Jake and Amir: Social Distance Scroll

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  • Опубліковано 30 бер 2020
  • Amir returns Jake's call. Five years later.
    HeadGum is a podcast network by Jake & Amir and friends. Check us out at www.headgum.com.
    » SUBSCRIBE to HeadGum: / headgum
    » FOLLOW us on Twitter: / headgum
    » FOLLOW us on Instagram: / headgum
    Musical assets sampled from the album "Richie" by Outasight.
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,8 тис.

  • @emuccino
    @emuccino 4 роки тому +5361

    I would pay, like, a bad amount of money for more Jake and Amir.

    • @AndrewPonti
      @AndrewPonti 4 роки тому +101

      Yes, like.... a really bad amount

    • @carlton3363
      @carlton3363 4 роки тому +81

      Any amount of money would be a bad amount of money

    • @Randy-en5zz
      @Randy-en5zz 4 роки тому +59

      What's a bad amount of money?

    • @ConnorDawkins
      @ConnorDawkins 4 роки тому +109

      @@Randy-en5zz like the worst amount

    • @daaaayyumm3214
      @daaaayyumm3214 4 роки тому +24

      like... the worst amount

  • @liameisenhaur3873
    @liameisenhaur3873 4 роки тому +3114

    This is a funny premise, I bet they could turn this into a web series. I might be low balling it, but they could get 800 episodes out of it easy.

    • @Bestovius
      @Bestovius 4 роки тому +18

      i love u liam

    • @Spacialjones
      @Spacialjones 4 роки тому +28

      maybe even a movie. that good.

    • @terrencewilliams9582
      @terrencewilliams9582 4 роки тому +80

      It would be even better if one of them was like obsessed with the other one, or like a food product. Like chicken nuggets or something.

    • @Ninterd2
      @Ninterd2 4 роки тому +44

      Yeah, and then to switch it up a bit every once in a while to keep the concept fresh, maybe that Jake dude could be an asshole to Amir. But let's see where this is heading first.

    • @dwakeling1
      @dwakeling1 4 роки тому +7

      ua-cam.com/video/dYh0qnMRHP0/v-deo.html

  • @alisonutter1498
    @alisonutter1498 4 роки тому +2003

    I never thought I would see the words "Jake and Amir" and such a recent timestamp ever again. Sheesh yall. Tis a dream.

  • @knapper111
    @knapper111 4 роки тому +1236

    The return of Jake & Amir huh? Only one way to celebrate. We’re going
    D I C K L E S S F O R M I C H A E L C H I K L I S

    • @kipkipful
      @kipkipful 4 роки тому +6

      HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY HENRY

    • @DeathDragon99a
      @DeathDragon99a 4 роки тому +16

      I’ll do it for the uptokes

    • @john_doeherty
      @john_doeherty 4 роки тому +7

      i made out with *cousin.* on a *tuesday*

    • @antonsavosin75
      @antonsavosin75 4 роки тому +1

      Time to celebrate with a simple rosé

    • @tycho_m
      @tycho_m 4 роки тому +1

      don't forget to butt chug some clorox to impress Michael J. Fox. That's right, 1.21 gigawatts of disinfectant straight up your doc Brown!

  • @genghisconn7770
    @genghisconn7770 4 роки тому +3521

    Now that college humor is goin the way of Pat’s parents there’s no one left to sue you over infringing on the Jake and Amir name. Very cool - very legal.

    • @othnielmarsh8942
      @othnielmarsh8942 4 роки тому +254

      Luke Connolly I’m crying tears of soy.

    • @brian3634
      @brian3634 4 роки тому +150

      This is such a Glocal thing to do. Technically not illegal, that's for sure.

    • @Strummie
      @Strummie 4 роки тому +129

      CollegeHumor is dying like Sam’s parents... in a plane crash.

    • @Vacated204
      @Vacated204 4 роки тому +77

      I'm Guessing Reich gave them his blessing, what a pansy

    • @MajorMatthias
      @MajorMatthias 4 роки тому +44

      @@Strummie *theydiedinaplanecrash*

  • @jennamcfly
    @jennamcfly 4 роки тому +2041

    This makes me way too happy to see their names and the word “scroll”. Maybe 2020 isn’t complete shit

    • @Nate_Soul
      @Nate_Soul 4 роки тому +6

      I know right im so happy to see more jake and amir scroll videos 😍

    • @hussain.darwesh
      @hussain.darwesh 4 роки тому +2

      Your statement makes me want you to run for office in your country 👌

    • @takatotakasui8307
      @takatotakasui8307 4 роки тому +1

      I never dared dream we'd see new Jake and Amirs.

    • @hussain.darwesh
      @hussain.darwesh 4 роки тому +2

      @@takatotakasui8307 they came out when we needed them most

    • @davidslade3612
      @davidslade3612 4 роки тому +1

      @@hussain.darwesh Sure that isnt because shes a girl and you're desparate?

  • @meanbeanmachine
    @meanbeanmachine 4 роки тому +644

    The messed up part is that Amir knew this would happen. He knew that as soon as he did something cute and subjective Jake would turn it into this this this this this this nuclear bomb of him.

  • @ritikakumar81
    @ritikakumar81 4 роки тому +1600

    The fact that they did an OG J&A for us in this this this POISON of a year...it's amazeballs for lack of a better term.

    • @MlRAAK
      @MlRAAK 4 роки тому +49

      This this this this poison of a year

    • @markkittel44
      @markkittel44 4 роки тому +33

      Stop saying poison.

    • @123ada321
      @123ada321 4 роки тому +43

      We deserve so much more than this

    • @Varooooooom
      @Varooooooom 4 роки тому +8

      for he has the anus of a god

    • @theramo0
      @theramo0 4 роки тому +25

      I think we all need to create our own reality and stop waiting for happiness. It’s only by creating that that that that that that that joy that we can be in the zone.

