wizard slander

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  • Опубліковано 23 гру 2024

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  • @booradley1138
    @booradley1138 Рік тому +8608

    Druids will wild shape into a nine foot tall grizzly bear, tear a man in half and say, "Nature is so much more peaceful than civilization."

    • @generalbolivar9736
      @generalbolivar9736 Рік тому +721

      Artificers will power an automaton from the agonized soul of an elemental, insert bread in it and say , "Ah, now my breakfast toast will be ready on time."

    • @concerningindividual
      @concerningindividual Рік тому +404

      Cult leaders will summon ancient evils that immediately betray them and then plan to flood the earth for their new domain and say, "No, how could this of happened?!?!"

    • @alexs1954
      @alexs1954 Рік тому +68

      Depends what you mean by “tear a man in half”

    • @willfinck1267
      @willfinck1267 Рік тому +210

      @@concerningindividualClerics will see you negotiate a reasonable deal with a entity of unimaginable power and say "No! He has unleashed untold death and destruction! He must be stopped!"

    • @engrinis6344
      @engrinis6344 Рік тому +157

      illusionists will have their tower dispelled in an instant and say, "i am the master of reality"
      arcanists will spend 8 days drawing magic circles to repair a mug and say, "immense powers come with great knowledge"
      elementalists will drink 18 alchemist made potions to restore their mana and say ,"the elements granted me power"

  • @thekinginyellowmessiahofha6308
    @thekinginyellowmessiahofha6308 Рік тому +3942

    Knights will carve runes of warding into their armor and have mages enchant their blades and say “magic is for the pusillanimous and sickly”,

    • @kaminsod4077
      @kaminsod4077 Рік тому +353

      Hypocrisy is an essential trait of knighthood after all.

    • @beastwarsFTW
      @beastwarsFTW Рік тому +154

      Elemental Mages will fail to cast spells because some guy keeps slapping them in the face and say "Fear My mastery of fire."

    • @DF12612
      @DF12612 Рік тому

      well, you aren't wrong, it's hard to combine Christian love and forgiveness with that lance going ballistic on enemy head @@kaminsod4077

    • @aneffortlesssmile
      @aneffortlesssmile Рік тому +21

      Thanks to you for enriching my vocabulary.

    • @indrickboreale7381
      @indrickboreale7381 Рік тому +9

      Runes and enchants can't miscast

  • @TLhikan
    @TLhikan Рік тому +3861

    Monks will see you ride into battle equipped with masterly crafted armor and blade and say “He has not mastered the discipline of the body”.

    • @megatennepster3833
      @megatennepster3833 Рік тому +387

      Fighters will attack with the same swing 5 times in a row and say "my opponent was no match for my tactical battle prowess!"

    • @aymanayad7230
      @aymanayad7230 Рік тому +79

      ​@@megatennepster3833the monk is yet to understand that being in position to attack is already victory

    • @davidmingle5910
      @davidmingle5910 Рік тому +115

      ​@@megatennepster3833to be fair if your opponent fails to block the same strike 5 times, that's just a skill issue

    • @AstraIVagabond
      @AstraIVagabond Рік тому +78

      Fighters will see you dash across the battlefield and disable their opponent with your own life force, and say, “This hermit knows not what it takes to win a war.”

    • @janefkrbtt
      @janefkrbtt Рік тому +2

      this one is actually my favorite

  • @Shadest
    @Shadest Рік тому +6398

    Bards will say "I only wish to spread joy through song!" and then insult a man so hard he dies.

    • @kirtil5177
      @kirtil5177 Рік тому +416

      Bards will cave in the skull of a flanking rapscallion with their steel-tipped lute and say "I'll spread harmony upon the lands with my art!"

    • @Vodka6329
      @Vodka6329 Рік тому

      Bard will say "I only wish to spread joy through song!" and the guards will say "That manwhore infected the whole village!"

    • @henryhere
      @henryhere Рік тому +147

      So how did you discover your magical abilities?
      "Well I was just makin fun of a goblin one day and he just like, died. It was the weirdest crap ever"

    • @kuroikarasu3315
      @kuroikarasu3315 Рік тому +57

      I cast vicious mockery.

    • @noblemoore238
      @noblemoore238 Рік тому +51

      Bards will accept a quest to slay the dragon and come back a father of 50 and 3 of them are the dragons

  • @sovietpotato4540
    @sovietpotato4540 Рік тому +1096

    Magic users will see you tear in half the servants of the dark gods with your two-handed greatsword and say "he can't cast a simple cantrip"

    • @ShadowWizard5757
      @ShadowWizard5757 Рік тому +88

      Warriors will see you burn a regiment away with the flick of your wrists and say "he cannot lift a blade."

    • @Liam-lx8xb
      @Liam-lx8xb 11 місяців тому +24

      Giants will watch an adventurer fell a dragon with nothing but a sword and a shield and say " I'm gonna eat that guy"

    • @richardtimothihimbawan69
      @richardtimothihimbawan69 10 місяців тому +12

      ​@@Liam-lx8xbadventurers will watch as you throw a rock so fast it shattered the sound barried and say "fool don't know how to swing a sword"

    • @toastie8173
      @toastie8173 8 місяців тому +3

      Cyclops will throw stones at an immobile castle, still miss by like 400 paces, and then say "Its harder with only 1 eye you know"

    • @Liam-lx8xb
      @Liam-lx8xb 8 місяців тому +2

      @@richardtimothihimbawan69 Dwarfs will conquer countless other kingdoms is search of gold and then be like "Ogres are a buncha greedy bastards"

  • @Nikkidafox
    @Nikkidafox Рік тому +286

    Paladins will say. "I bring peace to the less fortunate!" while beating to death a homeless man for stealing a loaf of bread.

