What no one talks about is how many DADS pushed us toward education and independence. My dad and grandpa warned me about men more than my mom ever did. I'll never forget my grandpa telling me " Never put yourself in a position to be stuck with someone out of necessity because then you're a captive and not a spouse." This was a traditional carribbean man. I was 12 when he told me that and now at 30 in a healthy equally yoked relationship...I'm so glad I was listening.
Yes, my African father told me that no man on the planet can make or break you only you can do that. He also told me to be financially independent, he said give that man the right to feed you and you give that man the right to starve you!
@@mjohnson1741 we must have the same dad. Cos that man pushed me through law school and would probably smack me in the face if I start spewing tradwife shit.
My husband encouraged me to get a career and have my own money. He pays all the bills and still does for me. All I do is pay my car note and cater to our family. We spoil each other.
Your situation is the reverse of the video where your husband carries all the risk and you don't in case you switch up on him. How would a man protect himself in such a situation so that all his sacrifice, like the woman in the video, doesn't go to waste in case of a change in his wife's behavior?
Mom always told us to always make sure you have your own. Never depend on anyone for anything. People change and spousal financial abuse is real. Better go make your own money.
My parents were married for 11 years. My mom was a homemaker at the request of my dad. He told her, "i want my wife to just sit at home and look pretty." When i was 7, that man left us one day after work. Telling my mom that he just couldnt be married anymore. His mistress was waiting across the street. My mother sold our furniture and clothes in order to get the rent together for the month. We wound up evicted the next month. I was playing outside a couple of months later when they repossessed the car. Never in my life would i give a man that much power over me. Never
My great aunt said one thing in my father’s and another thing. My father said always be able to take care of yourself because I don’t want to beg a man to buy you a pair of drawz And my great aunt said, “the same Hand that can feed you; Can starve you!” In other words, always be able to take care of yourself
I believe there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother. However, I don't believe it is wise to depend on a person for solely everything. The woman in the video was 100 percent correct.
There is a lot things wrong with being a SAHM. If you have babies under 6 months, even a year less, then it is completely understandable to be at home. After that, there is no reason for you to be home 24/7, 7 days a week without at least a part time job.
@@eve3363 And where does a woman put those four kids while she's at her part-time job? That's 1k a week in daycare costs. How much she making at this part-time job?
@@MissKashira If you have 4 children in daycare age, that means you were irresponsible and didn't plan your children well. You could only have 4 children in daycare if you had twins and even still, you had one set of twins, common sense would tell you to hold off for a bit if you want more children. Next, if you work part time then, the children will be going to day care part time as well. You won't be spending $1k a week. Finally, it takes a village to raise a child. Too many parents today want to be independent when they have the help or they rush to have children young when everyone around them is still trying to gather themselves. If you work part time, you can have relatives, close friends, and trusted church members watch out for your children. Finally, even if it's only you and the dad, someone can work overnight while the other works in the day time. People today don't have common sense and don't know how to make things work. Too lazy and selfish but want the biggest responsibility which is to raise a life.
@@eve3363 It's easy to say "shoulda, coulda, woulda" but the woman in the car with four small children has already had them. She can't shove them back in. So what now? And I'm assuming in your hypothetical where one parent is working days, the other nights and they give up on ever seeing each other again, they are both doing equal labor in the home with the cooking, cleaning, scheduling appointments, shopping, etc. And it's not all on her after she's worked all night with her body still aching from childbirth and one of her three kids still breastfeeding. You do realize the situation you're describing is the number one reason for divorce, right? The woman realizes if she leaves that's one less person she has to clean up after and if her ex-husband has visitation, there are days she can actually rest. A whole generation of women tried to have it all. They burned out. It didn't work.
I’m triggered because last year my ex husband legit watched me and my daughter get into a vehicle that almost killed us, the tire rod was rotten and I didn’t know how bad it was. He never really cared to look at my car or pay attention to that kind of stuff. But he wanted to throw me and my child out so he could be with his work buddy in the army. Long story short I got to Georgia and I went straight to a mechanic that man told me baby God literally spared you and your daughter. He said if you’d went another mile you and your baby would be history. All I could do is cry, cry because I didn’t know that Jesus loved me as much as he did too get us away from that situation. I thank God I’m no longer with that young man. I have a job. I’ve gotten two promotions in a year. I’ve gained everything I never could keep when I was with him. God is able, so too any woman reading this please always trust God! Don’t trust man, don’t even trust my words. Trust the spirit of God in my words. If he brought me out of the darkness he can for you. ❤❤❤❤
Some men are bad luck, period. They have God’s judgment because of their wicked ways. Life got better for you when you got away from him and his evil energies. 🕊️
I had a baby for my ec partner almost 2 years ago then he abandoned us, paid 50 pounds 3 times then bounced abandoning me and our son. Took him to court and had the audacity to lie that i had another relationship therefore doubts the paternity of our son smh. He said he paid towards maintenance and then stopped frkm the Goodness of his heart. Looked me deas in the eye as he said this even after a year long relationship .Court ordered a,DNA test. I cant wait for the look on his face but honestly deep down knows he is the father. Some men, oh well
I just left my boyfriend of 3 years and have known him for 30 years because he became a Kevin Samuels disciple. He refuses to put my name on the house we were looking at, he wanted me to quit my job so I can be totally dependent on him and didn’t support me going to law school to reach my goal😒 thank goodness for high self esteem and therapy. I will never put myself in a vulnerable position for hopes of a ring. I can buy my own and will be buying my own house next year🎉 Thank you for your commentary it’s good to know some black men have sense!!
Good girl. I had an x who defended Kevin Samuels all the time and was talking always negative about BW. I asked him did he care about BW feelings and he said no. He loved listening to KS videos. One day we were in the car and I turned on the Shumake way video defending Jessica Gardner and her being average at best and he told me to turn it off because his voice was irritating him and he would rather hear it from a woman. He asked why I was playing it with him because he thought I was talking about him. (Which I was ) I turned it off and stopped talking and he kept asking me questions because he knew I was upset He was triggered. I was done. I broke up with him
@@mjohnson8206 It feels good to know someone has had the SAME experience as me!! I remember we were driving 4 hours to go to the beach to celebrate MY birthday and he immediately put on Kevin Samuels. I turned it off and said I’m not listening to a man belittling BW and he got triggered and called me “masculine” and used that damn “SIGN language” acronym. I should’ve left then but I stayed trying to disprove his negativity towards BW!! I refuse to ever date another BM that’s hates BW but wants to date one!! It’s gaslighting and narcissism at it’s best!!
As a man I can’t imagine detering my wife from going into a high paying career because of insecurity and control . Why would u not want your woman to be self sustainable in case you lost a job or decide u want to build your own biz which requires capital and her support . Kids don’t stay 1-5 yrs forever , before you know it they are in school 8 hours a day and into extra curricular activities . Your woman has to be able to do something she is passionate about . Also in the event of divorce a woman making what you make give or take, more or less means your child support will be minimal .
@@francisikwueme1688 with me knowing him for 30 years before we started dating, he knew I had dreams and aspirations. But, once he started listening to Kevin Samuels and got into the red pill and manosphere community he turned into a black woman hating, toxic masculine man. I’m still very triggered and overcoming all the belittling I suffered but I’m so happy to be done!! I’m so glad you as a man have your mindset more men need it!!!
No black shirt ?! Lol Never again. I was with my children’s father and was a SAHM. NEVER will I ever do that again. Currently back in school. To all my single women with no children. DO NOT fall for the “let me take care of you” line. Especially if you don’t have a career.
Yt Asian and Hispanic men usually take care of their women. All the women and myself included are taken care of. My mom has been spoiled trophy wife her entire life and my dad set her up financially in case anything happens to him. Same for my grandpa and my brothers with their wives. It can happen to anyone but if you’re dating someone where it’s in their culture to take great care of their wife and kids, usually they will and will set them up for life in case anything happens to them. Edit: All the old and young women in my family
@PlaywithDaisy "my dad set her up financially" now was this before or after jim crow poverty, black codes, or the CIA/crack era. You ppl need to mind your damn business.
@@denisebycapricorn if you’re on the internet, don’t expect people to “mind their business.” Maybe you need to stay off of the internet if you can’t stand to deal with other people on the internet.
@PlaywithDaisy lmfaoo you little dog eater. Maybe you should mind your business. If you dont want ppl commenting you to mind your business, then YOU stay off the internet 🤷🏾♀️
I had a husband who was military and wanted me to be a stay at home mom! He was a compulsive cheater and he knew that I had nowhere to go with the kids as he repeatedly cheated. I used his GI bill went to school during one of his many deployments, got my LPN, moved out and got a place for me and my kids. I’m now an RN and working on my bachelors degree!! Never again will I ever be a stay at home mom! I need my own bag I’ll never go through the feeling of wanting to leave but having no financial mean to go!!! Women level up 💪🏽👏🏼👏🏼 have your own security blanket like some men ensure they have to have the upper hand as you at home full time with no money and taking care of the kids
I bet you one dollar his philadering ass didn't know that spouses could use the GI Bill. Good for you, and your kids will be better off with a happy mother.
@@RAJOHN-ke7mcI bet he is walking around saying she took advantage of him while he was overseas and used him then left and took the kids. I’ve seen men say that about a woman they mistreated who got wise and then left, first hand. It makes me chuckle to myself how loudly they expose their ignorance. They lucky it’s not my place and I don’t want the heat because I would comment the truth and embarrass them in front of the fam when they start popping off about how bad women are. It’s sad to see.
I been through my ex husband putting me out the house multiple times and when I finally decided to move on he didn’t like that but now thank god hallelujah praise god I’m able to provide for me and my daughter in nursing school thank you 🙏🏽 Jesus Christ for providing and protecting us amen 🙏🏽
One piece of advice my SAH mom, married to a GOOD man (my dad) gave me, and it was some of the best advice she ever gave me. Don't EVER depend solely on ANY man. My response as a 15 year old. " Why mom? Because he may lose his job, lose his health, lose his life, lose his interest to take care of his family and stop/leave, or no man may ever come?" Her response. "Exactly." Never put your whole subsistence in the hands of anyone - this goes for women AND men.
This happened to me. My ex husband left me with NOTHING. I will never not have my own income again. I divorced him, went to nursing school and started a business.
Being married doesn’t 100% guarantee you protection from being a single mom or getting divorced. Marriage is a form of protection for the woman she receives as the highest honor as the woman in his life. However, women should always make their own money in a creative way. There could be emergencies also business funding needed etc. Build yourself up to protect yourself for future issues.
HE should be honored to have A WOMAN in HIS life. Also there is NO PRORECTION for the black woman whether she is married or not married to a black man.
Or if you do plan to be a stay at home mom and stop working, Sign a Prenup or Postnup!! to protect yourself and your children, in case he tries to abandon you.
It sure doesn’t. This also why men of other communities are quick to kill their wives for leaving because they do not want to pay child support and alimony…
The average child support payment is 50 bucks a week, and 50% don't even pay it. But people never want to talk about facts just their feelings. It's insane. We don't want to be single moms so we're not having kids. I refuse to be a married single mom or let some guy use his money to control me, been there hated it! Now I have 3 degrees and a wonderful husband, but if we divorce I'd never date again. People have lost their minds in the last decade.
Yet, Landlords are evicting single black women at a higher than any other group. Has nothing to do with men, race, or relationships. You can always tell who DIDN'T have a father.
My friend said if she’s a stay at home mom the only way she will do it is under an LLC and her husband to pay a salary. So if anything happen she has paid into social security and has a job history and money, if he can’t afford it and bills she wouldn’t do it. She would take maternity leave and head back to work
@@zowdeezowdee not sure what’s funny my friend works with health insurance . A lot of the people she signs up are older with a deceased husband the wives have no 401 k no work history no social security and it’s bleak! So if I am married tending to house kids school activities and he had a problem with a salary or simply didn’t have to budget for that I would continue to work. So now there’s an issue with reminingnwith my husband and continuing to work? Or stopping my life to live for my family? If the second choice is mine it would have to make finical sense for us now and 30 years from now , if not I wouldn’t be able to do it. Additionally we would both need life insurance in the event something happen to me as well . This is proper planning many black homes don’t discuss . She informed me how to do this under a trust. It makes valid sense. So again what’s funny? It a man doesn’t want to pay that or can’t pay it then I would BE WORKING
I'm so sorry, I must have read a funny meaning into it. I'm Nigerian so I don't really understand. I read it as she having her own stuff and being her own person, deciding to go back to work whenever. My apologies 🙏.
It’s crazy that he, a man, can articulate so well why so many women move the way they do. If HE can see that means other men could if they wanted to open their eyes to it.
They see it they just don’t care. Most of the men who push this narrative have low self esteem and they are intimidated by the black woman’s resilience.
My father pushed me to be independent and it wasn’t always easy but it sets you free from mistreatment Praying she keeps moving forward and things get better for that mother and her children
And get a whole week off from fatherhood and only see the kid on the weekends. Those are the dusty dads. Real fathers are always seeking out their kids.
This is what people forget - these things happened and parents, including fathers, told their daughters to pursue education and a job so that, if anything happens, they won't be left to suffer.