  • @DannyBellTheAuthor
    @DannyBellTheAuthor 4 роки тому +612

    Jake broke almost immediately.

    • @atonshabazz-bey911
      @atonshabazz-bey911 4 роки тому +40

      It took less than a minute for him to break.. I missed this

    • @yeahk241
      @yeahk241 4 роки тому +107

      They call him one take Jake for a reason.

    • @GalaxyRay
      @GalaxyRay 4 роки тому +19

      One Take Jake in full force!

    • @theultimatechaser
      @theultimatechaser 4 роки тому +9

      Honestly, I can see how dealing with amir in real life would have me react the same way. Some people are so simultaneously mean and dumb you can't help but laugh as you navigate their bullshit

    • @TheEtceteraEtcetera
      @TheEtceteraEtcetera 4 роки тому +2

      One 👏 take 👏 Jake 👏

  • @nohaybanda3061
    @nohaybanda3061 4 роки тому +847

    hey, you’re watching Jake and Amir. Like you’re actually watching Jake and Amir

    • @dionneelsayed3890
      @dionneelsayed3890 4 роки тому +17

      No Hay Banda if the world had to end for this to happen... good.

    • @sandermand4ever
      @sandermand4ever 4 роки тому +3

      @@dionneelsayed3890 Exactly. It's worth it

    • @jackc913
      @jackc913 4 роки тому +6

      Somehow this comment sort of gave me goosebumps

    • @lalaicyling8429
      @lalaicyling8429 4 роки тому +2

      All we need is an intro and it would be perfect

    • @gbird.
      @gbird. 4 роки тому +1

      Jake and amoosh

  • @neontime8507
    @neontime8507 4 роки тому +539

    “I ate out my mailman in quarantine!”
    “Ate him out?”
    “The point is I quarantine!”
    “With your mailman?”

    • @WillToWinvlog
      @WillToWinvlog 4 роки тому +16

      go diklis for chiklis for that joke

    • @psolo3
      @psolo3 4 роки тому +33

      He obviously forgot to mention that he was robotripping

    • @allysongray91
      @allysongray91 4 роки тому +7

      Knowing Jake, it would probably be his mom or something (he's already been with his cousin, dad and brother after all!)

    • @darkgames3477
      @darkgames3477 4 роки тому +11

      Tell him when it was, it was on tuesday the 5th busiest day for the mailman

  • @anonymousspaceperson6667
    @anonymousspaceperson6667 4 роки тому +58

    I'm shocked that Amir didn't just show up at Jake's house in March and be like "guess what we're quarantining together" before locking them in and throwing away the keys

  • @diapermoney9545
    @diapermoney9545 4 роки тому +517

    “We’re back.”- Amir Raisin Quomo IX

    • @justinz9225
      @justinz9225 4 роки тому +33

      Cuomo, as in governer of New York.

    • @diapermoney9545
      @diapermoney9545 4 роки тому +16

      Justin Z Sorrow

    • @ThePantheons
      @ThePantheons 4 роки тому +4

      Cuomo you simp lol, I'm not even American and I got that ref

    • @realbland
      @realbland 4 роки тому +2

      Cuomo

    • @chilldude30
      @chilldude30 4 роки тому +4

      @@justinz9225Yeah, that joke was partly political...

  • @chriss4855
    @chriss4855 4 роки тому +275

    i more than deserved this, i earned it

  • @go_gorilla_go
    @go_gorilla_go 4 роки тому +322

    Seeing all these random Jake and Amir quotes in the comments makes me so happy. You are my people. Speaking of which...why rob people when you can change your name to Robert People?

    • @dixiecronin7791
      @dixiecronin7791 4 роки тому +3

      Hi, my name's Rob. Rob People.

    • @AnaLongoriaXX
      @AnaLongoriaXX 4 роки тому +1

      You’re our boy 😌😌😌

    • @darkgames3477
      @darkgames3477 4 роки тому +3

      How does that get you money?

    • @AirBulletin
      @AirBulletin 3 роки тому +1

      how would u like to open a potery store with me ?

  • @DenderFriend
    @DenderFriend 4 роки тому +100

    I love that not only did they decide to bring back classic Jake and Amir, but they're also putting it within the canon of the timeline by stating that this takes place five years after the finale.
    Here's hoping this isnt just a one-time thing, and that you guys now own the rights to Jake and Amir to do as you please.

    • @OnionKnightRises
      @OnionKnightRises 3 роки тому +8

      It's so weird that there's the possibility of someone not owning characters that are based on themselves, even if it's just loosely based.

    • @condor237
      @condor237 Рік тому +3

      They said on the patreon that they now have full ownership of all rights Jake and Amir since CollegeHumor fell apart as a company

    • @DenderFriend
      @DenderFriend Рік тому

      @@condor237 I did post this two years ago so I think you can assume I did not know this

    • @altidego989
      @altidego989 Рік тому +1

      @@DenderFriendthat’s probably why he told you

  • @Fetidaf
    @Fetidaf 4 роки тому +269

    So in 5 years; Amir learned how to pronounce "Meme"... and that's it

    • @zama422
      @zama422 4 роки тому +12

      nhuKer “uh it’s mem-ay”

  • @JackJN
    @JackJN 4 роки тому +221

    Jake and Amir are back? I'm beefing, for real I'm crying tears of soy

  • @jamstahjam
    @jamstahjam 4 роки тому +32

    "You were always good at figuring out the themes of shit" already a classic.

  • @Cyranek
    @Cyranek 4 роки тому +401

    what year is it

    • @Sprightey
      @Sprightey 3 роки тому

      LAURAAAAA

    • @revilo3793
      @revilo3793 3 роки тому +2

      why are you here

    • @Sprightey
      @Sprightey 3 роки тому +1

      @@revilo3793 what year is it

    • @revilo3793
      @revilo3793 3 роки тому

      @@Sprightey I was replying to Cyranek lol

    • @Sprightey
      @Sprightey 3 роки тому +2

      @@revilo3793 what year is it

  • @xbaker3868
    @xbaker3868 4 роки тому +688

    Of all the celebrities that have come out during this crisis, these two are the only ones that have my attention. The legends are back!

