Anger Is Your Ally: A Mindful Approach to Anger | Juna Mustad | TEDxWabashCollege
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- Опубліковано 19 тра 2019
- How do we create a healthier relationship with anger? Most of us either stuff our anger or we suddenly find ourselves erupting in rage. In this pioneering talk, Juna Mustad reveals how neuroscience and mindfulness techniques can help us unlock the power of the world's most stigmatized emotion, anger. Juna Mustad has been coaching leaders and visionaries for the last 13 years to develop emotional intelligence, create healthy relationships and embrace their full potential. She works with individuals, groups and companies globally to develop mindfulness tools, foster leadership skills, and enhance overall wellbeing. Juna is a coach, mindfulness facilitator, intuitive and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. Through her work she offers an accessible, non-threatening approach to creating a healthy relationship with the world's most stigmatized emotion. You can learn more about Juna’s work here: www.junamustad.com/ This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx Juna is a Life and Relationship coach, an Intuitive, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner focused on helping you create healthy relationships, expand your emotional awareness, and embrace your full potential. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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"anger reveals boundaries. Anger heals trauma. Anger inspires action.
anger inspires me to hit a wall not to act rationally...
@@kept7832 hahaha well said true this.
Crystal anger puts others in icu. And me in front of a judge.
Lol
Not when it's destructive
First of all, it's OKAY to be angry, don't ever let anyone tell you "you shouldn't be mad" about something. The main takeaways are that 1) ANGER, like all emotions, is COMMUNICATION - it creates a physiological reaction to tell you something is wrong. If you can acknowledge in your own body what happens, then you're a step closer to getting back in the driver's seat; 2) ANGER IS YOUR ALLY; it doesn't hesitate to tell you that either your boundaries have been crossed or something is wrong/unjust; 3) ANGER CANNOT BE CONTROLLED OR IGNORED! It persists until you do something about the situation that caused it. Emotions occur in your body, YOU are not emotions; think of them as friends coming to visit you, although you may not always appreciate their visitation, they usually have something very important to tell you. One thing this woman failed to mention is that THIS IS NOT EASY, it takes many many times going through these sort of steps (breathing, naming, etc.) before you are able to become friends with your anger rather than resorting to old habits (so have some compassion for yourself, it'll take time). The greatest advice I've been given regards all emotions: allow them in, let yourself feel every part of it, don't judge them or yourself, don't react on them, ask them what is it that's causing the commotion, and trust that deep down you know the answer. If anything you will gain more understanding about yourself. And please remember that if you turn your back on your emotions, you're only turning your back on yourself, which is the greatest mistake you could make.
Well said, thank you
Thank you.
Thank you!
So well articulated. Thank you so much!
I dunno, but this comment made me cry.
Totally agree! "Expressing our anger teaches others to respect us, showing them they have crossed an invisible line into a territory-emotional, social, physical, or otherwise-that we are willing to defend. Without the useful feeling of anger, others could easily take advantage of us, insult us, steal our things, disrespect our rights, and generally walk all over us without fear of retribution." (from The Sudist Way)
True
Until you meet somebody that is almost literally angry at everything and everyone. Cussing you out over the most mundane things and I do mean mundane... Turning on the light because the room is dark in the morning and being yelled at for it. An irrational rage that is like walking on a minefield, only the mines are already going off before you've taken a step.
@@BeNice108 Yes, you are right, there is the other extreme--too much anger. I call this "unhealthy anger", whereas the reasonable levels of anger could be called "healthy anger". The Sudist Way talks about this too, and why this affects some people but not others. Cheers. :-)
@@BeNice108 And then there's people that claim you get angry for no reason, like your opinions don't matter and your feelings are invalid.
@@6k911Channel There is always a reason, It's hard to deal with people that seem mad at you when they're upset about other things and they take it out on you. I personally have to deal with a family member that is irrational, not dismissing their feelings but not let them just be an a-hole to me or my nephews. Meanwhile he refuses to talk about it while thinking everyone else is a bigger problem. Everyone with political rage seems tame by comparison xD
Searched "anger management" while experiencing an "anger attack" or whatever this is that I'm feeling. Now, I just want to cry. Thank you for this.
