When the dad said “I couldn’t have picked a better young man” it rubbed me the wrong way like legally she is a minor. Legally in some states she can’t give consent.
@@morganfalkdesigns That just makes it sound like they waited until she was just old enough not to get her husband convicted. Speaking of which, I wonder how old her husband is?
the fact that her dad couldn’t seem to take his eye off of the still quite modest aspects of the first two dresses says a lot more about him than it does about the actual dress.
I am wondering about the editing done for this video/show. I had stopped watchin these because it was shown the editing was done for shock value on another video. (One of the girls commented on here stating the facts.) My guess is dad isn't as awful as he's been made out to be, although I do agree he had too much say in which dress she got...if that's how it actually played out.
Does the young lady have any goals in life? If being a homemaker and raising babies is what she wants that is great. Otherwise it would help to have a bit more life experience to make sure she is in love.
As a religious person, I totally laughed when he said that neckline was "too low". It showed absolutely nothing. I personally think that if his daughter is old enough and mature enough to get married, then she is most certainly ready to choose her own freaking dress
exactly i’m a christian and i am pretty conservative like i don’t wear booty shorts or low cut things, no hate to anyone who does either. That dress showed absolutely NOTHING like-
So true. I was thinking about the silhouette and if the dress was "wearing" her. Sex had nothing to do with it. But it was certainly on his mind. He has the dirty mind, and he should accept that.
yes, it means he wants his daughter looking respectable and not showing her body to every man and woman that passes by. Theyre christian people, they go to church
I just did a little digging and it looks like they did not end up together. She seems like a well adjusted young woman who is now in a happy marriage with two kids. Wishing her the best!
Well mother nature says otherwise she's at child bearing age. I applaud this family, they got it right to instead of this dating which means men and boys having their way with young women and teens without serious commitment. Which ends up being single moms households. Love he had to first ask dad's permission to court and second set his intentions. Let's get back to this and protect the honor of our daughters.
This young lady is my granddaughter and she is a very stable and wonderful person. She did not get married and didn’t say yes to the dress. I was there at the filming which was nine hours long. They edited it and only showed a tiny bit of the day. Her daddy is a very good dad and he loves his children very much. She is now married to someone else and has two beautiful children and is very happy and secure.
So that Dad doesn’t want to see his daughter looking like a grown-up but he’s wanting to marry her off like a grown-up…she’s 17…she’s literally not a grown-up…
He's definitely conflicted in a lot of ways by how he views his own daughter. Fuking weird. I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to sit outside the door as they consummated their marriage. Freak.
She's made her own decisions, she asked to be married. That's a pretty huge decision. She graduated from high school early to become a college student early, she had to make this decision that can't be forced. As far as dress decisions have you ever watched this show? Because the whole point is to have help deciding on what dress suits the bride. Every single family pretty much does the same critiquing to help decide on the dress.
@@rockmemama86 hi! i just wanted to point out a couple red flags that i personally saw (coming from a 17 year old college student) so that maybe you can see our point of view on why this is so problematic. 1. being mature for your age DOES NOT MEAN being mature enough to make a decision to get married. i personally don’t agree with waiting to do most romantic things until marriage, but that’s a personal decision. that said, marriage is a long term decision that requires objective maturity and confidence to make. both of which i saw that she lacked (not a statement of judgement, but she rejected multiple dresses solely because of her father, and her dress criteria was also that which her father provided). i think the issue lies more in the father treating his young daughter who is very level headed and calm, and mistaking those traits for being mature and ready for marriage, which points out several red flags about how the father views his teenage daughter as an adult ready for the lifelong commitment that marriage ought to entail.
@@katelynsousa6591 soooooo in 5 months when she turns 18 as a legal adult it's acceptable. Or what about 19? There's been 19yr old couples. You're talking about months difference here.
@@rockmemama86 my mom got married at 19. i’m not saying it’s a specific age, but it’s a specific mindset that often comes with time. things like understanding what should and shouldn’t be tolerated comes with time. as cheesy as it sounds, you need to know yourself and understand how to express your feelings and emotions properly (as it pertains to all things, such as consent, safeguarding against potential abuse, etc.) in order to be in a truly positive relationship. these things don’t necessarily need to come with time, but they do often come with a lot of life experience, which is what makes me so worried for her in particular
The way Flo said "I think it's very sweet," after hearing all the details - she does not indeed think it is sweet. I've watched her on the show enough to know that she was lying through her teeth for the sake of the family, lmao. Monte gave this appointment life with his behind the scenes commentary, lmao.
@@Crybaby-hy3ec She had a big bright future ahead of her, but not anymore. She's marrying at 17, proberly will have kids soon. All she should've and could've had is gone. Why can't she focus on school, and still date the guy. Another 4 or 5 years down the road , will really tell ,if this relationship can work. Get her degrees, and see how their relationship stands the test of time
The dad sounds like any dad with a 17 year old daughter sorry. Especially a Christian/Catholic dad who has a daughter that is a virgin. They do have a community obviously that all raised their kids a certain way. Not looking hoeish, but conservant. Did yo hear what her fiance asked dad permission for? Come on now get over it she loves it and I am sure she been dreaming of getting marry for sometime now to him. Im jealous shes marrying her 1st love. I still wish I would have married mines but I said no because I felt like I was too young. Guess what at age 40 still haven't meet anyone that made me feel like him. Congratulations to the wonderful young couple.
@@IamAmeGreen religious people (especially Christians) tend to get married young and rush into marriage. Often it’s so they can “morally” have sex and explore their sexuality once they are married because they tend to believe sex before marriage is wrong. It could also be because they are indoctrinated to believe their lives are about having a family and spreading their religion through their children, so they get married young to get started on that conservative lifestyle they grew up being told they need to follow.
@@uninspired9451 There's more to the belief of waiting until marriage than it being "moral", but you're right when you say some sects are really Legalistic about it. I think the starting young thing is a leftover from the medieval times to be honest where women were married off very young so that they could have a lot of kids.
@@uninspired9451 I am a Christian, but I guess I must be in a completely different branch of Christianity (I know there are many different variations), and in my belief system we always emphasize spending YEARS dating a person before committing to them in marriage, and put much less emphasis on having children. Watching this 17-year-old was a shock to me! Thank you for educating me, I always try to explore my beliefs and challenge it, compare it to others to see where I truly stand and can be sure of myself.
"She's a 30 year old trapped in a 17 year old body" Which doesn't make her any less 17??? I went to college at 17 too, and if I told my parents that I wanted to get married, they would've keeled over!!
It's gross that kids aren't of legal decision making age until 18 (can't get married on their own of their own free will) but parents can sign them to be married as early as 16 even against their will 😢 That doesn't even sound logical.
So long as she doesn't go straight to a husband that is the same and she wakes up one day and realises how she doesn't have her own voice. If she is happy that way then that's great but I just hope she doesn't think life is different from what it actually ends up becoming.
THANK YOU!!! like you can see the way that she struggles with showing and holding to her opinions, the lack of confidence, all things that are typical of 17 year olds. ALL OF WHICH are red flags for marriage. as someone whos been in college since 13, things like strong faith and educational maturity aren’t things that make you ready to be wed
Yeah, she’s “not a normal 17 year old” because she’s not allowed to be a normal 17 year old. Parents like this disgust me. She needs to have her own experiences so she can make her own decisions.
This is so true. However, I see where she's coming from only because if she doesn't pick out a dress that her dad feels comfortable with her wearing he may not feel comfortable walking her down the aisle with it on her. I do feel bad that she has been so very persuaded to think the way her dad does especially even if it's modest and she is unable to think for and make that decision for herself.
@@emilykane5234 Problem is if she goes straight from a controlling father, to a husband, that really increases her chances of ending up in a controlling and abusive relationship. Things turned out fine for her (other comments said she married someone else at 19 and is now 30 with 2 kids, and still together) but everyone should have time to figure out who they are on their own before they decide to spend their life with someone else. And facts, regardless of her maturity, 17 makes it child marriage. She is not a legal adult and this can cause huge problems. A minor can’t file for a divorce because they’re not considered old enough to do it. That’s because marriage is considered a contract, and most laws stipulate that only adults can enter into contracts. So, if a minor wants to change their marriage contract, they need an adult to help them do it.
Yeah, I was thinking all the same. What a selfish and double-faced man he is. And also probably with very low self-esteem. Maybe that is why he is so despotic
@@MustardseedMomma68 It can be a good thing or it can be a toxic thing. You should be raising your child to be able to know their own mind well enough to have an opinion, and he completely eclipsed her.
@@margaretmesacortez2421 speaking from experience with conservative relatives- she may finish that college degree, but she won't do anything with it beyond being a stay-at-home mom
This is absolutely disgusting. Especially the way the father rationalizes “WeLl ShE’s NoT tHe AvErAgE 17 y/o”. Like that doesn’t make the fact that you are marrying off your CHILD any better. This is abuse.
@@cody4916 When she turns eighteen she will have more power in the eyes of the law to oppose her father. Throughout the video it feels like he's abusing his status as her father to marry her off, and while I'm no lawyer, his control over her is greater when she's under eighteen and has to defer to him when it comes to legal matters. I'm all for people who want to get married regardless of their age (of course we're not talking about two year-olds or whatever) as long as there is clear and indisputable consent from both parties.
@@becpennington7470 And if she is, that's not a good sign either as it could be adultification and there were reasons she had to mature faster rather than being able to enjoy her youth.
“She’s not the average 17 year old. She graduated HS early, & is now in college... she’s basically a 30 yo in a 17 yo body.” Say louder that “she’s mature for her age”, you creep!
The poor girl literally said she liked the second dress when it was just her and the stylist. As soon as dad opens his mouth, she won’t even voice her opinion. I really hope this girl has a happy life and marriage to HER standards.
She looked way happier in the second dress, too. In the third I think she was just happy she'd found a dress that might be okayed. Ugh, that father is so creepy.
The father says: "she's probably a 30 year old in a 17 year old's body". The sad thing is it's him and the family who are trying to make her a 30 year old in a 17 year old's body. The fact is: If she isn't old enough to look sexy then she isn't old enough to be getting married.
mature girls are mature because they've been pressured into behaving like an adult from a very young age. It's really common in eldest daughters because they become responsible for their siblings or household work really wish i had known this sooner :(
@@_nehalennia My oldest son married at 19, the youngest son is 21 and was engaged at 19 and my middle son has always been reserved and was thinking 10 yrs ahead by middle school. He is 23 and 1 month into what he says will be his career and is already checked into work paid college for company advancement and planning on retirement. No one pressured them into being mature but what they grew up seeing was long term married parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles and long term careers were the norm in our family and rules put in place to help prevent them from being derailed by a failing society.
@@MA-mh1vs of course there's people that are more responsible than others, but i was specifically talking about how girls (not women) are often raised to be adults from a very young age. and your sons are adults, i would hope that they're mature lol i hope this doesn't come off rude i'm horrible with words sorry
@@_nehalennia Yes they are adults now but they were thinking like adults and planning their future while still children. Two out of the three placed marriage and having children as their main focus by the time they were 12 and were talking about marriage, children and even taken a moral stance on infidelity. The other had made a career as his main focus by that age and was planning on college and a career by 12. The result was one being married at 19 , one engaged at 19 and the third in college at 19. That maturity continues to reflect in my 23yr old who most certainly does not fit the average maturity level of his age bracket by selecting his 'lifetime job', planning on advancement to corporate level and planning his retirement at 23. Granted most of the people in our family jumped into adulthood, marriage, children and careers at a young age. Most of the women in our family had children by 18 and the men had picked their career and were in it at 18.
