonna tell you" I rolled a 24 total. The dragon didn't die. I managed to bring it into killable range sure, but it basically survived being hit by a space shuttle. I was a little upset. But only a little. After all I managed to build a freaking railgun in a D&D game.

  • @SageSaga25
    @SageSaga25 9 років тому +21

    I love these stories, in my current DnD game I play a Halfling Warlock with a strength score of 8... But the party found some gauntlets of Ogre Strength and no one had a hand slot open or needed them- So now, as a 2 foot 9 inch tall munchkin- I wrestle people and they scream "AHH! HIS TINY BABY HANDS ARE SO STRONG!"

  • @SlitherLament
    @SlitherLament 5 років тому +3

    My marathon of rewatching, liking, and commenting on every Jared video continues. Video 55

  • @thebariobro7664
    @thebariobro7664 5 років тому +2

    Looking back at these to support and this guy's character is so badass.

  • @riddlemethat5597
    @riddlemethat5597 9 років тому +3

    "I was DMing, because *of course I was*"
    I KNOW THIS FEEL.

  • @LydCal999
    @LydCal999 7 років тому +8

    I was playing a paladin with protection, and was pinning another player to the wall to stop him from messing with an npc we needed. While this was going on, another player was suddenly attacked by rats. Having no shield, but wanting to use protection, I used the player instead

  • @TheEshy
    @TheEshy 9 років тому +65

    Every DnD group needs a Josh to ruin all the DM's careful plans. Mines called Ben.
    Also wouldn't he need the improvised weapon feat to pull that off?

    • @CAMSLAYER13
      @CAMSLAYER13 9 років тому

      I thought improvised weapon just made it easier to use random shit as weapons.

    • @TheEshy
      @TheEshy 9 років тому +3

      +CAMSLAYER13 Yeah, I figured using a massive ballista spear as a makeshift bat would qualify as random shit.

    • @TidusplZUO
      @TidusplZUO 9 років тому +3

      +Eshy Feats appeared with 3e. 2e just didn't bother with writing rules for that sort of stuff and pretty much advised the DM to wing it.

    • @TheEshy
      @TheEshy 9 років тому +1

      +TidusplZUO Gotcha forgot there was anything before 3e haha

    • @ultradude15
      @ultradude15 9 років тому

      +Eshy Ours is called Eli, and he is basically playing the exact same type of character Josh was in this story.

  • @kohganightbane9430
    @kohganightbane9430 3 роки тому +2

    I love this story so much. It just never gets old.

  • @Mr.Foxhat
    @Mr.Foxhat 2 роки тому +1

    This. This is the video that got me interested in D&D and tabletop rpgs as a whole.

  • @TroySpartan247
    @TroySpartan247 9 років тому +30

    this reminds me of 'Counter Monkey' from the spoon experiment, but a lot less rambly. lol

    • @matthewpennella2184
      @matthewpennella2184 9 років тому +3

      +TroySpartan247 spoonys tangets are great. he is easily my favorite internet personality :P

    • @gimok2k5
      @gimok2k5 9 років тому +3

      +TroySpartan247 The rambling is kind of why I like Countermonkey more, as Spoonys rambling kind of goes further into detail about several things.
      Still, The DnDTuesday is worth watching, too.

    • @matthewpennella2184
      @matthewpennella2184 9 років тому +1

      Most definitely. Projared is one of my other favorite Internet personalities. I'll always watch his stuff

    • @Msoulwing
      @Msoulwing 9 років тому +1

      +TroySpartan247 I dunno, this got pretty rambly :p

  • @kyledettman3484
    @kyledettman3484 9 років тому +13

    Does anyone here who play D&D (or other such RP games) have cool house rules?
    My group has a system called Theatricality Points where every session a player starts with 1 Theatricality point. The player can spend this point to essentially break the rules, however, whatever they do must be awesome ("theatrical" if you will) or in some way save their lives in some spectacular manner. For example, in one high level campaign the party druid flooded a battlefield and then, while the wave was still breaking, the wizard used his point to freeze (by means of a totally real spell) the wave, removing all those caught up from the battle.

    • @MrTheMighty
      @MrTheMighty 7 років тому +2

      Since nobody's replied to this in what UA-cam tells me is 1 year, I'll mention that a friend of mine uses a similar idea called "the Rule of Cool" for his Savage Worlds games. Basically what that means is, "if it would make a cool action scene in a movie, and fits with the setting, it works." He also made a deck of cards, two of which are dealt randomly to players at the start of the game session, and which the players may use at any time. These have effects like "double the damage of any successful melee attack" or "the enemies get reinforcements, but each PC gets another card or a hero point" and other entertaining things.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому

      John Crum I'm going to have to keep that idea in mind. If your friend would not mind me copying him.

