In today's episode, I expose that old attraction proxy: money. Many men erroneously believe that they need money in order to access women, and that simply having money will attract women to them. Neither of these is true. On the other hand, there are three things that actually do work to attract women -- and none of them cost you a dime. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ua-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/v-deo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ua-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship
Speaking of the pond, back in the 80's when San Francisco had a nice club scene you could clean up being a straight white guy that could dance descent. Not much competition. Find an area where you are desirable. SF would not be that place now. Boston...Denver...
That´s also exactly what happens when you get jacked in the gym. The more jacked you get, the more attention you get from other guys that want to achieve the same goal.
Why don't you just buy a woman amd trust her well. Or if you don't mind black women come here to Africa and I'll hook you up with a really young wife. Or if you prefer Asians you can try Thailand. Any ways women are every where my bro no reason why a cool bro such as yourself should be in such a situation.
Remember Jared the Subway guy? The whole reason he was bonking teenage professionals was because he spent his whole life being completely invisible to women. Then Subway got him some money and was moderately in-shape, and bam--women are suddenly interested in him. I think that realizing this was what made him go rogue; if they're gonna use him, he's gonna use them.
1 - Confidence: fake it until you make it 2 - Ability to engage women's emotions: playful, dangerous, cocky, etc 3 - Contextual alpha: biggest fish in a smaller pond instead of a bigger pond
1 You can't fake confidence if you are not a self destructive fool 2 It is not about emotion but about being lewd and portraying yourself like a right kind of man if you show yourself as boyfriend husband material you wont get sex like if you present yourself as F-boy 3 even in small pond everyone can't be biggest fish
I don't think 1. is solving the issue though... you would just be.. well.. faking it and burring the issue. 2. shouldn't matter to begin with if marriage is the goal. 3. is simply implying that most men will fail anyway.
My experience: 1. Non-chalance do wonders to certain women. 2. Direct approach through casual talk is the best filter to weed out women who are interested or not in you. 3. Having options lined up while approaching women is not wicked but practical approach to the game. 4. Do something that catches their attention. Anything can be a charm.Talent, sports, etc.
IF you attract wimmen with your money and power, you´ll GET wimmen who are attracted to money and power. Wanna marry her???? Think about it for a while.. Rgr
The most important thing for arousing a women is to be good looking, the most important thing for attracting a women is to be confident, and the most important thing for keeping a women is to be wealthy. If a man possesses all three of these things he's essentially Thanos of modern dating.
There is a paradox of having it all. Once your woman have them, she will start looking for something that you don't have. In human psyche, we want what we can't have. The itch won't stop.
Back in High School I was not the guy women just threw themselves at and I learned how to be much more charismatic for it. After school I got a really good job that had me move out of my home town. A few years ago I went back to my high school reunion. I was easily out earning any of my other classmates and I also grew to be 6' 200lbs and all of a sudden the girls from my school now who never paid any attention to me or hardly any now wanted to spend the entire night talking to me. That whole big fish in a small pond does a lot of heavy lifting, that's for dang sure.
I got two handsome guy friends. One makes 6 figures and the other is unemployed. The unemployed one is the one who always gets women but he's very extroverted. My high earning friend is both very shy and not interested in hooking up with the low quality women that make moves on him.
Yeah, this is something I’m finding. I can get laid if I lower my standards. As an established guy with a high income, I keep my standards higher because there’s a lot to lose if I don’t. I think the reality is men who have a lot of women have a lot of time to spend on it. Either they aren’t focused on growing a bigger nest egg for their future selves or they have a nest egg large enough they no longer need to spend a lot of time on it. That’s my theory. The rich men getting women easily are filthy rich and have tons of spare time.
A close friend I know since childhood.... He spent his entire early to mid 20s always broke, switching jobs every few months, no goals, no purpose, sleeping in his car most of the time, and using every cent he earned to party and drink. He dated nothing but highly educated women, making a good income, and with their own apartment/home. These girls knew that he worked construction and didn't make much money, but they didn't care. Several offered him to move in with him. He played so many of these girls it was crazy. They were heavily attracted to his charisma and his game. Since then.. my view on women has been a bit distorted, knowing that nearly every girl you talk to (doesn't matter how smart, mature, or sweet she might be), has been ran through by dudes like that... while at the same time expecting YOU to have all your shit together. Insanity
not insanity. You're a square, playing a square's game. Some women don't like squares, they live in a square world and they desire that which is beyond the wall
@@balu.92as a dude woth a similar situation, I can say this: all over the range. I had quite some lookers, but I resigned, when I got past my 40s and my ensuing health issues (Fibromyalgia and autoimmune rheumatoide arthritis) drarted to outweigh the lowering libido (a bless in disguise) 😂. Women are too much drama. Y'all may bot believe me, but when You're past your peak health, then ypu learn to appreciate peace over everything women can give you, so that being wanted by women becomes worse than being unwanted. Every ex-Chad would agree, I bet. Now I enhoy more lewrning foreign langauges (I soeak to various extent more than 10 already) playing and collecting guitars, anime figurines and good wine and cigars (yes it's bad for your health, but so are women 😂)
Dr I believe your spot on. I've learned over the years that women tend to be single minded they concentrate on one thing at a time. When they first glance at you they've all ready sized you up. So guys I strongly recommend take care of your health and hit the jym you don't have to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger just be fit.
As a lifelong actor/tv news guy, I can confirm the contextual alpha thing. I saw it first in high school theatre. Very few guys wanted to sing and act, but all sorts of girls did. I liked singing and acting and I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get girls simply because I had big (stage) parts. I was later a big fish in a small pond (a minor celebrity in a place with a celebrity shortage) and it worked much the same way. Now none of that led to a stable long term relationship. That takes something different.
Are the allegations true that news anchors eat each other's s*** and cheat on each other? Play, our propagandist who work for the CIA? Your silence = you agree.
That's where I'm at now. It's incredibly easy to meet women for sex. Women who want relationships are insanely picky. It's like they'd rather be alone unless you're a doctor or a lawyer.
@@renaissance17its not that women would rather be alone, They have higher standards for a devotional LTR. For a fun time, those standards (criteria) do not apply.
1. Confidence. 2. Ability to engage her emotions. 3. Be the biggest fish in your pond. That truth is eventually getting laid is less important than having someone committed to you. Who made the famous quote, I don’t pay women for sex; I pay them to leave afterwards. If you find someone that you want to have around you full-time, you found a keeper .
#2 is redundant in my opinion. If you are the AMOG in any pond, a large portion of the women will gravitate to you. They will engage on their own. The concept of a man (logical creatures) trying to play a woman's game (emotional creatures) is a self defeating concept. Might work to get you laid, won't work in the long run.
@@ws-ss8ks I learned the hard way trough experience but there are also women that do not play emotional games, I prefer those. and recently found one I also found attractive. The other ones are just for fun, if thats what you mean by game. If you ask me a good relationship is about working together in the end, not games.
All 3 hard to achieve. 1. Confidence is the easiest one. 2. Ability to engage in emotions: I am personally funny, make some girls laugh but relationships never develop into something meaningful and I feel like many women act as if you are invisible before getting to know you. And if I am not engaged in emotions, I don’t engage in emotions as well. 3. Well, I work a dull 9-5 corporate job due to fu**ed up labour market, have to commute from work and have low energy for extrawork activities, so good luck being biggest fish in small pond. Right now I am a tiny cog in a huge machine. I really need to get my life together and create an work in a field I like and on my own, that would make me feel more motivated and would also help finding a girl.
These are the reasons why meeting women in real life is the ultimate dating hack for average-looking men who struggle on dating apps where it's all looks based. In-person, looks don't matter nearly that much, it's all about how you make her feel.
Yeah, every relationship starts with the idea that we as men are REQUIRED to make them feel safe or happy ... Go on, I need a good laugh before bedtime :D
The day men stop the hype of beauty of women in them and in their minds women will start to face he'll lot optionality problem. Also the modern dating is providing he'll lot optionality, validation, compliments and attention to women in almost negligible effort Even women collectively women and their dating coaches try best so that men keel being simp, sweet and agreeable and women always have optionality Men..... Never listen to females and female dating coaches only ask experienced men and keep Learning.
All research across cultures on human mating reveal that women in general value socio-economic status the most. This is become more true the older the more mature/older the women gets. That social status is what he's referring to hear as being a big fish, even if that means in a small pond. The economic bit, is also highly regarded by women and is often intertwined with high social status. Confidence is a proxy for competence, and the latter is a proxy for high socio-economic status. But women don't know (at least are not conscious of that fact) that confidence is only a proxy. Younger women are more likely to fall for confident men that are actually incompetent.
Easy, when you're at home slow dancing to the music and getting excited just WHIP IT OUT, see her scream, but the cops wouldn't like that, oh well. haha
You should go to a friend that gets A LOT women and read their text messages. Literally can copy their game for in person speech AND text speech cuz I swear they both matter INDEPENDENTLY. ALSO, ask someone that’s OK looking. Not someone that girls lay eyes on and they’re in him. He’s not gonna have the need to speak a certain way like an average looking guy.
