One habit that changed my life for the better has less to do with personal health and more to do with social wellbeing. I've been going out of my way to try to have more pleasant interactions everyday. This means small talk with shopkeepers, chatting more with co-workers and uni colleagues, etc. Crucially, the point of this practice is NOT to make new friends but to have more pleasant interactions with strangers and acquaintances. It's easy to identify as an introvert and just limit yourself to close friends, family and significant others, but I find it's surprisingly rewarding to make warmth and gregariousness the default with EVERYONE you interact with. To be clear, I wasn't being rude before, I was just more quiet and reserved. Adopting an extroverted persona has had a surprisingly positive effect on my life.
Same! I’ve been trying to live with a more communal mindset. If somebody speaks to me I’ll respond kindly and if they want to talk, I usually will. If I don’t feel like it I’m still kind.
Ooh this is inspiring. I am still usually quite guarded with strangers, but the few times I've been social with strangers on a train or bus for example, it's been super rewarding.
Reading during public transport has been amazing for me. Less social media and more joy, also helps me leave work at work as a transitional occupation!
Not consuming content on instagram has made me much calmer recently. Seeing that everyone you know is doing something big with their life while you just work and try to stay sane is a comparison that you can't win. And I know that all of them are probably just as unhappy as everyone else, but it's still is enough to cause my anxiety and fomo.
Yes, this. Before, I saw instagram as an inspiration. But did it ACTUALLY inspire me to do something? Very, very rarely. More often it would make me depressed than inspired. The endless scrolling is a hell on earth.
im so relieved to see you addressing your adhd. im autistic and adhd and i know how life changing it is when you start to accomodate yourself. sooooo proud to hear this.
My small change is that I leave for work over an hour before I need to. This has helped reduce a lot of stress because it means I'm usually driving before major traffic fully hits and also it leaves me time to park at work and go for a walk, begin early, message a friend in another time zone, take a nap, etc.,. It also means my 'second commute' is essentially 50 steps away, which is pretty great!
I have a positivity habit I do each morning. When I am walking my dog for an hour I must make a positive moment about every single house I walk past - regardless of how it looks or the overall state of it. Things like - I love the colour of the fence, wow their grass is so green, I like the windows, love the flowers, I love how they are not spending any money on their garden etc. By the end of the hour I have made so many positive moments that my brain automatically looks for the positive in every situation ❤❤
the cold showers are literally life changing. i learned about it from the book Dopamine Nation which i have some nuanced opinions about, but man that one take away has been such a positive for me! daily walks, less/no social media, lots of reading, and taking 10-15 minutes to breathe and stretch before i respond to anything that makes me emotionally activated are my main positive habits right now!
So glad you mentioned ADHD . I was diagnosed last year at 31 it is so under-diagnosed in girls. I can see a hyperfocus in you when you’re passionate about something you’re 1000% in it also adhd people tend to gravitate towards eachother so makes sense why I relate to you so much. Also rejection sensitivity , anxious attachment being more open sexually , problems with alcohol I honestly relate to you so much from what I’ve seen over the years, i remember the video of you and jess sorting your clothes and they were all jumbled and not washed 🤣 I thought omg that’s me, the way you loved sex and the city and can really visualise things like maladaptive day dreaming. Going through more phases than most I was vegan for a long time I got sucked into things. I had medication just for a short period to learn some techniques now I am unmedicated but having my diagnosis has made me understand myself so much more and I know I have a different brain and I see the world just a little different 😅❤
This is such a brilliant video. One of my habits is a daily gratitude list. I have an A6 book and I fill one page with things I am grateful for that day. Usually I do it at the start and end of the day but sometimes I take the book with me and write things down as they pop in to my head over the course of the day. 💙
I wanted to share something that has helped me so much and I even used today- a compression vest! If you're a very anxious or nervous person, and have no one who can give you a tight squeeze to calm you down or maybe not as often as you need, this does the job! Within minutes, I'm feeling more calm and regulated and it really helps me feel settled and I can think clearly again. Doing the voo breaths with this on is the creme de la creme 👌I got my vest from Sensory Direct!