Me too, I cried for almost half an hour. I've been so full of rage for almost 2 weeks with no exit in sight, so, I searched the same.
Growing up in a society that keeps telling you to contain your anger because you'll "make others feel bad/ruin other's day" does take a toll on your body. It's not like I am angry all the time, but once I express it, I got shut immediately by harsh words and rejection. It makes me fear of my own anger, and I know very well It's unhealthy.
Thank you for this talk, btw. I am definitely trying to incorporate the techniques into my emotional life. ❤
Anger is a messenger. Thirst is to drinking, hunger is to eating, anger is to listen to the self and advocate in healthy ways and be your own social worker.
It’s powerful though, it’s backed with action hormones (fight or flight) that once aroused needs to be calmed back down before listened to clearly and actioned upon rationally.
I used to be a bottler. I learnt that it was safer around my mother.
Then I became an exploder.
And now I call time out when I feel the anger hormones preparing me for fight and I take myself off.. I calm down.. then I figure out what was really going on and I listen and advocate.
Holding one's anger is tempering the soul.......................Falun Dafa
My immediate response to her saying to respond to anger with compassion was definitely anger. Of course, my second thought was understanding, but I got pissed first because part of why I usually erupt is I feel like other people are neglecting my feelings to begin with. That one is gonna be hard for me.
That part made me angry too.
@@ross_ulbright7779 Since seeing this (almost a year ago), I’ve put this advice into action; and I can say without a doubt it really does make a BIG difference. I hope you’re able to do the same, and that it’s effective for you as well.
Its hard but our feelings are supposed to be our own.
I have a quote on my wall that states, "Where there is anger, there is no control; where there is no control, there is no power". I forgot where I found it, but the quote always stuck with me, so I wrote it and hung it up, that helped me because as a person who hates to feel weak or p*ssy lol. So getting my brain to understand that I am showing my weakness by not being able to control myself, snapping and flying off the handle really helped me, it motivated me to improve and be less angry. I always listen to affirmations that talks about "how motivated and powerful I am" and because I like to feel powerful that quote helped me learn how to be better at controlling my temper and how I react to certain things. So I don't know if that quote helps but I wanted to share it, just in case. I also listen to affirmations on being relax, calm, patient, fearless and in control" those have helped as well, because affirmations help re-program the subconscious mind. You should start you-tubing "What are subliminal affirmations" and "What is the difference between the conscious and subconscious mind" so you can learn how listening to affirmations at night while you sleep can re-wire your mind to act and think the way you desire to. It's basically brain washing but in a positive way, you're forming new healthy belief systems about yourself, which makes you change in a good way. Some affirmations I like to say to myself as well as listen to is : "Nothing can break me ! I am finally at peace in life. Nothing can disrupt my peace ! I am a positive person. I am happier now. No one can break my happiness ! No one can break my positive energy ! I am powerful. I am in control. I am fearless. I am a calm, relaxed joyful person. I easily express myself. I easily ignore negativity. My positivity is contagious." And I make my own subliminal affirmations using a text to speech app, as well as using "power director", but there are many good ones on you tube. U can look up the channel "Minds in Unison", omg I promise you one night listening to his sleep subliminal affirmations and you'll wake up calmer, lighter, more relaxed and happier. You'll get results but it takes 21 to 30 days to fully completely re-wire the subconscious mind PERMANENTLY, so keep listening daily or nightly to get results and a change that will stick FOREVER. It can be hard to stay consistent, but our mentality and belief system is just like our physical body, the same way we have to diet and exercise persistently to get fit and change our body is the same way we have to be consistent when re-programming the subconscious mind.
same literally
I’ve had challenges with anger all 30 years of my life and I never knew it was because it was a warning saying that my boundaries were being violated and I wasn’t being respectful in truth of myself. But that’s exactly what it is and I subconsciously knew that but I had no idea it was connected to anger. When I was least angry was when I gave myself the most self-respect and made my truest decisions. Wow thank god for you🙏🏽
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Best of luck brotha! You got this✊🏽
This is underrated and therefore underviewed. She is bearing her soul for our benefit. A champion's speech. Well done .
