5 KEY Phrases To SHUT DOWN A Narcissist & Reclaim YOUR CONTROL (Disarm The Narcissist)

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  • Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
  • 💪Are you ready to dominate narcissists and take your back in any conversation? Join me for a free live webinar! Click here to sign up 👉👉slay.rebeccazu...
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    Learn 5 phrases to disarm a narcissist and take back control of the conversation. If you've ever felt like a narcissist was taking advantage of you, or you just want to be able to stand up for yourself better, this video is for you. Rebecca Zung, top lawyer and narcissist negotiation expert, teaches you five key phrases that will shut down a narcissist and help you reclaim your power.
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    🎓Rebecca Zung is an attorney who has been recognized as one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the country having recognized as a Best Lawyer by U.S. News and is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell. She is also the bestselling author of 2 books, Negotiate Like You MATTER (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide.
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    • 5 KEY Phrases To SHUT ...
    • 5 KEY Phrases To SHUT ...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 165

  • @RebeccaZungEsq
    @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +12

    Do you want to learn more about shutting down the narcissist once and for all? Join me in my ABSOLUTELY FREE webinar and I will teach you tips and tricks of disarming them in conversations. Sign up here 👉 www.icanslay.com

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +4

      I can't wait to share these tips and tricks! See you all there!

    • @fredwaldron3325
      @fredwaldron3325 Рік тому

      I get the feeling you know my ex personally. Thank you so much for your framework, and giving me understanding and awareness of what I'm dealing with.

  • @yukio_saito
    @yukio_saito Рік тому +27

    4:49 #4 "We can resume this conversation when you're ready to respect me."
    I like this. They are antagonistic so they are not going to be respectful. Thus you don't need to resume the conversation. Shut them down forever!

  • @horsemama6112
    @horsemama6112 Рік тому +18

    "Whatever" or maybe "I don't care" would be the best in my situation. I think he loves hearing I'm sorry no matter how it is phrased. He would only hear the I'm sorry part and think he is GOD -lol.

  • @lisamajic1368
    @lisamajic1368 Рік тому +16

    Thank you for helping me “turn this ship around”. You’re saving my life ❤️

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +3

      Keep it up, Lisa! I wish you peace and sending you love! ❤

  • @mollysilverman6803
    @mollysilverman6803 Рік тому +7

    😂😂❤😂 I have a 17 yr old girl. I have that “whatever” down pat. It goes along with the eye roll you can hear! She’s a teenager. I pick my battles. 3 softball teams, varsity tennis, 4.578 GPA… she’s a good kid. I only get the eye roll thing around once a month, if you get my drift. I can deal with it. ❤🎉

  • @acepath3001
    @acepath3001 7 місяців тому +1

    I was born to a narcassit mother.and I watched her manipulate anyone and everyone she connected with.
    I somehow was able to survive the abuse and have a natural ability to crush the narssacit ego like Hannibal lecter chewing through the fat.😀

  • @FeistyMimi024
    @FeistyMimi024 Рік тому +6

    Spot on from a mental health clinician! Helping a friend dealing w/one now!!

  • @stevenzinn5029
    @stevenzinn5029 Рік тому +3

    Respect Me I have used "I understand that's your perspective" to great effect

  • @HDVideoPixel
    @HDVideoPixel 10 місяців тому +1

    Every second of this vídeo is important for everybody facing a narcisist in their lives. Thank you, from Brasil!