I've been breadcrumb by two males. They both pulled the financial rug from under my feet for women they really liked and wanted to invest in. I was just a place holder helping them to build. This wears down on a woman psychologically. One of these two males fractured my ribs in two places. I blacked out and ended up hospitalized. I never saw it coming. The other male left me for a transgender. I completely understand why women want to be single.
I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. I hope you don't give up though. Take a break from dating and love yourself. Introduce yourself to the true and living God and follow his commands. You'll find that you attract human beings who are kind instead of demons who want to destroy. BTW, leave unrealized men alone. You are a builder. Ask God to send a man who will marry and build with you. YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!!!!
I'm sorry for what you go throw. Heal from you mental cruelty and than take step by step your own life back. You have now the control, protect your boundary and tell other what you want and don't let you put down from a men, whom not respect and cherish you. ❤
My granny was born in 1933( God bless her) and she has always told us all to have our own secret money.She said if your husband gives you the finances, before anything else, you pay yourself a fair wage for the work you've done.I have older great aunts who talk about having to do things they didn't want to do be they had nowhere to go or they were not going to be able to buy basic household needs. Some men also don't believe there is such a thing as no in a marriage. The only existence that you should blindly tryst and love is the God you serve, that love is unconditional
Another thing to add, a 50/50 man will never be a provider, ever! You can give birth and they will still expect your half. Just keep a stash of money no one knows about in case you have to leave or he leaves if you’re staying at home. Some men want that so that they can bully you and mistreat you knowing you can’t do anything about it. Most men are NOT natural providers. A woman can be a stay at home mom and if he decides he wants his secretary he can clean out the bank accounts and drop you penniless. A man literally did it to his wife that had three of his children! He didn’t give a F if his kids were fed. She had to go through the courts to make him pay child support and some men will try for custody out of spite (guess how I know 🙃) just don’t put your eggs all in one basket. Be careful.
My ex tried to do this to me. He isolated me by moving us 1000 miles away from where I’m from, turned everybody in this new state against me, tried to get me a criminal record so I’d be completely dependent on him and when he started doing that I knew I had to get tf away from him. I left with nothing. Still in that same state sleeping on couches and working my ass off. Ever since that I’ve been traumatized by dating. That relationship alone changed me forever. I’ve been single for 4 years now since then and am just now realizing how bad I have PTSD from that man. I’ll NEVER put my all into a man or relationship again… I’m back on my feet now tho but NEVER tf again 💯
@@Lelesbratz except he stole my baby in the process. My oldest daughter tried to get me to leave when I was pregnant before it's too late but I was too afraid because I was so dependent on him, now when he threw me out because I gained weight after giving birth and got too old (30th birthday) I was helpless completely. I couldn't get custody because I was homeless and he had a house. It ever dawned on me that he could do that.
Omg how many times have I personally seen a man tell his “traditional” wife not to “upset” him or he’s not paying the rent or mortgage anymore. It’s all about control. They know the woman gave up the career and the “lead” to them. It’s the perfect plot to take advantage. It’s horrible especially when you’re taught to see the best in your bf/husband/father. It’s sick.
Yeah it can suck if the leader is petty and abusive like that. But news flash, if there’s a huge income disparity, he could easily do this as well. For example, if I make 500k and Im living with some wife thats insane enough to go out there and waste her time working for say a 50k salary, her income effectively has zero power on our relationship. If I’m not being an emotionally abusive dickhead, what satisfaction would she get from grinding all day only to look at her bank account at the measly amount she brought in that month, only to later watch me blow through an equivalent amount of money from my end like its worth nothing to me. After a long enough period of time she’s going to wake up and realize “why am I sacrificing my life for some chump change when this man has already proven he’s trustworthy and treats me well?” Just as an insurance policy? And she’s going to keep that up forever regardless of how she’s treated? Doubtful
@@joelt1002 she might enjoy her work and routine, she might enjoy a sense of accomplishment from helping people or being a part of projects, she might be wise enough to know for a fact that one day her man could up and leave for whatever reason and she will have something to fall back on. there are so many ppl out there and they could have very different perspectives from yours.
One thing I learned in my first marriage to put a roof over my own head. I went through this myself. I was born on Father's day and never had a Father. I have plenty of reasons not to trust men.
Most women do not go into motherhood with the intention to struggle. If a person is ready to be a parent they should also be ready to work and provide for them. If a woman doesn't want children. That is her choice but I do not think it is a great idea for mothers to tell their daughters to aspire to be childless if that is not what they want? We raise our children to be independent and give them guidance about adult life.
@@tcampbell1106no it does need to be said do they will know it is an option to not struggle. I learned that I didn’t want kids on my own but other may need to hear that it’s not always sunshine being a mother. I will remain childless and free from struggle and stress.
@@tcampbell1106 i fell for the "you will be unhappy and lonely later in in life' bs. Daughters need to be able to choose without society guilt tripping them. Always choose you, each and every time. Men do the same
@@tboss8243same here I choose to stay child free due to not alot of success stories while my parents influence me to have them it kinda gives me icks 😂
I had a guy throw me out but thank god I had my own stuff. He didn’t want me to have my own stuff. It taught me to keep my career and never fully depend on a man.
Whew. I went thru some of this. He didn’t “put me out” but made life unlivable in “his house” which he reminded me of daily. It got to the point he would actually kick over or drop stuff and say, NOW clean that up! Or refuse to help me, complain about “my ish” being there but his was actually the mess. I once came home from work (pregnant with a toddler) and he’d have a dirty condom just laying on TOP OF the trash 🤮final straw I slept on a friends couch until I had our baby and then got into a shelter… fast forward 5 years and we are doing amazing thank God! Working FT in a stable career and have my own place, now he wants sympathy bc HES homeless 🙄
Wow, God turned the tables. He reaped what he sowed. Not only did this man abused you, he also abused the child and the unborn putting more stress on your pregnancy. Justice is served ❤
Won't he do it! Thanking God for your transition.....I wouldn't pay that man any mind. This humbling season is for growth purposes. Let him feel every moment of it. Hopefully, he learns from this, but many do not.
Good. Serves him right …I have no sympathy for people like him. Now he know how you felt. And it’s worse for him because he’s on the streets now. His nasty behavior and God caused him to reap what he sowed. I’m so sorry you went through this but it makes me feel good that he feels the pain now. That’s the only way people like him will learn a lesson. Oh well too bad for him
Be a stay at home mom/wife if you choose but have something to fall back on. Something you can do to earn money just in case…and us “boss babes” do know how to do domestic things. We do cook, clean, nurture our loved ones, etc etc 🙂
To add to the conversation, it’s really nice that you nurture your loved ones, cook, clean, etc. But remember that the man is supposed to do the same for you and the family. Don’t kill yourself with stress doing everything at home AND working outside the home.
This is so scary to me, like what do I do now? Bc im not having kids if im not married, a lot of these men are traitors and will cheat, no loyalty. I don’t hate men, im just scared of them… and this generation of men are especially weak in their morals. But then Im looked at crazy bc im about my money… then im also looked at crazy by other women bc im waiting for marriage and stay in the house. Im so lost.
your not lost lovely! Continue to do what's in your heart. I don't know if you believe in God, but have faith and seek him for guidance and understanding. If you do that, trust you are always going in the right direction.
I feel that so deep in my soul. Men are scary ASF. I was just saying: "How is God supposed to 'send help' when I feel this way about men?" Then I remember that He's God for a reason, so I'll just have to trust him
I was lucky to have experienced the beauty of being a sahm mom but I could have returned to my career(s) if necessary which is what made it such an easy transition. I left work with my debts paid and my own personal savings. We lived well and our son had progressed so much. Now, im a widow and I don't have to work another day if I don't want to... but id rather have my husband and my son have his daddy. I'll be honest and say that i wish my husband was still here instead of the trash we keep seeing. He was genuine and seemingly rare. Sad that the beautiful love stories end so tragically.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have my career and want to get married and become a stay-at-home mom. My boyfriend and I are working towards that for when the time comes. Watching this video is very conflicting but I know that in my heart, taking care of our babies is my desire. Thank you for sharing that in many cases, it does turn out for the best. I will keep God first and he will lead me in the way that I should go.
No Shumake, women are not afraid. We just not taking the chance any more. We not taking the risk anymore to be stuck and have our dreams deferred. I had 1 baby and never did it again. Now at 40, it is the best decision I have ever made in my life. I never took the chance again on my life thinking about love, SEGGS, and "gotta have a man". Nah. We not afraid, we playing SMARTER now. Who wanna fall in love for a character and a charade and when it fall apart, men tell us you should have chose better. NOW we NOT choosing you and we CHOOSING to be free with our lives and not have their kids. Us women have seen our mothers and grandmothers and aunts live the traditional life right to the grave BM give is little to hold on to. We choosing BETTER, like yall say.
My kids have always known as long as I BREATH, THEY HAVE A PLACE TO STAY. Married or not work 3 jobs if you have to, but have your own money. Buy what you need, put your kids 1st. Because unfortunately men will switch up on you at any given moment and leave you stranded. I got a husband and still keep my own pocket right. You never know............
THESE MEN CONFUSED AS HELL -men SAY 'im not taking care of a woman thats she is just a dependent" -Then they backdoor and say " I WANT A TRADITIONAL WOMAN" -Men say working women are masculine and will die alone But then say women need to have their own koney cause nobody is going to take care of them 🙄 MY FAVORITE IS THE MEN WHO SCREAM THEY WANT A TRADITIONAL WOMAN THEN COMPLAIN WHEN THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR STUFF
As an immigrant woman that has seen wives and kids kicked onto the streets by their husbands, this is triggering to see the same thing happens to American women… I can’t believe there are still American adult women who don’t have jobs/careers of their own and are at the mercy of a man…EVERY adult should be able to feed themselves/their kids and the fact that some women will CHOOSE to be vulnerable just so they can flex about staying home and having a provider is insane to me..the first thing I did when I can rot america was get a job/education and stand on my own 2 feet..I am married to a man who does provide for me and our kids but I also have my own savings, job, retirement fund ect….if need be , I can provide for me and my kids at the drop of a hat….
This is why many dudes because passport bros, its because many feel like they are losing power over women here in this country. So they go overseas looking for women they can control. This is why many foreign women are making videos saying that they don't want passport bros over there, because they bring that same toxic behavior with them.
Here's what men don't understand. A man can walk away or pass away and leave a woman with nothing. My mom had to leave my dad, and my grandfather passed when my mom was young. Both my grandmother and mother taught me to have my own because you can't predict the future, and they did not want me to experience the hardships they did. That's wisdom, but many men see it as selfishness.
And abusive men hate women. They love to see us suffer. And to know that we suffer after they die and leave us with nothing is at best, not a concern, at worst, exactly what they want.
I'm not gonna lie I totally put my faith in my ex husband at the time. I left my surgical tech job to be a stay at home mom/wife. That was my husband's request and when I told him please help me it was overwhelming breastfeeding and waking up every hour and a half. He got my car repoed when I was pregnant intentionally. He stop doing so many things once I stayed at home. It was what I can describe as a trap he didn't wanna help with our daughter one bit. He never helped with anything changing diapers ANYTHING. It through me into postpartum so bad I had to move back with my parents. I couldn't sleep I ended up malnutrition I was loosing my mind. Keep in mind he didn't act like this before marriage or before pregnancy. He ended up telling me he was jealous of our daughter cause she had most of my time and he didn't like that he regretted have a child... y'all I'm not making this up 😢 this was insane and I had to divorce I couldn't cause he kept trying to get me pregnant again. I the hardest lesson just cause I asked for help from him he flipped out and also couldn't stand his own child. This man is starting facts!!!! I haven't even dated I'm busy healing myself an in therapy and working on me. Other things he was aggressive as well I hate talking bad about him but THIS VIDEO IS REAL THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN TO GOOD FEMALE AND I JUST WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW
He was definitely tryna keep her stuck an miserable. I'm glad you outsmarted his ass because truth be told alot of men are just purely jealous of women. We are the shit.!!!! In every way!!! I'm proud of you
I recalled my mom begging my father for two dollars to get a loaf of bread and my mother telling my sister and I later that " you make certain that you have your education and career. "
Usually when a man does that, it's because the woman did something very bad. I'm not saying it happened in this video necessarily, but that's usually the case generally speaking.
@@tommyt264 oh no how horrible of her to ask why he came home late! Truly the worst! Kick out the kids and her stuff! Destroy the evil family because he's just another innocent man victim 😂 //s
@@tommyt264Its ironic how men see other men doing wrong to a woman and they will sympathize with them. Yet when a woman does it to men it’s those hoes ain’t loyal.
I personally haven't had the experience of the woman in the video. HOWEVER, from a young age right through my teens and into adulthood, my Dad always told me to get an education, get a skill, get a job and NEVER depend on anyone else to take care of me. That I should always have my own job and my own money in case I was in a situation where I needed to take care of myself. It's because of my Dad that I've avoided those situations like the woman in the video.
