Why is it so hard to stop shopping? 5 reasons you may not think of.
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- #stopshopping #minimalism #savemoney
When I look back at why I loved shopping so much and felt like I couldn't stop even if I wanted to, I realize it went a lot deeper than just buying nice stuff or indulging in my wants. I realized I was addicted to a lot more than just simply shopping itself.
Digging deeper, what is it that you get out of shopping more than the stuff you bought itself?
📸 Instagram / christina.mychas
🛍 Low Buy Beauties Facebook Group bit.ly/2R3AHxC
✨ Support my work on Patreon / styleapotheca1
💸 The Budgeting App I Use bit.ly/35SgX8G
👗 FREE Wardrobe Tracking Spreadsheet bit.ly/3lPJ8eu
My Depop store: depop.com/styleapotheca
My Poshmark closet: posh.mk/In7CDCFiXdb
For business inquires, contact: sarah.smyth@platformmedia.ca
Codes & Discounts (if you want to)🤘🏻
✨MEJURI - save 10% with my link off your next Mejuri piece mejurifinecrew.sjv.io/christinam
🍃ORGANIC BASICS - use code STYLEXOB to save off 10% off your order
bit.ly/3m5Gkul
👜SAMARA - cruelty-free minimalist bags & accessories (female-owned, from Toronto) get 10% off your first order with code STYLEAPOTHECA bit.ly/3kHWibA
🍳OUR PLACE - use code CHRISTINAM10 to save 10% off your first purchase at Our Place bit.ly/3ma7SRq
My Filming Gear 📽
Main Camera amzn.to/3aCpbVo
Main Lens amzn.to/3aInSEn
On-camera Mic amzn.to/3pBasOT
Main Shotgun Mic amzn.to/3poZYSi
Vlog Camera amzn.to/2WMedEw
Small Vlog Mic amzn.to/3aJ1lXS
Main Light amzn.to/3rtj63t
Main Softbox amzn.to/3rDyXN8
External Audio Recorder amzn.to/34FPCpi
FTC: This video is not sponsored. Items marked * are gifted. Some links are affiliate. Affiliate links provide me with a small commission at no added cost to you, and helps support my channel!
ABOUT ME:🌿
I'm Christina, friendly neighbourhood human on the internet slash pharmacist. You may have previously known me as Style Apotheca. I'm living in Toronto, Canada and on my channel you'll find me on my journey towards minimalism, being content with less, recovery from a shopping addiction, and my journey towards financial freedom from over $120,000 in student loan debt. Thank you SO much for watching and taking the time out of your day to support my channel. A little thumb always helps support me! - Навчання та стиль
What do you struggle with when it comes to shopping less or decluttering?
@rowan orre wow - incredibly insightful ❤️ (as usual, Rowan!)
This is a brilliant video and I was nodding along to loads of it! Spending money, oh yes. Exercising choice is great when you’re choosing between two pretty things. And the anticipation is great! As you say, getting the packages is like Christmas, only without having to see family. Win win! And just look at future me with the thing, looking so cool, and younger, prettier, slimmer and less disabled. :/ I even bought shoes I’m too disabled for. And when that parcel arrives, it’s often just another thing to deal with. Occasionally it’s a really good, useful thing that fulfils a function. But not often enough. I don’t pursue brands, but something much dumber - pursuing bargains. Aargh! I’m better than I was, partly thanks to you, but it’s a journey. I’m more aware now that buying the thing means I have to lose something else. Oh, and I have this illusion that buying the thing will make me look really put-together and well-groomed. That is such a myth! Fewer things would help with that!
OMG this is so true thank you for sharing this and so relatable
Here’s a weird one: Does anyone else love or get a thrill from returning things? I used to, sometimes still do!, Love ordering some thing only to find out it doesn’t fit so that I can return it and get some money back. For some reason that can make me feel productive.
One thing I struggle with is finding something I really really love and then I end up buying more of that same item. I found these really great-fitting shorts on Nordstrom's site and ordered 3 or 4 more pairs in different colors. Same thing with tanks and tees from Lululemon or Athleta. Sigh.
This is a very honest post Christina. The "silent brag" and status that comes with owning expensive clothing, bags, shoes, jewelry, etc. is something that most people will not admit and maybe aren't even aware of. But, even if it is subconscious, it is there. I mean, there is absolutely nothing so special about a bag or shoes--no style or quality improvement--that a thousand (or more) dollars will justify. If you want that stuff, it's always about status, not the actual item.
I mean, who would pay full price for a Hermes or Chanel bag if it was missing the label? It's not about the bag, it's about the label... Capitalism at its best. We've all been made fools. (Unless you're dumb enough to pay thousands of dollars thinking a bag's quality is THAT much better... for that price it better be indestructible and magically produce items, like Mary Poppins bag!) LOL.
Completely agree. It’s like some of the status items aren’t for you, they’re simply to be seen by others. I try to “why” myself to death whenever I want to make an unwise luxury purchase & it’s almost always the “silent brag” at the core.
Honestly, the only time a designer bag (there are a million brands out there, so let's not be picky with the labels) would be worth the investment in my opinion is if you know you'll get your money's worth out of it and will actually use it on a daily basis. That's what I kept in mind when I bought my Angela Roi bag a couple years ago; I would never go beyond $200 for a handbag in general. I believe there's a difference, and if you really just don't care for designer brands at all, then more power to you - I just think people should be more mindful if they want to invest in higher quality purchases vs. buying things that have an obnoxious label on them.
