How to Find (and Live) Your Life's Purpose
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- Опубліковано 13 вер 2024
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Do you lay awake nights with the dread feeling that life is passing you by? It's time to find your gifts and make each day purposeful. In this video I talk about ways Complex PTSD can block you and cause confusion about your life's purpose, with steps you can take to get clearer and stronger, and become the person you are meant to be.
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Thank you for all your inspiration, for giving us all hope and being your authentic courageous self ❤️
Thank you so much!
Amen ! Thank you for being a gift to us all xox
I'm 😭 ly in the same boat at age 51..
@@RoadRunnergarage8570 You are young!!
I’m 44 and I’m right here with ya...no kids, single, trying to find my gifts and talents that are meaningful and in alignment with who I am now...trying not to be scared anymore! Just want to be my normal, powerful self. Keep going everyone! And thx Anna! 💕💕
Me too- I'm 37 single no kids. Trying to find out what my gifts are.
@Nisha glad you're here! This is an awesome goal and when you are scared, there are strategies to try :)
Same age and same situation here. The difference is I know what my purpose is, but I feel blocked
Muay thai(you don't need to fight, but hey, you never know)... Meditation(I've been doing the technique here, seems to be working)... Music(learn an instrument or just some other expressive art from. I've used guitar and it has opened more doors than I ever knew it could)
We will heal and eventually meet the right people we are meant to meet... Reduce alcohol... I finally quit smoking and alcohol this year.
And if you feel triggered... Re- Regulate! Re- Re- Gu- late! Re- Re- Gu- Late! (one of my mantra's) (",) Namaste
45 and I know what my gifts are BUT awful underpaying jobs without healthcare that keep me only surviving and not thriving ALL this zapping my strength, time, energy, and happiness...it’s difficult to follow your passion and talents, gifts in life when you have no one and must do whatever you can to simply survive! Simply lack of a living wage job, lack of money, is keeping things in a prison circle of no end!
In tears watching this! Finally someone understands. I want my hopes and dreams back without being scared of parents.
This is our year friend, let's see our dreams become our realities 🙌💫💚🙏🌟
You are in the right place sweetie. All the broken winged angels are here healing along with you.
@@littlecupcakespuppies that is a beautiful thing to say. Tears.
WOW! Look at the responses here! Such an amazing community! This is what has helped me sooooo much with that fear you speak of
courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
God bless you 😉
I don't know what has happened in the last few months, Childhood Fairy, but you have met your stride. You seem so relaxed, confident and comfortable giving your message and it is coming from your heart! Congratulations!
I completely second this ♥️ So beautiful. To refer to the gifts spoken about in this video, it definitely feels that she is deeply being in tune with a beautiful gift of hers - sharing it with us all.
Edit: I commented too soon. She herself says this at 10:50 in this video :)
I totally agree! : )
Oh thank you!
Yes, but the older videos are still PURE GOLD!
My "perfect" (sterile, terrified, spendy avoidant, status-conscious, rat-racy) life exploded and left me crawling away from the wreckage. And I was able to confirm something that I had always suspected: our gifts require broken soil and the organic matter of blood, sweat, tears, suffering, and fellowship with other sufferers to grow and flourish. Suffering is a doorway to connection with common humanity -- maybe not the only one, but a pretty good one.
There is a saying, "pain is the touchstone to spiritual growth" that your comment reminds me of...it's one of my favorites because it brings a sense of purpose & triumph re: overcoming hardships
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you for that Cara, here's another, from Kahlil Gibran: "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."
Don't for get that great organic fertilizer Crap!
If your narcissistic family members are anything like mine were, you can't start exploring your gift(s) until you get far, FAR away from them. Exposing your search for meaning and self-empowerment to that kind of energy - at any age - is soul-killing. I unfortunately learned this the hard way. My childhood was crappy, but my 30's were just as traumatic.
Great video, though! The "gift" concept is a good and important one.
It's true, exploring our gifts is usually not possible when we are dysregulated and/or around abusive people. I'm hoping you are feeling safe enough now to focus on your healing and gifts :)
What hit me were your comments around 9:43 about fulfilled people. They do not expect others to help them feel better about themselves. Especially powerful during this severe lockdown (1.5 yrs already) when one lives alone, single, no kids, very fragile or shallow bonds with surviving family members, and friends come and go. Thanks & best wishes
Appreciate your comments!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Normal reaction to abnormal circumstances...
Not at fault❤
:)
Tracy's letter is very well-written, & her charming & surprising "bag of cats" phrase makes me wonder if perhaps there's a writer inside??
Best wishes to you, Tracy...may you be always blessed...& enjoy your journey of self-discovery!
😊🌿🌷🌿🤗🌿🌷🌿😘
"Bag of cats" is a quote from Avengers (about Loki).
