''constantly allowing the judgements of other people to be the deciding factor who they are as a person and use that as their measure of value" mannn this is so on point, I've spent nights crying over this shit
I used to have almost no boundaries. Now, I realise people cross my boundaries after like a day later. Nowadays I just cancel people as my boundary. If people disrespect me, why do I need them in my life? Respect is the foundation of every relationship- INFP
this is so relevant as an infp. oddly enough i have an extremely unhealthy and immature who i suspect is an isfp "friend" who i am now realizing has always insulted me in a "just joking" way to feed his fragile ego, and within the past few weeks has tuned it up with the rediculous behavior but still expects me to remain his friend. I guess at some point i have to learn when enough is enough and stop being a people pleaser
I've got an isfp friend to who I showed that 70 % percent of people were sensors I said I felt marginalized and she responded with 'good god.. I'm not going down that rabbit hole keep that cryptic shit to yourself' 💀Like I'm into a cult (i'm an enfp)
Amazing video. Thank you for understanding the vulnerability of Fi heroes so well, and for giving such valuable advice (from an ISFP female who has encountered these issues all her life). Brought a tear to my eye
Im an INFP. Was with an ENTJ last 6 months til recently. Was just trying out after a lot of self analysis for about 6 years after a 10 year relationship with an abuser... Or someone I allowed to abuse me... Anyway, so I ignored your stern message in your INFP ENTJ video and had goofy boundaries and nearly got swallowed up in narcissism. Luckily I am a "healthy" (whatever) 36 yo INFP so I spot manipulation like an eagle on a fieldmouse so it was not too bad... And I learned a lot of financial stuff, got to be in a poly relationship and liked it (grew up in one), and learned how ridiculously gullible I still am, so I am happy for the lessons to focus on now. In the end, taking my emotions out of situations helped me avoid unwanted domination. Your channel has been ridiculously helpful.
@@PaperMicShow yes me too I am bloody FASCINATED in such behavior!Is there an invitation link an access code something to your group??can I join somehow??
As I always say around here, I know and love many INFPs, and a few ISFPs as well. This video is extremely important to me, and also painful. I can see some of these behaviors in my gf and in one of the girls I sometimes hang out with who, unfortunately, suffered many sexual abyses since childhood. My gf's healing path is going well but my friend / fling's is often harsh. Thanks for sharing your vision and knowledge, Chase. I can't stress enough how it has benefited me and those around me and, surely, so many other people.
ISFP thanks for this video, I'll watch some oft your other IxFP advice videos. Unhealthy FJ types can be dangerous for ISFPs because of manipulation. (Maybe other types for bullying, but that is more obvious also for others.)
Great video. I realize I have come so far. lately I have been filtering out bad desires by making wise choices about what I want I think once an INFP becomes subdeveloped and unconscious focused then filtering out bad desires a lot easier. I fully trust that I can get what I want instead of accepting others wants for me. Even if I dont get all I want in life Im more content with what I have and accepting what I have rather than going along with other peoples desires.
I’m an ISFP married to a narcissist ISFJ 😩this video helped me see how I missed the gaslighting in the beginning. Can you do a video on this topic? How do I become empowered to get out? Trying to get back on my feet so I can become independent.
Very astute observations as usual chase, your articulation is to such a degree that i wont give my attention to anyone else when it comes to psychology. thankyou.
So thats what it means to have an underdeveloped parent function. I thought developed Ne parent means mostly being accurate in your predictions but its mostly being strong when your predictions fail.
This lecture sounds to my mind like a synchronicity (in the jungian acceptance). Just out from a relationship with an estp man (I'm an infp woman) where I was constantly traveling in my mind between setting bounderies to protect my will "against" his, and letting them down while assuming that, maybe he was more right than I was, wanting what he wanted. A part of me felt alienated. We finaly broke up because... he feared being alienated by me. I would say, in french: "Et la boucle est bouclée" ^^'
Thankyou for the video CS Joseph. I'm currently reading boundaries by townsend that you mentioned in another one of your videos. (what books can an ENFJ read to learn femininity). This one helps explore the topic a bit more. I found the book so far and this eye opening.