@@amyhoover9 good point. I do think Coach bags are designed better than Rosetti bags. They don't fall apart like cheap departmemt store bags. I bought a coach bag and stopped feeling the need to buy purses on a regular basis. I only paid about $150 not thousands.
It is definitely true that some brands are just better quality- Coach, Madewell - but beyond that, the concept is kinda ripping us off. I rented a Chanel 2.55 for two weeks. It was so disappointing. It wasn’t any better than my Coach or Madewell bags, and the only people who noticed it were not people I want to resonate with. It was such an eye opener, I felt yuk. Thank you Christina, and all who have commented, for being generous with the sharing.
You hit a lot of the nails on the head for me with this one. I feel that, overall, shopping (and online shopping specifically) is all about having something to look forward to because you don't *really* have anything else to look forward to in your life. It's the whole future fantasy self, the pseudo-Christmas present that's going to arrive, the "after I get this, *then* I'll be able to start living". Like you (and through you!), I've helped to detangle a lot of my thinking about shopping. Once again, thanks for all you do.
You hit the nail on the head! After my husband left me, I felt I had nothing to look forward to. Shopping filled that gap 6 years ago, and I still struggle.
This is definitely a pattern in my life. I’m hoping that by having more experiences to look forward to I can take time to save up for those experiences and memories rather than just for stuff I might not like or won’t fit in a year
@@theresaegan3129 I completely understand that. You'll get there. Just keep plodding away and you'll get there. :)
This is so true. When my husband was working making a decent wage we traveled,took cruises,went to the theater.etc. Now that he's retired ,we're living on alot less money and can't afford to do those things anymore. So I shop,online,so I do have something to look forward to. Wether it be a new blouse,sweater,or make- up. Doesn't matter what it is,I just feel excited getting something new!
amen. ditto.
I will add some more reasons according to my experience:
1. The feeling that someone will become attractiver und better looking with new clothes, shoes and jwellery.
2. The need to change someones life- someone is not happy with their lives and instead of changing what needs to be change, they change the clothes and outfits.
3. Buying to release stress after someone has been working very hard during the day.
Adding one more
BDD
For me, it is about being seen as a worthy human. As a Black woman, I am not allowed to look basic. I had to look like I could be somebody because of what I was wearing. I remember my husband wearing a suit to the hospital to see me when we had our first child. He did not want me to be ignored and he wanted me cared for. I know my addiction came when I had I became a teacher. I had so many white parents questioning my intellect that I used fashion to distract myself from this abuse. I made it a point to dress well and smell expensive, so that became what people focused on and not the color of my skin. The pandemic has allowed me to reset and I am trying to be true to what I feel good in. Thanks for your honesty and another great video.
❤️❤️
I feel the need to dress and look 'extra' too when I met with parents/staff. As teacher we are under constant scrutiny, for what it's worth I am native living in Germany.
As a young lecturer this is how I've felt for so long a time. People and students may think I'm incapable of the job because of how young I looked so I've drowned myself in buying clothes, hair and perfumes. No matter how much I buy I still am not content, I look forward to the next purchase.
Last year due to the pandemic I didn't buy anything, now that the world is opening up I'm back to the bad habits. At least now I acknowledge that there's a problem and I'll work on it.
I totally understand as a teacher in China. It’s not the main reason for my shopping but it’s another “great excuse” for me to buy stuff
So glad you found a reset. I think one problem with this stategy is that it's not baseless like some of the things she was sharing (looking rich when actually you're making yourself poorer). People who dress well are taken more seriously. Especially black people who dress well by white people. But I too think that is abuse, and the more of us who stand against abuse, the more we liberate ourselfs as well as those before, after, and around us. I struggle more with thin people are taking more seriously, never feeling thin enough.
Online shopping! I love part where I hunt it down - all the while envisioning how it's going to transform my life - tracking the shipment - waiting for the delivery truck/post-person - hauling it into my apartment like a deranged elf from the North Pole... And then I open the box. I take the item out of said box. And realize it will not transform my life the way I had hoped it would. It sits on a counter or shelf. And then I de-clutter it to a friend that loves my taste more than I do. Rinse and repeat...
Rinse aaaaand repeat you’re right!
"like a deranged elf from the north pole" made me laugh so hard out loud
I can relate to this as well.
Amen
A deranged elf from North Pole 🤣🤣😂
Even more than the cute dress, I want the lifestyle portrayed in ads- financial success, beautiful home, luxurious vacation, handsome partner, etc.
So true!! Often times, brands sell us on a lifestyle... but buying Van's won't make us better skaters (lol) just like buying Chanel won't magically place us in a glamourous Parisian town home... We have to build towards the lifestyle we want, rather than 'buy products' towards it.
Buying for the fantasy self is a very common issue & marketers are WELL AWARE of it😑 They prey on that aspect of the self/psyche. We almost all have a bit or a lot of that rolling around in our brains; marketers start driving it in there from a young age😩
@@sweetpeace5 not only marketers. Designers, photographers, sellers - all industries are full of it. But well, we also buy a lifestyle even in grocery store buying this more exprensive cheese because it must be bio and eko and all.
