Amen. I went through this realization in 2020-2021. It's not an attack on who I am or my character when someone brings up how I've hurt or harmed them. Or where I can improve and be better.
We are all in someone's journal, a part of someone's therapy session, ect that is just a part of life. No matter how much harm reduction we do. I don't always think there is something to unpack in that. If/when someone brings it to your attention really sit with the hurt that you caused them and apologize and move on.
I agree, and also discern whether someone is telling you you hurt them as a manipulation/control tactic. You can determine this by interrogating your actions, but also discern if the person has the boundary "You can never say anything I don't like."
Used to be harm was hitting someone now if I don't call you by a pronoun,your acting as if I beat you to an inch of your life. Changed word definitions.
@@xLeo-ee4gc It may help to understand why people that use pronouns respond that way if you listen to their experiences and what's happening for them internally when people don't use the correct pronoun. Reading up on gender theory also helped me a lot in furthering my understanding. I'm not saying the reactions are always justified, just that it will be easier for you to empathize with their experience if you actually understand it rather than judging it from the outside without any context.
Guante & Big Cats ft. Tony the Scribe | Fortunate Sun | " Listen - I’m not a good person cause I’ve never caused a hurt And I’ve never had to force myself to change I’m a good person cause I work and I work and I work and I work To find a better way So I will die trying to make this dark world a little brighter I will build, I will fight, I will pray I will walk, I will knock, I will write, I will love, I will hate, I will hope If that’s what it’s gon' take" Just some lyrics that popped into my head while watching this. Much love 💜
Man so many of our women need to her this. Men too. I’m not trying to start an argument but this happens so much in the black community. You can’t tell the women in our community anything about themselves constructive a lot of the times, they don’t like it and sometimes start to turn on you just for pointing something out. But best believe these same women have no problem telling men what they are not good at or where they’re inadequate, with no constructive part. It’s like a field day for them to make men feel bad, some champion it. This goes for a lot of men too! It needs to stop!
😂😂 You ain’t lying will destroy a man who would give the world to them with every lie the lip can utter but will go to the opposite race and how go to another black woman of the same mind as them and fall in love 😂😂😂I’m starting to think Black Women of 2023 just lesbians 😂😂😂it’s okay I support 2 black women together 2 less problems for me
@@GODREEK215 now, the main comment was constructive and correct regarding both men and women but here the goofy dudes come to justify their preferences with the degradation of their own women to ruin the vibe. Men also destroy their women just like you’re doing now. Way to prove their point. Bud the majority of black women stay within their own race of men. Can’t say the same for black men in the USA. You can like other races without having to dogpile on yours. You just end up looking goofy.
I agree with this as a black woman I am sensitive to how I am spoken too. Even if someone is right I find it very hard to listen when it’s said in a degrading way or I’m being yelled at. My dad never yelled at me my brother never yelled at me. So in my experience the only time I refused to listen to a man is when I was berated. I lose respect for any man that disrespects me.
If it is misogynistic or anti-black or both which it is often is if its coming from black men it deserves to be ignored. Bad faith criticism is just that, black women are receptive to constructive criticism that isn't undermining humanity or misogynistic filled nonsense. Very few BM know who to offer criticism this way which is why they receive backlash.
I remember being like 24 and one day realizing- (I mean truly realizing) that I have in fact hurt people that were close to me in ways I hadn’t even realized as a teenager. I say this as far as skipping school, etc. I know it was hard on my family :/
This massage goes both ways! There are toxic people everywhere you should vet every one you want in your life and vet the ones that want to be in your life.
Sometimes you are wrong for harming people. You may think you're not a bad person for harming but you are at times because at times it's intentional. So you should take accountability for the wrongs you've done and work on improving.
Sometimes processing isn't going to lead you anywhere if you aren't honest with yourself and ready for accountability. Especially if you surround yourself with yes-people.
You do have the process and ways to remedy it. It’s the same processes and ways you demand the other person use. Lol duh superiority complex at its finest but it’s so hard to do what you want them to do for yourself. It’s just taking the easy way out of personal accountability and empathy for others
Have a new video coming called, Black Women: Call the Police. There aren’t qualified individuals in the community and as Malcom X has said the black women is the most disrespected woman.
You can’t hurt people or someone who truly don’t and never did give a f*** . You can’t hurt people with no feelings and emotions . You can’t hurt narcissists and psychopaths . With that being said I ain’t hurt nobody but I’ve sure been hurt .
Lol no. Most people are aware of when they’ve hurt someone. We’re literally wired to to know this because we’re social creatures and it was evolutionarily advantageous since we lived in groups. The problem is that people can also tell when others are bullshitting about being hurt. And some people also don’t care if they hurt others. And in today’s world, a lot of people bullsht about someone hurting them, and in a lot of those cases good people don’t know how to respond.
This whole "Harm vs Abuse" Theory honestly just sounds like just another way to give women an excuse to avoid accountability...... When a MAN behaves badly? Abuse. When a WOMAN behaves badly? It's HARM, NOT ABUSE, and she doesn't realize she's doing wrong....she's acting this way because she has NO OTHER OUTLET to express herself....... Accountability is like Kryptonite for Women.