Be hot and then cold and distant but at the same time indifferent and funny and make her feel safe. Be dog and a cat and everything in-between. And no matter what you do do no show any weakness. Be playful but don't show investment in her or that you need her. It's both complicated and tiresome imo.
My advice especially for men who are handsome is, use it to your advantage. Too often I see other goodlooking guys acting lame and having low confidence. Your looks will get you through the door, after that it’s all a matter of having swag and a solid mouth piece. Learn how to make women FEEL, this should be a combination of both positive and negative emotions, that’s what keeps women locked in.
this is so true, the money muscles game frame will help you however you can get just as far with a take it or leave it attitude and being your own mental point of origin. when i was strung out and homeless i was running thru women, when i got my life straight and got clean is when the problems with women started. its because i had expectations
Going out isn’t cheap. Paying for two every time you do is even worse. If they’re conventionally hot it’ll cost even more. You try to go out at least once a weekend you’re looking at another car note. There is no downplaying the need for money when it comes to women
lol you take women on dates? 😂 just have a video call and invite them over, if they actually like you and are attracted to you, they'll come over to your place if you HAVE to wine and dine them then they don't really furck with you
lol you take women on dates? 😂 just have a video call and invite them over, if they actually like you and are attracted to you, they'll come over to your place if you HAVE to wine and dine them then they don't really furck with you
Waiting to see if this is an april fool's. So, it wasn't but I'd definitely recommend his video "All men pay : the more she likes you the bigger the discount" instead of this one.
Good "game" for sure is gonna get you laid. I agree with what Orion is saying here. But it's really only in the short term. Long term relationships you don't have to be rich, but you do need to make the money that she expects you to be making or it's over.
Here's the 3 things that will get you laid even if you're broke: 1. 3:33 Psychotic Confidence: Consistent felt experience of success. You never consider that you might not succeed. 2. 4:32 The ability to engage a woman's emotions: Being physically attractive or humorous and playful or mysterious and unpredictable or dangerous and edgy or cocky and bold (capture attention through emotional engagement) 3. 5:36 Contextual Alpha: Better to be the biggest fish in a smaller pond than a bigger fish in a bigger pond who's not the biggest fish in that pond.
I fully agree with this. I am a 50s male with currently no car, catching public transport to work. Yet have dated two women in their 20s and two in their 30s in the past few months. Mainly with confidence and emotional engagement.
@@hellboy0189 I don't sleep with them all, no matter how either young or pretty they might be. If I don't have a good emotional click with them, I stop dating them it just doesn't feel right to me otherwise. That in turn usually comes back to having sufficient different zodiac signs across our astrological birth chart. If not enough different zodiac signs, that usually translates into a boring emotional connection, it is like dating your twin sister. Viva le difference.
Ok, but getting a woman to go out with you, and getting her to stick around are two different things. If all you are after is random sex, then yea... go figure, women are easy to manipulate. Not sure I'd say being able to play a woman so easily is a good thing though, and it is not what guys should be worried about, especially if we are looking at this from a societal point of view. Too many people have lost a sense of value of family and raising one as is.
Essentially, various degrees of Psychopathy Narcissism Machiavellianism Depending on the woman, differental ratios of each to optimize to use them for personal satisfaction. Brilliant.
1. Looks 2.Aura/presence about self 3. Charm 4. Money The less of the top 2 -looks/Aura/ -the more you will have to have the bottom 2-Charm/Money/ -the less of the bottom 2 the more of the top 2 you will have to have
That only apply for the patriarchal part of the world.. In the developed part of the world - women could not care less about your money.. :D Actually even the fact that you could THINK of paying anything for them would disqualify you completely..
@@edheldude Just trying to tell you that women in the free and developed part of the world - is not a "thing" you can buy. Just stay in US, Russia or where you are - and keep paying for your prostitute wifes.. Not going to work out here, where women have educations, human rights and generally are just human beings. ;)
Still they will change their mind on a whim and ghost you/disengage, doesn't matter if you played your cards right up to that moment. Just yesterday I had a girl confessing this very thing. Surprise surprise! Today she said she no longer wants to continue communication. Maybe she revealed the secret too soon? I'll never know.
My perspective confidence even borderline psychotic. The sports analogy was good. I use to play indoor soccer league A grade everytime I stepped out to the game I knew I could score. I thought I was top 3 player in the league. Confidence humor engage in their emotions and look as attractive as possible will help. Dont be a puppy dog and bow down to them either. They all crave masculine men its part of biology.
Incredible, essential insights. “Attraction proxies” helps me understand the problem with “pick me” guy or girl strategies: it’s the indirectness. It would have been positively life-altering for me to have encountered these ideas in a book or curriculum of some sort around ages 12 to 13.
Eh, I mean they kind of go hand in hand. Work ethic and confidence tends to mean you likely can provide for a family (generally speaking). If you have a 'great' personality, but you can't support a family, then you are worthless in regards to a relationship to a woman.
يا زلمة بربي انك زلمة فهمان وكثير ساعدتني😂❤❤❤ I wrote in my arabic slang because I wanted to sound true I wrote: "Man I swear you are so educated and clever and you have helped me a lot" Thank you Dr. Orion, you are awesome and you feel the young people honestly!
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode as my life of failure with women basically had me believing that because I’m average height with a middle class income, that I’m doomed to be alone. I’ve been told I’m not bad looking when I smile but that alone got me laid maybe once every 5 years or so; right now I’m working on a decade! First I love the confidence advice: forget your history! I’ve been plagued by my past for what seems to be eternity. Just be like the hockey goalie and forget the bad goals! I’m actually good at engaging women in conversation and can make them laugh but the man who worries too much about failure will eventually bring it upon himself. I know this as I’ve seen something I’ve said dramatically change a woman’s attitude, snatching failure from the hands of victory. Finally my ability to make people laugh could lead me to the appropriate stage: stand-up comedy. I know some clubs with open mike nights. Next step, “Cast my fate to the wind!”
It depends on the women you're after. In today's world, a woman with options will more likely date a guy with a car and a house than an unemployed one, everything else being equal. Money is not the most relevant factor, but the lifestyle it facilitates does matter. Sure, if you're extraordinary in game or looks you can bypass it; but lifestyle is increasingly important to modern women for a relationship.
As someone who is well into six figs, I think personality and people skills matter more than anything else. Looks and money help, but they’re not what gets you the girl.
It's ultimately about checking off as many boxes as you can. That would be fitness, wealth, some status, charm, and a dozen other markers of success. And that takes time and practice.
Agreed. You don’t NEED money but in our climate today… it’s very difficult to attract or keep a woman without it. Not impossible but difficult. Depending on the woman
I couldn't find a girlfriend when I was poor. I couldn't find a girlfriend when I became rich. However, the problem was never related to hypergamy, not even was it because of lack of attraction. I simply never ran into attractive women who were single and on the dating market. No wealth in the world can change this.
You have to date married women or single baby moms. Sad but true. Good luck in meeting the woman of your dreams. I met the woman of my dreams in a strip club. I was young and foolish and if I had to do it over again I would have said "hell no!" The woman of my dreams turned out to be the nightmare of my dreams. Please don't make my mistake of falling in love with a stripper. They'll break your heart every time.
It has never been easier for a faithful, sincere woman to nail down a great husband. Quite literally any woman sincerely interested in marriage and family can go out and take her pick of the litter. If you are a man in his 40's or 50's, it is accurate to say, 'all the good ones are taken'. You are reduced to dating for for fun (rare with modern women, lol) or waiting for a widow to pop up. No one ever mentions the fact that quality women who are widows don't stay single very long. Sadly, this is all due to lack of supply. Modern society doesn't encourage or support sincere family oriented women.
@@garykeith1048 I'm not into strippers, I like cute, educated and kind women with lots of feminine energy. Never found one on the dating market though.
@@ws-ss8ks In addition, even the good women lose massively on attractiveness. Often it's not their own fault, it's biology, unfortunately. I have difficulty getting attracted to older women, even though I would love to find them attractive.
@@ws-ss8ks Older women say the same thing. All the good ones are taken, when a good one comes on the market he gets his pick of women and doesn,t stay single long. They are both right. The emotionally healthy people find each other and get married early and live happily ever after. Those with issues stay on the market or can't hold onto a mate for long. The only hope is for those with emotional issues to realize they have issues, work on those issues, and find someone else who realizes they have issues and is wiling to work on their issues together. Even harder to find.
Interesting video! However, I believe the dynamics can vary significantly depending on the demographic and economic context. In regions experiencing resource scarcity, where poverty is prevalent, women might naturally gravitate towards men who are financially stable and resourceful. In such circumstances, other attributes like physical attractiveness, personality, or intelligence might become secondary considerations. On the other hand, in more affluent societies with a robust economy and greater individual economic freedom, women might have the luxury to seek a more balanced mix of qualities in a partner. They might place higher value on attributes like good looks, athleticism, talent, and other non-materialistic traits. So, while the three things mentioned in the video might work universally to some extent, the weightage of these factors can shift dramatically based on the socio-economic context. Just my two cents!
