being honest: i highly suspect i have aspd and i clicked here looking for help. i am so very tired of living this way. acting is exhausting, everything is just something i do to fill an empty day. I'm sick of feeling empty all the time, it is driving me insane. i brought it up w a late therapist of mine because i was worried over consequences for any future escalating behaviours, but i had unintentionally charmed her too much and she refused to believe that i had no capacity for guilt or remorse. how do i seek help for something that is so stigmatised, where many therapists have disdain for us? how do we even get cured? aren't we just taught to become better actors? is there any way out?
I am a sociopath. I have been in therapy and on medication since I was a child. I was heavily abused as a child and my father was also suffering from the same mental illness, as well my mother has delusions/anxiety. I have learned to be honest, and I would argue that i have been able to learn cognitive empathy. I believe I am a success case of treatment. I was indeed first forced into therapy via court order, during my parents divorce CPS took note of my mental issues and expressed concerns. Officially my diagnosis is ASPD, PTSD, Major depressive disorder, and anxiety disorder. I have always struggled with anger issues but I also have been more self destructive. I tried to off myself as a teen and failed. I still worry about hurting people that I love, and make a conscientious effort every day to make the right choices. I choose to be kind, honest and try to live my life in way that allows for genuine relationships. I fear the way the world looks at those of us with ASPD as animals waiting for an opportunity to snap. I believe if the signs are caught in your teen years and you get the proper mental health treatment that anyone with ASPD can live a proper life, however I often felt that people looked down on me or where inherently afraid of me. I felt like a robot or an alien, like I had to learn how to be human. We are people too. Broken people often with dark pasts that need extra care and handling. Even though I would consider myself to be a success case I still experience difficulties holding jobs and maintaining long term friendships. I am 26 years old and am lucky to have both a girlfriend and boyfriend (we are polyamorous) I also care for my grandfather as he was my best parental figure. Ironically I would say please remember to be empathetic to those with ASPD, you might be scared of us, but we are scared of the entire world and our selves too. I just want to live a normal happy life without feeling like a failure/freak. I am afraid to have children because of this. Feel free to ask me questions if you want, and please keep it polite.
I am a woman, 44, and was ”loosely diagnosed” with ASPD when I was 22. I was a heroin addict at the time, and am Still on methadone. I also only got into drugs at 17 and stealing at 18. I’ve never been violent. I was a shy and kind kid. And have used reason, logic and hopefully charm to get out of legal trouble; have never been in prison. My first child was born when I was 26. I noticed I couldnt/didnt bond with her the way other Mom’s did. I find that when my second child was born when I was 38 something totally changed. I fell in love with her straight away. I am trying to build that with my first daughter now, too. But she’s already 19, she’s highly intelligent and will probably do well in life. She doesn’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. I’ve watched uploads and read a lot of books on sociopathy and anti-social pd, and I recognize all the traits in both me, and my husband (who, however, doesn’t live with me and our daughter, but close by). However, I Do Love my daughters and my Mom, and I cry, especially at funerals of my age to younger people so easily. Might be because at 23 I lost my ”other half”/”irish twin” little brother to an overdose. I am articulate (English is my 3rd language, so it might not seem so writing this, lol), and I get really upset when things don’t go my way, esp. when I’ve, imo, made a very logical argument. I steal (never from friends or private persons though, and only if I am Sure I wont be caught. I do feel mildly bad about it. I wonder if they totally wrongly diagnosed me, because I def. love, and have never been violent.??!? Happy Holidays!