    • @MrTheMighty
      @MrTheMighty 7 років тому

      Go ahead! My friend would probably be happy somebody else used those ideas.

  • @HeWhoEnjoysTehVids
    @HeWhoEnjoysTehVids 9 років тому +3

    I'm surprised you didn't just end the war there
    I don't even think dwarves would want to do battle with a guy who can catch ballistae barehanded

  • @alhrune
    @alhrune 9 років тому

    story's like this are what make d&d so great. one crazy idea and a good roll can change the entire story so dramatically.

  • @fyrefrost1898
    @fyrefrost1898 6 років тому +2

    My only D&D story is from when I was playing with my youth group, and the DM was the leader of the youth group. We were playing a team of adventurers who were hired to take down a hag who had been terrorizing a small village. Apparently a hag is usually a pretty strong monster, so the DM lowered her stats a little bit since our characters were pretty low-level. But when it came time for us to actually fight her, either he lowered her stats a little too much or we were better than he though, because my character didn't even get a chance to land a hit on her before she died. I think it took us longer to defeat her minions than it took to kill her.

  • @sabliath9148
    @sabliath9148 8 років тому +3

    I have my own little story of lucky rolls. Just today, at the RPG group I'm part of, we were playing Pathfinder. The party was exploring a ruined Dwarven Monastery, the party encountered a pair of Darkmantles. my character, Jone Backe, a Human Sorcerer, did the sensible thing and cast Light on his dagger, allowing him to at least see amidst the Darkness spell the enemies used. this incited one to attack me. it hit me for 1 damage, at attempted to grapple my head... and botched. Our GM decided this meant the Darkmantle somehow managed to pull a muscle, and it took a penalty to strength rolls. On it's next turn, it tried attacking me again. This time, I took 3 damage, and once more it went for the grapple... and botched again. The Darkmantle was damaging itself far worse than I could do. Later in the session, we discovered to reach our goal, we needed to defeat a swarm of bats. One member of the party decided we could create makeshift incendiary weapons by using the bottle of whiskey we'd acquired earlier (Our rouge stole it from a very drunken Kolbold). Being the party member with the highest alchemy score, it fell to me to make these weapons. The GM told me I had enough whiskey in the bottle for three attempts. First try: failure. Second try: success (one incendiary gained) third attempt: Natural 20! The GM through for a moment, and made the call that my Nat 20 meant that somehow I'd managed to create a actual Alchemist's Fire... using nothing but a 1/3 of a bottle of whiskey and a glass vial.

  • @wyattjohnson9691
    @wyattjohnson9691 9 років тому +3

    Cleric:a ballista shot is coming lets go
    Tidra:IMMA CATCH IT GUYS!!!
    Elf:that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
    Tidra:*catches it and throws it at the dwarf King*
    Elf:oh shit.
    Jared:*burst into tears*

  • @whensomethingcriesagain
    @whensomethingcriesagain 7 років тому +6

    Basically he turned into Sauron from Lord of the Rings, one hit sends everyone flying

  • @Danothyus1
    @Danothyus1 8 років тому +2

    that reminds me of a campaign i was playing, we were being attacked by a army of werewolves on a forest, our fighter was being torn to shreds by 3 or 4 of them, while our barbarian (wich by the way was a giant triceratops-man with a really stupid strength modifier)was killing a werewolf each turn, i was looking at the battlefield when i shout to him " take down that tree!". With one swing he completely destroyed the base of the tree and pinned down almost all the enemies that were killing the fighter.

  • @Terker2
    @Terker2 9 років тому +1

    It's cool that you rolled with it though, that makes a good DM, being able to divertz from his thought out plan, or at least not throw a fit over it.