  • @beonelove3483
    @beonelove3483 Рік тому +5

    Boundaries are Self Love & RESPECT for ourselves AND others. We teach them- & stop them, through our Self RESPECT. Its a process that is a beautiful Gift- OUR Gift. Keep on choosing to create the new peace & space for ourselves 1st, with these teachings & healing our M/B/S. Thank You so much Rebecca. "Nama-slay"😄-absouletly! Om onwards 🙏💯🎯🕉🌈🌞🖤🪞🤍🌞🌈🕉🎯💯🙏

  • @celiamurray
    @celiamurray Рік тому +5

    When the narc shouted at me in my room, I turned around to walk out the room. He then said he will hit me and proceed to hit me in my back with his fist. I opened an assault case at the police.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +8

      Oh no, Celia! I'm sorry to hear that! I sure hope that doesn't happen again. Just in case, please utilize the resources and support that you deserve by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

  • @breathe1313
    @breathe1313 Рік тому +1

    Whatever
    No
    I agree that's what you're feeling/thinking etc
    We'll continue this conversation when you're ready to respect me. Walk away.
    I'm sorry you feel/ think that way

  • @eandsm4620
    @eandsm4620 Рік тому +2

    You have read my mind. My notebook's right beside me! I need some new tricks in dealing with my neighbor.
    Rebecca, you have a GREAT day dear. You have helped so many, including me. Thanks from the bottom of my heart!!!
    ♥💜💜💜♥

  • @Modestnomad
    @Modestnomad Рік тому +2

    May work for some. “Im sorry…” or “I agree” usually results in them (in their mind) proving you’re to blame, and they will still not stop, and use it against you later. “Let’s resume this later…” they’ve replied “you’re just trying to control the situation”, and they need to have the last word, so they will continue. If you just sit there and take the abuse, and don’t say anything, it infuriates them more. Using “whatever” has put me in an even more of a rage-full situation.
    These are just my personal experiences with 2 people with NPD in my life. Doesn’t mean it won’t work for you. The only way to permanently resolve these situations is to eventually develop the courage to leave.

  • @amethystseapaw9806
    @amethystseapaw9806 Рік тому +2

    5. "I'm sorry..."
    4. " We can resume this conversation when you're ready to respect me."
    3. "I agree, that that's what you believe."
    2. "No."
    1. "Whatever."

  • @mollysilverman6803
    @mollysilverman6803 Рік тому +8

    Thank you so very much for this video. I Really needed it just very right now! Everything happens for a reason. I hope you don’t mind that I downloaded it to hear again. Much Love ❤️ is

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +3

      You got this, Molly! Deliver these phrases with confidence 💪

    • @Jackgritty28
      @Jackgritty28 Рік тому +1

      Disarming a narcissist shouldn't be that difficult,if their being dogmatic about it,let them know how inappropriate they are.Because at the end of the day you should know your rights,you don't have to have a guilt complex because of it🆘❌🚩✔️💲

  • @Barneyjo
    @Barneyjo Рік тому +5

    Grey rock is the absolute best defense against arrogant manipulative people. Also if anything is a emergency for them put the brakes on immediately and take control of the timeline.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +2

      It is but unfortunately, there are times that it can't be helped and some people would have to eventually face and talk with the narcissist.

    • @Barneyjo
      @Barneyjo Рік тому +2

      @@RebeccaZungEsq
      When I need to interact with them I keep my reactions at a very dry level without being rude or passive aggressive.

  • @robertscottmcmillan4881
    @robertscottmcmillan4881 Рік тому +5

    Something critical that i realized about my narcissist experience…A freakish capacity to talk about they’re very own horrid behaviour( what THEY actually did to another ) by taking on their victims ‘role’ / ‘character’ in the ‘play’!!?? Deeply twisted. I have never met such a sinister characteristic in another human ‘being?’. - The abuser acting as the abused and actually believing it!?. Woh . 😳 hard to believe that Narcissists are actual humans. 😮

    • @taraarrington2285
      @taraarrington2285 Рік тому +1

      Yep. Smear campaign, triangulating, gaslighting. So textbook.

    • @robertscottmcmillan4881
      @robertscottmcmillan4881 Рік тому

      yup. 🎯 but not textbook upon first experience of said. Only textbook …after having read some textbooks 🎯

  • @mariroseengert8666
    @mariroseengert8666 Рік тому +3

    I use no all the time. Also, It is what it is works too!

  • @heavenlygrandma9992
    @heavenlygrandma9992 Рік тому +4

    LOL I said number 5 before you said it. My soon to be ex, covert narcissist actually told me he hated that word.