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 Рік тому +47

      The famed "awful good" paladins

    • @nala7829
      @nala7829 Рік тому +13

      A reminder for paladins:
      Robin Hood could be lawful good, but Javert certainly isn't.

    • @Nikkidafox
      @Nikkidafox Рік тому +28

      @@nala7829 Robin Hood most certainly was not lawful good. He's an epitome of chaotic good. Literally breaking the law to help others.

    • @tetrasimplex3236
      @tetrasimplex3236 Рік тому +7

      Lawful good ain't about The government's law. It's only about having a strict set of rules for yourself. (Some of which could mean following the law)

    • @tristanband4003
      @tristanband4003 Рік тому +4

      @@tetrasimplex3236 In practice it typically does mean following the laws.

  • @red_ruby4881
    @red_ruby4881 Рік тому +95

    Inquisitors will brutality mutilate a child who knows a single card trick and say "Your foul sorcery is no more!"

    • @thecaelspice
      @thecaelspice Рік тому +6

      Heretics will Forsake the word of the Almighty Lord above and be shocked when he forsakes them.

    • @LumaSloth
      @LumaSloth 8 місяців тому +5

      ​@@thecaelspice cringe

    • @spectralanomaly1683
      @spectralanomaly1683 4 місяці тому

      @red_ruby4881 chirstians will be like "our Lord is Almighty and merciful and all loving" and be quiet when their house gets swept away by a flash flood or when the 8 year old dies of stage 4 cancer or when the infant of a perfectly healthy couple is born without arms or legs and dies 4 minutes later due to a malformed heart

  • @tarkatantapir7287
    @tarkatantapir7287 Рік тому +1364

    Vampire counts will watch as you flechette their undead armies with a shower of molten steel and remark "He studies the lore of metal because he can't afford any."

    • @tau-5794
      @tau-5794 Рік тому +176

      Dwarf-things will look-watch at a warpstone rocket raze-blast their mine-hold to rubble and say-whine "The rats have bad-unreliable craftsmanship next to our superior-better artifice, yes-yes"

    • @Freekymoho
      @Freekymoho Рік тому +128

      ​@@tau-5794skaven filth will see a noble dawi hold withstand a thousand sieges and say "they waste time-time cutting stone, mud and manure are faster yes yes"

    • @alfasolmega4458
      @alfasolmega4458 Рік тому +46

      ​@@FreekymohoGet-Acquire the manure inside the Skavenslaves yes-yes, extra meat-material for the wall-barricade yes-yes.

    • @christianbroadbent7489
      @christianbroadbent7489 Рік тому +36

      @@tau-5794 Skaven will assault the same Dwarfen outpost that killed 8 generations of his family line and say "Pathetic-sad craftsmenship compared to the glorious-great Underempire!"

    • @fetherfulbiped
      @fetherfulbiped Рік тому

      Lizardmen will raze your settlement to the ground and eat your children alive, and then claim that "It's all according to the Great Plan"

  • @mistuh69420
    @mistuh69420 Рік тому +323

    Pyromancers will see you bend thunder and lightning to your will and say “he has not the patience to tame Fire!”

    • @balsamon69
      @balsamon69 Рік тому +15

      Clerics will see you one shot a boss with Crystal Homing Soulmass + Crown of Dusk and say + Bellowing Dragoncrest Ring and say "Get a load of this filthy casual"

    • @jof1391
      @jof1391 Рік тому +28

      I bet a bunch of angry pyromancers are typing away with their burned hands about how normal magic is for the weak willed.

    • @beanboi8838
      @beanboi8838 Рік тому +3

      ​@@jof1391Aren't pyromancers immune to their own flames?

    • @katier9725
      @katier9725 Рік тому +12

      Lightning Mages will see you clean out an entire room of enemies with one fireball and say "Chain lightning would have caused less collatoral damage."

  • @alcotismo
    @alcotismo Рік тому +546

    Alchemists will give you healing potions that provide just 10hp and say "Be wary, for these are my strongest potions!"

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 Рік тому +18

      "Laughs in 200 hp potions"

    • @The.Orange.Wizard
      @The.Orange.Wizard Рік тому +60

      His strongest potions are too strong for you, traveller.

    • @TheAzureGhost
      @TheAzureGhost Рік тому +13

      These potions of mine are so powerfull , they can bring the dead back to life!
      The warrior drinks a whole batch while gravely injured and dies shortly after.
      Well, they have no effect on the living....

    • @victorvirgili4447
      @victorvirgili4447 4 місяці тому +2

      @@TheAzureGhost”The drink once killed a man with its taste then revived him with its healing properties”

    • @TheAzureGhost
      @TheAzureGhost 4 місяці тому +1

      @@victorvirgili4447 that drink sounds familiar.
      I think it's called students coffee.

  • @ricardoricardoricardoricardo
    @ricardoricardoricardoricardo Рік тому +424

    Rogues will see you master light magic and say "heheh, too scared of the dark?".