  • @Fantome001
    @Fantome001 9 років тому +4

    "I will catch it!"
    -Drax-

  • @sascachuhuan
    @sascachuhuan 9 років тому +20

    the first time i played a D&D type of game it was this sorta custom made game, were you could create your own class and do almost anything you want as long as your rolls were good and it was possible because of the enviroment, abilities or equipment. I always loved the idea of a mix between melee fighter who can do small number of combat/support magic so i went with that and called it Spellsword.
    The DM didnt like how (Even playing by her rules) my character was balanced enough to what i wanted, so she changed everything, fucked up my stats, making me do the same melee damage of a thief, but without crit modifier, giving me only one spell called Illuminate, that could make any object a beacon of light (imagine a disco ball).....a short sword and a pair of pant..that was my only equipment one sword and pants, no shoes, no gloves, no shirt, just pants. I was pretty much useless through the entire game because my stats were so shitty that in order to learn new spells and do more damage with my sword i had to level up way more than anyone else.
    Anyway, because my friends were good enough to keep me alive (out of pity and they thought it was funny how my character had so litle accuracy that it "Miss his target and stab his foot with his own sword"..thanks DM) we reached the final boss togheter, manage to get a hold on a leather armor, boots and a silver shortsword and again because my equipment was shit, my magic was shit, my melee damage was shit, went it was my turn to attack the final boss (a Diablo looking creature) i said fuck it, "I enchant my pants with Illuminate and convince the enemy to a dance along with me", so the DM was all like "Thats dumb, you are dumb.......fine im gonna roll 3 times, if you get 3 perfect 12s you dance" It happend, the boss was confused, suddenly he dance along with me, my friends took the opportunity to drink potions and buff themselves with magic and eventually killed the boss saving the world.
    The DM was pissed :P

    • @pletter64
      @pletter64 9 років тому

      Mission accomplished :P

    • @Krukmeister
      @Krukmeister 9 років тому +11

      +sascachuhuan Sounds like a shitty DM.

    • @sascachuhuan
      @sascachuhuan 9 років тому +2

      +Pepe Roni She was, she had her own classes with unique spells to chose from, but she was open to the idea of creating your own, but you had a number of stat points to use, every stat had a maximum cap for starting characters and the idea is that from a list of skills and equipment you could sacrifice stat points to start with better skills or equipment, so when i created my own class, decent with a long sword and shooting fireballs using her rules, she nerfed it

    • @Krukmeister
      @Krukmeister 9 років тому +3

      sascachuhuan What you just described is basically an Eldritch Knight, so it makes no sense for her to nerf your character the way she did.

    • @Liveandlearn789
      @Liveandlearn789 8 років тому

      What a dick! (Also, that thing exists, it's called an Elderich knight, which is an archetype for the Fighter)

  • @kos_
    @kos_ 8 років тому +5

    "I catch it!" "Wha-"Commercial break.

  • @Taylor_Lindise
    @Taylor_Lindise 9 років тому

    1: I love dnd stories, so I loved this Jared
    2: never ever make plans about interesting encounters being in specific places, make all encounters you have in mind able to take place anywhere. Your party will ruin your plans. Always.

  • @shibumi8
    @shibumi8 9 років тому

    Lol!! Your reactions were not only hilarious but spoke of true bewilderment at your friends actions during your game.
    There's always that one player that goes for the insane/truely awesome options.

  • @BardsOnAHill
    @BardsOnAHill 9 років тому +33

    We had a guy like this.... He once burned down a wood fortress with like 7 natural 20 fireballs in a row. Another time he graphically raped a evil queen, and it was fucking hilarious.

    • @JaelinBezel
      @JaelinBezel 9 років тому +9

      +Sean Shapiro But she was evil so it's okay.

    • @BardsOnAHill
      @BardsOnAHill 9 років тому

      Cody Hines
      exactly.

    • @siosword
      @siosword 9 років тому

      +Cody Hines my friend rub his ass up to an ogre as a joke almost got raped his pant got pulled down and everything. would stop was not so far away. he was a guy just so you know.

    • @hereinsertname
      @hereinsertname 8 років тому

      I laughed so hard reading this.

  • @qwert_au
    @qwert_au 9 років тому +3

    Haha that was hilarious.
    Actually that reminds me of an adventure of my own that I DM'd. 3.5, Sunless Citadel, I was introducing friends to D&D, they were capable, but it was a slow easy one.
    Anyway, long story short, they get to the main gates, decrepit, worn down, hinges rusting. They check for sounds on the other side, figure out it's goblins! Lots of them. What was the plan of attack?! ...
    Warrior - "I want to take the door and use it as a shield to charge them!"
    Me - " :|... umm.. okay.. I suppose haha. You realise this is a pretty huge door, you might not succeed?"
    Ranger- "AWESOME! I'll help."
    Did the usual STR checks and modified DC's... needless to say they succeeded... sort of. They got the door off the hinges, charged about 10feet, lost footing and well, thanks to some lucky dice rolls the massive gate door fell forward and crushed about half the goblins (4/8) that were waiting for them. hahaha. We laughed so hard in anticipation of all the rolls. Was a fantastic moment. This is why pen/paper D&D is so great.
    Look forward to more of your stories!