This something my dad taught me too. Though I’m struggling now financially, this is always ingrained in me. I will eventually move out and continue to be independent
My mom was married at 16 and her husband (17) started the abuse 4 years into the marriage. He would take the batteries out of the car and dare her to come out of the house. He would beat her so bad even if someone would speak to her. After having my sister at age 22 he not only left her for his second wife but he took there mobile home with all there belongs. He left my mom with nothing…she found out she was pregnant with me but my stepdad accepted me before I was born….he took my mom in and secured us with everything. He gave us a wonderful childhood…he passed in 2004….today over 35 years later my moms 1st husband was in a major car accident and his family left him to die…my mom is allowing him to live in her storage shed….he’s been there for 3 years now and it’s only because my sister didn’t want him to die…. He is to this day extremely ungrateful and full of hate but life has left him with nothing….I thank God my mom is who she is because I wouldn’t give him my storage shed….he has destroyed it
He abused your mom then has the nerve to be ungrateful that she is basically saving his behind. Ugh. Sisters approval or not, your mom should kick him out and let him get his lesson in humility. Some lessons are meant to be learned.
@@oneshoerrI'm starting to realize enablers are the lifeline to wickedness in society but things are changing. We are in the times of the seven wise virgins and the seven foolish, and these folks are going to find out with this new generation!!!
I was raised to be independent, and today, i am. If i had the mindset of waiting around for a man to take care of me, i doubt i would have achieved some of the things i have today. There is nothing wrong with independence or being a stay at home mom. But, if you do choose the latter, at least have what we call vex money to help cushion you in hard times. Some men change up overnight.
🎯That Part Right There!!! Women/wives Always have yur own Stash/yur own Funds/💵💵 in the bank. Real talk! I'm speak'n from past experiences. Also, my mother & God taught me to Use Wisdom, some good ole fashion Common sense. HalleluJah!
@berrymckockiner5883 have you ever dated men before? It amazes me how you men have no experience with men, but because you are a man, you automatically think you know how all men are. Sometimes it wouldn't kill to hear things from women's experiences, too. We deal with them regularly. And yes, they do change up all the time. Be it they fell out of love or whatever, the main point is, they can and does change up on women all the time.
this literally happened to my mom 2 or 3 years ago. parents got divorced dad re-married a year later and gained more success while my mom suffered to pay the bills, take care of 4 kids , moved 4 times, lost her current apartment 4 weeks ago and lost all of my siblings. this shit is real
Im so sorry Sending prayers for you and your family Tell your mom to either go to trade school Get her LPN license Beauty Or Tech These industries will always pay higher wages
@@12_user111 he was out on child support but never paid. He is a couple thousand behind. This is what really messed my mom up when it came to stability
Every time some men complain about radical feminism they don't want to look in the mirror and see where it comes from. I didn't want to get married unless I had the means to get out if I had to and that's what I would recommend for my daughters.
They don't want to have to consider what women want, which is the current state of affairs currently and some are mad about it. If they want a marriage,they have to consider what she wants as much as she has to consider what they want
Even Proverbs 31 virtuous woman was working. I experienced this as a teenage parent. I currently work from home while still being able to maintain my household duties. There’s no reason for modern women to think they can live a traditional lifestyle with a modern mindset. They have plenty of ways where you can earn money at home. What happens if your partner gets sick or become disable. So it goes beyond the man putting you out. God has blessed us beyond measures with great opportunities nowadays!!
Yes, it's the mindset of choosing your career over your family and raising your children which is the issue, not working. But in this day and age let's be real it is very hard to be independent on one income. I think work ethic is important in women as well, as doing housework and raising children is a lot of work and lazy bums aren't attractive from both genders.
First of all, sir, just consider being called a "simp" by losers a compliment. You're doing something right when you hear that. These ladies should never let any man put them out of their homes, I don't think that's legal anywhere. The lady in the video should have called the police; they probably would have put him out for trying it.
Never, ever, EVER center your entire life around a man and kids. You may be a stay at home mom for a period of time when the kids are small, but please please please please please make sure that you have a skilled trade and / or education and that you have your own money. Have your own bank account that you keep putting money into over the span of time that you're with that man so that when he acts a fool and / or dumps you for that woman he's been having an affair with at work, you can have the money to cry, go to therapy, and move out without being stranded. Most men who have wives that stay at home and don't do anything else view those women as their property. They do not respect the role of homemaker as a job. They just think you belong to them and that they are in control of you. I do not recommend this. Like I said, you may not have a full-out 9 to 5 job, but don't ever make your entire existence revolve around your husband and kids. Go volunteer with stuff, get a part-time gig, write a book or do something.
My son and I went through a very scary time. We learned the hard way to take care of ourselves. Husband went to another state for a job. What we didn't know it was also for his side chick. He hadn't paid the bills for months including the house payment. I'll never forget it.
This is why we say do not solely depend on anyone! I did that being a stay at home mom and was miserable as hell! I have my freedom now and it’s wonderful. Nothing is guaranteed, ladies get yours because people do change.
Wow 😯. I will say, as an “independent woman” this is the very reason why I go so hard for myself. I’ve seen firsthand women that I love suffer mental, emotional and physical abuse from being handicapped due to dependence on men without a contingency plan. To be in their position was one of my greatest fears. I’m grinding getting to the bags as a result. My mother always taught me “Momma may have, and Daddy may have, but God Bless the child who has his own.” 💯
I would not recommend any woman completely depend on a man especially on a black man. I’m a housewife now but only after I secured the bag to have incomes coming in for the rest of my life. My husband still works but I invest for him to make sure his/our money keep growing. I’m like the brokerage firm who manages the budget, savings and investments for our little family.
I watched a video yesterday where a guy who is 57 has been with his girlfriend for 25 years and told her he never wanted kids when they were younger even though she begged him years ago. Now that he is 57 he decided that he wants kids and told her that she has 1 month to move out or he is evicting her. He he wicked to the core. I pray to God she has a good job and somewhere to go in 30 days.
Yeah, I saw that story, it’s so tragic, the man decided he wanted kids after his wife went through menopause at age 53, and thought “I guess the option for kids is gone forever, I’m now gonna go find a woman that’s still fertile, younger, prettier, even though my wife begged me years ago to have children, I didn’t want them back then, and now I’m throwing her out after she devoted her life to me.” That was a sickening story, all valid cautionary real life stories, women have grown up being sold a fantasy where they meet their Prince Charming and make a perfect family together and he takes care of her and they’re so in love etc, and nowadays girls heck even boys are being taught independence at a young age, so they never had to depend on someone later.
I really appreciate your perspective on this modern day gender war. You give very fair commentary. I was on FaceTime with a man who said he wanted to pay 100% of household bills. All I asked was why. He went on a tirade about how ‘you modern black women’ don’t know your value in womanhood and where your true power lies by having a man take care of everything. I told him I’m not all black women and that I ask the question because FINANCIAL ABUSE IS REAL. The women in my family always work because the last thing we want to hear is someone treat us like a child or a burden for wanting something new around the house, wanting better treatment etc and to get the response of “well I pay the bills so you don’t have any say and if you don’t like it you can leave.” That’s unhealthy. That’s not a loving household where a woman can’t get respect in her own home she’s keeping house at. Every household is different and what works for one may not work for another but respect should always be mutual
Excuse me if I'm oversimplifying this but why can't two people come together with their own skills, education, success, careers, resources etc... and just agree to work together in partnership to make each other better and attain more than what they started with? Isn't this the premise of marriage anyways?
That makes perfect sense. Many people attain this. I believe the key issues are trust and power struggle. In order to be successful at what you suggest, there needs to be trust that each individual will do their part.
I mean you are right but here’s the problem you have many many men who like to have control over they’re spouse. Which is including’s wanting their spouse to quite they’re job, trapping them with a children and leaving them with all the responsibilities, don’t want them to put anything in their name so basically they want to have a women depending solely on them aka control so what you said is right, but unless these men worldwide get off of they’re misogynist and control nothing will change. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Yes this is how my husband and i are it honestly works for us and our marriage has gotten better. BUT I still would want to have something just in case something happens(husband passes or gets sick etc etc) being a stay at home wife is cool we truly love it but make sure your spouse is protected just in case. Security and safety is so important and foundational to women(you don't need to be rich) it's our nature we by nature aren't meant to deal with financial struggles even though we do at times that's life.
Trying to gain my composure before commenting is hard. My brothers and I were kids like in that video discarded by my father 30+ years ago. I’m in tears because this resonates on a whole other level now that I’m a SAHM. I’m 41 years old with a masters degree that I gave up to be at home with my children. I pursued education and financial stability before marriage just so I wouldn’t have to I live in constant fear that this could be me and my 4 children one day. Those scars never heal but with God I’ve put my full trust in Him. While I believe God’s structure for the family is inherently good. I would be remissed to acknowledge that the current state of our society is extremely frail and in need of repair which makes both men and women skeptical of relationships all together. I pray that the heart of this video is heard loud and clear and we can start healing and building up the family where we are blessed and God is glorified.
“Gods structure of marriage “ is u not having a means of livelihood & contributing meaningfully to the society asides producing children which any other mammal can do? Am sorry if I sound harsh but am a Christian and am irritated u are purporting God to be authoriser of SAHM 💁🏽♀️ Pls read Proverbs 31 &leave God out of ur personal decision NOT TO WORK
Damn, when you read that comment about the girl whose dad was a breadwinner and horrible, I was in the exact same situation with my dad! I didn't even think of how that affected me until I heard it out loud. He too was a dog and reckless and when my mom had enough and left and took all three of us girls with her (17, 11, and 9 months) he cut us all off and left us to fend for ourselves. Refused to support us and he started a new family 😢 ( he did them the same though, but not as bad because they were boys) I had to work at 13 years old and take care of my baby sister because my mom had to work 3-4 jobs to keep us all feed and sheltered. She did it all with no government assistance too! I learned that I have to be on guard and never put full trust in anyone because even your blood can dog the shit out of you. 😢 I’m 43 now and my thought process is still the same and will probably never change!
This was a great video. I believe there are forces in society that are invested in destroying black families and it kills me. At the end of the day it’s our children that suffer. I’ve been a nurse for 16 years and cared for hundreds of men in a local STI clinic who were lost and broken. This and my personal experiences has made me very cautious. I want nothing more than to submit to and nurture a loving husband. But until a man can prove he has good character and until I can feel fully emotionally physically and spiritually safe with him, I am at peace living independently. I’m thankful my education has allowed me to make my own way in life and to be an asset to my community and my family (my parents, elders and younger brother) who I care for
OMG!! I have thought the same thing!! I really truely believe white supremacists push these stereotypes & teybto convince black men to behave this way to keep us divided. Remember how the the Israelites infant sons were killed to keep the population down so they wouldn't be out numbered? Well it's being done today only instead if murdering our babies they found ways to keep us divided
Right that’s why many BW are saying they would rather be single. I told this man that was trying to holla the same thing and he said it was something wrong with me because I told him I didn’t want to date anyone until it was what you said. He started talking negative about BW. Saying that’s why we will be single mothers and will die alone but he has options and can sleep with as many women at his age of 38. I told him he is the type of man a good women would run from and he’s not going to be happy because you reap what you sow good luck with that you won’t ever get me
I believe its spiritual warfare the devil has been ruining families for years it’s the same old dusty text book he pulls out and it works like a charm if you play the field
I told my boyfriend that we both came in this relationship with needs. I should not meet all your needs or vice versa. Our needs should be met simultaneously.
If you want to be a SAHM you need to have a plan. You need to have an emergency account with $15,000 or more. And a clause in the prenup for alimony, child support, and a cheating clause. And have an education and some type of income (whether your husband is giving it to you out of his paycheck, part time job, online business… something.)
This! This is why I’m vowing to stay happily single and successful for the rest of my life. I’ve had enough married men hit on me to know marriage means nothing to most men. I’ve never had a man throw me out and I’d never give one the chance to do so. My heart goes out to women going through this 😢
Remember according to Gabriel Union, this topic is why she felt more comfortable going 50/50 with her husband .. He said some hurtful things & it traumatized her in a way .. She wanted to avoid him ever being able to say those things to her again about their assets
It’s so refreshing to see non-toxic opinion from a masculine man who’s spreading good out there to bring men and women together rather than the divisive “trash” (as you say it) that I’ve encountered so much of lately.
Well people can call you a simp, I call it good character. Appreciate you. My daughter has always been told, school, degree, career before marriage. Have an emergency fund if things go south. My abusive dad walked out, leaving us penniless, taught me young. Started working at 13 to take care of myself.
It's disgusting to watch him treat her that way. Absolutely no regard for the children at all. I can't watch it again everything in me is just boiling over. He sounds like he feels empowered doing it which makes my stomach turn.
I am embarrassed as a man to watch that . Kids should never see that or punished like that . If u want to split up or have her out there is a way to do it and implement a succession plan for them to be ok. Then he can go live his life 🤷🏻♂️
I am a man and I agree with your point of view. Even in the worst arguments, I’ve never threatened to kick my Ex out. I wasn’t granted that same courtesy unfortunately, but it taught me that I need to get myself together more so this doesn’t happen in the future. Independence is important for every individual and, in an ideal world, is what makes humble. I am all for anyone becoming a better person, but what gets under my skin is the insane level of arrogance so many people have when they claim to be a “Top G” or “Boss Chick.” You don’t have to disrespect other people to prove you’re “High Value,” that defeats the purpose of being a better person.