  • @bethlevy1117
    @bethlevy1117 Рік тому +2

    Thanks 😊 "Rebecca ", your such a big help 👍✌️

  • @shawnpipas3737
    @shawnpipas3737 Рік тому +3

    Never say sorry to a narcissist, just walk away...they will go insane.. narcissist = control and power... By saying sorry it makes the feel that they have control
    Remove they're power = they crumble....

  • @hablin1
    @hablin1 Рік тому +5

    I’ve just had this conversation, it’s draining 🤦‍♀️😡😩

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому +2

      Ugh, aren't they just the energy vampires?? There ARE other strategies you can use, too. If you haven't signed up yet, join my free webinar!

    • @tristwhi1783
      @tristwhi1783 Рік тому +1

      You are so right. I think I’m at my whits end. I’ve come to the point where it’s like talking to a brick wall. I think my cats are better to understand and communicate with. They drain you to no end and make it look like you are the issue.

    • @mishaanton5436
      @mishaanton5436 Рік тому

      Short n sweet n exit stage left. I used to go get my coat on in another room and leave in my car. I was rarely stopped out in my car as it was the last thing expected apparently. Also I was quiet. I think he thought he won a onesidded battle. I only stood up for myself rarely when I got triggered over one subject. Untill I saw he was just being an a**. I would say I did X and you know it because you do Y so I know you know the truth. Then usually would just not engage. When ask where I was going it was always to see girlfriend. Even if it was anywhere. Why didn't I tell him? I was running late listening to his speech. It's late! Not for us night owls. What time was I returning? Couldn't say, exactly. Bye bye. I was always returning after he was in bed. Thank god he was regemented and a heavy sleeper. I came home made a fire, and a nice dinner. He would wake later to potty, come out see me cozy, look quizzical and go to bed. Or I would go call my 'daughter' with head phones on, turn on radio in room on low, get up on bed with teddy bear and pillow. I had disengaged. Or go to bathroom flush n leave or get up in bed. I don't like to argue. It wasn't a part of other relationships, but one. And those were rare. You have to get out of it. Non respectful, are antagonists. Better save your soul an psyche.

    • @robertaturk
      @robertaturk Рік тому +1

      I call it “talking to the wall!”
      I am being hovered - separated 3 ½ years - finally got my mind back.
      He gives seems like - 1,000 reasons to get back together - thought about adding to the list… but decided not. Finally I (God?) dreamed up the strategy that we had to talk about “what it take to get back together again “. Over like forever…
      First he ignored this.
      Then later he remembered and seemed happy.
      Then he forgot it again (as if he was retarded - not!!!).
      Then he said
      Made the mistake and said “when I left - meaning turned the door knob and walked out the door” He jumped on saying - see - means voluntary”. Not!
      Then
      He would call and say
      “What is your plan?” (Didn’t fall into that rabbit hole.).
      “When are you coming out here?”
      Finally he asked
      “What it would it take?”
      My answer --“HONESTY”
      He is smearing me -
      When the truth is he harangued me, broke me, threw me out like a piece of trash knowing I did not have enough money to live on or a place to go. (aged 74) Thankfully I got taken in by a decent shelter for 90 days.
      So far he’s stumped but being a never quit high level Narc he’s sure to come up with more moves.
      Starting to gather info for divorcee. Since I live in 1/5 of our joint income… would be a change for the better.
      The beat goes on…

  • @jenniferLaw123
    @jenniferLaw123 Рік тому +3

    I do these already & somehow he twists it around & says why do you have such a chip in your shoulder ?? Why are you acting this way ??? When in reality it’s him that is treating me horribly. It’s like I can’t win no matter what I say or do !!!🤦‍♀️🙄

  • @valorwarrior7628
    @valorwarrior7628 11 місяців тому +1

    Some of them once they get compromised and shut down, they get extremely explosive and violent, they would even result to use their histrionic victimhood dramas to spiral the world into their victimhood theater.

