It's giving up hope for a real and loving relationship with the narcissist, which is realistic and frees one to be real within other relationships. It's like this: "THIS is what YOU (the narc) are constraining - through YOUR nature - our relationship to be. I accept. And you NO LONGER HAVE POWER OVER ME."
This is very difficult, but it can be done. If you are trapped, you have no choice. The hardest part is regulating your emotions when they are being horrible.
Need to detach and look at the situation as an observer as if it's a stage with oneself on it included. Then it helps to control and regulate our emotions.
I agree, I can handle myself with anyone. I've always prided myself with that and have always taken leadership or management positions because of my people skills. With my narcissistic- I have a hard time regulating my emotions because it's my husband and it's in my home, in my face, non stop. It's very difficult
Learn/practice Gray Rock first as you observe their behavior then slowly introduce his methods otherwise you'll be going into the fight without armor/shield
Yeah. They are not as smart as they want people to believe they are. They can only fool you if you trust them. But having said that,it's best to leave them and not look back. It's not worth it. Value your peace 😊
Rewarding his good behavior with positive attention has worked for me. And stonewalling for bad behavior is very effective in getting the message across. This is a toddler in training.
The best defense is hiding your true emotions from them. When you ignore them and they can no longer make you react they completely fold. Yes you are playing a game but believe me it pays off.
🔥 Our empathy is their power. The day we become intelligent enough to know who to give it to or if we become discerning of the situation and leave the person when they've fooled us twice or thrice, that's when narcissists will have no power over us. They're selfish to the core. Let's leave our codependency and become inter-dependent. ✌🏼
OMG! This is my life right now. I have been watching you for two years now after deciding to leave after 30 years of abuse. I am being financially abused so I can't leave. I have mastered all 5 until I can move out. You are one of my life lines. Thank you.
I find that counter manipulating a narcissist is a waste of time. Might as well invest that precious energy into building a better,more healthier life for yourself and your kids. Why get in the mud and play their game? Best to pick up their pieces and move on. They are not worth it
That's very true. I can't leave yet either. In my case I have been married for 30 years. I wasn't allowed to work or establish credit. I don't know anything about building a life from scratch at 50. It's taking me longer and I'm being financially abused. I'm struggling but I won't stop. I want to peacefully enjoy the rest of my life. Alone.
10:15 at this point, im sitting here saying to myself, "Yeah, surviving a Narc means doppleganging their own tactics," because 😅 ...these tactics ive used, and imo, they were things i learned FROM him & his treatment of me.
I’m so glad you mentioned about the children. Im open and honest with my children and they are both very clued up on their father’s games. I’d rather that than them grow up allowing that kind of behaviour because they had to take it as a child.
Danish by God's grace my strategy remained similar as you are guiding..4points I used..and I was at win place when my children settled in their professional career...I never used him Narc...10 years ago I was unaware abt this...mind game I played just to save me&my children... Thankyou Danish .ur approval is a p
I'm explaining everything to my 11 yr old daughter. And now she is able to notice things and see the root of that particular issue. She is so smart and we do these tricks. We even give each other a secret wink when they work. Because we've earned ourselves a moment of peace!!
@@pinklillies6301 they get to a certain age where they start noticing things. And you realize you don't have to stay for them, because they too want to leave. Stay safe and good luck!
I have talked to my son about some of my husband's behavior in the past...rarely. When it was clearly abusive, I would tell him, "he is being abusive to you. DO I do X thing to you?" My son could see the difference in the behavior. I would tell my husband not to do this thing again, but without fail eventually he would. To be clear, it is not abusive in a way that would get the courts to do anything, but calling him names like lazy while he is working on a project but his father is standing and watching.
If you're at your best and they are mirroring you like a thief stealing who you are, then they've got something to live up too because when you're gone there's a power vacuum they need to fill. They have to live up to your image if they are going to copy it.
About a year after leaving him, i called him on the phone. I said, "do you know why i stayed so long?" He asked why - thinking, i am sure, that i would say, "because I love you." But i did NOT. I said, "I just kept thinking it would get better " he made a weird noise and hung up. I called back and left a message saying, "NOW I am mad." Have not heard from him since. 🎉
Cool-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, (but I really miss him)
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
I was never even asked where the kids should go to school....as their mom. A former straight A, honor roll student......He just decided & decided & I wasn't given any other option. I just Pray for my kids.
