Hi ! Thank you for opening a discussion about this . I am 50 years old and in 2015 we lost my mother in law. The last parent we did have. That was so hard but that december a little black kitty came to us and needed help.She was dying. It made me realised that the holidays is bout feeling for others too. Even if it is hard each year my husband and I we do a X-mas tree because our departed ones did enjoy this . Last year we were in lockdown like many people and we did the whole big thing just for the two of us ! We even watch all the cartoons, go look for decorated house and had tuckey ... and you know what happen ? We did not feel alone... they were there to share and that was even fun ! We plan to do it again this year. I know it is hard at first but don't forget your mom and her magic... your kids will remember you one day... share your magic with them it will warm your heart. Fill your mom's shoes because they are your heritage... I wish you a very nice day and good Holidays ! Blessed be you and your loved ones.🎇🌛🌕🌜🧙🏽♀️🎄🍁
I would gladly join you in leaving for the forests for a month and a half. The holidays are a very difficult time for me, have been since I was young. My mother hates the holidays because of trauma and grief (cw: child death, she lost my big brother in the womb just before Christmas) so there was never a lot of Christmas magic in our home. For me it's a time of juggling too many families to visit, often with extended family that I simply do not like. It feels very restrictive and stressful because I'm always on guard. Two years ago I decided to throw myself into the holidays, decorating, celebrating, hopefully making our own traditions. It was by far the worst and most difficult Christmas we've had, lot's of fighting within the family and even with my own partner. With the pandemic, more infighting in the family, and a lot of lack of compassion and understanding, I'm absolutely not feeling it this year. I have to admit, I saw the first lights up and it gave me this weird sense of panic. So, yeah, I'd gladly hide away until all of it is over.
I definitely feel this during the holidays, not only because of my spiritual practice, but also because of how many family members I lost this past year. I'm hoping that this year I am able to focus on the positive aspects of the season.
I celebrate Christmas cuz my family celebrates it and I have kids. I’m in the broom closet outside of the ppl I live with. We would always put the tree up the day after thanksgiving but we are a little behind this year lol we don’t do a lot of foraging for Xmas though. I’m a beginner pagan so this is also my first Yule so learning all I can on the holiday. Sorry u struggle so much with the holidays. The main one I struggle with is thanksgiving and the month of November.
OMG I can't believe how similar our live stories are I'm really struggling too every year is the same you see I lost my dad in 2002 to cancer 2 weeks before yule/Christmas he went into the hospital his birthday is January 11th turned 68 he passed away on the 14th 3 days after his 68th birthday he passed away fast forward 6 yrs later 2008 I lost my mom January 1st she had a heart attack was in passed away February 11th and was buried on 14th my mom side immediate family we have no one her 2 sisters and 3 brothers have all passed away I only have cousins from her side my dad's I still have 3 aunts and 1 uncle his other 2 brothers passed away 1 before my dad and 1 we lost 2 yrs away to cancer I'm so sorry for your pain sweetheart I'm sorry for your loss of your mom I am planning on decorating for Christmas not the way I used to but I will be putting out a little bit one thing for sure is doing my Christmas village and the Nativity scene its my favorite thing to do my mom used to make it every year when we were little anyway love you sis take care I will keep you in my prayers sending you love and light Blessed be 💖😘🤗 ps I AM SO SORRY YOUR YULE ALTAR LOOKS BEAUTIFUL I'm going to be doing mine this week
Grief is strange. Never comes with a warning OR expiration date. But at what point do WE decide not to give grief ALL of our energy and time. At what point do we know and understand that maybe without realizing it, we subconsciously make 'appointments' with our grief. And yes, many of us do just that. I am guilty of it as well. And by no means am I suggesting that we ignore the cravings and yearnings for those who have passed on. Far from it. I am simply saying that we need to find organic ways to address the grief in a way that doesn't leave us depleted and depressed all the time. For instance, creating ways to honor what you loved most about loved ones, their favorite foods, movies, places to visit. Make those recipes, take a long nature walk and have open honest conversations with anyone on the other side, create mementos in your home to honor their memories' write poetry in their honor, volunteer at a charity that they loved (if you are able). All I'm saying is that there are symbolic and nurturing ways to answer when grief calls. And we know it will. In addition we may need to turn our focus on the people still IN our lives as opposed to a perpetual level of grief over the loved ones who are gone. You have brothers and cousins. Are they worth creating deeper relationships with? Just a thought. Happy holidays!🎄🌲