You don't necessarily need money to get women but you better have something to compensate, e.g. confidence, humour, intelligence, chaRIZZma, looks, potential, ambition, pipe game, status, etc. And if you don't live up to your potential or ambition she will punish you for it in divorce and child custody court.
People often say that genuine connection and character matter more than money when attracting the right woman, but in reality, it’s a balance. While character is crucial, financial stability can also play a significant role in relationships.
He's right about getting laid more when you're broke. Know why? It's waste of time. I used to spend all of my time at the gym, buying hip apparel & socializing out & about in a big city like NYC. Was always broke at the end of the month, but was often juggling a half dozen ladies that I gamed at bars, clubs, cafes, on the street, in stores, etc I even used to pick up women in traffic LOL Once I started working hard & focusing on my future, women just weren't a priority, anymore
And when you’re focusing on your life/career what follows is the reduction of the drama and entertaining of women at least to piggyback on your comment.
@Blinkyoureyes the 2nd can add so much more dimension and depth to your spiritual self provided you do align yourself to those substrates of life.I’ve been there with the fun and juggling multiple women while excelling in my career for years,after a while the hedonism of it began wearing off when I had more questions in life and began probing.Right now I appreciate a more deeper emotional bond with a focus on the soul , philosophy and future of mine and the other persons life
@Blinkyoureyesno sh*t. Obviously building your kingdom is going to be a lonely road. It's a price that you have to pay off if you want to have a Hedonistic lifestyle without worrying about money.
I believe from my experience that ambition is only attractive in men under the age of 30. It took me a few relationships in my 20's to realize that women will put you on the shot clock and if you're not making enough money in time then it's over for you.
If she's attractive, agreeable, and low body count, you're probably not going to want to leave before she figures out you're faking it. Then before you know it your time is up and you get dumped for the guy that's just like you in every way except he has real money.
Money is a negotiation tool and you cannot negotiate genuine desire. Rollo has been giving us a version of this for years. I got laid plenty when I was broke doing illegal shit.
Unattractive guys think that being wealthy is what gets you women. I know because I've told this to myself. It certainly doesn't hurt but it's not gonna attract women who wouldn't be otherwise. Those that do are sugar babies and gold-diggers and they want the wealth, not the man.
What was the quality of the women? I’m at this place where I’m picky about women I’m willing to engage. I’m finding most are simply low quality and if I wanna get laid, I can, but only if I’m good with not caring about her red flags and chaos. Or simply engaging an obese one
You conflate some things, you being a criminal satisfies the bad boy axis (aka masculinity) which leads to short term relationships. Money is needed to satisfy the other axis (commitment and provisioning).
Lived in a sharehouse some years ago. One was a musician, making money playing in the street. By far the poorest of us and by far the one that attract chicks the most😅😅
@@Magicallstore "music come with feeling and girls like all about feelings, you just need work with feelings, feel strong, feel romantic, feel......" lol not at all, play the guitar and be a dick and you get a load of women. There is no equivalent to get the same level of success without music instrument by being "feely, feely"
@@arofhoof If that truly is the case, then most of those chicks, sound like a chore at best… I personally feel, that one of the biggest problems that men deal with is; chasing after the illusion of chicks easily impressed by the stereotypical fascinations, instead of waiting for a woman who actually has the capability and self-respect to think for her damn self, without bowing to the whims of riches and possessions..
Boss, Start adding in a short end screen so we have time to like the video before it jumps to the next one via autoplay. Love your videos. Thanks, man.
That's true about #2: being able to gauge and sense a woman's emotions. I have had limited success with this myself--and I am a total awkward, socially inept introvert who has never had any friends. I can keep women entertained if they are already into my sense of humor. I can't interest women from out of the blue, though. The times when I can sense what a woman is thinking and act on it is extremely rare.
To the doctor's point, even if you are not all that attractive, you can become attractive in their eyes over time. You won't get that immediate attraction the top percent of guys get, but you will draw them in over time if you follow today's lesson.
Key takeaways: 1. Psychotic Confidence 2. Emotional experience by being - a. Bold and cocky, b. Mysterious and Unpredictable, c. Dangerous and Edgy 3. Contextual Alpha
I was making six figures as a 22 year old and in great shape . Had some financial hardship after health issues . Took the down time to chase women . I got way way waaaaayyyy more women as a broke man than when I had money . It's totally how you carry yourself .
No chick wants some boring finance bro who can buy a Tesla and watches the big game on the weekends. In my experience, it helps to be chasing something other than women or money.
Orion.... I am 63 and would like to hear your pointers for men of this age that want to form relationships to finish the rest of their life... most of what you talk about is for young persons that are forming their first stable relation to have a family etc..etc...but for a lot of us we are at a different stage and need a different point of view as to what we should look for in a relation ..thanks
Honestly this is great advice, and I love that dr. Robert glover also emphasizes emotional tension, but you really, really need to elaborate. Like, do a whole series on how to engage their emotions. I feel pretty confident about most everything else, but I want to nail this one down.
Thank you for sharing your journey. I knew you were an actor. People don’t realize how we study personalities and people all the time. Can’t help it. And congrats for being a stage actor here in NYC That takes guts. The audience might be just friends and their friends and your relatives in a fringe festival theater. And that is quite career change including test prepping.
Men who are insecure for us women are like those women for you men who are putting pressure on you to have a serious relationship or those who threaten to break up if they are not asked to marry you. Nobody likes it, everyone runs away and wants distance. LOL. In other words, we run away from men who are insecure, send us 200 messages a day, non-stop and don't let us breathe. Or that other type of man who loves to mention ALL THE TIME how much money he makes a year or how big his penis is, when no one asked. Confidence, quite important for both sides. Great video, Orion. Cheers.
Darling, don't wanna break your dreams but adding the evolution to the equation I will ask one RHETORICAL question: Will you have confidence if flat-chested/ugly face/poor?
@@GbpsGbps-vn3jy You're right, I don't know what it's like to be very ugly or stupid, much less, what it's like to be with someone who actually has these characteristics, since my boyfriend is the opposite of your description. So, I can feel empathy and put myself in other people's shoes. You're absolutely right! 🙃
@@meliciaoliveira9895 It was a rhetorical question and in fact it's not about your boyfriend (asking about your mental stability, ie emotions != intelligence), but we can construct a simple answer: Ask the members of your social circle(s) if they think you are. But don't ask politely, make some good fun aka do some shitty behavior for a couple of weeks and wait till their true faces show. Definitely you'll be amazed how many truths will be revealed in no time. Three requirements: listen them carefully to not miss anything and be ready to feel the right time to shoot the questions. Third one is NEVER tell them why you did it BEFORE and the last one from the circle pops out too
1. Confidence/ Perceived confidence (Psychotic confidence if you already dont have the social proof) 2. Ability to make her feel emotions, make her laugh, intimidated, make her curious by being mysterious 3. Contextual Alpha- Being the best at something, even in a narrow field
So much truth to this video. I'm not tall, dark or handsome, yet I've spent quality time with attractive women over the years. I never could put my thumb on exactly why I was able to pull this off..but this video pretty much nails it.
@@zanekoh3473A combo of psychotic confidence and emotional engagement. I never worried about approaching a woman because I always thought: "What's the worst that she could possibly say...no? Well then I'm exactly where I'd be if I don't say anything..so there's no harm in trying." Emotional engagement through storytelling. I've had a few rather unusual life experiences and I got quite good at telling women these stories. Not sure why it works, but it does.
It’s important to get financially secured, get a healthy and good looking physic. Don’t do it for women. Don’t also try to be confident and fun to get women. Don't change who you are for women but for yourself. The key thing here is to not try.
This topic will always remind me of a good looking chad friend I had in college who was dirt broke and terrible with money but always had multiple quality women.
I am not sure what part of alpha f*cks/beta bucks is hard to understand. You don't have to be good looking to be Chad. You just have to be the exciting guy in the room.
1. Self confidence - go to psychoterapy or read wise psychological books, 3. Being big fish in small pond became harder because pond got globalised, eg. Tinder, social media etc
Thank you so much man. I had this limiting belief that the reason why I'm not getting women is because I don't have enough money but your video on attraction proxies was helpful. It turns out, I needed more game and I needed to approach women
I'm a woman, and if a guy has too much money I think he's only fixated on himself, ego too big, etc. Just like someone who only spends time on his body. No thanks, give me a guy who takes care of himself, has a good smile and easy nature, is spiritually centered, confident, and cares for others in a way that's natural for him.
Believe it. First date yesterday (girl reached to me months after getting her number btw). I slowly elevated it to a date after a week of texting ( 1 text a day if that…I’m busy) Went for a hike ($0) Went great. Invited her to drinks ($20) She was hungry-we went to dinner & drinks ($60) Guess what…she paid for dinner ($60). Wants to see me again.
