That Moment You Stop Apologizing

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 13 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 188

  • @thekevingarcia
    @thekevingarcia 7 років тому +478

    My father died on Friday from stage 4 pancreatic cancer. This was so good for me to see right before I got on the plane to head to the funeral. Thank you.

    • @thegirlboss
      @thegirlboss 7 років тому +8

      Kevin Garcia
      I'm sorry for your loss...

    • @thegirlboss
      @thegirlboss 7 років тому +10

      Those that we love never truly leave us. There are things that death cannot touch. Paint . . . and memory . . . and love.
      ~Albus Dumbledore~

    • @lilith1508
      @lilith1508 7 років тому +8

      My mum died from pancreatis cancer as well. I feel you.

    • @Participant
      @Participant  7 років тому +27

      We're so sorry to hear this. We hope the funeral is filled with love and remembering good memories of your father.

    • @sweetboo1022
      @sweetboo1022 7 років тому +2

      Kevin... I wish that your time with family and loved ones is as meaningful as possible. My heart is with you. I am so very sorry for your loss.

  • @chibaby0306
    @chibaby0306 7 років тому +36

    I will never apologize for being emotional again. Thank you so much

  • @mahdy77m
    @mahdy77m 7 років тому +211

    I didn’t know that phone screens could cause your eyes to tear

  • @MakeupLover0919
    @MakeupLover0919 7 років тому +89

    Oh god, this hurts.

  • @chasingarches8693
    @chasingarches8693 6 років тому +10

    “You can go now.” - Wow. This line was so powerful.
    I can totally relate to having a moment that changes how you hold your emotions. I went through an excruciatingly difficult time when I was about 15, and after that I became a lot more emotional. I cried at movies whereas before I didn’t understand why people did. It was a real shift, and it’s a blessing and a curse at the same time.

  • @darkkiss7247
    @darkkiss7247 7 років тому +162

    What a wonderful video. I never understood why we feel we have to apologize for our emotions. Thank you for letting us know that it's ok to show our feelings to others. Loved this vid.

  • @jengum2803
    @jengum2803 6 років тому +1

    I’m 14, my dad got stage 4 cancer in his right kidney... 5 months ago. I prayed and prayed every night I was already getting picked on at school, my boyfriend left me, my best friends left me bc they didn’t wanna get bullied, then my best friend from L.A died in a car accident so I’m dealing with all of this. I just kept praying “I just want to keep my dad” and his cancer was 10.6 centimeters ..... and it shrunk to 6.4cm The hospital could not explain it and I’m so happy my dad is still with me.

  • @ya__basic
    @ya__basic 7 років тому +55

    Saying goodbye to your dying parent is the hardest thing! I hope we all get to be with our loved ones - forever!

    • @R_S_R_
      @R_S_R_ 6 років тому +2

      Staying all life with loved ones is the thing that we all hope..! But when it comes to value the time, till we can be together..Do we ever value...? Then ultimately, we regret valuing fake people, things and momentary pleasures and not the people that truely loved and cared for us.