I just hope the man she’s marrying has more respect for her than her dad does and let’s her be her own self. This child (yes, a minor!!) can’t seem to do anything without dads approval and is clearly very innocent, she hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. I just hope she can stand up for herself in married life and won’t get taken advantaged of.
Doubtful. I'm SURE in her church the husband/father is the boss. I guarantee control will move from Dad to pimply , clueless husband. Wow, talk about reverting to the "good old days". Sad story.
She is not a 30 year old trapped in a 17 year olds body. That’s just gross that her dad said that 🤮 She is a 17 year old thinking like a kid. I feel so bad for her. I hope she’s doing ok
Y’all are twisting his words around smh. What he means by saying that is she is really mature for her age and doesn’t party or do stuff that your typical 17 year old would do. I’m the same way. I just turned 21 a few days ago but I’ve never smoked, done drugs, drank, or gone clubbing or anything of that sort and I have no desire to. I would rather go to the movies or bowling, or literally do anything else that isn’t going to affect me mentally or health wise. I agree that the dad is being to strict with the dress, but me personally I would rather have a dad that cares too much than not at all! Also, y’all are acting like she is being forced to marry this guy! If anything, kudos to dad for letting her get married at this age! Legally, he could have said no but he allowed them to make that decision THEIRSELVES!
@@abigaylemckenzie9657 she didnt really want to get married and didnt end up married. tbe fact you dont find this a little weird is horrifiying, epseciay since youre near her age
It's pretty easy to see that she has a hard time making decisions for herself. Knowing that she's stepping into a huge decision like marriage really makes me wonder about the circumstances of it all and how happy she'll be. Much love and luck to her.
My feelings are that they're some flavor of fundamentalist Christian, based on the courtship nonsense. Someone has been following the Duggars a bit too closely!!
True... but I also would hate to to work at a shop where there are NO dresses with sleeves. Some girls WANT a conservative dress, some might want to be more covered because they are getting married in the WINTER.
@@olivergregory5093 I know.... but it made it doublly hard because they had no conservative dresses to show her. Sometimes young marriages work ok. My cousin got married at 16, and she is still married to him today, 40 years later. He's a perfectly nice man, too.
this is honestly so heartbreaking to see. her dad seems very controlling, and overall the way he's acting is completely disgusting. as someone who is very close in age with this girl, I pray she gets away from her family and creates a beautiful life for herself, without her dad.
She did! If you look at the other comments, she ended up leaving those religious teachings behind and marrying a different man when she was 19. Her instagram looks like she's happy.
Yeah she is 17 but even if she was older he honestly didn't act like a dad who's daughter was getting married. Also she really didn't honestly seem that happy she seemed like she just did anything and everything her dad told her to and I'm glad she didn't end up marrying the guy she got married to a different guy at 19 and seems much happier.
@@lindaakinbusuyi-wilson5957 this girl was abused her whole life she had to leave her famliy behind bc of the abuse shut your mouth you can tell in this video she is unhappy
And the dad has been divorced ...is that ok for this horrible man . To use god as a reason to force others to do as he pleases. My god is not the same god as his
@@lillanlofgren7424 Say it louder for the people in the back!!! These disgusting, pervy dudes who like to shame women and spout religion, are the biggest hypocrites!!! Excuse me, dad, but I thought divorce was a sin?!! Why are YOU allowed to do whatever you want, but your poor daughter has to bend to your will?? Oh right, because your so-called "religion" is actually a misogynistic cult that grooms child brides.
If her dad wasn’t there, I wonder which dress she actually would have picked. Also I have never seen a father roll through to the dress choosing/fitting unless maybe the mom is deceased. If you believe she is old enough to get married why can’t she choose whichever dress she likes best? This is just beyond crazy.
I grew up very religious, and in these sorts of cultures a woman (girl, in this case) is under her father's control/protection, and then she's given to her husband who will now control/protect her. There's no point in her life where she is her own person who makes her own decisions regardless of the men in her life.
For me, I’d want my dad there. He’s always been there for dress shopping with school dances, performance dresses, prom… to not have him there would feel like something was missing, and I wouldn’t be able to find one. I’ve gone dress shopping with friends before, but such a special day, I’d want him there. I plan on marrying a woman, so if he has to come to terms with who he’s walking me down the aisle towards, might as well like what I’m walking down the aisle wearing 😜
when the dad said "it draws attention right where it doesn't need to draw attention" im like WHY TF ARE U EVEN LOOKING THERE? am i the only one who's getting creepy vibes from him?!
Van , I echo your sentiments 100% She will have a baby a year ! These people don’t believe in birth control . She still has braces on her teeth , the step mother and biological mother said absolutely nothing about anything . The dad must be king in that household . Sounds like they are Mormon’s .. yikes she will be worn out before she is 30 .
"We met at church" That told me everything about these people that I need to know. This video left me absolutely speechless and is making me sick to my stomach. This poor child literally being dealt like a piece of property in 2023. 😢🤦😮🤮
This was in 2008 they didn’t get married but she did end up getting married and I was her flower girl I’m her cousin and she is now happily married with 2 kids
I was literally thinking that about the dad the whole time, just odd things he was saying about her and how she had to dress just made him seem very....Creepy...
"She graduated high school early, she's a college student now" Oh ho, buddy, that doesn't make her more mature. I graduated highschool when I was 16. The only thing that did was isolate me from my age group, force me to make choices about my future too early when I didn't have the experience for it, make me insecure about those decisions and immature compared my much older classmates, and made me tie all of my self worth to my grades and academic success. Being 'advanced' academically does NOT make you more mature
Thank you! x2, as a 16-year-old graduate and a now 17-year-old college freshman. Plus, I can almost guarantee that’s she’s far more sheltered and naive than most 17-year-olds anyway because of her upbringing.
I know someone who graduated with high academic graded at 16. She went on to college. Still honors plus. Worked to pay her way. Masters in teaching. Never married. A few boy friends. Adopted a child. Academic high achiever in every at every angle. 50 now. Yo.not me. I'm average. But that would have been nicer be that smart. That young lady in the video probably needs to "mature ore before she says I do.but we don't know her life story.
as a 16 year old graduate- yup. i feel so comfortable making life decisions related to academics, but i know no one my age and have barely communicated with anyone in the past few years. i can decide what to do about college. that’s 4 years of my life. i cannot decide to dedicate my entire person to another being for the rest of our lives. or, in this girl’s case, 2 beings. thanks, dad!
I graduated at 16 but I never had any problems with confidence. It out me in a place where I could start getting on with life outside of school while still being under the wing of my parents. Then when I was older and actually HAD to function as an adult I was very ready for it. Honestly one of my best life choices
God I feel you, didn't graduate early but went to a prestigious school for intelligent fellas on a scholarship. You had to pass two difficult tests to get in. By some kind of luck I did. Not the best choice for an ADHD person
Yall are not gonna believe this but i know that guy. The whole situation was fucked up and they never ended up getting married. She ended up cheating on him and broke his heart, both came from not so great houses and kinda just wanted to escape together. But he is happily married now and had a cute dog and new baby 😊
She's young, yes. But I don't think it's actually outrageous. My mom was married at 17. Back in the 50's. It's just much less common to marry that young now.
Yall didn't watch this episode and it shows 🥴 she wants to get married! Get ya facts right and not one word that came out of his mouth said "I dont want her to look like a woman"
Since the episode premiered, Kara is now happily married. However, it's important to note that she is not married to her original courter. Kara has since gotten married to a man named Nate Hogg, taken his last name, and they have two young kids. The family currently lives in Georgia, where Kara serves as a partner relations manager at Reclamation Roasters and director of operations at AWAKE Communities Int.
She's 17. The dad claiming that she's "A 30 year old trapped in a 17 year old's body" doesn't change the fact that this bride hasn't seen but 17 years on this Earth. What's the rush? Why not have her "court" for a few more years (because we all know they are going on chaperoned dates) and finish college? Dad is trying to make sure she doesn't get out into the real world and escape the religion.
I was thinking the same. He doesn't want her going to college because he is scared she will like being on her own. I bet he chose that boy cause he is just like him. Scary.
I hope this will be a successful marriage but my guess is she will not go to college. She will be pregnant within a month. Wonder if they are going to live with dear old Dad?
19's still so young. I have a feeling either this chick is going to be stuck in a very questionable marriage until she learn show to be her own person, or she'll be drowned in religious dogma for the rest of her natural life.
If her dad is still dictating what she gets to wear (the fact that he's looking at her body at all like that makes me uncomfortable), she's probably way too young to get married. Hope it works out, and I hope her future husband doesn't turn into a controlling person
She has been trained to obey her father and will fall into the pattern of following her husband's lead. She has no voice, no opinions, no anger, no bitterness yet. That will come later in life and her husband will be the first victim.
Mothers are not involved in how the bulge of her son looks like on his wedding day , she respectfully lets him shine in his own body and sexuality with autonomy while being very proud of that. This is the minimum men should give women back . The mom and family is now obsessed about the sons bulge and mountain is looking in his trousers. This is super creepy
I got married at 18 but that was all my decision - parents actually tried their best to prevent it, probably tried too hard I'd say looking back which is likely exactly why it happened! This episode was very odd that it was the father's idea and the daughter just going along.
@@roxannesharbono994 Regardless, you have to be 21 in the US to buy alcohol and tobacco products, so 18 is sure as hell not old enough to get married. At 17/18, Americans are just leaving high school and maybe starting college. Just because it's not illegal doesn't mean it's right.
As someone who grew up in Utah, this is actually something I've seen way too much. As a church leader I pissed off a whole gaggle of Karen's because when I was made the youth leader over the teenage girls I shut down a years long tradition of taking the 16 year old girls to try on "modest" wedding dresses. I got together a panel of educated women and had a career night instead.
@@BettyLucille it's not a church doctrine, it's just a cultural or social thing. I didn't get married until I was 28, and I was a huge outlier. It's just sort of ingrained that you graduate high school, and get married at 19 when your missionary comes home and he's 21. Live in poverty while you put him through school, and pump out a few babies. Give up your hopes and dreams before you're even 25. That wasn't for me, and I wanted more for my girls.
She is not the only bride whose parents has the most say! It has much older brides than her who has no say at all! Just wish the young lady the best. Everyone has their values. Not everyone wants their children sleeping around!
@@lynettephillip2412 Yeah. It's not good to go from person to person either. I think that the only concern is if she is forced. She do need to be able to live her on life, and make her own decisions. Parents are not to be demanding, controlling, or manipulative towards their children either. Be and stay blessed in Jesus name. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen. God love and cares for you, and so do I. 💜💜💜
@@ladennayoung2939 I don't think that she was forced. The father just wanted certain behavior. I don't believe in controlling anyone, but God expect certain behavior from his people! I came to the chat to read what people has to say. It was not very nice. Nobody try to wish them well. Sad! Society is so influence by Hollywood's standard, anything else is seen as not normal.
