I think if you are at a loss of something to say, you aren't telling the truth. Lies are work, and you can run out of them. The truth is fractal and infinite and self-energizing. Say what you want, and ask the questions you want. You can interrupt. You can change the topic. You don' t have to answer the question asked of you. You can leave, and approach whomever you want to talk to.
I agree, silence should be embraced like taking a warm shower (like rejection). You can't be confident if you're always busy worrying about it. It's the emotion between what lines we say that makes the conversation good. Then again learning to "drive" the conversation is good.
I embrace the silence and value it, but there's always that anxiety that says "what if the other person doesn't like the silence. How does that reflect on me?" I own it, nonetheless, with hopes that the other person will see that it's ok to be silent too.
So today I just felt really anxious in a full group of people. We exchanged conversations and honestly, at some point, having these silent moments I felt so anxious and might have stuttered something to someone in a way I really didn't want to and probably wasn't best moment to even say it, ending up feeling more awkward. This is one of the reasons I just hate attending these events, because after I beat myself over it.. God. Thank you however for this lovely video and explanation, it put me at ease. Next time I'll embrace the silence❤
it is one of the points that freak me out when I start a conversation in English. I know I need to overcome this fear in a way to become a better English speaker.
I love this guy's videos. He's damn good at describing stuff, deep with his words, and gives really good pick-up/relationship advice. +he cares about nature's beautiful scenery.
this made me feel so much better because I was in a situation that I said something out loud and they asked me a question back and I completely stayed quiet maybe that's just because I was nervous or something
Great vid Shogo, keep 'em coming. Pretty interesting analogy, Silence sometimes needs to exist, because it seems real. There is no need to fill these gaps, if they come naturally. Peace! -André
yes, the problem isnt the silence itself. Its that if it makes you feel awkward or not okay with yourself. I know this is a old comment, but i return to this video from time to time.
here is my problem: i have often time no problem wih the moment of silence i kind of enjoy them ,but i feel other new people u talk to havent the same feeling ,so i think they feel kind of akward in the moment of silence . so i try to make them feel good by talking and here u are right that come across akward a lot of the time. BUT i dont really see what the solution to the problem is. be silence till some topic appear out of nowhere even if the time of silence is very long then ?
But how can we enjoy, say, a date if there is too much silences in between? I think you get into that stage where you enjoy the silence together, when you know that person for a long time and feel comfortable just doing nothing together. But when you're just getting to know somebody and there is too much silences in the conversation that definitely is not a good sign :/ What do you guys think?
How does this help when you're suppose to be social with a group of people and everyone left the room except you and one stranger? Should i just "embrace the silence" and sit there all quiet with a stranger?
Domt ask if they are enjoying themselves. Don't ask what they are thinking. Just enjoy the silence or just ask questions to create conversation. Remember, if they cant hold a conversation, be the one to walk away. You will not be happy with someone who looks at their phone when you talk.
This is a fair enough point-of-view ("don't be too concerned about silences in a conversation; they are perfectly natural and shouldn't cause any stress") but I think you could have made it in less than a minute. There is a lot of repetition, here. Also, I see nothing here to help anyone *avoid* awkward silences, which is, after all, the title of your video!
i dont understand..,. we're watching these guys talk and talk, but where is the original videos in action? thats what i want to see... quality footage, interacting with people and putting these concepts to use in action
I hit the awkward silence with my crush then like she speed walk away from me because when the awkward silence kicked in I was like whispering to myself "should I say it?" and she probably thought I was gonna ask her out...then I catched up to her and I was like "can I have your Snapchat" she said "no umm my dad is here" then she like jogged to her car.
The title is fine the way it is. I understand your suggestion, but it ignores the point that the term "awkward silence" is a perception of the mind, and not an occurrence in fact. Titling this, "How to deal with awkward silences" would not get to heart of the matter--namely that silences in conversation are only awkward because we make them so.