18:20 literally BAWLING like a baby right now… oh Mel!! so amazing to hear you are exploring a diagnosis of ADHD. as a woman who has had her diagnosis since the 3rd grade after years of dysfunction in the classroom/at home (i presented as hyperactive- which i’m sure is why it was caught so early. i was unable to control myself and was a distraction to others. had my own seat at the front of the class and everything) i’ve always suspected perhaps you are a high-masking, highly intelligent woman with ADHD. i find i have the deepest, most meaningful connections with creators who i find out are neurodivergent either soon after or years later. just know… i am so excited for you on this journey. it is so validating, so SO important to receive a diagnosis since you resonate as well as have the tools needed to receive one. i wish you the very best and regardless of if you share your where the diagnosis inquiry takes you- you are so valid and just thank you for adding this in ♡ so many people, women especially, present internally or can mask their struggles for years until it comes to a head or they themselves have children who get the diagnosis.
also- i’m on the flip side as you. at 25 years old, i’ve had my ADHD diagnosis for more than 15+ years now but it is only this year that i’ve finally started pursuing therapy- and for my ADHD diagnosis a PSYCHOLOGIST specifically - so we are on this journey together but different parts in life and different aspects of healing. *hugs*
This was so helpful. I’ve been so mentally down and have been avoiding watching self help videos because self growth as an idea feels so exhausting to me right now. How this what framed made me so calm, as did your voice and your advice. I cannot tell you how much this motherly advice helped me. Thank you 💕
I've had one of the worst, most mentally and physically testing years of my adult life, not experienced since 2020. Really appreciate you sharing this video.
This video is so good I’m literally about to watch the whole thing again! One little thing, not so much a habit but more a mindset practice, I’ve learned to accept the fact that now I’m a mum, I’m not gonna get a ‘distinction’ EVERY DAY! Some days it’s ok just to get a ‘pass’ and that’s ok’ thinking like this, coming from a type A personality, has been very freeing 🤩💪
I have a habit for my pretty bad morning depression. There‘s more to it of course and I think if I had read this I might have rolled my eyes. But I try to think about things to look forward to, first thing I wake up. And if there is nothing that day, which happens, I think about what I can implement into my day to look forward to or what I‘m grateful for. It changes everything. I realized that for me, I don‘t wake up depressed, it‘s the rumination that starts really quickly. And with this habit I just swoop in there and replace them with good thoughts. It changed so much for me. That doesnt mean of course there shouldn‘t be space for these thoughts. I like to take time to write down all my fears and thoughts every other day to think them through and give them space but also to leave them in that time. And when you‘re writing and really thinking them through, sometimes there is some epiphany in them. Sometimes I realize what I miss in my life and what I don‘t want anymore. So thats my advice. Really enjoyed the video! Thanks for sharing this Mel!
I have a lot of trouble sleeping. I'm a light sleeper. I have trouble falling asleep. I get up a lot (2-5x a night) to pee, then I have trouble falling asleep after that. I've found that doing just a 15 or 20 minute guided meditation in bed right before sleeping really helps. And if I have trouble falling back to sleep after waking up, doing deep breathing/focusing on my breath and relaxing my muscles really helps. It's not 100%. Sometimes my mind just can't stop and it still takes 2 hours to fall back to sleep, but just generally I've slept a lot better since I started meditating before bed.
There are so many of my small habits in this video 😮❤ the light therapy, daily walk, not working after 5PM, vitamins, appreciation to loved ones, no news. So many! I also have had to take a lot of time to figure out what works for me. These things just stuck.
I have been SO overwhelmed recently with having so much content of my feed of needing to make these huge changes, winter arc etc! Thank you for sharing a manageable way of making things feel better
Meditating every day changed my life - started with 5 mins only. Now I can do it anytime anywhere, almost! The habit I tried to start this week was 15mins yoga every day. I managed 2 days, oh that was last week! Well new week starts tomorrow. Thanks as always yummy Melanie Xx
Once the kids start school you'll have more scheduled kid free time to film easily. My youngest is now in preschool 3 days a week and it's fabulous! Having 2 days to have 1 on 1 time is lovely too.
Melanie, you have no idea how helpful these videos are! I appreciate them so much. I’m unwell with POTS and various other symptoms but do believe it’s as a result of a disregulated nervous system. Would love more videos on this topic in the future (I know you’ve done a few now but just find them so helpful!) and SO happy for you that you’re in a better place. I know I’ll get there too❤️
I’ve probably already told that under another video or on ig but your videos are my comfort. They feel like a relaxing chat with a friend and also so meaningful and informative. Sending you hugs 💚 Ps can’t wait for your Patreon when you’re ready to do it
Melanie! Thank you so much ❤ Your videos are always so calming and make me feel so optimistic and like a normal person lol 😂 this video is so lovely! Sending you a big hug ❤❤❤
My husband is back to school and we both work full-time, so I've been getting back to meal prepping (actually watched this while getting my lunch ready for tomorrow and making tomorrow's dinner!). Knowing that our meals are ready in advance of busy days takes such a weight off my mind. I've also been working on incorporating meditation and yoga into my weekly routine. Some days are better than others 😅 I've noticed that when I'm consistent, I feel better and more centered, which is good motivation!