In a nutshell, nothing is ever enough. When you have the lightbulb moment , and run for the hills. You eventually realize you are not alone, and reset. No need to get bitter, just maintain the higher ground if you can.
11:29 - "if you want to know truth in any situation where a narcissist is involved" - thank you for this, this is really helpful. Thank you so much for the part about the children, it gives me hope.
On certain subjects they are smart on a surface level, but they always fail at the root level. Jesus in the wilderness is an excellent story that demonstrates the differences in surface level knowledge vs. root knowledge.
#4 "Discovering Their Truth" really hits home for me regarding my sister and mom. You said that it takes time to be able to do that and since it's my family, I had that time (from childhood). My narcissistic sister. Where do I begin? So many examples. She's absolutely hateful to me. A glaringly obvious one: she loves calling me a b-tch. She'll yell it in a growlingly angry tone. "B-TCH!!👿" Guess who's the "b-tch" in life in general? Yep. Her. She's a mean 'ol thing. She's embarrassing to be with out in public. She flips people off. She's loud, rude, and obnoxious. Confrontational. Blatantly breaks rules. I wish I was exaggerating or making it up. Unfortunately, I'm not. I doubt I have to add this, but I'm not that way. OMG...I'd be too mortified. Plus, it'd hurt my heart to be that mean to people. I know that any accusations she makes of me are her stating the obvious opposite. Thank you, Danish, for revealing them as liars. For teaching us the truth. And for helping us to heal.🌹
I call truth on my own truth. Let them be them and no problem.. But o will be me... I will not take the bait anymore.. I just say my truth nicely..do not respond when the gaslight... My boundaries were completely walked over... Now.. I just don't care what they do or say.. literally leave the phone on the table while they talk and walk away and Pray for Grace... pick it up when they have finished trying to get a reaction and say, anyway love You gotta go....
I learned that when I want something, I have to mention it, then do a 180 and say how it could never be, or how it is wrong for me to want it. Then they are more likely to give it to me. It is just like the vacation example.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Knowledge is power. Jazakallah to you danish I've been being abused since 22 years, now I know the terms, when he's love bombing, I don't slip.when he is manipulate , I manipulate him. He future fakes , I do the same to him. If you can't leave , stay and enjoy as they are very insecure. When it comes to money, I'm dependant and I can't help it . He tells me you don't give my children proper food which I do, now I've learned to say , I give and I believe. On daily basis he says something about my cooking and after crying for 22 years I say I cook good and I believe in myself. So keep watching 12:41 danish and chill.
This is a unique narcissist post ! and indeed u have nailed al the points.. which are very crucial ..and guess what if implemented we can also live a happy life except milignant... to have a happy life with NPD or BPD.. which i adopt ..!
I hold the divorce card now. He used to scream at me to just leave if I didn’t like it. Ok. I took that to an attorney and came home with ‘if you ever scream at me again this is what you will lose’ and presented him with the financial breakdown of a divorce. So he’s no longer screaming but still name calling. They just can’t stop, y’all. Even when they know they will lose everything. And that’s why you never trust them. Ever..
A divorce card is good, but we all need to be ready and able emotionally and physically to carry it out. Once “he/she” pushes back on it, testing “that new boundary”, if we’re not able to go through with the divorce we will be attacked with more vengeance.
Yes, do-able, with discipline and support. I've done it, but not for long. I think while their behavior is less aware, yours would have a goal, trustworthy resources, as little as possible at stake, and no limerence. This would be less like manipulation and more like being the adult in the room. My concern would be to make sure I'm not using this as coping and deflecting from doing my own inner work. As I write this and think back, I believe this difficult challenge motivated me to keep finding my way forward, all at the same time. Whew!
I hv been doing this very well on my out °EXISTING °jsr certain things n the way but im handling him... anything & all knowledge im willing to obtain...your phenomenal i listen to u jst about Everyday .. what I hv learned to do sense his mask came if is just what your talking about today...