Hi ! Thank you for opening a discussion about this . I am 50 years old and in 2015 we lost my mother in law. The last parent we did have. That was so hard but that december a little black kitty came to us and needed help.She was dying. It made me realised that the holidays is bout feeling for others too. Even if it is hard each year my husband and I we do a X-mas tree because our departed ones did enjoy this . Last year we were in lockdown like many people and we did the whole big thing just for the two of us ! We even watch all the cartoons, go look for decorated house and had tuckey ... and you know what happen ? We did not feel alone... they were there to share and that was even fun ! We plan to do it again this year. I know it is hard at first but don't forget your mom and her magic... your kids will remember you one day... share your magic with them it will warm your heart. Fill your mom's shoes because they are your heritage... I wish you a very nice day and good Holidays ! Blessed be you and your loved ones.🎇🌛🌕🌜🧙🏽♀️🎄🍁
I would gladly join you in leaving for the forests for a month and a half. The holidays are a very difficult time for me, have been since I was young. My mother hates the holidays because of trauma and grief (cw: child death, she lost my big brother in the womb just before Christmas) so there was never a lot of Christmas magic in our home. For me it's a time of juggling too many families to visit, often with extended family that I simply do not like. It feels very restrictive and stressful because I'm always on guard. Two years ago I decided to throw myself into the holidays, decorating, celebrating, hopefully making our own traditions. It was by far the worst and most difficult Christmas we've had, lot's of fighting within the family and even with my own partner. With the pandemic, more infighting in the family, and a lot of lack of compassion and understanding, I'm absolutely not feeling it this year. I have to admit, I saw the first lights up and it gave me this weird sense of panic. So, yeah, I'd gladly hide away until all of it is over.
I definitely feel this during the holidays, not only because of my spiritual practice, but also because of how many family members I lost this past year. I'm hoping that this year I am able to focus on the positive aspects of the season.
I celebrate Christmas cuz my family celebrates it and I have kids. I’m in the broom closet outside of the ppl I live with. We would always put the tree up the day after thanksgiving but we are a little behind this year lol we don’t do a lot of foraging for Xmas though. I’m a beginner pagan so this is also my first Yule so learning all I can on the holiday. Sorry u struggle so much with the holidays. The main one I struggle with is thanksgiving and the month of November.
OMG I can't believe how similar our live stories are I'm really struggling too every year is the same you see I lost my dad in 2002 to cancer 2 weeks before yule/Christmas he went into the hospital his birthday is January 11th turned 68 he passed away on the 14th 3 days after his 68th birthday he passed away fast forward 6 yrs later 2008 I lost my mom January 1st she had a heart attack was in passed away February 11th and was buried on 14th my mom side immediate family we have no one her 2 sisters and 3 brothers have all passed away I only have cousins from her side my dad's I still have 3 aunts and 1 uncle his other 2 brothers passed away 1 before my dad and 1 we lost 2 yrs away to cancer I'm so sorry for your pain sweetheart I'm sorry for your loss of your mom I am planning on decorating for Christmas not the way I used to but I will be putting out a little bit one thing for sure is doing my Christmas village and the Nativity scene its my favorite thing to do my mom used to make it every year when we were little anyway love you sis take care I will keep you in my prayers sending you love and light Blessed be 💖😘🤗 ps I AM SO SORRY YOUR YULE ALTAR LOOKS BEAUTIFUL I'm going to be doing mine this week
Grief is strange. Never comes with a warning OR expiration date. But at what point do WE decide not to give grief ALL of our energy and time. At what point do we know and understand that maybe without realizing it, we subconsciously make 'appointments' with our grief. And yes, many of us do just that. I am guilty of it as well.
And by no means am I suggesting that we ignore the cravings and yearnings for those who have passed on. Far from it. I am simply saying that we need to find organic ways to address the grief in a way that doesn't leave us depleted and depressed all the time.
For instance, creating ways to honor what you loved most about loved ones, their favorite foods, movies, places to visit. Make those recipes, take a long nature walk and have open honest conversations with anyone on the other side, create mementos in your home to honor their memories' write poetry in their honor, volunteer at a charity that they loved (if you are able). All I'm saying is that there are symbolic and nurturing ways to answer when grief calls. And we know it will.
In addition we may need to turn our focus on the people still IN our lives as opposed to a perpetual level of grief over the loved ones who are gone. You have brothers and cousins. Are they worth creating deeper relationships with? Just a thought.
Happy holidays!🎄🌲