How to Stop Bullying at Work: Signs of Sneaky Bullying
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- Опубліковано 22 чер 2013
- Dr. Ben Leichtling discusses the behaviors common to workplace bullies and distinguishes between overt and covert bullies. Overt bullies are easy to spot with their aggressive, in-your-face behavior, but covert bullies are more subtle. They use sneaky, manipulative, backstabbing tactics to gain advantage over their fellow workers, to take advantage of those weaker than themselves, and to form cliques that work to give the bullies power that they do not deserve.
Workplace bullies are a drain on company productivity and a drag on the bottom line. Employee turnover and sick leave are often much higher than normal in departments where covert bullies have their way. It is important to learn to recognize signs of sneaky, covert bullying and to take action quickly to stop it before it causes irreparable harm to the organization.
Whether you are a supervisor dealing with bullying among your workers or a worker trying to keep yourself sane and productive in the face of bullying on your job site, call Dr. Leichtling for personal coaching. He will help you identify bullying behavior in the workplace and help you formulate a plan for dealing with it quickly and effectively.
Here is a blog post with more information about dealing with bullies at work:
www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2013...
Another blog post about dealing with relentless boundary pushers:
bulliesbegone.com/blog/2014/3/...
• How to Stop Bullying a...
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Workplace bullying is a big problem. Notice how over 90,000 people viewed this video? That means they had a reason to.
I was mob bullied, covert, backstabbing, slander, I was held to higher standards, my work was not acknowledged, others took credit for my work, I was undermined, one pretended that I was being mean to her. They turned my friends against me. I did resist but there were too many. 11 months later I am still traumatized. I've never worked with so many demons.
LightOwl almost the same thing happened with me. Many against just one of me and all for the lies being spread and stamped as 'truths' by two Mastermind bullies. Pretending that I was harassing them and playing the victim. It was painful as how do I prove my innocence when my bullies claim and spread stories about me bullying them. Harrowing
@@lemonspring6425 Record them!
This is how workplace shootings happen
Same!exactly what lemon spring said. When I demanded that hr and management listen to me so that I could focus on my job, I got fired!!!
Get out of there,your better than that what scum bags,I have bullying in my work as well it destroys your self esteem 💖
Being an introvert makes us a perfect target. The bully (usually confident, arrogant or extroverted) knows he will have a field day turning everyone against you, further alienating you from the rest.
for me its the opposite, its the covert introvert sneaky coworker. constantly making subtle negative remarks.so sutle to the point it makes you feel ad about yourself. a complete loser without self esteem putting down others to feel superior in his own neurotic head.
Ive been bullied at work and its really horrible. I dont know why bullies target me, probably because im introverted. It totally sucks all your energy out and you become less productive and make more mistakes. Over the years ive learned through intuition which people might be a bully or not. Whenever someone tests me I make it immediately clear he or she crossed a line. You must be quick, the longer you take to respond, the less theyll take you serious. Also, ive been doing martial arts for a while now. I know I can defend myself if things get nasty, because some grown people still act like high school kids.
Jan Jacobszoon Haha well said.
I'm also an introvert, and completely relate to your comment. This is happening to me now. I've been at a new job for less than a year, and it hasn't improved. I'm so tired of it. I'm here because I'm trying to figure out how to manage this and keep my job. It's a shitty spot to be in. I hope you're doing better (3 years later) . Solidarity.
You have nailed it. The word is IMMEDIATELY. Let them get away with it once and you are cooked. It will never ever get better no matter how much you kid yourself. Leave. That is the only solution. But in the future....look strong and confident even if you dont feel it. Fake it. Because bullies are everywhere.
Some great advice here, I'm a recent recruit for a private organisation, 17 years previously in the public health sector, for the first time I have come up against 3 bullies, you are right, instant call out bad behaviour, however this has escalated and I just found out that my current team leader was transferred from a previous branch for assaulting a client - it should have been an instant dismissal, obviously higher management are enabling and are equally liable not following organisational policy. I confided in a colleague who went through the same thing, collected evidence and instead of getting rid of the guilty party they moved my colleague to another branch. Atm they're covert and publicly trying to make me look like the problem now that I have called one of them out. They have mentioned how they had used physical restraints recently - which is now banned - but they miss using it on clients when things get physical, my way of working is to de-escalate a situation so that restraint is never needed - ever. I have a gut feeling that I need to tread carefully for my own physical safety now, leaving is an option but knowing that I have come across this and I really feel like I was set up and thrown in the deep in, the organisation expects that I will acquiesce.
many very twisted people in healthcare who go into it perhaps unconsciously realizing that they will have a lot of power over vulnerable people and yes they Will be easily able to abuses power
They collude with people in power. They triangulate and cause drama. They are great debaters and boundary pushers. 100% true
They are the workers of iniquity described all through the Book of Psalms.
Rhetoricians/persuaders/manipulators. They have great ability in turning things around to their favor, even when they are completely at fault. This is often exacerbated when the victim is not very skilled or lacks confidence.
I was bullied for four years and then I just walked out as I got so ill from it. I looked like a walking corpse, it was horrible. I’m waiting for karma to catch up to them.
U were bullied four years at a job or school ?
What I have learned is to no matter what always be secure of myself in a workplace. Never show weakness. This is what bullies target. I am happy to loose my job or make mistakes at work, but I will never let the bullies win, I will remain confident no matter what.
Thanks for your uplifting comments. & advice. I for one intend to read this during down time if needed at my job. It's so hard if these mgrs & co - workers are very "sneaky" about it & our personality types (incl. calm, respectful, insightful & fair) attract these types like bees to honey. They take kindness to unfortunately be weakness. Then, when we file or say we will file against such, the sneaky rats take on the "victim" mask, or belittling mgmnt outrightly demeans in different ways. Especially when there is no strong HR / Union / decent upper Mgmnt support or monitoring of such corruption in the workplace. Seems they get a "rise" out of intimidating certain employees. To the horrible end result of made up "witchhunts" pushing decent workers / mgmnt out of positions we once loved
These people are very sick Ms. Imsdal
I just left a workplace where I was relentlessly bullied by the covert bully type. They were hyper-critical nit-pickers, who liked to micromanage and marginalize me. I was constantly left with everyone else's work and would be in trouble if I didn't finish it all. People would talk as I came into a room and stop talking immediately once I was there. There were tons of sideways glances, impossible expectations and snide and snarky remarks. New people would always be nice for a day or two and then I'd notice how they'd avoid me or stop talking to me. Everyone tells you to go to HR, your manager or a higher-up with the company -but not many people think about small businesses (like the place I worked) where the manager, your direct supervisors and even the owner of the facility itself all work along side you every day. There's no one over their heads to go to, and you can't talk to these people because they're the ones doing it. The bullying even became more apparent after I put in my two weeks, with people beginning to make sure I could hear nasty things they say. In that situation, isn't it best just to leave and find a new place to work?
Hi MsSholin,
Since you couldn’t stop them, I’m glad you go away.