You literally just told my boyfriend's story but from a female's perspective. He also has an ASPD diagnosis. He was diagnosed in prison, and he was there for drug charges (selling heroin) and retail thefts (SO many of them!). He is on MAT too - but Suboxone instead of Methadone. I don't want to say that's he's never been violent because I've seen him get angry enough to fight someone, and he broke his hand & got his head split open from a prison fight. However, if he has resorted to violence in the past, he was most likely reacting & not the one inciting violence. He is very small in stature due to a growth hormone deficiency, and we think that his small build was why he wasn't outwardly violent. He's also incredibly intelligent & can do WAY more damage if he uses his brain & his words versus using his fists. I don't think that this lack of violence means that the diagnosis is incorrect as long as the individual still displays antisocial behaviors (or has a tendency to think or act antisocially). My boyfriend definitely has the antisocial behaviors still - we see the world so differently. I like routine & order, so I follow & enforce the rules. He, however, has a strong dislike for any authority figure (cops, boss, manager - basically anyone that has some sort of superiority or power over him). My boyfriend also has 2 children, but the older one was adopted & just isn't someone he thinks of, but he absolutely adores our son. And then the other similarity was that he lost his Irish Twin too, and that was the catalyst for change in his life. He lost his sister and we had our son a month later. So crazy how similar your stories are. I have a UA-cam channel if you want to come see some videos about his ASPD - i have an older one and a newer one we just did.
meganeff My first daughter was born in 2000, my brother died in ’99...! So that, too! I have never ever admitted these things I wrote here to anyone, or anywhere, and actually came here to delete my comment and then I saw your comment! I wanted to delete it, because I don’t want to take any risks in somebody connecting it to me (esp. not my daughter; don’t want to hurt her feelings. Obviously I love her, the connect just wasnt there straight away, like it usually is, and was with my second child who I had at...38-39?) ....I will def go to your page and check out the vids, and subscribe! Thanks for replying!
@@ntactime_w3488 honestly they won't help us. Most people are just going to say we're completely heartless and more than likely going to kill someone. We can only help ourselves
After seeing this video I can definitely say I know several persons possessing these characteristics. Not caring about what they do or say, no regard for right or wrong, purposely angering others or cruelly manipulating them, behaving violently or impulsively without remorse is truly disconcerting to me. I understand why this disorder is a challenge for therapists.
The statement that ASPD can be treated is really intriguing... With a patient who can lie like there's no tomorrow, how can a therapist ever feel that there is therapeutic alliance? I have heard about a successful treatment of youths with hard cases of Callous Unemotional traits in the Mendota Juvenile Treatment Center Program in Wisconsin, but that center seems to be like a very labor-intensive 24 hr/day supervision of those recalcitrant youths where a lot of mental health professionals - both clinical and forensic - smother relatively few young offenders with kindness . I am really not being sarcastic here: their "Decompression Treatment" seems like a lot of supportive psychotherapy and general clinical attention directed at these youths all the time. That treatment does seem to work (they claim a 50% reduction of recidivism of the youths after the treatment), but that is an experimental one-off approach, and not even to ASPD, but to their under-18 counterparts. Do you think that clinicians should even attempt to treat ASPD patients outside a hospital or prison setting?
Thanks for sharing this information. Sometimes it can be a challenge working with this population. Keep up the good work of presenting this information to us.
There is still more to be known. My sister's granddaughter is in her 20's and has 2 little girls, she seems to have been easily bored at a very young age, needed some kind of stimulant but as you say, their motivation is low. She is homeless now, I'm helping feed the kids, trying to get her into routines that she never learnt in the first place off her mother
This is a great video! Good explanation of why this disorder is so hard to treat. It's also interesting that it is co-morbid with Substance Use Disorder
Im a 34 year old psychopath, but i manage to stop being a lyer and now im way brutally honest where i just say what in my mind regardless if i end up hurting someone's feelings. I lack empathy, I can't be in a relationship because I can't stand being nice or a gentleman unless im lucky enough to meet a psychopath chick like me. Yes i am shallow af when come to having a relationship. I feel fake if i try to be nice and i feel better if just be myself which is being obnoxious, make mean jokes and be full of myself. Is that call being a narcissist? Oh man im screwed cause i always felt left out from society but then again i always wish that one day i wake up and every humans disappear except for me and all the shopping mall are still open. Man that would be nice....
Well I can definitely see why treating this disorder is so complicated. The comorbidity with Substance Use and Cluster B disorders makes it difficult to treat the symptoms associated with antisocial personality disorder.
