things that churches do that are driving people away

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  • Опубліковано 24 сер 2024
  • things that churches do that are driving people away. #church #churchattendance #churchdecline #manipulation #tithe #lgbtq #lgbtqchristians #religioustrauma #religioustraumasyndrome #religioustraumahealing #rapture #purityculture #puritycultureistoxic

КОМЕНТАРІ • 75

  • @CMA418
    @CMA418 Місяць тому +8

    I saw a comment recently, “I stopped going to church because of the people who stayed.”

  • @_S0me__0ne
    @_S0me__0ne Місяць тому +10

    Those things disgusted me, but that's not why i stopped attending church. I stopped because i stopped believing Christianity was true - nor any religion.

    • @brendanmassie9586
      @brendanmassie9586 Місяць тому

      Sounds like an emotional decision rather than a rational one. What’s your justification for morality now that you’re atheist

  • @TheAnnyParker
    @TheAnnyParker Місяць тому +8

    All of these, and more are why I left the church. I still have faith, but having a group of people spouting hateful rhetoric every week, while claiming love was hard to deal with. And dont even get me started on politics in the church. The United States was founded with religious freedom in mind, but so many churches and Christian groups want to introduce a theocratic autocracy. Laws and regulations shouldn't be based on religious text, but rather on agreed upon standards and values, like a civilized society

    • @sharontabor7718
      @sharontabor7718 Місяць тому +1

      If you think every church is the same, spewing hateful rhetoric, then you have a narrow focus on Church. I attend church, and that is not what we do. We are inclusive and practice care, concern, and compassion.

    • @TheAnnyParker
      @TheAnnyParker Місяць тому +2

      @@sharontabor7718 I didn't mean every church, but one experience can ruin others. I know there's churches that are more progressive and kind, but my previous experience has spoiled whatever enjoyment I may be able to get. Trauma is trauma afterall

  • @thelakeman5207
    @thelakeman5207 Місяць тому +25

    Also, stop believing that your politician is the God you pray to in church.

  • @tracyzimmerman7912
    @tracyzimmerman7912 Місяць тому +7

    You forgot politics in church

  • @fairywingsonroses
    @fairywingsonroses Місяць тому +3

    Also, stop telling people how to live their lives. I can't tell you the number of times I was told to just get married, have kids, don't get an education, etc. All of that is terrible advice because those things aren't for everyone, and it does real damage to families when people jump straight into marriage, children, etc. without really taking the time to consider if they are ready, if other options would be better, etc.

  • @g.b.1532
    @g.b.1532 Місяць тому +4

    Atheist here. Left church for a lot of these reasons many years ago. Not that its that much better. Being an atheist makes it feel like there is no longer a magical safety net to existence. To be honest, I wonder if I would've be happier if I never left the lie of God. Had the church not done stuff like this I might have remained Christian. Also believe in whatever you want I'm not here to change your mind.

  • @basilspaghetti
    @basilspaghetti Місяць тому +3

    Thank you for this video. I was raised in a deeply Christian area and Christian family but when I first became atheist I was also very against Christianity and thought that people deconverting would make the world a better place. I definitely had, if not religious trauma, at least religious resentment about how hypocritical, mean, and bigoted the Christians I grew up around were. But then as an adult, I've actually made a bunch of Christian friends who will gladly share their beliefs without yelling or mocking, and who interpret the tenets of their faith that they should help others, show kindness, and be a beacon of light in the world. They're great people, and the world needs more people like them and like you!

  • @TheFoxchild
    @TheFoxchild Місяць тому +3

    Maybe fewer people are going to church because "narrow is the way and there are few who find it."
    Jesus said He did not come into the world to condemn it (because it is condemned already). Christians don't need to condemn sin either. But they also aren't here to tolerate it or make people comfortable with it -the World is plenty good at that already. They are here to show people how to be forgiven and be set free from it.

    • @sundayoliver3147
      @sundayoliver3147 5 днів тому

      Saying we're all condemned, and threatening people with the eternal torment of hell if they don't comply with your values strikes me as not very attractive.

    • @TheFoxchild
      @TheFoxchild 3 дні тому

      @@sundayoliver3147 Well, one's values don't determine your eternal destination as much as what you believe about Jesus, but, yeah, Christianity isn't meant to be attractive. Like Paul said, "If there is no resurrection of the dead, we are, of all men, most miserable." If you're doing it right, you're basically sacrificing this life to have a better afterlife, so, understandable if it doesn't have high appeal for most - that's why they say it requires faith.

  • @willardjr6257
    @willardjr6257 Місяць тому +1

    If you do not love Christ's bride, you don't love christ.