If the owners condone it, you’re stuck. But often, if you push back loud and clear right away, you can stop it.
Relentless bullies misunderstand when you put up with it or overlook it out of kindness. They think you’re a victim and they can get away with more.
Glad you left.
What’s the price of putting up with bullying? Slow erosion of your soul.
Recognize the early warning signs and learn how to stop it fast so you’re not a victim in your next job.
Best wishes,
Ben
*****
Hi TruthQuest,
Good.
Sometimes, we’re fooled but learn to recognize the early warning signs so you can protect yourself.
Best wishes,
Ben
I posted my UA-cam video the other day about being bullied at work and fired when I reported it. After I made my video I received a courier delivered letter from an Attorney representing Monitronics. It was a cease and desist letter.
The lawyer demanded I immediately stop posting anything regarding the company and stated I had "until Friday" to take down all of my postings.
I asked the attorney what posting did he have an issue with and he refused to say. He simply said I had better take down all of my postings and my video and never speak of the company. I worked at the company. I had an experience at that company.
The lawyer told me I was posting false statements and that Monitronics had "statements" (two of which were from two women involved in the bullying and the other three from their friends and cohorts who sat with them and who were friends with them). It was like a mob rule and the lawyer didn't care.
I thought we had freedom of speech in America. How can a corporation sic an attorney on a person and demand that they remove "EVERYTHING" and say "NOTHING ELSE EVER" even about their own experience? I didn't know this was possible. I am being THREATENED.
MsSbolin no, do leave, get skillful, be one step ahead. exactly what you've said is currently happening to me. I reacted to this at first, but now I know exactly the creature I'm dealing with, I am rallying wits and I'm ready to play ball. She picked the wrong person to mess with😁
don't leave
The happiest moment of my work life was to see the two bullies who constantly harassed me fought each other one day. It all started with a heated argument which later turned to a fist fight in office. I was watching all this and laughing inside my mind.
That can be set up. I call it "Fight Promotion." You get one bully in another part of the organization to fight your bully. It is amusing to watch. Saint Paul did that at a gathering of Pharisees and Saducees who were trying to get Rome to get rid of Paul. Paul admitted that he was a Pharisee and that set the two factions at each other. The Romans called the thing off and took Paul away from them.
thank you. i came home and couldn't stop crying. your video validated me and helped me realize that my coworker is a bully
Darya Palenyy stay strong. Bullies are the weak ones
Great that you got wise to their antics :-)
Crying too 😢
No you already knew you were being bullied the other part of you kept questioning if it really was … you know yourself
Yes they encourage others to bully as well they send messages through others employees
IKR
They gossip too while people present or not far from them... it’s like they are mentally challenged
I have been singled out by women, never by men.
Men can be just as bad; many of them have been conditioned to be soft on woman. Not all, but many.
Jealousy. Haters are your biggest fans.
Same! Except for a former boss who was a male.
Because you're pretty and are probably a leader and your own person
@transwomen aresexistmen Stop hating
I just left a workplace that was rife with these irrational behaviors. I stood my ground and they immediately played the victim. I just stated that I would not allow anyone to make me their scapegoat. I left and I have no regrets. Life is too short. They will get theirs eventually. I am learning to be more assertive and not to let them harrass me. They are really miserable, insecure, losers who usually aren't very good at their jobs and project their insecurites onto others. They will lie, cheat and abuse with impunity. Coverts will never put anything in writing and deny any wrong doing. They do everything in private and triangulate buy talking negative about the people that they are trying to destroy.
I could not have said it better, you just really hit the nail on the head here. There is nothing to add, you worded it perfectly.
Exactly!
Ditto! You hit this nail on the head with EVERYTHING you state.
I recently left a toxic dump of a job for the same reasons.
It’s all so very juvenile and unnecessary.
When all you want is to just show up, do your job and go home.
Miserable insecure people attract miserable insecure people that’s why they operate in a group.
I worked at a large retail store, the bullying started with two or three but spread to others and they were sabataging my work, making my job miserable.
Very helpful video. I knew someone who had all these qualities. I think bullies are more likely to go after the strongest people because they defend the weaker ones and they are more intimidated by them. That has been my experiance anyway.
IKR
Definitely. I have many skills and am a strong person and it only makes them want to take you down and make sure they keep you and your skills for themselves. You become extremely ill from being treated this way and this makes it very difficult for you to leave. They expect you to be and do everything no matter what you are going through physically which is something they cause in the first place and they know they caused it.
Amen. Studies show that it is often the strongest members of the team who are targeted through jealousy. Wishing you peace.
It depends and can go either way. If bullies don't like someone, they will target them
I once got a workplace bully arrested and fired after I dug up some dirt on her.
Awesome, what did you do
I got a manager made redundant due to him bullying me, he worked in the factory bullying ppl for over 20 years, within 3 weeks of me starting I left my notice giving my reasons, i bumped into one of the co workers a few weeks after, he told me the manager had to choose between redundancy or the sack, I also spared a supervisors job in the HR office when he grabbed me by the shoulders and tried to move me to a different section of the factory, he wasn't my section supervisor, i took pitty on him when he cried in the office, he had 3 kids to feed, and i didn't take it further
@@greimalkin So sorry, I just now found this! Wow. It’s a long story, but after she dumped her workload on me, I was able to find out she was stealing money from the company. The expenditures reports I had to organize and file told me everything, I made copies and highlighted the crucial information and showed it to our boss.
My workplace bully was brought to her knees when I quietly confronted her. I said "I'm still in the room and heard every word you said. At this point, I think you're being a little shit-starter. Don't start shit where there is no shit. This ends right here, right now." And I walked away.
20 minutes later that big ol toddler was at my desk bubbling up with tears and a very sincere apology.
My superpower that day was knowledge. I knew she had a history of relentlessly tearing down and bullying new people. I was prepared and had my plan I place to quietly shut her down for good.
While she gained respect for me, I built a wall.
This woman plays her sympathy card to draw you in. She acts like she's everyone's hero and knows it all.
Next thing you know she's timing your bathroom breaks and claiming she has no idea why she verbally, loudly shredded you in front of 35 people.
Don't back down. Don't cry to the boss. Assert yourself quietly and calmly. Make short statements. Make sure you look her right in the eyeballs. Save the anger for the gym but let her have it.
Don't start any shit
Won't be no shit.
I probably should mention she started with this the day after I signed a bid for a promotion. 😮🎉
Tomorrow I find out if I got the job and can safely move forward.
It's only a job to me but to Becky, the workplace Bully, it's her whole life. I find that to be very sad but not sad enough to be her victim.
Bang on, except bullies often have a network of support in upper management, who often utilize lower management bullies to get rid of "difficult" targets. It's all about power and the mask of civility, and their egos rule the day... and they will crush anyone who challenges their delusions and ego, declare themselves the winner, and bring the company down the toilet with them... all with company backing.
You hit it head on, very very good description of what goes on. The sliming around, buddy behaviors and how they use managers and employees in gang groups: that is exactly what happens.