I love to spend money too : ( even to go get groceries and buy a bar of soap, I love the feeling of having money to spend. I hate that I enjoy it so much.
God this was so true it hurt. Why you gotta call me out like that Christina? But seriously, I purchased all these designer shoes and clothes to "silently brag" to others that I have my life together, when in reality, I'm a public school teacher taking home 35 thousand dollars after taxes, over half of which goes to paying my rent, insurances, and credit card bills. I need to learn to be content with who I am.
Hats off to teachers. My husband is one. They work soo hard for sooo little.
At least it's only half
You and I both. I am also a teacher. I teach middle school so the kids are at an age where they recognize trends so they do notice and appreciate my style. HOWEVER, I really don't need to overspend as much as I do....to walk the halls of an elementary school all day! I need to be more realistic. As teachers, we have to remember: these kids will appreciate the impact you have, no matter your outfit! :)
same
I see myself in this and don't like it. I can pinpoint when it started for me. I was thrust into the 9-5 life, friendless, in a one-sided relationship. Every day was monotonous and felt like the movie Groundhog Day. I had nothing to look forward to or work towards. Then, I found that for the low cost of say, $30, I could buy the anticipation. All of a sudden my grey world had some color. But it didn't last long. Nowadays I'm in a much better place and have cut down on frivolous spending immensely. I'm still working through the fallout of having too much stuff and not enough space though. If you need to ignite a drastic change, try moving all of your stuff on a deadline.
Uff yes, that last sentence..very very painful.
For me it was the monotony of many months in lockdown and being on furlough 😑 Groundhog Day-like days seem to encourage our shopping addiction 🤷♀️ I hope I can kick it too!
I think my WHY is: to break the tediousness of my life...it´s like every day is so much like the previous day, that I have to have these outbursts of adrenaline (or dopamine) to break it down...only it´s a vicious circle...
This rings so true. Thank you for being so honest 😍
I feel the same.
This is exactly it for me.
I was brought up by stingy parents who didn’t care about clothes for me unless it met my most basic needs. I never felt like I looked good in my clothes and I could never keep my hair. I shopped to meet my emotional needs from the neglect I suffered. 25 years later, I am now comfortable in my own skin. I am no longer interested in clothes that never looked good on me and my hair is now an easy pixie. Muuuuch better! And, yes, we are debt free. 🥰
My parents weren't stingy but we were broke and when we did shop for me ot was based on my mother's taste. Once I got a job I could buy things I wanted and I always went shopping on payday. 16 years later it's a habit I need to quit.
I totally get this! I came from a family of 8 kids and used to get picked on for being a scruff . Its hard not to want to buy stuff all the time so you feel good about how you look :(
I completely relate to this.
Wow, while I couldn't identify with Christina's reason for her constantly shopping habit, this is me to the T. The emotional neglect thing. Thanks for your comment!
Me too Kristin. I was smartly dressed until I was 12 because I had expensive hand me downs from a relative but when those stopped I had nothing until I started work, not even basics. My parents thought that if I had nice clothes it would give me ideas above my station. Even if I asked for something specific for my birthday or Christmas they said no. I also went mad for years to make up for it and it took me a long time to pay it all off. Now I buy from thrift stores - when your clothes cost pence you don't feel quite so bad about it and a lot of it is the same brands, often new, stuff I got before.
Love this! I decided to start a low buy year this month because my shopping has gotten out of control. I think it all stems from growing up and not being able to buy the things I wanted because my parents never had the money to afford those things. As a result of that, I now have a hard time telling myself no to the things I want.
Me too.
This. I know I'm a year late but this comment hit me. Single mom basically latch key ate dinner at my bf's house. Got panties for Christmas and now I'm like "treat yo self!" but it spiraled and I need to actually learn from my mom since she put me in the best schools and made sure I was capable of leaving home and taking care of myself. She now has a nice nest egg while I'm here catching up with debt like a dummy.
I still struggle with this every day even though I know logically that not only do I not need anything but I really need to once again declutter. It’s maddening. Thanks for these videos, they are definitely helping me.
I really appreciate someone talking about just loving to spend money! I love spending money... I feel driven to "get rid of it", like spending everything I can is some kind of challenge that I'm trying to complete. if I can shop right up to my credit limit I feel like I've succeeded. it's like this sense of relief that it's finally gone and now I have stuff I bought, a "good haul". having the money feels like this uncomfortable pressure that builds up. I don't know what that's about or what to do about it.
I used to feel this way and you articulated it so well. For me, having money made me feel uncomfortable. A moment for me when I realized how dysfunctional this was , was when I'd get my tax refund and get thousands back. It made me anxious to have that much money, and I'd slowly spend it until my bank account was low, then I'd feel relief and "like myself" again. I grew up poor with parents that scrimped and saved, and with the messages that I internalized that money was the root of all evil, and that wealthy people had to do dishonest things to get money. So those beliefs caused me to get rid of that which made me feel unsafe, money. Now I've healed from that, but I'm still dealing with a shopping addiction I'm trying to heal from.
I feel called out 🤣😭 I always shop more when I'm feeling anxious and *productivity* explains it soo well. When I'm feeling out of control or anxious shopping makes me feel like I am in control of something and productive 🤯 but I've never thought of it like that before! This is so helpful with understanding my behavior. Thank you!