Teendom is a time a parent should be encouraging their child to discover their autonomy, finding out who they are and who they want to be, separate from anyone else, especially their parents. Unfortunately this isn't what's happening here. If she can get married but isn't allowed to pick her own dress....it makes me wonder what else he has control over or _will_ have control over. This sweet young lady needs to read the Boundaries book ❤ It will help!
Mothers are not involved in how the bulge of her son looks like on his wedding day , she respectfully lets him shine in his own body and sexuality with autonomy while being very proud of that. This is the minimum men should give women back . The mom and family is now obsessed about the sons bulge and mountain is looking in his trousers. This is super creepy
Alright, it's finally happened. There is finally an episode of Say Yes to the Dress that is too cringey for me to watch. I cannot believe we are watching a literal child bride select a gown. I have no words.
Why do you think it should be normal that a father should Not be distracted by his Daughter's uncovered body? You might want to rethink what you wrote.
@@gcromer903 why is he looking? Why is he “courting” off his 17 year old? It’s written all over his face. It’s it not an “I’m uncomfortable because you’re growing up” it’s an “I’m uncomfortable because I cant keep my eyes off you”
Ngl but dad's like that just shouldn't have kids. this girl is heavily dictated in her life, I feel sorry for her. I hope her husband doesn't think he can do the same.
I bet he does, though. Remember, he happily put up with all of daddy's rules. Chances are, he views the whole thing as paying his dues so he can earn his own little dictatorship.
He absolutely will, it's part of the cult. As her 'headship' he will all but own her. Where she goes, what she wears, who she socializes with, all of that will be decided by her husband. She will not continue her education and will likely already have given birth to their first child by their first wedding anniversary. The lives of girls and women in these fundamentalist sects are really sad.
I'm an example of this same exact thing. Courted, parents highly involved, mom designed my wedding and my husband was an abuser who wanted total control of me.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one concerned about this situation. But can we also address how the father sexualized his daughter this entire appointment 🤢 There wasn’t a thing revealing about the first two dresses at all. Gosh, this situation is sketchy asl, especially since we weren’t even told the age of the groom😕
I was engaged at 18 and married at 19. My husband was 20 when we got married. We celebrated 22 years of marriage in June. But our relationship was and is on our own terms and my gown was certainly on MY terms. To ensure this wasn't an issue, I paid for my own dress and my husband and I paid for the wedding entirely by working full time to cover it. But we recognize this isn't for everyone, nor should it be. It's incredibly weird and creepy that this girl's dad compared her to a 30 year old but exerted control over her body and the wedding dress she chose. I hope her husband isn't the same way and that she has learned that her body is under her control only.
That's the thing though.. on your own terms. If you choose it, do whatever you wants. I get the feeling that this girls doesn't even want to get married and it's being forced on her because her dad wants it. Like she's just repeating a script for the camera, but doesn't feel it.
Mothers are not involved in how the bulge of her son looks like on his wedding day , she respectfully lets him shine in his own body and sexuality with autonomy while being very proud of that. This is the minimum men should give women back . The mom and family is now obsessed about the sons bulge and mountain is looking in his trousers. This is super creepy
@@rebeccaqueen1542 It's either she didn't want to get married or she really has no clue what it's like to make decisions without involving her father. Makes me think of the idea of "courtship" in some Christian circles where the father is HEAVILY involved in the relationship. It's incredibly intrusive and ultimately treats the woman like she's property first owned by the father and then transferred to the husband on the wedding day. So gross.
I’m actually sickened by this. She’s not allowed to pick out her own wedding dress, but she’s allowed to get married?!? This is way too young !!! She needs to be picking out a prom dress! This is wrong on so many levels! I personally couldn’t help this family. Disturbing is an understatement!!!!
This is painful for me to watch. I myself was married at 17 ( been married to my husband for 52 years now). I know the difficult road this young girl is going to be on and she will be lucky to survive it. This father should be put in jail for allowing his daughter to get married. She can not get married without parental permission at this age. Sorry dad she is 17 and a minor and a child. Regardless if she is in college . Please please some real adult with common sense please step in and be an advocate for this child! I wish someone had done that for me. There should laws across the entire United States that no one under the age of 21 is allowed to get married period. The laws need to be changed. These archaic laws put young girls in danger both physically, mentally and, financially. ( I include boys in this too)
This is just plain wrong. Her Dad is totally in control of everything, treating her like his property, marrying her off to someone she's not even kissed and is so young himself. I'm a Christian but can't endorse this complete paranoia about sexuality that stops a young person becoming independent, and fully who *they* are. Texas is a scary place. Monte is spot on.
@@Clover-wg5xx you probably can go and stay in hospital alone, but you are not allowed to leave alone. Happend too me at 16. They released me, kicked me out of my room, but than wouldn't allow me to go home. I had to wait all day because my mother had to work. - I live in Germany
Big facts my ass feels awkward going doctor appointments without my mum and I’m 20😂 then again I see girls with families at this age I must be slow 😫😫😫
@@strangeanimations588 whether people like it or not, purity culture and arranged religious marriage is cult activity. Her father dictates who she marries, what she wears, when she loses her virginity, when she has her first kiss, pretty much everything. I suggest doing some research into religious cults and you’ll see a lot of similarities to what’s going on in this episode.
@@BettyLucille He didn't choose her fiancé. What he said was that he couldn't have chosen a better one, as in she found him and there was no one better for her.
How is this even legal! She is still a kid who is very influenced by her dad , doesnt seem like shes mature enough to take her own decisions judging by her opinions that changes according to the dads view...
@@gailowens1925 in my opinion even if she wants she shouldnt be allowed , her and the groom are still young and devolping their personalties so this marriage is not gonna stay the same for long..
@@gailowens1925 Ma'am.....yikes, you must not have children. As a parent, it's your job to PROTECT your children from making bad decisions, like getting married too soon. Even if this child genuinely wants to get married (she doesn't, her father has brainwashed her), she's too young to understand the consequences of her choices and she needs guidance from older people. So sad that she is being exploited, as opposed to being protected.
@@MalloryNewcomb her mother and her father are divorced. His “wife” is her step mother, not her mother. So her mom didn’t get a say in these rules, just dad and his wife
I feel the same way. He implies that he views her sexually multiple times and it made me nauseated. She's a minor and his kid. I was looking at the mom like please say anything.
There are still states in the US that allow child marriage, and extremely fundamentalist Christian’s like this family seem to be obsessed with marrying their daughters off as young as possible. Disgusting and horrible.
Legally you can't anymore. In the 70s and 80s your parents could sign for you to get married. BUT that became illegal because kids were being forced to marry someone they didn't want to. Now the minor must become Emancipated first. The minor will apply to become Emancipated and the parent will have the option whether or not to contest that Emancipation. If the parent does not contest it, that minor becomes a legal adult - fully legal in the eyes of the USA. Then the "adult" must go back to the courthouse (on a later date) and apply for a marriage license. Then SHE signs the Marriage Certificate. Because Minors aren't allowed to sign legal forms. So her Dad is not doing anything. The girl is making her own choices to do this. It's not the Dad. It's all up to her.
That’s what I was thinking- I understand the conservative viewpoint (and wish it wasn’t so demonized in these comments) but she does seem to have trouble making decisions for herself. That being said- I’ve only ever seen six minutes of her life and she might be in a wonderful, happy marriage right now.
The dad said his daughter is like a 30-yr old but the way she unfortunately only decided on her father’s opinion tells me she is a normal 17yr old. I don’t even understand why this wedding has to take place.
This. A 30-year old would have enough personality and personhood in order to make her own choices. Of course, some women still look to their parents for approval, but a real adult would have a clear vision for her own wedding ABD fight for it in front of her parents. This girl is terribly not either. Hopefully she will learn to have opinions of her own without her dad and future husband.
@@jodievukmir3187 I'm a Latter-day Saint or "Mormon" as we are sometimes called. I can assure you, we don't arrange marriages, nor do we encourage marriage at this young of an age. Also, if she were a member of our faith, she'd probably be getting married in the temple, so her shoulders would have to be covered.
@@jodievukmir3187 It's highly unlikely she's LDS. I'd put money on the family belonging to one of the many independent fundamentalist Protestant sects like IBLP.
Her Dad saying that she is practically a “30 year old trapped in her body.” Then let her make her own decisions to pick and choose her own dress?! The whole time he’s just shaming her and it’s disgusting to see
I'm Muslim and my dad is very strict too when it comes to modest clothing (it took me a while to get him used to ripped jeans). We went dress shopping for my school graduation in 2018 and even he realized that a knee length dress was the most flattering to me and he agreed to it without whining. This dad was so so creepy.
Oh hell i am Muslim too And my parents never allowed me to choose any dress I have to cover myself completely no matter what I can't wear jeans or anything tight sadly I won't be allowed to marry the person i want because everything is imposed on me by them
What I don't understand if the man is really into modesty which we all know spiritually is not just about clothing, right? Why is it OK that her shoulders and arms are uncovered? Instead the man is just concentrating on one area, just saying.....
I can tell there's like a progressive thoughtful girl just waiting to burst out in there. I just hope Kara is out there living her best life these days free from these weird dynamics.
What do u mean in a sexual way??...U CANT FREAKING SEE THAT i don't know what to think no more...I've been brainwashed to think that this look is normal here
Exactly. HE is looking at these features. He is seeing her as a sex object, and the rest of us are looking at her as a bride. Most of us don't need to have fabric covering her in order to contain our "sinful" thoughts. Maybe he is the one with the sinful thoughts.
He DOES see her as his property. She's not allowed to have her own mind or make her own decisions. She may as well be a decorative lamp he's picking out a new shade for.
@@GoodnightJLH Because (usually) in this type of religious background, Dad is the "head" and "leader" of the family- so Dad's word is law simply because he's a man.
@@starzzzy22 I have been around many patriarchal families. And I’ve never seen one where the wife and ex wife get zero input on attire for the daughter. I’m certainly aware that such a man could veto any dress that he found too revealing. But no opinion at all is just plain creepy. I just hope this child isn’t marrying a boy who is like her father.
I'm not judging her, she's sweet, but if she can't even make a decision over a wedding dress without her dad's approval, how on earth is she going to be making decisions with her life as a wife. Is she going to have to turn to her new husband before she does anything? I fear she's never going to be her own person. I really hope I'm wrong and marriage will turn out to be the push she needs to stand up for herself with her husband by her side. To clarify, a lot of brides wish for their parent's to like the dresses too, but in this case, it seemed a lot more about control.
The point is, probably in her kind of church/cult she has anyway no right to decide anything for herself besides the colours of the bedsheets, curtains and what to cook tomorrow...
@@gailowens1925 , and that is good and nice! The problem here is IMHO that this young woman seems to be not even feeling exactly what she herself wants, likes, feels. Did you all see her face, her micro-expressions at some points in the video? Her smile wasn't happy but confused...
That's arguably the point with these abusive cultish upbringings. They don't want the daughters to be their own person or have different opinions. It makes them the perfect victims for future abuse and manipulation because they are easy to gaslight and control.
I don't want to be disrespectful to their religious beliefs, however, it has been proven that the frontal cortex of the brain (in charge of rational decisions) is not fully developed until 25. To not only allow, but encourage, a girl this young to get married, feels too much like an unnecessary risk. But I hope she is still happy!
I wouldn't want my child getting married at 17, but not everyone is going to wait until they're 25, 27, 29, etc. I got married at 20, and we're still very happily married many years later. It all depends on the person and the situation.