This is my entire workplace.
bullies are all majoring in drama in high school
One thing about covert bullies is after meetings at work they intimidate in the hallway by harassing you where nobody sees the action.
I have been in a job for 3 months now and am constantly being criticized by my boss for making minor mistakes. I was not given adequate training for this job and was thrown in at the deep end. I am leading a team and have been expected to take over someone else's job who is on long term sick, as well as do my own job. My boss has started an action plan which she says is designed to improve my performance but is just basically a list of instructions of things she wants me to do. She has made my life a misery. Now her boss is suggesting moving me to another department, as if it is me that is the problem
Hi ogfergie,
Better see a lawyer right away and find out what you have to document and what strategy to use to stop them.
Best wishes,
Ben
This whole thread is reminding me why I am an entrepreneur. I hope your situation has improved ogfergie. I am studying management in school and, in theory, technically the buck stops with management whether the people in the organization understand that or not. It's like we need oxygen, whether we know that oxygen exists or not. Sure there are employees who can't perform, have bad attitudes, etc. but an effective team oriented manager does things to ensure that obstacles are removed from the operations/project task team members so that the objectives can be met. I think documenting your experiences and ESPECIALLY VOICE RECORDING your interactions (check legal status of this in your state, most states you can record if you are part of the convo). Good advice by Ben. I know a lot of women who report that they have been sexually harrassed. When they try to do something about it, they have quit already and think that a court will just take their word, often without witnesses. It always ends up in vain and they spend a grip of cash on attorneys who do nothing for them. I have told countless numbers of women to get evidence before they quit and they do not, then they find out I was right, which does not make me feel good, but it is better to have evidence and not use/need it, than to fail to provide it when you really need it.
OfftoShambala
Hi OfftoShambala,
Thanks. And I agree.
See a lawyer and learn to document (and record if legal).
You may not have chosen to be in a war, but you are.
Fight to win!
Best wishes,
Ben
Ben, You can get a lawyer for workplace bullying?
RECORD YOUR BOSS WITH CELLPHONEIN YOUR POCKET
I want to become a truck driver soon so I won't have to deal with this anymore. Just me, the truck and the road.
I don't know why anyone thinks they can stop workplace bullying.
The only option is to leave. This is from personal experience!
Exactly
It is too bad, but you are right. You can not stop bullying but you can change yourself so you are not a target of bullying. Ever wonder why mean people don't get bullied. Because at the first sign of disrespect they are in your face. Sorry folks but we can not be so nice in the workplace, we have to set boundaries and enforce those boundaries.
I cant fight 40 people, i dont look down on anyone im always nice to people. I just dont understand where this has came from.
I feel the same. I've just walked out of yet ANOTHER job because of bullying. This is the 4th time I'm doing this. Just so tired of always being the target 😢
And they will act very arrogant "I can out do you"and"i am better than you are"
Dealing with the sneaky covert bullies. This video helped alot. It showed that my intuition was Accurate
I've been harassed and bullied at literally every job I've ever had and I'm not overly sensitive, I think it's because I'm super nice and calm they want to push me around. I only leave when it's management that begins harassing me. I had to leave a really great company because my supervisor was a covert bully. I saw it almost instantly but to this day very few can see it. Even though I could identify it, I couldn't stop her. She did EXACTLY as you said with the eye rolling and playing the professional victim. Over the past decade I've developed such a horrible anxiety about working because it's gotten so bad. I had a job not 3 days and the manager was literally yelling at me because I was in the building 9 minutes before my shift start and she said I was too early (when based on company rules I wasn't), and another time because I asked for a schedule. Not sure what to do with my life now. I've tried working from home but can't seem to find a legitimate thing that I can do. Thank you for this video, I feel a little less alone, like you would have recognized the bullying when nobody else did. No one believed me.
I understand you, being nice in this world will only have us finish last. Much luck and love to you ! I know what it’s like to be bullied. No fun
I think even have ptsd from it now and it’s been 7 years 🥺😒
Workplace bullies never ever stop abusing people.
There are actually specific words...
(I just learned) that carry legal implications. I have actually suffered from toxic and hostile workplace aggression and harassment.
Management ...Human Resources kind of ignores "bullies". That said if you use correct terms of "hostile workplace", "harassment", Human Resources often will make harassed victims become more targets of suspicion and abuse acting like they (HR) aren't aware of, or interested in the reports, or don't believe the victims.
Initially, Victims often try to ignore abuse... avoid bullies... alert management... document harassment... and eventually confront Bullies telling them repeatedly to stop!!!!
Bullies do not stop!
Facts... Bullies at work are protected. Victims, (of workplace bullies) like myself, feel we are sometimes in increased danger of workplace violence, as previous victims who left were saturated with abuse and hatred and are more likely to return to job sites to retaliate since management and Human Resources often exacerbate bad situations, making victims more likely to be hurt. When workplace bullying is tolerated... Workers are trapped and workplace violence is likely to erupt at some point.
The only thing that will end bullying is for everyone to take it seriously, and immediately removed bullies with enforced zero tolerance.
Often victims of workplace bullies quit jobs we want to work at to avoid danger of bullies who pick fights and won't stop. This causes personal economic losses and rage!
This video, in a few minutes, exposes a lot of what has happened to me a number of times.
My most recent tragedy involved A drugged up psycho forklift driver who almost squished a coworker in front of me. I yelled in time for her to avoid the forklift as he accelerated in reverse and turned towards her...
This bully on a later date pushed an empty pallet into a full pallet of products I was working on, toward me and I had to escape to another pallet after management talked to him a few minutes earlier about picking fights on me. A couple of days later he picked another fight on me and I told him to never come within 10 feet of me (and I am just over 5 feet tall he is over 6 feet tall..)... He charged his body toward me.
I moved and he missed me by less than 2 feet.
I left my job within 30 minutes of that event. He will not stop!
I want to be kind... Helpful... Cooperative....
It is received by tyrants as stupid... Weak... Vulnerable... And worthy of attack.
I quit this job, after discovering on several previous jobs that bullies are tolerated at work... and on a job previously even promoted; which is destroying companies, and product, and morale, and endangering workers.
I am actively seeking viable solutions to end toxic hostile, harassment filled working situations, for my safety and my sanity. I have run away too many times to keep my safety, my sanity, and my peace.
@jetterry1679 Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm so sorry you've been through what you have. You're completely right about how bullies/harrassment/workplace violence is tolerated when it absolutely never should be.
I left that job. It was the best decision of my life. I now work at a job that I love under management who protects its workers and cares for us. I've never been happier, and I hope you find a place you can feel safe at and valued the way we all deserve.
I deal with this on a DAILY BASIS lol. One way I deal with this is by keeping to myself and staying busy, staying focused and just work hard.
Lizzy L good
@@rhondahill66 Yup, you have to lay it all on the line. The stakes are high, it's your self respect.
Get out!!!!!!! Run for your life and don’t look back. Sometimes it’s better to walk away than to stay. Its a strength not a weakness. Places like this will suck the life out of you. These people are sick and demon possessed. Narcissistic leadership is debilitating. If you’re not careful and wise enough to get out, you’ll become one of them.