Unfortunately all of my friends and family have huge narcissistic tendencies. This is why we don’t hang out. How fun or smart is it to be with people who think it’s all about you helping them And think that is your purpose? Every time they open their mouth a lie drops out. People in my life don’t value their own words- it’s cray cray out here.
Hi sir thank you so much some i have used and hes stingy narcissist bcoz he gives little back and unfortunately im still inlove but distant in way bcoz of the abuse trying to get my kids sorted out, legally bcz we only traditionally married they cant do anything for free here on SA, some women are truly helpless..❤
The Hippocratic Oath, a foundational document in medical ethics, has been a cornerstone of medical professionalism for over 2,500 years. While the oath itself does not contain the exact phrase “do no harm,” it does convey a commitment to avoiding harm and promoting the well-being of ALL patients. Your signature program sounds very interesting as a medical doctor myself.
#5 is so important! Unfortunately I didn't realize this when the children were young, so their narc dads manipulated them both against me (9 yrs apart - 2 different narc dads )
With a covert narcissist mother and an over narcissist father, it's a wonder to me, with all I know now, that I'm still alive. My siblings are alive, to my knowledge, but they are mentally ill. I have never once shed a tear or missed them a single day since before their deaths.
When it comes to the day where i get child support from my narc exhubby, I start telling him 2,3 days before that day how smart he is, how he as a man is so important for the childrens developement, how we trust him etc.. And then he not only gives me more money than he should by law, he also goes with us for dinner or we go for shopping. If you admire them, they can give you a lot. (By the way, he is jobless since years, never helped me with anything, and lived a doublelife while we were married)..
Self-blame is normal, it's the ghost of that narc still haunting our minds, 'Well why didn't you just leave? Why did it take you that long?' I get this too, and I hate it but what would I do differently? Always assume the worst of people? Be suspicious of their every action? assume everything they say is a lie? never consider their feelings or ever help them out? Being deceived in a relationship means you valued relationship over self-interest. So you didn't waste those years; they molded your empathy, with your ultimate awakening being the firing of that clay---only done when you were ready. It's yours to keep now for the rest of your life: stronger, steadfast and wise.
I think the best thing to do is to tell yourself that you were fighting a monster that was at level 100 and you had to gather your strength to be able to start fighting. It was hard, because they constantly take your energy and you have to go to the next level again. They leave you in a state of confusion, and an empathetic person always hopes that conflicts will be resolved and that someone will change. Have compassion and love for yourself. I have read comments from people who have been with narcissists for 60 years or their whole life. Now you are free and can rest and enjoy life 😊
Struggling with this myself. I just kept telling myself I had no idea what it was that I was dealing with and that I was learning what they were and how to deal with it. This can take decades for some poor souls so that we got out after only 10 years is very good. Be the friend to yourself you never had. Literally speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend who was in your position. Guaranteed you will be far less hard on yourself. We need to learn how to be normal and stop demanding a fully trained psychiatrists understanding of one of the most nefarious minds that we were confronted with. A psychiatrist with 40 years experience to boot. We never stood a chance. Be kind to yourself
@bleelee4566 That's true too, I've used this 'method' of being own friend. I think it helps especially people who have always had a hard time taking care of themselves, because they've always taken care of others more. Such people are also easy targets for narcissists or generally used
OMGosh. I could write TWO books on just the LAST Narc I was with!!! It was MORE of a SHOCK to find out WHO He REALLY Was - because we were (what I thought) BEST Friends (clearly NOT really) for 11-years, before we crossed the line!!!!
Also i have never seen one of them to change ,only get worse with age.Do not agree wit no 1,the more you answer them the more they pester you day after day,Completely blocking them out works after a while.
I never tried the others, not sure if I could have... But i tried the child thing but he still fought me for ages in family court (and lost, because I was child focused, so now he's trying to punish me in divorce court)
My bro has been complaining about his side. It was a pulled muscle. I said , oh its nothing serious. He said if I broke my arm it would be nothing serious.