We simply live in a weak society in which even just telling the truth nowadays seems to cause most people trauma we have a lot of grown-ass children who need to grow up and stop playing games 😎
Really . !!! Who is committing violence unaliving men daily And women every 5 1/2 hours and unaliving their own children in blk communities it's you emotional dusty Bandits. Ain't that the truth.
Can someone point me in the right direction? Where am I suppose to be looking for the wifey/mother material type black women at? Been off social media for at least 4 years now & never was a dating app type of guy so it’s real hard for me finding good quality women with the same vision. I’m only 25 but real old school about how I carry myself & the morals/ethics I stand on, so I’m looking for a female that carry’s herself a certain type of way. Any suggestions would be appreciated
I wish I could help. I'm struggling to find a good man who is husband material, but they're never where I go. What are your interests? Find a place with similar minds maybe. I wish you luck!
Unbiased USA Liverpool Supporter start by working on your spirit man bc we are a spirit, that has soul that lives in a body. For more spiritual growth & relationship wisdom check out RC Blakes Jr videos and Tony Gaskins videos as well. They both educate both men & women but with Godly principles. God bless & best wishes 🙏 Stephen Speaks is another btw.
Amen. I went through this realization in 2020-2021.
It's not an attack on who I am or my character when someone brings up how I've hurt or harmed them. Or where I can improve and be better.
We are all in someone's journal, a part of someone's therapy session, ect that is just a part of life. No matter how much harm reduction we do. I don't always think there is something to unpack in that. If/when someone brings it to your attention really sit with the hurt that you caused them and apologize and move on.
I know SOOOO many people that need to hear AND see this!
This is so true! Most of us have not learned how to deal with emotions and it not only harms us, it harms almost everyone we come in contact with.
Sometimes the truth hurts! There’s a difference between truth and disrespect. Two 😢tears in a bucket 🪣
I agree, and also discern whether someone is telling you you hurt them as a manipulation/control tactic. You can determine this by interrogating your actions, but also discern if the person has the boundary "You can never say anything I don't like."
Used to be harm was hitting someone now if I don't call you by a pronoun,your acting as if I beat you to an inch of your life. Changed word definitions.
@@xLeo-ee4gc It may help to understand why people that use pronouns respond that way if you listen to their experiences and what's happening for them internally when people don't use the correct pronoun. Reading up on gender theory also helped me a lot in furthering my understanding. I'm not saying the reactions are always justified, just that it will be easier for you to empathize with their experience if you actually understand it rather than judging it from the outside without any context.
Guante & Big Cats ft. Tony the Scribe | Fortunate Sun |
" Listen - I’m not a good person cause I’ve never caused a hurt
And I’ve never had to force myself to change
I’m a good person cause I work and I work and I work and I work
To find a better way
So I will die trying to make this dark world a little brighter
I will build, I will fight, I will pray
I will walk, I will knock, I will write, I will love, I will hate, I will hope
If that’s what it’s gon' take"
Just some lyrics that popped into my head while watching this. Much love 💜
YOU SAID IT!!! They don't interigate anything!!! They just automatically take their feelings as fact. It needs to stop
Man so many of our women need to her this. Men too. I’m not trying to start an argument but this happens so much in the black community. You can’t tell the women in our community anything about themselves constructive a lot of the times, they don’t like it and sometimes start to turn on you just for pointing something out. But best believe these same women have no problem telling men what they are not good at or where they’re inadequate, with no constructive part. It’s like a field day for them to make men feel bad, some champion it. This goes for a lot of men too! It needs to stop!
😂😂 You ain’t lying will destroy a man who would give the world to them with every lie the lip can utter but will go to the opposite race and how go to another black woman of the same mind as them and fall in love 😂😂😂I’m starting to think Black Women of 2023 just lesbians 😂😂😂it’s okay I support 2 black women together 2 less problems for me
@@GODREEK215 now, the main comment was constructive and correct regarding both men and women but here the goofy dudes come to justify their preferences with the degradation of their own women to ruin the vibe. Men also destroy their women just like you’re doing now. Way to prove their point. Bud the majority of black women stay within their own race of men. Can’t say the same for black men in the USA. You can like other races without having to dogpile on yours. You just end up looking goofy.
I agree with this as a black woman I am sensitive to how I am spoken too. Even if someone is right I find it very hard to listen when it’s said in a degrading way or I’m being yelled at. My dad never yelled at me my brother never yelled at me. So in my experience the only time I refused to listen to a man is when I was berated. I lose respect for any man that disrespects me.
We are dealing with lots of judgment and self worth issues
If it is misogynistic or anti-black or both which it is often is if its coming from black men it deserves to be ignored. Bad faith criticism is just that, black women are receptive to constructive criticism that isn't undermining humanity or misogynistic filled nonsense. Very few BM know who to offer criticism this way which is why they receive backlash.
I remember being like 24 and one day realizing- (I mean truly realizing) that I have in fact hurt people that were close to me in ways I hadn’t even realized as a teenager. I say this as far as skipping school, etc. I know it was hard on my family :/
Loop this for a good 2 minutes it’s a bop!