I generally break it down into 3 things necessary to get a woman. You can get away with only 1 of these but you'll be limited. 2 of them will net you a much large range. If you have all 3 characteristics then you can get any woman. 1) Wealth and status - Women will see what you can do for them. The more wealth you have the more likely they'll be attracted as wealth can lead to status. And status is like oxygen to many women (besides drama). You can be a multi-millionaire master plumber, but women will still bypass you to get with a famous person whether celebrity or company officer. This is also what he mentions about being an actor and still getting girls. As the lead you have status. 2) Game - aka personality. Sweet talk, fast talk, big talk, this is where the ability to listen and interact come into play. This is more of a long term characteristic. 3) Looks - Yes, a six pack can take you far. But not as far as you think. Many out there are willing to smash a hot guy. However, that's as far as it will go. Women admit to this regularly and will often compete for a hot guy. Now do the combinations. 2 of the 3 will generally give you great results. Looks and status? Money and looks?
1) Status, yes, but not all women appreciate that. It's meaningless to a lot of them, but not all. The women for whom status does mean something show it's an aphrodisiac to them. I've done a lot of public speaking, and afterwards they're swarmed around me. Even being a magician's audience volunteer on stage for his show brings out the chicks. Being an organiser of a group, or group leader also brings them out.
This definitely fits with my experience in my 20s and early 30s as the lead singer of a rock cover band around the bars of a major city. I never was the richest, tallest, best-looking, or coolest guy in a room. Everything physical about me is quite average. But fronting bands made me (maybe) the most charismatic guy in a (small) room for a few hours. And that, on top of being genuinely talented, authentically passionate about the show/music, and friendly/engaging offstage, got me enough female attention to the point where I didn't worry about needing flashy cars, clothes, or other status symbols to feel confident. Great advice!
I think this probably explains why I'm only successful at attracting women if I work with them. In most social settings, I'm very passive (if even present half the time) and introverted. Physically, I'm a pretty meek and nerdy guy. At work, though, I'm the friendly guy who knows everything and is never afraid to help (even when I was a lowly customer support agent), and people are drawn to that. Thank you.
i've also found that to be the case. on the job i get very confident and i know exactly what i'm doing. also i'd spit mad game cause i dont really care what she thinks. then i leave work and i'm like a completely different person
Absolutely! I will add that younger women like poets and artists. Older women start to look for tangible assets. Dr. Taraban, I wish you would expand on the concepts of Game.
Great video! I make the average salary in DC. I am very confident, and carry myself with a certain demeanor so I don't struggle to get women, and get "monthers" (month long monogamous relationships) all the time, but after a few months they leave. However, I have a friend who makes over 200k, but struggles to get women, because he is a fat guy who isn't the most confident. Unfortunately I want a long term relationship now, so the sexual attraction is no longer important to me.
As a musician, I have to agree for a good chunk of my life every single girlfriend I had I met after playing a show and they were usually prettier than any woman I could meet elsewhere. So if sex is all you care about or 6-month relationships it's great. At a certain point though when I fell in love and watched her leave me and marry an old millionaire it became really lonely and for me getting laid is not the cure for that at all. Once again it does come back to money, if I were a rock star I'd have no problem. or less but I am really tired of being the 5 month guy. Especially since they often tell me how they love me etc but money and lifestyle are what counts in the end.
Well it seems you already are aware of it anyway, but men have to be providers for long term to work. We live in a twisted era where it is becoming more acceptable for men and women to both be working despite having kids, and the divorce rates are at record highs, with marriage and birth rates at its worst across the planet. If a man cannot provide, then a man should not marry, and a woman should not marry such a man. It is what it is.
That is great advice and it does work. The difficult part is finding/creating the right pond that would work for you. It's kinda the idea, which passport bros rely on as well (they go from a place where they're an average nobody to a place where they can be an above average somebody).
Yep. Women who have grown up being approached by all sorts of guys are looking to see who you are--like say you're the next one approaching. Having "attraction proxys" thrown at us sends the message you think we can easily be bought. Unless shes a heartless golddigger, thats not gonna work & is actually a turn off. In general women are looking for connection/emotional engagement, personality/intelligence & character to activate attraction & interest in you as a person, & yes i also mean sexual attraction. We are built differently than men in this regard where looks drive attraction in a much stronger way for y'all. I like your shirt, by the way. - April
That proves why men are the problem in dating. So often they reduce a woman to just her looks, then try to pretend “looks don’t matter if you’re a man”. They could not be further from the truth
In today's episode, I expose that old attraction proxy: money. Many men erroneously believe that they need money in order to access women, and that simply having money will attract women to them. Neither of these is true. On the other hand, there are three things that actually do work to attract women -- and none of them cost you a dime.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
20yo men are more attractive than 30yo men…
Trying to be unattractive to women is enlightening- a real eye opener.
@@michaelgarrow3239 As a woman I can say you're wrong. A man's facial features don't fully develop into manhood until he's older.
To be fair, my parent’s basement is really nice
Speaking of the pond, back in the 80's when San Francisco had a nice club scene you could clean up being a straight white guy that could dance descent. Not much competition. Find an area where you are desirable. SF would not be that place now. Boston...Denver...
As a dude with several dope cars, I can confirm that I attract mostly other men who share my passion for cars rather than women who think I'm rich.😂
This is exactly how it works in the motorcycle community as well
That´s also exactly what happens when you get jacked in the gym. The more jacked you get, the more attention you get from other guys that want to achieve the same goal.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My friend owns a ferrari and I own a Superbike (Yamaha r1m) I usually get more chicks than him.
Why don't you just buy a woman amd trust her well. Or if you don't mind black women come here to Africa and I'll hook you up with a really young wife. Or if you prefer Asians you can try Thailand. Any ways women are every where my bro no reason why a cool bro such as yourself should be in such a situation.
If you do not have enough problems of your own get a woman.
I’d rather have a boat
A good woman will want to make your life easier & add positive things. But, yes, unfortunately some are more trouble than they are worth, so to speak.
Remember Jared the Subway guy? The whole reason he was bonking teenage professionals was because he spent his whole life being completely invisible to women. Then Subway got him some money and was moderately in-shape, and bam--women are suddenly interested in him. I think that realizing this was what made him go rogue; if they're gonna use him, he's gonna use them.
Don’t need a 6-pack but a bottle of wine’ll do it!
😂😂😂😅😅😅
1 - Confidence: fake it until you make it
2 - Ability to engage women's emotions: playful, dangerous, cocky, etc
3 - Contextual alpha: biggest fish in a smaller pond instead of a bigger pond
1 You can't fake confidence if you are not a self destructive fool
2 It is not about emotion but about being lewd and portraying yourself like a right kind of man if you show yourself as boyfriend husband material you wont get sex like if you present yourself as F-boy
3 even in small pond everyone can't be biggest fish
“Faking it till you make wont get you anywhere”-nowhere in the video does it state that!
@@deltaxcdlol wow. you sound bitter and mad abiut something
@@PolishBehemoth I don't think so. I just find this stupid and also people who say things like that stupid because it contradicts basic logic
I don't think 1. is solving the issue though... you would just be.. well.. faking it and burring the issue. 2. shouldn't matter to begin with if marriage is the goal. 3. is simply implying that most men will fail anyway.
My experience:
1. Non-chalance do wonders to certain women.
2. Direct approach through casual talk is the best filter to weed out women who are interested or not in you.
3. Having options lined up while approaching women is not wicked but practical approach to the game.
4. Do something that catches their attention. Anything can be a charm.Talent, sports, etc.
#3
Very time consuming too
@@Npc1488-wc1kf And expensive. It's like a 2nd job but you pay for it.
I don't even bother.
Can you expand #2?
"First you get the money, then you get the power then you get the women."
-Tony Montana
And then you get blown away by a hired assassin...
Epic line
That line doesn't make sense because we have literal 19yo broccoli head tik toc eboys getting JBs simping over them!
IF you attract wimmen with your money and power, you´ll GET wimmen who are attracted to money and power. Wanna marry her???? Think about it for a while.. Rgr
@roharatube-- And by then you know longer care about women.
The most important thing for arousing a women is to be good looking, the most important thing for attracting a women is to be confident, and the most important thing for keeping a women is to be wealthy. If a man possesses all three of these things he's essentially Thanos of modern dating.
Donald Trump! Who is thanos?
@@inconnu4961Whoa.. *Not* a Marvel / Avengers fan, eh??
All three pills combined 😎
Until she gets the infinity stones of divorce court and makes half his wealth disappear.
There is a paradox of having it all. Once your woman have them, she will start looking for something that you don't have. In human psyche, we want what we can't have. The itch won't stop.
Back in High School I was not the guy women just threw themselves at and I learned how to be much more charismatic for it. After school I got a really good job that had me move out of my home town. A few years ago I went back to my high school reunion. I was easily out earning any of my other classmates and I also grew to be 6' 200lbs and all of a sudden the girls from my school now who never paid any attention to me or hardly any now wanted to spend the entire night talking to me.
That whole big fish in a small pond does a lot of heavy lifting, that's for dang sure.
Aka "contextual alpha".
I got two handsome guy friends. One makes 6 figures and the other is unemployed. The unemployed one is the one who always gets women but he's very extroverted. My high earning friend is both very shy and not interested in hooking up with the low quality women that make moves on him.