    • @ElishaFollet
      @ElishaFollet Рік тому +51

      Yes, yes I am, .proceeds to flash bang the rogue.

    • @beastwarsFTW
      @beastwarsFTW Рік тому +41

      Battle Priest kill every conscripted troop on their way to the evil overlord and say "Thall shall not kill."

    • @briishcabbage568
      @briishcabbage568 Рік тому +2

      ​@@ElishaFolletAyo?

    • @salj.5459
      @salj.5459 Рік тому

      @@briishcabbage568How is that "ayo"?

    • @briishcabbage568
      @briishcabbage568 Рік тому +3

      @@salj.5459 Probably just saw the "flash" and "bang" seperately

  • @TheHangedMan
    @TheHangedMan Рік тому +702

    Healers will quote their oath to help every being in need, save an orc chieftain from bleeding out and then when their raidering band returns say "Why can't the soldiers protect the village?!"

    • @CrizzyEyes
      @CrizzyEyes Рік тому

      "Bitch you knew I was an orc."

  • @ElusiveMysteryMan
    @ElusiveMysteryMan Рік тому +354

    Monk: Knights will see you leap through the air and punch a hole through a brigand's chest and say, "He lacks the discipline for swordplay."

    • @lordpumpkinhead265
      @lordpumpkinhead265 Рік тому +54

      Monks will spend ten days meditating on a rock just because they had an internal debate on what to buy at the market and say, "The conflict has been resolved. I do not want anything."

    • @jainittai5104
      @jainittai5104 Рік тому

      ​@@lordpumpkinhead265dead ass😂

    • @celldh0825
      @celldh0825 Рік тому +9

      Monks will see you smite a great Dragon with a great sword of steel and say “He lacks to mental fortitude for hand to hand combat”

  • @newjerseyyouth4853
    @newjerseyyouth4853 Рік тому +210

    Occultists will let themselves be transformed into horrific monstrosities and say “the witch hunters fear my enlightenment”

  • @wisdomaxolotl2766
    @wisdomaxolotl2766 Рік тому +682

    Clerics will abliterate a man with the force of a thousand suns, and then complain about being a support class.

  • @WilliamAppel3
    @WilliamAppel3 Рік тому +2053

    Alchemist's potions are simply too strong for you. Simple as

    • @giankjojo
      @giankjojo Рік тому +167

      and therefore you CANNOT have them💪👺👎

    • @lightpro7
      @lightpro7 Рік тому +210

      Potion seller im telling you I need your strongest potions

    • @goofgoobernicus
      @goofgoobernicus Рік тому

      You're a rascal, you're a rascal with no respect for knights. No respect for anything... except your potions!!!

    • @JonathanYip
      @JonathanYip Рік тому +117

      In a perfect world, men like the potion seller would not exist...
      ...but this is not a perfect world.

    • @kneegoblin4352
      @kneegoblin4352 Рік тому +71

      You cannot handle my strongest potion

  • @arkaleosskavalt498
    @arkaleosskavalt498 Рік тому +162

    To be fair they probably just called the diviner a conspiracy theorist when he tried to warn them the first 10 times

    • @tristanband4003
      @tristanband4003 Рік тому +9

      And a nerd/beta/soyjack

    • @mechadeka
      @mechadeka 8 місяців тому +6

      And after the disaster they say that he caused it to happen.

  • @Rat_64
    @Rat_64 Рік тому +222

    Adventurers will collect hundreds of healing potions while never drinking one and say “if only I had more health”

    • @swedneck
      @swedneck Рік тому +51

      Adventurers will say "i can't use this artefact of acid slime protection, what if i need it later?!", while they are being dissolved by the only acid slime on this side of the continent

    • @RedBoko2017
      @RedBoko2017 Рік тому +5

      @@swedneck but what if?

    • @st.haborym
      @st.haborym 10 місяців тому

      Too real

    • @ketaminepoptarts
      @ketaminepoptarts 8 місяців тому +3

      @@swedneck but what if there's secretly two on this side of the continent?

  • @violentbeetle2441
    @violentbeetle2441 Рік тому +2551

    Wizards will see you program a self-aware artificial superintelligence and say "He is violating the genre conventions"
    Scientists will see you peer through the veil of creation and uncover the mysteries of the cosmos and ask "Is this research peer-reviewed?"

  • @captaintitus4637
    @captaintitus4637 Рік тому +613

    As a thousand sons enjoyer I'm pretty miffed at this magic slander

    • @Serpentine8184
      @Serpentine8184 Рік тому +5

      ^

    • @user-sj9gz7pr3l
      @user-sj9gz7pr3l Рік тому +77

      Thousand sons will watch you rip a withered old corpse out of his decaying metal box and say "Rylanor deserves better than you Fulgrim. He deserves better than all of us!"

    • @elgenerico5453
      @elgenerico5453 Рік тому +39

      Space Wolves will see you attempt a desperate, flawed attempt to save your father at the expense of his personal project, then say "That's it! You're all dead, especially your spines!"

    • @tau-5794
      @tau-5794 Рік тому +40

      Thousand Sons will see you burn their books full of daemon sorcery and cry "The savages of Fenris destroy our great tomes of wisdom for no reason!"