Ha ha ha if you know the rules from the game, they let you in peace because you’re not fun anymore, on the moment I get the silent treatment, last time that was more than a year and of a half. I am curious how long it will be this time, maybe a longer because I confronted him with his lies. He’s picking up the pieces and recovering from his loss 😊😊😊😊
Yep - I'm stuck at a job working for a Covert Narc with Malignant Overlap, until the beginning of the year, when hiring will begin again. Need tools to deal with this Cluster B Monster until I can escape this Gulag I'm currently working in - he, and this environment, is misogynist AF too.
If they notice thatyou start to look bad or get fat,,usually because of the abuse,,so what? You know how big the world is,,and lets say that you are REALLY aging, so what? Can YOU accept and LOVE yourself? Isnt it your inevitabiw right? Your journey no matter what
I have learned to play with their game very lately, but I didn’t Mine Narcissist is shameless and selfish.He doesn’t care what others think about him and how children suffer. All three of his characters are contact less with him coz they have recognized his character towards them.
Dont you think that you may educate people to become generally manipulative or even narcissistic ? I get why you do this, But I fear you educate people to become themselves narcissistic ...
It is manipulation. That's anathema to we who want so much to be real - to have truly close and equal and trusting relationship with them. His suggestions are for survival when you cannot leave or will not leave for the time being. Raising children, wanting to be part of grandchildrens lives, etc. For your sanity AND empowerment his suggestions will keep you whole, self-respecting, and hopeful.
All our toilets connects to the ocean.. the fish and shrimps and lobsters eat our toilet. And we eat the fish that's covered in our toilet😂😂😂😂..planet earth is literally a septic tank😂😂😂😂
My narc got very upset bc she thought I was specifically making fun of her breathing. No, I was mocking her controlling ways. I laughed at her for hyperventilating because she couldn't get her tv remote to work. I told her how pathetic that was, and that she is so pathetic that she called the cable company to come fix the cable. She spent hours on the phone whining. When I decided I would help it took me 5 minutes. I'm to the point I get joy from humiliating the narcs I am unfortunately stuck with at this point in my life.
70% Discount on all my Best Selling Programs:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/blckfriday
Train me daddy
It’s like having to develop sociopathy just to cope with a narcissist
Lol
It's giving up hope for a real and loving relationship with the narcissist, which is realistic and frees one to be real within other relationships.
It's like this: "THIS is what YOU (the narc) are constraining - through YOUR nature - our relationship to be. I accept. And you NO LONGER HAVE POWER OVER ME."
Detachment and no remorse for them 👏🏼
Exactly
Im one of the few who "knows" how to play the game. And once they are seen. They can't be unseen.
🤔 Hmmm
Been there burned that
Absolute facts... I know how to play the game too. 💯💯💯
I'm proud of you it is very hard😊
Same here @@NashvilleNative3113
This is very difficult, but it can be done. If you are trapped, you have no choice. The hardest part is regulating your emotions when they are being horrible.
Agree. Otherwise, we end up turning into a version of them.
Need to detach and look at the situation as an observer as if it's a stage with oneself on it included. Then it helps to control and regulate our emotions.
Yes, "observe don't absorb."
I agree, I can handle myself with anyone. I've always prided myself with that and have always taken leadership or management positions because of my people skills. With my narcissistic- I have a hard time regulating my emotions because it's my husband and it's in my home, in my face, non stop. It's very difficult
Learn/practice Gray Rock first as you observe their behavior then slowly introduce his methods otherwise you'll be going into the fight without armor/shield
Yeah. They are not as smart as they want people to believe they are. They can only fool you if you trust them. But having said that,it's best to leave them and not look back. It's not worth it. Value your peace 😊
Yessssz☺️Ny Words exactly
Rewarding his good behavior with positive attention has worked for me. And stonewalling for bad behavior is very effective in getting the message across. This is a toddler in training.
Hmmmmm
Hummmm
Toddler in training 😂🔥
But what about being relaxed, unguarded, non-manipulative? Does that EVER happen?!
Pavlova dog 😂
Whatever you do with them, you never win. Just ignore and move on.
The best defense is hiding your true emotions from them. When you ignore them and they can no longer make you react they completely fold. Yes you are playing a game but believe me it pays off.
🔥 Our empathy is their power.
The day we become intelligent enough to know who to give it to or if we become discerning of the situation and leave the person when they've fooled us twice or thrice, that's when narcissists will have no power over us.