How wonderful! I love to see young couples who are willing to go through as much life together as they can. The younger you are when married, the more you're able to grow together. I'm very happy her family is supportive.
The family went beyond being supportive. The dad said he picked her fiancé. Red flag #1. That may work in fiction and a long time ago, but these days, in the West, the person should pick their own spouse, not anybody else. She's 17, and in most states, including Texas, where she lived at the time of this episode, the age of consent is 18. She should not be getting married and the dad's logic is backwards. She's old enough that she can get married, but she can't have her own preferences in wedding dresses let alone kiss her fiancé until they're married? Red flag #2. And I'm Catholic even.
Hahhha they’re divorced. Children should be getting married, and her FATHER has no right telling her what dress she should wear, especially calling attention to everything he finds sexy. Sick culty nonsense.
I can't finish this episode. I am horrified. That dad treating his daughter's body like his own personal property, and a child getting married just so she can finally have her first kiss... Absolutely disgusting and heartbreaking. I hope the marriage is short-lived for her sake and her husband's. They need to leave this cult and go experience life. Both the girl and boy have had it drilled into their heads that men own women and can buy and sell them. They won't get deprogrammed as long as they're together.
When the dad said “I couldn’t have picked a better young man” it rubbed me the wrong way like legally she is a minor. Legally in some states she can’t give consent.
And I'm sure it was indeed dad, doing the picking!
Statutory rape applies at under 16. In every state, to marry without parental consent, you must be 18, except Nebraska (19).
17 , oh no. To have you given away to a man of his choosing is disgusting.
This is sooo uncomfortable to watch! It's horrifying to see the father's control.
@@morganfalkdesigns That just makes it sound like they waited until she was just old enough not to get her husband convicted. Speaking of which, I wonder how old her husband is?
You can tell Monte just hates this whole situation, and I love him so much for it.
who wouldnt?????
Yes it was so uncomfortable to watch
I mean her voice, her face, her braces….she’s a friggin kid. That “dad” is insane.
And creepy
My thoughts exactly 💯
Yesss!! Very insane.
This is the religious side of dark stuff.
Yes! This is NUTS!
“I couldn’t have picked a better young man, for Kara.” Yeeeeeaah, that said everything I needed to know.
and also then immediately follows up :"in courting essentially He dates the whole family" Gross
the fact that her dad couldn’t seem to take his eye off of the still quite modest aspects of the first two dresses says a lot more about him than it does about the actual dress.
Omigod I was thinking the same thing.
That was very creepy.
sexualizing his own daughter. i wanna vomit.
@@Random-dc7qj j
@@crazeecatlady9457 me too
The women say nothing.... that's is shocking. They are letting this vile little man dictate this poor girl's life.
He probably dictates all their lives.
This is where the word patriarchy comes from. Extremist evangelicals imposing it on all the females in their family. Toxic.
I am wondering about the editing done for this video/show. I had stopped watchin these because it was shown the editing was done for shock value on another video. (One of the girls commented on here stating the facts.) My guess is dad isn't as awful as he's been made out to be, although I do agree he had too much say in which dress she got...if that's how it actually played out.
This show is 80% staged. Chill.
@@leahstewart6979 yes, you nailed it.
Her family has to approve of what she wears but she's mature enough to get married??? What in the flawed logic!
Well the husband will be there to take charge obviously 🙄😵
Exactly what I said
Does the young lady have any goals in life? If being a homemaker and raising babies is what she wants that is great. Otherwise it would help to have a bit more life experience to make sure she is in love.
EXACTLY
I'm going to add: that damn sure was one ugly looking entourage.
As a religious person, I totally laughed when he said that neckline was "too low". It showed absolutely nothing. I personally think that if his daughter is old enough and mature enough to get married, then she is most certainly ready to choose her own freaking dress
I am definitely not a religious person but I share entirely your opinion! The father is creepy!
exactly i’m a christian and i am pretty conservative like i don’t wear booty shorts or low cut things, no hate to anyone who does either. That dress showed absolutely NOTHING like-
And…she’s not dressing to impress her dad. It should be for her husband.
The fact that the father said the neckline of the first dress was too "deep" and "distracting" says a lot about his mentality
So true. I was thinking about the silhouette and if the dress was "wearing" her. Sex had nothing to do with it. But it was certainly on his mind. He has the dirty mind, and he should accept that.
yes, it means he wants his daughter looking respectable and not showing her body to every man and woman that passes by. Theyre christian people, they go to church
@@jenniferrodriguez1351 they are sexist, plain and simple. Many people manage to go to church without restricting a woman's freedom.
@@jenniferrodriguez1351
He wants evryone under his thumb and uses pseudo-religiosity to justify his abusive behavier.
That's what its about!
He was the only person obsessed with objectifying his own daughter. It's disgusting
I just did a little digging and it looks like they did not end up together. She seems like a well adjusted young woman who is now in a happy marriage with two kids. Wishing her the best!
Omg
Can I read about it somewhere?
She did get married at 19 though so still pretty young, but they seem happy together ☺️
This is the comment I was looking for 😪 phew
Thank goodness for that.
"She's getting a marriage license? She doesn't even look old enough to get a driver's license!"
This is why I love Monte.
but it´s Monty
@@black-honey6567 Ah crap I'm getting my names confused-😭
@@jamie.lynn004 🤚🤚💀
Right! She looks 14 at least!
Well mother nature says otherwise she's at child bearing age. I applaud this family, they got it right to instead of this dating which means men and boys having their way with young women and teens without serious commitment. Which ends up being single moms households. Love he had to first ask dad's permission to court and second set his intentions. Let's get back to this and protect the honor of our daughters.
Not a chance this marriage won’t end in domestic abuse. This dad is disgusting and has ruined that poor girl.
I heard she never married the fiancé and broke away from the family hopefully that’s true
This young lady is my granddaughter and she is a very stable and wonderful person. She did not get married and didn’t say yes to the dress. I was there at the filming which was nine hours long. They edited it and only showed a tiny bit of the day. Her daddy is a very good dad and he loves his children very much. She is now married to someone else and has two beautiful children and is very happy and secure.
@@upcycleannie don’t believe her, in another comment she said that she was the cousin so she’s spreading lies in lieslie Richmond’s comment
@@Luna83644 actually me and my grandma share a account so yeah
@@upcycleannie if this is true, I’m glad.
So that Dad doesn’t want to see his daughter looking like a grown-up but he’s wanting to marry her off like a grown-up…she’s 17…she’s literally not a grown-up…
PRECISELY
He's definitely conflicted in a lot of ways by how he views his own daughter. Fuking weird. I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to sit outside the door as they consummated their marriage. Freak.
Lol pretty much
ugh. just looked up legal age for marrying in TX. Good luck to everybody.
And how do you determine a female to be grown-up? What's your criteria, lady?
the fact no one besides the dad had anything to say is very telling
O hell yeah
He is so off
I’m going to guess they are IFB.
"She's probably a 30 yo trapped in a 17 year old's body"
THEN WHY DO YOU NOT LET HER MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS.
She's made her own decisions, she asked to be married. That's a pretty huge decision. She graduated from high school early to become a college student early, she had to make this decision that can't be forced. As far as dress decisions have you ever watched this show? Because the whole point is to have help deciding on what dress suits the bride. Every single family pretty much does the same critiquing to help decide on the dress.
@@rockmemama86 hi! i just wanted to point out a couple red flags that i personally saw (coming from a 17 year old college student) so that maybe you can see our point of view on why this is so problematic. 1. being mature for your age DOES NOT MEAN being mature enough to make a decision to get married. i personally don’t agree with waiting to do most romantic things until marriage, but that’s a personal decision. that said, marriage is a long term decision that requires objective maturity and confidence to make. both of which i saw that she lacked (not a statement of judgement, but she rejected multiple dresses solely because of her father, and her dress criteria was also that which her father provided). i think the issue lies more in the father treating his young daughter who is very level headed and calm, and mistaking those traits for being mature and ready for marriage, which points out several red flags about how the father views his teenage daughter as an adult ready for the lifelong commitment that marriage ought to entail.
@@katelynsousa6591 soooooo in 5 months when she turns 18 as a legal adult it's acceptable. Or what about 19? There's been 19yr old couples. You're talking about months difference here.
@@rockmemama86 my mom got married at 19. i’m not saying it’s a specific age, but it’s a specific mindset that often comes with time. things like understanding what should and shouldn’t be tolerated comes with time. as cheesy as it sounds, you need to know yourself and understand how to express your feelings and emotions properly (as it pertains to all things, such as consent, safeguarding against potential abuse, etc.) in order to be in a truly positive relationship. these things don’t necessarily need to come with time, but they do often come with a lot of life experience, which is what makes me so worried for her in particular
@@katelynsousa6591 Beautifully said
The way Flo said "I think it's very sweet," after hearing all the details - she does not indeed think it is sweet. I've watched her on the show enough to know that she was lying through her teeth for the sake of the family, lmao. Monte gave this appointment life with his behind the scenes commentary, lmao.
"She graduated early and is now in college" THEN LET HER FOCUS ON HER STUDIES. SHE'S 17.
Exactly, "she's like a 30 year old trapped in a 17 year old body" but you treat her like she 12...
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with graduating early if the person wants to, as long as they were not forced to
Agree she has a big and bright future
@@jaqchen1016 she looks 12
@@Crybaby-hy3ec She had a big bright future ahead of her, but not anymore. She's marrying at 17, proberly will have kids soon. All she should've and could've had is gone. Why can't she focus on school, and still date the guy. Another 4 or 5 years down the road , will really tell ,if this relationship can work. Get her degrees, and see how their relationship stands the test of time
She's not allowed to pick her own dress, but she's allowed to get married?!
The dad sounds controlling
That dad sounds creepy.
The dad sounds like any dad with a 17 year old daughter sorry. Especially a Christian/Catholic dad who has a daughter that is a virgin. They do have a community obviously that all raised their kids a certain way. Not looking hoeish, but conservant. Did yo hear what her fiance asked dad permission for? Come on now get over it she loves it and I am sure she been dreaming of getting marry for sometime now to him. Im jealous shes marrying her 1st love. I still wish I would have married mines but I said no because I felt like I was too young. Guess what at age 40 still haven't meet anyone that made me feel like him. Congratulations to the wonderful young couple.
@@scifluxaurora1806 🤨
@@mohannahasfitch-pennybaker2762 no he doesn’t
“We met at church” was all the context I needed to understand why she’s getting married so young lmaooo
I don't understand. Could you explain it?
@@IamAmeGreen religious people (especially Christians) tend to get married young and rush into marriage. Often it’s so they can “morally” have sex and explore their sexuality once they are married because they tend to believe sex before marriage is wrong. It could also be because they are indoctrinated to believe their lives are about having a family and spreading their religion through their children, so they get married young to get started on that conservative lifestyle they grew up being told they need to follow.
@@uninspired9451 There's more to the belief of waiting until marriage than it being "moral", but you're right when you say some sects are really Legalistic about it. I think the starting young thing is a leftover from the medieval times to be honest where women were married off very young so that they could have a lot of kids.
@@uninspired9451 Thank you so much!