Years ago I had a bf that moved to Vegas with his mom and because he had health issues and just because I wanted to be with him I left my own place and job to stay with him (I know dumb) but I figured I could make it anywhere. Anyway once being out there for a while, getting treated like ish by him and taken for granted, I decided to leave. Fortunately I didn’t completely give up my place, someone was subletting it but I was just about to give it up completely but someone talked sense into me. I went back, got my place back and found a new, good job. And was better off.
I had a new boyfriend… I talked about getting a new phone and he said that I should just get on his plan and I could Venmo him and he would pay my phone bill…. That right there was red flag number one. I pay for my own rent which he he didn’t even do… Pay for all my own bills but for some reason he wanted for me to not be in control of my own phone bill? I’ve lived alone for almost a decade and I’m only 28 years old. I’m more financially independent than every guy I’ve ever dated including my most recent ex-boyfriend… The more than I look back the more I realize why do you need to share a bill with me when we share nothing else in life. Weird.
I come from a country where the vast majority of women stay home, aren’t highly educated and don’t work….and it is the cultural norm to expect getting smacked or beat by your husband….you cannot go the police and say your husband beat you because over there they say a man has a right to “ discipline his kids and wife since he is a hardworking g provider !! And the majority of women have ATLEAST been slapped once during their marriage, it is the norm……
People are angry with their personal situations and taking it out on other people on a broad level. People aren’t cookie cutter. We don’t think collectively.
Wow! This was soo heartbreaking to watch! I pray this woman and her children get safe shelter asap! Thank you for this reminder Shumake. While traditional gender roles is the ideal situation for a lot of us, I know I’ve got to keep the income coming in regardless and savings account on swole!
It is 1000% a woman’s responsibility to create her own full life and have education and high income skills for herself A man should be the icing on the cake. I do believe in men providing but what he brings should add to your already existing life Much better when you know you are with someone out of love and choice. Rather than it being because you are broke and have nothing else to survive I do feel like the signs of a man are often there that tell you he is not fully devoted or caring for your well being.
I agree, I was married and had 4 children when I left my husband. He was an abusive, narcissistic, phsycopath, I was pregnant with our child when I was finally able to escape. Since that day I made sure that I worked and maintained a home for my children and myself. You don’t know someone until you know them. In preparation and foresight for our safety. You don’t know someone until you know them. My husband and I had an agreement. I would stay home with the children and support his education until he was complete and then it would be my turn. To the point that he would come home for lunch and I would give him his college assignments that I had completed so that he would get the credits towards his degree. All for him to show his true colors. I was left with my children and nothing to show for years of sacrifice and consistency. Basically starting over at a deficit with no proof or respect. 😬 I continue to strive!🙌🏽 No matter how impossible and difficult the journey has been. It has been worth it! Whatever your going through think it out before you make a move. Remember in your most difficult times. “This Too Shall Pass. “!!!🙏🏽🙌🏽
If you’re married and filing Married Filing Jointly, a SAHM can have a Roth IRA. Most SAHM actually do bring money in. We don’t just sit around the house doing nothing. Some are on social media making money nowadays so it’s easier.
Thank you for this comment! I'm a homemaker, and most people have stereotypical misconceptions about us, and us not making money is the BIGGEST one. Every single woman in my circle is a homemaker and they all make money. My great grandmother was and so are 2 of my cousins and they make money as well. That is completely normal, but most people see videos like this and make assumptions about all of us as if some of us don't already know this.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682because there aren’t enough people telling us how to Make money…all we know is getting a job. If you don’t mind what are some ways to make that money?
Right. My husband works 7 days to provide me n our 3 kids with a nice life. So when i ask him to do anything more, he think he do enough, paying bills n buying groceries. And when he was out living his best life, and i question him about it- he put me in my place real quick telling me - he feed me, he clothed me.... And when it got real bad and i said for him to just go do his own thing, He said i was the one had to leave- jobless with 3 kids. And it was hurtful bc i felt i did nothing to contribute in the house, when i knew i held it down. We broke up and got space and reevaluated our lifes goals and back together as a family. But yes, i will not be a stay at home wife again. And i will teach my daughter to always ALWAYs have an income so nobody will stunt on you and TRY to make you feel less-than
Being a stay at home wife and mother today, has many challenges and it's not always positive. Some bm feel that as long as they are providing for the household they can do what ever they want without any bush back from the wife.
Ma'am. I think you were both wrong. You shouldn't have had that many kids where he needed to have worked that much OR you needed to get a job, smh. Imo, no whole adult should exhaust themselves for another able-bodied adult who can take care of themselves. That should've bothered you!
This degree is beating my behind, but I'll stick with it before I have to put up with this kind of treatment. This gender war is crazy, each side will condone and justify bad behavior just to have one up on the other. it's sad because we need each other for the successful progression of society but it looks like everyone has given up on the idea of family building.
My granddaddy left my grandma with 4 kids. Only one kid actually recovered and made something of himself which was my Uncle. My ma made poor decisions and my sister and I suffered and have to claw our way to stability. My ex husband did something similar to me, but I was out working and out earning him, so I'm able to rebuild fairly quickly now. You can't put anything past anyone.
Thanks for sharing. I've been feeling a stirring in my soul to get my shit together. Being a stay at home wife and mother has been the biggest mistake I've made in thr last decade. My husband has lost all respect for me, he screams at me daily, in front the children or others it doesn't matter. I try do hard not to upset him or make a mistake. I live in a constant state of panic for fear of upsetting him, only to upset him anyways because I'm so full of anxiety. He won't let me walk out the room sometimes or get off the phone. Everything is about control for him ATM. I don't understand why. I've completely submitted to him. I give him what he wants, I've learned his ways so he doesn't have to ask. I'm scared, but starting up a ne w business right now. I think it's important.
I know how that feels… I’m doing much better now but living that way felt like I had lost all my energy and that my soul was being chipped away at. Walking on eggshells 24/7 and not knowing what would set him off.. I would try to avoid him as much as possible. Thank god I got away and feel like myself again! You can too! I wish you all the best and as you know, becoming successful in your financial independence is EXTREMELY important. I would also try to secretly talk to a family attorney-just be SURE he doesn’t find out- so that you know what your options are and can prepare for any emergency where you may need to get away. How you’re living now is no way to live. Try to also save a little at a time in a secret bank account that he doesn’t have access to. I can promise you that he’s already doing that. Also go to a womens group or a therapist if you can! Us women need to support each other! Don’t lose hope you got this 💪🏼
Im actually a stay at home mom. You just have to make sure you are secure in case anything goes wrong and you could take care of yourself if you wanted. If you take your spouse away financially and you don't know how you'd get by that's when it's a problem. Cause then you're one bad day away from nothing.
@pratkier you have your own money, but don't have a job? Make it make sense ! It really sounds like you just have a false sense of security . This is exactly how women get comfortable and let their guard down.
Every single male member of my family who has been in my life has given me the same advise to ensure that I am never 100% reliant on anyone, least not a man. I’ve always listened and made sure I have a leg to stand by being educated and always have it emergency savings, especially now as an adult. Also I find that in romantic relationships men don’t play games with me because they know I will not struggle or blink an eye if I need to leave them.
I just love your channel and how you keep it real whether you are talking about men or women. I will say this, you reap what you sow and people better be careful how they move in life. A video never goes away and treating a woman and child that way is low down and dirty. My mom use to tell me be careful how you treat people because the same person you mistreated may be the one that have to give you a cup of water on your death bed (and they may just take it and throw it in your face). Also, the ones who really suffer are the children. God is going to deal with these "loser men" accordingly. Thanks for doing the video.👍🙏🏽
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What no one talks about is how many DADS pushed us toward education and independence. My dad and grandpa warned me about men more than my mom ever did. I'll never forget my grandpa telling me " Never put yourself in a position to be stuck with someone out of necessity because then you're a captive and not a spouse." This was a traditional carribbean man. I was 12 when he told me that and now at 30 in a healthy equally yoked relationship...I'm so glad I was listening.
Yes, my African father told me that no man on the planet can make or break you only you can do that. He also told me to be financially independent, he said give that man the right to feed you and you give that man the right to starve you!
@@mjohnson1741 we must have the same dad. Cos that man pushed me through law school and would probably smack me in the face if I start spewing tradwife shit.
My father was a horrible husband, but he did teach all of his daughters to be self sufficient. Thank God for that.
Same. My dad always made sure I had money when going on dates. Always.
That's great advice your grampa told you! Never thought about it that way 🤔 ..
My husband encouraged me to get a career and have my own money. He pays all the bills and still does for me. All I do is pay my car note and cater to our family. We spoil each other.
And that is how it is supposed to be!! You have a good husband who knows what it is to be a husband. God bless you both & your marraige!!
As u guys should
YOU GOT LUUUUUUUUCCCKKKYYY!!!
@@LadyDeeCee how would a husband protect himself from being exploited if he is in such a situation where he is giving everything?
Your situation is the reverse of the video where your husband carries all the risk and you don't in case you switch up on him. How would a man protect himself in such a situation so that all his sacrifice, like the woman in the video, doesn't go to waste in case of a change in his wife's behavior?
Mom always told us to always make sure you have your own. Never depend on anyone for anything. People change and spousal financial abuse is real. Better go make your own money.
@taylor5973 BE A FOOL FOR NOONE!!!!!!!
Facts!!!
💯💯💪🏾💪🏾
Yes
Or don’t marry abusive people. Women are so pressed to brag they are married that they ignore red flags - he didn’t just become abusive overnight .
My parents were married for 11 years. My mom was a homemaker at the request of my dad. He told her, "i want my wife to just sit at home and look pretty." When i was 7, that man left us one day after work. Telling my mom that he just couldnt be married anymore. His mistress was waiting across the street. My mother sold our furniture and clothes in order to get the rent together for the month. We wound up evicted the next month. I was playing outside a couple of months later when they repossessed the car. Never in my life would i give a man that much power over me. Never
Damn. That’s so messed up.
@@freethinkinmelanin6795 he even had his mistress serve my mom the divorce papers. Devastated her for years smh
EXACTLY!
😢💔
That's so so terrible. I'm so sorry. I hope things are going well for your mom now and she healed from all that traumatic experience ❤
My great aunt said one thing in my father’s and another thing. My father said always be able to take care of yourself because I don’t want to beg a man to buy you a pair of drawz And my great aunt said, “the same Hand that can feed you; Can starve you!” In other words, always be able to take care of yourself
Right . Good advice from your father and Aunt .
I like what your aunt said
👏🏾 👏🏾👏🏾🗣️🗣️🗣️I ain’t heard nobody else say that “drawz” line in a loooooonnnngggg time.😅 and it’s sho nuff the truth!
@@p.gizzle90 omg me too now that’s some old school saying. But so true🙌🏾
Betta believe it!!!
I believe there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mother. However, I don't believe it is wise to depend on a person for solely everything. The woman in the video was 100 percent correct.
There is a lot things wrong with being a SAHM. If you have babies under 6 months, even a year less, then it is completely understandable to be at home. After that, there is no reason for you to be home 24/7, 7 days a week without at least a part time job.
@@eve3363 And where does a woman put those four kids while she's at her part-time job? That's 1k a week in daycare costs. How much she making at this part-time job?
@@MissKashira If you have 4 children in daycare age, that means you were irresponsible and didn't plan your children well. You could only have 4 children in daycare if you had twins and even still, you had one set of twins, common sense would tell you to hold off for a bit if you want more children.
Next, if you work part time then, the children will be going to day care part time as well. You won't be spending $1k a week. Finally, it takes a village to raise a child. Too many parents today want to be independent when they have the help or they rush to have children young when everyone around them is still trying to gather themselves. If you work part time, you can have relatives, close friends, and trusted church members watch out for your children.
Finally, even if it's only you and the dad, someone can work overnight while the other works in the day time. People today don't have common sense and don't know how to make things work. Too lazy and selfish but want the biggest responsibility which is to raise a life.
@@eve3363 It's easy to say "shoulda, coulda, woulda" but the woman in the car with four small children has already had them. She can't shove them back in. So what now?
And I'm assuming in your hypothetical where one parent is working days, the other nights and they give up on ever seeing each other again, they are both doing equal labor in the home with the cooking, cleaning, scheduling appointments, shopping, etc. And it's not all on her after she's worked all night with her body still aching from childbirth and one of her three kids still breastfeeding.
You do realize the situation you're describing is the number one reason for divorce, right? The woman realizes if she leaves that's one less person she has to clean up after and if her ex-husband has visitation, there are days she can actually rest. A whole generation of women tried to have it all. They burned out. It didn't work.