  • @GIguy
    @GIguy 5 років тому +1

    I totally agree, it’s such an old stereotype that we have to get rid of. Everybody cries, if they don’t then they’re not human, crying is as much a part of life is laughing, and it’s definitely nothing to be embarrassed or to apologize for. I learned that when I was a very young man. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at 20 years old, and I was 21 my colon ruptured, and I was clinically dead for two minutes, they open me up, got my heart beating, and found cancer growing on the outside of my colon that we had no idea it was even there. From that point until now that I’m 50 years old I’ve had 37 operations, and in total have only about 4% of my entire G.I. tract left. I can’t even begin to describe the mental torture I went through, Then quickly learned that crying is a wonderful thing, and nothing to be ashamed of. For the first few months I held it all inside, but at one point I simply could not carry it anymore, and after I had my first meltdown, I noticed how much better I felt after crying for a few hours. Although I’m still fighting through all these surgeries, as I still need more, and despite having a psychiatrist, and being on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications, I find that there’s nothing more affective than forcing myself to cry at least once a week. I literally put on the saddest movie I can find, or just concentrate on something horribly depressing, like all the times I sat in the hospital crying myself to sleep every night because I had no more help. I’ll burst into tears, but wait until everyone in the house is asleep, they already know the whole situation, but I don’t need to burden them further with it, so I just cry alone at night, and every single time, I have the best sleep ever, because I let it all out, all the hurts, all the anguish and pain, all the despair and misery and hopelessness, and I go right back to being my normal childish immature sexually depraved self! I never apologize for my tears, I’ve earned them, more than anyone will ever know, if anything I am proud that I’m still able to cry, because it means I’m still alive, despite the three times the doctors told me I should’ve been dead! So guys, cry all you want to, and be proud! Don’t you dare apologize or feel ashamed for being human!

  • @fredaluke4514
    @fredaluke4514 7 років тому +26

    My goodness. This touched my heart in a way that I can't explain. His story is my own. My mouth was telling my Mom that it was ok to go, but my heart was secretly begging her to stay. Hardest time of my life I am so sorry for your loss and I am so grateful for this video

  • @CliffLewis28
    @CliffLewis28 7 років тому +192

    Thankyou so much! This is probably the most meaningful message I have personally received via electronic mediums. I feel for your loss. I am blessed to have my Mother still with me. She is in remission. We cherish every moment we have together. I still can't, for the life of me, fathom out why we apologize for our emotions, but it is an automatic response that will be hard to avoid. I love your channel btw! ❤️

  • @natnatwithafatkat
    @natnatwithafatkat 6 років тому +1

    you never really move on from this kind of pain, you just learn to live with it. Losing someone you can't replace is one of the hardest things in life..

  • @anithanagarajan2918
    @anithanagarajan2918 5 років тому +2

    Thank you. I will not be scared to be emotional again.

  • @erniepianezza8940
    @erniepianezza8940 5 років тому

    Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! THANK YOU! My dad had a major brainstem stroke and it was over in one day. When they removed the breathing tube i closed his eyes, kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him and to go home..... Im glad i had that last monent with him. Thank you for sharing your story, i was a Cancer Nurse for 10 and a half years! I saw ALOT!! You're a really wonderful man.......... 😀💜💙💛🎈🌈

  • @truthistheonlywaytruthisth6387
    @truthistheonlywaytruthisth6387 7 років тому +1

    Never apologize for being who you are.A sensible man is very beautiful.Be yourself.

  • @Sam-rw4nx
    @Sam-rw4nx 7 років тому +6

    This was beautiful. I’m currently missing a guy I have feelings for because I shut him out of my life. He always wanted me to apologize for my emotions, rather than his actions that have caused me to be emotional... I would with open arms and a full heart accept his apology if he ever truly realized my emotions were important and not an “overreaction”. Besides the point, I love what you said at the beginning, how being emotional means you are attached/care about it, story was lovely too, I just thank you for this!

  • @lovemecom3832
    @lovemecom3832 6 років тому +1

    I really felt his suffering when his mom passed away. One of most painful events that would ever happen to a child’s life is to lose the people who gave him/her life. I find this a heartwarming video of a son who misses his mom so much. I just hope he would be healed with the pain inside.

  • @a697ag
    @a697ag 6 років тому +5

    Twenty years ago I signed a DNR for my Mom, crawled into her hospital bed with her and held her when she took her last breath. All that time has passed and I feel like I'm still not ready to not have her with me and I mourn unapologetically

  • @lizzie2103
    @lizzie2103 7 років тому +53

    I'm so sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing.

  • @caroltassin4049
    @caroltassin4049 7 років тому +1

    That is the same thing I said to My Mother, my Father, My Husband,many friends,just so sad, but very necessary ! Every time I hang up the phone I always say I Love you as I hang up, because you never know.