@@katmarsh7518 never heard of that. It's an Irish phrase
@@little_tish8452 Is it? LOL, maybe that' where they got it from then.
Great point!
Please don't put Cats in a bag. Please try to find different sayings than the ones that talk about dead Animals. They're just so revolting.
41 and need to get out of this dark place. Life is definitely passing me by. Therapy, I fear, is just retraumatizing me & sending me into a depression spiral. Life purpose is a complete blank spot for me. The scapegoat role is where I'm stuck despite both parents being deceased & having gone no contact for years with my aHole sister. Time to find a new approach to healing & perhaps it starts with finding my gift. Therapy is killing me. (Not the Tracy in the video)
Hello Tracy, i feel for you.... like many of us here. I am a 48 year old women from Europe, left my country and this helped me to regard and understand my family of origin with more distance. Although i hardly ever see them the scapegoat is also imprinted in me and moeten struggling to be a " good enough " mother for my 2 sons. Exactely i wanted to give you hope. Cause i came a long long way but Thanx to this channel and others ( amongst them Lisa Romano and Jerry Wise, i am now , and only now living, not surviving anymore. I even started new studies, hoping to be a horse coach, and helping people like this. It is a long and often loneley road but you will get there, take care. Love from France
Sending my encouragement to persevere in finding your purpose and your happiness!
I never found a therapist who helped, and had a couple who really contributed to my pain. I am trying to be my own therapist now. Fiction writing (making metaphors of my experiences and processing/healing them in story-form), reading loads of books, and exploring my spirituality have all helped me immensely -- but these are private endeavors and I tell almost NO ONE about them. Not sure if it's a scapegoat/weak boundary thing, but people tend to tell me who I "am" and what I think/feel/believe, without listening to or taking me seriously, leaving me with no space to develop myself or learn to trust my desires, wisdom, or natural impulses. This has included therapists. Your experiences are personal and your healing will have to be tailored just the same. Believe it or not (I know I've struggled with this), you know yourself best. You know what you need to heal. The rest of the world has no clue what goes on in your head or heart. Therapy isn't a cure-all for everyone.
Cavalier hello, you gave me a great idéal! Though i already journalised about my childhood experiences, i never thought about writing these expériences in any form of fiction and i started with it yesterday. I find this very forfilling and i think i have not finished soon. . . It is a heartbreaking story but it s mine and it feels good to write it out like that. So thank you
@@tonygoncalves2928 Yay! Glad a could help!
You've reached a dark place in me and now I have hope again.
From every chamber in my broken little heart .......THANK YOU ANNA
~Dan
You're welcome 😊
Me again....but nearing 80....lots of life...lived for others....not much left IF any...plus ...now I want to live for my grandchild, so i'm last again....main focus is for her.......safety.......etc....
As a 19 year old that currently doesn’t have any living grandparents and isn’t necessarily too close to family members, I want to express that there is absolutely nothing like the love and care of a grandparent. Don’t diminish yourself and your impact, love is the most important thing of all, and your grandchild will definitely remember the care and attention you gave them. I’ll never forget my grandma fearlessly defending me from my parents and hugging me and making me feel cared for. Nothing like that love. Josephine, never give up on yourself because you were put on this Earth to be you. Wishing you peace, love, blessings and continued healing 💕
@Josehpine I have to agree with Joseph - your love and concern as a grandparent should not be diminished, reflecting love is worthwhile work. But if you are craving more, there is definley more there for you :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@Joey-ki7zr With 'tears' in my eyes.. I THANK YOU !! The battle is mine, I take it up 'gladly' ..to secure a child's life of knowing 'she is not' at fault for the uncaring actions of the adult's who raise her, nor for her 1/2 siblings who 'enjoy' using/bulling her ...
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you 'once' again... ( could not eat/talk all day friday after son is stopping her now, from sleeping over...Why ?? because she called me 'mom' and I said it was OK..brushing it off as a slip of the tongue for her, not wanting to make her feel bad for something so minor. )
I've been told many times that I have a gift for getting people to try something they really wanted to do but were terrified to do it, and making them feel so good while doing it... I've also been told many times that I make people feel very welcome n comfortable... I get told all the time that people find it so weird cuz it usually takes them a long time to feel completely comfortable n relaxed with someone, n how amazed they are because they feel that way with me so quickly n completely... n I have always noticed I seem to have one of those faces n dispositions that makes people just spill their guts out to me within 5 minutes of meeting me, like they just can't help it... idk what I can do really tho with any of that as far as a purpose... if anyone has any ideas, please comment cuz I'd LOVE to hear them!!!