@@uninspired9451 I am a Christian, but I guess I must be in a completely different branch of Christianity (I know there are many different variations), and in my belief system we always emphasize spending YEARS dating a person before committing to them in marriage, and put much less emphasis on having children. Watching this 17-year-old was a shock to me! Thank you for educating me, I always try to explore my beliefs and challenge it, compare it to others to see where I truly stand and can be sure of myself.
"She's a 30 year old trapped in a 17 year old body" Which doesn't make her any less 17??? I went to college at 17 too, and if I told my parents that I wanted to get married, they would've keeled over!!
So we all agree, the arranged marriage thing by dad at the age of 17 is just plain wrong and should be illegal.
Its actually illegal in India🤷..the marriagable age for women is 18,
& Men is 21
Edit- the marriagable age for girls is changed to 21
it is
I agree 100% like I just turned 18 and if my parents found out I was getting married they’d probably kill me
And TLC is disgusting for giving a platform to such people
It's gross that kids aren't of legal decision making age until 18 (can't get married on their own of their own free will) but parents can sign them to be married as early as 16 even against their will 😢 That doesn't even sound logical.
The teenager still didn’t experience the, “Say Yes to the Dress”, it was the father who got to say it. How sad.
So long as she doesn't go straight to a husband that is the same and she wakes up one day and realises how she doesn't have her own voice.
If she is happy that way then that's great but I just hope she doesn't think life is different from what it actually ends up becoming.
"She's like a 30-year-old in a 17-year-old's body." Uhh no she's a 17-year-old in a 17-year-old's body. The dad's a creep.
Thank you
THANK YOU!!! like you can see the way that she struggles with showing and holding to her opinions, the lack of confidence, all things that are typical of 17 year olds. ALL OF WHICH are red flags for marriage. as someone whos been in college since 13, things like strong faith and educational maturity aren’t things that make you ready to be wed
Dad shouldn't be there
This is creepy!!
Yup.
Dad has the look of a preacher who goes to jail for life for doing unspeakable things to children. "She's a 30 year trapped in a 17 year old's body"
Very well said 👍🏼
Yeah, she’s “not a normal 17 year old” because she’s not allowed to be a normal 17 year old. Parents like this disgust me. She needs to have her own experiences so she can make her own decisions.
This is so true. However, I see where she's coming from only because if she doesn't pick out a dress that her dad feels comfortable with her wearing he may not feel comfortable walking her down the aisle with it on her. I do feel bad that she has been so very persuaded to think the way her dad does especially even if it's modest and she is unable
to think for and make that decision for herself.
@@emilykane5234 Problem is if she goes straight from a controlling father, to a husband, that really increases her chances of ending up in a controlling and abusive relationship. Things turned out fine for her (other comments said she married someone else at 19 and is now 30 with 2 kids, and still together) but everyone should have time to figure out who they are on their own before they decide to spend their life with someone else. And facts, regardless of her maturity, 17 makes it child marriage. She is not a legal adult and this can cause huge problems. A minor can’t file for a divorce because they’re not considered old enough to do it. That’s because marriage is considered a contract, and most laws stipulate that only adults can enter into contracts. So, if a minor wants to change their marriage contract, they need an adult to help them do it.
Tbh it seems to me that the bio mom doesn’t get much of a say.
Purity culture is so incredibly toxic.
That’s a parent like this worst nightmare
The dad won’t let his daughter have a tiny dip in her wedding dress, for religious reasons, but he’s divorced. What a hypocrite.
Hahaha.
Yeah, I was thinking all the same. What a selfish and double-faced man he is. And also probably with very low self-esteem. Maybe that is why he is so despotic
FR
Not so sure he is divorced from the mom..... he could have a second wife.... as that is "cult" vibe he is putting off.
Period
"Cara is heavily influenced by her dad's values." - Flo; who says it so much nicer than I can.
Is that so wrong? Who isn't influenced by their Dad?
He is VERY controlling! This child does NOT KNOW who SHE IS! Sad . . .
@@MustardseedMomma68 It can be a good thing or it can be a toxic thing. You should be raising your child to be able to know their own mind well enough to have an opinion, and he completely eclipsed her.
She will never finish her "college". She will be a baby making machine.
@@margaretmesacortez2421 speaking from experience with conservative relatives- she may finish that college degree, but she won't do anything with it beyond being a stay-at-home mom
I’m sick to my stomach. This father should be ashamed of himself. If he doesn’t want her to look like a grown woman, why is he marrying her off?
Everyone in this shop is like honey if you're being forced blink twice!!!
🤣🤣🙈 that's the vibe it's giving right?😋
oh my god fr
I laughed way too much at this
🤣
I’m sure she’s not being forced. Lots of 17 year olds want to get married and feel ready. Whether they’re right or not 🤷🏼♀️
This is absolutely disgusting. Especially the way the father rationalizes “WeLl ShE’s NoT tHe AvErAgE 17 y/o”. Like that doesn’t make the fact that you are marrying off your CHILD any better. This is abuse.
So when she turns 18 it becomes perfectly fine and not disgusting?
@@cody4916 When she turns eighteen she will have more power in the eyes of the law to oppose her father. Throughout the video it feels like he's abusing his status as her father to marry her off, and while I'm no lawyer, his control over her is greater when she's under eighteen and has to defer to him when it comes to legal matters. I'm all for people who want to get married regardless of their age (of course we're not talking about two year-olds or whatever) as long as there is clear and indisputable consent from both parties.
She doesn't strike me as any more mature than other 17 year olds, either.
@@becpennington7470 And if she is, that's not a good sign either as it could be adultification and there were reasons she had to mature faster rather than being able to enjoy her youth.
“She’s not the average 17 year old. She graduated HS early, & is now in college... she’s basically a 30 yo in a 17 yo body.” Say louder that “she’s mature for her age”, you creep!
The poor girl literally said she liked the second dress when it was just her and the stylist. As soon as dad opens his mouth, she won’t even voice her opinion. I really hope this girl has a happy life and marriage to HER standards.
Found her Instagram. She definitely broke out of all that and married someone else
She has no standards of her own dear... Not yet mature enough
@@breerea9928 what's her username
She looked way happier in the second dress, too. In the third I think she was just happy she'd found a dress that might be okayed. Ugh, that father is so creepy.
@@amug3536 Children and teenagers can have their own opinions. I'm not sure why you think they can't
The father says: "she's probably a 30 year old in a 17 year old's body". The sad thing is it's him and the family who are trying to make her a 30 year old in a 17 year old's body. The fact is: If she isn't old enough to look sexy then she isn't old enough to be getting married.
“A 17-year-old trapped in a 30-year-old body.” That’s abuse right there. Someone please alert a safeguarding team.
mature girls are mature because they've been pressured into behaving like an adult from a very young age. It's really common in eldest daughters because they become responsible for their siblings or household work
really wish i had known this sooner :(
It was the other way around, but still, she's a 17 yr old in a 17 yr old body. The dad has some odd thoughts to say the least.
@@_nehalennia My oldest son married at 19, the youngest son is 21 and was engaged at 19 and my middle son has always been reserved and was thinking 10 yrs ahead by middle school. He is 23 and 1 month into what he says will be his career and is already checked into work paid college for company advancement and planning on retirement.
No one pressured them into being mature but what they grew up seeing was long term married parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles and long term careers were the norm in our family and rules put in place to help prevent them from being derailed by a failing society.
@@MA-mh1vs of course there's people that are more responsible than others, but i was specifically talking about how girls (not women) are often raised to be adults from a very young age.
and your sons are adults, i would hope that they're mature lol
i hope this doesn't come off rude i'm horrible with words sorry
@@_nehalennia Yes they are adults now but they were thinking like adults and planning their future while still children. Two out of the three placed marriage and having children as their main focus by the time they were 12 and were talking about marriage, children and even taken a moral stance on infidelity. The other had made a career as his main focus by that age and was planning on college and a career by 12. The result was one being married at 19 , one engaged at 19 and the third in college at 19. That maturity continues to reflect in my 23yr old who most certainly does not fit the average maturity level of his age bracket by selecting his 'lifetime job', planning on advancement to corporate level and planning his retirement at 23.
Granted most of the people in our family jumped into adulthood, marriage, children and careers at a young age.
Most of the women in our family had children by 18 and the men had picked their career and were in it at 18.
I just hope the man she’s marrying has more respect for her than her dad does and let’s her be her own self. This child (yes, a minor!!) can’t seem to do anything without dads approval and is clearly very innocent, she hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. I just hope she can stand up for herself in married life and won’t get taken advantaged of.
Doubtful. I'm SURE in her church the husband/father is the boss. I guarantee control will move from Dad to pimply , clueless husband. Wow, talk about reverting to the "good old days". Sad story.
He said he was happy with “who he chose”, so I’m guessing probably not. But I don’t see this lasting long anyway.
@@sarahdee374 yes it’s really sad, and sadly she doesn’t know any better either…this was one episode I didn’t feel excited for the bride :/
@@ldnroses I agree normally I’d feel happy for the bride but I don’t in this episode
This is manipulation at its finest.. her dad has her brainwashed.. she should get therapy to unlearn these generational curses and be her own woman!!!
She is not a 30 year old trapped in a 17 year olds body. That’s just gross that her dad said that 🤮
She is a 17 year old thinking like a kid. I feel so bad for her. I hope she’s doing ok
Apparently she married at 19 and is extremely happy and has two kids! Thank goodness
I agree. The father is disgusting
Y’all are twisting his words around smh. What he means by saying that is she is really mature for her age and doesn’t party or do stuff that your typical 17 year old would do. I’m the same way. I just turned 21 a few days ago but I’ve never smoked, done drugs, drank, or gone clubbing or anything of that sort and I have no desire to. I would rather go to the movies or bowling, or literally do anything else that isn’t going to affect me mentally or health wise. I agree that the dad is being to strict with the dress, but me personally I would rather have a dad that cares too much than not at all! Also, y’all are acting like she is being forced to marry this guy! If anything, kudos to dad for letting her get married at this age! Legally, he could have said no but he allowed them to make that decision THEIRSELVES!
@@abigaylemckenzie9657 she didnt really want to get married and didnt end up married. tbe fact you dont find this a little weird is horrifiying, epseciay since youre near her age
@@abigaylemckenzie9657 That doesn't make you mature.. just means you don't like partying
Omg I am so happy she ended up not getting married. Ugh the best news
“I met him at church”
“I’m waiting for my first kiss to be on my wedding day.”
Those sentences tell me more than I need to know.
Yesss when I heard her I said oh so they’re that church couple
Another free space on that bingo card would be if despite her young age, they still got married quickly
thats what most christians/catholics do. Please elaborate.
@@itzmimismdexactly, that’s it
@@mluna1 i dont get it, is it bad to be catholic/christian??
It's pretty easy to see that she has a hard time making decisions for herself. Knowing that she's stepping into a huge decision like marriage really makes me wonder about the circumstances of it all and how happy she'll be. Much love and luck to her.
Agreed
Spot on
My feelings are that they're some flavor of fundamentalist Christian, based on the courtship nonsense. Someone has been following the Duggars a bit too closely!!
My theory is that her best friend is helping her to get from under her controlling dad thumb by marrying her!!
I totally agree! She doesn't seem to even know or trust herself and yet she's getting married? Wild
If I were a consultant at a wedding dress shop, a situation like that would be so difficult for me to keep my cool. I feel so sorry for this girl.