-I really struggle with insomnia (both trouble falling and staying asleep) so when I finally do sleep it's so hard to get up in the morning. Now the clocks have just gone back, I'm going to try a sunrise alarm clock where it spends about half an hour slowly lighting up before the alarm goes off. I'm hoping it will be a natural and gentle way to wake me up by activating my circadian rhythm into waking mode (sometimes my alarm goes off when I'm in deep sleep and I'm groggy from the abrupt change because my brain is still flooded with sleep hormones) -I've also limited my news exposure to once a fortnight and that's been really helpful. I don't look at people's Instagram stories when I'm in bed because they often post stuff about the news and I'm trying to keep my bed as a relaxed spaced
Streching your body even just a little bit is great and I also love having a great decoration in my home, having pretty things on the walls to look at. So even if i'm just laying in bed depressed, I can look at my pretty wall and see things i like
one thing i would like to change in my habits, that you touched base on, is what i consume (news, podcast) on the news and watching true crime, rather now, watching lifestyle channels. something more positive, instead of death and destruction, all the time.
So glad to see you back! I had to step away from your videos during all this turmoil but I'm so glad I never considered unsubbing because I think that deep down I had faith that you would get through it. ❤️
I just love your videos. I'm so happy youtube decided to show me your videos. I've been on youtube for ages and surprisingly enough the first video I've seen of yours was your office makeover video. I wish I had found your channel sooner but at least I'm here now. And I just have to say I love the color theory going on in this video, especially love the little mushrooms on the collar of your dress. Sending love 🖤
Melanie! Have you ever considered you may be AuDHD? (Autistic & ADHD). You remind me SOOOOO much of myself, and I have had many of the same struggles , successes and hyperfocuses as you over the years (plus I'm a fellow sober queen!). The combination of the two makes for the perfect storm of masking. Sorry to be an arm chair psychologist (and feel free to totally dismiss what I am saying, OBVIOUSLY!). However it seems everyone else has been telling you so I thought why not. I'm 36 and worked out I was AuDHD aged 34, then got a private diagnosis. It has been life changing!! Especially tailoring my life for my sensitive needs. Sending lots of love! I wish I was eating that cake, Lizz xx
Hi from Queens, NY! I ❤ DBT Therapy! I took a course @ Columbia University in NYC and learned so many skills to be an improved communicator to my friends/ family. I believe everyone could be better ppl with DBT. Thank you for mentioning this, & stay positive b/c positive things will happen! 🇮🇪🇺🇸🎃🧙🍂
My habit is setting out things for the morning before I go to bed, like my clothes, bag of things for the day, food etc. I feel a lot calmer starting the day when I know I’ve got a head start 😊
I loved this video! It’s so nice to see more people talking about more of these things, like slowing down and showing gratitude, not consuming the news etc. We’re finally breaking some cycles of previous generations that have been ingrained into society and passed down. Thanks for a lovely wholesome video 💚
Really interesting to watch as I went through a mental and physical health breakdown earlier this year, and have been learning a lot of the same techniques. Going to bed super early, daily yoga, going for a daily walk, having my supplements somewhere I see them every morning - all of it! Oh and I have ADHD and have always found your speaking rhythm very nice to listen to, one of the few channels where I don't have to watch on 1.5 / 2x. Maybe that's coincidental but I'm very curious to see how it goes for you :)
saving this video so i can keep coming back to it when i need to ❤ since having my baby 13 months ago i've been on a slow journey back to finding balance within myself. a tiny habit i've managed to restart recently has been just to consciously get ready for bed. for a year, i just crashed out every night with my baby. now i light a candle, do some skincare, put my hair in heatless curls, listen to some relaxing music and properly prepare my body for sleep. it sounds so small and inconsequential but it's improved my mental health so much - just feeling like a have a tiny bit of control over that one element of my day.
I wondered if you have heard of Bruce Perrys work with his 6r's for regulation; relevant, rhythmic, repetitive, relational, rewarding, and respectful things. A big part of why we find repetitive movement and music helping uplift our mood!