  • @loganmorrison4677
    @loganmorrison4677 4 роки тому +492

    “What a dark, sad, negative, bad suggestion. It shouldn’t be on this list.”
    “Well it’s number 5”

    • @JaxonBurn
      @JaxonBurn 4 роки тому +14

      “I don’t think it beats murdering Kevin Bacon”

    • @gio.romero
      @gio.romero 4 роки тому +5

      "Uh, interesting... it's actually a good note... I might take it into consideration"

    • @caasttroo
      @caasttroo 4 роки тому +3

      "okay, and you'll what? Change it? Whats the point? Who are you changing it?"

    • @climbitclimate
      @climbitclimate 4 роки тому +3

      one second- I'm just tryna... get a birds eye view on the thing

  • @allysanimalchannel
    @allysanimalchannel 4 роки тому +105

    COUGH ON A MICE AND SAY "ALL RICE"

    • @nukiradio
      @nukiradio 3 роки тому +3

      Nice

    • @Ranger1812
      @Ranger1812 3 роки тому

      Other animals don't belong in the entertainment industry. They're not props to use on a set. Not only is it extremely stressful for them, and wild animals are abused until they submit to human will, but how dare you deprive them of their life. Elephants that do tricks and give rides aren't happy. They do it out of fear of what happens if they refuse. Swimming with dolphins isn't fun. It's extremely stressful for them, and leads to them catching diseases. They're viewed as tools for profit, nothing else.
      Other animals being scared isn't funny or cute, it's horrible. Humans can understand it afterwards, that's why it's funny. Other animals can't. You're exploiting your power over them. You're evil.
      Anthropomorphising other animals is evil. It's saying other animals aren't good enough as they are, they need to be more human-like, and ignoring how other animals actually feel, leaving then to suffer whilst you revel in their stress and fear and confusion.
      Hagrid didn't support using dragons in the Triwizard Tournament. That's horrific abuse. They were kidnapped, sent across the world, trapped in tiny cages they could barely move in, stabbed and hit with spells, and made to feel threatened and attacked whilst chained up in an arena surrounded by screaming humans. They were kidnapped, enslaved, exploited, and tortured, and yet humans vilify them and act like they're the victims because the dragons were angry, threatened, distressed, confused, and defending themselves. Humans act like they're always right by definition, they can do no wrong, and all other animals should know that and submit to them. Humans weren't the victims, the dragons were the victims. As is exploiting, abusing, scaring, disrupting grindylows, fish, and other animals in the Great Lake.
      Other apes, monkeys, and horses used on cards aren't smiling because they're happy. They do a "fear grimace", smiling in submission. They're not happy, they're abused.
      Wild animals should only live in captivity if they can't survive in the wild or are in hospital, and their enclosures shouldn't be limited by space for humans to look at them. Humans have the entire planet but won't even give other animals a few extra feet.
      Experimenting on other animals is evil. How dare you cause such immense suffering and murder. You're birthing them to torture them. They shouldn't be thankful to be alive at all, their life is torturous. What a miserable existence. That constant, unending torture is unimaginable for most people. The only experiments that should happen are on consenting humans. If you can't find a consenting human, the experiment doesn't happen. Knowledge doesn't take priority over life. That's why humans aren't experimented on without their consent, and the same should be true for other animals.
      This is farming:
      ua-cam.com/play/PLm0iXFKTAjT1w99POXjF9zGDSpUaLekzj.html
      ua-cam.com/video/zF7Ega_TpZE/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/L_vqIGTKuQE/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/pixGkSFBty0/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/yD4kpLiA2Qo/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/nEKpyzyn6N8/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/fNffORCD6kI/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/4RHTtSpqLbs/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/fsU5mVKcoIg/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/Fn7x8sSBIUY/v-deo.html
      ua-cam.com/video/dvtVkNofcq8/v-deo.html
      bennettleeross.com/animal-rights/biggest-evil-world-today-factory-farming/
      www.all-creatures.org/articles/an-tpr-reflections-on-lectionary-282.html
      quillette.com/2018/10/20/why-its-time-to-end-factory-farming/
      mercyforanimals.org/7-factory-farming-practices-straight-out
      lithub.com/inside-the-daily-horrors-of-a-factory-farm/
      www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jan/30/free-range-eggs-con-ethical
      thevegancalculator.com/animal-slaughter/
      Honey, when sold to humans, is a product of abuse.
      theminimalistvegan.com/is-honey-vegan/
      Mountain Dew, all other Pepsi products, Oreos, and Doritos use #ConflictPalmOil, causing the extinction of countless species, such as orangutans. 25 orangutans are murdered every day from unsustainable palm oil production.
      www.ran.org/issue/palm_oil/
      www.chesterzoo.org/app/uploads/sites/3/2019/04/Sustainable-Palm-Oil-Shopping-List-Feb-2019.pdf
      KFC uses cardboard made from trees cut down in the forests of endangered species, such as Indonesian tigers and orangutans.