  • @jelvehspence8801
    @jelvehspence8801 6 років тому +1

    Exact words I said to my mother before she passed away from breast cancer. Thank you so much for sharing this.

  • @alihs336
    @alihs336 7 років тому +1

    I lost my father some years ago at a young age. I often think about him and his loss still hurts me. The memories are all he has left behind.

  • @tangleshootburrfoot36
    @tangleshootburrfoot36 5 років тому +1

    You just blew me apart, and I won't apologize. Be blessed always.

  • @A98712
    @A98712 5 років тому +2

    Damn these stories, so real and always remind me to love and appreciate life. Thank you soulpancake.

  • @tinaarabia825
    @tinaarabia825 7 років тому +8

    I am sorry for your for what you been through, your amazing son and your mom is watching over you from heaven

  • @lia-ip3rm
    @lia-ip3rm 6 років тому +1

    heart goes out to you and others who have experienced similar or worse things

  • @airsoftandy9285
    @airsoftandy9285 6 місяців тому

    I wasn't close with my mom but she died three years ago and after her passing from cancer during the COVID lockdown... I think about how many times her advice helped and the supportive times where she was there for me... She meant alot.

  • @elizabethharttley4073
    @elizabethharttley4073 6 років тому +1

    This
    I said goodbye to my terminally ill mother when i was 15 yo. It is okay it is hard you reset your life. And every single life loss thereafter is another goodbye and another reset.

  • @nomadladygirl
    @nomadladygirl 6 років тому +1

    Thank you Joe, I've seen you perform spoken word, always an amazingly authentic performer, but this one was raw, and tender and touched me so deep and personally as I too lost my mother, my cheerleader, my best friend, 5 years ago to Cancer, watched her take her last breath, and whispered that it was ok to go. Your experience was so familiar, so eloquently spoken, I cried with you and will probably continue to cry for the rest of my life, somewhere inside, for my missing cheerleader. Thank you Joe. Sending you love and light.

    • @pochojoe
      @pochojoe 6 років тому

      jade turgel JADE!!! I’m just seeing this! ❤️

  • @landerlaurits
    @landerlaurits 7 років тому +2

    what a great mom

  • @LeaskleineWelt92
    @LeaskleineWelt92 6 років тому +1

    I am so very heartbroken for you dear. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for feeling the strength to share this and you have to be very strong to be so open about your emotions

  • @sweetboo1022
    @sweetboo1022 7 років тому +1

    What a truly beautiful story. I have held hands with 2 grandparents as they passed and that time will be in my heart forever. It is both a sad and awesome experience. Luckily, they both were not in pain. I am so glad this amazing man was able to share this story. I honestly love when I see a man who can share their pain and their true feelings with the world. It isn't something anyone (including boys/men) should ever have to hide away. I have some family members who think I'm too emotional, I am just fine. I have emotions and I don't bottle them inside.

  • @sirenlucy932
    @sirenlucy932 5 років тому +1

    I feel the same way.
    Many times someone gets emotional they start to apologize, and I‘m like:
    Please stop apologizing
    There’s nothing to be sorry about!
    It‘s fine to get emotional every once in a while
    It just shows that you’re human and not made of Stone
    We are meant to feel our emotions and not hide them all the time
    So please stop apologizing and just feel
    😊💋😘

  • @conorkavanagh1427
    @conorkavanagh1427 4 роки тому +1

    Just wow that was so real! 😊❤️ I felt his emotions I teared up myself 😭❤️

  • @nomthandazombokazi8222
    @nomthandazombokazi8222 7 років тому +6

    I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR MOM, THANK YOU FOR SHARING.