Oh Melanie, I’ve been a viewer since 2014 and time and time again it feels like you give me the big sis advice I always when I need to hear it. I’m in my mid twenties now feeling so lost and like my dreams and goals will always be just out of reach, that problems will always get in the way. I feel so behind from my peers in every sense. Seeing your journey and how you constantly refine your wholistic approach to living a more balanced life is inspiring. Committing to going on a casual run/jog to get my brain out of the rut today 🥲 1% marginally better
So glad you're feeling amazing again! I read 'The Magic' by Rhonda Byrne and am finding that practicing gratitude really makes a big difference in our mindset xx
The channel Pain Free You was your best recommendation for general anxiety/symptom coaching! I listen to his videos all the time since you mentioned him a while back
I really appreciate your transparency Melanie. I am seeking an assessment for Autism and ADHD myself. I have been enjoying your content for over 5 years. ❤
Melanie! I love!!! love!!! these videos, was just wondering if you'd ever bridge this kind of content to a podcast? I would love to listen to these on my walks / on the tube - I love you letting us in to your life and it's really inspiring me to start taking care of my own personal health. I heard something that made me think of this topic earlier and it was 'you'd commit to a meeting with a friend, why don't you feel like you are worth enough for your own commitment?' I've always yoyo-ed with big changes around this time of year but always found it difficult to actually commit; but that comment really woke me up to that commitment to myself - anyway just have a think about the podcast thing eh? love your videos always x
I'm really glad you are getting an assessment, it's super important to understand your brain, because that will obviously effect your nervous system 😔 I've done the opposite of you, where my ADHD and autism were diagnosed first, and post PhD submission (next month), I'll be going for a CFS/NFD diagnosis because I very much have those symptoms and am struggling with them and I know that my brain/how society is structured has increased the probability that I ended up with these symptoms 😭
I think it's an ideal time to make changes when your youngest one gets to 18mo/2yrs. I'm also feeling ready to reclaim a few aspects of my life and body! Lovely vid. gavotte x
Having a little insomnia session (the worst time for those cheeky bad habits!) and just loving this and you so much. Your little channel has literally changed my shite life. These little things DO ADD UP. There are still bad habits I cannot seem to shake! Vaping in particular. I know. Feeling overwhelmed, like a failure in this respect. Loving listening to Mel soothe me into sustainable and compassionate change amidst some butter beer. Yas. Thank you compassionate Queen. Now if only I had smellavision. 🍻 🍫
I'm 37 in galway and I just had enough with not coping with 3 kids and feeling so lost and not fitting in the world. I finally started the process of seeking an assesment myself fir adhd. just had a pre assesment last week ans I showb indicators fOr AUDHD. So I will be getting a full assesment in the coming months x it will be life changing for me. I find im drawn to you tubers who are either diagnosed or undiagnosed adhd or autism or both fir years. its like I can sense the similarities and can relate to them x
When I was 17, I had awful insomnia, I used to constantly think negative things and it stopped me from sleeping. Meditation has been life changing and I am 34 now. Half my life I have been meditating at least once per day before bed, before sleeping. I start to meditate and I drop off. Amazing
Not control your thoughts! Choose which thoughts to entertain/focus on…I have most ocd symptoms another thing I don’t talk about (but ask my husband lol, obsessive hand washing 40+ times a day, obsessing over double triple quadruple checking I have turned off the hob or plugged out straightener, lots of obsessing/unwanted thoughts on all kinds of things - but imagining these thoughts like luggage on a belt at the airport and knowing I don’t need to pick them up and cling to them helps me to release them and redirect onto nicer thoughts, such as happy memories or things I want to experience! ❤️🔥❤️🔥
This is so so helpful. I'm currently navigating my own health, wellness and mental health after having my children, and dealing with PMDD (have always had it, but its ramped up since having the kids and getting older). I will be trying some of these, i love the idea of commiting to micro changes, as thinking of it in terms of big changes can be too overwhelming and hard to stick to.
We are the same age and seem to be doing similar habits, but I have never stuck with cold showers before, and you made me try again! Thank you for this. It feels amazing, and I felt much better dipping into a cold sea this October :)
Some people use BH initially to find a therapist and once they do, they then cancel BH and engage that therapist's services directly, if that's an affordable option for anyone feels unsure about the ethics of BH itself. Therapists often offer services via zoom, SMS and phone also so it's a great alternative to the gig economy cycle 😊
i wish i had put more limits on "work time" when i was self-employed, felt like i was lucky to have one hour of "me time", even working through meal times. also i have been trying the "voo" breathing technique, game changer!
As someone who has adhd i do see that in you maybe that’s why i relate to you so much 😊 also you should check your thyroid 💖 it affects a-lot of things you have mentioned
One thing that I really need to do if I’m stuck in a mental rut and struggle to do menial tasks (get out of bed, have a shower etc), is the need to take a deep breath and say ‘Right’ and then just go do the thing. Like a ‘ready set go’ mentality 😅
Silken tofu works just as good as eggs in most baking. And the best thing about it is that no chickens have to suffer for it. A non.selectively bred hen lays about one egg a month just like a human period. Nowadays hens lay nearly one egg each day. As a result their bones are brittle. I spoke to. Sometime who runs a rescue farm, they give the hens hormons to stop laying do many eggs that their bones don6lose so much calcium and their overall well-being improves.