It's hard to cut off people. Easier the closer you are with being compatibility to cut people off. Harder with kindred.. (Rewatching for help.) Thank for the video Chase very helpful!
Personally i also find it difficult to distinguish between who is gaslighting me and who is trying to protect me. Sometimes with the crusader men in my life it seems like they are doing both and that can be so confusing. I guess development of the parent function and getting good at setting up boundaries would be the best way to deal with it. Then even if I dont know the persons intentions, or if they are mixed, I still have my boundary
If I think should I value this person wanting me, how do I know I'm making a proper Fi judgement since it can go with whatever feels good/right and therefore could be false? Basically I didn't really understand how to develop Ne parent
im kind of confused as an isfp... the things you say apply to my infp girlfriend very well but not to me. i used to act the way you described but that was a pretty long time ago, when i was in primary school or middle school. now, when im 20, i dont really relate to these things. so have i already developed my Se to be more responsible and mature? i mean, my infp gf tends to think low about herself based on her test results and stuff so there is a visible Te. im 100% sure about our types so idk, do all these things you say apply to every single isfp/infp? can we be somehwat different than that?
Aaand this is the exact lesson I learned. Thanks chase. Even though I just set this boundary-I knew I had to do it a long time ago. I have been going to school, being social and pushing myself. Being responsible and bearing my suffering has built me. I’m glad I was able to find my own self identity and worth on my own. The crazy part is that there was a moment where I tried to talk to my “inner child”(lol) and o just told her it was okay and that she could trust me to protect her. As soon as I did that there was a huge shift in perspective for me.
Hmm, interesting, but doesn't seem to be accurate for me for the most part, but some parts actually seem accurate . I'm ISFP, it's kinda easy for me to set boundaries and be rejected, i don't take life seriously, we're all gna die anyways, so why bother. , What i find harder is to set standards to myself , to be specific standards about health and keep that without any sidetrack, because as much as i try to be healthy and eat healthy , i fall into the habit or eating some shit food now and then which in returns fucks with my health because i have gut problems, which ends up me not being able to live a lifestyle that i want because i have constant health problems. Trying to fix my gut atm tho. As far as relationships, never felt or thought like that, the only thing i worry about is when relationship get's boring, i don't know what to do to make it fun and lively again or how to leave without hurting the other person to much, which leaves me feeling stuck often and disatisfied sometimes, and when i try and talk about the disatifasctions females just keep geting insulted, cry , blame and shit, so it simply seems why even bother, way easier to leave .😑 As far as blackmail, or however it's called, i don't think you can do that to Ni child, we'll rage with the freedom of choise being removed. As for gasslighting, that seems semi accurate, i have noticed that sometimes i see people gasslight me, and i don't really remember the shit they're talking about, so i'm wonder did i forget that, or that didn't really happen, but if have a totem or some kind of reminder and i remember, i go full rage mode on them and get ragy because i fucking hate false accusations, i've done some bad shit on these ocasions.. As for Te inferrior, atleast for me, it's not as much as my value comes from it, because i always put myself above everyone else in terms of priority and happiness, but it's the way i behave towards people . If we cool, we cool, but if you label me some kind of asshole, or selfish, or a monster because you got emotional or i didn't do what you wanted me to do, don't mind me when i'll live up to the label you set for me, so you actually see how that shit looks like and make you regret the shit that you said. Great example would be Mike Tyson when he got accused of raping that woman back in the day, and hi's reply was i wish i actually raped the bitch, because he was already labeled as such and faced with consequence of what he didn't do, he might asw have done it, atleast that's what happens in the heat of the moment and how our rationalization works. If you label or blame us for some shit we didn't do, it's highly likely we'll do it for you . Raising a voice, and body language and looking in the eyes does wonders for us, also giving people consequences for their actions. For the last part, i actually remember i was used and manipulated pretty often when i was like 13+ in terms of people playing a victim and me feeling bad for them and doing shit for them without even asking myself some questions or observing wuts going on first.
Chase, can you clarify how a person can lead w/ a trickster fx when parent fx is underdeveloped? I'm struggling to understand how that works or envisioning what that looks like? Pls give an example for ISTP. Much appreciated.