I want some of what this guys on. Seriously, if you can't maintain the P's and Q's of a basic dialogue-comparing a conversation to a coffee cup isn't going to help. What's the target audience here?... 14?
grigsolve This video is about how to handle awkward silences in conversation. This is not about how to maintain basic dialogue. There are other videos on the internet you can find on that topic, or I can make one if you would like--just tell me what areas you're curious about. Once you have understood how to maintain basic dialogue in conversation, please come back to this video and I think it will expand your communication skills.
Basically, in order for a cup to be a cup, it has to have the emptiness inside. If it were a thick solid mass of paper, it wouldn't be able to hold any liquid. What makes it useful is the emptiness and the fact that there is room for liquid.
Why are you explaining why we have awkward silence and not what to actually fill it with lol. Maybe the thing to learn from is your ability to keep talking about nonsense, which actually keeps the conversation going. I think you can keep conversations going but dunno how you do it.
Last weekend, i ran into this hot chick but she's like talkative yet kinda fools and pointless. Turn out, i felt bored, find a reason of get away and ditch her..poor girl probably using this idea
How to spend 6 mins saying so much but at the same time saying nothing lol. Not a single concrete solution was given, the title is how to avoid awkward silences not whether we should avoid awkward silences.
Sorry mate, no one can just sit there and 'enjoy the silence' when you're socially awkward. Makes me want to kill myself not knowing what to say after a short period meeting new people. Yes, it is practice, but it is alotof the times nerves too.
This video is quite unrelated to psychology. But more importantly, the belief that critical thinking can be either "valid" or "invalid" is itself a misunderstanding of critical thinking. Please do your research before posting comments like this.
I think if you are at a loss of something to say, you aren't telling the truth. Lies are work, and you can run out of them. The truth is fractal and infinite and self-energizing. Say what you want, and ask the questions you want. You can interrupt. You can change the topic. You don' t have to answer the question asked of you. You can leave, and approach whomever you want to talk to.
So non of this made sense to me as in I didnt get any insight on how to avoid this silences. But now I'm never gonna think of a cup as just a cup
I agree, silence should be embraced like taking a warm shower (like rejection). You can't be confident if you're always busy worrying about it. It's the emotion between what lines we say that makes the conversation good. Then again learning to "drive" the conversation is good.
I embrace the silence and value it, but there's always that anxiety that says "what if the other person doesn't like the silence. How does that reflect on me?" I own it, nonetheless, with hopes that the other person will see that it's ok to be silent too.
Ok so I gave this a go. We both embraced the silence for 15 minutes. Then she got up and left.
AWWWW LMFAO
Dominico Moranseeo how you seen this girl again?
lol he didnt said that you dont have to talk tu the peron , but he said that the conversation will come on youre own but not jus not talking. LMAO
Top 10 anime saddest moments.
She wasn't present.
So today I just felt really anxious in a full group of people. We exchanged conversations and honestly, at some point, having these silent moments I felt so anxious and might have stuttered something to someone in a way I really didn't want to and probably wasn't best moment to even say it, ending up feeling more awkward. This is one of the reasons I just hate attending these events, because after I beat myself over it.. God. Thank you however for this lovely video and explanation, it put me at ease. Next time I'll embrace the silence❤
it is one of the points that freak me out when I start a conversation in English. I know I need to overcome this fear in a way to become a better English speaker.
Bro are you learning English as well?
@@ИманТурусбеков yeah. In this last year i did a good progressing speaking to a lot of people. now im less afraid to talk
I love this guy's videos. He's damn good at describing stuff, deep with his words, and gives really good pick-up/relationship advice. +he cares about nature's beautiful scenery.
This guy's a beast.
There is good moments of silence when you are in good terms with a person. You are right. Let it happen.
Imagine if he was talking to nobody in the video
Tashie Snower you inspire me father 🙏🏽🙇🏽
I have owned the silence for years but usually the other person gets uncomfortable. I have absolutely no problem with silence.
When Eckart Tolle and other spiritual teachers leave us, I trust that the world will be in good hands with young fellas like Shogo :)
This was sooo deep,but at the same time ,you explained it really well and clearly!