      www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150692/KFC-buckets-destroying-Indonesian-rainforest-claims-Greenpeace.html
      Leather's evil. Other animals, especially cows, suffer tremendously for leather production. It's not just a by-product of the meat industry.
      www.onegreenplanet.org/animalsandnature/leather-is-more-than-a-by-product-of-the-meat-industry/
      www.care2.com/causes/the-shocking-truth-about-leather-no-its-not-a-meat-byproduct.html
      www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2008/aug/27/ethicalfashion.leather
      Fur and down are the result of brutal torture and horrific murder.
      www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2016/08/wildlife-china-fur-farming-welfare/
      www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/fur-farms-animal-welfare-cruelty-cannibalism-mink-foxes-coat-jacket-a8647616.html
      www.furfreealliance.com/severe-animal-cruelty-polish-fur-farms-revealed/
      www.thedodo.com/fur-farms-stop-the-cruelty-1527692086.html
      www.onegreenplanet.org/animalsandnature/here-are-the-innocent-faces-of-the-cruel-fur-industry/
      www.onegreenplanet.org/news/top-brands-using-fur-from-monster-foxes/
      Wool is a product of abuse, just like fur, mohair, and angora wool, not just in the East, but Western nations like America, the UK, and Australia.
      ua-cam.com/video/CHaCUyLPeOw/v-deo.html
      www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/a-wool-jumper-is-just-as-cruel-as-a-mink-coat-9610133.html
      www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3331465/Shocking-video-shows-horrific-abuses-lamb-sheep-used-wool-industry-kicked-face-workers-horns-torn-off.html
      www.bustle.com/articles/148252-7-reasons-wool-is-cruel-unnecessary-just-plain-baaaa-d
      www.onegreenplanet.org/animalsandnature/5-alarming-facts-about-the-wool-industry/
      vegancuts.com/why-wool-is-not-vegan/
      theminimalistvegan.com/is-wool-vegan/
      Silk, and so satin, is the product of enslaved, tortured, and murdered silkworms, other insects, and spiders. It's evil.
      theminimalistvegan.com/is-silk-vegan/
      Pearls are the product of enslaved, abused oysters, who are murdered when they're no longer profitable. There are vegan alternatives to pearls, such as Swarovski pearls, made from Swarovski crystal with a vegan finish.
      plantprosperous.com/are-pearls-vegan/
      Fireworks and other explosions are evil. Other animals, like cats, dogs, and birds, get absolutely terrified by fireworks. Causing such intense, unending fear is unjustifiable.
      ua-cam.com/video/tgRV6FS-rPo/v-deo.html
      Laser pointers aren't good toys on their own for cats and dogs. They have a psychological need to feel their prey under their paws and on their whiskers. Not doing so becomes extremely frustrating and stressful for them. Cats should have treats and toys the laser is pointed on every so often, but dogs should never play with them. They easily develop a neurosis where they become obsessed with lights and shadows.
      dogpsychology101.com/laser-pointer-syndrome-dogs/
      Horse riding and racing is evil. Horses aren't machines to be ridden and controlled for your entertainment.
      www.bitesizevegan.org/bite-size-vegan-nuggets/is-horse-riding-cruel-is-it-vegan/
      www.animalaid.org.uk/the-issues/our-campaigns/horse-racing/
      Dogs and wolves don't have a strict hierarchy with an alpha. Treating them like they do is cruel and confusing.
      io9.gizmodo.com/why-everything-you-know-about-wolf-packs-is-wrong-502754629
      Canada and Trudeau let seals have their skulls smashed to bits with clubs.
      m.ua-cam.com/video/XCYf9q9t9bo/v-deo.html
      www.hsi.org/assets/pdfs/myths_and_facts_seal_hunt.pdf
      www.thedodo.com/canada-seal-hunt-2333758471.html
      Don't give birds and fish bread, or cats cows' milk or cheese. Bread has no nutritional value for birds, it just stops them from eating useful food; the yeast expands in fish' stomachs causing constipation; and most cats are lactose intolerant. There are many human foods dangerous to dogs, not just chocolate, such as the artificial sweetener xylitol, found in chewing gum and even some peanut butters, so he diligent in what they eat.
      www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1953493/Royal-Society-for-the-Protection-of-Birds-RSPB-says-to-ban-bread-as-bird-food.html
      www.sciencefocus.com/nature/why-cant-cats-drink-milk-plus-6-other-feline-myths/
      pets.webmd.com/cats/ss/slideshow-foods-your-cat-should-never-eat
      www.battersea.org.uk/pet-advice/dog-care-advice/toxic-food-dogs
      Ecosia is a search engine that uses at least 80% of its profits to plant trees, planting about 1 every second, which takes 45 searches to fund.
      www.ecosia.org/
      ‬No one has the right to kidnap, enslave, exploit, rape, torture, or murder anyone, for any reason.
      You wouldn't do it to humans, and don't do it to other animals. It's that simple.
      Watch Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts. Luna Lovegood and Newt Scamander are perfect examples of how you should view and treat other animals.
      "We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." - Albus Dumbledore
      "Do you know why I admire you, Newt? More, perhaps, than any man I know? You do not seek power, or popularity. You simply ask 'Is a thing right? In itself?' If it is you do it, no matter the cost." - Albus Dumbledore
      Humans are animals, and no more special than any other creature.
      #AnimalAbuse #AnimalRights #AdoptDontShop #OptToAdopt