  • @queeniepop2058
    @queeniepop2058 Рік тому +4

    Love it thank you!!!!

  • @debbieandoliviagiannecchin3421

    RESPECT ME !

  • @seamuslynam4246
    @seamuslynam4246 Рік тому +3

    I am too agreeable. Very difficult to change this. I have tried many times but when it comes to the crunch I sidestep

  • @cindyramsey512
    @cindyramsey512 7 місяців тому

    Thank You 👍

  • @justinsane5695
    @justinsane5695 2 місяці тому

    To say sorry means you’re admitting guilt. My wife goes 0-100 in 1/2 a second, there’s no 20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100. If i say sorry she will say something to the effect I’ve done something and it will justify all the stuff she’s about to do.There’s no respect from these kind of people. My wife doesn’t talk it’s always yelling. lol i believe you can’t change who a person really is , once you know who they are , treat them accordingly. We all deserve respect.. what i say is … i hear you, and i disagree with what you’re saying. But i say i hear you so she can stop saying the same thing. Good talk..

  • @lyndaslocs
    @lyndaslocs Рік тому +1

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

  • @jasonwells9050
    @jasonwells9050 7 місяців тому

    Respect me and there is power in the word No

  • @marcellegregory346
    @marcellegregory346 Рік тому

    The narcissist in my life has been calling me names and putting me down! I got so fed up with it, I told them I'm done, our relationship is over. It felt good telling them that 😅

  • @sobiaperez4484
    @sobiaperez4484 Рік тому +4

    He has beaten me down
    45 years😢

    • @lucybraun8969
      @lucybraun8969 Рік тому +2

      I hear you. My narcissist brother has been in my life for decades, and won't leave me alone. I only learned about narcisists only about two years ago. Before that, I was his sitting duck.

    • @NewDay8429
      @NewDay8429 6 місяців тому

      Sad 😢😢😢😢

  • @sallyjaynes2433
    @sallyjaynes2433 Рік тому +1

    Yesss .... Respect me 😬. Covert's don't focus needs of you in discussion (disguise)

  • @loribeals2699
    @loribeals2699 Рік тому +1

    Respect me!

  • @MzLaDae2U
    @MzLaDae2U 8 місяців тому

    RESPECT ME!

  • @dalemeyer8207
    @dalemeyer8207 Рік тому +1

    Respect Me !!!
    I'm Passive Agressive in my apinion .
    Thank Ya

  • @victoriahall933
    @victoriahall933 Рік тому

    R E S P E C T...Alwayzz

  • @mollysilverman6803
    @mollysilverman6803 Рік тому +4

    😂 Don’t turn your back on a unicorn!!

    • @Barneyjo
      @Barneyjo Рік тому +1

      Nevvvva!!!! 🏃‍♀️ 🦄

  • @MisstyG
    @MisstyG Рік тому +1

    None of these things deterred the narcissists that I know, in fact, they only escalated.

  • @fillistine
    @fillistine Рік тому +2

    Respect me

  • @dannymeske3821
    @dannymeske3821 Рік тому +1

    Your kinda love booming at the end there Rebecca...

  • @missybarnett5570
    @missybarnett5570 Рік тому +1

    Respect Me!

  • @cyndigooch1162
    @cyndigooch1162 Рік тому +1

    RESPECT ME!!! 🙋‍♀️

  • @user-cr4jp9hi2g
    @user-cr4jp9hi2g 6 місяців тому

    Respect me!

  • @bettybet6367
    @bettybet6367 Рік тому +1

    Respect me.

  • @marlenedempster6306
    @marlenedempster6306 18 днів тому

    Still can't find the Crush My Negotiation worksheet. The link only goess to an ad for another class.

  • @childofchrist7625
    @childofchrist7625 Рік тому +1

    "Respect me"!