This is such a great example of how the signs show up. What you can do is, hold in your mind the possibility that when you do these things, your gift becomes active. It seems to have something to do with encouragement, hospitality, and/or comforting people. You probably have experience feeling great when you do these things, and perhaps also (at times) feeling overwhelmed, taken for granted, unsure when you do these things. That's all OK. The gift has a life of it's own, and can be honed by trial and error. The next step is to intentionally try things that *could* be a way to use your gifts, as well as to find peers and eventually a mentor who can help you along the way.
Anna, you always say The Very Thing. I usually start crying at the VERY BEGINNING of your videos, and this is one of those.
Thank you to those here who share-- You're not alone! It's amazing how similar our stories are. Obvious on some level since we're all meeting here, on this channel, but still, I think it's important to keep saying YOU'RE NOT ALONE! We're not alone. I am not alone.
Beautiful post. Thank you so much for being here and for encouraging others.
Thank you so much for expressing the idea I've always felt is true: that a job is to afford rent and food, the gift may be used in a job but not necessarily. My job is not well paid and I don't use my potential there. My family is very critical about it. But it's stable and the atmosphere is great. My colleagues come to me and talk about their life problems. I love it. I love listening and helping them. I also feel "on fire" when I teach grammar to children, one on one. When they begin to understand, I'm fulfilled. When I was a child I wanted to be happy, too. The thing I loved was making desserts. My mother disapproved. But I still love it. Later I wanted to be a wife. To take care of my partner, my home and bake desserts for everyone. I don't know if it classifies as a gift, but I always return to that.
Beautiful. Yes.
I loved reading your share about your life and journey. I admire and hope to be in the place you are someday - a positive, stable work environment that supports me materially and where I have positive relationships with others. I loved hearing you talk about the things you love doing that feel like your gifts, and aren’t about making money. I feel like I have many gifts too and haven’t found a stable income and work environment for myself yet. I know as I heal the CPTSD that I’ll be able to have more clarity and ability to find and stay in a good place. Thank you for sharing your journey, it just had a positive impact on me and I felt like sharing that with you :).
@@suzannemikula Thank you! 🥰
I love your headphones analogy. I've been blasting myself with metal in my headphones since I was a teen. It felt good to tune everything out.
Thanks for joining conversation!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Same, my parents use to bang on my bedroom door yelling 'turn that shi! down' it was 1 of my escapes and I still love it today.
I've had a couple of jobs teaching English. Sometimes I felt like I was exactly where I wanted to be. But I also had several intense emotional breakdowns. There are a lot of pressures from students and bosses ect. I think I need to work hard on reregulation and then get back to it.
Difficult to enjoy our gifts when we are dysregulated. This can be really helpful tool crappychildhoodfairy.com/
I’m in the same situation, James, also a teacher and finding it hard. I love my work and I’m good at it but still got a burnout.
Teaching kids is one of my life’s purposes, I’m sure of that. But still, getting triggered so often makes it hard. I’m glad I’m learning about this trigger thing and stopping to beat myself up.
Don’t give up, James, teaching is a wonderful thing to do! And you can be a very important person for kids with cptsd. I know that for sure because I was saved by school...
I just went back to school to be an English teacher. It definitely accelerated my path to purpose because It’s something I always loved and was always good at. I was very rusty though lol
@@LizzyAnn_Comedy same. I’m in college to be a teacher. I know I get dysregulated easily and see how I could get dysregulated while teaching. I’m a sophomore now - so I have 2 years to get more regulated before I start teaching
You ARE a gift that I give thanks for every day! 🙏🏼💝
Thanks for the kind words!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This is the message I’ve needed to hear for the majority of my life instead of those harsh pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps and try harder messages being hurled at me. Those always made me feel like even more of a failure and never inspired positive change in me and this video has made me realize that what I really need is soft, compassionate understanding of my unique emotional needs. Thank you for this
I'm fortunate to make my living with my gift.
Taking care of my sick grandmother gave me some sort of purpose. When she died last January 2020, I start once again to struggle to find a purpose. This pandemic is not helping.
I'm sorry for your loss. Yes -- there are times and conditions that suppress the expression of gifts -- it becomes a massive but invisible cost to society, and we all lose. With healing though our gifts will find a way!
Yep this pandemic has shut everything
down. I feel the same way
@@speteydog2260 stay strong fella
I've been challenged by CPTSD all my life. Without proper mental health treatment even though I was in therapy.
This Covid-19 stufd has caused more disregulation than anything else that I've ever experienced.
I developed new, unknown triggers which I'm s working on.
I really appreciate your guidance. It's been a life saver! Many blessings to you, Anna!✌💕🙏
Thank you! I'm responding on Anna's behalf as she's working on more content this week but she loves looking over the comments and appreciates hearing the material is helping :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I have cptsd and now my husband uses that diagnosis and this channel as an excuse about why I’m wrong about everything and how my feelings are invalid. So while I think this channel is great as a resource, I regret telling him as now I get gaslight 24/7.