True... but I also would hate to to work at a shop where there are NO dresses with sleeves. Some girls WANT a conservative dress, some might want to be more covered because they are getting married in the WINTER.
@@brockreynolds870 pretty sure she's talking about the child bride
@@olivergregory5093 I know.... but it made it doublly hard because they had no conservative dresses to show her. Sometimes young marriages work ok. My cousin got married at 16, and she is still married to him today, 40 years later. He's a perfectly nice man, too.
I wouldn’t keep my cool. I don’t care if it’s “discrimination” against their religion.
Same here! I’d have lost my job that day! “Interesting” is not what would have come outta my mouth!
Her at 17: *getting married*
Me at 17: *balancing the switch between on and off*
this is honestly so heartbreaking to see. her dad seems very controlling, and overall the way he's acting is completely disgusting. as someone who is very close in age with this girl, I pray she gets away from her family and creates a beautiful life for herself, without her dad.
She did! If you look at the other comments, she ended up leaving those religious teachings behind and marrying a different man when she was 19. Her instagram looks like she's happy.
But you don’t know her. How can you wish for someone to detach from their family if you don’t know what’s going on
Yeah she is 17 but even if she was older he honestly didn't act like a dad who's daughter was getting married. Also she really didn't honestly seem that happy she seemed like she just did anything and everything her dad told her to and I'm glad she didn't end up marrying the guy she got married to a different guy at 19 and seems much happier.
@@lindaakinbusuyi-wilson5957 you don’t need to know someone to see the red flags all over this! It’s literally right in your face…
@@lindaakinbusuyi-wilson5957 this girl was abused her whole life she had to leave her famliy behind bc of the abuse shut your mouth you can tell in this video she is unhappy
Clearly the birth mother doesn’t have any say. Cara looks lovely in her chosen dress.
And the dad has been divorced ...is that ok for this horrible man . To use god as a reason to force others to do as he pleases. My god is not the same god as his
Birth mum looks young too ...dad likes younger women too and now letting his poor baby girl get married
I liked the mermaid better, but I’m happy she’s happy
@@lillanlofgren7424
Ur right a billion%
@@lillanlofgren7424 Say it louder for the people in the back!!! These disgusting, pervy dudes who like to shame women and spout religion, are the biggest hypocrites!!! Excuse me, dad, but I thought divorce was a sin?!! Why are YOU allowed to do whatever you want, but your poor daughter has to bend to your will?? Oh right, because your so-called "religion" is actually a misogynistic cult that grooms child brides.
“she’s probably a 30 y/o trapped in a 17 y/o body” no, she isn’t, she’s 17.
Right? Like, she's not mature, she's just too scared to disobey you.
Agreed! That's litterally what paedos say to justify their actions. Makes me uncomfortable.
It’s like sir girls tend to mature mentally quite fast. It does not matter - especially in the eyes of the law - how she looks, she still 17.
I felt so bad for her hearing him say that
This is when I had to stop watching.... like you sound like you're preying on your daughter bro, chill.
"He asked my Dad for permission to court me" - that alone tells you everything you need to know.
Should be shopping for prom dresses, not wedding dresses! This feels so uncomfortable for so many reasons
super cringey on a few levels.
I’m sure she never attended a school dance
@@catherinepowers2750 I mean you are not wrong! The dads behaviour was really cringe
She's finished high school. And many Christian sects do not dance, at proms or anywhere else.
There's something really off about her dad.🤔😑
If her dad wasn’t there, I wonder which dress she actually would have picked. Also I have never seen a father roll through to the dress choosing/fitting unless maybe the mom is deceased. If you believe she is old enough to get married why can’t she choose whichever dress she likes best? This is just beyond crazy.
My dad went to mine, but, because you hit the nail on the head, my mom had passed and he was paying. My granny went too.
Her mom and step mom where there her mom just never got a say so . Because the dad is something else
I grew up very religious, and in these sorts of cultures a woman (girl, in this case) is under her father's control/protection, and then she's given to her husband who will now control/protect her.
There's no point in her life where she is her own person who makes her own decisions regardless of the men in her life.
@@marzipanmango oh gosh well I’m hoping you were able to get away from that lifestyle. I can’t imagine being raised this way
For me, I’d want my dad there. He’s always been there for dress shopping with school dances, performance dresses, prom… to not have him there would feel like something was missing, and I wouldn’t be able to find one. I’ve gone dress shopping with friends before, but such a special day, I’d want him there. I plan on marrying a woman, so if he has to come to terms with who he’s walking me down the aisle towards, might as well like what I’m walking down the aisle wearing 😜
when the dad said "it draws attention right where it doesn't need to draw attention" im like WHY TF ARE U EVEN LOOKING THERE? am i the only one who's getting creepy vibes from him?!
The only reason it’s drawing attention is bec he’s looking at it . That’s his daughter so creepy
Was waiting for someone else tbh weird to me
I had the same reaction tho
Van , I echo your sentiments 100% She will have a baby a year ! These people don’t believe in birth control . She still has braces on her teeth , the step mother and biological mother said absolutely nothing about anything . The dad must be king in that household . Sounds like they are Mormon’s .. yikes she will be worn out before she is 30 .
Absolutely not.
"We met at church"
That told me everything about these people that I need to know.
This video left me absolutely speechless and is making me sick to my stomach. This poor child literally being dealt like a piece of property in 2023. 😢🤦😮🤮
This was in 2008 they didn’t get married but she did end up getting married and I was her flower girl I’m her cousin and she is now happily married with 2 kids
@@upcycleannie you said she’s your granddaughter in another comment…
@@mzdiamondlover I know that was my grandma me and her share a account I’m her cousin
"she is a 30 year old traped in a 17 year old body" thats what predators say
Spot on.
I was literally thinking that about the dad the whole time, just odd things he was saying about her and how she had to dress just made him seem very....Creepy...
Exactly what I was thinking
the dad acts like a predator who wants to own and control his daughter. Glad shes leaving their home, hope it goes well with her fiance.
Yes and to be fair, she looked more like a 13 years old trapped in a 17 years old body...
"She graduated high school early, she's a college student now"
Oh ho, buddy, that doesn't make her more mature. I graduated highschool when I was 16. The only thing that did was isolate me from my age group, force me to make choices about my future too early when I didn't have the experience for it, make me insecure about those decisions and immature compared my much older classmates, and made me tie all of my self worth to my grades and academic success. Being 'advanced' academically does NOT make you more mature
Thank you! x2, as a 16-year-old graduate and a now 17-year-old college freshman. Plus, I can almost guarantee that’s she’s far more sheltered and naive than most 17-year-olds anyway because of her upbringing.
I know someone who graduated with high academic graded at 16. She went on to college. Still honors plus. Worked to pay her way. Masters in teaching. Never married. A few boy friends. Adopted a child. Academic high achiever in every at every angle. 50 now. Yo.not me. I'm average. But that would have been nicer be that smart. That young lady in the video probably needs to "mature ore before she says I do.but we don't know her life story.
as a 16 year old graduate- yup. i feel so comfortable making life decisions related to academics, but i know no one my age and have barely communicated with anyone in the past few years. i can decide what to do about college. that’s 4 years of my life. i cannot decide to dedicate my entire person to another being for the rest of our lives. or, in this girl’s case, 2 beings. thanks, dad!
I graduated at 16 but I never had any problems with confidence. It out me in a place where I could start getting on with life outside of school while still being under the wing of my parents. Then when I was older and actually HAD to function as an adult I was very ready for it. Honestly one of my best life choices
God I feel you, didn't graduate early but went to a prestigious school for intelligent fellas on a scholarship. You had to pass two difficult tests to get in. By some kind of luck I did. Not the best choice for an ADHD person
The dad literally said “I couldn’t have picked a better man for her”. That says it all. 🤢🤮😵🤮
❤️
Well to me that meant he didn't think he could've picked a better one for her than she did herself, even if he tried 🤷♀️
Still cringe though!!
She wants this tho?
Yall are not gonna believe this but i know that guy. The whole situation was fucked up and they never ended up getting married. She ended up cheating on him and broke his heart, both came from not so great houses and kinda just wanted to escape together. But he is happily married now and had a cute dog and new baby 😊
@@randomitity1 thanks for sharing! I’m glad he’s happy
I’m all for respecting everyone’s traditions, but Monte’s look to the parents at 2:47 was my reaction too.
I feel like I'm witnessing a crime, not a bridal fitting.
Me too!!!
Hell in Tennessee they did away with the minimum age requirement to get married a pedophile's dream come true.
😢
Yeah I felt the same way. I find it sad.
Y’all sound dumb
I mean she hasn’t even finished puberty, she still has braces and acne for crying out loud. This is just outrageous.
Totally agree!!
Do people who finished puberty not wear braces?
@@dianaahakim2001 do you think that’s the point? The majority of brace wearers are teens
She's young, yes. But I don't think it's actually outrageous. My mom was married at 17. Back in the 50's. It's just much less common to marry that young now.
But SHE wants to get married. Shes not being married off.
if the dad wants her to not look like a woman, why is he marrying her off?
Because like Jim Bob Dugger he needs to be in charge. His wife said nothing, I bet she goes to homes chool college
Whoop, there it is
EXACTLY!!!!
Yall didn't watch this episode and it shows 🥴 she wants to get married! Get ya facts right and not one word that came out of his mouth said "I dont want her to look like a woman"
@Bubby Bets YES! You are stating facts!
Since the episode premiered, Kara is now happily married. However, it's important to note that she is not married to her original courter.
Kara has since gotten married to a man named Nate Hogg, taken his last name, and they have two young kids. The family currently lives in Georgia, where Kara serves as a partner relations manager at Reclamation Roasters and director of operations at AWAKE Communities Int.
How did you find out this information ( not being rude,just curious)
She's 17. The dad claiming that she's "A 30 year old trapped in a 17 year old's body" doesn't change the fact that this bride hasn't seen but 17 years on this Earth. What's the rush? Why not have her "court" for a few more years (because we all know they are going on chaperoned dates) and finish college? Dad is trying to make sure she doesn't get out into the real world and escape the religion.
I was thinking the same. He doesn't want her going to college because he is scared she will like being on her own. I bet he chose that boy cause he is just like him. Scary.
I hope this will be a successful marriage but my guess is she will not go to college. She will be pregnant within a month. Wonder if they are going to live with dear old Dad?
hes so creepy, suspicious and weird. glad shes leaving him and hope her new bf treats her well.
Actually, he's wrong about the religion (or belief if you want to be more respectful about it). That's not how God imagined a man to act like.
@@burjuddubowy347 According to her Instagram, she married someone else later and is clearly independent minded.
SHE DIDNT END UP MARRYING HIM! she married another man at 19 and they're very happy together with 2 kids :)
19's still so young. I have a feeling either this chick is going to be stuck in a very questionable marriage until she learn show to be her own person, or she'll be drowned in religious dogma for the rest of her natural life.
So she met another man, got engaged and got married in two years?... Is that any better?
@@BethanyGordon1992 All depended whether daddy picked boyfriend out to "court" or she met him in college.
Oh thank God!! It was all too creepy
Oh thank god
If her dad is still dictating what she gets to wear (the fact that he's looking at her body at all like that makes me uncomfortable), she's probably way too young to get married. Hope it works out, and I hope her future husband doesn't turn into a controlling person
Ditto on the discomfort
I hear ya on the controlling bit too. I worry if Dad's approval of the young man in any way means Dad sees himself in the soon to be husband.