Yeah, this is something I’m finding. I can get laid if I lower my standards. As an established guy with a high income, I keep my standards higher because there’s a lot to lose if I don’t. I think the reality is men who have a lot of women have a lot of time to spend on it. Either they aren’t focused on growing a bigger nest egg for their future selves or they have a nest egg large enough they no longer need to spend a lot of time on it. That’s my theory. The rich men getting women easily are filthy rich and have tons of spare time.
Of course, if someone managed to be unemployed and no worry about money, he is psychologically another level above employed ones
Lots of gross bishes tho
Does the unemployed one pull attractive chicks?
@@balu.92 no, it’s the “not give a fuck” attitude attracts chicks.
A close friend I know since childhood.... He spent his entire early to mid 20s always broke, switching jobs every few months, no goals, no purpose, sleeping in his car most of the time, and using every cent he earned to party and drink. He dated nothing but highly educated women, making a good income, and with their own apartment/home. These girls knew that he worked construction and didn't make much money, but they didn't care. Several offered him to move in with him. He played so many of these girls it was crazy. They were heavily attracted to his charisma and his game. Since then.. my view on women has been a bit distorted, knowing that nearly every girl you talk to (doesn't matter how smart, mature, or sweet she might be), has been ran through by dudes like that... while at the same time expecting YOU to have all your shit together. Insanity
Was the guy scoring girls less attractive or equal or above him?
not insanity. You're a square, playing a square's game. Some women don't like squares, they live in a square world and they desire that which is beyond the wall
@@balu.92as a dude woth a similar situation, I can say this: all over the range. I had quite some lookers, but I resigned, when I got past my 40s and my ensuing health issues (Fibromyalgia and autoimmune rheumatoide arthritis) drarted to outweigh the lowering libido (a bless in disguise) 😂. Women are too much drama. Y'all may bot believe me, but when You're past your peak health, then ypu learn to appreciate peace over everything women can give you, so that being wanted by women becomes worse than being unwanted. Every ex-Chad would agree, I bet.
Now I enhoy more lewrning foreign langauges (I soeak to various extent more than 10 already) playing and collecting guitars, anime figurines and good wine and cigars (yes it's bad for your health, but so are women 😂)
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Dr I believe your spot on. I've learned over the years that women tend to be single minded they concentrate on one thing at a time. When they first glance at you they've all ready sized you up. So guys I strongly recommend take care of your health and hit the jym you don't have to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger just be fit.
As a lifelong actor/tv news guy, I can confirm the contextual alpha thing. I saw it first in high school theatre. Very few guys wanted to sing and act, but all sorts of girls did. I liked singing and acting and I couldn’t believe how easy it was to get girls simply because I had big (stage) parts. I was later a big fish in a small pond (a minor celebrity in a place with a celebrity shortage) and it worked much the same way.
Now none of that led to a stable long term relationship. That takes something different.
So, Champ, when you were in the pond did you do the BREAST STROKE ???? haha
Are the allegations true that news anchors eat each other's s*** and cheat on each other? Play, our propagandist who work for the CIA? Your silence = you agree.
@@douglasrobertson1330(Chuckling to death)
That's where I'm at now. It's incredibly easy to meet women for sex. Women who want relationships are insanely picky. It's like they'd rather be alone unless you're a doctor or a lawyer.
@@renaissance17its not that women would rather be alone,
They have higher standards for a devotional LTR.
For a fun time, those standards (criteria) do not apply.
1. Confidence.
2. Ability to engage her emotions.
3. Be the biggest fish in your pond.
That truth is eventually getting laid is less important than having someone committed to you. Who made the famous quote, I don’t pay women for sex; I pay them to leave afterwards. If you find someone that you want to have around you full-time, you found a keeper .
Not really, many women wanted to have me around all time, does not mean they keepers lol.
#2 is redundant in my opinion. If you are the AMOG in any pond, a large portion of the women will gravitate to you. They will engage on their own. The concept of a man (logical creatures) trying to play a woman's game (emotional creatures) is a self defeating concept. Might work to get you laid, won't work in the long run.
@@ws-ss8ks I learned the hard way trough experience but there are also women that do not play emotional games, I prefer those. and recently found one I also found attractive.
The other ones are just for fun, if thats what you mean by game. If you ask me a good relationship is about working together in the end, not games.
@@53Strat I’d have loved to have found a rational woman but at 58, I see no point to it anymore.
All 3 hard to achieve.
1. Confidence is the easiest one.
2. Ability to engage in emotions: I am personally funny, make some girls laugh but relationships never develop into something meaningful and I feel like many women act as if you are invisible before getting to know you. And if I am not engaged in emotions, I don’t engage in emotions as well.
3. Well, I work a dull 9-5 corporate job due to fu**ed up labour market, have to commute from work and have low energy for extrawork activities, so good luck being biggest fish in small pond. Right now I am a tiny cog in a huge machine.
I really need to get my life together and create an work in a field I like and on my own, that would make me feel more motivated and would also help finding a girl.
These are the reasons why meeting women in real life is the ultimate dating hack for average-looking men who struggle on dating apps where it's all looks based. In-person, looks don't matter nearly that much, it's all about how you make her feel.
“In-person, looks don’t matter nearly that much”. 😂😂😂😂😂 Bluepill simp.
Yeah, every relationship starts with the idea that we as men are REQUIRED to make them feel safe or happy ... Go on, I need a good laugh before bedtime :D
The day men stop the hype of beauty of women in them and in their minds women will start to face he'll lot optionality problem.
Also the modern dating is providing he'll lot optionality, validation, compliments and attention to women in almost negligible effort
Even women collectively women and their dating coaches try best so that men keel being simp, sweet and agreeable and women always have optionality
Men..... Never listen to females and female dating coaches only ask experienced men and keep Learning.
@@GbpsGbps-vn3jy Things are required of both parties in a relationship
somebody gets it
I was broke when I was chasing women. I lost women when I started chasing money.
I highly doubt you lost women over chasing money. And chasing women is a bigger problem than being broke. Stop chasing women
@@marcusmcgraw3519if he was chasing money he probably didn't have time to find women desirable women and then maintain relationships with them.
Lost women??. Don't worry, they will start chasing you... They have a sense of picking men with money
@@Jy-xq2ew yeah they have a sense of meeting sub 8 men at the financial finish line, while they stick with the +8 for free.🤣🤣
Preach.
All research across cultures on human mating reveal that women in general value socio-economic status the most. This is become more true the older the more mature/older the women gets. That social status is what he's referring to hear as being a big fish, even if that means in a small pond. The economic bit, is also highly regarded by women and is often intertwined with high social status. Confidence is a proxy for competence, and the latter is a proxy for high socio-economic status. But women don't know (at least are not conscious of that fact) that confidence is only a proxy. Younger women are more likely to fall for confident men that are actually incompetent.
“How to emotionally engage a woman “ - title of your next video I hope
I agree! I was looking for a comment that mentions this.
Easy, when you're at home slow dancing to the music and getting excited just WHIP IT OUT, see her scream, but the cops wouldn't like that, oh well. haha
Please
You should go to a friend that gets A LOT women and read their text messages. Literally can copy their game for in person speech AND text speech cuz I swear they both matter INDEPENDENTLY. ALSO, ask someone that’s OK looking. Not someone that girls lay eyes on and they’re in him. He’s not gonna have the need to speak a certain way like an average looking guy.
Be hot and then cold and distant but at the same time indifferent and funny and make her feel safe. Be dog and a cat and everything in-between. And no matter what you do do no show any weakness. Be playful but don't show investment in her or that you need her. It's both complicated and tiresome imo.
My advice especially for men who are handsome is, use it to your advantage. Too often I see other goodlooking guys acting lame and having low confidence. Your looks will get you through the door, after that it’s all a matter of having swag and a solid mouth piece. Learn how to make women FEEL, this should be a combination of both positive and negative emotions, that’s what keeps women locked in.
Solid advice. I like this.
How lol 😂 I just can't seem to get the women I like but there are a lot of women who likes me (I already rejected 4...)
What type of negative emotions?
So you want to be a good looking handbag to women? She will be in control, have fun with that bro!
or a resident visa. but how do you tell the difference?
this is so true, the money muscles game frame will help you however you can get just as far with a take it or leave it attitude and being your own mental point of origin.
when i was strung out and homeless i was running thru women, when i got my life straight and got clean is when the problems with women started.
its because i had expectations
Going out isn’t cheap. Paying for two every time you do is even worse. If they’re conventionally hot it’ll cost even more. You try to go out at least once a weekend you’re looking at another car note. There is no downplaying the need for money when it comes to women
lol you take women on dates? 😂
just have a video call and invite them over, if they actually like you and are attracted to you, they'll come over to your place
if you HAVE to wine and dine them then they don't really furck with you
lol you take women on dates? 😂
just have a video call and invite them over, if they actually like you and are attracted to you, they'll come over to your place
if you HAVE to wine and dine them then they don't really furck with you
Waiting to see if this is an april fool's.
So, it wasn't but I'd definitely recommend his video "All men pay : the more she likes you the bigger the discount" instead of this one.
😂😂😂😂😂
😂
Actually top tier comment
Mic drop!