Sorry to hear you feel the channel has been weaponized in some way- we're definitely about promoting harmony. As always, we strongly suggest this technique for healing CPTSD which may help with communication between you & your husband as well : courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
I won't tell my partner that I have CPTSD. I've revealed to my husband of many years about some of my fears and weaknesses; back then I knew I was different, just didn't know what that it was CPTSD. I know how terrible it feels when you confide in a someone and they use the info against you. I actually hope my partner never finds the CCF channel till I can heal. I'm working on healing myself, clearing my mind and using other support, cuz he's not safe.
Each time i asked my husband to go to counseling with me for our marriages communication problems he said, "You go ahead and go. I don't need to." 😳😤
I had a similar upbringing to the person ("Tracy") who wrote the letter. Although my dad was not an alcoholic, he was a workaholic and there was not much abuse, but neglect. To make matters worse, I was born with a degenerative genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis. I really struggle with finding a purpose, because I never thought I would live to adulthood. I too, am stuck at my parents house because I only get SSI and am too sick to work. It is a very toxic environment literally and figuratively. I should not even be living here due to my health but I have nowhere else to go. My family consists of hoarders and narcissists. Growing up in my family and in my parents house completely wrecked me physically, mentally and emotionally. I don't see how I can escape it. Feeling stuck in life and being sick constantly has caused severe depression, anxiety and a general lack of motivation and willpower.
That is a very difficult situation Mary. Are there online CF support groups? I don't know where you live but you could check if there is a local Center for Independent Living and see if there are options you didn't know about. Glad you're here :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy There are support groups but I never feel very connected to people online. I don't relate to the CF community as much because have already had two double lung transplants, but I'm still not in good shape health wise. Someone once mocked me saying I was playing the "oppression olympics" when I told them I feel like an outcast because I have a lot of different issues working against me like poverty, illness and family problems.
Your insight on her story really help me to get clear about what to do next in my life, which is keep trying to explore new things! I'm 22 and recently graduated from college. Preparing myself to enter work place really really take lots of my energy. But i know i spend my time and my energy on the right things. The brain dysregulation that you always mention, is real. So happy that now i can continue my recovery journey with the tools you gave freely. You give me hope, Anna! Thank you again and sending much love from indonesia💕
You're welcome, so glad you are joining us from across the world :)
CCP 🧚♂️ is like a gift in our lives. Need the break from shame and my outsider status that these videos give me. Blessings. Kate
Thank you Kate
I just want to give a confirmation that you ARE in your gift. I am forever grateful for you. Thank you. ❤️🌹
Wow, thank you!
I was really down recently. If you grew up in rabid criticism and verbal abuse, it became a problem for me in deciphering what is true and what is not in the echoes I hear, if I’m horrible or what? I decided to tell my FB friends I was down, and asked for encouragement. It was wonderful, I received really precious feedback, and best of all it confirmed who I thought or hoped I was. It was beautiful. I was dyslexic and couldn’t read as a kid, my parents thought I was pervasively stupid and was a girl, so virtually irrelevant, so they never paid attention to idea of gifts or talents, I never was attacked in that realm. Therefore I’m intact in those key areas, and the great thing is, the base of who I am operates smoothly, in absolute peace and harmony. Art is my dominant preoccupation and a natural positive, a grace, it’s how I know what normal should be. Now to bring rest of me to that place, I’m following your gifts and talents. ♥️🌹🕊
You had friends who came through for you and reminded you who you are. That's beautiful! Thanks for being here.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy it was beautiful and powerful, I was sinking, they pulled me up. We need tell each other of their value to us, every human struggles. I value your compassion and insights, you’ve taught me a great deal. You’re bedrock for many! ♥️🕊
I've clung to a job in healthcare because it was practical and pays the bills. It has not been fulfilling. A question I have heard many times is "do you like what you do.?" Many people have said "have you ever thought of working with children?" I've been told I am "thorough" and "sweet." Ha.
I've prayed and asked if I should change careers but I haven't had any specific direction on how to work with children yet. I think I'm gonna start volunteering.
Great video Anna 💕
Volunteering is an excellent start!
What if you've never received any positive feedback from anyone?
I am so sorry to hear you say that, you are brave for writing what you wrote. Is it appropriate to ask where you are not getting the positive feedback, about yourself or from what you have done. I am a nature photographer and get good feedback from that work, for example.
This might sound silly but try asking God for meaningful positive feedback. Be sincere in your prayer. I think he'll show you people who really admire you.
@@ruthiefrost That’s a kind and caring comment :) I feel like just adding a note to that: while asking/thinking about God, do get in touch with the God with unconditional love and compassion and not the judgemental, punishing God. Felt like making this note as the God based on a love-less origin story - of a God who is not unconditional love - in itself has been the cause of so much trauma for so many people.