@eve3363 stop being delulu. Moms baby is ALWAYS dads maybe after a breakup
I’m triggered because last year my ex husband legit watched me and my daughter get into a vehicle that almost killed us, the tire rod was rotten and I didn’t know how bad it was. He never really cared to look at my car or pay attention to that kind of stuff. But he wanted to throw me and my child out so he could be with his work buddy in the army. Long story short I got to Georgia and I went straight to a mechanic that man told me baby God literally spared you and your daughter. He said if you’d went another mile you and your baby would be history. All I could do is cry, cry because I didn’t know that Jesus loved me as much as he did too get us away from that situation. I thank God I’m no longer with that young man. I have a job. I’ve gotten two promotions in a year. I’ve gained everything I never could keep when I was with him. God is able, so too any woman reading this please always trust God! Don’t trust man, don’t even trust my words. Trust the spirit of God in my words. If he brought me out of the darkness he can for you. ❤❤❤❤
Amen!! I felt this!!!
Some men are bad luck, period. They have God’s judgment because of their wicked ways. Life got better for you when you got away from him and his evil energies. 🕊️
I had a baby for my ec partner almost 2 years ago then he abandoned us, paid 50 pounds 3 times then bounced abandoning me and our son. Took him to court and had the audacity to lie that i had another relationship therefore doubts the paternity of our son smh. He said he paid towards maintenance and then stopped frkm the Goodness of his heart. Looked me deas in the eye as he said this even after a year long relationship .Court ordered a,DNA test. I cant wait for the look on his face but honestly deep down knows he is the father. Some men, oh well
Amen 🙏🏾 and Amen 🙏🏾
Sending virtual hugs 🫂💜to u and your daughter. #MayGodContinueToBlessUonYOURjourney 💜
I just left my boyfriend of 3 years and have known him for 30 years because he became a Kevin Samuels disciple. He refuses to put my name on the house we were looking at, he wanted me to quit my job so I can be totally dependent on him and didn’t support me going to law school to reach my goal😒 thank goodness for high self esteem and therapy. I will never put myself in a vulnerable position for hopes of a ring. I can buy my own and will be buying my own house next year🎉 Thank you for your commentary it’s good to know some black men have sense!!
Good for you. That was a smart move on your part.
Good girl. I had an x who defended Kevin Samuels all the time and was talking always negative about BW. I asked him did he care about BW feelings and he said no. He loved listening to KS videos. One day we were in the car and I turned on the Shumake way video defending Jessica Gardner and her being average at best and he told me to turn it off because his voice was irritating him and he would rather hear it from a woman. He asked why I was playing it with him because he thought I was talking about him. (Which I was ) I turned it off and stopped talking and he kept asking me questions because he knew I was upset He was triggered. I was done. I broke up with him
@@mjohnson8206 It feels good to know someone has had the SAME experience as me!! I remember we were driving 4 hours to go to the beach to celebrate MY birthday and he immediately put on Kevin Samuels. I turned it off and said I’m not listening to a man belittling BW and he got triggered and called me “masculine” and used that damn “SIGN language” acronym. I should’ve left then but I stayed trying to disprove his negativity towards BW!! I refuse to ever date another BM that’s hates BW but wants to date one!! It’s gaslighting and narcissism at it’s best!!
As a man I can’t imagine detering my wife from going into a high paying career because of insecurity and control . Why would u not want your woman to be self sustainable in case you lost a job or decide u want to build your own biz which requires capital and her support . Kids don’t stay 1-5 yrs forever , before you know it they are in school 8 hours a day and into extra curricular activities . Your woman has to be able to do something she is passionate about . Also in the event of divorce a woman making what you make give or take, more or less means your child support will be minimal .
@@francisikwueme1688 with me knowing him for 30 years before we started dating, he knew I had dreams and aspirations. But, once he started listening to Kevin Samuels and got into the red pill and manosphere community he turned into a black woman hating, toxic masculine man. I’m still very triggered and overcoming all the belittling I suffered but I’m so happy to be done!! I’m so glad you as a man have your mindset more men need it!!!
No black shirt ?! Lol
Never again. I was with my children’s father and was a SAHM. NEVER will I ever do that again. Currently back in school. To all my single women with no children. DO NOT fall for the “let me take care of you” line. Especially if you don’t have a career.
Yt Asian and Hispanic men usually take care of their women. All the women and myself included are taken care of. My mom has been spoiled trophy wife her entire life and my dad set her up financially in case anything happens to him. Same for my grandpa and my brothers with their wives. It can happen to anyone but if you’re dating someone where it’s in their culture to take great care of their wife and kids, usually they will and will set them up for life in case anything happens to them.
Edit: All the old and young women in my family
@PlaywithDaisy "my dad set her up financially" now was this before or after jim crow poverty, black codes, or the CIA/crack era. You ppl need to mind your damn business.
@@denisebycapricorn if you’re on the internet, don’t expect people to “mind their business.” Maybe you need to stay off of the internet if you can’t stand to deal with other people on the internet.
@PlaywithDaisy lmfaoo you little dog eater. Maybe you should mind your business. If you dont want ppl commenting you to mind your business, then YOU stay off the internet 🤷🏾♀️
It’s worked for millions of women, just say you didn’t choose correctly .
I had a husband who was military and wanted me to be a stay at home mom! He was a compulsive cheater and he knew that I had nowhere to go with the kids as he repeatedly cheated. I used his GI bill went to school during one of his many deployments, got my LPN, moved out and got a place for me and my kids. I’m now an RN and working on my bachelors degree!! Never again will I ever be a stay at home mom! I need my own bag I’ll never go through the feeling of wanting to leave but having no financial mean to go!!! Women level up 💪🏽👏🏼👏🏼 have your own security blanket like some men ensure they have to have the upper hand as you at home full time with no money and taking care of the kids
I bet you one dollar his philadering ass didn't know that spouses could use the GI Bill.
Good for you, and your kids will be better off with a happy mother.
Good for you!!!
That's wonderful, I am so happy for you. I'm using my Post 911 now to earn my 4th trade. Always need to have our own.
Military men are some of the biggest cheaters. I have not known one that isn't.
@@RAJOHN-ke7mcI bet he is walking around saying she took advantage of him while he was overseas and used him then left and took the kids. I’ve seen men say that about a woman they mistreated who got wise and then left, first hand. It makes me chuckle to myself how loudly they expose their ignorance.
They lucky it’s not my place and I don’t want the heat because I would comment the truth and embarrass them in front of the fam when they start popping off about how bad women are. It’s sad to see.
I been through my ex husband putting me out the house multiple times and when I finally decided to move on he didn’t like that but now thank god hallelujah praise god I’m able to provide for me and my daughter in nursing school thank you 🙏🏽 Jesus Christ for providing and protecting us amen 🙏🏽
Thats sad.
Amen!
🎉Amen 🙏 you go girl.
Listen!! Jesus literally saved me from a terribly abusive mother and an abusive man! He provided a way for me to get out! My God is good!
Amen! So happy for you.
One piece of advice my SAH mom, married to a GOOD man (my dad) gave me, and it was some of the best advice she ever gave me. Don't EVER depend solely on ANY man. My response as a 15 year old. " Why mom? Because he may lose his job, lose his health, lose his life, lose his interest to take care of his family and stop/leave, or no man may ever come?" Her response. "Exactly." Never put your whole subsistence in the hands of anyone - this goes for women AND men.
AMEN!! It goes both ways.
Facts!!!!💯💯💯
I stand on that. Plus I’m pulling my weight. The person that gives has control.
Point blank...PERIOD
Period!! Gotta be smarter than that!!! I wouldn’t be able to rest my mind knowing that my livelihood is in someone else’s hands!! No damn way!!!
Being single is always an option, ladies!
Not one to be ashamed of either.
Exactly and I love it!!!! I really don’t care to date anymore.
The best option. These ppl behave lower than rabid beasts
Single, Celibate, & Childfree= Safe, Sane, & Financially Solvent.
People can’t seem to grasp this concept.
This happened to me. My ex husband left me with NOTHING. I will never not have my own income again. I divorced him, went to nursing school and started a business.
Why no alimony?
That’s a boss move and I’m happy for you sis ❤
What's ur business?
!!!! I start nursing school next month
@@ReadyorNot811 Almost no one is granted alimony these days
Being married doesn’t 100% guarantee you protection from being a single mom or getting divorced. Marriage is a form of protection for the woman she receives as the highest honor as the woman in his life. However, women should always make their own money in a creative way. There could be emergencies also business funding needed etc. Build yourself up to protect yourself for future issues.
HE should be honored to have A WOMAN in HIS life. Also there is NO PRORECTION for the black woman whether she is married or not married to a black man.
@@gouloune1 poor little tink tink
The ONLY protection you need is from HIM. Check out the statistics on black femicide!
Or if you do plan to be a stay at home mom and stop working, Sign a Prenup or Postnup!! to protect yourself and your children, in case he tries to abandon you.
It sure doesn’t. This also why men of other communities are quick to kill their wives for leaving because they do not want to pay child support and alimony…
“Men will leave you in the desert without water…” - Ladies, don’t learn this lesson the hard way. Always have your own everything! 💯
The average child support payment is 50 bucks a week, and 50% don't even pay it. But people never want to talk about facts just their feelings. It's insane. We don't want to be single moms so we're not having kids. I refuse to be a married single mom or let some guy use his money to control me, been there hated it! Now I have 3 degrees and a wonderful husband, but if we divorce I'd never date again. People have lost their minds in the last decade.
Maybe If I Get Two More Degrees I'll Get My Significant Other Too, Shiddd 😂 Happy To Hear You've Ascended 🎉❤
@@HaughtyHedonist my husband married me before I had any degree.
Lmbo people have 100% lost their minds both genders
Yet, Landlords are evicting single black women at a higher than any other group. Has nothing to do with men, race, or relationships. You can always tell who DIDN'T have a father.
@@StaplesPropertyAcquisitions you thought you did something Huh?
My friend said if she’s a stay at home mom the only way she will do it is under an LLC and her husband to pay a salary. So if anything happen she has paid into social security and has a job history and money, if he can’t afford it and bills she wouldn’t do it. She would take maternity leave and head back to work
😂
@@zowdeezowdee not sure what’s funny my friend works with health insurance . A lot of the people she signs up are older with a deceased husband the wives have no 401 k no work history no social security and it’s bleak! So if I am married tending to house kids school activities and he had a problem with a salary or simply didn’t have to budget for that I would continue to work. So now there’s an issue with reminingnwith my husband and continuing to work? Or stopping my life to live for my family? If the second choice is mine it would have to make finical sense for us now and 30 years from now , if not I wouldn’t be able to do it. Additionally we would both need life insurance in the event something happen to me as well . This is proper planning many black homes don’t discuss . She informed me how to do this under a trust. It makes valid sense. So again what’s funny? It a man doesn’t want to pay that or can’t pay it then I would BE WORKING
I'm so sorry, I must have read a funny meaning into it. I'm Nigerian so I don't really understand. I read it as she having her own stuff and being her own person, deciding to go back to work whenever. My apologies 🙏.
@@zowdeezowdee no worries !
That is smart & very financially savy!! I love it!!!
It’s crazy that he, a man, can articulate so well why so many women move the way they do. If HE can see that means other men could if they wanted to open their eyes to it.
Exactly.
BLIND
Men see it and understand it. They are experts of weaponized incompetence
@@mayajackson5024 and women are experts at aiding and abetting men’s retardation. Stop falling for every man’s words😂 I’m saying that as a woman.
They see it they just don’t care. Most of the men who push this narrative have low self esteem and they are intimidated by the black woman’s resilience.
My father pushed me to be independent and it wasn’t always easy but it sets you free from mistreatment
Praying she keeps moving forward and things get better for that mother and her children
Dudes be paying $100 for child support and acting like is 100k 😂
And get a whole week off from fatherhood and only see the kid on the weekends. Those are the dusty dads. Real fathers are always seeking out their kids.
@@saltycat662 dusty dads 😂😂😂😂 I'll be adding to my vocabulary
This is what people forget - these things happened and parents, including fathers, told their daughters to pursue education and a job so that, if anything happens, they won't be left to suffer.
I've been breadcrumb by two males. They both pulled the financial rug from under my feet for women they really liked and wanted to invest in. I was just a place holder helping them to build. This wears down on a woman psychologically. One of these two males fractured my ribs in two places. I blacked out and ended up hospitalized. I never saw it coming. The other male left me for a transgender. I completely understand why women want to be single.
I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. I hope you don't give up though. Take a break from dating and love yourself. Introduce yourself to the true and living God and follow his commands. You'll find that you attract human beings who are kind instead of demons who want to destroy. BTW, leave unrealized men alone. You are a builder. Ask God to send a man who will marry and build with you. YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!!!!
I'm sorry for what you go throw. Heal from you mental cruelty and than take step by step your own life back. You have now the control, protect your boundary and tell other what you want and don't let you put down from a men, whom not respect and cherish you. ❤
That's not why women want to be single, y'all act like y'all are angels
My granny was born in 1933( God bless her) and she has always told us all to have our own secret money.She said if your husband gives you the finances, before anything else, you pay yourself a fair wage for the work you've done.I have older great aunts who talk about having to do things they didn't want to do be they had nowhere to go or they were not going to be able to buy basic household needs. Some men also don't believe there is such a thing as no in a marriage. The only existence that you should blindly tryst and love is the God you serve, that love is unconditional
Another thing to add, a 50/50 man will never be a provider, ever! You can give birth and they will still expect your half. Just keep a stash of money no one knows about in case you have to leave or he leaves if you’re staying at home. Some men want that so that they can bully you and mistreat you knowing you can’t do anything about it. Most men are NOT natural providers. A woman can be a stay at home mom and if he decides he wants his secretary he can clean out the bank accounts and drop you penniless. A man literally did it to his wife that had three of his children! He didn’t give a F if his kids were fed. She had to go through the courts to make him pay child support and some men will try for custody out of spite (guess how I know 🙃) just don’t put your eggs all in one basket. Be careful.