    • @allysanimalchannel
      @allysanimalchannel 3 роки тому

      @@Ranger1812 Did you maybe reply to the wrong comment? I was just quoting the video!

    • @Ranger1812
      @Ranger1812 3 роки тому

      @@allysanimalchannel It's from your profile picture.

    • @allysanimalchannel
      @allysanimalchannel 3 роки тому

      @@Ranger1812 Oh! That's just my pet dove!

  • @ciircuz
    @ciircuz 4 роки тому +358

    I was sooo expecting this to turn into Amir telling a story about how he was in Wuhan, China 3 months ago and ate a bat he found on the side of the road. Basically being patient zero.
    Can't be mad though, I've waited too long for this and I deserved it.

    • @MrLionMan1
      @MrLionMan1 4 роки тому +9

      that would have been amazing

    • @djcatecholamine5483
      @djcatecholamine5483 4 роки тому +40

      Social distance for this soggy biscuit makes the girls make sounds like crickets! I ate a bat. In Wuhan.
      The point is, I travel.

    • @ddogvtae9142
      @ddogvtae9142 4 роки тому +5

      @@djcatecholamine5483 you got a stoned 2 am laugh and I thank you for that. You fish

    • @Paula-zt9ol
      @Paula-zt9ol 3 роки тому

      @@ddogvtae9142 you warlock

    • @ddogvtae9142
      @ddogvtae9142 3 роки тому +1

      @@Paula-zt9ol you wizard

  • @KonkeyDongkey
    @KonkeyDongkey 4 роки тому +303

    The most surprising thing about this video is that amir pronounced meme correctly.

    • @AndrewPonti
      @AndrewPonti 4 роки тому +17

      KonkeyDong uhhh it’s “meh-meh”

    • @dixiecronin7791
      @dixiecronin7791 4 роки тому +7

      "It's a meme!"

    • @markkittel44
      @markkittel44 4 роки тому +3

      He's had five years to learn words like dollop and gregarious... So...

    • @NFSF1McLaren
      @NFSF1McLaren 4 роки тому

      character development, am I right?

    • @shipuden978
      @shipuden978 2 роки тому

      charchter development

  • @DannyBellTheAuthor
    @DannyBellTheAuthor 4 роки тому +350

    I kept waiting for Jake to remind Amir how old he was, that he's married, they have a business together. "Why are you still like this?"

    • @eatyourcereal5651
      @eatyourcereal5651 4 роки тому +3

      Wait what

    • @ninjamuffin289
      @ninjamuffin289 4 роки тому +19

      I still can't believe amir is 50 this year

    • @Josh-wt5xp
      @Josh-wt5xp 4 роки тому +35

      i cant believe amirs fathers legs are turning 112 this year

    • @regularshow960
      @regularshow960 4 роки тому +1

      @@ninjamuffin289 he's barely 40 lol

    • @pinnacull
      @pinnacull 4 роки тому +12

      @@Josh-wt5xp those tiny, weak, spindly little legs are the ripe old age of 112!

  • @xa1551
    @xa1551 4 роки тому +92

    Here's Amir's scroll in all of its glory:
    Top 10 Activities to Engage in as You Stay at Home and Practice Social Distancing
    by Amir Raisin Cuomo IX
    10. A doll named Ken, and if you can't afford a barbie, then how about just an imaginary friend?
    9. I feel fine! I'll go to a club or a pub and have a drink and some grub. As long as I'm not experiencing any symptoms, I can't be an asymptomatic carrier for the virus and put those with immunosuppressants at risk like the elderly or people ....
    8. Lick a gate. What are the odds that a sick person touched or licked that same gate within the last two weeks?
    7. A bacon named Kevin. Yeah, this movie star has gone too far. I say we dip him in oil and serve him to a horde of his angry fans.
    6. Go meet chicks! Self-isolation doesn't mean you have to stay at home by yourself all day. Book some travel and get away. You must flee when things get tense, so go abroad and lick a fence, no offense.
    5. Become un-alive! There's nothing to do but sit around and wait, so why not lay in bed in a catatonic state? Things are spiraling, we're all doomed, so close your eyes and give in to the gloom.
    4. Lick a door. What are the odds that someone infected with COVID-19 touched or licked the same door in the last two weeks? Fairly low, people are probably busy reading a book, doing a puzzle, or licking a fence or a gate.
    3. Woe is me. I could vlog or poo or pee, but what's the point? Now that I have to wash my hands afterwards for like an hour, that chore is a bore.
    2. Cough on a mice and say alrice.
    1. Lick a bun. Lay face-down in the sun in a parking lot.

  • @Spacialjones
    @Spacialjones 4 роки тому +40

    I figured by now Amir would have created an “AngryFans” app where people pay to yell at you. Please Amir, be the hero we all need in these trying times.

  • @iameveryw
    @iameveryw 4 роки тому +490

    Never clicked on a notification quicker. This is a pimp and a cool

  • @darkhorse12233
    @darkhorse12233 4 роки тому +248

    Amir: Jake
    Jake: Amir
    Amir: Call me Jake
    Jake: Absolutely not

    • @dixiecronin7791
      @dixiecronin7791 3 роки тому +4

      I have a feeling you'll be calling me day and night

    • @jeffbarrett3344
      @jeffbarrett3344 3 роки тому +2

      @@dixiecronin7791 After you thank me for the gift I got you

    • @SerraPontosSoc
      @SerraPontosSoc 3 роки тому +2

      @@jeffbarrett3344 Are we beefing tears of soy JJKAE?

  • @BrightAfternoonProductionsPlus
    @BrightAfternoonProductionsPlus 4 роки тому +55

    I may be over analysing it, but I LOVE the fact that they chose to make the first episode a simple video call. No over the top props, no wild locations, no super high end cinematography, just to boys on webcams, having a conversation. One is a lonely, horny weirdo, the other is Amir. That's what Jake and Amir is all about imho. The callbacks and scroll episode format are a fantastic way to mix the old with the new, but boy, I love this return to form, as it were.

  • @JBRADdesigns
    @JBRADdesigns 4 роки тому +2

    The "Siri, call...the man...back please, thank you." really got me

  • @KonkeyDongkey
    @KonkeyDongkey 4 роки тому +107

    The possibility that this video would exist at some point is what got me up in the morning these past five years.

  • @owen-cu6gr
    @owen-cu6gr 4 роки тому +176

    Jake and Amir: My death was, greatly exaggerated.

    • @kyle-rb
      @kyle-rb 4 роки тому +12

      You were thinking of Brad Renfro

    • @stevemyers3082
      @stevemyers3082 4 роки тому +2

      Megamind NICE

    • @owen-cu6gr
      @owen-cu6gr 4 роки тому +3

      @@stevemyers3082 AMIR NICE

  • @logandh2
    @logandh2 4 роки тому +61

    I desperately hope they start making more Jake And Amir. It doesn’t even have to be regularly, just more often than coming back every few years to make one when something incredibly important is happening in the world

  • @aktivwurm
    @aktivwurm 2 роки тому +4

    Holy shit they came back. Literally makes me happy as fuck.