  • @jamesyoung1022
    @jamesyoung1022 Місяць тому

    Religion's most dangerous idea: "There is no such thing as an unknowable truth. Anyone can possess knowledge of truths that appear impossible to possess by simply imagining a narrative and pretending it is true."
    What imagined narrative should I pretend to know is reality?
    1. Should I pretend to know that an undetectable supernatural realm exists, inhabited by undetectable, all-powerful, immortal, thinking agents, monitoring every human thought and act, justly entitled to micromanage every aspect of human existence?
    2. Should I pretend to know that I have a special intimate personal relationship with the supernatural realm that telepathically endows me with knowledge of unknowable truths, to tap into the mind of God, to know what it thinks and wants?
    3. Should I pretend to know that when our ancient ancestors created their religions and wrote their holy books, they did not include in them any imaginary narratives, things that they were pretending to know but in reality, they could not possibly know?
    4. Should I pretend to know that abandoning reason and my freedom of conscience to pursue a life of intellectual servitude to religious dogma is the epitome, essence, and manifestation of divine wisdom?
    And when questioned about my alleged divine knowledge, should I offer a plethora of fallacious apologetic rationalizations, all designed to obscure and deny the fact that I am intellectually enslaved, pretending to know an alternative reality that no one can possibly know?

  • @chrisoneill3999
    @chrisoneill3999 Місяць тому +4

    What is the point of belonging to a church if you think for yourself?

  • @timwall6187
    @timwall6187 Місяць тому +2

    Well said!

  • @johnmarquardt1991
    @johnmarquardt1991 Місяць тому +2

    The rapture that American evangelicals talk about is non-Biblical. He didn't even mention Jesus.

  • @Stevo_Drums
    @Stevo_Drums Місяць тому

    The spreading of unsubstantiated woo was my exit sign.

  • @daveh893
    @daveh893 Місяць тому +2

    Thanks, pastor. That was a good talk and I'm sure many of the reasons you state are also part of why people stop going to church. I don't attend church as I am a Christian moderate and it seems my only choices are liberal churches or conservative churches. That is my reason.

    • @inseptus712
      @inseptus712 Місяць тому +1

      That is a very interesting observation. I'm curious about what specific beliefs you have that are distinctly moderate.

    • @daveh893
      @daveh893 Місяць тому +2

      @@inseptus712 Maybe moderate is not the best word to use. More like some conservative and some liberal beliefs. I'm conservative in that I believe in New Testament miracles and use he/him to refer to God. Liberal, I am open to gay and lesbians in the church and believe that the church should serve the poor better.

  • @critzeport
    @critzeport Місяць тому +1

    I'd like to recommend the Episcopal Church...we already don't do those things. We haven't for a long time.
    I'd like to also acknowledge that not every Episcopal Church is following the direction of the Bishops...what are ya gonna do? But if you WANT to go to church and you feel like you can't because of the vibe, check us out. You may find that home you've been looking for.

  • @tabor503
    @tabor503 Місяць тому +4

    music so loud that it damages my ears...

    • @sharontabor7718
      @sharontabor7718 Місяць тому +1

      Not every church does that. My church had traditional music, with meditative pauses. And we are Baptist.

  • @GregariousAntithesis
    @GregariousAntithesis Місяць тому

    Very few act like jesus

  • @PShawtx
    @PShawtx Місяць тому +1

    Only some christian churches are doing those things. Most are not. Stop lumping all Christians together.

  • @robinkaskey3251
    @robinkaskey3251 Місяць тому +6

    Also, stop with political all together; like abortion

    • @WWZenaDo
      @WWZenaDo Місяць тому +1

      ​@scotttillman01 Agreed. When one is aware of the Roman culture that Christianity arose within, Paul's political maneuvering is rather easy to see.

    • @sundayoliver3147
      @sundayoliver3147 5 днів тому

      There is actually abortion in the Bible, approved by the elders! If the woman had been unfaithful to her husband (or raped), the child would be aborted by the potion the elder gave her. If she hadn't been unfaithful, the child would stay in the womb to term. Numbers 5:21

  • @imafriend1336
    @imafriend1336 Місяць тому

    Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost…..
    ,,,, do this and everything else falls in place…. But ya gotta repent

  • @4xdblack
    @4xdblack Місяць тому +6

    You seriously need Jesus my friend.

    • @grantschade2072
      @grantschade2072 Місяць тому

      you seriously need to reevaluate your life choices.

    • @4xdblack
      @4xdblack Місяць тому

      @@grantschade2072 I did and you won't like my conclusion.

  • @jeil5676
    @jeil5676 Місяць тому +7

    This is wise but maybe we should really just not be going to church.

    • @tabor503
      @tabor503 Місяць тому +1

      why? I'm open to hearing you out.

    • @jeil5676
      @jeil5676 Місяць тому +1

      @@tabor503 For the reasons given in the video, for starters.

    • @tabor503
      @tabor503 Місяць тому

      @@jeil5676 delete your comments. Thanks :)

    • @WWZenaDo
      @WWZenaDo Місяць тому +1

      ​@@tabor503 You're not open to hearing anything.