  • @jgarrison014
    @jgarrison014 Рік тому +1

    Whatever! I use that all the time

  • @leticia_m_soto
    @leticia_m_soto Рік тому +2

    Respect me 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍

  • @GrowingInGoodness
    @GrowingInGoodness Рік тому +1

    Hey lady... no joke... do I have a situation with my ex... I need help... I need advice... This isn't just run of the mill... She was ruining my life using my daughterAnd hurting her in the process and I have all the proof that people need I just don't know what to do next because she's attacking me like crazy with messages and threats Of course which doesn't even scare me but it causes so much stress and tension while trying to co parent... I'll do anything I'm just a good dad that wants what is right and good and I feel defenseless because I don't have the knowledge I need

  • @lorilolli1516
    @lorilolli1516 Рік тому +1

    Respect me!!

  • @jet07son
    @jet07son Рік тому +1

    respect me

  • @daivaselmistraitiene4365
    @daivaselmistraitiene4365 Рік тому +1

    Respect me🌞

  • @GEORGECASTILLO
    @GEORGECASTILLO Рік тому +1

    Hello. I just Start new job in finance car dealer. new building new location in my home town but the older finance manager always take all the customers and deals. I talk to him very professional and explain that is not fair. talk to owner and owner of the dealer do not fix situation. we are equal as job title finance manager. but he claim been with same company for 8 years and he can do what ever he wants. owners promises to fix but nothing is done. any advise?

  • @Andikrnm8
    @Andikrnm8 Рік тому

    Respect me.

  • @dennismccole7255
    @dennismccole7255 Рік тому +1

    RESPECT MOI

  • @judi2176
    @judi2176 Рік тому +1

    Respect me!!!!!!

  • @ginabaker9764
    @ginabaker9764 Рік тому +1

    Respect me. That's an issue.

  • @mariemckeeman
    @mariemckeeman Рік тому

    I am currently facing Narcissistic coworker
    HR and upper Management have created an extremely Hostile work environment. New "Management., Has targeted me for whistleblowing and being in a labor Union l was a steward and I have successfully won grievances against management ( the new "management." Now I am being slandered, libeled. Management has "Flying monkeys." Who lie about me. This is the most hostile and toxic work environment. I am called into the meeting w/HR and upper Management.i am siloed, defamed and my coworkers whom I have known for years no longer interact w/me.I am trying to find an Employment Lawyer. I can't stand the disparate treatment. Coworkers are avoiding me. They are scared of this manager. He is micromanaging toxic bully. I am the only person to stand up for myself. Now I have a target on me. This guy has no idea what he is doing that is why he is micromanaging. Gotta look busy.

  • @elverdad6805
    @elverdad6805 Рік тому

    Thank you for this video!

  • @user-lw4bz8gk6l
    @user-lw4bz8gk6l Рік тому +1

    RESPECT ME

  • @uriaholsenpuna8017
    @uriaholsenpuna8017 Рік тому +1

    "RESPECT ME!"

  • @maryduran6868
    @maryduran6868 4 місяці тому

    Respect me

  • @margiesutherland7790
    @margiesutherland7790 Рік тому

    Respect me...

  • @starwize
    @starwize Рік тому

    Respect me

  • @ericwilson2907
    @ericwilson2907 Рік тому

    Very useful tools, they work !

  • @amethystseapaw9806
    @amethystseapaw9806 Рік тому

    N. Sister has a kid. She's teaching her to be like her! Neice even tried sum of them on me! I was like..."NOPE!". its so hard when you're alone. Had narc ppl raising my n sister n me. Now seeing how my n sister act. The evil and hate and jealousy of her! 🙀😤😿

  • @nelitzaamaro1882
    @nelitzaamaro1882 5 місяців тому

    Respect me❤❤❤❤

  • @chasemcdonald4073
    @chasemcdonald4073 Рік тому

    Preach Sister

  • @robertaturk
    @robertaturk Рік тому

    Tip from Sam Vaknin
    Just say SORRY.
    Never use the word “I”.
    It’s a trigger.
    Guess it’s a reminder you are a person while they regard you as a usable object.