Cope harder
Good "game" for sure is gonna get you laid. I agree with what Orion is saying here. But it's really only in the short term. Long term relationships you don't have to be rich, but you do need to make the money that she expects you to be making or it's over.
Here's the 3 things that will get you laid even if you're broke:
1. 3:33 Psychotic Confidence: Consistent felt experience of success. You never consider that you might not succeed.
2. 4:32 The ability to engage a woman's emotions: Being physically attractive or humorous and playful or mysterious and unpredictable or dangerous and edgy or cocky and bold (capture attention through emotional engagement)
3. 5:36 Contextual Alpha: Better to be the biggest fish in a smaller pond than a bigger fish in a bigger pond who's not the biggest fish in that pond.
Thanks
I fully agree with this. I am a 50s male with currently no car, catching public transport to work. Yet have dated two women in their 20s and two in their 30s in the past few months. Mainly with confidence and emotional engagement.
Thats why you dont have car
@@harrisawan5360😂😂
If you are getting laid with women 20-30 years younger than you, you don’t need a car.
@@hellboy0189 I don't sleep with them all, no matter how either young or pretty they might be. If I don't have a good emotional click with them, I stop dating them it just doesn't feel right to me otherwise. That in turn usually comes back to having sufficient different zodiac signs across our astrological birth chart. If not enough different zodiac signs, that usually translates into a boring emotional connection, it is like dating your twin sister. Viva le difference.
Ok, but getting a woman to go out with you, and getting her to stick around are two different things. If all you are after is random sex, then yea... go figure, women are easy to manipulate. Not sure I'd say being able to play a woman so easily is a good thing though, and it is not what guys should be worried about, especially if we are looking at this from a societal point of view. Too many people have lost a sense of value of family and raising one as is.
Essentially, various degrees of Psychopathy
Narcissism
Machiavellianism
Depending on the woman, differental ratios of each to optimize to use them for personal satisfaction.
Brilliant.
As a married woman I is totally agree with this advice. My husband checked all the boxes, his confidence was absolutely captivating and still is🥰🥰🥰
🤮🤮🤮
1. Looks
2.Aura/presence about self
3. Charm
4. Money
The less of the top 2 -looks/Aura/ -the more you will have to have the bottom 2-Charm/Money/ -the less of the bottom 2 the more of the top 2 you will have to have
To get access you don't , but when long term they change their mind and then you need to.
That only apply for the patriarchal part of the world.. In the developed part of the world - women could not care less about your money.. :D Actually even the fact that you could THINK of paying anything for them would disqualify you completely..
Well that's the trick. Don't try to get long term with woman who gives 'access' to anyone.
Patriarchal only idiot think like that being played by government or law firm as a money making machine.
@@andersnielsen6044 Wth are you talking about? Have you listened to women? They care more about money than ever.
@@edheldude Just trying to tell you that women in the free and developed part of the world - is not a "thing" you can buy. Just stay in US, Russia or where you are - and keep paying for your prostitute wifes.. Not going to work out here, where women have educations, human rights and generally are just human beings. ;)
IF YOU ARE Tall, decent looking, speak well, make her feel good about herself, and laugh. You are more than halfway there.
Still they will change their mind on a whim and ghost you/disengage, doesn't matter if you played your cards right up to that moment. Just yesterday I had a girl confessing this very thing. Surprise surprise! Today she said she no longer wants to continue communication. Maybe she revealed the secret too soon? I'll never know.
And if you are not tall and decent looking?
@@hellboy0189 Then you better be Wealthy.
My perspective confidence even borderline psychotic. The sports analogy was good. I use to play indoor soccer league A grade everytime I stepped out to the game I knew I could score. I thought I was top 3 player in the league. Confidence humor engage in their emotions and look as attractive as possible will help. Dont be a puppy dog and bow down to them either. They all crave masculine men its part of biology.
Incredible, essential insights. “Attraction proxies” helps me understand the problem with “pick me” guy or girl strategies: it’s the indirectness.
It would have been positively life-altering for me to have encountered these ideas in a book or curriculum of some sort around ages 12 to 13.
Money will definitely lots of women but it’s your personality that will keep them around for long term.
Eh, I mean they kind of go hand in hand. Work ethic and confidence tends to mean you likely can provide for a family (generally speaking). If you have a 'great' personality, but you can't support a family, then you are worthless in regards to a relationship to a woman.
يا زلمة بربي انك زلمة فهمان وكثير ساعدتني😂❤❤❤
I wrote in my arabic slang because I wanted to sound true
I wrote: "Man I swear you are so educated and clever and you have helped me a lot"
Thank you Dr. Orion, you are awesome and you feel the young people honestly!
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode as my life of failure with women basically had me believing that because I’m average height with a middle class income, that I’m doomed to be alone. I’ve been told I’m not bad looking when I smile but that alone got me laid maybe once every 5 years or so; right now I’m working on a decade! First I love the confidence advice: forget your history! I’ve been plagued by my past for what seems to be eternity. Just be like the hockey goalie and forget the bad goals! I’m actually good at engaging women in conversation and can make them laugh but the man who worries too much about failure will eventually bring it upon himself. I know this as I’ve seen something I’ve said dramatically change a woman’s attitude, snatching failure from the hands of victory. Finally my ability to make people laugh could lead me to the appropriate stage: stand-up comedy. I know some clubs with open mike nights. Next step, “Cast my fate to the wind!”
It depends on the women you're after. In today's world, a woman with options will more likely date a guy with a car and a house than an unemployed one, everything else being equal. Money is not the most relevant factor, but the lifestyle it facilitates does matter. Sure, if you're extraordinary in game or looks you can bypass it; but lifestyle is increasingly important to modern women for a relationship.
Always was and still is. They marry a lifestyle. They f masculinity.
As someone who is well into six figs, I think personality and people skills matter more than anything else. Looks and money help, but they’re not what gets you the girl.
Greetings, Mr Glitzos. Could you provide an email to exchange information? Thanks in advance.
Agreed. Whether it’s social success or business success, personality and people skills are most essential.
dman thia is harsh. This speaks alot to me.
100%
🧢🧢🧢
Thank Goodness I saw you on SWU - You are helping me so much , A grateful older chick , back on the dating scene . Have a Great Day Doc..
You just explained the inexplicable success of one of my buddies in my youth. We were always amazed by it.
Finally, advice from Orion that is on the money. It was a long time coming, but finally, he gets it right.
I'd love a specific episode on how to engage their emotions
Tease them, make strong eye contact, and keep your big mouth shut. Works like a charm.
Wipe your winky on their curtains...
A classic technique is explaining your traumas to her. Or speaking about some social cause that is very sad. I'd love to watch a specific episode too.
@@mtsdivine No need to hop in the comments fellow keyboard warriors, the man asked Orion for advice.
Be good looking.
Money is a multiplier
When you’re poor you need more game and stress to get women. When you’re rich and well established, women make the game for you. Hypergamy satisfied.
Looks, Muscle, Attitude
Now we need a 3 hour long session on how to emotionally Engadge like a pro
Be fearless, be authentic, don't seek approval, spike her emotions.
It's ultimately about checking off as many boxes as you can. That would be fitness, wealth, some status, charm, and a dozen other markers of success. And that takes time and practice.
We now need a video on how to engage a woman’s emotions
You need Money to Keep women.
(money helps in getting women)
Yea, there is no avoiding the harsh reality of the financial situation. Men HAVE to be providers. There is no getting around this.
yea its almost like you need money to take care of a woman and potential children and their extracurricular activities... no shit
Agreed. You don’t NEED money but in our climate today… it’s very difficult to attract or keep a woman without it. Not impossible but difficult. Depending on the woman
@@hoc1992 ....depending on the man.
@@hoc1992 ...indeed!
I couldn't find a girlfriend when I was poor. I couldn't find a girlfriend when I became rich. However, the problem was never related to hypergamy, not even was it because of lack of attraction. I simply never ran into attractive women who were single and on the dating market. No wealth in the world can change this.
You have to date married women or single baby moms. Sad but true. Good luck in meeting the woman of your dreams. I met the woman of my dreams in a strip club. I was young and foolish and if I had to do it over again I would have said "hell no!" The woman of my dreams turned out to be the nightmare of my dreams. Please don't make my mistake of falling in love with a stripper. They'll break your heart every time.
It has never been easier for a faithful, sincere woman to nail down a great husband. Quite literally any woman sincerely interested in marriage and family can go out and take her pick of the litter. If you are a man in his 40's or 50's, it is accurate to say, 'all the good ones are taken'. You are reduced to dating for for fun (rare with modern women, lol) or waiting for a widow to pop up. No one ever mentions the fact that quality women who are widows don't stay single very long.
Sadly, this is all due to lack of supply. Modern society doesn't encourage or support sincere family oriented women.
@@garykeith1048 I'm not into strippers, I like cute, educated and kind women with lots of feminine energy. Never found one on the dating market though.
@@ws-ss8ks In addition, even the good women lose massively on attractiveness. Often it's not their own fault, it's biology, unfortunately. I have difficulty getting attracted to older women, even though I would love to find them attractive.
@@ws-ss8ks Older women say the same thing. All the good ones are taken, when a good one comes on the market he gets his pick of women and doesn,t stay single long.