Trying to shine a light on the bully can make you look like a professional victim. It’s very tough to stand up for yourself. Getting others who agree with you looks like you’re building a clique of your own, or colluding.
And the culprit wins. It's okay for them to start cliques but not their victims. Their goal is to isolate victims without support. Victims are alone
Wow, this hit the nail on the head. This is exactly what is happening to me. One covert bully is using an overt bully to do her bidding against me. I feel so anxious and sick over it. They are spinning it like I am the toxic one. They turn co-workers against me and then those co-workers start playing playing games with me. Then when I speak up about the games that are being played they say I am the toxic bully who is talking about people. They also deny the games and say I am paranoid. I feel sick and anxious over it and don't even want to go to work anymore. It hurts more because the covert bully played like she was my friend for over a year and told me to confide in her what games the other co-workers were playing and that she would have my back if i ever needed to address the issue! It didn't take me long to have suspicions she wasn't what she seemed, but she still kept up with the fake smiles and act and I still confided in her. Although, as soon as I started getting recognition from the Bosses she became very jealous and threw me under the bus big time by telling the game players what I had confided in her. Now the whole team has turned against me. This is a horrific situation.
I’m getting followed by bullies and there buddies non stop. They are very sneaky and do it when I’m alone and it’s been very hard to prove. Most people say I sound crazy. But my wife has seen it first hand. It’s happened outside of work as well.
That’s one of the reason on why I can’t make friends at work as an adult. That’s why I only have acquaintances and like to socialize, but not to the point where a close friendship is developed. My school days were better because I had close friends that were sincere and reliable. But later as an adult, people were beginning to change. As soon as I entered the professional world, I realized that it was very different now. I was nice to them all the time but they never returned that kindness back. I know it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong to them. It’s them that isolated me and sabotage my success. Now I keep my senses sharp to detect any form of bullying.
All thanks to these videos, I had the courage to speak up, and tell a higher up about my issue, and so far helped to solve my bullying and harassment at work. Do not stoop down to the bullies, or harassers level by getting angry or being physical because you will come out as the aggressor. Never be silenced by the bully because it will be detrimental to your health. Speak up to the harasser/bully or tell a higher up!
I am in the category "a professional victim". Being nice did not seem to help me against a bully female.
Getting strong is a good idea. She is being a predator. I am being kind. She just gets worse.
You are spot on! I really dislike videos where people say bullies are hurt people try to be nice and they will come around. I say BS! I've worked now with a bully for over 20 years and nothing I tried worked! So now I'm done trying!
Overt bullies love making fun of you in front of an audience..the minute you pass by a few ppl, they smell an opportunity and attack you while there’s enough people around to hear..sooo sick
Actual sociopathic behavior.
At work I had this bully. He was the kind with the sarcastic remark, a crooked Snively smile and always the rude comment.. I tried joking around with him, didn't work. I asked him to stop Fn with me. Didn't work. Nothing really worked except this. I walked up to him, stood inched away. And I said." Let's step outside, so I can beat your ass into the ground." He hasn't spoken to me in months. The threat of violence has unfortunately been the only thing that works at times. He also knows he wouldn't fair too well if he accepted.
I swear this is 1 of many solutions that possibly can work. I did this to a bully once & he backed down for good. I thought we were going to fight. He coward out. Good for him because it would have been a one sided massacre. He knew he'll be sucking out a soup straw the rest of his life after I finished with him..LOL!
what`s worse is when the supervisor is in on it
I’ve been listening to numerous videos about this topic and this is by far the best description of bullying behavior especially for the workplace!! Thank you!!!
Wonderful to see people like u who want to stop these evil people! Well done!!
Sadly upper management turns a blind eye especially if they want a reason to fire you. Psychopathy is often rewarded and rarely punished.
I am going through this. I just want a second chance. I moved to a new job to get away from bullies. Literally, I am driving almost an hour away. I can't believe it. A new coworker is a friend of one my old bullies from my last employment. I came to work and low and behold, my whole team is upset with me. All because of gossip and slandering my name. I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I just wanted a new start. I'm so sad.
It's tiring
Some one said it already but sneaky bullies are hard to build a case on, and 9 times out of 10 they have a close relationship with upper workers or they have too many people who they get along with whom support the behavior or the manager to manipulate everyone. Like in the video spoke about how they can convince people of whatever they like about you and people believe them. Another thing I truly believe is a bullies is nothing with out a audience. They need someone to see what they do, if they are a sneaky bully there are always someone around they that support the behavior even if the bully manipulating them. The worst thing about sneaky bullies are the fact that whatever case u build up will be look at as if u are picking on them. If u go to the manager and say my belongings missing, he or she made disrespect comments to me, someone spilled coffee on my desk and so on. Overall its hard to win. One of the best ways to deal with these types of bullies are to completely act as if they are not there.totally block them out
Hi Ecentric,
Everything you say about how hard it is to do something about the really sneaky, covert bullies with friends in high places is true.
But I hate to just block it out. That only encourages them to do more. Like prey looking weak to a hyena. They go after you more.
If they’re really too powerful, you just may have to leave. But often, if we work together, we can figure out how to get them. Sometimes people are just waiting for us to act so they can support us.
Best wishes,
Ben
They never do this when they are alone only when their people are around then they act like they got big balls!
These are good points. We hope that these topics are continuing to be discussed and addressed. There are various ways that workplace bullies try to justify their behavior and even reward their behavior of going after persons who are usually doing good work and who are transparent about their work efforts. Ironically, the work place bullies have very strange skills of turning things upside down and to make appearances favor the bully.
Isaiah 5:20 in action.
This is so on point, I'm currently dealing with this at work now.
The female manager in my department is the covert leader who encourages others to bully me and recrouts the new comers to join their team. It's very stressful and my boss is too dumb to notice.
Your boss knows exactly what's going on he just to cowardly to cross her
@@nightfangs2910, yea & you'll be surprised at how many of them are having sex. She more than likely seduced him & will destroy him for falling prey. I could be wrong, but it happens alot more than you think(I mean alot more).