Melanie, I have been following u for long time, we are the same age, same phase of life, two little kids, husband away a lot, breastfeeding, cosleeping, therapy (possibly adhd), house and garden work, online work etc... Do you have some routines with kids? Or mealprep and cleaning routine? Can u do like a weekly vlog? ❤️
I'm travelling at the moment, but when I get home my plan is to get an alarm clock for my bedroom. That way I can leave my phone in another room entirely overnight.
Ooo! I LIKE these doable little activities that we can implement from day to day. SMART goals really. Aim for lower and we’ll be more likely to succeed and then build upon all the little things.. and they become BIG factors that steer us towards life satisfaction 🥰 Ps. The do not disturb thing really resonates!!!😂
Something I learnt recently is that ADHD is less of a distinct thing you do or don't have, and more a cluster of normal human traits that exist on a continuum. So it's less that some people have a distinctly different brain, and more that some people are higher on this scale of normal human traits (mainly executive functioning). Evolutionarily, some people in a community/group being more reactive, risk taking, alert, sensitive would be an advantage!! But systems of education, work, independent life, can be harder for people on the end of the curve that we call ADHD :)) And adjustments and environmental changes are the biggest thing to help
Alex on UA-cam (French guy cooking) did the exact same thing using that book to get quicker at chopping an onion. Not just trying to be quicker, but wearing gloves, using the perfect knife and chopping board, probably the height of the work surface (can't quite remember everything now) and he was way quicker
😫😴 I have been suffering with insomnia for over a year, often not falling asleep until 4am, and spending the days in a persistent state of exhaustion. I decided to try one of those guided sleep meditations by Stevenson that you recommended. At first I was rolling my eyes a bit, sarcastically thinking "Ah sure, the zen woo-woo will solve everything". I followed the directions, and my body started feeling heavy in 5 minutes, and I was startled, smacking my chest because I thought I'd stopped breathing (I think I was reminded a bit of sleep paralysis that I would get from childhood into my teens). I tried again, and I s*$& you not, I fell asleep - proper oblivion sleep - in about 7 minutes. I have tried soft instrumental music, white noise, reading before bed (which sometimes has the counter effect with a stimulating story), a hot shower, and not a damn thing helped. It may have been a fluke, but I'm definitely going to continue with this. Thank you so much for the recommendation Melanie! 💚
My son has adhd and my other half has now started the process of seeing if he has it. Im sure he does. I drink kefir but never gave it to my adhd kid. Getting him to try it now as hes struggling with sleep. Thanks. My son found a colour by numbers app advert and said mum it says if you do this 30mins a day it lowers stress, anxiety and blood pressure which are all my current health issues. I have been using the app a few weeks and love it minus the Constant adverts ha ha
Hi I wanted to say it is totally fair for you to be ill and expect people to care for you etc and I hope you don't feel guilty about it, thank you so much for all the videos you make ❤
I was just told this week I am pre-diabetic and need to cut most of the carbs and snacks out of my diet - and start intermittent fasting every day (ie skipping a meal). I have been feeling very overwhelmed by this. But I have decided to just start moving my breakfast eating time by 30-minute increments to start with, until it is too close to lunchtime to bother - before stopping altogether. Small steps.
I intermittent fast but I don’t skip any meals! I just don’t eat a couple hours before bed, I stay in bed from 8-6 ish then I wait a bit before eating in the morning - still eat 3 meals plus snacks 😍 12-14 hours is enough…and go to town with your protein and fats it really fills you up! Most days for breakfast I have a ton of full fat Greek yogurt, loads of almond butter on top and blueberries + a coffee…it’s sooo satisfying 😍😍
How often would you say you're eating baked goods? Ive been trying to avoid UPFs but then I'm wanting a lot of dark chocolate or baked goods and things.
Girl you and me must have some sort of cosmic link because we KEEP reading the same books. I’ll have just finished reading a book and then you put out a video about the book 😂😂
Obsessed with this new content. (However I don’t love how you had to get here. 😢) Could you start using that bleep tone for curse words all the time? I unwind with my 3 year old and I had to switch channels after the 3rd one lol I have a feeling a lot of moms watch you and probably in ear shot of kids. Anyway, just a suggestion! Love your dress.