Then it is indeed a difficult situation. As for a new small positive feedback from a stranger: you seem to be talking with self-awareness and honesty and you sound like a caring person.
In her book "Big Magic" Elizabeth Gilbert encourages us to try out things we're curious about. Have fun with that and keep an ear out for new feedback. 🙏🏽🌸
I recommend learning about your north node on your astrological chart which tells you about your life lessons, soul purpose, and best approach this lifetime. I use this in my transformational coaching business along with EFT tapping, and it works fast to help my clients unload traumas and start taking action towards their deep dreams and desires and manifesting results quickly. Anna, great appreciation for being a shining star to so many. It's my experience as well that moving into my purpose is a powerful alignment that makes meaning of everything I've experienced. ❤
I have really enjoyed your channel so much. I've come to middle age with no sense of purpose and increased dysregulation. I was a counselor for 28 years and am now completely disabled due to a resurgence of my PTSD and burnout. I don't know what my next step needs to be!
that heavy metal metaphor got me in tears. i really try to pretend it's not there, and everybody else has no idea
You're definitely doing what you're meant to, it really shows Anna 👑❤️❤️❤️
I really need to be more kind to myself about finding my gift 💝
I've been dysregulated my whole life stemming from a difficult childhood. Now I am 62 and still struggling. I recognize the problems and the roots of them but at this point, I have given up on finding purpose beyond that which I had while raising my daughter. Lost my emotional regulation and quit my job recently and am now faced with trying to secure another job quickly at my age. I have no financial resources other than employment so I spend a lot of time trying not to panic.
Hope things are better now. ❤
Thankyou . I needed this this morning, feeling so down on myself.
Glad to be here for you :)
I'm 68 is it too late for me ?
NEVER 😊
62 and looking forward to the unknow! If I disable can you can too! Mind over matter! Action in the face of fear is courage! Believe and receive!! I'll pray for you to find your way!
I am 73, still looking and I won't stop searching! And no, I will never forgive my parents!
Never
Hi Reatha. I'm 64 and retired from the job that kept and still keeps a roof over my head (pension). Over the decades there have been glimmers of what my gift(s) might be/are, but I've been very dysregulated. I dearly want to uncover my gifts and bring good to the world. I believe it's not too late for me, nor for you. We older folk ("elders"?) have so much to give. Let's do this journey together
healing from ptsd is like streams of water washing your pain away:)
Well said!
You are a good teacher, Anna!
Thank you! 😃
I wish my mother had shared with me the wisdom you have while I was growing up. I am not implying you are like my mother (I am 39 :) I just mean that you are like my healing mother ♥ thank you 😊 ♥
Oh Anna, you are SO operating in your gifting! Thank you for sharing the gift of yourself with those of us who are still floundering. We really appreciate your work.⚓️♥️⚓️
So good! Appreciate your work so much everyday!
Glad you enjoy it! Thank you!
I can relate with this girl you read from, my dad was also an alcoholic and very verbally abusive and mum was the 'victim' but she was bitter and took it out on me. Later had a relationship that was equally messed up and now feel like my life is passing me by. Feel I have tried so many different jobs and moved enough times but just feel broken. Jack of all trades for sure but feel there is 'something' in me wanting to be expressed but just not sure what. My life has been such a roller coaster that now I am to jaded to try anything else. Even find it hard to tell people anything as my trust in people is not there. So glad I have found your videos as it helps me not feeling like I am from a different planet. Thank you. x
Glad you are here, there is a lot of relatedness in this community!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I like this community......people seem so respectful and it is super helpful when one tries to figure things out and learn to forgive self......think this is my hardest lesson, to forgive self for not knowing better.....blaming myself all these years. Working on the writing bit, to be more focused on that, used to write a lot but last few years I stopped, just over exhausted with 'stuff' and memories I hadn't dealt with flooding my senses. See how I have caused many messes myself also, for not knowing better, which is not helping but the road to recovery is here for sure, so thank you. :)
Thank you, Anna, for all your work helping people who are troubled. We need many more people like you.
Thank you!
Love this lady, so calm and upbeat.
Thanks so much!
A local bartender girl recently said to me "I was so happy to see you walk in. There's such a bad vibe in here tonight and I knew you'd change it".
Then while paying the bill an hour later she said "You DID IT. You changed the vibe. It's all on you, dude".
Don't know if she's hallucinating or not but maybe that's my gift: To sit there and do nothing. :)
Anyway, she made me feel good, which I appreciated.
Some people really do have that gift of creating a sort of uplift :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you! I've been in a pretty bad state the past 2 years but, to my surprise, do get A LOT of positive vibes from others. Thanks again!
"I'm on fire when I do these videos!" - love this! I know what that feels like. God bless you and your glass of water.