I lied to myself too that “stuff” was a flex that I made it instead of actually having a debt free life with savings accounts. Thank you for this serious video. I appreciate it.
I started playing this video, paused, and then ordered a pair of docs, lmao
(They actually were needed tho, AND they were on sale - it just still feels ironic 😭)
Always appreciate your honesty and your authenticity 🥺❤ I'm here for it!!
❤️❤️❤️ always inspired by you, my friend!
I have never relayed so much to a video on this topic before- I swear it was like checking boxes as you listed reasons. Definitely a work in progress to curb my shopping habits. This year, I’ve been writing down every single non essential item (clothes, shoes, jewelry, accessories, etc) I purchase to get a more clear view of my habits and be more aware of the items I have. Regardless how frequently I wear my new purchases though, I always feel slightly guilty for purchasing anything in the first place. Anyone else feel like this?
I struggle with feeling “behind” if I don’t make recent purchases, especially in cosmetics/beauty products. As far as decluttering, I always feel like I might regret getting rid of something. As a result, I have way too much stuff - I almost can’t even see what I have!
Wow can definitely relate! I love how you put that into words. Feeling “behind” nailed it
I was just talking with my mom about this, as I am going through a decluttering journey. I even used lipstick as an example! I noted to her that if I have a 'scarcity' mindset about so many things. I had been struggling with fear of getting rid of a $5 lipstick that I got 8 years ago in college, and haven't worn in 5. I told her I need to shift to an abundance mindset and believe that if I want to wear a similar shade again, I believe I will have the $5 available to go purchase another $5 drug store lipstick. I can thank it for serving me almost a decade ago, and move on to enjoy shades I currently am enjoying daily. I decluttered a few things yesterday that way!
@@rosinamarie that’s awesome! The attachments we have to things can be so deep rooted! Good luck on your declutter…I need to do the same! ❤️
I absolutely HATE shopping in person. I live in a very busy city, so the crowds can become overwhelming. I sought comfort in online shopping because I could shop without the anxiety of others around me. I believe I shop because I genuinely love beautiful things especially clothes, and owning beautiful clothes and items brings joy. I also know I shop to break the routine of my otherwise tedious life. I am constantly seeking a dopamine hit and shopping does it for me, but I’ve put so much financial strain on myself over the years because of it.
I was a very lost adolescent and felt horrible about my body - circa the early 2000's, and I ended up following a bunch of influencers to kind of learn more about how to dress. One thing I absolutely hate - at some point, after gaining some sort of level of clout, they all start dressing in luxury/designer, head-to-toe, and start using phrases like "I bought this because I JUST NEEDED to have it". It's a rhetoric that is rooted in such problematic things.
this level of self-awareness is impressive - I didn't realize that I also see online shopping as "productive" until you said it 😞
"It feels productive" oof wow that hit
It’s the instant adrenal rush for me to purchase something and as soon as I hit the confirm button, I get this “ I need to cancel this” right away feeling. I get the item, try it on, love it and then it sits in my closet.
The feeling of having something to do definitely resonates with me. I know what my interests are but I don’t have the concentration to do stuff outside of work. That fuels shopping and food addiction.
I get immediate buyer's remorse and anxiety when I spend money. I think it stems from growing up poor and not having any, it took me a long time as an adult to let myself enjoy spending. Now I'm easy come easy go, lol and I'm working on that now! There's no happy medium apparently!
Great honest content. Loving this.
I still occasionally buy things I don’t necessarily need, but it’s much better than a few years back. I came to realize that searching for another perfect bag was a substitute for the lifestyle I wanted but was missing: the independent freelancer, carrying their super perfect timeless hard wearing work bag, working from cafes, traveling easily, always looking chic and minimalist. I still find myself browsing for the perfect bag that would give me that life. But I am getting there, baby steps taking me to a really low buy.
One thing I need to mark - I’ve never been in debt and I do have savings.
The silent brag hit me so hard. I think being in the Midwest, in a small town, it’s easy to get annoyed with the stigma of being a “Midwest mom.” I’ve loved fashion my whole life and I love being on trend… but honestly, maybe I’ve just fed a more vapid side to my personality at the cost of paying down debt faster and financial freedom. Thanks for this video. It was the prefect timing for me.
I am at a point where I have been falsely led to believe that minimalism is about quality over quantity, and that entails saving up money to only buy elite luxury items which exude wealth. And I realize how flawed that really is because that is not minimalism at all. Why do I need to buy a Chanel purse when some other more affordable purse already present in my wardrobe can serve the purpose? I'm trying to get out of this elite quality mindset into a mindset of gratitude and being happy with what I have already.
Absolutely!
These reasons, coupled with stores making it as easy as possible to complete the transaction, make it astronomically difficult to stop the shopping habit. I need some new work clothes and I’m being laser specific about what I need and aligning it with my personal style, but I’m still getting tempted by all the options and sales and stuff. I’m sure it’s even worse for someone who hasn’t realized (or doesn’t have the tools to address) their shopping problem.