    • @magnusthered3692
      @magnusthered3692 Рік тому +4

      😢😂😂😂😂😂😢

  • @emmetcoyne6436
    @emmetcoyne6436 Рік тому +542

    Wizard nerds will see you use the raw power of Wild Magic and say "THAT BARBARIAN IS GOING TO EXPLODE, RUN!!!"

    • @hesperosshamshael2873
      @hesperosshamshael2873 Рік тому +60

      And 100% rightly so

    • @theuncalledfor
      @theuncalledfor Рік тому +32

      And moments later, that barbarian will explode, and they'll be glad they ran.

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 Рік тому +34

      YOU FOOL!!THE EXPLOSION WAS A CALCULATED RISK!!
      Unfortunately,grug bad at math.

    • @theuncalledfor
      @theuncalledfor Рік тому +2

      @@sapateirovalentin348
      Wait, are you a literal Barbarian, as in the character class? How did you manage to explode? Wild Magic Barbarian doesn't _have_ that side effect!

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 Рік тому +17

      @@theuncalledfor a wild magic barbarian on a mix of dubious strength potion and cheap ale *does* have this sort of effect.
      Though personally i think its the ale,it really tasted like goblin piss

  • @josephmoffatt4696
    @josephmoffatt4696 Рік тому +304

    Paladin: “No, I mean my shield is called ‘faith’. Not that literal faith faith is my shield! How would complete trust in something protect me from weapons?!”

    • @hadibendakji3858
      @hadibendakji3858 Рік тому +21

      I'd imagine Sir Becket(The Weekly Roll) saying that.

    • @josephmoffatt4696
      @josephmoffatt4696 Рік тому +3

      @@hadibendakji3858I love that comic!

    • @beastwarsFTW
      @beastwarsFTW Рік тому +36

      Considering shields have holy symbols on them that let you cast protection spells its also "My shield is my faith."

    • @TheArQu
      @TheArQu Рік тому +14

      how do you think he got this shield? By faith

    • @YataTheFifteenth
      @YataTheFifteenth Рік тому +19

      "You think the Gods would actively protect you from a battleaxe to the chest? And I thought I was devout."

  • @mottmatt7844
    @mottmatt7844 Рік тому +181

    Never has "who invited this kid?" received a better timing.

  • @thegarbageman8713
    @thegarbageman8713 Рік тому +81

    Barbarians will see you cast a level 6 spell and say: "UGG MAGIC MAN HAVE NO STRENGTH POINTS"

    • @tristanband4003
      @tristanband4003 Рік тому +2

      More like "MAGIC MAN'S FUNNY WORDS MAKE HEAD HURT"

  • @Verathuum
    @Verathuum Рік тому +64

    Paladins will witness you cast fireball, cooking them in their own armor and declare “your flimsy robes will be your downfall”

  • @lightningkitten
    @lightningkitten Рік тому +40

    Dragons will see you barter and proclaim, "he hasn't the wisdom to hoard!"

  • @joshuafischer684
    @joshuafischer684 Рік тому +118

    Esoterists will see a Novice cast Fireball and say "Alas! He hath not the discipline to study the Ten Thousand Scrolls of Wisdom!"

  • @molliedemayo-td1nq
    @molliedemayo-td1nq Рік тому +35

    Mages will go and say "Armors and steel swords are overused" and then cast the same fireball spell on you 30 times on the span of 5 turns.

  • @georgesears934
    @georgesears934 Рік тому +3021

    Rogues will walk up to a man in broad daylight and stab him so hard he explodes like a blood balloon, and say "The shadows are my ally!"
    Fighters will strike you 50 times without giving you a single chance to fight back, and say "A most honorable duel!"

    • @a.c.1515
      @a.c.1515 Рік тому +226

      Bards will toss their instrument at your head and say "My cunning is inescapable"

    • @guest-1564
      @guest-1564 Рік тому +240

      Monks will drunkenly piledrive a man down a flight of stairs and say, "My ancestors smile upon such an honorable display!"

    • @judeblack4360
      @judeblack4360 Рік тому +165

      @@guest-1564 I mean, if my great-grandson did that to someone, I'd have a good ghost chuckle.

    • @zoro115-s6b
      @zoro115-s6b Рік тому +91

      Wizards will lose a fair duel to an opponent with superior martial skill and say: "He hath given me no chance to striketh back!"

    • @BriarDougherty-jz4ry
      @BriarDougherty-jz4ry Рік тому +8

      LOL that rogue one is good, had to stop myself from laughing because i'm in school.

  • @gravitygames4495
    @gravitygames4495 Рік тому +125

    Hunters will set a trap for a wayward beast and say "Ah! The thrill of the hunt is one of great splendor!"
    Nobles will have dinner served to them on a golden plate and say "I earned this meal thanks to none other than my hapless labor!"

    • @lordpumpkinhead265
      @lordpumpkinhead265 Рік тому +10

      Peasants will look at your thoroughbred horses and say, "Hath he not afford a Carriage?"

  • @g.b.1532
    @g.b.1532 Рік тому +22

    Evil Overlords will hear the screams of their dying victims and say, "They know not what is truly at stake!"

  • @mccabestevenson
    @mccabestevenson 9 місяців тому +8

    Fairy godmothers will bend the fabric of reality itself to wed their goddaughter and say “ ahh ‘twas true love all along”

  • @sentientbottlecap
    @sentientbottlecap Рік тому +65

    Soothsayers will predict the future to the parents of a troubled child only for him to find out and commit genocide on a nearby village and say “How did this happen?”