Own the silence.
It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that celestial glory.
***** thank you bruce lee
He actually said heavenly glory
Brackish nz
Lol you idiot
this made me feel so much better because I was in a situation that I said something out loud and they asked me a question back and I completely stayed quiet maybe that's just because I was nervous or something
Great vid Shogo, keep 'em coming. Pretty interesting analogy, Silence sometimes needs to exist, because it seems real. There is no need to fill these gaps, if they come naturally.
Peace!
-André
Couldn't agree more with enjoying the silence.
Thanks Shogo, This helped tons! Keep doing what you're doing.
this really helped me alot now I'm not so awkward anymore 😊👌
wait so yo avoid awkward silence is to accept it?
yes, the problem isnt the silence itself. Its that if it makes you feel awkward or not okay with yourself. I know this is a old comment, but i return to this video from time to time.
You are brilliant! Why didn't I know about you before thank god i discovered you!
Shogo Garcia yo nice vids man. your points are really spot on and they do help. Thanks, Also you just got another Subscriber :D
I really like the psychology behind this brilliant cheers
here is my problem: i have often time no problem wih the moment of silence i kind of enjoy them ,but i feel other new people u talk to havent the same feeling ,so i think they feel kind of akward in the moment of silence . so i try to make them feel good by talking and here u are right that come across akward a lot of the time. BUT i dont really see what the solution to the problem is. be silence till some topic appear out of nowhere even if the time of silence is very long then ?
You're the real master guru
Be coffee my friend
its not even funny how confused I am right now.
Hes technically saying that its only awkward if you feel awkward, but if you talk to the person like a close friend or family member than it isnt.
Think like cup.. awkward cup
This guy is awesome! Haha actually makes me feel so enlightened and fills me with clarity.
But how can we enjoy, say, a date if there is too much silences in between? I think you get into that stage where you enjoy the silence together, when you know that person for a long time and feel comfortable just doing nothing together. But when you're just getting to know somebody and there is too much silences in the conversation that definitely is not a good sign :/ What do you guys think?
This usually happens with people I meet for the first time
♪ Enjoy the silence ♪♫
i never have that problem i always have things to say..after awhile you date bunch girls forget which story you told who to.
I like the silence, no one can talk forever, but girls they dont like it. They think its awkward I dont really I think its part of the convo
In simple terms: You don't write a letter on top of a newspaper.
Man that was great. You wold be great to have a coffee with! Keep it up :)
And btw any book recommendations or how you like to get your knowledge?
Great advice, btw does anyone know how that's called, that white top that he is wearing?
How does this help when you're suppose to be social with a group of people and everyone left the room except you and one stranger? Should i just "embrace the silence" and sit there all quiet with a stranger?
Domt ask if they are enjoying themselves. Don't ask what they are thinking. Just enjoy the silence or just ask questions to create conversation. Remember, if they cant hold a conversation, be the one to walk away. You will not be happy with someone who looks at their phone when you talk.
after watching this video I started questioning what was actually in that cup dude was probably drunk AF because I didnt understand shit
keene226 💀💀💀😂😂
You killed me bro
you have really nice hands
thank you
This is a fair enough point-of-view ("don't be too concerned about silences in a conversation; they are perfectly natural and shouldn't cause any stress") but I think you could have made it in less than a minute. There is a lot of repetition, here.
Also, I see nothing here to help anyone *avoid* awkward silences, which is, after all, the title of your video!
Nice stuff shogo
this shit got meta so fast
You do great videos bro I'm subscribed
you tell 'em Bruce Lee!
He reminds me of Robert California from The Office by the way he reads into a subject. lol :)
i dont understand..,. we're watching these guys talk and talk, but where is the original videos in action? thats what i want to see... quality footage, interacting with people and putting these concepts to use in action
Theres no such thing as awkward silences. Only awkward ppl
did u get the cup idea from bruce lee of how a liquid gets its shape? btw can we use the cup analogy and talk about the two girls one cup?