This is another informative video, and I appreciate the fact that you posted it. I work as a Behavioral Health Support Specialist and recently supported a client with APD in a state funded home operating under an organization whose primary function was providing group homes and support to the IDD community. I found myself in a situation which was worsening consistently and given that I am also a full time student living in a rather dysfunctional home environment, I eventually found that I lacked the patience and skill set necessary to resolve these issues simultaneously and chose to leave the company. I have since been deeply concerned with how it is that I may accrue greater hope and confidence in working with this population, so that (after straightening out personal issues) I could potentially work with this population again if necessary. Do you have any suggested readings I might consult as a start?
I choose to live in my world and treat the outside world as my neighbor. I adapt to my surroundings. By being observant and logical, a person with ASPD won't do anything too harm themselves. Unless it's to achieve a goal of some sort. I used to go to the hospital so I didn't have to be home. By any means necessary. I knew by law my mom had to take me. We can learn cognitive empathy, and reflect off others emotions by observing their body language. We all still have a choice to call it a disability or great power.
Is there any sort of "empathy immersion" program that you know of? I wonder because it seems like that could help with treating antisocial personality disorder and/or with treating characterological domestic violence abusers. Of note, I am a counseling student intern working with domestic violence batterers, so I am interested in an empathy immersion-type program and what that might look like. Thanks for all your hard work making the educational videos.
Dr.Grande I was hoping connect with you. I have a sister who was just recently diagnosed with antisocial disorder, bipolar with schzio-affect disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, major depressive disorder with psychosis. She has little ones that are currently staying with their dad while she was in treatment. She is planning on getting the kids back but is in no shape to have the kids. What can be done to prevent her from getting the kids?
this is a domain of illness that is almost impossible in most counties to diagnose someone in general from my experience in the country I am from personalities disorders are almost never diagnosed by psychologists/psychiatrists a person may have borderline p.d and they diagnose bipolar only .I have encountered cases of people I know that clearly have lower empathy than they used to have I believe that all people in our times have a lower empathy towards others except for there close to them their family a lack of empathy and narcissism is a characteristic of modern society especially induced by the social media for example Facebook and especially [for the women] Instagram I may be wrong but the concept of lack of care increased selfcenteredness are things that are growing like an epidemic in the human race these days still I might be wrong but how can you care for others when nobody cares for you today?
Its honestly pretty simple to treat. People who have ASPD have a weak level of emotion or heart. The way you treat this is to build up that emotion/heart. In order to do this they will need to experience life and gather key experiences that help level that up. It will often involve other people and finding ways to connect, understand, and grow with others. Understanding different perspectives, learning people's stories and their struggles in life, gaining a sense of empathy thru understanding and learning from others. There is no magic pill to fix this. You will need to do it the hard way which is experience life and hopefully pass key challenges that will grow your heart.
Thank you Doctor for explaining what happened to some baby boomers in their college years. Anti social personalities mixed in on college campuses, and caused very young college kids damage. My youngest college friend was 16, and I was just barely 18. I took a college class after school my Junior year, but they came to our high school. I spent most of my time on campus trying to find a broom closet with a light in it to hide from their personalities. It became a skill.
Some people say Schizoids and narcissistic PD are the same. Can you explain the difference and why they are so similar yet so different? would be greatly appreciated! love ur vids man keep the good work
being honest: i highly suspect i have aspd and i clicked here looking for help. i am so very tired of living this way. acting is exhausting, everything is just something i do to fill an empty day. I'm sick of feeling empty all the time, it is driving me insane.
i brought it up w a late therapist of mine because i was worried over consequences for any future escalating behaviours, but i had unintentionally charmed her too much and she refused to believe that i had no capacity for guilt or remorse. how do i seek help for something that is so stigmatised, where many therapists have disdain for us? how do we even get cured? aren't we just taught to become better actors? is there any way out?
I am a sociopath. I have been in therapy and on medication since I was a child. I was heavily abused as a child and my father was also suffering from the same mental illness, as well my mother has delusions/anxiety. I have learned to be honest, and I would argue that i have been able to learn cognitive empathy. I believe I am a success case of treatment.