  • @andrewbattles2483
    @andrewbattles2483 Місяць тому +4

    Repent pastor

    • @SlimThrull
      @SlimThrull Місяць тому +1

      Repent? For what? Being truthful? Or just disagreeing with you?

    • @andrewbattles2483
      @andrewbattles2483 Місяць тому +1

      Many talking points you stated are not true
      The rapture is in scripture
      The sexual depravity or sin from 2000 years ago still apply today
      For starters

    • @Stevo_Drums
      @Stevo_Drums Місяць тому

      @@andrewbattles2483
      Mind your own business.

  • @dizzyrocket8
    @dizzyrocket8 Місяць тому +3

    Not once did you align what you’re saying with the word. That’s Pastoring 101, if you led his children the same way you are trying to correct the church, I can see why you are an ex Pastor.

    • @brendanmassie9586
      @brendanmassie9586 Місяць тому

      As Christian’s we also don’t sacrifice the gospel to fill the church. We preach the gospel as truth and it’s up to the individual to accept it or not. This man picks and chooses what he personally likes and doesn’t like about Christianity, essentially making himself god with the authority to tell actual believers that they are wrong.

  • @CharlesHess
    @CharlesHess Місяць тому

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Like that’s going to happen anytime soon.

  • @sharontabor7718
    @sharontabor7718 Місяць тому

    The church I attend is inclusive, caring, and compassionate. We do not demand 10% of anyone - but it is in the Old Testament - Leviticus 27:30. You are a pastor and don't know that? This is a narrow-minded one-recipe approach to church. Many churches do not practice what you are preaching in this video.

    • @jrstf
      @jrstf Місяць тому

      Apparently this man has not read Mark 12:41, the widow's offering. He is correct that giving 10% is not biblical, but giving more is.

  • @WG55
    @WG55 Місяць тому

    "Stop with the purity culture!" Christianity has distinguished between the Spirit and the Flesh from the very beginning (Rom. 8:13). You seem to be saying that we can have them both at the same time.

    • @fairywingsonroses
      @fairywingsonroses Місяць тому +2

      The issue with purity culture is that it creates a lot more problems than it solves. It puts the onus for obedience to chastity on women and blames them when men act out. It also leaves people unprepared, resulting in STI's, unplanned pregnancies, and more. It forces people into rushed marriages that may not be healthy or safe in addition for just making people feel guilty when they mess up. I really don't think it is possible to have both.

    • @WG55
      @WG55 Місяць тому

      @fairywingsonroses You believe that encouraging teens to have _more_ sex, not less, will fix those problems?

    • @fairywingsonroses
      @fairywingsonroses Місяць тому +2

      @@WG55 I think that being HONEST with teens about sex will fix many of those problems. I personally learned about Planned Parenthood and birth control from my younger sister, who was 14 at the time, something that should NOT happen. Kids should not be educating kids about this stuff, and it's sad when kids do a better job at it than adults do. We are doing our children a HUGE disservice by holding them to the law of chastity without giving them any other information about sex or what their options are for having safe, healthy sex. There is also a big correlation between sexual abuse and lack of knowledge about sex. The less kids know, the more vulnerable they are to abuse, and the higher the probability that they will not know how to recognize/report it.

    • @sundayoliver3147
      @sundayoliver3147 5 днів тому

      We can. The distinction is man-made. Our natural state is that we are both spirit AND flesh. Backed up by science: since the amount of matter in atoms is so tiny, atoms are mostly made of space. And since we're made of atoms, so are we.

    • @sundayoliver3147
      @sundayoliver3147 5 днів тому +1

      @@fairywingsonroses I found myself grossed out by the idea that the girl is "married" to the father until she'd passed on to the appropriate bridegroom. Especially considering the amount of incest and child molestation that seems to go on in some denominations-- usually the ones with these practices.

  • @moroteseoinage
    @moroteseoinage Місяць тому +2

    You are wrong. Our country needs compulsory Christianity. A ethno-theocracy is the solution.

    • @Dloin
      @Dloin Місяць тому +7

      To do what? To turn it back into a Victorian colony? 😂

    • @moroteseoinage
      @moroteseoinage Місяць тому

      @@Dloin what you describe would be a good first step. I’m glad you agree with me

    • @joanabug4479
      @joanabug4479 Місяць тому +4

      @@moroteseoinage I thought a good first step would be knowing the language you're speaking/typing in. How does it not bother your brain when you write "A ethno-(...)" ?!

    • @WG55
      @WG55 Місяць тому +4

      You are kidding, right? Trawling for idiots?

    • @moroteseoinage
      @moroteseoinage Місяць тому

      @@joanabug4479 forgive me for missing a letter. I appreciate your attempt at a red herring to detract from my initial comment.