  • @HexGarry
    @HexGarry 9 років тому +4

    I've literally replaced my vision of Tydra with Guts. Just whatever I thought Tydra as before, is now Guts.

    • @MistaHahn117
      @MistaHahn117 9 років тому

      Berserk has to update with Guts using a ballista bat now

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 4 роки тому

      On STEROIDS lets not forget....

  • @CDMudd
    @CDMudd 9 років тому

    I just want to give you kudos for being a great DM in that situation. You always should let your players shine. When someone comes up with an awesome idea, you let it happen and everyone has fun.

  • @Tekshipie
    @Tekshipie 9 років тому +2

    Loving the story telling Jared. Reminds me of TheSpoonyOne's CounterMonkey series in all of the best ways.

  • @TommyJuneyebs
    @TommyJuneyebs 9 років тому +4

    "Dungeon-master look, a pokemon"
    "I'm not a pokemon, I'm Ballista. Ballista"
    "You hear that Dungeon-master, it's a Ballista. I'm gonna catch it"

  • @thatsmeppl
    @thatsmeppl 8 років тому +3

    Dam these are just making me want to try D&D out even more

  • @gumgrapes
    @gumgrapes 9 років тому +5

    *Tydra suplexes a giant Ballista because he can

    • @nickkelley9139
      @nickkelley9139 7 років тому

      +gumgrapes Based on this story, that is totally something Josh would do.

  • @flyq7470
    @flyq7470 9 років тому

    These are my favorite kind of DnD stories cuz players like this always make games more entertaining than the DM alone could. There is a player in the game i run who would react exactly the same way to having a ballista of that size shot at them, and knowing the luck he's had doing things like that he would probably catch it too.

  • @MasterArchfiend
    @MasterArchfiend 4 роки тому +1

    Rewatching all of the D&December videos as I try and make a real life version of the Monster World event in Duel Links. Probably not going to be as open ended as games like D&D, but I am trying to incorporate character creation so some characters are better suited for certain decks, things to do besides dueling encounters so it can have fun moments like this and definitely include branching pathways and such.
    That and I love his D&D videos.

  • @Bliced
    @Bliced 9 років тому +23

    On the one hand I love these awesome stories on the other, it sucks to have a campaign set up and the players find a way to complete go around the entire thing.

    • @DemiGamesX
      @DemiGamesX 9 років тому +2

      +Bliced It's one of the sad truths you gotta accept when DMing :P Players are crazy, don't try to predict what they may do. Its better to have a rough idea of the area and such and then run with whatever they throw at you.

    • @chilihoyer3550
      @chilihoyer3550 9 років тому

      It really depends on your party. Ive had parties that adamantly stick to any rails I set for them and usually defy my expectations of what they are capable of. Other times I have planned out entire nations that were pushed out of the way by the PC's ambition. Best thing to do is to roll with the punches and learn to wing and repurpose material.

    • @lordlundar
      @lordlundar 9 років тому +3

      +Bliced Rule one for DM's: You are not there to control the player's story. You are there to control what happens around the story.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому

      lordlundar Yeah, people are THE X factor of the universe, no one knows how they'll respond.

    • @laserspellhawken7798
      @laserspellhawken7798 7 років тому

      That's why you write down your campaign plans like a module.

  • @vetlevedal8991
    @vetlevedal8991 9 років тому +8

    i wish i could get into this sort of thing again. i got kicked from my first game by the DM because i was noisy, joked too much, idk, "disrespectful" could summarize i guess. me. a first time player. who had to ask for rules all the time because i'd never played pathfinder or dnd or any such thing before. it's been too weird to get into a game ever since.

    • @LexSchilperoord
      @LexSchilperoord 9 років тому +6

      That's why you should play with good friends :/

  • @DrPluton
    @DrPluton 8 років тому +4

    Whenever I think of ballistae, I think of the movie The Gamers where a rogue backstabs somebody with a ballista.

    • @DeisFortuna
      @DeisFortuna 7 років тому

      DrPluton wat.