  • @eatyourcereal5651
    @eatyourcereal5651 4 роки тому +173

    Me: “jake and amir.... that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time”

    • @markkittel44
      @markkittel44 4 роки тому +4

      "We havent gone by the name Jake and Amir since oh before you were born...."

    • @nutmaster652
      @nutmaster652 4 роки тому

      You haven’t watched their Headgum videos?

    • @yasminhussain7163
      @yasminhussain7163 4 роки тому

      nut master I think he means it wasn’t titled jake and amir.

    • @AndiBraun93
      @AndiBraun93 4 роки тому

      @@markkittel44 guess what day he was bjorn

    • @eatyourcereal5651
      @eatyourcereal5651 4 роки тому

      Yasmin Hussain correct

  • @LooneyDude
    @LooneyDude 4 роки тому +126

    THE GOLDEN BOYS ARE BACK!!! I thought I'd never see the day

    • @AddBowIfGirl
      @AddBowIfGirl 4 роки тому +1

      LooneyDude
      Me neither. Guess they’re allowed now that CH is going under? Awesome either way!

  • @tanookitime7604
    @tanookitime7604 4 роки тому +11

    "Siri... call the man back" I think Amir forgot Jake's name lol

  • @Cropperist1
    @Cropperist1 4 роки тому +15

    I missed this... I just... Missed this

  • @jamesfinch73
    @jamesfinch73 4 роки тому +130

    First I'll say you two can do no wrong. Having said that you missed such a glaring opportunity to use TOILET PAPER as a scroll.

    • @SistoActivitatemAtm
      @SistoActivitatemAtm 4 роки тому +4

      They've done it already, that's my guess why they didn't do it this time

    • @jamesfinch73
      @jamesfinch73 4 роки тому +3

      @@SistoActivitatemAtm they didn't though. They did a scroll video in a bathroom but he didn't use toilet paper. To wipe or otherwise.

    • @averageplayers5288
      @averageplayers5288 4 роки тому

      Jason Grill Amir might be the dumbest living being on the planet, but he would never be so wasteful of precious resources

  • @RowBlanka
    @RowBlanka 4 роки тому +104

    come on who dares to dislike this this this miracle...

    • @acgm046
      @acgm046 4 роки тому +6

      With that that that that that POISON

    • @markkittel44
      @markkittel44 4 роки тому +1

      Diva roaches!!

  • @ErbyboyMV
    @ErbyboyMV 4 роки тому +49

    "It’s called a 'meh-meh'." 2:31

  • @mjgonzalez7018
    @mjgonzalez7018 3 роки тому +6

    all the allusion to “5 years” really makes my heart do a thing.

  • @FREEGEMS
    @FREEGEMS 4 роки тому +9

    Y’all do not understand how fucking fast i clicked on this video

  • @surferkidraul
    @surferkidraul 4 роки тому +347

    This makes the coronavirus worth it.

  • @aryansharma-wf9eh
    @aryansharma-wf9eh 4 роки тому +168

    I am beefing, beefing bears of soy.
    To all the people in the comment section, no I do not mistype.

  • @agistoni1894
    @agistoni1894 4 роки тому +8

    I love how this is like a combination of the classic jake and amir and also their new head gum characters

  • @Primitiveimage
    @Primitiveimage 4 роки тому +53

    Never thought I’d see a Jake & Amir with a gray haired Amir lol

  • @Bolt99K
    @Bolt99K 4 роки тому +54

    Oh Sheesh Yall, Jake and Amir is finally back!!!!

  • @Chernibogg
    @Chernibogg 3 роки тому +5

    It really sucks that this channels most viewed and liked video is the series they don't or won't continue.

  • @josephshubert7536
    @josephshubert7536 Рік тому +3

    You know you're getting older when you still watch Jake and amir and get distracted by the amazing color of the siding on Jake's house

  • @pennclick
    @pennclick 4 роки тому +28

    Ok picture this (after COVID-19 blows over): Jake sits down to work as usual at Headgum where he’s a standard employee and Riley, Marty or Geoff are the boss character. He’s having an average day when Amir walks in and sits down right in front of him.
    “Oh no.”
    “Hey soulmate.”
    And thus a new era of J&A is born.

  • @holo.enthusiast
    @holo.enthusiast 4 роки тому +165

    I saw “scroll” and NEVER clicked on a notification so quickly, I’m - 😍😩

    • @WhyHide30
      @WhyHide30 4 роки тому +3

      AHPC1 classic Jake and Amir Supporters 💯😄

  • @oreobandit22
    @oreobandit22 4 роки тому

    Yesssss I've been rewatching them so much again this year! Glad to see another one.

  • @Robbpeterson88
    @Robbpeterson88 4 роки тому

    OMG!!!! Thank you so much for this.

  • @fakeoutdoorsy
    @fakeoutdoorsy 4 роки тому +53

    Mickey, my friend! There’s a new Jake and Amir episode! Yeah, it’s right outside Mickey. Go check it out!

    • @ADOX2525
      @ADOX2525 4 роки тому +8

      You're checking it out, Mickey... Right now, Mickey... Did you like it Mickey? Did you subscribe Mickey? Did you click the bell and comment Mickey?

    • @simonhailom2477
      @simonhailom2477 4 роки тому +10

      @@ADOX2525 Oh you can't comment Mickey? You can't subscribe Mickey? That's because you're blocked Mickey! That's right, because UA-cam Terms of Service ain't legal Mickey!

    • @ADOX2525
      @ADOX2525 4 роки тому +7

      @@simonhailom2477 What. You're reporting me, Mickey? No, Mickey, please, no, Mickey! You've demonitised me and demonised me, Mickey... Oh lord. I needed the cash, Mickey.

    • @simonhailom2477
      @simonhailom2477 4 роки тому +5

      @@ADOX2525 Maybe your cousin Leeron can get you some c-c-c-cashhh!