  • @R.kizito
    @R.kizito 6 років тому +1

    Rip to ur mom but what a beautiful story u shared u made me cry but u made me smile as well

  • @nathanblue
    @nathanblue 6 років тому

    Emotion is the window to ones soul. There's so much you can learn from a person who's not afraid of being emotional rather than someone who's usually apathetic. It's extremely sad that we live in a world where people view those who show emotions as weak. Instead of encouraging others to reach out when they're going through pain and sorrow, we're advising them to not show emotion because we see it as a sign of weakness. People are so hypocritical because when the person decides to end his suffering, that's when they act like they care. If you have emotional people in your lives, celebrate them because you know you have people who will truly care about you and your feelings.

  • @anneb.959
    @anneb.959 6 років тому +1

    This story made my cry.

  • @Coralcrue
    @Coralcrue 6 років тому +1

    This feels more real than anything I have heard in the longest time. Thank you @pochojoe

  • @school_pizza
    @school_pizza 6 років тому

    You have furrowed my brow, sir. I lost my brother to cancer it sucks, but these things only make you stronger

  • @wolfshauch7302
    @wolfshauch7302 7 років тому +5

    I had to experience exactly the same and I can't express how much I relate to the truth in this

  • @inthezonenews
    @inthezonenews 6 років тому +2

    Such a precious soul

  • @ATTACKOFTHEBENZ
    @ATTACKOFTHEBENZ 7 років тому +57

    who else is crying?

  • @geekfreak0416
    @geekfreak0416 6 років тому +1

    i have both my parents with me, but man... kudos to this man in the video, i still dont know if i'll ever be able to let one of them go and moving foward from that...

    • @taopaille-paille4992
      @taopaille-paille4992 5 років тому

      that happens to a lot of people. I had schizophrenia and my mom died from cancer. pancreatic one. you have to move forward, that's life. I managed to do great things in my life despite those two difficult things to deal with

  • @raquelsunshinejoy1614
    @raquelsunshinejoy1614 6 років тому +1

    Yeees!!! That’s the best description I’ve heard....”your emotions live just beneath the surface”😭. Since my mother’s passing three days before my birthday, October 16th 2017, I can relate😢

  • @miahleissa9599
    @miahleissa9599 6 років тому

    Thank you. I know this feeling. Maybe we all do or will at some time. Thank you for reminding us that we have the most important things in common, and they are the common denominator in this lifetime. (hug)

  • @darksky1933
    @darksky1933 6 років тому +4

    Why do I keep watching things that I know will make me cry 😢

  • @freshsquad2798
    @freshsquad2798 6 років тому +11

    I'm not a very emotional person but this teared me up🤕😔

  • @IK-fg4gw
    @IK-fg4gw 7 років тому +117

    Your gonna be a great husband to your wife and an amazing dad😊👍

  • @JesseandKyle
    @JesseandKyle 7 років тому +4

    This is so meaningful! You're totally right though, because being emotional and showing those emotions just means you're capable of feeling real things and besides, if you bottle them up then you hardly ever deal with the things you need to. Cry, let it all out and it'll be so much better for you're healing, whatever it may be!

  • @daniellee.e_x
    @daniellee.e_x 6 років тому +1

    I haven't experienced a death of a person before but I have experienced near death and I've told my sister countable times that if she needs to, it's okay to let go and whenever I hear someone say that I can't keep.anything down because even though we.fight, we have an amazing bond and I wouldn't want.to miss her at any time and for a 12 year old to have to say to her sister that it's okay to pass away is a lot to take.

  • @tiannafrancis9575
    @tiannafrancis9575 7 років тому +41

    you know what’s crazy!
    girls apologize for everything. granted i’m a girl and i do the same thing.
    if a pencil drops, “i’m sorry”
    i’m running past you, “i’m sorry”
    it’s so weird
    i was watching other girls and THEY DO THE SAME THING!!!!! WHY?!?
    i’m sorry about your lost

    • @sofreshsoclean08
      @sofreshsoclean08 7 років тому +16

      I agree. It's a frustrating part of our society that women are taught that they're always the one who's wrong, even when the dude bumps directly into you. ;-)

    • @allycookie2009
      @allycookie2009 6 років тому +2

      I'm a girl and I don't apologize for everything like that, in fact, I've known way more men that over excessively apologize than women.