    • @MR.LMR1996
      @MR.LMR1996 Рік тому +9

      I understood that reference.

    • @bluephoenix7565
      @bluephoenix7565 Рік тому +8

      "But what happened next no one could have foreseen!" *ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT*

    • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933
      @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 Рік тому +18

      If you continue to tread your current path, you will find yourself
      Reading this sentence

    • @ladvargleinad7566
      @ladvargleinad7566 4 місяці тому

      A surprise to be sure.
      But a welcome one.

  • @MajinOthinus
    @MajinOthinus 9 місяців тому +7

    Summoners will have their army of beasts tear you apart and boast, "No man is a match for me in personal combat"

  • @nekomataumbreon
    @nekomataumbreon Рік тому +51

    It's even funnier when the diviner did indeed warn people but they just didn't listen and called them paranoid

  • @May-papa-Nurgle-bless-you
    @May-papa-Nurgle-bless-you 10 місяців тому +7

    Bandits will see you see earn money honorably and say"He has not the balls to steal"

    • @beywheelzhater8930
      @beywheelzhater8930 10 місяців тому +5

      Nobles will see you setting up your bandit post in an old fort and say “My word! He knows not how to purchase land!”

  • @natalie6811
    @natalie6811 Рік тому +271

    Rangers will see you invent weaponry never before seen and say “He knows not how to use a bow!”

    • @CrizzyEyes
      @CrizzyEyes Рік тому +55

      Artificers will lose control of their adamantium golem, thus dooming an entire civilization, because they left a loophole in its programming and say "Eh, there's always next time."

    • @beastwarsFTW
      @beastwarsFTW Рік тому +16

      Artificers will fire a gun inaccurately and then take ten minutes to reload and then say "My weapons are better."

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 Рік тому +31

      ​​​@@beastwarsFTWartificiers will say "black powder is the future of war!" Before promptly losing their arm as a sorcerer cast heat metal on their weapons making it explode.

    • @lordpumpkinhead265
      @lordpumpkinhead265 Рік тому +10

      @@sapateirovalentin348 Sorcerers will see you develop an explosive that can wipe out an entire island then say, "He does not know the power of molten metal."

    • @comet.x
      @comet.x Рік тому +3

      wizards will see an artificer's creation that bends the rules of reality over it's knee with complex enchantments and claim
      'he has not the intellect for spells'

  • @Kina13-4
    @Kina13-4 Рік тому +16

    Monks will see you cry out in sorrow after a tragedy and say "he has strayed from the path of stoic enlightenment!"

    • @thecaelspice
      @thecaelspice Рік тому +4

      Clerics will see you master the body and mind to reach a higher state of being and be like "He hath no Diety! Truly he is a fool"

  • @boodle399
    @boodle399 Рік тому +153

    Most of these feel like memes but the diviner one feels like a legitmately harsh jab at diviners. Like yeah you saw it coming and did nothing, thanks for being a gorlified presonification of hindsight

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 Рік тому +53

      Diviner will predict a great plague and let it ravage the land as it unfold and say "pardon me,but it is foolish endeavor to interfere with fate"

    • @lawfulgoodnun1646
      @lawfulgoodnun1646 Рік тому +10

      Most of the time people just don't believe them 😢

    • @auraguard0212
      @auraguard0212 Рік тому +4

      Diviner in 3.5e: _laughs in +40% chance to dodge the calamity_

    • @xenird
      @xenird 8 місяців тому

      ​@@scorchercast8366tidal wave?

  • @Dogmelter42
    @Dogmelter42 Рік тому +348

    This is why you should never trust healers.

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 Рік тому

      Unless it is MMO type of healer

    • @brandonvelde5774
      @brandonvelde5774 Рік тому +5

      Unless they're combat medics, protect those guys with your lives.

    • @electroeel148
      @electroeel148 Рік тому +9

      @@platinumchromee3191 Especially, if it's a MMO Healer
      "I'm not out of mana, I just don't like you."

    • @baitthewhoosh5739
      @baitthewhoosh5739 11 місяців тому +5

      Especially if they are German and removed a man skeleton before

    • @most_sane_piano_enthusiast
      @most_sane_piano_enthusiast 7 місяців тому

      @@baitthewhoosh5739 W TF2 reference

  • @saturniidspectre
    @saturniidspectre Рік тому +20

    Fighters will see you harness your deep undying rage as pure destructive power as you cleave your foes in twain with your axe and say "He is reckless and his stance is less than ordeal!"

  • @DeusExAngelo
    @DeusExAngelo Рік тому +974

    I have been playing too much TTRPG's because the Sorcerer making a pact with the Devil and not the Warlock threw me off.

    • @DreadAnon
      @DreadAnon  Рік тому +496

      sounds like something you'd need a tome to consult 🤨📸

    • @DeusExAngelo
      @DeusExAngelo Рік тому +267

      @@DreadAnon or else what? You'll throw the book at me?
      Please don't, they are very heavy and I have low AC.

    • @Mordecrox
      @Mordecrox Рік тому +161

      ​@@DeusExAngeloTHAT'S IT
      THAT'S GOING IN THE BOOK

    • @LordVader1094
      @LordVader1094 Рік тому +55

      Man's clearly only played D&D 5E lol

    • @piotrwisniewski70
      @piotrwisniewski70 Рік тому +10

      ​​@@Mordecroxis there something that didn't went to book?