  • @brandonwilcox7411
    @brandonwilcox7411 4 роки тому +50

    COVID-19 was officially worth it

  • @Niskrr
    @Niskrr 4 роки тому

    Thank you for bringing this back I needed this ❤️

  • @xoxoEmilyEmilyxoxo
    @xoxoEmilyEmilyxoxo 4 роки тому

    Thank you for this and the podcast right now

  • @gio.romero
    @gio.romero 4 роки тому +245

    "You've used that one before"
    "No!"
    "This is just lazy writing. You're gonna take five years off and come back here with a recycled list?"
    "NUMBER SIX"

    • @SmashTactics
      @SmashTactics 4 роки тому +10

      Oh you saw the video too?

    • @twospacedanimations5008
      @twospacedanimations5008 4 роки тому

      Dam

    • @PlagiarizedG
      @PlagiarizedG 4 роки тому +14

      SmashTactics No, he is talking about his favorite in the video. Would you rather he just lol’d and have no idea which part he found funny. Sorry a YT comment is not as short tic tok video to watch him express how much he liked the video.

    • @Pepilepsy
      @Pepilepsy 4 роки тому +1

      @@PlagiarizedG Why are you backing up this feeble minded pleb who cant articulate an interesting post so he feels the dying need to regurgitate quotes from the video. So impressionable .

    • @thegamingknight2096
      @thegamingknight2096 4 роки тому +8

      Giraffe Guy why do you feel the need to criticise someone’s appreciation of something they found funny because you didn’t find it unique or intellectually challenging? Why are you calling him a pleb? I doubt you know the meaning of the word, you 14 year old edgelord.

  • @Davanhanvid
    @Davanhanvid 4 роки тому +21

    Amir social distanced himself so much that his dad frikken stayed home

  • @justinsize1
    @justinsize1 4 роки тому

    Oh my God yes!!! I've always wanted a new scroll video. You guys are still gr8.

  • @BloodSugarS3XMajik
    @BloodSugarS3XMajik 4 роки тому

    Please do more! This is needed right now!

  • @pennclick
    @pennclick 4 роки тому +304

    If we needed coronavirus to bring back J&A then it’s all been worth it

    • @Strummie
      @Strummie 4 роки тому +14

      Zant I’ll contract it right now if it means Jake and Amir continues.

    • @pffft5679
      @pffft5679 4 роки тому +1

      I will deep fry Koll Moss

    • @ids5621
      @ids5621 4 роки тому +1

      Zants of zorts

    • @Lexi95191
      @Lexi95191 4 роки тому

      Zant agreed! 👍🏻

    • @CampinOnline
      @CampinOnline 4 роки тому +1

      As long as they can bring back Shia the frickin beef I'm game.

  • @owen-cu6gr
    @owen-cu6gr 4 роки тому +352

    I don't get it, stay at home mom is the politically correct term.

    • @not_henry_the_fifth
      @not_henry_the_fifth 4 роки тому +96

      But you yelled "STAY AT HOME, MOM!" and you were talking to my mom

    • @lilya1277
      @lilya1277 4 роки тому +32

      holy shit Doobs is here

    • @elonmush4793
      @elonmush4793 4 роки тому +33

      You can't call me by that peasant name anymore, Ashmir!

    • @owen-cu6gr
      @owen-cu6gr 4 роки тому +26

      @@elonmush4793 No

    • @dixiecronin7791
      @dixiecronin7791 4 роки тому +21

      @@owen-cu6gr Yes!

  • @jb90467
    @jb90467 4 роки тому

    I love these so much hope they never stop doing them.

  • @oimate7456
    @oimate7456 4 роки тому +1

    Love u guys thank u for this listening to the pod whenever I can

  • @TheUsualOfficial
    @TheUsualOfficial 4 роки тому +21

    I don’t know what to say...I deserve so much more than this.

  • @michaelmuise2262
    @michaelmuise2262 4 роки тому +79

    Jake and Amir watch Jake and Amir: Social Distance Scroll

    • @asecretone
      @asecretone 4 роки тому +2

      Jakeception

    • @markkittel44
      @markkittel44 4 роки тому +1

      More like: Jake and Amir social-distance watch Jake and Amir - Social Distance Scroll.

  • @delaney2160
    @delaney2160 4 роки тому

    This made my heart so happy. Thank you!!

  • @qsmith2514
    @qsmith2514 4 роки тому

    Definitely my favorite recurring series. Glad you guys are still doing well!

  • @darkgames3477
    @darkgames3477 4 роки тому +62

    Who else here would watch blogs of Amir’s scrolls

    • @dixiecronin7791
      @dixiecronin7791 4 роки тому +2

      I would watch those every day

    • @markkittel44
      @markkittel44 4 роки тому +1

      Didnt they already do that? Isnt that basically what every scroll episode was?

    • @darkgames3477
      @darkgames3477 4 роки тому

      Mark Kittel That’s fair, that’s more than fair actually

  • @voabarros
    @voabarros 4 роки тому +18

    OMG I can't believe Jake and Amir is back!!!

  • @jamesfield6273
    @jamesfield6273 4 роки тому

    This makes me so happy. Its been so long since ive seen them and a new video is amazing

  • @michaelkopischke8072
    @michaelkopischke8072 4 роки тому

    Thank you so much for doing this Jake and Amir. This is exactly what I needed right now in these dark times.

  • @okaywhynot4728
    @okaywhynot4728 4 роки тому +15

    THE SCROLL IS BACK 🤩

  • @justinz9225
    @justinz9225 4 роки тому +35

    Holy crap, 5 minutes of new Jake and Amir??
    We deserved... so much more than this.
    Honestly thought I'm assuming you have the rights again since CH is defunct? I seriously hope you guys bring the series back, even if it's just periodical. We need this in our lives.

    • @notquitehim
      @notquitehim 4 роки тому +3

      I don't think we deserved it, but we definitely needed it

    • @jonahamosbuzzard-roberts5963
      @jonahamosbuzzard-roberts5963 4 роки тому

      I find it ironic that for 5 years they didn't have the legal rights to their own names.