  • @chasemcdonald4073
    @chasemcdonald4073 Рік тому

    Resect Me, Respect everyone

  • @lauracicero-miller3238
    @lauracicero-miller3238 Рік тому +1

    What if you are in a car? And they are coming for you?

  • @crimson-py1lq
    @crimson-py1lq Рік тому

    what if it's your mom, then what cause she litterly fights me on everything and is mad right now that i said we don't have any eyeliner in the house and she's like yes we do blah blah blah and it always ends in me screming her recorduing and trying to play victim that omg my daughter pulled a knife out on me otr she's screming at me but she doesn't show people all the things she does beforehand.

  • @lisahricko5344
    @lisahricko5344 Рік тому +1

    Please respect me.

  • @michael35241
    @michael35241 11 місяців тому +1

    3:37 "You're reclaiming your control" with a 'non-apology.'
    She is providing a list of simplistic manipulation techniques that narcissists use to control their victims, including stonewalling and devaluation/invalidation. These don't work with on a real narc. If you try using them you might find yourself abusing an innocent person

  • @joan992
    @joan992 Рік тому +1

    No does not work when they argue.

  • @lescar2582
    @lescar2582 Рік тому

    whatever....the #1 word. "whatever" to a narcissist means "I don't care what your little mind thinks"

  • @jamesjohnson9748
    @jamesjohnson9748 Рік тому

    Respect me. :)

  • @Surveilancepredators
    @Surveilancepredators Рік тому +1

    It won't get rid of scumbag stalker.

  • @danielskyles6184
    @danielskyles6184 Рік тому +2

    Good word Rebecca 👏

  • @kingbehemoth7821
    @kingbehemoth7821 Рік тому

    I can’t leave the narssisist because it’s my lively hood. They always talk about Killing and Murder. They never talk about anything good in their life.

  • @traciurban2510
    @traciurban2510 Рік тому +1

    Your wrong from the start… you never ever say your sorry to a narcissist.

  • @mollysilverman6803
    @mollysilverman6803 Рік тому +1

    I just say I refuse to engage. Bitch at someone else. Open to anything that can help!! 36 days sober; he HATES that. Went to the doctor today for ME. I have a horrible hernia, needs fixed asap, and knee replacement. Boy is he ticked off. Edit: after I say I refuse to engage, I walk away and have to go hide in my room. As I’m being kicked out, of course.

    • @hablin1
      @hablin1 Рік тому

      He would hate that because he’s not the centre of attention 😡

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  Рік тому

      Keep your ground, Molly. Stay strong and keep safe from the narcissist, too!

  • @kshalhoub
    @kshalhoub Рік тому

    respect me😐

  • @Veraconah
    @Veraconah Рік тому

    NOT a Lawyer in California where she lives

  • @etymologybykaren
    @etymologybykaren Рік тому +2

    🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @kingbehemoth7821
    @kingbehemoth7821 Рік тому

    Nothing you said works. The narssisist won’t shut up.

  • @chronic411
    @chronic411 7 місяців тому

    WTF

  • @jamesborton9237
    @jamesborton9237 Рік тому

    The first 3 minutes of this video is a total waste.

  • @Veraconah
    @Veraconah Рік тому

    Eyelash is falling off

  • @eandsm4620
    @eandsm4620 Рік тому

    RESPECT ME!

  • @raymondclapsadle9310
    @raymondclapsadle9310 Рік тому

    Respect me!

  • @P1nkBanj0
    @P1nkBanj0 8 місяців тому

    Respect me!

  • @COOLCARIBBEAN
    @COOLCARIBBEAN Рік тому +1

    respect me

  • @dameech6697
    @dameech6697 Рік тому +1

    Respect Me!

  • @annnance6504
    @annnance6504 Рік тому +1

    Respect me

  • @Rod81111
    @Rod81111 Рік тому +1

    RESPECT ME

  • @marshaworthy3453
    @marshaworthy3453 11 місяців тому

    Respect me