  • @Drana3308
    @Drana3308 Рік тому +21

    Bards will see you jump into a horde of adversaries fighting them off and saving the kingdom and say “Ahh but your name is really hard to pronounce”

  • @francise8698
    @francise8698 Рік тому +12

    Barbarian will drink all night instead and sleep long instead of rising early to train then say "knights are but pampered babies"

  • @Nufetto
    @Nufetto 10 місяців тому +7

    Nobles will see necromancer summon the dead, and they will say "he cannot afford servants"

    • @beywheelzhater8930
      @beywheelzhater8930 10 місяців тому +4

      Necromancers will see nobles mourn the loss of their loved ones and say “They can’t reuse the bodies as cannon fodder!”

  • @helix9445
    @helix9445 Рік тому +4

    oh sure, when a cleric brings a sick child back from the dead it's a "miracle", but when i, a necromancer, resurrect an entire village which died from the plague to do my dark bidding-

  • @0Cazador
    @0Cazador 11 місяців тому +5

    Engineers will watch a majestic dragon soaring through the sky and say "that won't fly, it's mass/wing ratio is all wrong."
    Dragons will witness an army get annihilated by an AC 130 and proclaim "I am an Apex Predator"

  • @Steir12
    @Steir12 Рік тому +6

    Barbarians will watch you summon a meteor shower to vanquish an entire army and say "Meh i bet i could do it too if i could read".

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Рік тому +2

      Mages will see you harness your ferocity to call the spirits of your legendary forefathers to your aid in the midst of battle and say "He ain't but a simpleminded brute"

  • @Glace1221
    @Glace1221 Рік тому +17

    Barbarians will see a fighter tactfully and strategically defeat three men by shooting two of them from afar and using swordsmanship to defeat the last one and say, "HE WEAK."

    • @mofumyon
      @mofumyon 11 місяців тому

      Fighters will watch you cleave an aspidochelon in twain and say "So uncivilized..."

  • @EvilEye501
    @EvilEye501 Рік тому +11

    "Heheheh, and none of you can afford a steed!" -Goblin.

  • @Spyrocrab
    @Spyrocrab Рік тому +7

    Witches will see a mystic seclude himself to contemplate the mysteries of the cosmos, and say “He has not the charisma to find a maiden.”

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Рік тому +5

      Mystics will see a Witch having a wholesome healthy relationship and say "She is a slave to carnal lust and the pleasures of the material plane!"

  • @Kalder44
    @Kalder44 Рік тому +20

    Mages will see you outmaneuver your foes and use the environment in your favor and say "HAH! A simple fireball is beyond his intellect!"
    Warriors will see you turn entire groups of foes to ash and say "He lacks the strength to lift a simple 50KG war-hammer"

  • @mitchellenderson7194
    @mitchellenderson7194 Рік тому +15

    Artificers will see you wield the ancient magical weapon you found in a dungeon and say “Y’know, I could make that in my sleep”.

    • @thecaelspice
      @thecaelspice Рік тому +5

      Knights will see you create the most Advanced and powerful weapon of the Age, capable of obliterating entire armies and be like "That Things Just some Gimmick, A good spear's all you need"

    • @lordpumpkinhead265
      @lordpumpkinhead265 Рік тому +1

      @@thecaelspice Knights are Fudds now? Damn it.

  • @dylanedwards7548
    @dylanedwards7548 Рік тому +15

    My favorite is the lich and Paladin discourse
    It’s so petty and feels like they must have done this shtick hundreds of times

  • @beywheelzhater8930
    @beywheelzhater8930 10 місяців тому +9

    Adventurers will rant about how they should be paid handsomely for their service and yet still go to the blacksmiths demanding weapons and saying “it is for the greater good of the land!”
    Shopkeeps will see you slam down Vorak’s +7 Blade of World’s End and say “best I can do is 32 gold”

  • @TheKingDain
    @TheKingDain Рік тому +5

    "Guardsmen will see the psyker shatter the minds of an entire enemy battalion and say 'Hah, he cannot shoot a lasgun!"

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Рік тому +2

      "Psyckers will see the Guard standing fearless against an advancing Chaos Titan and say "They don't know the true terrors of Chaos like I do"

  • @red_ruby4881
    @red_ruby4881 Рік тому +8

    Occultists will turn into a mass of tentacles, teeth and eyes, cover themselves in mantles and claim "The Abyss obeys my command!"

  • @muntadar1655
    @muntadar1655 Рік тому +9

    0:25 literally kingdom rush sorcerers

  • @unknownentityenthusiast6765
    @unknownentityenthusiast6765 Рік тому +7

    Bards will turn a man’s blade upon his allies and himself with a flick of their wrist and a half-remembered lyric, and say “My magic is the most elegant, and soohisticated in the realms!”

  • @blackdragon5274
    @blackdragon5274 Рік тому +7

    Archers will stealth headshot you from 50 meters away for bonus damage and declare "No foe can match me in single combat!"

  • @aslightlysanescientist3874
    @aslightlysanescientist3874 Рік тому +5

    Peasents will see you not perform back breaking work and say "Tis a lazy bastard he is!"