Gotta be Fred that's filming 6:26 :P
I like this
I hit the awkward silence with my crush then like she speed walk away from me because when the awkward silence kicked in I was like whispering to myself "should I say it?" and she probably thought I was gonna ask her out...then I catched up to her and I was like "can I have your Snapchat" she said "no umm my dad is here" then she like jogged to her car.
Rayt Xdft Ouch
😂 Damn... I am really sorry. It is okay. You have other chances. Maybe she jist really had to go.
Anyone else have a dirty mind and was thinking wrong when he was describing the cup 😂
Im with the whole skype lesson thing, please respond.
Oh God, Shogo, you know you have a simian line on you right hand.
vannida Tep On both hands! Am I doomed?!
oh really! You know what I have on both of hands too.
So have you ever heard about this thing before? DO you any ideas about this?
awesome shit
That point reallty good.. but im not enough good listening in english language..hmm i just can say. I got 30 percent from this video
You remind me of Lou diamond phillips
You look like Liu kang from mortal kombat
+tmac6187 tmac6187 lmao
hmm I'm confused.
How about you edit your title ? u talk about How to deal with awkward silences, not how to avoid it.
The title is on purpose. Because most viewers are expecting to learn how to avoid the silence, even if we should sometimes embrace it.
Chipadychuck :)
Chipadychuck I know thats why i wrote dat ;)
The title is fine the way it is. I understand your suggestion, but it ignores the point that the term "awkward silence" is a perception of the mind, and not an occurrence in fact. Titling this, "How to deal with awkward silences" would not get to heart of the matter--namely that silences in conversation are only awkward because we make them so.
I want some of what this guys on. Seriously, if you can't maintain the P's and Q's of a basic dialogue-comparing a conversation to a coffee cup isn't going to help. What's the target audience here?... 14?
grigsolve This video is about how to handle awkward silences in conversation. This is not about how to maintain basic dialogue. There are other videos on the internet you can find on that topic, or I can make one if you would like--just tell me what areas you're curious about. Once you have understood how to maintain basic dialogue in conversation, please come back to this video and I think it will expand your communication skills.
Shogo Garcia should a silences In a convertaion help you
Just ask what their favorite color and shape is ((((((:
😂 Terrible advice but funny.
Maybe I'm retarded but at the end I did not get the cup analogy at all with the feeling of emptiness inside. Can someone break it down more to me?
Basically, in order for a cup to be a cup, it has to have the emptiness inside. If it were a thick solid mass of paper, it wouldn't be able to hold any liquid. What makes it useful is the emptiness and the fact that there is room for liquid.
Awesome, very well said omier44!
Shogo Garcia so when the awkward silence come out i let it be for a moment then i talk again mr shogo?
be the fist , be formless xd
Why are you explaining why we have awkward silence and not what to actually fill it with lol.
Maybe the thing to learn from is your ability to keep talking about nonsense, which actually keeps the conversation going.
I think you can keep conversations going but dunno how you do it.
Last weekend, i ran into this hot chick but she's like talkative yet kinda fools and pointless. Turn out, i felt bored, find a reason of get away and ditch her..poor girl probably using this idea
Liu Kang
How to spend 6 mins saying so much but at the same time saying nothing lol. Not a single concrete solution was given, the title is how to avoid awkward silences not whether we should avoid awkward silences.
Sorry mate, no one can just sit there and 'enjoy the silence' when you're socially awkward. Makes me want to kill myself not knowing what to say after a short period meeting new people. Yes, it is practice, but it is alotof the times nerves too.
Go to College kids, or else you'll end up thinking this pseudo-psychology holds actual merit in valid critical thinking.
This video is quite unrelated to psychology. But more importantly, the belief that critical thinking can be either "valid" or "invalid" is itself a misunderstanding of critical thinking. Please do your research before posting comments like this.
Marcus oeaky is much better then this guy I recommend you guys to check out his videos