The dad had controlling the grom also ...They had to marry to get a kiss . This is child abuse
Seems like hes sexualizing her ew
She has been trained to obey her father and will fall into the pattern of following her husband's lead. She has no voice, no opinions, no anger, no bitterness yet. That will come later in life and her husband will be the first victim.
sounds like the dad was trying his hardest to not be turned on by his daughter
This child literally still has braces on and she’s in a wedding dress. She is a LITERAL CHILD!!!! This is vile
Mothers are not involved in how the bulge of her son looks like on his wedding day , she respectfully lets him shine in his own body and sexuality with autonomy while being very proud of that. This is the minimum men should give women back . The mom and family is now obsessed about the sons bulge and mountain is looking in his trousers. This is super creepy
she looks 13, not 30. wtf is wrong with that dad?? it grossed me out
My daughter is 17 years old and there’s no way I’d ever approve of her getting married at this age
Same! My momma would have killed me before she let me walk down the aisle at 17 😂
you are a good parent.
I'm 27, I still feel uncomfortable when I hear of ppl getting married at my age XD wtf
hazzah! a parent with common sense! (but seriously good on you mama)
I got married at 18 but that was all my decision - parents actually tried their best to prevent it, probably tried too hard I'd say looking back which is likely exactly why it happened! This episode was very odd that it was the father's idea and the daughter just going along.
No one in this day and age, actually ever should choose their child’s partner. Madness!
It's not an arranged marriage which is the norm I. India. She picked her husband and her family advised her .
Neither should children get married, she's fucking 17 omg this is horrific
It takes almost a year to get the dress. She will be 18 then. Not a child and marrying a man her own age
@@roxannesharbono994 Regardless, you have to be 21 in the US to buy alcohol and tobacco products, so 18 is sure as hell not old enough to get married. At 17/18, Americans are just leaving high school and maybe starting college. Just because it's not illegal doesn't mean it's right.
@@discogoth you can legally get married and join the military at 18. Her parents could not stop her if they wanted too.
I hope this poor girl is doing well, hopefully everything went smoothly 🫠
As someone who grew up in Utah, this is actually something I've seen way too much. As a church leader I pissed off a whole gaggle of Karen's because when I was made the youth leader over the teenage girls I shut down a years long tradition of taking the 16 year old girls to try on "modest" wedding dresses. I got together a panel of educated women and had a career night instead.
Wow taking 16 year old girls to go wedding dress window shopping is soooo strange
that’s awesome!
Is that a traditional Mormon thing? Like I know Mormon polygamous groups in Utah marry their girls young. Not judging just asking.
@@BettyLucille it's not a church doctrine, it's just a cultural or social thing. I didn't get married until I was 28, and I was a huge outlier. It's just sort of ingrained that you graduate high school, and get married at 19 when your missionary comes home and he's 21. Live in poverty while you put him through school, and pump out a few babies. Give up your hopes and dreams before you're even 25. That wasn't for me, and I wanted more for my girls.
That's amazing
This girl should NOT be getting married considering she can't do anything without needing her father's approval. So sad to me.
She is not the only bride whose parents has the most say! It has much older brides than her who has no say at all! Just wish the young lady the best. Everyone has their values. Not everyone wants their children sleeping around!
@@lynettephillip2412 Yeah. It's not good to go from person to person either. I think that the only concern is if she is forced. She do need to be able to live her on life, and make her own decisions. Parents are not to be demanding, controlling, or manipulative towards their children either. Be and stay blessed in Jesus name. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen. God love and cares for you, and so do I. 💜💜💜
@@ladennayoung2939 I don't think that she was forced. The father just wanted certain behavior. I don't believe in controlling anyone, but God expect certain behavior from his people! I came to the chat to read what people has to say. It was not very nice. Nobody try to wish them well. Sad! Society is so influence by Hollywood's standard, anything else is seen as not normal.
@@lynettephillip2412 the alternative to getting married at seventeen is not sleeping around.... Not everyone "sleeps around", religious or not.
@@MyWorld-zw6oe Most people do.
Looked her up and she's married to another man and seems like she's living a normal life now thankfully
Whaaat?? Where? Insta ?
Teendom is a time a parent should be encouraging their child to discover their autonomy, finding out who they are and who they want to be, separate from anyone else, especially their parents. Unfortunately this isn't what's happening here. If she can get married but isn't allowed to pick her own dress....it makes me wonder what else he has control over or _will_ have control over. This sweet young lady needs to read the Boundaries book ❤ It will help!
Mothers are not involved in how the bulge of her son looks like on his wedding day , she respectfully lets him shine in his own body and sexuality with autonomy while being very proud of that. This is the minimum men should give women back . The mom and family is now obsessed about the sons bulge and mountain is looking in his trousers. This is super creepy
Alright, it's finally happened. There is finally an episode of Say Yes to the Dress that is too cringey for me to watch. I cannot believe we are watching a literal child bride select a gown. I have no words.
She's awfully young but very smart an educated,, so dad is in pleased so family is just fine. Congratulations.
Let me tell you about when my childhood friend courted his future ex wife. It didn’t work
Our great grandmothers wouldn't understand your concern
Def not a child. I Never understood calling a teen a child. But marrying someone you’ve not Even kissed give me really cringey vibes.
@@MissVasques a 17 yr old is absolutely a child. Tf are you on?
Does anyone else find the dad oddly creepy? Why does a father feel so distracted by his daughters uncovered body?
He’s a ghoul in
I felt like throwing up
Why do you think it should be normal that a father should Not be distracted by his Daughter's uncovered body? You might want to rethink what you wrote.
@@gcromer903 please rethink what YOU wrote
@@gcromer903 why is he looking? Why is he “courting” off his 17 year old? It’s written all over his face. It’s it not an “I’m uncomfortable because you’re growing up” it’s an “I’m uncomfortable because I cant keep my eyes off you”
Ngl but dad's like that just shouldn't have kids. this girl is heavily dictated in her life, I feel sorry for her. I hope her husband doesn't think he can do the same.
I bet he does, though. Remember, he happily put up with all of daddy's rules. Chances are, he views the whole thing as paying his dues so he can earn his own little dictatorship.
He absolutely will, it's part of the cult. As her 'headship' he will all but own her. Where she goes, what she wears, who she socializes with, all of that will be decided by her husband. She will not continue her education and will likely already have given birth to their first child by their first wedding anniversary. The lives of girls and women in these fundamentalist sects are really sad.
I'm an example of this same exact thing. Courted, parents highly involved, mom designed my wedding and my husband was an abuser who wanted total control of me.
@@lauda6945 damn, I'm so sorry
@@lauda6945 I am sad and horrified you went through that. I'm glad you survived and managed to get away.
I want a follow up years later for this bride. She needs her own show.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one concerned about this situation. But can we also address how the father sexualized his daughter this entire appointment 🤢 There wasn’t a thing revealing about the first two dresses at all. Gosh, this situation is sketchy asl, especially since we weren’t even told the age of the groom😕
I was engaged at 18 and married at 19. My husband was 20 when we got married. We celebrated 22 years of marriage in June. But our relationship was and is on our own terms and my gown was certainly on MY terms. To ensure this wasn't an issue, I paid for my own dress and my husband and I paid for the wedding entirely by working full time to cover it. But we recognize this isn't for everyone, nor should it be. It's incredibly weird and creepy that this girl's dad compared her to a 30 year old but exerted control over her body and the wedding dress she chose. I hope her husband isn't the same way and that she has learned that her body is under her control only.
That's the thing though.. on your own terms. If you choose it, do whatever you wants. I get the feeling that this girls doesn't even want to get married and it's being forced on her because her dad wants it. Like she's just repeating a script for the camera, but doesn't feel it.
Mothers are not involved in how the bulge of her son looks like on his wedding day , she respectfully lets him shine in his own body and sexuality with autonomy while being very proud of that. This is the minimum men should give women back . The mom and family is now obsessed about the sons bulge and mountain is looking in his trousers. This is super creepy
Why is her dad at the fitting? What a weird family… I can’t watch this…
@@rebeccaqueen1542 It's either she didn't want to get married or she really has no clue what it's like to make decisions without involving her father. Makes me think of the idea of "courtship" in some Christian circles where the father is HEAVILY involved in the relationship. It's incredibly intrusive and ultimately treats the woman like she's property first owned by the father and then transferred to the husband on the wedding day. So gross.
@@molliwilson5639Many guys like this think they know best and that she needs to be married off as soon as possible before she gets a mind of her own
I’m actually sickened by this. She’s not allowed to pick out her own wedding dress, but she’s allowed to get married?!? This is way too young !!! She needs to be picking out a prom dress! This is wrong on so many levels! I personally couldn’t help this family. Disturbing is an understatement!!!!
This is painful for me to watch. I myself was married at 17 ( been married to my husband for 52 years now). I know the difficult road this young girl is going to be on and she will be lucky to survive it. This father should be put in jail for allowing his daughter to get married. She can not get married without parental permission at this age. Sorry dad she is 17 and a minor and a child. Regardless if she is in college . Please please some real adult with common sense please step in and be an advocate for this child! I wish someone had done that for me. There should laws across the entire United States that no one under the age of 21 is allowed to get married period. The laws need to be changed. These archaic laws put young girls in danger both physically, mentally and, financially. ( I include boys in this too)
This is just plain wrong. Her Dad is totally in control of everything, treating her like his property, marrying her off to someone she's not even kissed and is so young himself. I'm a Christian but can't endorse this complete paranoia about sexuality that stops a young person becoming independent, and fully who *they* are.
Texas is a scary place. Monte is spot on.
I live in Texas, engaged and getting married at 22, and I thought THAT was young. How is this okay?! I’m actually sick watching this.
Yeah, this isn't a "Texas" thing? This happens literally everywhere, lmao. I've lived in Texas my entire life and have never met a family like this.
@@tkrc1888 first of all: congratulations! but like, this dad is totally a predator. SO creepy
yeah this episode and the dad disturbed the hell out of me
My cousin lives in Dallas and she was 32 when she got married
Well I can't even go to a doctors appointment alone... she's getting married
17 i can go to hospital by myself but yeah i would not get married that young. I rather study, work and explore the world
@@Clover-wg5xx you probably can go and stay in hospital alone, but you are not allowed to leave alone. Happend too me at 16. They released me, kicked me out of my room, but than wouldn't allow me to go home. I had to wait all day because my mother had to work. - I live in Germany
@@reberi sorry that you had to experience that terrible moment.
these are the same people who will look down on teen moms, but it's okay if the teen is married smh
Big facts my ass feels awkward going doctor appointments without my mum and I’m 20😂 then again I see girls with families at this age I must be slow 😫😫😫
It makes me so sad to see such a young girl in this cult like situation.
How is it cult like?
@@strangeanimations588 whether people like it or not, purity culture and arranged religious marriage is cult activity. Her father dictates who she marries, what she wears, when she loses her virginity, when she has her first kiss, pretty much everything. I suggest doing some research into religious cults and you’ll see a lot of similarities to what’s going on in this episode.
@@BettyLucille He didn't choose her fiancé. What he said was that he couldn't have chosen a better one, as in she found him and there was no one better for her.