I have been doing well with my shopping but then started watching u tubes of people with really nice home goods and getting sucked into buying the items. I have since deleted those channels and on back on tract with my shopping habits 👍🏼 Really great video 😁
😊
Damn ... most of this is me, in a nutshell. It sucks to have this as an issue ... addiction, but it's good to know I'm not the only one. I been working on minimalism, stopping shopping. Have not succeeded so far. I just put myself on a 7 month shopping ban. I find that I am mostly bored and lazy. I actually have many other things that I love to do, but had let them all slide into the background so I could just do online shopping. You know ... just keep feeding my addiction. It's challenging. But I'm in this. Not giving up. Progress, not perfection. Thank you for such your honesty. Thank you for sharing your testimony!
This is such a good video. Very real. I have had long periods of no shopping at all (around 6 months of no spending) but once I start spending some money, i get addicted again instantly and place 3 more orders on other websites. And it’s all because of all the reasons you listed. Especially the anticipation. I end up sending everything back….. which seems so pointless and actually bad because every order was shipped to me and back…. Now, after 2 months of shopping endlessly (after 7 months of not spending anything al all except Christmas shopping) I am trying to pull myself together again.
I am having the same struggle. I didn’ts spend money for over a year and I save money from each paycheck. Which kind of made me think it’s okay to buy from summer sales. Shortly, now I cannot seem to stop it. I have sent 90% back what I ordered. Every time I say to myself :” Now I don’t need anything, time to stop buying”… But I still end up browsing online shops and ordering the ”perfect” garment. Now I came back to watch avain this video and found myself feeling anxious. I think it’s time for reality check.
THISSSS!!!! I completely agree with the anticipation-once I stopped buying for a long period, suddenly I become addicted again. However, I’m weaving away from this habit after christmas.
Me too! I have this thing that I go in phases..I stop for a while, then have an indulgent spend, feel guilty, but then I keep spending and can't get my brain out of that obsessive track
Absolutely! Once I start shopping for nonessentials I find that I can easily throw everything out the window. Although I don't have debt I still feel like crap afterwards for using my savings. The pattern is worse in the winter when I'm more sedentary.
This video changed my life. That first point you made about how it feels like you’re being productive, is literally the reason I love spending money as well. It was such a lightbulb moment like the answer I have been searching my whole life for
This list hit me hard. I’m sometimes up until 4 am in the pursuit of things to buy. I have also bought lux items that 2 years ago I wouldn’t have looked at because I saw it on UA-cam. I bought the Toiletry 19 and 26 because of FOMO. I’m going to return the 19 for sure.
Literally start creating, painting, drawing, doodling whatever the simplest the best, no complicated tools...
So important concentrating on the *WHY* behind what you are buying, and not just on *WHAT* you are buying. It really can help sift through the things that you bring into your life that aren't bringing you joy, and target the things that are. Great video Christina! 😊
Your point about feeling a connection with having that shared item really hit me. With my 'bubble' consisting of a preschooler and an infant for the past year, and feeling extremely isolated, I've struggled more with shopping than I ever have, and I didn't realize it until you made that point but a big part of it is feeling that connection to someone else.
Thank you for these insights!
I identify with every one of these. God, the anticipation of a package delivery and then letting it sit. What? Why? Glad I'm not alone. I like nice things but have always hated obvious branding... I liked people to like my style but not my brands. And it still makes me uncomfortable to get compliments on my things. I think a lot of this stemmed from not having a lot growing up. It is still a struggle but I'm growing😊. Thank you for all your honesty
I don't ever leave comments, but I had to for this video...
I just wanted to say thank you SO much for being so unashamedly honest and open with us!
ALL your videos on shopping addiction have really reached me. You are making a huge difference in people's lives, including mine, just by being willing to admit all the things that most people won't. I'm really picky when it comes to self-help, but listening to you feels like listening to a kindred spirit, and wise friend ☺️ I really needed your channel right now. I feel like I've hit an all time low. But you've both made me feel so much better about myself, and motivated me to immediately start making changes! Again, thank you, more than I can say 🤗❤️
She is so honest to her feelings.
all the haul videos we are bombarded with!! we all feel as though we are missing out on the 'Good' Stuff! Sales are another culprit. I am a shopping addict and I am very careful with what I watch and people i surround myself with.
another one I have is when I see I love a piece I tend to buy multiples!! what if I damage the first piece! ultimately I get bored with the whole lot!
Girl you do have your sh*t together now. Keep teach this to your age group and younger. Heck even older females still need to wake up. Thank you for your video!!!!
Age has nothing to do with it.
I definitely relate to loving to spend money. That is probably 50% of my problem. The other 50% is impulsivity, related to chronic/mental illness. I'm actively working to change habits but those two are my biggest spending motivators
I think #4 is the only one for me personally but it is not about retail shopping but about the anticipation of what great finds I may get at the thrift store.
I'm going through a tough time in my life. And instead of figuring it out or going through the emotions, I developed this sudden "hobby" or "want" to buy designer items. It filled that feeling of uneasiness but just temporarily. Now, I have all these items that I regret buying and have to go through the process of selling (because I missed the return period). And I still haven't addressed my issues. The anticipation of the package and feeling of regret/realization really is a problem I still refuse to address. Thanks for this video. It really does put my actions into perspective
Sending good vibes to you 🌟
Yes number 1 is so me! I always feel productive and like I’m getting my life together when I shop 😅
Hi Christina! Just wanna say that I recently payed off my student debt, and that you have been a huge inspiration during that journey! Thanks for that :)
This is so helpful Christina. I’m early 60’s and just finding peace with spending and saving now. How close this is to my experiences is humbling thank you for being so honest. Your videos have really helped me.