The more I think about ne trickster knowing I can't see it and actually fail with it in real time , I think I just need to go out more and see more and ask people their experiences to protect myself and I thought that was se parent making up for the trickster
I think my subconscious and unconscious is "blowing up in my face". I tried to Te my work without Si discipline and rigidness but with willpower. It failed and i got humbled. I am burt out now and get no work done.
I can't say for sure but my feeling is that ISTPs don't operate this way. Both ISTPs I know (sister-in-law and a somewhat distant friend) have a hard time getting out of bad relationships, though. Maybe Ne Trickster is bad at foreseeing bad choices or outcomes and Fe Inferior makes it hard for ISTPs to break the connection?
Question? What does that mean, they allow themselves to be blackmailed into becoming what people think? How would that play out? I don't believe what a person that is gaslighting me say.. Its manipulation to me and I hate hate hate manipulators with a Passion. I had hard boundaries when younger, now not so much. But I still have no problem walking away. ISFP
It creates a self fulfilling profesy. That's what it means. If others think that way about me (te inf) then I will become this thing, because I know that's not true but they insist that they are right and I'm wrong, so I will become this thing. In these cases the only thing that saves you is to be completely honest with yourself for saving yourself and do what the logic says to solve that problem.
INTP thanks Chase ☺. Awesome insight into my lifelong boundary issues, and useful, healing info. Fi types 🥀, I've lived some of your pain and confusion too. A recent video (Is Fi Trickster...) describes softlocking. Yep, maybe me. This video example of softlocking... Yep, definitely me, softlocked from almost day one. I'm tempted to claim hardlocked. Hum... CSJ spidey powers of perception are logical too 🦋. (Spidey... feels slight vibration from distant webs)
4:00 Oof. Can confirm. The one INFP I dated dumped me after I enthusiastically (apparently overly) talked about my current workout program and I think he could tell I was recommending it to him 😬. Too bad - he was extremely smart and successful - at the top of his field - as well as kind and the first date i vibed with the quickest :(. He sent me an email implying I wasn’t smart enough for him afterwards lol - he was objectively smarter without question but I don’t think that was the reason. I’ve seen him on the street afterwards and he still looked pissed. Oh well, guess that wouldn’t have worked out anyway 😂
As noted by Socionics the 6th function is as strong as the first. Just not as valued. The 6th function is the water the dominant function swims in. It is all around us. ISFPs and ISFJs both have 4/4 dimensional Si. Socionics proves that ISFJs, as Guardians actually lead with a judging function of Fi coupled with Se cautionary parent. And ISFPs, as Guardians actually lead with a sensing function of Si coupled with harmonizing Fe parent. Chase's actual subconscious = SiFe = ISFP in mbti. Which is why he made videos on his natural pairs not conflicting with Socionics Duality. Which is actually true for 4 of the 8 types that involve an introverted sensor.
''constantly allowing the judgements of other people to be the deciding factor who they are as a person and use that as their measure of value" mannn this is so on point, I've spent nights crying over this shit
I used to have almost no boundaries. Now, I realise people cross my boundaries after like a day later. Nowadays I just cancel people as my boundary. If people disrespect me, why do I need them in my life? Respect is the foundation of every relationship- INFP
exactly! it's the only fool-proof method after years of betrayal and taking hits to our self worth.
“The ego leads first with the trixter function.. “ that is sadly true.
this is so relevant as an infp. oddly enough i have an extremely unhealthy and immature who i suspect is an isfp "friend" who i am now realizing has always insulted me in a "just joking" way to feed his fragile ego, and within the past few weeks has tuned it up with the rediculous behavior but still expects me to remain his friend. I guess at some point i have to learn when enough is enough and stop being a people pleaser
I've got an isfp friend to who I showed that 70 % percent of people were sensors I said I felt marginalized and she responded with 'good god.. I'm not going down that rabbit hole keep that cryptic shit to yourself' 💀Like I'm into a cult (i'm an enfp)
Amazing video. Thank you for understanding the vulnerability of Fi heroes so well, and for giving such valuable advice (from an ISFP female who has encountered these issues all her life). Brought a tear to my eye
Dude, ESFJs can be so evil in such an insidious way. I’m super protective of the flow of info now.