Oh 100% a religious cult, it just reeks of it
2:44 that wow was such a read I love him
Everything about this was horrifying. The staff could barely fake enthusiasm from being drowned by Duggar vibes.
How is this even legal! She is still a kid who is very influenced by her dad , doesnt seem like shes mature enough to take her own decisions judging by her opinions that changes according to the dads view...
Unfortunately, in most states, you can get married that young with parental permission.
I didn't get the impression that she was being 'married off' by her dad. She very much wants to get married, or she wouldn't be there.
Not influenced, controlled.
@@gailowens1925 in my opinion even if she wants she shouldnt be allowed , her and the groom are still young and devolping their personalties so this marriage is not gonna stay the same for long..
@@gailowens1925 Ma'am.....yikes, you must not have children. As a parent, it's your job to PROTECT your children from making bad decisions, like getting married too soon. Even if this child genuinely wants to get married (she doesn't, her father has brainwashed her), she's too young to understand the consequences of her choices and she needs guidance from older people. So sad that she is being exploited, as opposed to being protected.
The moment the dad said her boyfriend went by the rules that he and his wife laid out instead of him and her mother told me all I needed to know.
What do you mean?
@@MalloryNewcomb her mother and her father are divorced. His “wife” is her step mother, not her mother. So her mom didn’t get a say in these rules, just dad and his wife
Dad really said “ *I* couldn’t have picked a better man “ like HUGE problem right there
Sorry this father is a creep. Do we need to call the police? He looks too much at his daughter’s body… all the alarm bells are ringing
Chill! I know he is wrong but not every parents is a freaking sick prick so think before you say something
I feel the same way. He implies that he views her sexually multiple times and it made me nauseated. She's a minor and his kid. I was looking at the mom like please say anything.
@@kookoonuthead5644 I did not say every parent I said this father. So I am thinking when I said it.
He looks as the type of shit abusing se***ally of a kid....
@@kookoonuthead5644 worst case in being over-concerned: you hurt a parent's feelings. best case: you save a child's life
Absolutely sickening. This is nothing short of abuse. How could you marry off your own 17 year old child? How could you do that?
There are still states in the US that allow child marriage, and extremely fundamentalist Christian’s like this family seem to be obsessed with marrying their daughters off as young as possible. Disgusting and horrible.
Smells a lot like a family with 19 kids
Legally you can't anymore.
In the 70s and 80s your parents could sign for you to get married.
BUT that became illegal because kids were being forced to marry someone they didn't want to.
Now the minor must become Emancipated first.
The minor will apply to become Emancipated and the parent will have the option whether or not to contest that Emancipation.
If the parent does not contest it, that minor becomes a legal adult - fully legal in the eyes of the USA.
Then the "adult" must go back to the courthouse (on a later date) and apply for a marriage license.
Then SHE signs the Marriage Certificate.
Because Minors aren't allowed to sign legal forms.
So her Dad is not doing anything.
The girl is making her own choices to do this. It's not the Dad. It's all up to her.
"Marrying off" might be way more appropriate than originally intended...
looks like she's buying a wedding dress. sounds like she's buying a wedding dress. feels like she's buying a prom dress.
That's what I was doing at 17 years old... looking at prom dresses and colleges
That’s what I was thinking- I understand the conservative viewpoint (and wish it wasn’t so demonized in these comments) but she does seem to have trouble making decisions for herself. That being said- I’ve only ever seen six minutes of her life and she might be in a wonderful, happy marriage right now.
I like Monte reaction when she told her age
The dad said his daughter is like a 30-yr old but the way she unfortunately only decided on her father’s opinion tells me she is a normal 17yr old. I don’t even understand why this wedding has to take place.
The "like a 30yo" part is a massive red flag, it's indicative of abuse and grooming
This. A 30-year old would have enough personality and personhood in order to make her own choices. Of course, some women still look to their parents for approval, but a real adult would have a clear vision for her own wedding ABD fight for it in front of her parents. This girl is terribly not either. Hopefully she will learn to have opinions of her own without her dad and future husband.
Mormon
@@jodievukmir3187 I'm a Latter-day Saint or "Mormon" as we are sometimes called. I can assure you, we don't arrange marriages, nor do we encourage marriage at this young of an age. Also, if she were a member of our faith, she'd probably be getting married in the temple, so her shoulders would have to be covered.
@@jodievukmir3187 It's highly unlikely she's LDS. I'd put money on the family belonging to one of the many independent fundamentalist Protestant sects like IBLP.
Her Dad saying that she is practically a “30 year old trapped in her body.” Then let her make her own decisions to pick and choose her own dress?! The whole time he’s just shaming her and it’s disgusting to see
I'm Muslim and my dad is very strict too when it comes to modest clothing (it took me a while to get him used to ripped jeans). We went dress shopping for my school graduation in 2018 and even he realized that a knee length dress was the most flattering to me and he agreed to it without whining.
This dad was so so creepy.
at least your dad listen to you and respect you and your opinion... this girl's dad however have the creepy factor....eekk
Like what a shocker! Parents can actually want their kids to dress modestly for religious reasons without being literal creeps about it like this guy!
Oh hell i am Muslim too
And my parents never allowed me to choose any dress
I have to cover myself completely no matter what
I can't wear jeans or anything tight sadly I won't be allowed to marry the person i want because everything is imposed on me by them
What I don't understand if the man is really into modesty which we all know spiritually is not just about clothing, right? Why is it OK that her shoulders and arms are uncovered? Instead the man is just concentrating on one area, just saying.....
bruh we're muslims too but dad never treats me that way
I can tell there's like a progressive thoughtful girl just waiting to burst out in there. I just hope Kara is out there living her best life these days free from these weird dynamics.
She's married to someone else they got married in 2013 nate hogg and they're still together and have kids
I just stalked nate hogg and found her profile. She is so progressive! She made a #blacklivesmatter post and a COVID-19 vaccine post!
@@Donutsinmyprius Awww, nice. I just KNEW it. I'm SO happy for her for getting away from all that!!!!
This thread has made me feel so much better! I was seriously worried for this girl... Thank you for the update x
@@Donutsinmyprius Good to hear. I'm proud of her for escaping, and I hope she lives the rest of her life to make up for her past.
So we all agree that this man is disgusting and is looking at his daughter in ways that her significant other should, not her father?
Yes, but even a significant other shouldn't be so controlling.
@@lizipearlvlogs i mean sexually. he is looking at her in a sexual way and its disgusting. but yes, that is true
PLEASE STOP! this is so sad i don't even know anymore
What do u mean in a sexual way??...U CANT FREAKING SEE THAT i don't know what to think no more...I've been brainwashed to think that this look is normal here
Yep
The dad is just.. creepy. He is talking so much about her body as if it is his property and is so focused on it.. it creeps me out
Exactly. HE is looking at these features. He is seeing her as a sex object, and the rest of us are looking at her as a bride. Most of us don't need to have fabric covering her in order to contain our "sinful" thoughts. Maybe he is the one with the sinful thoughts.
He DOES see her as his property. She's not allowed to have her own mind or make her own decisions. She may as well be a decorative lamp he's picking out a new shade for.
@@SabrinaHexcraft fully agree. And the kid that guy is marrying this poor child to is also disgusting.
This guy is gross af
I do agree to that, he does talk creepy about his daughter s body !
Wow,the last dress looked so pretty on her, so nice to see her whole family like it as well 🎉
“Fiancé basically dates the whole family”’ okay …..
Then why doesn’t this girl’s mother ever get to say a word? Much less anyone else in the entourage besides her father?
@@GoodnightJLH Because (usually) in this type of religious background, Dad is the "head" and "leader" of the family- so Dad's word is law simply because he's a man.
@@starzzzy22
I have been around many patriarchal families. And I’ve never seen one where the wife and ex wife get zero input on attire for the daughter. I’m certainly aware that such a man could veto any dress that he found too revealing. But no opinion at all is just plain creepy. I just hope this child isn’t marrying a boy who is like her father.
@@starzzzy22 dude is divorced and remarried himself! And he's talking about abiding by his "rules" what a hypocrite!
@@GoodnightJLH Keep in mind this video is verrrry heavily cut
I'm not judging her, she's sweet, but if she can't even make a decision over a wedding dress without her dad's approval, how on earth is she going to be making decisions with her life as a wife. Is she going to have to turn to her new husband before she does anything? I fear she's never going to be her own person. I really hope I'm wrong and marriage will turn out to be the push she needs to stand up for herself with her husband by her side.
To clarify, a lot of brides wish for their parent's to like the dresses too, but in this case, it seemed a lot more about control.
The point is, probably in her kind of church/cult she has anyway no right to decide anything for herself besides the colours of the bedsheets, curtains and what to cook tomorrow...
@@Safra62 "church/cult" - yup! That's the perfect way to put it.
Many young ladies want their parents approval for her dress. That just means they care what their family thinks.
@@gailowens1925 , and that is good and nice!
The problem here is IMHO that this young woman seems to be not even feeling exactly what she herself wants, likes, feels.
Did you all see her face, her micro-expressions at some points in the video?
Her smile wasn't happy but confused...
That's arguably the point with these abusive cultish upbringings. They don't want the daughters to be their own person or have different opinions. It makes them the perfect victims for future abuse and manipulation because they are easy to gaslight and control.
I don't want to be disrespectful to their religious beliefs, however, it has been proven that the frontal cortex of the brain (in charge of rational decisions) is not fully developed until 25. To not only allow, but encourage, a girl this young to get married, feels too much like an unnecessary risk. But I hope she is still happy!
Some scientists even say that the brain is not fully developed until 27!
Puberty lasts awhile. Until 27 in these days.
@@mermaidmoon2254 And there are people with full development 'til 29.
Men never mature. . . Sorry not sorry
I wouldn't want my child getting married at 17, but not everyone is going to wait until they're 25, 27, 29, etc. I got married at 20, and we're still very happily married many years later. It all depends on the person and the situation.
How wonderful! I love to see young couples who are willing to go through as much life together as they can. The younger you are when married, the more you're able to grow together. I'm very happy her family is supportive.
The family went beyond being supportive. The dad said he picked her fiancé. Red flag #1. That may work in fiction and a long time ago, but these days, in the West, the person should pick their own spouse, not anybody else. She's 17, and in most states, including Texas, where she lived at the time of this episode, the age of consent is 18. She should not be getting married and the dad's logic is backwards. She's old enough that she can get married, but she can't have her own preferences in wedding dresses let alone kiss her fiancé until they're married? Red flag #2.
And I'm Catholic even.
Hahhha they’re divorced. Children should be getting married, and her FATHER has no right telling her what dress she should wear, especially calling attention to everything he finds sexy. Sick culty nonsense.
I can't finish this episode. I am horrified. That dad treating his daughter's body like his own personal property, and a child getting married just so she can finally have her first kiss... Absolutely disgusting and heartbreaking. I hope the marriage is short-lived for her sake and her husband's. They need to leave this cult and go experience life. Both the girl and boy have had it drilled into their heads that men own women and can buy and sell them. They won't get deprogrammed as long as they're together.
She isn't a child
@@strangeanimations588 she’s still a minor so she’s a child.
@@Melanie-jy2nw No, a child is someone under the age of puberty. Which she isn't. So she's not a child.
@@strangeanimations588 fbi open up
@@Melanie-jy2nw Just spilling facts