My ex tried to do this to me. He isolated me by moving us 1000 miles away from where I’m from, turned everybody in this new state against me, tried to get me a criminal record so I’d be completely dependent on him and when he started doing that I knew I had to get tf away from him. I left with nothing. Still in that same state sleeping on couches and working my ass off. Ever since that I’ve been traumatized by dating. That relationship alone changed me forever. I’ve been single for 4 years now since then and am just now realizing how bad I have PTSD from that man. I’ll NEVER put my all into a man or relationship again…
I’m back on my feet now tho but NEVER tf again 💯
Literally same
How horrible for you both. Glad you are out. I'd never recommend moving away from family like that, especially if you have kids or will one day. 😢
@@geekemediaThis same thing just happened to me…. Please ladies have your own!
@@Lelesbratz except he stole my baby in the process. My oldest daughter tried to get me to leave when I was pregnant before it's too late but I was too afraid because I was so dependent on him, now when he threw me out because I gained weight after giving birth and got too old (30th birthday) I was helpless completely. I couldn't get custody because I was homeless and he had a house. It ever dawned on me that he could do that.
Trust in Jesus come to your life heal from all your pstd let jesus lead you in guide you
Omg how many times have I personally seen a man tell his “traditional” wife not to “upset” him or he’s not paying the rent or mortgage anymore. It’s all about control. They know the woman gave up the career and the “lead” to them. It’s the perfect plot to take advantage. It’s horrible especially when you’re taught to see the best in your bf/husband/father. It’s sick.
💯
Bingo
ITS CALLED NARCISSIM
Yeah it can suck if the leader is petty and abusive like that. But news flash, if there’s a huge income disparity, he could easily do this as well. For example, if I make 500k and Im living with some wife thats insane enough to go out there and waste her time working for say a 50k salary, her income effectively has zero power on our relationship. If I’m not being an emotionally abusive dickhead, what satisfaction would she get from grinding all day only to look at her bank account at the measly amount she brought in that month, only to later watch me blow through an equivalent amount of money from my end like its worth nothing to me. After a long enough period of time she’s going to wake up and realize “why am I sacrificing my life for some chump change when this man has already proven he’s trustworthy and treats me well?” Just as an insurance policy? And she’s going to keep that up forever regardless of how she’s treated? Doubtful
@@joelt1002 she might enjoy her work and routine, she might enjoy a sense of accomplishment from helping people or being a part of projects, she might be wise enough to know for a fact that one day her man could up and leave for whatever reason and she will have something to fall back on. there are so many ppl out there and they could have very different perspectives from yours.
He’s probably online right now lying about how the mom won’t let him see his kids
tuh… YUP
Or how she got the house and car 😂
One thing I learned in my first marriage to put a roof over my own head. I went through this myself. I was born on Father's day and never had a Father. I have plenty of reasons not to trust men.
More moms need to tell their daughters to aspire to be the cool aunty with money instead of the mom with struggles. Choose you. Each and everytime.
Most women do not go into motherhood with the intention to struggle. If a person is ready to be a parent they should also be ready to work and provide for them.
If a woman doesn't want children. That is her choice but I do not think it is a great idea for mothers to tell their daughters to aspire to be childless if that is not what they want?
We raise our children to be independent and give them guidance about adult life.
@@tcampbell1106no it does need to be said do they will know it is an option to not struggle. I learned that I didn’t want kids on my own but other may need to hear that it’s not always sunshine being a mother. I will remain childless and free from struggle and stress.
💯😀
@@tcampbell1106 i fell for the "you will be unhappy and lonely later in in life' bs. Daughters need to be able to choose without society guilt tripping them. Always choose you, each and every time. Men do the same
@@tboss8243same here I choose to stay child free due to not alot of success stories while my parents influence me to have them it kinda gives me icks 😂
I had a guy throw me out but thank god I had my own stuff. He didn’t want me to have my own stuff. It taught me to keep my career and never fully depend on a man.
hey man just wanted to say i appreciate you being a great example of positive masculinity
Exactly ! Don’t never put too much trust into nobody because you just never know
@Beautycreatedbyfaith “Never put your trust in no one, cause even your shadow leave you when it get dark”.
@@j.staxxx3890 I know right especially when them roles turn & all it takes is all call now the guy is in the woman position 🫢😎😎😎
But we have seen this growing up, why do it too.
I say this all the time
Whew. I went thru some of this. He didn’t “put me out” but made life unlivable in “his house” which he reminded me of daily. It got to the point he would actually kick over or drop stuff and say, NOW clean that up! Or refuse to help me, complain about “my ish” being there but his was actually the mess. I once came home from work (pregnant with a toddler) and he’d have a dirty condom just laying on TOP OF the trash 🤮final straw I slept on a friends couch until I had our baby and then got into a shelter… fast forward 5 years and we are doing amazing thank God! Working FT in a stable career and have my own place, now he wants sympathy bc HES homeless 🙄
Wow, God turned the tables. He reaped what he sowed. Not only did this man abused you, he also abused the child and the unborn putting more stress on your pregnancy. Justice is served ❤
Won't he do it! Thanking God for your transition.....I wouldn't pay that man any mind. This humbling season is for growth purposes. Let him feel every moment of it. Hopefully, he learns from this, but many do not.
Good. Serves him right …I have no sympathy for people like him. Now he know how you felt. And it’s worse for him because he’s on the streets now. His nasty behavior and God caused him to reap what he sowed. I’m so sorry you went through this but it makes me feel good that he feels the pain now. That’s the only way people like him will learn a lesson. Oh well too bad for him
#KarmaIsAmofo
I’m so so sorry that you went through praise God that you’re ok
I pray for the hearts of black men!!!
Be a stay at home mom/wife if you choose but have something to fall back on. Something you can do to earn money just in case…and us “boss babes” do know how to do domestic things. We do cook, clean, nurture our loved ones, etc etc 🙂
Facts 👌🏽🌹
To add to the conversation, it’s really nice that you nurture your loved ones, cook, clean, etc. But remember that the man is supposed to do the same for you and the family. Don’t kill yourself with stress doing everything at home AND working outside the home.
That’s a rare breed of “boss babes” in this generation.
This is so scary to me, like what do I do now? Bc im not having kids if im not married, a lot of these men are traitors and will cheat, no loyalty. I don’t hate men, im just scared of them… and this generation of men are especially weak in their morals. But then Im looked at crazy bc im about my money… then im also looked at crazy by other women bc im waiting for marriage and stay in the house. Im so lost.
your not lost lovely! Continue to do what's in your heart. I don't know if you believe in God, but have faith and seek him for guidance and understanding. If you do that, trust you are always going in the right direction.
Yes men scare tf out of me!
@@khalin8445 You’re right and I do believe in God, I’ll keep praying, sometimes I do get weak and become afraid, thank you for the reminder ♥️
@@TiannaEss Literally terrified 🥺
I feel that so deep in my soul. Men are scary ASF. I was just saying:
"How is God supposed to 'send help' when I feel this way about men?"
Then I remember that He's God for a reason, so I'll just have to trust him
You said it right. Most men want to get 1 up on women no matter the cost or who it affects. Emotional immaturity @ its best
It’s so refreshing to see Godly men like you, Tony Gaskins and RC Blakes on UA-cam that are married and can understand what’s going on out here.
Amen! I follow all of them!
To be fair the other two have some traces of misogyny
I was lucky to have experienced the beauty of being a sahm mom but I could have returned to my career(s) if necessary which is what made it such an easy transition. I left work with my debts paid and my own personal savings. We lived well and our son had progressed so much. Now, im a widow and I don't have to work another day if I don't want to... but id rather have my husband and my son have his daddy. I'll be honest and say that i wish my husband was still here instead of the trash we keep seeing. He was genuine and seemingly rare. Sad that the beautiful love stories end so tragically.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙏🏾
Thank you for sharing your story. I have my career and want to get married and become a stay-at-home mom. My boyfriend and I are working towards that for when the time comes. Watching this video is very conflicting but I know that in my heart, taking care of our babies is my desire. Thank you for sharing that in many cases, it does turn out for the best. I will keep God first and he will lead me in the way that I should go.
did he pass during pandemic
Sorry for your loss, I hope you meet someone deserving of you again.
No Shumake, women are not afraid. We just not taking the chance any more. We not taking the risk anymore to be stuck and have our dreams deferred. I had 1 baby and never did it again. Now at 40, it is the best decision I have ever made in my life. I never took the chance again on my life thinking about love, SEGGS, and "gotta have a man". Nah. We not afraid, we playing SMARTER now. Who wanna fall in love for a character and a charade and when it fall apart, men tell us you should have chose better. NOW we NOT choosing you and we CHOOSING to be free with our lives and not have their kids. Us women have seen our mothers and grandmothers and aunts live the traditional life right to the grave BM give is little to hold on to. We choosing BETTER, like yall say.
My kids have always known as long as I BREATH, THEY HAVE A PLACE TO STAY. Married or not work 3 jobs if you have to, but have your own money. Buy what you need, put your kids 1st. Because unfortunately men will switch up on you at any given moment and leave you stranded. I got a husband and still keep my own pocket right. You never know............
THESE MEN CONFUSED AS HELL
-men SAY 'im not taking care of a woman thats she is just a dependent"
-Then they backdoor and say " I WANT A TRADITIONAL WOMAN"
-Men say working women are masculine and will die alone
But then say women need to have their own koney cause nobody is going to take care of them 🙄
MY FAVORITE IS THE MEN WHO SCREAM THEY WANT A TRADITIONAL WOMAN THEN COMPLAIN WHEN THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR STUFF
I learned this lesson in my marriage. Lesson learned! Never again! I will always have my own. I will never fully trust a man financially.
The judge will tell you that child support is anything needed to support the child. This includes lights, rent, water bill, activities, and etc.
Men can be so cold and heartless, I’ve seen it too many times. How the hell would I put my livelihood In the hands of a man?? NEVER.
As an immigrant woman that has seen wives and kids kicked onto the streets by their husbands, this is triggering to see the same thing happens to American women… I can’t believe there are still American adult women who don’t have jobs/careers of their own and are at the mercy of a man…EVERY adult should be able to feed themselves/their kids and the fact that some women will CHOOSE to be vulnerable just so they can flex about staying home and having a provider is insane to me..the first thing I did when I can rot america was get a job/education and stand on my own 2 feet..I am married to a man who does provide for me and our kids but I also have my own savings, job, retirement fund ect….if need be , I can provide for me and my kids at the drop of a hat….
This is why many dudes because passport bros, its because many feel like they are losing power over women here in this country. So they go overseas looking for women they can control. This is why many foreign women are making videos saying that they don't want passport bros over there, because they bring that same toxic behavior with them.
Because they were lied by religion, society, the right wing, manosphere and like that
Great idea it is always good to have your own it is also good your husband is assisting also it makes life easier.
❤❤❤
Your poor husband, I hope he isn't being, you know what by you.
You don't help your husband at all, I can tell
Here's what men don't understand. A man can walk away or pass away and leave a woman with nothing. My mom had to leave my dad, and my grandfather passed when my mom was young. Both my grandmother and mother taught me to have my own because you can't predict the future, and they did not want me to experience the hardships they did. That's wisdom, but many men see it as selfishness.
This 💯
They DO understand. That's why they're so upset. Abusive men want a woman in a position of dependency on them.
And abusive men hate women. They love to see us suffer. And to know that we suffer after they die and leave us with nothing is at best, not a concern, at worst, exactly what they want.
I'm not gonna lie I totally put my faith in my ex husband at the time. I left my surgical tech job to be a stay at home mom/wife. That was my husband's request and when I told him please help me it was overwhelming breastfeeding and waking up every hour and a half. He got my car repoed when I was pregnant intentionally. He stop doing so many things once I stayed at home. It was what I can describe as a trap he didn't wanna help with our daughter one bit. He never helped with anything changing diapers ANYTHING. It through me into postpartum so bad I had to move back with my parents. I couldn't sleep I ended up malnutrition I was loosing my mind. Keep in mind he didn't act like this before marriage or before pregnancy. He ended up telling me he was jealous of our daughter cause she had most of my time and he didn't like that he regretted have a child... y'all I'm not making this up 😢 this was insane and I had to divorce I couldn't cause he kept trying to get me pregnant again. I the hardest lesson just cause I asked for help from him he flipped out and also couldn't stand his own child. This man is starting facts!!!! I haven't even dated I'm busy healing myself an in therapy and working on me. Other things he was aggressive as well I hate talking bad about him but THIS VIDEO IS REAL THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN TO GOOD FEMALE AND I JUST WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW
He was definitely tryna keep her stuck an miserable. I'm glad you outsmarted his ass because truth be told alot of men are just purely jealous of women. We are the shit.!!!! In every way!!! I'm proud of you
Telling the truth isn't talking bad about someone.