They're selfish to the core. Let's leave our codependency and become inter-dependent. ✌🏼
OMG! This is my life right now. I have been watching you for two years now after deciding to leave after 30 years of abuse. I am being financially abused so I can't leave. I have mastered all 5 until I can move out. You are one of my life lines. Thank you.
Dont know your financial circumstances but believe in yourself to survive - and even thrive.
I find that counter manipulating a narcissist is a waste of time. Might as well invest that precious energy into building a better,more healthier life for yourself and your kids. Why get in the mud and play their game? Best to pick up their pieces and move on. They are not worth it
Sometimes you're tied up by finances, joint custody, lack of backup or stupid misogynistic laws.
Not everyone can avoid them or just leave
@@user-lt3yb4fm6qTHIS
Yes definitely. Well said@@user-lt3yb4fm6q
@@user-lt3yb4fm6qyes definitely well said.
That's very true. I can't leave yet either. In my case I have been married for 30 years. I wasn't allowed to work or establish credit. I don't know anything about building a life from scratch at 50. It's taking me longer and I'm being financially abused. I'm struggling but I won't stop. I want to peacefully enjoy the rest of my life. Alone.
I wish you all freedom from this life of bondage.😢
10:15 at this point, im sitting here saying to myself, "Yeah, surviving a Narc means doppleganging their own tactics," because 😅 ...these tactics ive used, and imo, they were things i learned FROM him & his treatment of me.
Though I am stuck (right now), I have no interest in training my narc husband. My focus is on getting out and getting on with my life😊
I’m so glad you mentioned about the children. Im open and honest with my children and they are both very clued up on their father’s games. I’d rather that than them grow up allowing that kind of behaviour because they had to take it as a child.
Danish by God's grace my strategy remained similar as you are guiding..4points I used..and I was at win place when my children settled in their professional career...I never used him Narc...10 years ago I was unaware abt this...mind game I played just to save me&my children... Thankyou Danish .ur approval is a p
Same here.
I'm explaining everything to my 11 yr old daughter. And now she is able to notice things and see the root of that particular issue. She is so smart and we do these tricks. We even give each other a secret wink when they work. Because we've earned ourselves a moment of peace!!
Same I have a 13 year old though but she and I are teammates as I orchestrate my exit
@@pinklillies6301 they get to a certain age where they start noticing things. And you realize you don't have to stay for them, because they too want to leave.
Stay safe and good luck!
I have talked to my son about some of my husband's behavior in the past...rarely. When it was clearly abusive, I would tell him, "he is being abusive to you. DO I do X thing to you?" My son could see the difference in the behavior. I would tell my husband not to do this thing again, but without fail eventually he would. To be clear, it is not abusive in a way that would get the courts to do anything, but calling him names like lazy while he is working on a project but his father is standing and watching.
This is advanced level!!
OH WOW!!! FINALLY I HAVE A PLAN. EXTREMELY HELPFULL 👍
If you're at your best and they are mirroring you like a thief stealing who you are, then they've got something to live up too because when you're gone there's a power vacuum they need to fill. They have to live up to your image if they are going to copy it.
About a year after leaving him, i called him on the phone. I said, "do you know why i stayed so long?" He asked why - thinking, i am sure, that i would say, "because I love you." But i did NOT. I said, "I just kept thinking it would get better " he made a weird noise and hung up. I called back and left a message saying, "NOW I am mad." Have not heard from him since. 🎉
Cool-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, (but I really miss him)
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
I was never even asked where the kids should go to school....as their mom. A former straight A, honor roll student......He just decided & decided & I wasn't given any other option. I just Pray for my kids.
Same here! I pray for my kids for the kind of father I gave them.
yes ok
In a nutshell, nothing is ever enough. When you have the lightbulb moment , and run for the hills. You eventually realize you are not alone, and reset. No need to get bitter, just maintain the higher ground if you can.
11:29 - "if you want to know truth in any situation where a narcissist is involved" - thank you for this, this is really helpful. Thank you so much for the part about the children, it gives me hope.
If you know their tactics, like gaslighting etc ,you won already half the game. Thank you for your videos!!