One habit that changed my life for the better has less to do with personal health and more to do with social wellbeing. I've been going out of my way to try to have more pleasant interactions everyday. This means small talk with shopkeepers, chatting more with co-workers and uni colleagues, etc. Crucially, the point of this practice is NOT to make new friends but to have more pleasant interactions with strangers and acquaintances. It's easy to identify as an introvert and just limit yourself to close friends, family and significant others, but I find it's surprisingly rewarding to make warmth and gregariousness the default with EVERYONE you interact with.
To be clear, I wasn't being rude before, I was just more quiet and reserved. Adopting an extroverted persona has had a surprisingly positive effect on my life.
There’s research that shows that this is super good for brain health. Our brains love faces..
Same! I’ve been trying to live with a more communal mindset. If somebody speaks to me I’ll respond kindly and if they want to talk, I usually will. If I don’t feel like it I’m still kind.
I love this idea! I haven‘t tried it conciously but looking back I can imagine it can have a positive impact on everyone around you
Ooh this is inspiring. I am still usually quite guarded with strangers, but the few times I've been social with strangers on a train or bus for example, it's been super rewarding.
Love this!!
Reading during public transport has been amazing for me. Less social media and more joy, also helps me leave work at work as a transitional occupation!
Not consuming content on instagram has made me much calmer recently. Seeing that everyone you know is doing something big with their life while you just work and try to stay sane is a comparison that you can't win. And I know that all of them are probably just as unhappy as everyone else, but it's still is enough to cause my anxiety and fomo.
Yes, this. Before, I saw instagram as an inspiration. But did it ACTUALLY inspire me to do something? Very, very rarely. More often it would make me depressed than inspired. The endless scrolling is a hell on earth.
I have done the same with Facebook. I found it was all full of rubbish and bad news.
I like how you matched your dad's kitchen, lol
im so relieved to see you addressing your adhd. im autistic and adhd and i know how life changing it is when you start to accomodate yourself. sooooo proud to hear this.
My small change is that I leave for work over an hour before I need to. This has helped reduce a lot of stress because it means I'm usually driving before major traffic fully hits and also it leaves me time to park at work and go for a walk, begin early, message a friend in another time zone, take a nap, etc.,. It also means my 'second commute' is essentially 50 steps away, which is pretty great!
That's great!
I have a positivity habit I do each morning. When I am walking my dog for an hour I must make a positive moment about every single house I walk past - regardless of how it looks or the overall state of it. Things like - I love the colour of the fence, wow their grass is so green, I like the windows, love the flowers, I love how they are not spending any money on their garden etc.
By the end of the hour I have made so many positive moments that my brain automatically looks for the positive in every situation ❤❤
Love this!
❤
the cold showers are literally life changing. i learned about it from the book Dopamine Nation which i have some nuanced opinions about, but man that one take away has been such a positive for me! daily walks, less/no social media, lots of reading, and taking 10-15 minutes to breathe and stretch before i respond to anything that makes me emotionally activated are my main positive habits right now!
nervous system work has genuinely transformed who i am and how i live and my worldview and everything else. words fail.
Melanie, you're shining, so good to see you happy and healthy
So glad you mentioned ADHD . I was diagnosed last year at 31 it is so under-diagnosed in girls. I can see a hyperfocus in you when you’re passionate about something you’re 1000% in it also adhd people tend to gravitate towards eachother so makes sense why I relate to you so much. Also rejection sensitivity , anxious attachment being more open sexually , problems with alcohol I honestly relate to you so much from what I’ve seen over the years, i remember the video of you and jess sorting your clothes and they were all jumbled and not washed 🤣 I thought omg that’s me, the way you loved sex and the city and can really visualise things like maladaptive day dreaming. Going through more phases than most I was vegan for a long time I got sucked into things. I had medication just for a short period to learn some techniques now I am unmedicated but having my diagnosis has made me understand myself so much more and I know I have a different brain and I see the world just a little different 😅❤
This is such a brilliant video.
One of my habits is a daily gratitude list. I have an A6 book and I fill one page with things I am grateful for that day. Usually I do it at the start and end of the day but sometimes I take the book with me and write things down as they pop in to my head over the course of the day. 💙
I wanted to share something that has helped me so much and I even used today- a compression vest! If you're a very anxious or nervous person, and have no one who can give you a tight squeeze to calm you down or maybe not as often as you need, this does the job! Within minutes, I'm feeling more calm and regulated and it really helps me feel settled and I can think clearly again. Doing the voo breaths with this on is the creme de la creme 👌I got my vest from Sensory Direct!
Way to Go!