Im an INFP. Was with an ENTJ last 6 months til recently. Was just trying out after a lot of self analysis for about 6 years after a 10 year relationship with an abuser... Or someone I allowed to abuse me... Anyway, so I ignored your stern message in your INFP ENTJ video and had goofy boundaries and nearly got swallowed up in narcissism. Luckily I am a "healthy" (whatever) 36 yo INFP so I spot manipulation like an eagle on a fieldmouse so it was not too bad... And I learned a lot of financial stuff, got to be in a poly relationship and liked it (grew up in one), and learned how ridiculously gullible I still am, so I am happy for the lessons to focus on now. In the end, taking my emotions out of situations helped me avoid unwanted domination. Your channel has been ridiculously helpful.
Hello dear infp .. u were in poly r.s with an entj .. and u liked it ? Please can u share your experience am just curious
@@PaperMicShow yes me too I am bloody FASCINATED in such behavior!Is there an invitation link an access code something to your group??can I join somehow??
wow
@@pinklasagna8328 wow
@@SykeeNot 😂 am not trying to troll her or invade her privacy .. just trying to gain knowledge and learn
As I always say around here, I know and love many INFPs, and a few ISFPs as well. This video is extremely important to me, and also painful.
I can see some of these behaviors in my gf and in one of the girls I sometimes hang out with who, unfortunately, suffered many sexual abyses since childhood. My gf's healing path is going well but my friend / fling's is often harsh.
Thanks for sharing your vision and knowledge, Chase. I can't stress enough how it has benefited me and those around me and, surely, so many other people.
Amazing lecture. I loved the distinction between the two types' differences with establishing vs. enforcing boundaries.
ISFP thanks for this video, I'll watch some oft your other IxFP advice videos.
Unhealthy FJ types can be dangerous for ISFPs because of manipulation. (Maybe other types for bullying, but that is more obvious also for others.)
Great video.
I realize I have come so far. lately I have been filtering out bad desires by making wise choices about what I want I think once an INFP becomes subdeveloped and unconscious focused then filtering out bad desires a lot easier. I fully trust that I can get what I want instead of accepting others wants for me. Even if I dont get all I want in life Im more content with what I have and accepting what I have rather than going along with other peoples desires.
I’m an ISFP married to a narcissist ISFJ 😩this video helped me see how I missed the gaslighting in the beginning. Can you do a video on this topic? How do I become empowered to get out? Trying to get back on my feet so I can become independent.
Narcissist with high Si is concerning
@Violet_Odorata
Why
Very astute observations as usual chase, your articulation is to such a degree that i wont give my attention to anyone else when it comes to psychology. thankyou.
Hope this's changed
I love the intro...music, visuals, the whole vibe.
So thats what it means to have an underdeveloped parent function. I thought developed Ne parent means mostly being accurate in your predictions but its mostly being strong when your predictions fail.
SO HOW DO WE DEVELOP NE?
Ne = personal responsibility?
What is personal responsibility?
This lecture sounds to my mind like a synchronicity (in the jungian acceptance). Just out from a relationship with an estp man (I'm an infp woman) where I was constantly traveling in my mind between setting bounderies to protect my will "against" his, and letting them down while assuming that, maybe he was more right than I was, wanting what he wanted. A part of me felt alienated.
We finaly broke up because... he feared being alienated by me. I would say, in french: "Et la boucle est bouclée" ^^'
Thankyou for the video CS Joseph. I'm currently reading boundaries by townsend that you mentioned in another one of your videos. (what books can an ENFJ read to learn femininity). This one helps explore the topic a bit more. I found the book so far and this eye opening.
It's hard to cut off people. Easier the closer you are with being compatibility to cut people off. Harder with kindred..
(Rewatching for help.)
Thank for the video Chase very helpful!
Personally i also find it difficult to distinguish between who is gaslighting me and who is trying to protect me. Sometimes with the crusader men in my life it seems like they are doing both and that can be so confusing. I guess development of the parent function and getting good at setting up boundaries would be the best way to deal with it. Then even if I dont know the persons intentions, or if they are mixed, I still have my boundary
Relatable but I am getting better at growing my boundaries and a couple of my friends are empowering me. But yea I'm growing and it's painful.