I recalled my mom begging my father for two dollars to get a loaf of bread and my mother telling my sister and I later that " you make certain that you have your education and career. "
That man is trash for doing that to his family. Kicking out his young kids and his wife like that. Horrible
Usually when a man does that, it's because the woman did something very bad. I'm not saying it happened in this video necessarily, but that's usually the case generally speaking.
@@tommyt264 oh no how horrible of her to ask why he came home late! Truly the worst! Kick out the kids and her stuff! Destroy the evil family because he's just another innocent man victim 😂
//s
@@Janary08 we obviously don't know the whole story. But I'm pretty sure she did more than just come home late.
@@tommyt264huh?? He’s the one who came home late, was probably out cheating, why else would he react this way??
@@tommyt264Its ironic how men see other men doing wrong to a woman and they will sympathize with them. Yet when a woman does it to men it’s those hoes ain’t loyal.
I personally haven't had the experience of the woman in the video. HOWEVER, from a young age right through my teens and into adulthood, my Dad always told me to get an education, get a skill, get a job and NEVER depend on anyone else to take care of me. That I should always have my own job and my own money in case I was in a situation where I needed to take care of myself. It's because of my Dad that I've avoided those situations like the woman in the video.
Same
My step dad was the same way, always "when you grow up and go to college and get your own THEN..."
This something my dad taught me too. Though I’m struggling now financially, this is always ingrained in me. I will eventually move out and continue to be independent
My mom was married at 16 and her husband (17) started the abuse 4 years into the marriage. He would take the batteries out of the car and dare her to come out of the house. He would beat her so bad even if someone would speak to her. After having my sister at age 22 he not only left her for his second wife but he took there mobile home with all there belongs. He left my mom with nothing…she found out she was pregnant with me but my stepdad accepted me before I was born….he took my mom in and secured us with everything. He gave us a wonderful childhood…he passed in 2004….today over 35 years later my moms 1st husband was in a major car accident and his family left him to die…my mom is allowing him to live in her storage shed….he’s been there for 3 years now and it’s only because my sister didn’t want him to die…. He is to this day extremely ungrateful and full of hate but life has left him with nothing….I thank God my mom is who she is because I wouldn’t give him my storage shed….he has destroyed it
Help kick him out. Mom over deadbeat.
Why doesn't your sister provide for her dad. Your mother is a saint. He'd be homeless dealing with me.
He abused your mom then has the nerve to be ungrateful that she is basically saving his behind. Ugh. Sisters approval or not, your mom should kick him out and let him get his lesson in humility. Some lessons are meant to be learned.
@@oneshoerr preach. I felt this.
@@oneshoerrI'm starting to realize enablers are the lifeline to wickedness in society but things are changing. We are in the times of the seven wise virgins and the seven foolish, and these folks are going to find out with this new generation!!!
I was raised to be independent, and today, i am. If i had the mindset of waiting around for a man to take care of me, i doubt i would have achieved some of the things i have today. There is nothing wrong with independence or being a stay at home mom. But, if you do choose the latter, at least have what we call vex money to help cushion you in hard times. Some men change up overnight.
🎯That Part Right There!!!
Women/wives Always have yur own Stash/yur own Funds/💵💵 in the bank. Real talk! I'm speak'n from past experiences.
Also, my mother & God taught me to Use Wisdom, some good ole fashion Common sense.
HalleluJah!
Lmao the irony of saying rp is bad but you're preaching men can change up
@berrymckockiner5883 have you ever dated men before? It amazes me how you men have no experience with men, but because you are a man, you automatically think you know how all men are. Sometimes it wouldn't kill to hear things from women's experiences, too. We deal with them regularly. And yes, they do change up all the time. Be it they fell out of love or whatever, the main point is, they can and does change up on women all the time.
@@liahlove8297 my point is rp teach thay wmn change up as well but apparently rp is toxic for men to listen to
this literally happened to my mom 2 or 3 years ago. parents got divorced dad re-married a year later and gained more success while my mom suffered to pay the bills, take care of 4 kids , moved 4 times, lost her current apartment 4 weeks ago and lost all of my siblings. this shit is real
I swear when I get out of college and become successful he’s not getting shit. I’m making sure my mom is good
@@oyoisubliminals5548❤
Im so sorry
Sending prayers for you and your family
Tell your mom to either go to trade school
Get her
LPN license
Beauty
Or Tech
These industries will always pay higher wages
Child support. The court system needs to be used.
@@12_user111 he was out on child support but never paid. He is a couple thousand behind. This is what really messed my mom up when it came to stability
Every time some men complain about radical feminism they don't want to look in the mirror and see where it comes from. I didn't want to get married unless I had the means to get out if I had to and that's what I would recommend for my daughters.
Exactly! How about look at the root instead of the fruit.
@@FatimaLuv what is the root?
where does it come from?
@@JudeKnowsWhatYouDoNot Men who mistreat women and want them trapped.
They don't want to have to consider what women want, which is the current state of affairs currently and some are mad about it. If they want a marriage,they have to consider what she wants as much as she has to consider what they want
Even Proverbs 31 virtuous woman was working. I experienced this as a teenage parent. I currently work from home while still being able to maintain my household duties. There’s no reason for modern women to think they can live a traditional lifestyle with a modern mindset. They have plenty of ways where you can earn money at home. What happens if your partner gets sick or become disable. So it goes beyond the man putting you out. God has blessed us beyond measures with great opportunities nowadays!!
Right and even death. Unless you’re married to a man with inheritance and a rich legacy…you may as well hit the clock like the rest of us lol.
Yes, it's the mindset of choosing your career over your family and raising your children which is the issue, not working. But in this day and age let's be real it is very hard to be independent on one income. I think work ethic is important in women as well, as doing housework and raising children is a lot of work and lazy bums aren't attractive from both genders.
First of all, sir, just consider being called a "simp" by losers a compliment. You're doing something right when you hear that. These ladies should never let any man put them out of their homes, I don't think that's legal anywhere. The lady in the video should have called the police; they probably would have put him out for trying it.
A woman works to have her own so she can maintain her safety and physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Never, ever, EVER center your entire life around a man and kids. You may be a stay at home mom for a period of time when the kids are small, but please please please please please make sure that you have a skilled trade and / or education and that you have your own money.
Have your own bank account that you keep putting money into over the span of time that you're with that man so that when he acts a fool and / or dumps you for that woman he's been having an affair with at work, you can have the money to cry, go to therapy, and move out without being stranded.
Most men who have wives that stay at home and don't do anything else view those women as their property. They do not respect the role of homemaker as a job. They just think you belong to them and that they are in control of you. I do not recommend this. Like I said, you may not have a full-out 9 to 5 job, but don't ever make your entire existence revolve around your husband and kids. Go volunteer with stuff, get a part-time gig, write a book or do something.
My son and I went through a very scary time. We learned the hard way to take care of ourselves. Husband went to another state for a job. What we didn't know it was also for his side chick. He hadn't paid the bills for months including the house payment. I'll never forget it.
This is why we say do not solely depend on anyone! I did that being a stay at home mom and was miserable as hell! I have my freedom now and it’s wonderful.
Nothing is guaranteed, ladies get yours because people do change.
Wow 😯. I will say, as an “independent woman” this is the very reason why I go so hard for myself. I’ve seen firsthand women that I love suffer mental, emotional and physical abuse from being handicapped due to dependence on men without a contingency plan. To be in their position was one of my greatest fears. I’m grinding getting to the bags as a result. My mother always taught me “Momma may have, and Daddy may have, but God Bless the child who has his own.” 💯
I would not recommend any woman completely depend on a man especially on a black man. I’m a housewife now but only after I secured the bag to have incomes coming in for the rest of my life. My husband still works but I invest for him to make sure his/our money keep growing. I’m like the brokerage firm who manages the budget, savings and investments for our little family.
I watched a video yesterday where a guy who is 57 has been with his girlfriend for 25 years and told her he never wanted kids when they were younger even though she begged him years ago. Now that he is 57 he decided that he wants kids and told her that she has 1 month to move out or he is evicting her. He he wicked to the core. I pray to God she has a good job and somewhere to go in 30 days.
Yeah, I saw that story, it’s so tragic, the man decided he wanted kids after his wife went through menopause at age 53, and thought “I guess the option for kids is gone forever, I’m now gonna go find a woman that’s still fertile, younger, prettier, even though my wife begged me years ago to have children, I didn’t want them back then, and now I’m throwing her out after she devoted her life to me.”
That was a sickening story, all valid cautionary real life stories, women have grown up being sold a fantasy where they meet their Prince Charming and make a perfect family together and he takes care of her and they’re so in love etc, and nowadays girls heck even boys are being taught independence at a young age, so they never had to depend on someone later.
@@sunsetanimator4187 I don't even think they were married. She was the girl friend so she will get nothing but an eviction.
I mean, she can still get pregnant, but it'll be a super higher risk. But, what young woman would want a baby by a grandpa, is my question to that guy
@@DagonAum17 Exactly, this guy doesn’t care what his 57 year old sperm is going to do to any future kids, horrible deformities, miscarriages, death,
@@DagonAum17I didn't know you could still get pregnant after menopause when your period is gone. ??
I really appreciate your perspective on this modern day gender war. You give very fair commentary.
I was on FaceTime with a man who said he wanted to pay 100% of household bills.
All I asked was why.
He went on a tirade about how ‘you modern black women’ don’t know your value in womanhood and where your true power lies by having a man take care of everything.
I told him I’m not all black women and that I ask the question because FINANCIAL ABUSE IS REAL. The women in my family always work because the last thing we want to hear is someone treat us like a child or a burden for wanting something new around the house, wanting better treatment etc and to get the response of “well I pay the bills so you don’t have any say and if you don’t like it you can leave.”
That’s unhealthy. That’s not a loving household where a woman can’t get respect in her own home she’s keeping house at.
Every household is different and what works for one may not work for another but respect should always be mutual
Excuse me if I'm oversimplifying this but why can't two people come together with their own skills, education, success, careers, resources etc... and just agree to work together in partnership to make each other better and attain more than what they started with? Isn't this the premise of marriage anyways?
That makes perfect sense. Many people attain this. I believe the key issues are trust and power struggle. In order to be successful at what you suggest, there needs to be trust that each individual will do their part.
Because men and women are different in nature. Men are inherently selfish. Women are better off collaborating with one another.
I mean you are right but here’s the problem you have many many men who like to have control over they’re spouse. Which is including’s wanting their spouse to quite they’re job, trapping them with a children and leaving them with all the responsibilities, don’t want them to put anything in their name so basically they want to have a women depending solely on them aka control so what you said is right, but unless these men worldwide get off of they’re misogynist and control nothing will change. 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
This makes sense.
Yes this is how my husband and i are it honestly works for us and our marriage has gotten better. BUT I still would want to have something just in case something happens(husband passes or gets sick etc etc) being a stay at home wife is cool we truly love it but make sure your spouse is protected just in case. Security and safety is so important and foundational to women(you don't need to be rich) it's our nature we by nature aren't meant to deal with financial struggles even though we do at times that's life.
Trying to gain my composure before commenting is hard. My brothers and I were kids like in that video discarded by my father 30+ years ago. I’m in tears because this resonates on a whole other level now that I’m a SAHM.
I’m 41 years old with a masters degree that I gave up to be at home with my children. I pursued education and financial stability before marriage just so I wouldn’t have to I live in constant fear that this could be me and my 4 children one day. Those scars never heal but with God I’ve put my full trust in Him.
While I believe God’s structure for the family is inherently good. I would be remissed to acknowledge that the current state of our society is extremely frail and in need of repair which makes both men and women skeptical of relationships all together. I pray that the heart of this video is heard loud and clear and we can start healing and building up the family where we are blessed and God is glorified.
🕊️🕊️🕊️
The main problem is the male who is shown throwing out his family obviously has not relationship with God.
“Gods structure of marriage “ is u not having a means of livelihood & contributing meaningfully to the society asides producing children which any other mammal can do? Am sorry if I sound harsh but am a Christian and am irritated u are purporting God to be authoriser of SAHM 💁🏽♀️
Pls read Proverbs 31 &leave God out of ur personal decision NOT TO WORK
Sir, you have said NOTHING wrong. I did not even think they made men that think or speak like you anymore.
Damn, when you read that comment about the girl whose dad was a breadwinner and horrible, I was in the exact same situation with my dad! I didn't even think of how that affected me until I heard it out loud. He too was a dog and reckless and when my mom had enough and left and took all three of us girls with her (17, 11, and 9 months) he cut us all off and left us to fend for ourselves. Refused to support us and he started a new family 😢 ( he did them the same though, but not as bad because they were boys) I had to work at 13 years old and take care of my baby sister because my mom had to work 3-4 jobs to keep us all feed and sheltered. She did it all with no government assistance too! I learned that I have to be on guard and never put full trust in anyone because even your blood can dog the shit out of you. 😢 I’m 43 now and my thought process is still the same and will probably never change!