They are both right.
The emotionally healthy people find each other and get married early and live happily ever after.
Those with issues stay on the market or can't hold onto a mate for long.
The only hope is for those with emotional issues to realize they have issues, work on those issues, and find someone else who realizes they have issues and is wiling to work on their issues together.
Even harder to find.
Interesting video! However, I believe the dynamics can vary significantly depending on the demographic and economic context. In regions experiencing resource scarcity, where poverty is prevalent, women might naturally gravitate towards men who are financially stable and resourceful. In such circumstances, other attributes like physical attractiveness, personality, or intelligence might become secondary considerations.
On the other hand, in more affluent societies with a robust economy and greater individual economic freedom, women might have the luxury to seek a more balanced mix of qualities in a partner. They might place higher value on attributes like good looks, athleticism, talent, and other non-materialistic traits.
So, while the three things mentioned in the video might work universally to some extent, the weightage of these factors can shift dramatically based on the socio-economic context. Just my two cents!
You don't necessarily need money to get women but you better have something to compensate, e.g. confidence, humour, intelligence, chaRIZZma, looks, potential, ambition, pipe game, status, etc. And if you don't live up to your potential or ambition she will punish you for it in divorce and child custody court.
The final part is essential.
Pipe game ... yes sir it helps
Status if you have status simple you market her to other men with more money. Status doesn't equal money unless you are tradesmen
@@pwilliams4073 you have to settle her mind, body and soul. Otherwise, you will lose her to someone else.
Wait, what? Lmfao. That escalated extremely quickly. For her to "punish you," wouldn't you have to get married first?
People often say that genuine connection and character matter more than money when attracting the right woman, but in reality, it’s a balance. While character is crucial, financial stability can also play a significant role in relationships.
Having money just puts you around different types of women. Who you are decides if you get them or not, tho.
Probably your best straight no BS talk
He's right about getting laid more when you're broke.
Know why?
It's waste of time.
I used to spend all of my time at the gym, buying hip apparel & socializing out & about in a big city like NYC. Was always broke at the end of the month, but was often juggling a half dozen ladies that I gamed at bars, clubs, cafes, on the street, in stores, etc
I even used to pick up women in traffic LOL
Once I started working hard & focusing on my future, women just weren't a priority, anymore
And when you’re focusing on your life/career what follows is the reduction of the drama and entertaining of women at least to piggyback on your comment.
✊🏾. If you're broke, you need to make dating you job to get women.
Same here. It’s best to work for things that last.
@Blinkyoureyes the 2nd can add so much more dimension and depth to your spiritual self provided you do align yourself to those substrates of life.I’ve been there with the fun and juggling multiple women while excelling in my career for years,after a while the hedonism of it began wearing off when I had more questions in life and began probing.Right now I appreciate a more deeper emotional bond with a focus on the soul , philosophy and future of mine and the other persons life
@Blinkyoureyesno sh*t. Obviously building your kingdom is going to be a lonely road. It's a price that you have to pay off if you want to have a Hedonistic lifestyle without worrying about money.
I believe from my experience that ambition is only attractive in men under the age of 30. It took me a few relationships in my 20's to realize that women will put you on the shot clock and if you're not making enough money in time then it's over for you.
Totally agree 💯 that's why if you don't have $ but want to smash and leave - you need to fake it😅
If she's attractive, agreeable, and low body count, you're probably not going to want to leave before she figures out you're faking it. Then before you know it your time is up and you get dumped for the guy that's just like you in every way except he has real money.
Complex topic Simplified and very well put together. This really was helpful. Thank you very much doc 🙏
He's right
Money is a negotiation tool and you cannot negotiate genuine desire. Rollo has been giving us a version of this for years. I got laid plenty when I was broke doing illegal shit.
Unattractive guys think that being wealthy is what gets you women. I know because I've told this to myself. It certainly doesn't hurt but it's not gonna attract women who wouldn't be otherwise. Those that do are sugar babies and gold-diggers and they want the wealth, not the man.
What was the quality of the women? I’m at this place where I’m picky about women I’m willing to engage. I’m finding most are simply low quality and if I wanna get laid, I can, but only if I’m good with not caring about her red flags and chaos. Or simply engaging an obese one
Where would you go to find all these women?
You conflate some things, you being a criminal satisfies the bad boy axis (aka masculinity) which leads to short term relationships. Money is needed to satisfy the other axis (commitment and provisioning).
@@balu.92 In their natural habitat: the streets.
Just started following Dr. Taraban a week ago. This is the first new video I get to watch. 👍
Lived in a sharehouse some years ago. One was a musician, making money playing in the street.
By far the poorest of us and by far the one that attract chicks the most😅😅
Because he lived for something bigger than himself
@@RavenYeah-7 "Because he lived for something bigger than himself"
No, because he was a musician.
music come with feeling and girls like all about feelings, you just need work with feelings, feel strong, feel romantic, feel......
@@Magicallstore "music come with feeling and girls like all about feelings, you just need work with feelings, feel strong, feel romantic, feel......"
lol not at all, play the guitar and be a dick and you get a load of women.
There is no equivalent to get the same level of success without music instrument by being "feely, feely"
@@arofhoof If that truly is the case, then most of those chicks, sound like a chore at best…
I personally feel, that one of the biggest problems that men deal with is; chasing after the illusion of chicks easily impressed by the stereotypical fascinations, instead of waiting for a woman who actually has the capability and self-respect to think for her damn self, without bowing to the whims of riches and possessions..
6:38 Magic: the Gathering?! Wasn't expecting that!
Confident, charismatic, A.M.O.G. Got it.
Boss,
Start adding in a short end screen so we have time to like the video before it jumps to the next one via autoplay.
Love your videos. Thanks, man.
It's not lost on us that this was released on April Fool's Day
Okay this makes so much sense because I read that title and laughed.
That's true about #2: being able to gauge and sense a woman's emotions. I have had limited success with this myself--and I am a total awkward, socially inept introvert who has never had any friends. I can keep women entertained if they are already into my sense of humor. I can't interest women from out of the blue, though. The times when I can sense what a woman is thinking and act on it is extremely rare.
To the doctor's point, even if you are not all that attractive, you can become attractive in their eyes over time. You won't get that immediate attraction the top percent of guys get, but you will draw them in over time if you follow today's lesson.
Platinum award for your structure of argument of persuasion
Key takeaways:
1. Psychotic Confidence
2. Emotional experience by being -
a. Bold and cocky,
b. Mysterious and Unpredictable,
c. Dangerous and Edgy
3. Contextual Alpha
I was making six figures as a 22 year old and in great shape . Had some financial hardship after health issues . Took the down time to chase women . I got way way waaaaayyyy more women as a broke man than when I had money . It's totally how you carry yourself .
New video title:
You don’t NEED money to get women: but it really fking helps
It will hurt more than helps (depending on the guy).
No chick wants some boring finance bro who can buy a Tesla and watches the big game on the weekends.
In my experience, it helps to be chasing something other than women or money.
@@MrFoofarew facts... younger me has helped plenty of chicks cheat on that guy while my turbo Honda Civic hatchback leaked oil on the driveway. 🤣
@@musicmaestro88 daaaamn I got a old ass hatchback too lmao
@@MrFoofarew pahahaha 🚗💨
Orion.... I am 63 and would like to hear your pointers for men of this age that want to form relationships to finish the rest of their life... most of what you talk about is for young persons that are forming their first stable relation to have a family etc..etc...but for a lot of us we are at a different stage and need a different point of view as to what we should look for in a relation ..thanks
Terrific episode, thanks man for summerizing this core concept so well!
Money is for relationship market value and improving logistics, not building attraction.
Stop talking rubbish man... the easiest thing in the World is to fall in love with a rich man
@@dinsel9691 is it easy to fall in love with his money and what it buys her or the actual man himself?🤔
Honestly this is great advice, and I love that dr. Robert glover also emphasizes emotional tension, but you really, really need to elaborate. Like, do a whole series on how to engage their emotions. I feel pretty confident about most everything else, but I want to nail this one down.
Thank you for sharing your journey. I knew you were an actor. People don’t realize how we study personalities and people all the time. Can’t help it. And congrats for being a stage actor here in NYC That takes guts. The audience might be just friends and their friends and your relatives in a fringe festival theater. And that is quite career change including test prepping.
Men who are insecure for us women are like those women for you men who are putting pressure on you to have a serious relationship or those who threaten to break up if they are not asked to marry you. Nobody likes it, everyone runs away and wants distance. LOL.
In other words, we run away from men who are insecure, send us 200 messages a day, non-stop and don't let us breathe. Or that other type of man who loves to mention ALL THE TIME how much money he makes a year or how big his penis is, when no one asked. Confidence, quite important for both sides.
Great video, Orion.
Cheers.
Ding ding ding....you win the 'insecure' word bingo.
🤮🤮🤮
Darling, don't wanna break your dreams but adding the evolution to the equation I will ask one RHETORICAL question:
Will you have confidence if flat-chested/ugly face/poor?