Thank you so much for this video. I think the woman (little girl?) who bullies me at work falls into the the category of the type who use their target as emotional punching bags. The whispering with other workers (while I'm there), snickering amongst themselves and just barely audible cut-downs and criticisms about mistakes I (though everyone) have made, make my work environment very difficult. With certain people in my life, I've had to stop any contact with them (or engage only in extremely limited contact), for my own well-being. One day, it hit me like a ton of bricks why this one woman continued to bully me at work: she is exactly like my mother.....who was a narcissist.....and used me as an emotional punching bag. She would come to where ever I was working, ask for the manager, and then say something like: "Well, I don't know why you hired HER. She's no good." She would criticize any little detail that wasn't absolutely perfect, and then proceed to degrade and belittle me. She was very condescending and would take any opportunity to publicly humiliate me. I eventually had to go NO contact whatsoever with her, and now only extremely LIMITED contact with my sister, because she was the "golden child" and is now very much like my deceased mother. Figuring out the source of all this, at work, doesn't really do me much good though, because I still have to work with this person on a semi-regular basis. I've basically resorted to putting as much time and space between the two of us as I can. I've also been given the night shift now, which I never had before. That is more bearable than morning or evening shift, because at least I don't have to listen to the gossip (because I'm in earshot of it), or be a part of the drama or two faced clique or back stabbing that goes on. But still, I get around this girl and I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest, I start to sweat profusely, my hands shake and I feel like I want to throw up. I know many people will say "Well, maybe you should get a new job", but why should I? I've been there two years longer than her and the job is about an eight minute drive from my house. I don't know what to do. Talking to the manager or assistant manager has done nothing. Talking to the district manager has done nothing. I feel like one day I'm going to snap, and she will be the one to get to the end of my fuse, which is very long. At that point I will go nuclear. Any thoughts would be helpful. Thank you for letting me vent and rant for as long as I have.
"Make a business case" PERFECT thank you very much! I think that is the edge I need.
Hi 2uMRAsh,
Good for you. Be brave and strong and persevere.
Since all situations are different, you may need a coach to get strength, courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543).
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
Best wishes,
Ben
I'm dealing with 3 at work currently. my job requires me to work with clients. no clients=no money = hours cut. I'm currently facing the fact that I'm about to lose my job. these 3 indeviduals have everyone on their side. I've been struggling with them for 3 years now and I'm finally losing the battle. I spend a lot of time alone and I also own a farm. your so right when you say they seek people like me out. :(
My boss has hand picked a team of flying monkeys.
I am the new employee with loads of experience and completely competent but because I will not join the fan club he is on a personal mission to get me to crack but I will not.
I like my job and most of my coworkers.
I was also offered another position in the same workplace, in addition to my current job.
I work on an as needed basis.
Most of my coworkers have been there for 20 to 30 years and are NOT going to speak up.
It's almost laughable how he uses every bully tactic on Ben's list.
Never seen anything quite like it.
Since I have been studying narcissistic behavior for about 2 years I picked up on it immediately.
It really bothered me in the beginning but not as much as before----enough to be posting here though.
Exactly right!!!
Not personally and still effective action.
Best wishes,
Ben
MrStripeyDog thanks for the support !
I have recently come out of a horrific, toxic job. I had 2 managers who actively and severely bullied me and lead by fear (I worked at a bank in compliance for context) my supervisor (the assistant manager of the department) would constantly criticize me. Down to how I worded emails. Micromanaging to the extreme. The other, her boss would just sit there and let her berate me and break me down. Textbook gaslighting and bullying. She even orchestrated the department to turn against me and tattle on anything I did, even asking basic questions. Any question I asked I would get called in and asked specifically why I asked it and talked down to on how I should have known the answer. I have never felt so small in my life. I was given an obscene amount of work (I was told this wasn’t enough work for my position), and I would have little to no direction. Often I would be half way through assignments and they would change the way they wanted it, then say I didn’t meet deadlines. I would agonize over when our weekly meeting would happen. I started having regular panic attacks, stomach problems, a constant eye twitch that would not go away. I quit sleeping. After the aid of a few alcoholic beverages I would cry my self to sleep most nights. My husband would hold me at night to reassure there was a way out and we would be fine financially if I wanted to quit and be happy again. My pride got in the way and I said this was just part of the job. I could tough it out. I wanted to believe things would get better. The level of cruelty was astonishing with these people. We had to eat lunch together nearly every day and I would pretend to laugh and joke but deep down I loathed these people. I was so fake and it became emotionally exhausting pretending to be happy all the time when we had “team building” lunches. I was becoming a bitter and angry person. I wanted to feel joy again something that was completely taken from me because I had little self worth due to constant criticizing from them.
The final straw was when I didn’t take my (scheduled) vacation day to finish a project. I missed my sons field day. To make things worse another coworker took all the credit. I was done.
Honestly quitting this job saved my life. My doctor said I had severe depression and PTSD. I had constant nightmares and flashbacks. It helps me heal by sharing my story and hoping I can help others. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you don’t matter. You are enough and you’re important. I’m happy to report these days I work for the family business. I put my kids 100% first and we travel when we want. I still have the occasional nightmare but things have gotten much better through counseling almost 8 months later. Don’t ever put up with bullying. You deserve so much more.
They took away my confidence and self worth. I have really been struggling with crippling anxiety and trying to get that part back. My therapist says it will take time but I’ve been focusing on things I’m good at and enjoying life. Art and music helps me through the anxiety. it gets better just taking it one day at a time.
Terrible. I'm happy that you're on the mend.
The environment I work in workers and managers, of both sexes, just walk up and straightforward talk to me with sexual harassment just dripping, while we have to take sexual harassment computer classes at work. That is how bad they are.
Then they will literally turn around when you talk about something like a kitchen appliance and I am not kidding you: they will try to tell you that that is sexist. Those are the monsters I deal with.
I had bullies in my work when I worked as a security officer. They would target things like my work and, in one particular case, my personal life. I feel I was to blame because I feel that I could've nipped it in the bud, before it got out of control. During this time I decided to learn how to control the flood, but by this time, the harrassment got too much, so I request a transfer to a different position, which was awesome for as long as it lasted.
I have since left the job, and while I am still haunted by the entire experience, I am glad for it, because as I have been affected by bullies and bullying for most of my life, I now have the tools to never again be affected by this ever again....
Hi Dr. Leichtling. This describes my previous work environment to a t. I've been working for 30 years in all types of environments with people from all walks of life and the most toxic environment I've ever worked in has been the school system. It's an environment full of cliques and the last school I worked in had a real nasty clique - they were underhanded, manipulative, sneaky, and cruel. I suffer from depression and anxiety and they made it significantly worse. Right now I'm on leave because of the depression but unfortunately it's unpaid. I feel I've suffered a nervous breakdown from what they've put me through. Thank you for putting this information out there.
I was bullied by mostly girls at college just because they were jealous of me. They gave backhanded compliments. Told me I couldn't sit with them . Criticise me for dressing nicely telling me I'm overdressed and a tryhard. One chick would poke me hard for making perceived mistakes and for wearing new clothing. They'd insult me in front of then. Cyberbully me by trying to get me banned on Facebook. I was apparently showing off. They would often exclude me. Lie to me tell me they were dressing casual and then they didn't. They told me to my face that I always "steal " their limelight. They broke my chair in class and hoped that I would fall off it. it's not funny because I have hypermobility and scoliosis and various mental health issues. They would tell me I'm only an amateur when I've had more experience than them.
Sounds like the catty women I deal with too. I never had any problems with women, until I was stalked by a young guy. Since then not a day has gone by without me being harassed by bystander women. And the guys such nasty women have contact with are the nastiest guys you would not want to know.