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
I've been fighting my anger my whole life and today was so exhausted from it that I decided to randomly Google "how can my anger be my ally" which led me to this video. I know I've got some work ahead of me, but watching this fundamentally changed my perspective. I thank you from the bottom of my soul.
same..i just googled today and it leads me here
@@aprilrose-km3dc Hey, me too. Googled it today
this video brought me to tears. it gave me the answer I've been looking for for 20 helpless years... i can't believe i finally have the tools to process the anger that's been progressively ruining my life. (didn't have the tools to go to therapy or seek help.) thank you so much for this talk, i literally can't thank you enough.
ratsalad Cry out to Jesus, pour it all out to Him, holding nothing back. Church rarely helps as usually full of gossips or narcissistic abusers who will betray and make you more angry. Faith is not religion, there's liberty in Jesus. Definitely recognising and naming the anger in the moment helps. Submit to God and resist the dev!l. See Dr Caroline Leaf 21 day plan to behaviour change on youTube also science based.
Be patient with yourself beloved, for you are precious in His sight ❤️
So glad it was helpful for you. Thank you
ratsalad@ How you doing ? I'm curious. sometimes I'm angry.
I felt similar. I needed to see this years ago. I never made the connection between lack of assertiveness and anger.
@@coiorr8370 I'm doing much better! i don't always use the technique from this video but I've gotten much better at disengaging from a situation when i know I'm angry and might explode. when i can feel my dysregulation (racing pulse, impending tears, a need to raise my voice or yell) i simply leave the room, calm down and address the issue later when i feel better. it's taken a lot of practice and I'm still not perfect at it. there are some people with whom you can't address the issue even when you're calm because they don't and never will have the emotional capacity to hear you out (e.g. if they're a narcissist). in those cases i simply don't try to talk it out with them. it won't work. it's not worth it. they'll regularly try to push your buttons and the only thing you can do is greyrock them for your peace of mind
"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"
- Buddha.
wo. thats dope. i get it
Thats right!!!! Buddha was a genius in philosophy and mind control
@@aniruddhkeskar286 "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured"
- Mark Twain.
Isn't there another quote he said that described something about holding on to coal?
Thats so true!! I understood it
Anybody got angry when they had to put all the volumes on 10 to hear this talk?
Yes I'm at the gym. Can't wear the speaker
😂
Ha!!!!
Lmao
Okay I’m so glad that wasn’t just me. 🤣
"My values were out of integrity with my soul" This is me, this line hit me like a ton of bricks. I replayed it 5 times before I continued with this video. Anger has consumed me, and it's time for me to take back who I am. Thank you Juna.
Wow. This is so beyond helpful. Anger is so stigmatized and misunderstood. What a beautiful way to reframe.
"My values were out of integrity with my soul." That sums it all. Thank you
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
AWESOME. when in a rage, you have to do these steps SO FAST, right in the moment or you get owned. Breathe (regain balance); "Name it"/feel it/hear it - gives respect to your anger, it then will answer, & if you listen, you can choose to give it what it wants...which will be something opposite of the desire to destroy. Anger even rage are like the rites of passage to compassion, forgiveness, repentance (change) peace, understanding, Love. GREAT, if people will practice, this goes to the core & heart of the matter, the relief & resolution you are seeking.
One of the best comment ever
Don't pretend it's in a stringent order. When I get mad, the LAST thing I wanna do is breath. I want catharsis (baring teeth, clenching fists) first, then I can try to breath, otherwise I get even more angry
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
There is a great teaching that shows us the Way..........................Falun Gong.
4:35 Life only lets you get away with coping strategies for so long, before it shines a big spotlight on your insecurities.
9:36 Hand model of the brain created by Dr Dan Siegal
11:23 Mindfulness is paying attention with kindness and curiosity. It creates regulatory fibres between prefrontal cortex and lower regions of brain
12:20 Breath - engages the parasympathetic nervous system which soothes the threat response
12:55 Name it - Naming your emotions puts the breaks on physiological dysregulation. I feel angry. "I feel tension in my shoulders."