    • @thecaelspice
      @thecaelspice Рік тому +2

      Lords will Force you to Toil in the Fields for them and be like "The Peasantry are so Dumb and Basic"

  • @boid9761
    @boid9761 Рік тому +105

    Who voiced the witch? That voice is just way more potent than any potion they brew

  • @maninhu9837
    @maninhu9837 Рік тому +18

    As a warlock I have to say, I don't consult tomes, I summon the arms and limbs of an emissary from beyond the cosmos

  • @averyshinyrock9989
    @averyshinyrock9989 Рік тому +9

    The voice acting is outstanding

  • @SignedWithBlood
    @SignedWithBlood Рік тому +245

    Excuse me, I don't pluck childrens' eyes. They need to be scooped out. Everyone knows that.

  • @Joetarius3
    @Joetarius3 Рік тому +5

    Warriors will watch you call upon the divine to smite legions and say “he cannot strike on his own”

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Рік тому +2

      Paladins will massacre a tribe for worshipping a rival god and say "My sword serves justice and my shield protects the weak"

  • @michaelsmith8028
    @michaelsmith8028 Рік тому +53

    Woah! Dreadanon actually knows a female voice actor!

  • @Jmatts21
    @Jmatts21 Рік тому +6

    The “oh hell naw” for the healer really brought it all together

  • @molliedemayo-td1nq
    @molliedemayo-td1nq Рік тому +4

    Paladins will go and see Barbarians piercing through a man's chest with a single punch and say "They are too savage to use something other than their fists"

  • @LeMargot
    @LeMargot Рік тому +4

    “Knights will see you cleave a demonic beast in half with your barehands and say “HE CANT AFFORD A BLADE!””

  • @Kekatronic
    @Kekatronic 9 місяців тому +3

    Necromancers will raise an army of century old skeletons and then wonder how they all got mowed down.
    Heroes will pilfer a dragons great horde, and then haggle a merchant over a potion of lesser mending.

  • @vpaul4374
    @vpaul4374 Рік тому +11

    Alchemists will transmute lead into gold and still sell you potions for double the price

    • @thecaelspice
      @thecaelspice Рік тому +4

      Elementalists will spend 20 Minutes Casting a Single Fireball to kill 4 Goblins and Be like "My Magical Might is Unmatched"

  • @dud3655
    @dud3655 Рік тому +14

    Healer's boutta learn there is such a thing as a man that can't be saved, after having their heart scooped out of their body from behind of course.

    • @toricon8070
      @toricon8070 Рік тому +1

      his deeds indicate that his heart has rotted from within. I suggest a full removal.

    • @lordpumpkinhead265
      @lordpumpkinhead265 Рік тому +2

      Healers will see you turn a man into chunky soup and say, "Do not worry, I will make you better again."

  • @TheOneWayDown
    @TheOneWayDown 11 місяців тому +3

    Artificers will see a conjurer bring forth a great beast to defeat their foes and say "he could not construct the simplest of automatons"

    • @WhatDillionYT
      @WhatDillionYT 10 місяців тому +1

      Conjurers will see a artificer build a automaton of incredible strength and say "He hath not have the courage to fight alongside a beast"

  • @nightsong81
    @nightsong81 Рік тому +135

    Dwarves will see you seduce a comely maiden with a ballad to her beauty in an ancient Elvish dialect and say "He cannae grow a manly beard ta woo a proper lass."
    Knife-ears will see you chop down a forest in a fortnight with naught but Dwarven steel and cry "Noooo! The souls of my honored ancestors slumbered within the trees!"

    • @deadlydingus1138
      @deadlydingus1138 Рік тому +46

      Humans will gaze upon the most unsightly of abominations and say, “I shall ask for its hand in marriage!”

    • @swedneck
      @swedneck Рік тому +23

      ​@@deadlydingus1138 Humans will spot a great furred beast renowned for slaughtering entire villages and say, "awww look at the puppy!"

    • @comet.x
      @comet.x Рік тому

      ​@swedneck Humans will see the great destroyer of worlds, and think 'i really shouldn't stick my dick in there, HOWEVER'

    • @Overlord99762
      @Overlord99762 9 місяців тому +1

      "Past tense, knife ear, witness as I make a fine axe handle from this wood"

    • @Flesh_Wizard
      @Flesh_Wizard 7 місяців тому +2

      Primordial spirits will see a woman and say "wtf is that"

  • @liamdockery8544
    @liamdockery8544 8 місяців тому +1

    Barbarians will say “I NEED NO ARMOUR!” And jump directly into a 1v20, proceeding to receive 17 ultimately fatal flesh wounds

  • @eyesack6845
    @eyesack6845 7 місяців тому +1

    Translocators will see you soar freely above land and sea and yell "He hath not procured enough ley tethers to conjure a portal!"

  • @Thefrogbread
    @Thefrogbread 4 місяці тому +1

    Goblins will see you resting atop a toadstool and say “alas, he has lost his fighting spirit”

  • @Aiden-wg4pu
    @Aiden-wg4pu Рік тому +3

    Everybody else: nooo thats bad you cant do that!🤓
    Necromancer: Must’ve been the wind🗿

  • @17raysplays29
    @17raysplays29 5 місяців тому +1

    Necromancers will turn the corpse of a loved one into a shambling husk to do menial labour, and still ask "For what reason doth the public rue my works?"

  • @LecherousLizard
    @LecherousLizard 9 місяців тому +2

    1:51 Plot twist: The scutum was called "Faith".