This hit hard but true. My days are doing the same thing over and over that they become a blur. Online shopping gives me the “high” I’m looking for but after the high is gone I’m left with the low (the bill for all my online shopping.)
Everything you stated in this video rings so true for me because it is exactly how I feel and act when I purchase something online. I tend to be an impulse buyer so half of the things that come in the mail I don’t really need. I probably have 5 other items similar enough that I could have used first.
I am highly influenced by in favorite Influencers. The cycle has to stop.
Said all that to say thanks for sharing this video. I’m sure it isn’t easy to bare yourself to the world but I appreciate it!
I think it's totally normal and healthy to want to look like your best self to other people, that you want them to think highly of you and admire you in some way. but a smart dude recently told me- what's one thing rich people don't do? try to look like they're rich to other people ;) so yea, I really enjoy looking like I'm creative, fun, interesting, and I do that through my styling. I also genuinely have a passion for styling and putting things together, not just clothing but also interior design etc. but I am also constantly learning to balance that with not overspending and adding new things all the time. after a long period of minimalism and a very small wardrobe and very little possessions in general, I now crave this abundance of things and clothes again, and I'm struggling to find the middle ground. because frankly, being super minimalist was inconvenient and sometimes uncomfortable, when one thing is in the laundry you struggle to dress for the weather that day- that was not sustainable for me and it also took out all the fun of getting dressed and essentially erased one of my hobbies. a tricky balance altogether! thank you for your videos anyways, they do help me remind myself of what's important.
This was so honest and helpful to all of us who struggle with shopping. One viewer mentioned not having anything to look forward to as a reason for overshopping. I think this is a huge factor.
Thank you for your insightful thoughts. I'm sure your video has helped a lot of people.
I've been binge-watching your videos for the past couple of days. And I just wanted to say thank you because it really helped me to reframe my perspective on my own shopping behaviour, my actual wants and needs and how much stress I was causing to myself being a shopaholic as well. I started decluttering my wardrobe and selling the stuff I never wear, with less guilt about the money I lost in the process. And btw, as a male, your videos do not only resonate with a female audience, but have a broader truth to them. Have a lovely day!
it's amazing how two completely different people can arrive to the same lifestyle. seems like we are polar opposites and yet have so much in common. I hate spending money (with passion), I like clothes that do not look like any clothes anyone around me wears, I hate spending time on shopping, I open amazon boxes immediately (with content), and never want my clothes to show any logos or labels (I remove them with little scissors).
Thrift store shopping is my jam. On those days I don't find that deal and walk out with nothing I am very proud of myself. I understand that I am doing it sometimes to fill a void but I am single and I do resell a lot of it. I have found lots of wonderful things and I would like to have more experiences so what I am doing now is taking all of the things I have and be creative with them.
I love your videos. They always inspire me however whatever it is with spending it eventually all comes from my insecurities in childhood, I was surprised to start get ting them finally out while working on my spendaholic issue with a therapist, the nature of liking to overspent is just too deep to deal on my own. I lacked love from my parents when I was a child and expensive clothes (bought with a credit, of course) became like a personal protection - look, I mean something, notice me, I am not that bad, do you see my clothes, Ii'm valuable, see? - that's painfully ridiculous. In my case therapy works much better than I deal with it on my own.
It only come to my sense about the importance of saving in my mid 50s during the pandemic. Never to late to start.
I definitely see myself in this...the desire to be productive, the boredom and anticipation, the love of spending money... I also think I have a scarcity mentality, which, when I try to do "no-buys", leads me to "rebel" and buy more with money I don't have. I'm working on it! I've actually done better with allowing myself a bit of fun money - knowing it's coming every paycheck, oddly, makes me less desirous to shop, because it shortcuts the scarcity mentality in my brain I think.
I’m struggling with the compulsion to spend more after a period of restriction and low buy. I made it 3 weeks into a low buy and then started buying again out of control
@@wrenmackenzie I feel this! Maybe allowing yourself one little treat on a regular schedule will help? Just a suggestion, because it helped me :)
Interesting perspective. I was always the one that looked at that nicely dressed woman and said, “Wow, she’s got it going on!” not really thinking that the reality could be totally different. My mother was a big time shopper and when I got old enough she included me in the weekend trips to the mall too. After I became an adult I realized how much debt she was in. I said I never wanted to be like that but slowly I found my shopping and spending habits creeping up too.
The part that gets me is feeling productive. Depending on what I bought it made me feel as if I was improving my life in some way
The 'commonality' point really stood out to me... now that I'm shopping more mindfully and way less frequently, I feel like I've lost that point of bonding with close friends who do love to shop. We have many other things in common of course, but I sitting quietly when they talk about the sales they've hit and all the items they've purchased. I can't relate anymore, and that's okay but it's an adjustment.
That's why it's really nice to watch videos by creators like yourself that I resonate with and relate to, as well as the community in the comments. Thanks for your refreshing transparency as always. :)
While this was hard to watch (because the truth hurts sometimes) this really helped me dive deeper into the “why”. Thank you for the guidance.
Wow. It’s the first time I truly realised why I can’t stop shopping. You’re so right with everything you’ve said.