  • @rebekahy.3425
    @rebekahy.3425 6 років тому +1

    I'm crying right now...
    And I am not sorry
    (About me crying, I sorry about his and everybody's lost)

  • @Panda-wh7ru
    @Panda-wh7ru 7 років тому +11

    Im not crying, your crying.

  • @elsainfante6067
    @elsainfante6067 7 років тому +5

    It’s okay to cry I need to learn that. I get shamed for it all the time. I know now that it is okay

  • @gigixxx1836
    @gigixxx1836 7 років тому +7

    Good mothers bring good sons. Good sons respect their mothers. Your mother would be proud.

  • @gursimransandhu2417
    @gursimransandhu2417 7 років тому +1

    The world needs to see it !

  • @lindaperez7759
    @lindaperez7759 7 років тому +1

    You made me cry mijo. I love you!

  • @1997jankuschef
    @1997jankuschef 7 років тому +2

    Great stuff. My dad's going downhill after 4 years fighting prostate mets bone and I've definitely become more in tune with and accepting of my emotions during the last 6 months.

  • @angelinaf4608
    @angelinaf4608 7 років тому +3

    I've said this words to my grand-father so I admire you and I'm thankful for you to be cheering that.. We shouldn't be afraid or hide our feelings. It's what makes us humans and helps us to connect to others

  • @jessicaromine3046
    @jessicaromine3046 7 років тому +1

    thank you for sharing very nice to hear someone so genuine express their feelings in a meaningful and powerful way

  • @juliejones8808
    @juliejones8808 7 років тому +1

    So beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing.

  • @lolass5240
    @lolass5240 3 роки тому

    It' s the best you can do for yourself, no matter what people think. To many people keep their emotions hidden and when emotion comes up they feel like spliting teared apart. Sooner or later, all of us will accept that letting out the feeling inside, will be the only way

  • @Hauenstein0825
    @Hauenstein0825 7 років тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this part of your story.

  • @MyHappylicious
    @MyHappylicious 7 років тому

    This was so beautiful. Esp for me who cries at the drop of a hat and who is made to feel embarrassed about the fact that I am tooo emotional time n again. This was much needed. Thank you again for sharing your beautiful story. I feel for you. You take good care of urself sweetheart

  • @mohamedordoni163
    @mohamedordoni163 6 років тому +1

    that was very emotional and so true thanks for sharing

  • @satnitcboy
    @satnitcboy 6 років тому +1

    A valuable message, well told. Thank you.

  • @RelatablewithStephanieMichele
    @RelatablewithStephanieMichele 6 років тому +1

    Amen Brother!!

  • @MeAVE243
    @MeAVE243 6 років тому +1

    Beautiful.

  • @lunamistic2353
    @lunamistic2353 6 років тому +1

    This is really touching. My respect for him!

  • @hidayahjamal145
    @hidayahjamal145 7 років тому +1

    It really touch my feelings. Stay strong

  • @crystalczarniak3083
    @crystalczarniak3083 7 років тому +1

    Thank you for sharing you are brave and awesome.

  • @sherahm.inspires9969
    @sherahm.inspires9969 4 роки тому

    U r so real. Clouds of blessings

  • @whyme3487
    @whyme3487 6 років тому +1

    Thank you Soul Pancake, I needed this!

  • @PerspectiveEngineer
    @PerspectiveEngineer 7 років тому +1

    Thanks for sharing Joe.

  • @mzhickz78
    @mzhickz78 6 років тому +2

    Wow!!! This was deep. Thank you

  • @hectorabcdefg9076
    @hectorabcdefg9076 7 років тому +1

    Ur freaken awsome muchacho. I think u touched many ppl

  • @Ashleymack.123
    @Ashleymack.123 6 років тому

    My mum has carcinoid cancer the doctor can't find where the tumour is but they say it'll be fine cause it's slow spreading . Everyday l just try not think about , sorry for your loss and thank you for this video.