Peter Levine approved 💪🏼
18:20 literally BAWLING like a baby right now… oh Mel!! so amazing to hear you are exploring a diagnosis of ADHD. as a woman who has had her diagnosis since the 3rd grade after years of dysfunction in the classroom/at home (i presented as hyperactive- which i’m sure is why it was caught so early. i was unable to control myself and was a distraction to others. had my own seat at the front of the class and everything) i’ve always suspected perhaps you are a high-masking, highly intelligent woman with ADHD. i find i have the deepest, most meaningful connections with creators who i find out are neurodivergent either soon after or years later. just know… i am so excited for you on this journey. it is so validating, so SO important to receive a diagnosis since you resonate as well as have the tools needed to receive one. i wish you the very best and regardless of if you share your where the diagnosis inquiry takes you- you are so valid and just thank you for adding this in ♡ so many people, women especially, present internally or can mask their struggles for years until it comes to a head or they themselves have children who get the diagnosis.
also- i’m on the flip side as you. at 25 years old, i’ve had my ADHD diagnosis for more than 15+ years now but it is only this year that i’ve finally started pursuing therapy- and for my ADHD diagnosis a PSYCHOLOGIST specifically - so we are on this journey together but different parts in life and different aspects of healing. *hugs*
This was so helpful. I’ve been so mentally down and have been avoiding watching self help videos because self growth as an idea feels so exhausting to me right now. How this what framed made me so calm, as did your voice and your advice. I cannot tell you how much this motherly advice helped me. Thank you 💕
I've had one of the worst, most mentally and physically testing years of my adult life, not experienced since 2020. Really appreciate you sharing this video.
Already the beginning is cozy but with some spooky fall aesthetics. Perfect to get through my October college midterm crisis
This video is so good I’m literally about to watch the whole thing again!
One little thing, not so much a habit but more a mindset practice, I’ve learned to accept the fact that now I’m a mum, I’m not gonna get a ‘distinction’ EVERY DAY! Some days it’s ok just to get a ‘pass’ and that’s ok’ thinking like this, coming from a type A personality, has been very freeing 🤩💪
I have a habit for my pretty bad morning depression. There‘s more to it of course and I think if I had read this I might have rolled my eyes. But I try to think about things to look forward to, first thing I wake up. And if there is nothing that day, which happens, I think about what I can implement into my day to look forward to or what I‘m grateful for. It changes everything.
I realized that for me, I don‘t wake up depressed, it‘s the rumination that starts really quickly. And with this habit I just swoop in there and replace them with good thoughts. It changed so much for me.
That doesnt mean of course there shouldn‘t be space for these thoughts.
I like to take time to write down all my fears and thoughts every other day to think them through and give them space but also to leave them in that time. And when you‘re writing and really thinking them through, sometimes there is some epiphany in them. Sometimes I realize what I miss in my life and what I don‘t want anymore.
So thats my advice.
Really enjoyed the video! Thanks for sharing this Mel!
i got diagnosed with ADHD last year and slowly came to realise this is probably why i have watched your content since i was a young teenager!
I have a lot of trouble sleeping. I'm a light sleeper. I have trouble falling asleep. I get up a lot (2-5x a night) to pee, then I have trouble falling asleep after that. I've found that doing just a 15 or 20 minute guided meditation in bed right before sleeping really helps. And if I have trouble falling back to sleep after waking up, doing deep breathing/focusing on my breath and relaxing my muscles really helps. It's not 100%. Sometimes my mind just can't stop and it still takes 2 hours to fall back to sleep, but just generally I've slept a lot better since I started meditating before bed.
There are so many of my small habits in this video 😮❤ the light therapy, daily walk, not working after 5PM, vitamins, appreciation to loved ones, no news. So many! I also have had to take a lot of time to figure out what works for me. These things just stuck.
I have been SO overwhelmed recently with having so much content of my feed of needing to make these huge changes, winter arc etc! Thank you for sharing a manageable way of making things feel better
Meditating every day changed my life - started with 5 mins only. Now I can do it anytime anywhere, almost! The habit I tried to start this week was 15mins yoga every day. I managed 2 days, oh that was last week! Well new week starts tomorrow. Thanks as always yummy Melanie Xx
Once the kids start school you'll have more scheduled kid free time to film easily. My youngest is now in preschool 3 days a week and it's fabulous! Having 2 days to have 1 on 1 time is lovely too.
Melanie, you have no idea how helpful these videos are! I appreciate them so much. I’m unwell with POTS and various other symptoms but do believe it’s as a result of a disregulated nervous system. Would love more videos on this topic in the future (I know you’ve done a few now but just find them so helpful!) and SO happy for you that you’re in a better place. I know I’ll get there too❤️
I believe in you you've got this 💗💪
❤
I’ve probably already told that under another video or on ig but your videos are my comfort. They feel like a relaxing chat with a friend and also so meaningful and informative. Sending you hugs 💚
Ps can’t wait for your Patreon when you’re ready to do it
Melanie! Thank you so much ❤ Your videos are always so calming and make me feel so optimistic and like a normal person lol 😂 this video is so lovely! Sending you a big hug ❤❤❤
This was lovely, Mel. You are always my reminder to get back to my supplement cabinet...