On certain subjects they are smart on a surface level, but they always fail at the root level. Jesus in the wilderness is an excellent story that demonstrates the differences in surface level knowledge vs. root knowledge.
#4 "Discovering Their Truth" really hits home for me regarding my sister and mom. You said that it takes time to be able to do that and since it's my family, I had that time (from childhood).
My narcissistic sister. Where do I begin? So many examples. She's absolutely hateful to me. A glaringly obvious one: she loves calling me a b-tch. She'll yell it in a growlingly angry tone. "B-TCH!!👿" Guess who's the "b-tch" in life in general? Yep. Her. She's a mean 'ol thing. She's embarrassing to be with out in public. She flips people off. She's loud, rude, and obnoxious. Confrontational. Blatantly breaks rules. I wish I was exaggerating or making it up. Unfortunately, I'm not.
I doubt I have to add this, but I'm not that way. OMG...I'd be too mortified. Plus, it'd hurt my heart to be that mean to people.
I know that any accusations she makes of me are her stating the obvious opposite.
Thank you, Danish, for revealing them as liars. For teaching us the truth. And for helping us to heal.🌹
I call truth on my own truth. Let them be them and no problem.. But o will be me... I will not take the bait anymore.. I just say my truth nicely..do not respond when the gaslight... My boundaries were completely walked over... Now.. I just don't care what they do or say.. literally leave the phone on the table while they talk and walk away and Pray for Grace... pick it up when they have finished trying to get a reaction and say, anyway love You gotta go....
Brilliant.
So true... It doesn't b so easy but it WILL B DONE
I learned that when I want something, I have to mention it, then do a 180 and say how it could never be, or how it is wrong for me to want it. Then they are more likely to give it to me. It is just like the vacation example.
Yes Sir saving yourself from any further abuse.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail . com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Knowledge is power.
Jazakallah to you danish
I've been being abused since 22 years, now I know the terms, when he's love bombing, I don't slip.when he is manipulate , I manipulate him. He future fakes , I do the same to him. If you can't leave , stay and enjoy as they are very insecure. When it comes to money, I'm dependant and I can't help it . He tells me you don't give my children proper food which I do, now I've learned to say , I give and I believe. On daily basis he says something about my cooking and after crying for 22 years I say I cook good and I believe in myself.
So keep watching 12:41 danish and chill.
I'm an expert at grey rocking. It's just natural now. I hv more energy doing this
What is it please?
@anitaholst7671 Less indepth responses to the narcissists' verbal games to get a rise out of u. Find that inner peace. Don't let ur buttons be pushed!
This is a unique narcissist post ! and indeed u have nailed al the points.. which are very crucial ..and guess what if implemented we can also live a happy life except milignant... to have a happy life with NPD or BPD.. which i adopt ..!
Want more of these please!! Needed this video!
I hold the divorce card now. He used to scream at me to just leave if I didn’t like it. Ok. I took that to an attorney and came home with ‘if you ever scream at me again this is what you will lose’ and presented him with the financial breakdown of a divorce. So he’s no longer screaming but still name calling. They just can’t stop, y’all. Even when they know they will lose everything. And that’s why you never trust them. Ever..
A divorce card is good, but we all need to be ready and able emotionally and physically to carry it out. Once “he/she” pushes back on it, testing “that new boundary”, if we’re not able to go through with the divorce we will be attacked with more vengeance.
Many of these magnet schools for narcissists are not the best schools; but are rather looking like they are the best.
Thank you Danish Bashir for your indight on how to tame toxic narcissistic behavior.
Love this! It works for me!
Yes, do-able, with discipline and support. I've done it, but not for long. I think while their behavior is less aware, yours would have a goal, trustworthy resources, as little as possible at stake, and no limerence. This would be less like manipulation and more like being the adult in the room. My concern would be to make sure I'm not using this as coping and deflecting from doing my own inner work. As I write this and think back, I believe this difficult challenge motivated me to keep finding my way forward, all at the same time. Whew!
Danish you are the best!
I hv been doing this very well on my out °EXISTING °jsr certain things n the way but im handling him... anything & all knowledge im willing to obtain...your phenomenal i listen to u jst about Everyday .. what I hv learned to do sense his mask came if is just what your talking about today...