Hi Ben, thank you very much for your advices and excellent video. One thing that I have notice is that these poeple serve very well the bosses, since they are the ones acussing and surveilling everybody, hence their presence is desired in many companies. It is very hard to unmask them in public or bring this situation up, in front of someone in a higher position. I believe that in these countless cases, the only solution would be to find another job.
Thank you for posting this, it helps with what I have to face today. I'm going back to work after taking last week off because management abuse is getting out of hand at my work. Most unprofessional managers ever. I actually hope the fire me just so I can find somewhere new to go.
I watched this actually getting more angry at my boss as the video continued because it describes all three of my bosses to a tee.
I definitely feel hardened from what I've gone thru this past year and I'm sick of it. Even if they keep me they're going to find a different person today.
I'm actually resentful and angry that I have to go but I'm going to use that anger to make me stronger.
I work at a Vet office and 2 of the Drs. Are very mean and a few other employees follow behind them so that they fit in. This is why I stay quiet, do my work, Keep my private life PRIVATE. Don't give them nothing to talk about it.
Dear Doctor, in 8 short minutes you covered my whole work-life!! You are spot on....thank you!!!
i got a bully at work and shes so good shes bullying the boss. she worked 35 years in the job and for some unknown reason she gets away with bullying staff members. people have reported her yet she still gets away with it . Its even a government too.
+J o n a t h a n
Hi Jonathan,
Serious problem.
With someone so entrenched you’re probably stuck, unless you can get good evidence that she’s doing something illegal.
Since she’s gotten away with it for so long, you’ll probably have to look for another job.
Best wishes,
Ben
@@bilalhamurabi3362 Ha ha ha!!!!
I work with both kinds of bullies. I work with 2 covert bullies along with a supervisor who exhibits the same behavior for the past 7 years. It is tough but it wasn't until I pissed off one of them that the hell really began. They would sabotage the work space by loosening the caps of chemicals and oils that need shaking ( I keep a spare set of clothes in my locker for just such an occasion), or unscrew certain pipettes so they wouldn't work properly, hide the garbage bags, overflow the waste barrel, leave other chemicals empty.. the list is endless. Heck, they were even going out of their way to embarrass me in the public work notebook we use to let each shift coming in know what problems needed to be tackled or what changes had occurred in procedures. Everything came to a head when said supervisor told me that I was a hard person to work with because everyone was walking on eggshells when I would come to work, never knowing what kind of a mood I was going to be in and that if I didn't like my job, to just leave. It was at that moment I realized that the criticism and blatant sabotage of the work space was taking a toll on me and that they wanted me gone. So I decided to beat them at their own game cause, at 50 and slowly going blind, I need my job. Plus, the pay and benefits are the best in the area. I wrote in the public notebook that the next time someone decides to "school" me and humiliate me in the notebook, I would consider it bullying and log a FORMAL complaint. I told said supervisor that if she wouldn't jump on me the SECOND I walked through the door and in front of everyone about the 1 thing I did wrong in the 12 hours I worked that it would help a lot (and this happened EVERY day) and that it is her job AS supervisor to check for these mistakes and fix them, that she needed to start checking behind everyone else and not just me I would be most appreciative and that if she didn't stop the harassment going on in the notebook I would file her in the complaint for not stopping it. Did their behavior change? LOL... Heck no (except for the notebook). They just became more "creative" with their complaints and sabotage. So I have since changed my behavior on how I view the whole thing because the only thing I can change is me. I no longer take it personally. I have made it a game to figure out what they have sabotaged and simply take care of it. I have used logic on the complaints and logged whenever they have made the same mistakes and simply point out to said supervisor they are no more perfect then I. And I have become friends with the woman in charge of HR and am on very good terms with the plant manager, who, by the way, is the overt bully. He yells and screams at people, including at my supervisor. When he tried that with me, I just looked him in the eye and said in my best southern accent (I'm originally from the south but have lived up north for about 25 years) he might want to rephrase what he just said or yell louder cause I'm a little hard of hearing in the left ear and the people in India didn't hear it either. He took a step back, looked at me and just laughed. It was kinda weird but ever since I did that he smiles and jokes with me whenever he sees me. I refuse to take the piddly crap going on with my coworkers to him. Besides, when they learned I have dinners with HR and hang out in the general managers office when I'm on break just to chat on occasion, they have lessened their attacks. And they flat out stopped speaking to me... which works for me.
Hi refinerychick,
I’m so sorry. Typical and very tough.
But you’re on the right track.
Your plant manager respects someone who comes back at him in a clever way without challenging his authority directly.
Make your complaints in writing and formal. Document at home and hide records. You’re building a case for when you can find a friendly reporter.
Best of all. Making it a game. Never let them see you hurt or frustrated. Keep looking for evidence to attack them.
Eventually you’ll need a lawyer skilled in this area. You may not win a law suit but you might get a huge buyout when you’re ready.
Good luck.
Best wishes,
Ben
refinerychick Thanks!!! I'm going to try that tactic. Im going through the same thing, except my boss is not a bully. She is a great boss. My coworkers are another story. I'm dealing with a covert and 2 overt bullies. They alternate their attacks. The two coverts would manipulate the overt bully into attacking me. The two covert bullies are good friends and secretly hate the overt guy. The overt guy only attacks when he feel threatened or when manipulated into attack. He really a good hearted guy that wears his heart in his sleeve. The two overts harassed him for 8 years and changed him into this emotional monster. I can tolerate him though. He's straight forward but the two sneaky rats are the ones that gets my goat.
@refinerchick Thank you.
refinerychick Stay strong! Blessings and peace!!!
Oh my gosh, I can not believe what they do to you. Believe me, all bullies are this dumb and childish, it amazes me...
ahhh the one that back stabs you with a smile, does the minimum and uses snide remarks, they called a last minute meeting to only point "your mistake" and belittle you in front of 3 others. they are the reason I'm loosing my sleep tonight. I'm sorry to realize I'm giving them my power....
Hi Linda,
Glad you recognize what they do and who they are.
Now you’re ready to be strong, brave and determined. And to make an effective plan you will carry out.
Since all situations are different, you need individualized help. Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543).
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
Best wishes,
Ben
Your boss does this?
The bully loses n the end, just remember
I've never been bullied at work, but the signs are important things to look out for on behalf of being an employee at a commercial real estate company that I work at for 4 days a week.
You're lucky
I'm nearly in tears with how accurate this is. I'm dealing with a covert bully at work at the moment and it is absolutely crushing my spirit. His behaviour is almost word for word how Ben describes it in this video. I am the only female in an all male office of only 10 people. Everyone in the office knows that I am being bullied but nobody has ever stuck up for me because it would mean that the bully would turn on them as well. He is a big, overbearing grumpy man. We don't have any sort of HR Department and my 2 bosses cannot deal with any sort of conflict. I just wish I knew what to say back to my bully when he is horrible to me or tries to micromanage me even though he has nothing to do with my job. I know that he has the issues and not me. I am fairly unproblematic and I am a really friendly girl and I do my job really well and I'm well liked in the office but the bully drags me down every day. Thanks for the video Ben. I do feel somewhat better being able to put a label on my bullies behaviour and knowing that it is in fact bullying and not me being oversensitive.