I needed to hear this 🥳 Thank you Fairy 🧚♂️
You are so welcome
I just "celebrated" my 57th birthday. Symptom have progressed over the past couple of decades until I find myself completely debilitated for hours or even days by triggers that I can't identify. People around me doubt my description of those symptoms, their severity and even their causes. My healthcare insurance denies claims for my therapy while doubling down on my meds, my short-term disability benefits approved a whole 6 weeks of treatment and denied the necessity of further treatment, though my job itself is a trigger and has helped me progress to this point through my effort to ignore their progress and impact to the point that I find myself on the verge of self-destruction. It's so easy for me now to come to the conclusion that recovery is too late, unaccessible, and without value. It feels to me like everyone supports my recovery as long as they don't have to participate in it or provide resources I need desperately to even have a fighting chance. I haven't given up, yet. But the impulse is never far off.
I understand that access to resources can be a huge barrier. I'm glad you haven't given up and you are checking in with the Fairy channel for a bit of relatedness. I do hope your therapist & doctor can assist you with insurance reimbursement and appropriate services. Depending on what kind of help you specifically need, 12-step programs can be very useful as well and almost anyone with CPTSD qualifies for the ACA program (adult children of alcoholics or dysfunctional families)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you.
Dear Anna, this must be one of the most powerful talks you have shared with us in terms of searching and finding one’s gifts as far as purpose and direction go. Many thanks for this logical flow of constructive thinking and application. As importantly I wanted to comment on your looking to improve your gift or style. I think many would agree that it is precisely the human accessibility and vulnerability you offer that makes your teaching so relatable and doable. So yes, reach for the stars, but please don’t leave us too far behind!😁🌈💫👌🏽
Thank for this kind comment @Elle_Tuppen. I'm with you on that -- seeking to improve my clarity, my understanding, my attunement to what is needed, my connection with everyone here. The things that end up evolving in our work isn't always what we *thought* needed improvement. I always wish I looked a little less rumpled, and didn't have glare in my glasses. That kind of thing.
Thank you Anna. 😊
Welcome!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Great message!
Thank you!
For my whole life I have vacillated between thinking there is a purpose to life, that I just can't find and consequently, I have been moving from one thing to another (like a true narcissist), to realizing there is no purpose to life and the value we are all expected to have for life (religion and social pressure), is an emotional construct to shield us from the feeling of the pointlessness of it.
So the big question is, what is the "thing" I am meant to be good for, I ask myself. I have tried a great many things and been good at some of them, but I haven't found the "thing" I am meant to be good for, and I don't think I will necessarily find out it. This is because I have lived my life as a kind of psychological out-of-body experience, as the damaged little kid deep inside comes to the fore, inside this older mans body, and says we don't understand (emotionally) whats going on in life. I have resigned myself to the fact that I may never find a scintillating purpose for my existence except to overcome the bus load of emotional baggage I carry with me. I have been an "impostor syndrome" sufferer for much of my life and being able to know that I am good at something and also to find a purpose related to it, seems beyond my capacity, but I still try.
From one imposter syndrome sufferer to the next: try this bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
Anna Runkle, you are so wonderful. Thank you for everything you do 🌻
Thank you! I'm responding on Anna's behalf as she's working on more content this week but she checks on comments and so appreciates them!
-Cara@TeamFairy
My head is too!!.. I had a hobby that I loved so much I had to give up because it wreaked havoc with my blood pressure and brain..
Thank you so much for sharing your insight. So grateful for you!
Glad it was helpful!
I know I am meant for something better. I want to pay for a patent on an item I think will sell then use the money to live abroad and help kids who do not have anyone to help them. I plan to hire the CCF to make the videos for advertisement bc I see she has a video company. Sounds so far-fetched but I really think this is my bigger purpose.
Go for the far fetched! Why not???
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm in late 30's and still struggle to find my purpose.I know my interests but don't know how to make living from it.I have got so many qualifications , courses etc yet still something is blocking me to do what my soul would crave.I think it's just a feeling that comes and goes rather than to stay
Dear Ana...just say to Tracy that same was my background but I am on a happy path..i took care of all my younger siblings married a girl raised in a house full of love and having best life I could.
I have to show this to my wife !!!
Great!
This is incredibly helpful! Do you have any advice for people close to middle age? Seems like a few of us around, struggling to make the jump to something more fulfilling. Thank you!
Do you mean people younger than me? This info is for everyone!
I agree with you that yours is a gift, Ms. Fairy
I just wanted to say (again) I love your videos and I think you're wonderful. Thank you for your channel!
Thank you so much!
Anna You are a Gift💝💝💝💝💝💝
Thank you so much!
Very inspiring. Touching me right where it should at this time. Thank you 💗
Thank you so much for explaining the difference between talents and gifts! I've never heard that before! My natural talent is singing and my gift is healing.