13:22 Do It differently- Try feeling compassion. Say "I'm hurting. How can i be kinder to those around me"
13:48 Feel the anger in your body- clench your fists and bare your fangs and growl. Say No.
14:21 Inquire. Your anger is trying to tell you something. With curiosity. ask your anger "What action do I need to take. What do I need to see that Im unwilling to face."
14:49 Easy Way to remember all the above: When you flip your lid, there are 4 fingers of your prefrontal cortex that need to come back online: Breath, Name it, Do it Differently, Inquire
Thank you for doing this! I normally take notes on talks like this and you saved me the time!
@@rachelvoss5519 Hey, no problem! Thank you for those kind words! Take care, and keep taking notes :)
I'm God bless you for this. So helpful
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Thank you, saved me time by writing the Doctors name .
When I get angry I never hurt anyone, I just let it put quietly or start doing physical work twice the speed I usually do. Anger is energy, whether you use it for good or bad depends on you
well said!
Smart. Thank you for your comment.
I only started healthily expressing my anger the more respect I had for myself. What brought me to this video was I just argued with someone who crossed my boundaries. In the past I would've let anybody walk all over me. But as I've learnt to love myself I've grown to defend myself because I now know I'm worth fighting for.
You dont have my anger
I did that one time and lost parts of my fingers in haste
For me anger is the best way to show people how pissed you are and how much you had enough of them. It very effective to people but you’ll regret it and it will feel awkward talking calmly to people when you’re calm
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
I think the reason why I have anger issues now is because it was suppressed by my parents as a kid, and I’m feeling the difficulties of it now.
I wasn’t allowed to show any emotion other than positive ones. Anger, sadness, etc. had to get repressed otherwise I’d have to apologize for it.
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Anger is allies not foes. It shows where our red light is and it inspires action. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Dear those who are so very impatient for having to listen to her story: I think that if you're here, it's because you have a problem with anger, or are feeling angry right now. The fact that you're here shows that you want to act on it, and the advice of others has failed for you. Listening to her story is not useless, because she provides the context to understand what she then says. If you really want to change your relationship with anger, please open your ears and not leave an angry comment and leave. That only hurts you.
@@Josh-gz9ek How can they understand that it is an ally if they just want it to stop?
@@Josh-gz9ek I think this video is aimed at people who have trouble expressing it, but I found it very good even though I was having trouble with the opposite. It helped me understand a little better how anger works and when it is constructive, so I could understand when it is not doing anything for me, but to spoil my life. I think that listening and understanding what you're being told, and not what you want to hear, is key sometimes to get out of the 'I know everything already' or 'It's your fault' mindset. My comment here was meant to illustrate that.
Thank you for saying it. Ppl are impatient. But the context to anger is the most important part.
I believe she is responding to some people who lacked the wisdom to understand the greater depths of what was being expressed in the video.
I don't believe this video was meant for shallow people or for those terminally unhappy.
It is more geared to help those motivated to know the truths behind angry people, and for those who have been adversely affected by them.
Some thoughtless folks made mention of video being less interesting than they should have.
For any intelligent and mindful person looking to make the world a better place - this video was invaluable.
A lot of good thinking and ideas went into the teaching she's presented.
@@andreaalbert5096 Sometimes people live in a silent rage that has no trigger and no purpose - other than to alleviate the inner storm that races through their mind.
No matter what you do - no matter what you say or how much you plead - and no matter how much you know - or learn - nothing will halt or hinder the raging torment that blasts from the minds of some angry people.
It's never you when a narcissist - or someone with an unsolvable inner issue - lets their inner rage loose on those around them.
They're simply taking a drug - a narcotic - and it's called anger.
They inject it - smoke it - or snort it - using you as the instrument of delivery.
They're not concerned with you at all - they simply need a hit of rage - and your the one that provides it.
They aren't always bad people - and they aren't always good people.
They are just people consumed with the need for anger in order to release the unseen pressures they can't deal with.