Hi Lizzie,
You need to deal with him fast before he destroys your productivity and gets you fired.
Since all situations are different, I offer individualized help so you can develop strength, courage, determination and skill, and create and carry out an effective plan. Please, call or email me to schedule phone, Zoom, Messenger, WhatsApp or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES (877-828-5543). If you get voice mail, I’m counseling someone else. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.
You can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s the price of putting up with bullies? Slow erosion of your soul!
I can help you work through a complicated situation.
Best wishes,
Ben
Wow...this may be one of the most illuminating videos I've ever seen on youtube, and that's saying something...the mechanics of what you described are something that I've seen take place over many years, in many areas, sometimes directed at me, often against others...this is such a cancer on productivity, you would think more businesses would take a proactive approach, but I've never even heard this mentioned in a professional setting...
Hi Chokkan,
Thank you.
Sorry but true. Most people at business don’t care enough to get involved or to seek justice.
So you have to learn how to recognize the bullies and how to fight back legally.
All tactics depend on the situation.
Best wishes,
Ben
Thank you for bringing this topic to light. I'm going through harassment. I brought up this issue to managment. My mind is stressed out and makes me want to flee. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of destroying me
Thank you, I will try to contact you, I left all my previous workplaces because of bullies by supervisors, other employees, preceptors. I would like to keep my jobs, I am a good worker, I love to work. I found that most nurses in the healthcare settings are the one who bullied other nurses both covert and overt. This is killing me inside to have to leave jobs because of bullying. I don't know what to do anymore.
Thank you for this information, I can't believe you described exactly what I'm dealing with. It's soul crushing dealing with such people.
Thank you so much !!
I will no longer tolerate this abuse at work. I'm going to raise my personal space rent and evict the squatters !!
The funny part is that I noticed that this girl I was talking about. She had a temper tantrum each time anyone dared to criticize her. And she walked around pointing the finger in my face threatening me, that I needed to watch out... What a crazy girl. The bullies cant handle it when other people even slightly dare to question them. sad sad people.
BOY does this sound familiar!!!
very accurate list. Insideous behaviour
I have been bullied, defamed and gossiped about by a coworker for years. She finds a target and just won’t stop. I’ve talked to the business owner and they know how horrible she is but I believe they are afraid of her. I finally snapped a let her have it. No holds barred and she was taken so off balance that she canceled the rest of her clients for the day. Then she spent the next 2/12 hours getting drunk in the bar next to our business. She couldn’t even face me in order to come back and clean up her area. She sat outside the business and waited for me to leave. I’m never going to let her do that to me again nor will I let her get away with bullying anyone else at work.
Perfect response. That is the way to do it, push back.
I've been mobbed and gaslighting at work for over 12 years till present. Full of NPD cowards at work and will end up exposing themselves.. I'm a top worker, jealous of me big time and of my money and condo too. Defamation of character. Saying I'm a stalker, I drink, I'm crazy. All bs. Managers are scared of the bullies, they do nothing, union, police are all totally useless too. Toxic workplace in healthcare. Been working 38 years and never been suspended. Action speaks louder than words. But this crap never ends trying to scare the women at work, all the insecure and toxic women. I will never quit due to these lazy bums with no life. These 2 guys should be locked up and have the manager fired.
My whole workplace is against me even the boss. All are bullying me cuz they wannt me to quit and they are so mannipulative and sneaky the boss for example told my parents i have to show courage and stand for my self and i dont have to let me treat this bad by my kolleges but if my parents arent there the boss tells me, theres nothing i can do against this bullying im a victim and i will be forever in this workplace. I love my job but i live in a really small place and have at the Moment no possibility to change the workplace cuz i have no drivers license im working on it but im stuck in this poisonous place
Where evryone is trying to make me quit.
My neighbour is a bully...now one of his children is doing the same...the apple dn fall far from the tree
Thank you for this video. My bully makes up everything you said.
Im being bullied by a black female attorney that I support at work, she is never satisfied, she thinks her work comes before the attorneys who have court filings, she's not my only attorney, when I tell her I can do after I'm done with someone else's she shoves her work in my face, she comes into my cubicle uses my computer to fix her documents that are corrupted and have major formatting problems, she controls everyone in my area from what they eat as a group to forcing them to participate in every holiday gathering whether they want to or not. This is a government job, she talks down to me like she's superior with a smile on her face like she's being nice. She has a problem with anyone who doesn't do what she wants them to do that's not directly related to work. I've overhear her throwing tantrums constantly she was pouting over the lead attorney not buying her a cheeseburger for the team meeting and throwing a tantrum because others are bringing treats for everyone to eat. She never listens to anything I have to say. In the eyes of the attorneys she can do no wrong. I've been here 12 years with no problems until she arrived nine months ago after an over a decade absence because she used to work here previously. She has turned the other 13 attorneys that I work for. I recently had a review and she got everyone to submit negative comments about my work which didn't exist until she got here. I wrote a rebuttal to their rating scale which says I'm incompetent when their positive comments don't reflect that scale number they put I normally get a 2 I got a 1 point something which would indicate that I be placed on some type of probation but I was told this wasn't a disciplinary review. I plan on going to the union that represents employees at my job. So I flipped the script and discussed some of her behavior under the guise of applying those behaviors to all the attorneys I work for since she did the same to me forming a clique that she could manipulate into siding with her. She embodies everything you said in this video! She is never wrong, she needs lots of attention, she knows everything. I need my job I'm a single parent and plan to go to law school. What can I do? Does anyone have any suggestions? I left you a message Ben. Thank you.
I work with girls who are alot younger than me, and one is friends with my boss. They are in a clique, and you guessed it, I'm not apart of it. My lead is an overt narcissist, and I am a quiet push over who doesn't have boundaries...perfect target.
If possible apply for new jobs and move on. Also, when you arrive in a new setting, make sure to point out immediately if any comment is out of line
I would love your advice on my work situation, you've nailed it with the covert bully description & I feel like I'm the only one awake to what is going on & it frustrates me to the point of wanting to leave because I can't stand to watch people being pushed around & then leave. management seem either oblivious to it or choose to ignore. the culture is toxic & I don't know what to do! :(
And it doesnt even matter if your the best good worker, if they dont like you your most likey at risk for bullying or and getting fired. So sad. Do your job ,refrain from speaking on your feelings or thoughts TO ANYONE! Save money, plan A-Z and pray!! God bless good luck! 🙏
I've been mobbed and gaslighting at work for over 12 years till present. Full of NPD cowards at work and will end up exposing themselves.. I'm a top worker, jealous of me big time and of my money and condo too. Defamation of character. Saying I'm a stalker, I drink, I'm crazy. All bs. Managers are scared of the bullies, they do nothing, union, police are all totally useless too. Toxic workplace in healthcare. Been working 38 years and never been suspended. Action speaks louder than words. But this crap never ends trying to scare the women at work, all the insecure and toxic women. I will never quit due to these lazy bums with no life. These 2 guys should be locked up and have the manager fired.
i think i will hire a gang to jump my bully manager.