I don't understand why it isn't obvious that women have and STILL go through so much that they want to protect themselves.
This was a great video. I believe there are forces in society that are invested in destroying black families and it kills me. At the end of the day it’s our children that suffer. I’ve been a nurse for 16 years and cared for hundreds of men in a local STI clinic who were lost and broken. This and my personal experiences has made me very cautious. I want nothing more than to submit to and nurture a loving husband. But until a man can prove he has good character and until I can feel fully emotionally physically and spiritually safe with him, I am at peace living independently. I’m thankful my education has allowed me to make my own way in life and to be an asset to my community and my family (my parents, elders and younger brother) who I care for
OMG!! I have thought the same thing!! I really truely believe white supremacists push these stereotypes & teybto convince black men to behave this way to keep us divided. Remember how the the Israelites infant sons were killed to keep the population down so they wouldn't be out numbered? Well it's being done today only instead if murdering our babies they found ways to keep us divided
Right that’s why many BW are saying they would rather be single. I told this man that was trying to holla the same thing and he said it was something wrong with me because I told him I didn’t want to date anyone until it was what you said. He started talking negative about BW. Saying that’s why we will be single mothers and will die alone but he has options and can sleep with as many women at his age of 38. I told him he is the type of man a good women would run from and he’s not going to be happy because you reap what you sow good luck with that you won’t ever get me
I believe its spiritual warfare the devil has been ruining families for years it’s the same old dusty text book he pulls out and it works like a charm if you play the field
@@mjohnson8206😅😅😅
Agreed wholeheartedly.
I told my boyfriend that we both came in this relationship with needs. I should not meet all your needs or vice versa. Our needs should be met simultaneously.
If you want to be a SAHM you need to have a plan. You need to have an emergency account with $15,000 or more. And a clause in the prenup for alimony, child support, and a cheating clause. And have an education and some type of income (whether your husband is giving it to you out of his paycheck, part time job, online business… something.)
this is 10000% FACTS
This! This is why I’m vowing to stay happily single and successful for the rest of my life. I’ve had enough married men hit on me to know marriage means nothing to most men. I’ve never had a man throw me out and I’d never give one the chance to do so. My heart goes out to women going through this 😢
lol..."most men"? really?
Remember according to Gabriel Union, this topic is why she felt more comfortable going 50/50 with her husband .. He said some hurtful things & it traumatized her in a way .. She wanted to avoid him ever being able to say those things to her again about their assets
She stayed with him, and now she's stressed the hell out going 60/40 with a man who makes 3xs her income.
She's a dam fool
Your supposed to depend on nobody but yourself anyway and that's the truth
It’s so refreshing to see non-toxic opinion from a masculine man who’s spreading good out there to bring men and women together rather than the divisive “trash” (as you say it) that I’ve encountered so much of lately.
Well people can call you a simp, I call it good character. Appreciate you.
My daughter has always been told, school, degree, career before marriage. Have an emergency fund if things go south.
My abusive dad walked out, leaving us penniless, taught me young.
Started working at 13 to take care of myself.
It's disgusting to watch him treat her that way. Absolutely no regard for the children at all. I can't watch it again everything in me is just boiling over. He sounds like he feels empowered doing it which makes my stomach turn.
I am embarrassed as a man to watch that . Kids should never see that or punished like that . If u want to split up or have her out there is a way to do it and implement a succession plan for them to be ok. Then he can go live his life 🤷🏻♂️
I am a man and I agree with your point of view.
Even in the worst arguments, I’ve never threatened to kick my Ex out. I wasn’t granted that same courtesy unfortunately, but it taught me that I need to get myself together more so this doesn’t happen in the future.
Independence is important for every individual and, in an ideal world, is what makes humble.
I am all for anyone becoming a better person, but what gets under my skin is the insane level of arrogance so many people have when they claim to be a “Top G” or “Boss Chick.” You don’t have to disrespect other people to prove you’re “High Value,” that defeats the purpose of being a better person.
Years ago I had a bf that moved to Vegas with his mom and because he had health issues and just because I wanted to be with him I left my own place and job to stay with him (I know dumb) but I figured I could make it anywhere. Anyway once being out there for a while, getting treated like ish by him and taken for granted, I decided to leave. Fortunately I didn’t completely give up my place, someone was subletting it but I was just about to give it up completely but someone talked sense into me. I went back, got my place back and found a new, good job. And was better off.
I had a new boyfriend… I talked about getting a new phone and he said that I should just get on his plan and I could Venmo him and he would pay my phone bill…. That right there was red flag number one. I pay for my own rent which he he didn’t even do… Pay for all my own bills but for some reason he wanted for me to not be in control of my own phone bill? I’ve lived alone for almost a decade and I’m only 28 years old. I’m more financially independent than every guy I’ve ever dated including my most recent ex-boyfriend… The more than I look back the more I realize why do you need to share a bill with me when we share nothing else in life. Weird.
He wanted to screen who you're talking to and be able to shut off/control your phone/plan if you angered him. Smart move not falling for it.
I come from a country where the vast majority of women stay home, aren’t highly educated and don’t work….and it is the cultural norm to expect getting smacked or beat by your husband….you cannot go the police and say your husband beat you because over there they say a man has a right to “ discipline his kids and wife since he is a hardworking g provider !! And the majority of women have ATLEAST been slapped once during their marriage, it is the norm……
Eastern European?
Wow, that is sad.
Wow very sad I could never
This is what happens everywhere that women are in these situations. The pwer goes to their heads and they abuse.
WTF WT DAMN F!!!!
People are angry with their personal situations and taking it out on other people on a broad level. People aren’t cookie cutter. We don’t think collectively.
Exactly
💯 it reminds me of proverbs 19:3 that says. “People ruin their own lives with foolishness but are angry at God.”
Wow! This was soo heartbreaking to watch! I pray this woman and her children get safe shelter asap! Thank you for this reminder Shumake. While traditional gender roles is the ideal situation for a lot of us, I know I’ve got to keep the income coming in regardless and savings account on swole!
But men always want to say women are bitter and emotional but it really be them smh.
Depending on someone else fully gives them a lot of power over you and in today’s world, people let power corrupt them.
That ain't no man doing that to his own kids. He was obviously cheating if he get like that for being asked why he was late.
It is 1000% a woman’s responsibility to create her own full life and have education and high income skills for herself
A man should be the icing on the cake. I do believe in men providing but what he brings should add to your already existing life
Much better when you know you are with someone out of love and choice. Rather than it being because you are broke and have nothing else to survive
I do feel like the signs of a man are often there that tell you he is not fully devoted or caring for your well being.
I agree, I was married and had 4 children when I left my husband. He was an abusive, narcissistic, phsycopath, I was pregnant with our child when I was finally able to escape. Since that day I made sure that I worked and maintained a home for my children and myself. You don’t know someone until you know them. In preparation and foresight for our safety. You don’t know someone until you know them. My husband and I had an agreement. I would stay home with the children and support his education until he was complete and then it would be my turn. To the point that he would come home for lunch and I would give him his college assignments that I had completed so that he would get the credits towards his degree. All for him to show his true colors. I was left with my children and nothing to show for years of sacrifice and consistency. Basically starting over at a deficit with no proof or respect. 😬 I continue to strive!🙌🏽 No matter how impossible and difficult the journey has been. It has been worth it! Whatever your going through think it out before you make a move. Remember in your most difficult times. “This Too Shall Pass. “!!!🙏🏽🙌🏽
If you’re married and filing Married Filing Jointly, a SAHM can have a Roth IRA. Most SAHM actually do bring money in. We don’t just sit around the house doing nothing. Some are on social media making money nowadays so it’s easier.
Thank you for this comment! I'm a homemaker, and most people have stereotypical misconceptions about us, and us not making money is the BIGGEST one. Every single woman in my circle is a homemaker and they all make money. My great grandmother was and so are 2 of my cousins and they make money as well. That is completely normal, but most people see videos like this and make assumptions about all of us as if some of us don't already know this.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682because there aren’t enough people telling us how to Make money…all we know is getting a job. If you don’t mind what are some ways to make that money?
Right. My husband works 7 days to provide me n our 3 kids with a nice life.
So when i ask him to do anything more, he think he do enough, paying bills n buying groceries.
And when he was out living his best life, and i question him about it- he put me in my place real quick telling me - he feed me, he clothed me....
And when it got real bad and i said for him to just go do his own thing,
He said i was the one had to leave- jobless with 3 kids.
And it was hurtful bc i felt i did nothing to contribute in the house, when i knew i held it down.
We broke up and got space and reevaluated our lifes goals and back together as a family.
But yes, i will not be a stay at home wife again. And i will teach my daughter to always ALWAYs have an income so nobody will stunt on you and TRY to make you feel less-than
Common now, the men was working 7 days a week.
Being a stay at home wife and mother today, has many challenges and it's not always positive. Some bm feel that as long as they are providing for the household they can do what ever they want without any bush back from the wife.
@@godsongodson1675 so because he was working 7 days a week he should go out and do anything he wants and not be questioned?? Come on now!
Ma'am. I think you were both wrong. You shouldn't have had that many kids where he needed to have worked that much OR you needed to get a job, smh. Imo, no whole adult should exhaust themselves for another able-bodied adult who can take care of themselves. That should've bothered you!
MY STRICT IMMIGRANT FATHER ALWAYS TOLD ME TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM MEN AND TO BE VERY CAREFUL.
This degree is beating my behind, but I'll stick with it before I have to put up with this kind of treatment. This gender war is crazy, each side will condone and justify bad behavior just to have one up on the other. it's sad because we need each other for the successful progression of society but it looks like everyone has given up on the idea of family building.
My granddaddy left my grandma with 4 kids. Only one kid actually recovered and made something of himself which was my Uncle. My ma made poor decisions and my sister and I suffered and have to claw our way to stability. My ex husband did something similar to me, but I was out working and out earning him, so I'm able to rebuild fairly quickly now. You can't put anything past anyone.
Thanks for sharing. I've been feeling a stirring in my soul to get my shit together. Being a stay at home wife and mother has been the biggest mistake I've made in thr last decade.
My husband has lost all respect for me, he screams at me daily, in front the children or others it doesn't matter. I try do hard not to upset him or make a mistake. I live in a constant state of panic for fear of upsetting him, only to upset him anyways because I'm so full of anxiety. He won't let me walk out the room sometimes or get off the phone. Everything is about control for him ATM. I don't understand why. I've completely submitted to him. I give him what he wants, I've learned his ways so he doesn't have to ask.
I'm scared, but starting up a ne w business right now. I think it's important.
So sorry that is living in bondage
I know how that feels… I’m doing much better now but living that way felt like I had lost all my energy and that my soul was being chipped away at. Walking on eggshells 24/7 and not knowing what would set him off.. I would try to avoid him as much as possible. Thank god I got away and feel like myself again! You can too! I wish you all the best and as you know, becoming successful in your financial independence is EXTREMELY important. I would also try to secretly talk to a family attorney-just be SURE he doesn’t find out- so that you know what your options are and can prepare for any emergency where you may need to get away. How you’re living now is no way to live. Try to also save a little at a time in a secret bank account that he doesn’t have access to. I can promise you that he’s already doing that. Also go to a womens group or a therapist if you can! Us women need to support each other! Don’t lose hope you got this 💪🏼
Im actually a stay at home mom. You just have to make sure you are secure in case anything goes wrong and you could take care of yourself if you wanted. If you take your spouse away financially and you don't know how you'd get by that's when it's a problem. Cause then you're one bad day away from nothing.
The lack of job experience will get you every time. Believe me, I know! You better start volunteering your time somewhere else!
Oh, and it takes money to be "secure," so I don't know what the hell you're talking about!
@@rayanajennings2689 money that I have. I have money that belongs to me separate from the money my man makes. So that's what I'm talking about.
@@rayanajennings2689 Also, with all due respect ma'am. You don't know how I spend my time.
@pratkier you have your own money, but don't have a job? Make it make sense ! It really sounds like you just have a false sense of security . This is exactly how women get comfortable and let their guard down.
A person who you depend on has the capability to feed you or to starve you.
I will always have my own.
And shelter or unshelter you❤
Every single male member of my family who has been in my life has given me the same advise to ensure that I am never 100% reliant on anyone, least not a man. I’ve always listened and made sure I have a leg to stand by being educated and always have it emergency savings, especially now as an adult. Also I find that in romantic relationships men don’t play games with me because they know I will not struggle or blink an eye if I need to leave them.
I just love your channel and how you keep it real whether you are talking about men or women. I will say this, you reap what you sow and people better be careful how they move in life. A video never goes away and treating a woman and child that way is low down and dirty. My mom use to tell me be careful how you treat people because the same person you mistreated may be the one that have to give you a cup of water on your death bed (and they may just take it and throw it in your face). Also, the ones who really suffer are the children. God is going to deal with these "loser men" accordingly. Thanks for doing the video.👍🙏🏽
Yup.
This is why I’m independent. Started with my dad not doing his job. Great video. I subscribed.