I was indeed first forced into therapy via court order, during my parents divorce CPS took note of my mental issues and expressed concerns.
Officially my diagnosis is ASPD, PTSD, Major depressive disorder, and anxiety disorder.
I have always struggled with anger issues but I also have been more self destructive.
I tried to off myself as a teen and failed.
I still worry about hurting people that I love, and make a conscientious effort every day to make the right choices.
I choose to be kind, honest and try to live my life in way that allows for genuine relationships.
I fear the way the world looks at those of us with ASPD as animals waiting for an opportunity to snap.
I believe if the signs are caught in your teen years and you get the proper mental health treatment that anyone with ASPD can live a proper life, however I often felt that people looked down on me or where inherently afraid of me. I felt like a robot or an alien, like I had to learn how to be human.
We are people too. Broken people often with dark pasts that need extra care and handling.
Even though I would consider myself to be a success case I still experience difficulties holding jobs and maintaining long term friendships.
I am 26 years old and am lucky to have both a girlfriend and boyfriend (we are polyamorous) I also care for my grandfather as he was my best parental figure.
Ironically I would say please remember to be empathetic to those with ASPD, you might be scared of us, but we are scared of the entire world and our selves too.
I just want to live a normal happy life without feeling like a failure/freak.
I am afraid to have children because of this.
Feel free to ask me questions if you want, and please keep it polite.
I am a woman, 44, and was ”loosely diagnosed” with ASPD when I was 22. I was a heroin addict at the time, and am Still on methadone. I also only got into drugs at 17 and stealing at 18. I’ve never been violent. I was a shy and kind kid. And have used reason, logic and hopefully charm to get out of legal trouble; have never been in prison. My first child was born when I was 26. I noticed I couldnt/didnt bond with her the way other Mom’s did. I find that when my second child was born when I was 38 something totally changed. I fell in love with her straight away. I am trying to build that with my first daughter now, too. But she’s already 19, she’s highly intelligent and will probably do well in life. She doesn’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. I’ve watched uploads and read a lot of books on sociopathy and anti-social pd, and I recognize all the traits in both me, and my husband (who, however, doesn’t live with me and our daughter, but close by). However, I Do Love my daughters and my Mom, and I cry, especially at funerals of my age to younger people so easily. Might be because at 23 I lost my ”other half”/”irish twin” little brother to an overdose. I am articulate (English is my 3rd language, so it might not seem so writing this, lol), and I get really upset when things don’t go my way, esp. when I’ve, imo, made a very logical argument. I steal (never from friends or private persons though, and only if I am Sure I wont be caught. I do feel mildly bad about it. I wonder if they totally wrongly diagnosed me, because I def. love, and have never been violent.??!?
Happy Holidays!
You literally just told my boyfriend's story but from a female's perspective. He also has an ASPD diagnosis. He was diagnosed in prison, and he was there for drug charges (selling heroin) and retail thefts (SO many of them!). He is on MAT too - but Suboxone instead of Methadone. I don't want to say that's he's never been violent because I've seen him get angry enough to fight someone, and he broke his hand & got his head split open from a prison fight. However, if he has resorted to violence in the past, he was most likely reacting & not the one inciting violence. He is very small in stature due to a growth hormone deficiency, and we think that his small build was why he wasn't outwardly violent. He's also incredibly intelligent & can do WAY more damage if he uses his brain & his words versus using his fists. I don't think that this lack of violence means that the diagnosis is incorrect as long as the individual still displays antisocial behaviors (or has a tendency to think or act antisocially). My boyfriend definitely has the antisocial behaviors still - we see the world so differently. I like routine & order, so I follow & enforce the rules. He, however, has a strong dislike for any authority figure (cops, boss, manager - basically anyone that has some sort of superiority or power over him). My boyfriend also has 2 children, but the older one was adopted & just isn't someone he thinks of, but he absolutely adores our son. And then the other similarity was that he lost his Irish Twin too, and that was the catalyst for change in his life. He lost his sister and we had our son a month later. So crazy how similar your stories are.