Loved the video, this is what I needed
I can't disentangle at the moment. I have processes to go through to separate fully. I need to do all these right now.
Oh my sister had to learn this conditioning until their son grew up.
Unfortunately all of my friends and family have huge narcissistic tendencies. This is why we don’t hang out. How fun or smart is it to be with people who think it’s all about you helping them And think that is your purpose? Every time they open their mouth a lie drops out. People in my life don’t value their own words- it’s cray cray out here.
Hi sir thank you so much some i have used and hes stingy narcissist bcoz he gives little back and unfortunately im still inlove but distant in way bcoz of the abuse trying to get my kids sorted out, legally bcz we only traditionally married they cant do anything for free here on SA, some women are truly helpless..❤
That's appalling. So sorry for your situation. I wish you all the best.
@donnamason6522 thanks just living like that without many options...
Best video on this subject that I have seen ! Bless you !
Thank you for this.
Christine Albright
Thank you❤
The Hippocratic Oath, a foundational document in medical ethics, has been a cornerstone of medical professionalism for over 2,500 years. While the oath itself does not contain the exact phrase “do no harm,” it does convey a commitment to avoiding harm and promoting the well-being of ALL patients. Your signature program sounds very interesting as a medical doctor myself.
That was perfect 🎉
#5 is so important! Unfortunately I didn't realize this when the children were young, so their narc dads manipulated them both against me (9 yrs apart - 2 different narc dads )
You are talking about some ideal situations....mostly narcs are very very cunning...just leave them AsAp
Sir 1000% correct five signs Thank you so much sir you are my God father
With a covert narcissist mother and an over narcissist father, it's a wonder to me, with all I know now, that I'm still alive. My siblings are alive, to my knowledge, but they are mentally ill. I have never once shed a tear or missed them a single day since before their deaths.
Pls plz 🙏 😢 more videos in hindi.tqsm sir
When it comes to the day where i get child support from my narc exhubby, I start telling him 2,3 days before that day how smart he is, how he as a man is so important for the childrens developement, how we trust him etc.. And then he not only gives me more money than he should by law, he also goes with us for dinner or we go for shopping.
If you admire them, they can give you a lot.
(By the way, he is jobless since years, never helped me with anything, and lived a doublelife while we were married)..
🤣🤣🤣It worked for me. He thought he was playing me, but he got played. It was so much fun.🤣🤣🤣
Danish, I'm out of it, but i get too angry for wasting my last 10 years and for not taking this decision sooner.. how do u i overcome this ...
Self-blame is normal, it's the ghost of that narc still haunting our minds, 'Well why didn't you just leave? Why did it take you that long?' I get this too, and I hate it but what would I do differently? Always assume the worst of people? Be suspicious of their every action? assume everything they say is a lie? never consider their feelings or ever help them out? Being deceived in a relationship means you valued relationship over self-interest. So you didn't waste those years; they molded your empathy, with your ultimate awakening being the firing of that clay---only done when you were ready. It's yours to keep now for the rest of your life: stronger, steadfast and wise.
I think the best thing to do is to tell yourself that you were fighting a monster that was at level 100 and you had to gather your strength to be able to start fighting. It was hard, because they constantly take your energy and you have to go to the next level again. They leave you in a state of confusion, and an empathetic person always hopes that conflicts will be resolved and that someone will change. Have compassion and love for yourself. I have read comments from people who have been with narcissists for 60 years or their whole life. Now you are free and can rest and enjoy life 😊
Struggling with this myself. I just kept telling myself I had no idea what it was that I was dealing with and that I was learning what they were and how to deal with it. This can take decades for some poor souls so that we got out after only 10 years is very good.
Be the friend to yourself you never had. Literally speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend who was in your position. Guaranteed you will be far less hard on yourself. We need to learn how to be normal and stop demanding a fully trained psychiatrists understanding of one of the most nefarious minds that we were confronted with. A psychiatrist with 40 years experience to boot. We never stood a chance. Be kind to yourself
@bleelee4566 That's true too, I've used this 'method' of being own friend. I think it helps especially people who have always had a hard time taking care of themselves, because they've always taken care of others more. Such people are also easy targets for narcissists or generally used
@Sound-Eat❤❤❤er
OMGosh.