@@GbpsGbps-vn3jy You're right, I don't know what it's like to be very ugly or stupid, much less, what it's like to be with someone who actually has these characteristics, since my boyfriend is the opposite of your description. So, I can feel empathy and put myself in other people's shoes. You're absolutely right! 🙃
@@meliciaoliveira9895 It was a rhetorical question and in fact it's not about your boyfriend (asking about your mental stability, ie emotions != intelligence), but we can construct a simple answer: Ask the members of your social circle(s) if they think you are. But don't ask politely, make some good fun aka do some shitty behavior for a couple of weeks and wait till their true faces show. Definitely you'll be amazed how many truths will be revealed in no time. Three requirements: listen them carefully to not miss anything and be ready to feel the right time to shoot the questions. Third one is NEVER tell them why you did it BEFORE and the last one from the circle pops out too
1. Confidence/ Perceived confidence (Psychotic confidence if you already dont have the social proof)
2. Ability to make her feel emotions, make her laugh, intimidated, make her curious by being mysterious
3. Contextual Alpha- Being the best at something, even in a narrow field
So much truth to this video. I'm not tall, dark or handsome, yet I've spent quality time with attractive women over the years. I never could put my thumb on exactly why I was able to pull this off..but this video pretty much nails it.
Were you able to keep them without money?
Was it emotional engagement that you pulled off?
@@zanekoh3473A combo of psychotic confidence and emotional engagement.
I never worried about approaching a woman because I always thought: "What's the worst that she could possibly say...no? Well then I'm exactly where I'd be if I don't say anything..so there's no harm in trying."
Emotional engagement through storytelling. I've had a few rather unusual life experiences and I got quite good at telling women these stories. Not sure why it works, but it does.
@@aisis5874hahaha, this is the challenge. Keeping them around long-term without $
It’s important to get financially secured, get a healthy and good looking physic. Don’t do it for women. Don’t also try to be confident and fun to get women. Don't change who you are for women but for yourself. The key thing here is to not try.
Not try? Only do? Yoda talk?
This topic will always remind me of a good looking chad friend I had in college who was dirt broke and terrible with money but always had multiple quality women.
Also don't forget college girls are there for fun. Priorities change as they get closer to 30.
I am not sure what part of alpha f*cks/beta bucks is hard to understand. You don't have to be good looking to be Chad. You just have to be the exciting guy in the room.
@@tempestandacomputer6951Who cares about Chad’s leftovers?
@@davesimon8524 Another correct answer, there's hope :D
1. Self confidence - go to psychoterapy or read wise psychological books,
3. Being big fish in small pond became harder because pond got globalised, eg. Tinder, social media etc
You packed a lot of punch into this presentation. Thanks valuable tips!
Thank you so much man. I had this limiting belief that the reason why I'm not getting women is because I don't have enough money but your video on attraction proxies was helpful. It turns out, I needed more game and I needed to approach women
aprils fools ?
@@deltaxcd no
I'm a woman, and if a guy has too much money I think he's only fixated on himself, ego too big, etc. Just like someone who only spends time on his body. No thanks, give me a guy who takes care of himself, has a good smile and easy nature, is spiritually centered, confident, and cares for others in a way that's natural for him.
Please don’t lead with money .. too many guys make that mistake
Believe it.
First date yesterday (girl reached to me months after getting her number btw).
I slowly elevated it to a date after a week of texting ( 1 text a day if that…I’m busy)
Went for a hike ($0)
Went great.
Invited her to drinks ($20)
She was hungry-we went to dinner & drinks ($60)
Guess what…she paid for dinner ($60).
Wants to see me again.
Yes it fits with my experience. I have much confidence then when I was in my 20's and 30's .
I generally break it down into 3 things necessary to get a woman. You can get away with only 1 of these but you'll be limited. 2 of them will net you a much large range. If you have all 3 characteristics then you can get any woman.
1) Wealth and status - Women will see what you can do for them. The more wealth you have the more likely they'll be attracted as wealth can lead to status. And status is like oxygen to many women (besides drama). You can be a multi-millionaire master plumber, but women will still bypass you to get with a famous person whether celebrity or company officer. This is also what he mentions about being an actor and still getting girls. As the lead you have status.
2) Game - aka personality. Sweet talk, fast talk, big talk, this is where the ability to listen and interact come into play. This is more of a long term characteristic.
3) Looks - Yes, a six pack can take you far. But not as far as you think. Many out there are willing to smash a hot guy. However, that's as far as it will go. Women admit to this regularly and will often compete for a hot guy.
Now do the combinations. 2 of the 3 will generally give you great results. Looks and status? Money and looks?
1) Status, yes, but not all women appreciate that. It's meaningless to a lot of them, but not all. The women for whom status does mean something show it's an aphrodisiac to them. I've done a lot of public speaking, and afterwards they're swarmed around me. Even being a magician's audience volunteer on stage for his show brings out the chicks. Being an organiser of a group, or group leader also brings them out.
This definitely fits with my experience in my 20s and early 30s as the lead singer of a rock cover band around the bars of a major city. I never was the richest, tallest, best-looking, or coolest guy in a room. Everything physical about me is quite average. But fronting bands made me (maybe) the most charismatic guy in a (small) room for a few hours. And that, on top of being genuinely talented, authentically passionate about the show/music, and friendly/engaging offstage, got me enough female attention to the point where I didn't worry about needing flashy cars, clothes, or other status symbols to feel confident. Great advice!
I think this probably explains why I'm only successful at attracting women if I work with them. In most social settings, I'm very passive (if even present half the time) and introverted. Physically, I'm a pretty meek and nerdy guy. At work, though, I'm the friendly guy who knows everything and is never afraid to help (even when I was a lowly customer support agent), and people are drawn to that.
Thank you.
i've also found that to be the case. on the job i get very confident and i know exactly what i'm doing. also i'd spit mad game cause i dont really care what she thinks.
then i leave work and i'm like a completely different person
Absolutely! I will add that younger women like poets and artists. Older women start to look for tangible assets. Dr. Taraban, I wish you would expand on the concepts of Game.
Great video!
I make the average salary in DC. I am very confident, and carry myself with a certain demeanor so I don't struggle to get women, and get "monthers" (month long monogamous relationships) all the time, but after a few months they leave.
However, I have a friend who makes over 200k, but struggles to get women, because he is a fat guy who isn't the most confident.
Unfortunately I want a long term relationship now, so the sexual attraction is no longer important to me.
I agree but also confidence comes from having a career, being financially stable, being strong and looking physically as good as possible.
Fellas, just be yourself.
Y'all know we wanna fart at the first date lol
You're dead wrong
We are already are ourselves, what were you thinking? 🤔💭🧐
FINALLY THANKS ORION. BCOZ OF YOU FINALLY I RELAISED THUS THING. OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING FOR NOTHING 😢
I used to have a six pack but had absolutely no luck. Then I upgraded to a keg and I now have unlimited options!!!
Bwahahaha!
This guy is a treasure
Best way to start this month! 😎
Thanks! Pure logical brilliance. Makes so much sense.
As a musician, I have to agree for a good chunk of my life every single girlfriend I had I met after playing a show and they were usually prettier than any woman I could meet elsewhere. So if sex is all you care about or 6-month relationships it's great. At a certain point though when I fell in love and watched her leave me and marry an old millionaire it became really lonely and for me getting laid is not the cure for that at all. Once again it does come back to money, if I were a rock star I'd have no problem. or less but I am really tired of being the 5 month guy. Especially since they often tell me how they love me etc but money and lifestyle are what counts in the end.
Yeah bro. Chase the money if you want to keep women around long-term
try being the o-month guy. It will give you pespective.
"since they often tell me how they love me etc" It must be true then...
Well it seems you already are aware of it anyway, but men have to be providers for long term to work. We live in a twisted era where it is becoming more acceptable for men and women to both be working despite having kids, and the divorce rates are at record highs, with marriage and birth rates at its worst across the planet. If a man cannot provide, then a man should not marry, and a woman should not marry such a man. It is what it is.
That is great advice and it does work. The difficult part is finding/creating the right pond that would work for you. It's kinda the idea, which passport bros rely on as well (they go from a place where they're an average nobody to a place where they can be an above average somebody).
Yep. Women who have grown up being approached by all sorts of guys are looking to see who you are--like say you're the next one approaching. Having "attraction proxys" thrown at us sends the message you think we can easily be bought. Unless shes a heartless golddigger, thats not gonna work & is actually a turn off. In general women are looking for connection/emotional engagement, personality/intelligence & character to activate attraction & interest in you as a person, & yes i also mean sexual attraction. We are built differently than men in this regard where looks drive attraction in a much stronger way for y'all. I like your shirt, by the way. - April
That proves why men are the problem in dating. So often they reduce a woman to just her looks, then try to pretend “looks don’t matter if you’re a man”. They could not be further from the truth
sounds boring. i’ll just pay her to sleep with me. then we can both move on with our lives.
@@mattiaslp9645 Sliding a credit card through a wh*res Vulva sounds boring to me, but to each their own.
Blah blah blah.
What are you trying to say in your first sentence?
1. Confidence
2. Ability to engage a woman's emotion
3. Be a contextual alpha