For the first time, I spoke to my anger. In just minutes while pausing this video - I learned my anger was given to me just as my flesh and bones were, from my parents.
My father was a very angry man (unable to accept some war-related horrors)- and thanks to this video - I know he passed a twisted understanding of who I am, off to me, along with his anger in life.
The video was very eye-opening for me. I'm excited about the prospect of learning to make anger an ally instead of a toy for the echoes of my youth. Good Video.
Powerful, thanks for sharing Don.
Yes brother, wisdom is justified of her children. Keep looking up, He's coming suddenly. John 14:6
King Jesus 👑
Not exactly, when we are born we are born hot, then, gradually through suffering, we cool down. Nothing to do with genetics, we are all unique. It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa The path to wisdom is easy to express, err and err and err again, but less and less and less.
I’m definitely more of an erupter, I feel like this wasn’t for me
Preston Easley Same brother, I’m an erupter too, feel rage building in me and can not control myself at all. Shout and scream and get violent, then can’t believe what happened later on, hate myself and feel disgusted, it’s horrible, also trying to find a solution as can’t deal with the regret afterwards anymore
Yeah, it’s deeper than “stubbing your toe and saying a few bad words”.....
Me too brother
Are you pretty angry about that? (Sorry, I had to... :)
The main problem with us is our egoistic thinking patterns that need to be changed
1.25x speed... is the best option to reduce your anger!!!
Sumit Paul thank you so much
Seriously, you are a life-saver, or at least a rage-outburst pacifier lol
Thank you dude !
🤣
2X for me :)
I thought this was going to be about trying to control anger, and was going to turn it off until I started to realize it about accepting anger. I have so much anger and this helped me to see that anger is our inner being communicating to us that something is wrong or possibly trying to correct a past wrong we experienced onto ourselves. Anger almost doesn't care, so it's good to see how we can allow it in order to understand ourselves, the situation, and our lives better.
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Dont let others tell you " your too sensitive" when they try to ridicule you about anything,be it your weight,your emotions,your values......gaslighting is the worst thing ever.
Not gonna lie, the fact that it took about 10 minutes to get into the "how" part made me more angry
And the fact that you admitted that is real good progress! This video would have have me breaking down a wall if I saw it two years ago. Admit your own power and progress just like you did with this comment because thats the only way forward. Love and trust for yourself.
LOL Now I must watch to see if I have the same reaction. Bahhh. Just got discharged from UPS for my anger. Time for a muzzle. 💪❤😕🚀
Me too.
Me too.
Not unusual for the majority self-help, psychological advice to discuss the problem rather than solution.
That joke was an EXCELLENT start of the video! You're not boasting about yourself like the other Ted talk about anger, but helping everyone relate and unify into wanting to listen to you by breaking down walls of being unsure with laughter.
September 2020 - I read the comments and then listened anyway. All I could think of this morning as I got ready for a forced work-from-home situation was, “I am SO angry all of the time.” Like Juna, I’m a stuffer - a good boy. Like Juna, I endured an abusive relationship. Like Juna, I have a mindfulness practice. And like Juna, I consult with businesses on emotional intelligence and the power of being present (mindfulness). Yet, regardless of years of study, and practice and preaching, and hearing some of her messages before, there was something here that created a catalyst. If I were to guess it was the moment when she turned to face herself. I’m hearing from colleagues, friends, neighbours who are suffering with the changes imposed upon us this year of a feeling of disconnection, being out-of-sorts, not “being myself”. We’re all grieving what used-to-be, and with the grief cycle there is a component of anger. We can see the Eruptors on the ever-cycling news channels because they are at the extreme end and make for entertainment. I’m most worried about those of us who are Stuffers - who don’t know to turn and face our own anger in a healthy and productive way (breath, name it, do it differently, inquire). Juna has delivered a succinct and powerful message. One we need to hear and act upon now more than ever. Thank you for this.
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Breath.
Name it.
Do it differently.
Inquire.
Thank you!
This is applied to people who know how to control their anger
The downvotes and negative comments highlight just how important this speech and approach to life are.