Thank you for the isfp video sir, I really appreciate it
Do you recommand building a family with a pedagogue relationship as a female infp ? what does it take for this relationship to work ?
Does every function “wake up” at a specific point? All in adolescence?
crazy you make this video and me and infp is dealing w cutting a “friend” off rn
If I think should I value this person wanting me, how do I know I'm making a proper Fi judgement since it can go with whatever feels good/right and therefore could be false? Basically I didn't really understand how to develop Ne parent
Noooo my INFP girlfriend doesn’t have boundaries but I love it cos I don’t either.
im kind of confused as an isfp... the things you say apply to my infp girlfriend very well but not to me. i used to act the way you described but that was a pretty long time ago, when i was in primary school or middle school. now, when im 20, i dont really relate to these things. so have i already developed my Se to be more responsible and mature? i mean, my infp gf tends to think low about herself based on her test results and stuff so there is a visible Te. im 100% sure about our types so idk, do all these things you say apply to every single isfp/infp? can we be somehwat different than that?
Someone here is mistyped
Holy shittt lol I JUST set one today and I feel like trash. Perfect timing.
Aaand this is the exact lesson I learned. Thanks chase. Even though I just set this boundary-I knew I had to do it a long time ago. I have been going to school, being social and pushing myself. Being responsible and bearing my suffering has built me. I’m glad I was able to find my own self identity and worth on my own. The crazy part is that there was a moment where I tried to talk to my “inner child”(lol) and o just told her it was okay and that she could trust me to protect her. As soon as I did that there was a huge shift in perspective for me.
Hmm, interesting, but doesn't seem to be accurate for me for the most part, but some parts actually seem accurate .
I'm ISFP, it's kinda easy for me to set boundaries and be rejected, i don't take life seriously, we're all gna die anyways, so why bother. ,
What i find harder is to set standards to myself , to be specific standards about health and keep that without any sidetrack, because as much as i try to be healthy and eat healthy , i fall into the habit or eating some shit food now and then which in returns fucks with my health because i have gut problems, which ends up me not being able to live a lifestyle that i want because i have constant health problems. Trying to fix my gut atm tho.
As far as relationships, never felt or thought like that, the only thing i worry about is when relationship get's boring, i don't know what to do to make it fun and lively again or how to leave without hurting the other person to much, which leaves me feeling stuck often and disatisfied sometimes, and when i try and talk about the disatifasctions females just keep geting insulted, cry , blame and shit, so it simply seems why even bother, way easier to leave .😑 As far as blackmail, or however it's called, i don't think you can do that to Ni child, we'll rage with the freedom of choise being removed.
As for gasslighting, that seems semi accurate, i have noticed that sometimes i see people gasslight me, and i don't really remember the shit they're talking about, so i'm wonder did i forget that, or that didn't really happen, but if have a totem or some kind of reminder and i remember, i go full rage mode on them and get ragy because i fucking hate false accusations, i've done some bad shit on these ocasions..
As for Te inferrior, atleast for me, it's not as much as my value comes from it, because i always put myself above everyone else in terms of priority and happiness, but it's the way i behave towards people .
If we cool, we cool, but if you label me some kind of asshole, or selfish, or a monster because you got emotional or i didn't do what you wanted me to do, don't mind me when i'll live up to the label you set for me, so you actually see how that shit looks like and make you regret the shit that you said.
Great example would be Mike Tyson when he got accused of raping that woman back in the day, and hi's reply was i wish i actually raped the bitch, because he was already labeled as such and faced with consequence of what he didn't do, he might asw have done it, atleast that's what happens in the heat of the moment and how our rationalization works. If you label or blame us for some shit we didn't do, it's highly likely we'll do it for you .
Raising a voice, and body language and looking in the eyes does wonders for us, also giving people consequences for their actions.
For the last part, i actually remember i was used and manipulated pretty often when i was like 13+ in terms of people playing a victim and me feeling bad for them and doing shit for them without even asking myself some questions or observing wuts going on first.
Chase, can you clarify how a person can lead w/ a trickster fx when parent fx is underdeveloped? I'm struggling to understand how that works or envisioning what that looks like? Pls give an example for ISTP. Much appreciated.