I could write TWO books on just the LAST Narc I was with!!!
It was MORE of a SHOCK to find out WHO He REALLY Was - because we were (what I thought) BEST Friends (clearly NOT really) for 11-years, before we crossed the line!!!!
Also i have never seen one of them to change ,only get worse with age.Do not agree wit no 1,the more you answer them the more they pester you day after day,Completely blocking them out works after a while.
Dear daanish plz advise narcistis abuse vitamin d3
I have tried this before.
I myself have a limit, i cannot be authentic person living with NPD.
My patience and hope now are gone.
Time to leave.
I never tried the others, not sure if I could have... But i tried the child thing but he still fought me for ages in family court (and lost, because I was child focused, so now he's trying to punish me in divorce court)
Always make them believe that you are out of the door with one foot..
That’s manipulation. Not playing by proper conduct rules.
My bro has been complaining about his side. It was a pulled muscle. I said , oh its nothing serious. He said if I broke my arm it would be nothing serious.
Danish - do you give private online therapy sessions?
Let them chase u right up to the time u catch them.
This practice is way too confusing for my brain😟
I'd rather not even attempt to try playing this game
True Danish
Ha ha ha if you know the rules from the game, they let you in peace because you’re not fun anymore, on the moment I get the silent treatment, last time that was more than a year and of a half. I am curious how long it will be this time, maybe a longer because I confronted him with his lies. He’s picking up the pieces and recovering from his loss 😊😊😊😊
It’s too exhausting and you’ll stop being genuine because your now wearing a mask
Yep - I'm stuck at a job working for a Covert Narc with Malignant Overlap, until the beginning of the year, when hiring will begin again. Need tools to deal with this Cluster B Monster until I can escape this Gulag I'm currently working in - he, and this environment, is misogynist AF too.
Sounds like its time for a new work environment.
THEY LOVE YOU MORE WHEN YOU RUN OUT THE DOOR!
trusting this over the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki? no wonder the same cycles keep happening
YES!!!!
nobody talks about the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, but it’ll flip how you see everything
If they notice thatyou start to look bad or get fat,,usually because of the abuse,,so what? You know how big the world is,,and lets say that you are REALLY aging, so what? Can YOU accept and LOVE yourself? Isnt it your inevitabiw right? Your journey no matter what
I have learned to play with their game very lately, but I didn’t
Mine Narcissist is shameless and selfish.He doesn’t care what others think about him and how children suffer.
All three of his characters are contact less with him coz they have recognized his character towards them.
Ye video Hindi me bnado please
☘️
Dont you think that you may educate people to become generally manipulative or even narcissistic ? I get why you do this, But I fear you educate people to become themselves narcissistic ...
It is manipulation. That's anathema to we who want so much to be real - to have truly close and equal and trusting relationship with them. His suggestions are for survival when you cannot leave or will not leave for the time being. Raising children, wanting to be part of grandchildrens lives, etc.
For your sanity AND empowerment his suggestions will keep you whole, self-respecting, and hopeful.
Yes, it is simply for survival until you can leave if that is what you decide to do.
GOD Bless you.
All our toilets connects to the ocean.. the fish and shrimps and lobsters eat our toilet. And we eat the fish that's covered in our toilet😂😂😂😂..planet earth is literally a septic tank😂😂😂😂
☕️👂
My narc got very upset bc she thought I was specifically making fun of her breathing. No, I was mocking her controlling ways. I laughed at her for hyperventilating because she couldn't get her tv remote to work. I told her how pathetic that was, and that she is so pathetic that she called the cable company to come fix the cable. She spent hours on the phone whining. When I decided I would help it took me 5 minutes. I'm to the point I get joy from humiliating the narcs I am unfortunately stuck with at this point in my life.
stuck on repeat? ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki actually changes the game
not saying this is bad, but ebook Magnetic Aura makes it look basic
you’re missing out if you ain’t read the ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki, it breaks it all down
why stick to surface-level stuff when the ebook Magnetic Aura hits you with the real truth
this is cool and all, but ebook Magnetic Aura by Takeshi Mizuki shows the whole picture