    • @DrPluton
      @DrPluton 7 років тому +1

      mastrvidman15
      It was an independent film you can probably find on the internet (about 45 minutes long) about a group of D&D players going through a campaign, and they end up playing their characters' actions out in live action. The party thief decides to steal from their target and then back stab him. After stealing the guy's wallet and pants, he decides his dagger isn't good enough. He goes out and rolls in a ballista and gets the backstab x3 damage bonus (2nd edition rules). It's a hilarious film.

  • @TheCrimsonLinkGamer
    @TheCrimsonLinkGamer 9 років тому

    I know nothing about D&D but I found this video really interesting just because of how passionate you are about it. Well done sir.

  • @TheartofWASD
    @TheartofWASD 9 років тому

    Jared, iv been playing D&D for many years and the story's that appear are always interesting. I enjoy hearing others story's because it really just tells a hilarious story of friends. I would Love to hear more stuff like this from you, Thank you.

  • @Gamsterjeff600
    @Gamsterjeff600 8 років тому +4

    Wow thats just so metal

  • @Adam-cq2yo
    @Adam-cq2yo 9 років тому +5

    You should've let the ballista thing hit the big guy. That would've been perfect.
    DMs should let the players make things interesting. You can always make a new villain, like the Terrasque, who has been put to sleep by a spell that has been broken now that the previous villain has died. Make the possessed army, now with free will, and the other army turn against the Terrasque, helping the party take it down.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому

      Adam Van Der Hoeven I know this is a bad idea because a Terrasque is basically UNKILLABLE. The only way to stop it is to control its mind and tell it to SLEEP

  • @Gurmudgin
    @Gurmudgin 8 років тому +8

    NAT 20S FOR THE WIN

  • @MegaPokeman1
    @MegaPokeman1 4 роки тому +2

    "Pbblt! There goes three dwarves! Pbbbt! There goes fifteen more dwarves!"
    Me: *thinks of Sauron in the opening scenes of The Lord of the Rings*

  • @jacfac9969
    @jacfac9969 8 років тому +2

    My friend is a DnD-er I recently played a game with him for the first time and good god I loved it! Best game ever 10/10.

  • @14dcook
    @14dcook 8 років тому +8

    IM making the ballista bat into a legendary weapon!

    • @JamesTheCelestial
      @JamesTheCelestial 7 років тому +1

      as a WoW player, I approve of this comment.

    • @chenstormstout9456
      @chenstormstout9456 7 років тому +1

      Jamstained Streams As do I.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому +1

      Mothzilla have the flavor text explain, "Formerly a siege weapon, this was unconventionally used to singlehandedly end a war. Only those who's might rivals giants could hope to wield this.

  • @PropaneWP
    @PropaneWP 9 років тому +37

    You have a gameplay channel??

    • @bigwillyjim
      @bigwillyjim 9 років тому +5

      +PropaneWP It's been active for over 1 year...

    • @CobaltWarden
      @CobaltWarden 9 років тому +1

      I had no idea either! I'm glad I'm not the only one

    • @KokiriKidLink
      @KokiriKidLink 9 років тому

      What is that profile pic?

    • @bigwillyjim
      @bigwillyjim 9 років тому

      Kokiri Kid Sailor Hill, If you're talking about
      PropaneWP's

    • @KokiriKidLink
      @KokiriKidLink 9 років тому

      +WolfBoy496
      ... It's...
      Beautiful.

  • @Dead0Bone0Brook
    @Dead0Bone0Brook 8 років тому +5

    don't worry I was running Star Wars Edge of the Empire, and someone sniped and killed Darth Vader in a single hit with auto fire. v.v all the opposing dice came up blank. v.v

    • @andoryugurahamu7523
      @andoryugurahamu7523 7 років тому +1

      Tenshi00Teto
      that's fucking hilarious.

    • @boxtank5288
      @boxtank5288 7 років тому +2

      InverseMatrix okay that's just hilarious. I now have this mental image of Palpatine just getting his ass kicked by this seven year old girl and probably going, "You know what? I'm just gonna hide from now on...." and running.

  • @stretchmcgee
    @stretchmcgee 7 років тому

    Oh man, this brings back memories of my Cleric/Fighter from the Gestalt Planescape game I played way back. Such a fun character, especially when he came up against someone he couldn't outright murder. So many hilarious plots and schemes, and even when they failed he typically came out ahead. I think that was the most invested I've ever been in a character to date.

  • @BearKenster
    @BearKenster 9 років тому

    Man I absolutely love hearing D&D stories. I'm gonna be legit sad when December's over.