This massage goes both ways! There are toxic people everywhere you should vet every one you want in your life and vet the ones that want to be in your life.
THANK YOU JOULEZY!!!
Here we see yet another abdication of responsibility, for thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
I needed to hear this. I need more on this topic.
This one of my favorite videos from you
I love how you shake the tables when many other creators refuse to call us IN!
What an awesome summation!!
Excellent!!! Remarks!!!!
This is so good. It's kind of like when we say things like,"blm," or "no good cops," or even "all whites have racist ideologies or tendencies."
WHO. UNLOCKS THE WORST IN YOU?
MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY DO YOU STAY AROUND THEM?
I agree with her completely
Sometimes you are wrong for harming people. You may think you're not a bad person for harming but you are at times because at times it's intentional. So you should take accountability for the wrongs you've done and work on improving.
Wow. Didn't know I needed this. Babbyyy not you taking us to therapy again 🫣🫣
aside from the prolificness, youre gorgeous
Sometimes processing isn't going to lead you anywhere if you aren't honest with yourself and ready for accountability. Especially if you surround yourself with yes-people.
A word. A timely word at that! 🙌🏾🤌🏾
All of that comes about by learning accountability which most women don't have.
You do have the process and ways to remedy it. It’s the same processes and ways you demand the other person use. Lol duh superiority complex at its finest but it’s so hard to do what you want them to do for yourself. It’s just taking the easy way out of personal accountability and empathy for others
Well said Goddess
Joulezy you are top tier beauty goals 🔥
Good point
If you step on another’s toes you are a bad person
Then you're a bad person too
Well said,Queen! Well said!
💯💯
I harm ppl who harm me and mine.
Have a new video coming called, Black Women: Call the Police. There aren’t qualified individuals in the community and as Malcom X has said the black women is the most disrespected woman.
If it walk like a duck, look like a duck, act like a duck, then what the fu#$ck is it? Plain and simple. Or, it's a hyena.
You can’t hurt people or someone who truly don’t and never did give a f*** . You can’t hurt people with no feelings and emotions . You can’t hurt narcissists and psychopaths . With that being said I ain’t hurt nobody but I’ve sure been hurt .
Lol no. Most people are aware of when they’ve hurt someone. We’re literally wired to to know this because we’re social creatures and it was evolutionarily advantageous since we lived in groups. The problem is that people can also tell when others are bullshitting about being hurt. And some people also don’t care if they hurt others. And in today’s world, a lot of people bullsht about someone hurting them, and in a lot of those cases good people don’t know how to respond.
i want to repost this on my Instagram. but im terrible at technology.
Yes!
This!
Is that a Tony Toni Tone t-shirt?
Blk women full of word salas bs
criticism is a form of correction that is now consider hurtful or mean by people who are immature and emotionally weak.
it's called therapy but people that listened to Kevin Samuels it would be evident
This whole "Harm vs Abuse" Theory honestly just sounds like just another way to give women an excuse to avoid accountability......
When a MAN behaves badly? Abuse.
When a WOMAN behaves badly? It's HARM, NOT ABUSE, and she doesn't realize she's doing wrong....she's acting this way because she has NO OTHER OUTLET to express herself.......
Accountability is like Kryptonite for Women.
You.................................................................................................................................................................................................................the point.
This isn't just a black or woman thing
What are you talking about Y’all screwed up and don’t want to admit it! The first step is admitting it!
We simply live in a weak society in which even just telling the truth nowadays seems to cause most people trauma we have a lot of grown-ass children who need to grow up and stop playing games 😎
The female ego is the most fragile thing on earth
Ain't that the truth
Really . !!! Who is committing violence unaliving men daily
And women every 5 1/2 hours and unaliving their own children in blk communities it's you emotional dusty Bandits. Ain't that the truth.
❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗
This is all gibberish only bw would no I’m not an abuser what I did was harm someone lol like it’s lighter smmfh frfr
Can someone point me in the right direction? Where am I suppose to be looking for the wifey/mother material type black women at? Been off social media for at least 4 years now & never was a dating app type of guy so it’s real hard for me finding good quality women with the same vision. I’m only 25 but real old school about how I carry myself & the morals/ethics I stand on, so I’m looking for a female that carry’s herself a certain type of way. Any suggestions would be appreciated
I wish I could help. I'm struggling to find a good man who is husband material, but they're never where I go.
What are your interests? Find a place with similar minds maybe. I wish you luck!
Unbiased USA Liverpool Supporter start by working on your spirit man bc we are a spirit, that has soul that lives in a body. For more spiritual growth & relationship wisdom check out RC Blakes Jr videos and Tony Gaskins videos as well. They both educate both men & women but with Godly principles. God bless & best wishes 🙏 Stephen Speaks is another btw.
👏🏿
this makes no sense
Yeah cuz you’re slow lol
I really wish there was no internet so women can get together in a Cafe and share this nonsense with each other 🤦🏾♂️
Wtf ?