  • @QurVgn
    @QurVgn 6 років тому +1

    Wow. You are a beautiful being.

  • @sfpinolera
    @sfpinolera 6 років тому

    Thank you...

  • @dganita5701
    @dganita5701 7 років тому +6

    I understand you. You are love

  • @RayreeBaby
    @RayreeBaby 7 років тому +1

    The ending was so sad but i love this video it's powerful!

  • @gillimoonofficial
    @gillimoonofficial 6 років тому +1

    Beautiful Joe

  • @taylormali9276
    @taylormali9276 7 років тому

    Well done. Such a great message. I take a slightly more opportunistic view as a teacher of spoken word ("If you are performing a poem, and you feel yourself start to cry . . . power through it. Don't apologize for the VERY THING that gives your message power!"), but it's essentially the same lesson. Also, I had to write a poem telling my mother she was free to go because I missed being able to tell her in person.

    • @pochojoe
      @pochojoe 5 років тому

      Taylor Mali dude, how ya been? You’ve been on my mind lately. Now that upspeak has become so common I always think about your def poetry performance! I hope you’re well!

  • @markie10ful
    @markie10ful 6 років тому +1

    Thank you

  • @sobiapronounce5377
    @sobiapronounce5377 7 років тому +1

    Thank you. X

  • @abhishekbolke650
    @abhishekbolke650 7 років тому +16

    every son in world is close to his mom😢

    • @vangelicest4183
      @vangelicest4183 6 років тому

      Abhishek Bolke wish i could agree but that's just plain ignorance.

    • @abhishekbolke650
      @abhishekbolke650 6 років тому

      Vangelicest why???🤔🤔

  • @crs1221
    @crs1221 7 років тому +1

    Wow that was so touching!!

  • @Airmaxx02
    @Airmaxx02 7 років тому +27

    I cried

  • @isabellhansen2864
    @isabellhansen2864 7 років тому +5

    This is absolutely beautiful

  • @leoniemae
    @leoniemae 7 років тому +1

    This was wonderful, thanks!

  • @sophiesmurph
    @sophiesmurph 6 років тому +1

    I don't cry, I too know death. Hopefully I feel again one day

  • @miznikki2u
    @miznikki2u 7 років тому +1

    God Bless You

  • @VishruthaPurushothama
    @VishruthaPurushothama 6 років тому +1

    This is just beautiful ♥️

  • @lilcease21
    @lilcease21 7 років тому +1

    This is awesome!

  • @caitlinisacutie
    @caitlinisacutie 6 років тому

    im balling right now. my dad smokes cigarettes and I'm so scared he'll get cancer one day and ill have to go through this and it hurts so bad

  • @luckysuzful
    @luckysuzful 7 років тому +1

    Love this.

  • @mnahshal8883
    @mnahshal8883 7 років тому +15

    Sorry for your loss 😿😿😿

  • @jewelbowers2607
    @jewelbowers2607 7 років тому +1

    thirty seconds in and I started crying... 😂😂

  • @siennamarie9460
    @siennamarie9460 6 років тому

    i hate crying in front of people because it brings a form of attention that i don’t like. i HATE crying in public so much that i’ve created a mental block where i physically can’t cry if i’m not in a place i feel safe like my car or my room or something. this weekend i was out. doing something for my marching band. it was a really hard day bc something happened and i felt really unwanted and alone and abandoned. i didn’t want to talk to anyone about it bc again. don’t like crying in front of people. well one of my friends kept bothering me and it got to a point where o couldn’t hold it in. and so i told her. and then i was crying so hard i would gasp for air but couldn’t let anything out. and someone in my section called me a cry baby. never cried in front of anyone. and the moment i do. i’m a cry baby. i’m done crying in front of people