Her story relates to mine so much. Being the goody two shoes as a coping strategy then being in a traumatic relationship causing my anger to become explosive. I developed BPD and am still trying to heal from the anger. Im so thankful for her story and her speech.
We are all healing and suffering is how we heal...........................Falun Dafa
This is the best TED I’ve watched in a long time.
Thank you..After 10 months of going down the list of addictions and emotions that I needed to address to improve my life , I finally got to Anger. I realized now , that I should have started with this one.
I wish I had heard this years ago. Hearing her story in the beginning was healing, because I know exactly how every bit of that felt. Someone else has been through what I have been through.
Anger shows us our boundaries are being crossed.......well said
This changed my life I finally see the light for so long I let anger took over but now everybody loves me
That’s fantastic
I do not love you. We are born hot and learn through suffering, to be warm. It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa The path to wisdom is easy to express, err and err and err again, but less and less and less.
I almost cried listening to this..Dear speaker, I am sorry for the rage you felt. It's justified. Yet stigmatized. I have it too. I am stuck on this. I want to feel better.
Mmmm... thank you Aparajita, I so understand what you struggle with. Sending love your way
I used to be an erruptor now I'm a stuffer. But lately it seems like my "erruptor" self is taking over again
These talks have literally changed my life
Thank you for this video . Went through similar experience and healing is necessary and we have get bad before we get good
I really appreciate this approach to anger management. It's easy to talk about how to fix issues. But, to have a simplified, tangible 4 step process makes it a tool that I can use on the fly, and gives me a higher chance of success, than failure.
Thanks for this presentation Juna!
Yes, yes, yes….to be angry might mean to find an ally in emotion. I’m going to watch this video to find out more.
She recited my exact, raw life story! And now I know what can be done next, thank you! Lots of gratitude and good fortune to come across this. ❤️
So happy to hear this Anahita
Describing anger with fire analogies is just so apt because it's very powerful, but also destructive and hard to control.
“My spotlight moment” that statement gives me so much hope
This was GREAT!!! I've been looking for this information for 40+ years. Thank you so much!
OMG. This resonated with me to the core. I've been treating my anxiety and troubled psychie as depression now for 6 months. Last week at the weekly meeting workshop. I said I'm not depressed I'm fcuking angry and need anger management. Listening to this hit the nail on the head. I've been barking mad up the wrong tree. I see the light. Thank you
So grateful this resonated Hudson, thank you so much for sharing this.
Have you ever heard that depression is anger turned inward?
I absolutely erupted at someone I love so dearly and ruined a special moment and I can’t stop the guilt right now. I’ve bottled up my feelings for so long and thought I was coping
Your human so forgive yourself. This person probably knew they were getting away with it.
We are born hot and learn through suffering, to be warm. It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa The path to wisdom is easy to express, err and err and err again, but less and less and less.
I almost want to rewatch this. It hit home for sure.
Brilliant, wise, funny, and touching! Juna is pioneering the world of mindful anger. Love how she invites us to befriend our anger and use it for true good!
Thanks for recommending this video! It wasn't what I expected and exactly what I needed!
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
The kind of anger I am dealing with, none of the talk I watched so far really solve it and helped me to deal with it, but I still enjoy watching them everytime when I get angry. hopefully or luckily I can find the way to deal with the anger I have.
We are born hot and learn through suffering, to be warm. It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa The path to wisdom is easy to express, err and err and err again, but less and less and less.
Thank you. Felt like someone was telling my story.
This made me cry. Good to know that my progress is going in the right direction.
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa The path to wisdom is easy to express, err and err and err again, but less and less and less.
Our public school system and society in general teach kids to stuff anger. The traditional "wisdom" that teachers, principals, liberal family sitcoms, and traditional martial arts teach is to "walk away", 'it takes more of a man to walk away". This is really teaching kids to be doormats and stuff anger. The long-term effect is to turn them into anger eruptors.
This is one of the best and helpful Ted Talks I have ever heard.
Finally! Thank you for presenting anger as a healthy emotion. I work with batterers who are sent to me as a last resort. Counseling and anger management hasn't worked. They deny their anger and when I explain that they have to understand that anger can be healthy, they tell me that goes against everything they've been taught.