    • @SeraphsWitness
      @SeraphsWitness 11 місяців тому

      @@jonahamosbuzzard-roberts5963 It's not a "legal right to their own names". It's a comedy series they made for CollegeHumor. Nobody was preventing them from using their own names.

  • @nathanmanchester1967
    @nathanmanchester1967 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you very much for this. Made me so happy to watch you two back at it again

  • @jaspersilence9328
    @jaspersilence9328 4 роки тому

    YES!!! It was so great to see this pop up

  • @robert6499
    @robert6499 4 роки тому +13

    Holy guac! They've returned

  • @HyperTomoose
    @HyperTomoose 4 роки тому +58

    So the official lore of Jake and Amir is they haven't seen one another for five years?
    I find that hard to believe guys.
    Amir must have been peeping on Jake the whole time.

    • @GarfieldiusPrime
      @GarfieldiusPrime 4 роки тому +5

      I get the feeling that in the lore of Jake and Amir in these past five years they've been trying to avoid each other but extraneous circumstances put them back together. They are inevitable.

    • @Rougeification
      @Rougeification 4 роки тому +2

      @@GarfieldiusPrime So, basically, they're like a dyad?

    • @GarfieldiusPrime
      @GarfieldiusPrime 3 роки тому +2

      @@Rougeification yup

    • @Rougeification
      @Rougeification 3 роки тому +1

      @@GarfieldiusPrime I've been thinking... you say extraneous circumstances, but I'd argue it's something other than that...
      Whether it's the universe or fate or a manifestation of both, I wouldn't say it's a God's will to force them to be together. Let's face it, the power to bind these two together for eternity is power only a deity would be capable of, but I'd argue there's no benevolence that a deity would have... I think a lesser demon or perhaps a Greek God has sent Amir to punish Jake with his friendship.
      Thoughts?

    • @GarfieldiusPrime
      @GarfieldiusPrime 3 роки тому +1

      @@Rougeification Pretty much a hard agree from me. I would also like to propose that this otherworldly power might have twisted others' relationships with Jake to be so negative that he would have no choice but to hang around Amir. After all, no matter how much Amir seemed to annoy Jake the latter never thought about changing desks. Perhaps because all the other people in his life seemed to become crazy cartoon characters on the same playing field as Amir.
      An example would be how Jake started out being mildly rude to Murph in the earliest Jake/Amir episodes but later on the former became a playground bully to Jake whilst claiming to be protecting Amir from him. Or how Emily seemed neutral to Jake in her earliest appearances but later on became sexually obsessed with seeing him bullied by Murph.
      And what of Ben Schwartz's characters who annoyed both Jake AND AMIR, how do they factor into this weird and cosmic dynamic? Are they perhaps agents of this chaos meant to strengthen the two's bond through mutual dislike of a third party? Or... are they in fact the multiple forms of this entity, taking time out from whatever their cosmic routine is to enjoy the chaos of Jake and Amir up close every so often.
      The only character that doesn't fit my headcanon is Streeter, who seemed to be good buds with Jake even with Amir in the picture.

  • @-__-Red-__-
    @-__-Red-__- 4 роки тому +1

    I love this, I’ve missed watching new Jake and Amir vids so much!!

  • @saikosshadow2723
    @saikosshadow2723 4 роки тому

    This has been an immensely powerful morale boost thank you Jake and Amir! Please make more. This alone has helped so many people.

  • @TheGamingHandbook
    @TheGamingHandbook 4 роки тому +10

    This is the happiest I’ve been in a loooong time.

  • @SportskeParodije
    @SportskeParodije 4 роки тому +11

    What a missed opportunity not to use toilet paper as a scroll.

  • @wiimaster06
    @wiimaster06 4 роки тому +26

    OMG I'M SO HAPPY THAT WE HAVE A NEW SCROLL I'M BEEFING TEARS OF SOY.

  • @stateyourthesis
    @stateyourthesis 4 роки тому

    I love you guys so much. I remember the first video you dudes uploaded. Glad you are still making vids.

  • @jamesh7432
    @jamesh7432 4 роки тому +7

    Hell yes! This is what we've all been waiting for Shmuel!

  • @JJ-qn9br
    @JJ-qn9br 4 роки тому +9

    I'm so happy about this I'm beefing rn

  • @Burnsmh
    @Burnsmh 4 роки тому

    This is what I needed today. Seriously thank you.

  • @shaggytheshaman
    @shaggytheshaman 4 роки тому

    This was such a welcome surprise!! Hope to see more content like this from you guys. Miss your videos. Just as hilarious as I remember them being. Thanks!

  • @SinisterDirector
    @SinisterDirector 4 роки тому +5

    A new Jake and Amir... this has to be a dream. Best morning ever.

  • @ptolemycrook2352
    @ptolemycrook2352 4 роки тому +3

    cough on a mice! you've really brightened my day lads I was elated when I saw the title.

  • @jflanagan9696
    @jflanagan9696 4 роки тому +1

    Please let this be a regular thing! I still rewatch old Jake and Amirs (and still manage to find ones I've never seen, somehow...)

  • @lumjum7274
    @lumjum7274 4 роки тому

    The return we've all been waiting for lmaooo. Please make more Jake and Amir is my favorite UA-cam show.

  • @SmashTactics
    @SmashTactics 4 роки тому +15

    I guess Jake never gave Amir his old scroll backpack back.

    • @Aomicplane
      @Aomicplane 4 роки тому +2

      Probably because there also was a f*cking cat in there

  • @YungRasputin
    @YungRasputin 4 роки тому +14

    My heart is very much filled with soy at this moment of thyme.

  • @laxman30196
    @laxman30196 4 роки тому

    This will not be thrown out as this video brings me joy. Oh i have missed these so much

  • @EagleyeDT
    @EagleyeDT 4 роки тому

    Yes!!!!!! JAKE AND AMIR. I have been waiting so long