I have a UA-cam channel if you want to come see some videos about his ASPD - i have an older one and a newer one we just did.
meganeff My first daughter was born in 2000, my brother died in ’99...! So that, too! I have never ever admitted these things I wrote here to anyone, or anywhere, and actually came here to delete my comment and then I saw your comment! I wanted to delete it, because I don’t want to take any risks in somebody connecting it to me (esp. not my daughter; don’t want to hurt her feelings. Obviously I love her, the connect just wasnt there straight away, like it usually is, and was with my second child who I had at...38-39?) ....I will def go to your page and check out the vids, and subscribe! Thanks for replying!
Just behave in an acceptable manner is a solution for society but how does the individual live a meaningful life.
Ok, how do i make it stop! I know the facts been diagnosed but no solution? Acting better is just another mask. How do i not be empty?
John Snow - this is why i am also here to figure that out
@@ntactime_w3488 honestly they won't help us. Most people are just going to say we're completely heartless and more than likely going to kill someone. We can only help ourselves
I was able to work with this population during my undergraduate internship at Connections. It was a great learning experience!
Connections? The corrections.
I enjoy that before you explain the purpose of the video, you break down definitions of what the factors are that are involved.
After seeing this video I can definitely say I know several persons possessing these characteristics. Not caring about what they do or say, no regard for right or wrong, purposely angering others or cruelly manipulating them, behaving violently or impulsively without remorse is truly disconcerting to me. I understand why this disorder is a challenge for therapists.
The statement that ASPD can be treated is really intriguing... With a patient who can lie like there's no tomorrow, how can a therapist ever feel that there is therapeutic alliance? I have heard about a successful treatment of youths with hard cases of Callous Unemotional traits in the Mendota Juvenile Treatment Center Program in Wisconsin, but that center seems to be like a very labor-intensive 24 hr/day supervision of those recalcitrant youths where a lot of mental health professionals - both clinical and forensic - smother relatively few young offenders with kindness . I am really not being sarcastic here: their "Decompression Treatment" seems like a lot of supportive psychotherapy and general clinical attention directed at these youths all the time. That treatment does seem to work (they claim a 50% reduction of recidivism of the youths after the treatment), but that is an experimental one-off approach, and not even to ASPD, but to their under-18 counterparts. Do you think that clinicians should even attempt to treat ASPD patients outside a hospital or prison setting?
Thanks for sharing this information. Sometimes it can be a challenge working with this population. Keep up the good work of presenting this information to us.
You're welcome! - Thank you so much for the kind words!
you said cluster b improves over time but countless times ive read that narcisissts get worse over time.
This video has a lot of good information included, this is a good video.
Cluster B Comorbidity…
Imagine the internal struggles for someone diagnosed with both Antisocial and Borderline…
There is still more to be known. My sister's granddaughter is in her 20's and has 2 little girls, she seems to have been easily bored at a very young age, needed some kind of stimulant but as you say, their motivation is low. She is homeless now, I'm helping feed the kids, trying to get her into routines that she never learnt in the first place off her mother
This is a great video! Good explanation of why this disorder is so hard to treat. It's also interesting that it is co-morbid with Substance Use Disorder
Im a 34 year old psychopath, but i manage to stop being a lyer and now im way brutally honest where i just say what in my mind regardless if i end up hurting someone's feelings. I lack empathy, I can't be in a relationship because I can't stand being nice or a gentleman unless im lucky enough to meet a psychopath chick like me. Yes i am shallow af when come to having a relationship. I feel fake if i try to be nice and i feel better if just be myself which is being obnoxious, make mean jokes and be full of myself. Is that call being a narcissist? Oh man im screwed cause i always felt left out from society but then again i always wish that one day i wake up and every humans disappear except for me and all the shopping mall are still open. Man that would be nice....
Well I can definitely see why treating this disorder is so complicated. The
comorbidity with Substance Use and Cluster B disorders makes it difficult to
treat the symptoms associated with antisocial personality disorder.