This information you provide is amazing. You are wonderful. Thank you for all you do.
I have been suppresing my anger for a long time and this makes my head hurts. I cannot sleep. I am constantly tired and grumpy. I'm still trying to get over it and I've been struggling to fight it days by days. I know what and who caused my anger but it's just so difficult to solve my problems, since they relate to finance and money. The only thing that helps me feel better, even though I know this isn't right, is that the people who treated me badly will get all the karma they deserves, and the problems are solved. But this takes time, a very long time.
Omg that made me cry. Well delivered. Thank you
My story; Born in a violent household, violated by my parents 24 years, Married another abusive/controlling husband, rejected by my three children for divorcing my toxic ex. Violated by my ex 13 years after the divorce. These experience has made me hid my true feelings, I do anger internally within myself, but outside of myself I don't. If someone upset me I write them as I don't cope with confrontation as I afraid of being hit, this is from decades of violence I was tortured by. So My internal anger is justifiable and not poison like these people that have commented here. Bad parents cause the issue that why adults turn into horrible people or withdrawn like me. There are about millions of adults who have been abused in childhood then never had a voice and even now these scars never heal.
I hold the world's 1st and only SACRED RAGE WORKSHOP INTENSIVE and every single woman has has massive deep healing results that are permanent and on a DNA CELLULAR LEVEL....and in only 10 days! Our 4th one is this Monday if you are interested love! 🔥🔺️🔥
Take martial arts classes, first little step
❤️
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Juna - what a tremendously insightful and heart touching talk. I had tears in my eyes when that part of you said "stop leaving yourself," because I can relate. I'm leading men's groups through an exploration of anger, and your insights are incredibly helpful. Thank you!
I been hurt and bullied but i learn to stand up to any challenge, being assertive and use of Humor.
Mine emerged only a few years ago. Prior to that I was a stuffer - a good girl. The day I became an erupter I didn’t even recognize myself. I’m fact, what I recognized was the behaviors of my abusers I vowed to never be like. Now I erupt far more frequently than I’d like to admit and worry that I will always be hijaked by the anger. I’m happy that this talk emphasizes acceptance of anger rather than shame; Shaming myself over my anger has only made it worse.
omg... this exactly where I am at with my life at this moment. I don't comment much, but this is deep.
I used to be an anger stuffer and lately I became anger erupter
Furui Ren Therapy is a SCAM it’s a Business.
Thank you so much for sharing this - I am very grateful
Thank you for providing insight and acceptance of our emotions. This video is helping me with self acceptance and understanding. You truly were amazing!
I appreciate this content and speaker. Need this at this point of time as my body is feeling the symptoms - stomach pain, back pain, neck pain, migrain.
Thank you. We are taught for so many years that we aren't allowed to be angry, that it is a bad thing. I feel so much better knowing that anger is my friend.
When I was in my teens, that movie Anger Management (one with Adam Sandler) kinda helped me understand that anger is not to be suppressed instead, be released in a healthy way. I can't say I am successful at this every time, but at least I knew what I should be doing instead
Nope. It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
I apply that kind of mindfulness in my life for years. Its very helpful for myself.
After a recent spell of feeling overwhelmed with my anger and not knowing what to do with it, I realized how ESSENTIAL it was for me to have a dance off with myself, and fully let loose. After burning some of it off, the endorphins and joy kick in. I wish I had realized this sooner. Will still be employing the other techniques Juna mentioned too.
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Powerful. In a place of anger right now in life, unable to or rather afraid to express myself. Every word resonates. Good job, and thank you
We are born hot and learn through suffering, to be warm. It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa The path to wisdom is easy to express, err and err and err again, but less and less and less.
"Anger reveals our boundaries. It heals trauma"
“You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger;”
James 1:19 NASB2020
Thank you! This helps confirm my intuition and welcomes my will to improve with my anger, not without it.