I‘m 32 and chronically ill. I can’t work. I can’t work out. I can only socialize once in a while and spent most of my days at home. Over the last years I’ve developed a online shopping addiction. Browsing through the online shops every day became a habit to keep me busy, to feel like I’m doing something productive, to bring some excitement and fun into my boring life, for looking forward for the delivery. It’s kind of a coping mechanism for me, but a bad one. Because I use up my spendings. And I can’t set money aside anymore because I don’t earn anything. So I spend my money on things that I can’t even wear because I’m at home all day and use up my precious savings.
I can’t thank you enough for making me realise all these things. It’s tough. But it’s a chance for change.
This is the most relatable video I’ve ever seen. This is exactly how I feel and I really appreciate you calling these feelings out. I need to hear someone else say that this is how they feel as well, that it’s not just me and that change CAN happen.
Thank you for being so honest about your past shopping habits! For me I was trying to have the perfect wardrobe without first establishing my style. I only shopped 2nd hand but it was still too expensive for my budget. I did not go into debt but after spending all my disposable monthly income I had no money left to go out and actually show the world my wonderful wardrobe! Still it was really an addiction. Now I have spent the last 2 years really defining my own style, I decided on a few colours that flatter me and (try) to stick to it! I still make some shopping mistakes and a few impulse buys but on the whole it is way better and I save a lot more money!!!!
Super interesting! This has sparked many thoughts, too many write here. I don't consider myself addicted to shopping (but sugar...well). I've been minimalist leaning since the mid2000s. While I continued to shop a bit it was only this year that I've realized that if I don't totally love something I will always eventually declutter it. So to save myself from actually decluttering, I just put stuff on my wish lists now. I get some pleasure from building lists and having information organized and stored, so that seems to be enough for me most of the time. My money drain is food because it's temporary, I don't have to store it long term, and it can give me that high we're programmed to look for. My trigger is Carpe Diem, I always think f it, live for the moment. But I regret it later, and as I get older my health isn't as good. We all need to deal with our demons, whatever they may be, because our lives are so much better for it! We are so programmed to consume!
The only thing that has stopped my shopping is not saying "I can't" but the item has to be so amazing that I'll use it for the next 3+ yrs. This makes me overanalyze and put it on a list After awhile I lose my desire to buy it cuz most items are not good enough.
I can never get used to getting packages in the mail. I truly hate it. I love shopping in store and get so sad when stores close and things are only available on line. Thats why I dont spend as much money shopping online. Lol
Welp, this hit home. The silent brag/ looking like I have my sh*t together. Why is it so appealing?
Thanks for the honest video!
Your videos have been so helpful. While I think I’ll always have to be aware of my tendency to shop, it’s lost a LOT of it’s appeal for me. I can easily talk myself out of stuff, and I actually find it boring to shop whether it’s online or in-person. If anything, I find myself wanting to simplify by getting rid of superfluous items. And as I get older, I really have settled into a signature look, and have little interest in chasing the trends. Your advice really helped me to get to this place, so thank you!
I have the opposite problem, I am a bargain hunter and I love flexing about how cheap I was able to find it 😖😖 I never thought of that being one of my motivators to shop. You hit the nail on the head!
I honestly feel depressed deep down to my soul. 😓🥺 so shopping is my outlet, for the sake of just buying something. I hate feeling this way. Great video. Thanks for your honesty.
Thanks Christina - this was sooooooo great, so honest and I think will really impact those still struggling with a shopping addiction. I am a recovered ‘luxe’ shopper, from Cartier to Jaguar, it all used to mean so much to me. Those days are over thankfully, and my simple, minimal, streamlined, non-name brand life has brought me a joy I never knew I could have. Love your videos, keep up the good work! ❤️
Geez, as a substance use counselor AND as a person with a formerly problematic shopping habit, I had never heard someone better describe the act of making a purchase the way you did. Your description REALLY sounds like how someone would describe scoring and the feeling of a drug hitting their bloodstream.
It goes to show that how powerful the dopamine rush from shopping is for some people. I include myself in this, we really NEED to have the safety steps in place to avoid making purchases: avoiding problematic environments, being aware of our moods, being around people who will encourage safe behavior.
This is an eye-opener for me.
I am also a shopping addict. I am going `cold turkey` at the moment, but I will beat this. I did manage to declutter my closets (wardrobes). I will not replace any items for at least a year, hopefully, by then I will be completely free of wanting to buy items.
I really struggle with this issue and if I'm honest I think it's about being desirable and notable in some way. Meanwhile it's so vacuous and superficial - no matter how fly you look, your relationships are not going to hold up without connection and trust and authenticity; everything that shopping is not about. I love being real and honest and I appreciate these qualities in others; so it's surprising to me that I'm stuck in such a shallow cycle. And what is with the self sabotage?
So true!
Okay, I totally just realised that I also love the thrill of anticipation. Does anyone have an amazing tip on what to do to make that stop? 😄
I have 😊 my cure is to get myself excited of the little every day miracles like finishing this one email, getting home after work, putting on summer dress etc
Dear Christina, I would like to say big THANK YOU for sharing with us your minimalist journey. After watching this video, something in me had changed...It's hard to say stop, but all the more liberating. With love Katarina from Czech Republic.
OMG! I see mysefl in everything you’ve just described..