Dr. Todd, please help me. I’m desperate 😰😰😰😰😰😰
Your channel is dope🔥. Helping me in last minute revision for exams. Keep making video on psychology ☺️
This is another informative video, and I appreciate the fact that you posted it. I work as a Behavioral Health Support Specialist and recently supported a client with APD in a state funded home operating under an organization whose primary function was providing group homes and support to the IDD community. I found myself in a situation which was worsening consistently and given that I am also a full time student living in a rather dysfunctional home environment, I eventually found that I lacked the patience and skill set necessary to resolve these issues simultaneously and chose to leave the company. I have since been deeply concerned with how it is that I may accrue greater hope and confidence in working with this population, so that (after straightening out personal issues) I could potentially work with this population again if necessary. Do you have any suggested readings I might consult as a start?
I can see how each of the factors of measures, treatment focus, therapist bias, and client motivation can affect outcomes.
I choose to live in my world and treat the outside world as my neighbor. I adapt to my surroundings. By being observant and logical, a person with ASPD won't do anything too harm themselves. Unless it's to achieve a goal of some sort. I used to go to the hospital so I didn't have to be home. By any means necessary. I knew by law my mom had to take me. We can learn cognitive empathy, and reflect off others emotions by observing their body language. We all still have a choice to call it a disability or great power.
Great video Doctor Grande :) Thank you! Is ASPD the only reason for complete moral disengagement?
Is there any sort of "empathy immersion" program that you know of? I wonder because it seems like that could help with treating antisocial personality disorder and/or with treating characterological domestic violence abusers. Of note, I am a counseling student intern working with domestic violence batterers, so I am interested in an empathy immersion-type program and what that might look like. Thanks for all your hard work making the educational videos.
Does he have a video on the treatment of Avpd?
5.25 about bias. Spot on.
Dr.Grande I was hoping connect with you. I have a sister who was just recently diagnosed with antisocial disorder, bipolar with schzio-affect disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, major depressive disorder with psychosis. She has little ones that are currently staying with their dad while she was in treatment. She is planning on getting the kids back but is in no shape to have the kids. What can be done to prevent her from getting the kids?
this is a domain of illness that is almost impossible in most counties to diagnose someone in general from my experience in the country I am from personalities disorders are almost never diagnosed by psychologists/psychiatrists a person may have borderline p.d and they diagnose bipolar only .I have encountered cases of people I know that clearly have lower empathy than they used to have I believe that all people in our times have a lower empathy towards others except for there close to them their family a lack of empathy and narcissism is a characteristic of modern society especially induced by the social media for example Facebook and especially [for the women] Instagram I may be wrong but the concept of lack of care increased selfcenteredness are things that are growing like an epidemic in the human race these days still I might be wrong but how can you care for others when nobody cares for you today?
Its honestly pretty simple to treat. People who have ASPD have a weak level of emotion or heart. The way you treat this is to build up that emotion/heart. In order to do this they will need to experience life and gather key experiences that help level that up. It will often involve other people and finding ways to connect, understand, and grow with others. Understanding different perspectives, learning people's stories and their struggles in life, gaining a sense of empathy thru understanding and learning from others. There is no magic pill to fix this. You will need to do it the hard way which is experience life and hopefully pass key challenges that will grow your heart.
Do you have any relationship advice for Factor 1's?
Where can I find a reference list for this information?
Thank you Doctor for explaining what happened to some baby boomers in their college years. Anti social personalities mixed in on college campuses, and caused very young college kids damage. My youngest college friend was 16, and I was just barely 18. I took a college class after school my Junior year, but they came to our high school. I spent most of my time on campus trying to find a broom closet with a light in it to hide from their personalities. It became a skill.
What about those with BPD and ASPD?
Some people say Schizoids and narcissistic PD are the same. Can you explain the difference and why they are so similar yet so different? would be greatly appreciated! love ur vids man keep the good work
Hey you're the stats guy! I recognize the voice.
LOL
Prisoners mainly have PTS, labels suck
This is crap, I meet a psychopath who only has 3 traits
My psychiatrist referred me off to a forensic psychiatrist after a year. I never went…..it took me forever to find the one I wanted.