It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa
Very very very lovely and effective ... Thank you for sharing your gift with the world 💗
I was feeling angry. then I searched and watched this video. I understood I'm suppressing anger and I have the same problems with my boundaries you had. Thank you for sharing your perception. now I understand I don't need to suppress it. instead, I let it set my boundaries.
keep it up!! same here
Online - I am an stuffler when it comes to anger to not hurt anyones feelings.
In real life - I am an erupter, I yell , I kick, I punch, i swear and get a head ache. I basically kick logic out of the window
So this video absolutely helped a little.
Really appreciate this. Super insightful and gave me a different perspective on how to handle bursts of anger. Thank you!
Good to hear. Good luck, Laura.
Laura Yates Cry out to Jesus, pour it all out to Him, holding nothing back. Church rarely helps as usually full of gossips or narcissistic abusers who will betray and make you more angry. Faith is not religion, there's liberty in Jesus. Definitely recognising and naming the anger in the moment helps. Submit to God and resist the dev!l. See Dr Caroline Leaf 21 day plan to behaviour change on youTube also science based.
Be patient with yourself beloved, for you are precious in His sight ❤️
*"Anger is just anger. It isnt good. It isnt bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. Its like anything else. You can use it to build or destroy. You just have to make the choice."*
*- Jim Butcher*
I’m glad I’ve watched this video
Hahaha
I'm a major growler!!!
Grrrrr
You are awesome. Thanks for this info. Anger heals trauma!!! I knew that mad at everyone telling me to let it go.
Jaw dropping. I needed this talk sooooo badly today. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.
If we were taught to understand energy and laws of physics and, the law of karma which is based on physics, we wouldn’t kid ourselves into thinking that anger is OK. Each one of us is a little generator of energy, we send it out to the world and it loops right back to us. Sometimes the flow of energy is slow in coming back to us and other times it’s remarkably fast. Positive energy, or negative energy. It doesn’t matter it is nonjudgmental, the law of Physics delivers back to us exactly what we have sent out. There’s a saying there’s no such thing as righteous anger.The key to handling difficult situations or people who treat you poorly isn’t anger, it’s detachment. In detachment there isn’t any karma. We are non-reactive, we aren’t engaging or Reacting in negative way with someone or something that has hurt us, offended us, or betrayed us. Only in detachment, compassion, detached love, and respect for all of life can we grow spiritually. Anger is definitely not the answer.
Beautiful! I needed this!
Wow amazing thank you so much!!!!!i really helps
I sometimes get really angry because people get annoying and stubborn so there is a fight....
My advice...let them go...there are Thousand s of prepared people to make you feel great and welcome. Those are the really nice ones to be connected.
Thank you, I needed this so badly right now as my anger has come up through studying to become a hypnotherapist. ❤️
We are born hot and learn through suffering, to be warm. It hurts to hold one's temper. Anger is temper and one should never lose one's temper because it is by being tempered that iron becomes steel and it the same as that with a person's will. No pain, no gain. It also applies to the mind, not only the body. Just my understanding...........falundafa The path to wisdom is easy to express, err and err and err again, but less and less and less. P.S. Forget the hypnotherapy bit, truth-compassion-tolerance
WELL SPOKEN, INSIGHTFUL, KNOWLEDGEABLE. THANK-YOU JUNA FOR SHARING.
Very educational and intelligent. Thank you for the insight. Words of Wisdom to share!
She’s crushed my heart
She has such a soothing voice😍
I was furious with anger, I watched this: it helped.
Thanks for this information. I am going to apply these tools.
Amazing! Thank you for share this!
She's just a good story teller. I'd like to look at her in a traffic jam after a hard day. To control your own anger is the hardest thing ever to everyone.
I think her point is (and she talks about it in her story) that she's been always repressing it, and the solution is not about not feeling angry, but listening to it and making it an ally to fight for whatever changes may be done. Knowing when to act on it. many people clicked on this video to stop feeling angry, and that's just not it. Wanting to stop feeling angry will only make you angrier.
Easy for you to type from behind your computer screen. Takes so much courage for you to comment critically. You're so courageous.
The video that i was looking for for years, I just realized a lot of things that i have note realized before, thank youuuuu
So happy the video resonates Mohamed :)