For me shopping is fun, I like the hunt. Somehow I think what I buy will make my life more complete 🙄 but it never does😓
Looking forward to something is huge. I find that the waiting part, looking forward to having the item is what I really like. I think why internet shopping is more popular than retail is there is the delayed gratification, but only in the time it takes to be delivered. Instead of the time it takes for us to save for an item in a shop
The book "30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic" by Harper Daniels taught me some good mindfulness exercises
Wow! Eye opening. I didn’t have luxury buys but the feelings the spending for me is the same then it arriving and the feeling leaves… so relatable
This is so honest and really resonates with me. Hearing you say these things make me realise how sad it is to live like this. Thanks for making me think about how I spend my time.
Seriously, thank you. Your wisdom and willingness to share your story with viewers is having a genuinely positive impact on my life. Wow, #2 hit me hard! You articulated exactly how I feel, what I haven't been able to put into words. I'm reading comments here and feeling connected to so many people - and a little less alone. Love your channel, Christina.
Thanks for this honest video, Christina. It brought home to me that the reason I still browse online shops, even though I buy a lot less these days, is because filling wardrobe gaps gives me a sense of control over my life. When the world seems to spin off its axis and I see chaos in my home and on the news, being able to find a top that goes with those trousers seems to be such a calming, manageable thing to focus on.
I can relate so much it hurts
Not necessarily the item itself but the 'feeling" I am chasing.
I didn't buy luxury items but ended up buying a lot of unnecessary stuff and clothes I never even wore all bec I was chasing that feeling of shopping and checking out stuff online.
And yeah boredom & aimlesss.
Thank you for pointing it out
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability and for sharing your perspective. You really hit the nail on the head with this one. Your comments at every point resonated with me and validated my feelings about shopping. It’s such a weird thing to feel a thrill when placing an order, and the enjoyment of expectation, but at the same time guilt and buyers remorse. Such a jumble of emotions many of us experience. When hunting and searching for items has become a hobby and pastime, that is difficult to break.
Dude. It's all so true.
Oh I really relate myself to the 3. reason. I shop because I have nothing else to do. I’m lazy to find what my passion is. It’s sad.
You get the thumbs up almost immediately for the phrase, "looking for something to want" (!!) But as I listen longer, I just love the way you speak on this. Your reason #2, commonality: years ago when I looked carefully at the feelings behind my spending, it boiled down to connection with others, even though on the surface it sure didn't look like it.
This speaks volumes to me. To know I’m not alone in my shopping addiction helps. Thank you so much.
These videos are great to watch daily to remind me why I’m trying to change. And become a better version of myself. Thank you ❤
this is a really beautiful and honest (vulnerable) insight into influencer + consumerist culture. thank you for sharing!
Loved your honesty on #3. I wasn't an upscale or luxe shopper, however, I turned into one of those horrific "bargain-hunters". A $50.00 top for $6.00. BUY! Even if it didn't quite fit or didn't quite know when or where I would wear it. Such a waste of my time and money makes me want to weep. Maybe I can find a deal on some puffs.
I know you posted this an entire year ago, but I just stumbled on this video after following some of your tips on tees and jeans that would help me build a simple, minimal closet. A lot of the points you brought up with the silent brag and how we see ourselves hit me hard. I'm really glad I was able to relate and I was even dragging out a search for a bag, but guiltily found myself looking towards luxury/high end brands more and more. This video helped me identify the same problems I had myself that I couldn't put into words. Thank you for making the video and continue to do what you do ♥
i can relate to that 9 to 5 burnout thing and being aimless and bored
I feel that we do not trust money as we trust stuff. A stack of money or a card can not make you warm as a sweater for example. Or, having money doesn’t make us feel as beautiful as a beautiful dress does… A lot of us live alone, and we have to be able to gift and surprise ourselves. Shopping can be dangerous, but not as dangerous as alcohol or drugs…
I can totally relate and identify, and appreciate your honesty. It has been very cathartic for me to watch your videos.
Thank you😊
Hello Christina,
I'm going the same way as you and trying to understand why I buy all these things. That's why you are very close to me. A few days ago I came across a book that I read very quickly. It's a book by Charlotte Sommer "Narcissistic mother. How to wrest power from the narcissist, heal old wounds and take control of your new life" . This is a German psychologist and the book is in German. I don't know if it has been translated. But there is certainly literature on this subject in English as well. In relation to our common theme, she had written that being wasteful, shopping addiction and eating problems, especially bullemia, are very strongly related to a narcissistic mother or father. The other extremes such as miserliness, perfectionism, annorexia are also related to the narcissism of the parents. I think that is also the case with me. My parents didn't love me, but they bought me nice things. Now I buy myself or others nice things and I spend far too much. To the point of self-destruction ..... The idea for therapy is relatively simple and difficult at the same time. Redefine old patterns of love. I draw the strength for this redefinition of love: from the home with wrong patterns to the new healthy patterns, from Christianity. I think that the love of Jesus for me and other people, as I read in the New Testament, is the right one. With this I will not need substitutes of love in bought things. With this, I can strengthen my new identity and tell the old shopping-addicted identity that these shopping temptations are not me .... but a slave heritage that I reject. Since I now have a new life in Jesus. I have already achieved a lot, but I am still on the way ...... I wish you all the best!