  • @julesjacquot597
    @julesjacquot597 Рік тому +2

    Archer will stay a hundred yards away from their ennemies and be like "I'm not afraid to die in battle"

    • @thecaelspice
      @thecaelspice Рік тому +1

      Knights will see you Kill your Opponents from Across a Raging battlefield in the middle of a storm and say "He Hath not the skill to Wield a Sword"

  • @tatzooism
    @tatzooism Рік тому +5

    Necromancers wondering why disease is spreading into towns he visits with his minions. My fellow practicioner in the dark arts, you were the one who raised the ghouls with plague.

  • @shrekatemyonions
    @shrekatemyonions Рік тому +2

    Warlocks will see a sorcerer cast great magics through the power of their very blood and birthright, then conclude they surely must have dealt with a devil to do so

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Рік тому

      Sorcerers will see a warlock summon forth Malar himself to rend the enemies to shreds and say "He has no true magic of his own"

  • @the_apotecary_from_tf2
    @the_apotecary_from_tf2 Рік тому +2

    Elves will see you build the greatest of Empires and say
    "This will fall in a few centuries there is no Need for us to fear"

    • @konnosx1213
      @konnosx1213 Рік тому

      Humans will see you criticise their king for commiting literal genocide on his own peasants and say "You smug knifeear pansies look down on us"

  • @Glace1221
    @Glace1221 Рік тому +2

    Fighters will see a Barbarian plow straight into three bad guys full-force and make them literally fuckin explode and say, "He has no tact and no respect for the martial arts."

  • @lordpumpkinhead265
    @lordpumpkinhead265 Рік тому +3

    Berserkers will run at the enemy screaming, promptly die, get revived after the fight, and go, "We did it team!"

  • @Watchful0ne
    @Watchful0ne 8 місяців тому +2

    Necromancers will literally raise the most evil and wicked people just for the hell of it, then have the audacity to wonder why they are always portrayed as evil.

  • @danmcgladdery1813
    @danmcgladdery1813 Рік тому +1

    A warlock will summon a horrific beast from across the void to protect them, and then say “the priest walks on water because he can’t fucking swim”.

  • @generalbutterscotch4887
    @generalbutterscotch4887 Рік тому +5

    Other slander memes will have nothing but simple text accompanied by a trendy song, forcing you to watch with undivided attention when you could be multitasking literally anything else.

  • @DespicableDave31
    @DespicableDave31 Рік тому +1

    Knights will say “fencing is a delicate art” my brother in the blade you’re wielding a greatsword

  • @malicharton4403
    @malicharton4403 Рік тому +3

    Barbarians will see me discombabulate their friend in a single touch and yell "HE IS TOO WEAK TO WEILD AN AXE"

    • @thecaelspice
      @thecaelspice Рік тому +2

      Weezards'll see yew Punch That Stone Golem They spent 20 Minutes Summin'n into Rubble and Be Like "The Dumb Brute cannot possibly match my spellcraft"

  • @deadlydingus1138
    @deadlydingus1138 Рік тому +3

    Wizards will watch your arrow hit an insect without waking the bear it rests upon and say, “He hath not the intellect for spells.”

  • @TheCr0oked1
    @TheCr0oked1 Рік тому +3

    Witch's be like "the warlocks just a friend don't be so insecure"

  • @Blue14113
    @Blue14113 Рік тому +23

    I mean, funny fantasy tropes aside, the one about diviners is the one that's literally true. It's only after the thousands of deaths do they say," See?! We warned you. We saw this coming. See how awesome our powers are?". Disgusting.

    • @Xahnel
      @Xahnel Рік тому +19

      The real reason seers and diviners are eventually run out of towns: they never stop saying "I told you so"

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 Рік тому +15

      BuT It WaS fAte,THis Is HoW ThINgs wEre MEant tO Be!!🤓

    • @platinumchromee3191
      @platinumchromee3191 Рік тому +1

      ​@@sapateirovalentin348then there is a nameless prisoner breaking reality in half for their own amusement.

    • @lordpumpkinhead265
      @lordpumpkinhead265 Рік тому +10

      "We foresaw the coming plague centuries ahead in advance."
      "WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US?"
      "It is best not to defy fate and alter the course of history."

    • @sapateirovalentin348
      @sapateirovalentin348 Рік тому +1

      @@platinumchromee3191 "how high can i fly with this here bucket?"

  • @GriffinAckiss
    @GriffinAckiss 9 місяців тому +2

    Rangers will see you defeat an attacking pack of wolves and say "he has not the kindness to tame them"

  • @thetruestarking20000
    @thetruestarking20000 9 місяців тому +2

    Pyromancers will say “necromancy is a foul magic and should be outlawed!”
    My brother in Mystra, you dedicated your life to slowly burning people alive!

  • @SusanooMain
    @SusanooMain Рік тому +4

    The “aw hell nah” at the last seconds about healers is fucking top notch.
    Also, holy shit literally me!

  • @jman5949
    @jman5949 Рік тому +3

    Swordsmen will see you dispatch a foe at great distance and fell them unawares with thine bow and scoff "verily their arm is weak and they lack courage".

  • @jogzyg2036
    @jogzyg2036 8 місяців тому +1

    Paladins will smite a foe with their axe for the thousandth time and say "barbarians are such one dimensional fighters you know"