I thank God I found you! And Thank God for UA-cam! Wish this all came together when I was younger. But I’m not dead yet! I’ve got a lot of life to live! And I’m learning! Thank you Anna!!
So glad you're here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Anna...it is DEFINITELY your gift lol you're more than good enough trust me
🤗 thanks so much!
I’ve been trying to work on my imposter syndrome. Seems related. I’ve decided to set aside time to work through your videos because I’ve just watched a few, but they all seem to apply to my situation.
Great! Hope you find them helpful! And yes, imposter syndrome is real with CPTSD, glad you're here
Yeah...I think it is your gift too...you do a fabulous job!
Oh thank you!
How do you accept "something better". How do you know what that is? How do I encourage my inside that it safe to come out without destroying the world with defensiveness? (Didn't know that would come forth!) 🙏
I recommend working on getting free of the resentment and fear (which umbrellas defensiveness). This course teaches how to do that crappychildhoodfairy.com/
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I like your videos. But the courses are out of my current price range. Stay fabulous.
Thank you!!
You're welcome!
Fairy u are doing a great & wonderful job! Thank u so much for your teachings!!!
You're welcome. Thank you so much for being here! - Ashley, Team Fairy
Love your videos, thank you.
Thanks for watching!
I agree 100 percent that you are in your gift! I am so tired from trying to make a living in my job... I am an intervenor for 120 elders. I do love to care for others.. but honestly this job takes all my energy. I love to write and paint mostly.... I always dreamed of crating a beautiful art work book with poetry but I may have to wait until I retire and often some days I wonder if I will make it to retirement. Life is expensive and tough. I love your videos and all you share! Thanks so much and God bless!
Thanks for sharing! Maybe just a tiny start on the book will re-energize you a bit. Worth a try!
I'm rooting for you, Tracy. Good luck.
Fingers crossed!
I enjoy the write crappie journal in all your trauma to through away and no body sees. The through away crappy journal. Keep the journal that is good to remember. Thank you Ann. I been doing this as you said. I'm feel better. Battle is not done yet thank you so much.😎🌞⛵😺🌁🏝😺😺😺🙏🛴🛴🌴🌴🌁🌁🌁
Thank you so much, glad you're here!
You are amazing Anna. You have absolutely found your gift and are moving in the right direction ... no question. I am pleased to be able to have the good fortune to follow you up your path :)
Hello all! Anna, thank you for your contributions. You are part of my daily practice. I haven't heard you talk about it so I wanted to throw EMDR therapy into this mix. I'm just getting into it but found a huge release after just one session. Curious to know if you have heard of or have tried the technique.
I can answer with confidence Anna knows that a lot of people have have had success with EMDR. I tried it years apart three times and didn't have success, but like anything, it's very different for all of us. So glad you found something that is working for you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for your gift . You have helped me so much 💝
Happy to hear that. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy
So my family is different. Not as blatantly out there like many. Married 64 yrs- mom was wonderful, dad self-absorbed and controlling. However, they were somewhat emotionally unavailable and I had seizures as a child and no one took me to the doctor and people teased me. So they were not leaving me in cars and going into bars, but there were other things- no one drank. I guess it confuses me sometimes.
You are doing what you are meant to do- you are awesome!
Of all the things I love the most on your videos and some days I totally go through your videos like crazy - I love this one the most- the gifts we have to give to this world! It's so hard to get there! I get that so much! Also mothering to my now adult kids and my really hard time w/ Empty Nest Syndrome....can you talk to that? I was so coddling and mothering to mine bc I didn't get it from my parents or ex husband. They live far now and I think being too over coddling was not good but we are not estranged or anything. They love me and tell me. I just can't get over "being a mom!" I did give up on the man thing bc so many men have kids and mine are away and I get jealous. This is a weird situation to ask....I haven't heard of this being- prob an attachment thing from CPTSD
Wow! You are doing such great work here! This is a great video. I like how you describe what gifts are and how they differ from talent. Gifts are not only for ourselves but they are to be given to others. That is so right. So funny you mentioned comedy in this video. I am a comedian. Not a well-known one yet but that is my passion and will be my profession. When we don't get laughs its called bombing. The dying is when we feel ourselves loosing the audience and then as a result we bomb. Like you said, if we are not into it and not feeling the audience we loose it and start to die on stage. Not a good feeling lol. But we need our bombs too as I am sure you know. I love your videos because they inspire me. You are soulful and an an intellectual which is such a great combo. I do your daily practice but it my own way. I incorporated addressing my fears and resentments into my journaling. I also realized that it is important to write not just my jokes and comedy writing stuff but my feelings because our CPTSD symptoms can get in the way of our success. I know mine have. I laughed so hard when you said, "imagine if Mozart couldn't play the piano because of his PTSD got in the way and his symptoms got him