Interesting ...
The more I think about ne trickster knowing I can't see it and actually fail with it in real time , I think I just need to go out more and see more and ask people their experiences to protect myself and I thought that was se parent making up for the trickster
I think my subconscious and unconscious is "blowing up in my face". I tried to Te my work without Si discipline and rigidness but with willpower. It failed and i got humbled. I am burt out now and get no work done.
What does it mean?? Tried to te my work without si but with willpower?
@@jerrymen7135 tried to be efficient without discipline but with sheer will and forcing myself to do it.
Always good mr cs .
daylight chase oh wait, should i make a bad joke about chasing daylight?
Do ISTPs do the "seek out the bad thing" too? Or no, because their Fi isn't in a loop with their Ni?
I can't say for sure but my feeling is that ISTPs don't operate this way.
Both ISTPs I know (sister-in-law and a somewhat distant friend) have a hard time getting out of bad relationships, though. Maybe Ne Trickster is bad at foreseeing bad choices or outcomes and Fe Inferior makes it hard for ISTPs to break the connection?
@@maupeccin Ni + Fe child/inferior creates extreme doormatting if they desire a person and especially when they want that person to want them
Question? What does that mean, they allow themselves to be blackmailed into becoming what people think? How would that play out? I don't believe what a person that is gaslighting me say..
Its manipulation to me and I hate hate hate manipulators with a Passion. I had hard boundaries when younger, now not so much. But I still have no problem walking away. ISFP
It creates a self fulfilling profesy. That's what it means.
If others think that way about me (te inf) then I will become this thing, because I know that's not true but they insist that they are right and I'm wrong, so I will become this thing. In these cases the only thing that saves you is to be completely honest with yourself for saving yourself and do what the logic says to solve that problem.
INTP thanks Chase ☺. Awesome insight into my lifelong boundary issues, and useful, healing info.
Fi types 🥀, I've lived some of your pain and confusion too.
A recent video (Is Fi Trickster...) describes softlocking. Yep, maybe me. This video example of softlocking... Yep, definitely me, softlocked from almost day one. I'm tempted to claim hardlocked.
Hum... CSJ spidey powers of perception are logical too 🦋. (Spidey... feels slight vibration from distant webs)
4:00 Oof. Can confirm. The one INFP I dated dumped me after I enthusiastically (apparently overly) talked about my current workout program and I think he could tell I was recommending it to him 😬. Too bad - he was extremely smart and successful - at the top of his field - as well as kind and the first date i vibed with the quickest :(. He sent me an email implying I wasn’t smart enough for him afterwards lol - he was objectively smarter without question but I don’t think that was the reason. I’ve seen him on the street afterwards and he still looked pissed. Oh well, guess that wouldn’t have worked out anyway 😂
why would a job recommendation be offensive to anyone?? I don't get FPs sometimes... it's like I understand most things except a few things.
@@aladdout9454 No it was an exercise recommendation lol 😬
As noted by Socionics the 6th function is as strong as the first. Just not as valued.
The 6th function is the water the dominant function swims in. It is all around us.
ISFPs and ISFJs both have 4/4 dimensional Si.
Socionics proves that ISFJs, as Guardians actually lead with a judging function of Fi coupled with Se cautionary parent. And ISFPs, as Guardians actually lead with a sensing function of Si coupled with harmonizing Fe parent.
Chase's actual subconscious = SiFe = ISFP in mbti.
Which is why he made videos on his natural pairs not conflicting with Socionics Duality. Which is actually true for 4 of the 8 types that involve an introverted sensor.
Does this also apply to INTPs with Ne parent? INTPs don't seem to care what people think of them.
I thought INFP's consumed justification with Ne parent instead of producing it?
Wouldn't the consummation of the Justification be done through Fi? Ne produced it as a perception? Just a thought
@@waffensuperninja no satisfaction and justification are ne si and authority and purpose are te fi
chris Taylor the goat
yes!
am i fighting demons or am i the demon 🥲
Think you have improved your delivery. There’s more clarity and you are easier to listen to.
He made it easier for new subscribers to understand
Because I smoke while filming
i love those gloves
ahh... this is why I lose all my friends. I see.
1st