I support your idea. Not joking.
Hope it wrked for u buddy
You can hire me and i would work overtime time.
I support you... get that bully
Great stuff and wise words I wish I came across earlier. You describe my experiences exaclty, unfortunatley for me the bully won.
I was working as a newly qualified health professional in a new, dream job abroad. I quit and haven't worked for three years since. I've been out of pratice for so long now my career is probably over before it even started. I have developed a severe drink problem coupled with depression. I still have nightmares and huge regrets about leaving.
I was in an abusive relationship and had a monster mother in-law. This sounds exactly like my husband and my mother in-law. They use a lot of those techniques against me too, so it's interesting that the same abuse can happen at work. Endless boundary pushers... Oh, yes!Fear, obligation and guilt, the tools of abuse in relationships. Some people are just professional trouble-makers, aren't they! Possibly at home AND at work.
You too, Ishaque! :-)
Hi Ishaque,
It’s difficult but we must do what we need to do to make our future wonderful. That’s more important than the past and the old rules.
Be well!
Best wishes
Ben
I was recently fired from a sales job after making five sales in the first two weeks and far exceeding the requirements. I was followed around by several employees in the break room, restroom and fax machine. My supervisor did not give me any support and then I was fired because they stated that I would not be "ramped up" in time and was never paid my commission. This happen to me at two different companies.
Hi Rodney,
There’s something that’s missing here.
If they’ve taken your commission, you need a lawyer.
Since it’s a repeated pattern, what’s happening?
Best wishes,
Ben
Been suffering from it from longtime! cause I don't to quit the company! but they're friends and any way I go , I receive the same treatment!....discrimination or being treated without a voice!
I'm suing for this
How the suit is going? I am having this problem for many years. I started taking actions.
That's right girl let's us know how it went
I am as well. How did yours go?
It is so helpful to hear this information from an expert- it is so easy to suspect that all of the things you're saying are true, but it is also easy to let sweetness and hesitation take over. I feel educated and empowered. Thank you so much for creating this content, you've changed my day and hopefully my workplace.
Hi MrStarofTruth,
I can find only
your first sentence.
I’m guessing
that knowing the psychological reason won’t help you. I’m guessing the reason is that he’s a wolf
who wants to eat you.
What you
need is skill at defending yourself, at stopping wolves, before it’s too late.
You can’t
stop a hungry wolf by saying you’re a vegetarian.
Since
all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength,
courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan.
Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES
(877-828-5543).
You
can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s
the price of putting up with bullies?
Slow erosion of your soul!
Best wishes,
Ben
+Elyse Gambino
Hi Elyse,
Thank you.
And protect
yourself. There are hungry wolves out
there. And they don’t have the same
standards and values you do. They simply
want to eat you. That’s what hungry wolves
do.
What you
need is skill at defending yourself, at stopping wolves, before it’s too late.
You can’t
stop a hungry wolf by saying you’re a vegetarian.
Since
all situations are different, you need individualized help to get strength,
courage, determination and skill, and to create and carry out an effective plan.
Please, call or email me to schedule phone or Skype coaching - 1-877-8BULLIES
(877-828-5543).
You
can pay easily through major credit cards or PayPal (Ben@BulliesBeGone.com).
What’s
the price of putting up with bullies?
Slow erosion of your soul!
Best wishes,
Ben
Oh yes, they love to do that, they will stress you out to the max and then it is just a matter of time that you will make mistakes because you are stressed out. These people stop at nothing.
This is the most effective video I have actually heard on the topic. Please, do more videos and I think it would be most beneficial to talk about techniques that stop bullying.
The covert ones are more and more prevalent in today’s society.
True. These narcopaths contaminate and poison every environment they are in.
Oh thank you! This all sounds so familiar! I cried a lot too, but yes, I can always have control over myself, thank God.
Dear Ben, You are fabulous and kind....I am grateful and appreciate the way you care and share your knowledge and wisdom, so that we may free ourselves and others.
Best wishes dear fellow
I am so happy that the bullies cry.
😂
It does takes age and experience to be able to deal with or predict bullying encounters. Rather like a trained athlete, your mind has to be prepared and sharp, with a certain agility to respond to verbal attacks; the first step is to recognise the concept of bullying in the workplace, and prevent being blindsided.
Great video. I am dealing with this problem unfortunately right now until I change to a night shift. The best thing is to work alone at night with less people.
Thank you so much this is being done to me right now! This video has been a big help!
I started a new job about 4 months ago and from the first day I was made to feel unwelcome by a couple coworkers. One in particular, who would be sweet one day or moment and basty the next. I let a lot of things just roll off my back because i try not to take things personal. It got to where she aggressively got in my face about some percieved slight against her, it was out of the blue and i could not make sense out of why she was behaving in that manner to me or what i could have possibly done to set her off. I did talk to the manager, who admitted there had been problems with that employee in the past for similar behavior. Management spoke to her and she apologized the next time i saw her, although it felt forced and insincere. Shortly after she had rallied another coworker to her side, someone i had been able to talk to and never had any problems with who after would ignore or make smirks or faces whenever i came into the room. I have started to notice little things being done to mess with me...for instance my towel warmer was mysteriously turned off when i checked my room before my last client (i work in a spa) and all my towels were cold, i have found oil spilled on my floor and weird little things of that nature. I just spoke to the supervisor to let her know what i am experiencing. I don't want to make a big deal out of it or mistakenly accuse anyone of shady behavior but there are too many weird things to be a coincidence. I feel as if i am being sabotaged somehow. I have never dealt with things of this nature before. Any advice on or insight into my situation would be greatly appreciated.
Julia Groetsch holy shit. I work at a spa too part time. My covert narc colleague started stealing towels from my towel warmer! then she booked a client over my break although her job is not in admin. I just sent an email to my boss detailing these things and mentioning that it is causing delays at work, loss of productivity, unpleasant work environment. immediately deal with the problem or else it will escalate,
shebakali6 thank you, i hope that by talking to the supervisor she will be aware. I also told the manager about it. I know they are trying to get me to quit and i have no plans to. My only worry is that the management fails to support me in the situation and these 'mean girls' get away with the behavior. I can see why there is such a high turn over rate here. Worst part is that I love my job, clients and other co workers.
I also forgot to mention that four weeks later someone had my credit card information how I don't know and placed $100.00 on a Starbucks gift card. I only knew because my bank sends a fraud alert to me if they see a difference in behavior. They know at work I drink Starbucks but they don't know I don't ever put $100.00 on the card and the definition for covert bullies fit perfectly regarding the people I work with. She acts fragile and sweet and shy and innocent but behind close doors this woman is wicked and she has supporters to back her up in the behavior and they gang attack.
Omg. Thank you for advocating and helping us call out this monster.
Well said I am experiencing this exact thing
bigjam8429 you're a big guy tho
Devin Peirce yeah but it means nothing when your in a workplace
So honest and you know bullies so well!!!