fired!" LOL! Hilarious!!! If you were a comedian I would tell you, "keep that one!" That would be quite a hilarious act out!!AHAHAHAH! I might steal that one. Ha! Anyway, I also signed up to you website and read some good articles and stuff that help me see things in a calmer, more forgiving light which is so funny because I was so skeptical of you at first. I was triggered when I first found you. I was spiritually bypassing without knowing it and misinterpreted something you said about spirituality. I was in a space where I wasn't wanting to deal with my healing. I even wrote a story about you and it ended up where I discovered that you were right. "This fairy knows what she's talking about!" Ha! Crappy Childhood Fairy is a GREAT name btw.. Funny but to the point. Some of us have crappy childhoods. Another thing about you that inspires me is the fact that you had CPTSD and you found a way to be successful with your gifts. You give me hope that I too can be successful at my gifts. Like I can put together a career for myself like you have using my gifts. I can get out of my own way and let my gift of being funny and knowing how to be funny be my profession. People always pull me aside and tell me how good I am at comedy. How much they needed the laughs. People follow me out of venues to get my info because they want to see me again. I have the talent I just need the focus. Now that you have shown me how important it is to stay regulated I will be taking that seriously and when I succeed I will add you to the list of the people who helped me. You are a living example of what we can become. Like in this video you say how you are watching yourself get better and always improving. Its just a great success story. Your story is a great success story. Its what we all hope for. To not just dream it but to find a way to do it. You are good at what you do and I am happy you are here doing it. Thank you so much, Anna. Thank you for sharing your gifts :)
Amazing you know your purpose and are out there doing it!!! With less fear and resentment we can find a LOT of humor regarding our own behaviors, nothing healthier than not taking ourselves too seriously :)
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you so much for replying to this 💖 How very kind of you. And, yes, there's a lot to express through the art of comedy and I find it to be healing for all of us. I use a lot of self-deprecating humor as may have guessed. How can I not make light of this pain and poke fun of some of my weird behavior? Its funny to people. I love your work. Thank you for replying and for being such an inspiration to so many. We need you❤❤❤🙂🙂🙂
I cried when listening to this girl's letter.
Reassuring when we realize we aren't all alone
-Cara@TeamFairy
Anna's messages are so profound and hits so close to home.. love it so much.. listen to her at least everyday.. thank you so much
Fantastic video
Very good! I appreciate your insight and care.
Thanks for watching!
No stuffing no numing no more it wasent only childhood it was all the way till a year ago thanksgiving weekend now ct Monday I can’t work as a makeupartist maybe in near future I could be a coach lol 😅I wish it were just childhood bullying in catholic school my boss in the salon he wouldn’t allow anyone to abuse me I was very valuable in his salon so he just did it for me he benefited for himself because I was a money maker since 15 years old now live on two checks for the rest of my life I’m grateful my home my Garden the beach ten min away from my house shopping close by I’m grateful keeps me going a float ❤love all your videos Anna I even listen to videos even if it doesn’t pertain to me I’m open door to learn everyone’s baggage I learn from every video one way or another love all the learning to fulfill my life I’m on the yellow brick road on my way ❤thanks again Anna my gift as a makeupartist but can’t do this because my perment nerological deficit but I fight against it all I only shut down half way 😮😊🎉@lorraineamicothemakeupartist
These videos are definitely a gift of yours! 💓
I'm way to old now, I wish I knew this stuff 30 yrs ago - the only thing I did right was quit drinking and drugs - but I needed some sort of intervention for cptsd - never got it and now about to retire and wasted my life on min wage BS
Practice some of the strategies and we'll see what happens! It's not over, glad you are here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
It's not abnormal circumstances though is it. There are so many people who are profoundly damaged.
Yes, many are very damaged. I was someone who thought I couldn't ever be better but I am happy to say that the Daily Practice is an amazing tool
-Cara@TeamFairy
I wonder what percentage of people watching have CPTSD. I feel like this is good advice for anyone really ^^
This is incredible advice.
:)
really lovely video. thank you
Glad you enjoyed it!
I can certainly relate to the bag of cats analogy
That has caught a lot of attention :)
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy lol, it was a great description
I’m so hopeless with no family or near friends. I was abused my entire life until I ran away. But now 5 years later, I’m stuck suffering with my cptsd and other problems, and I have a sleeping problem that no doctor are finding out. I don’t know either what medications is right? I abused too cannabis for 1 year and it’s not working anymore. I suffer so extremely and no one understand, and with the doctors it goes so slow.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much, when we need medication it can be a lengthy process. Hang in there :)
i often wonder why people have children
:)
It’s not for everyone, I believe. Not everyone knows this, I also believe.
I’m seconds in and this has been the theme. Especially today !
Great to be in sync :)