You really are my favorite youtuber because of videos like this! ❤️
My husband is back to school and we both work full-time, so I've been getting back to meal prepping (actually watched this while getting my lunch ready for tomorrow and making tomorrow's dinner!). Knowing that our meals are ready in advance of busy days takes such a weight off my mind.
I've also been working on incorporating meditation and yoga into my weekly routine. Some days are better than others 😅 I've noticed that when I'm consistent, I feel better and more centered, which is good motivation!
-I really struggle with insomnia (both trouble falling and staying asleep) so when I finally do sleep it's so hard to get up in the morning. Now the clocks have just gone back, I'm going to try a sunrise alarm clock where it spends about half an hour slowly lighting up before the alarm goes off. I'm hoping it will be a natural and gentle way to wake me up by activating my circadian rhythm into waking mode (sometimes my alarm goes off when I'm in deep sleep and I'm groggy from the abrupt change because my brain is still flooded with sleep hormones)
-I've also limited my news exposure to once a fortnight and that's been really helpful. I don't look at people's Instagram stories when I'm in bed because they often post stuff about the news and I'm trying to keep my bed as a relaxed spaced
Can I just say that I absolutely LOVE your hair!!
Streching your body even just a little bit is great and I also love having a great decoration in my home, having pretty things on the walls to look at. So even if i'm just laying in bed depressed, I can look at my pretty wall and see things i like
one thing i would like to change in my habits, that you touched base on, is what i consume (news, podcast) on the news and watching true crime, rather now, watching lifestyle channels. something more positive, instead of death and destruction, all the time.
So glad to see you back! I had to step away from your videos during all this turmoil but I'm so glad I never considered unsubbing because I think that deep down I had faith that you would get through it. ❤️
being with my cats, sewing , listening to spooky music/ghost stories with fairy lights never fails to make me happy
I just love your videos. I'm so happy youtube decided to show me your videos. I've been on youtube for ages and surprisingly enough the first video I've seen of yours was your office makeover video. I wish I had found your channel sooner but at least I'm here now.
And I just have to say I love the color theory going on in this video, especially love the little mushrooms on the collar of your dress. Sending love
🖤
Could you make a short list in your description? I have a hard time remembering all the things ❤
Melanie! Have you ever considered you may be AuDHD? (Autistic & ADHD). You remind me SOOOOO much of myself, and I have had many of the same struggles , successes and hyperfocuses as you over the years (plus I'm a fellow sober queen!). The combination of the two makes for the perfect storm of masking. Sorry to be an arm chair psychologist (and feel free to totally dismiss what I am saying, OBVIOUSLY!). However it seems everyone else has been telling you so I thought why not. I'm 36 and worked out I was AuDHD aged 34, then got a private diagnosis. It has been life changing!! Especially tailoring my life for my sensitive needs. Sending lots of love! I wish I was eating that cake, Lizz xx
Hi from Queens, NY! I ❤ DBT Therapy! I took a course @ Columbia University in NYC and learned so many skills to be an improved communicator to my friends/ family. I believe everyone could be better ppl with DBT. Thank you for mentioning this, & stay positive b/c positive things will happen! 🇮🇪🇺🇸🎃🧙🍂
My habit is setting out things for the morning before I go to bed, like my clothes, bag of things for the day, food etc.
I feel a lot calmer starting the day when I know I’ve got a head start 😊
i love your videos, they are so cosy, i'm watching with cocoa and my cats while research for uni
I loved this video! It’s so nice to see more people talking about more of these things, like slowing down and showing gratitude, not consuming the news etc. We’re finally breaking some cycles of previous generations that have been ingrained into society and passed down. Thanks for a lovely wholesome video 💚
Yeah I thikn Mell's the first person I heard talking about not consuming news. I started years ago because I noticed that is just made me feel awful.
your advice is always wonderful to hear
Really interesting to watch as I went through a mental and physical health breakdown earlier this year, and have been learning a lot of the same techniques. Going to bed super early, daily yoga, going for a daily walk, having my supplements somewhere I see them every morning - all of it! Oh and I have ADHD and have always found your speaking rhythm very nice to listen to, one of the few channels where I don't have to watch on 1.5 / 2x. Maybe that's coincidental but I'm very curious to see how it goes for you :)
saving this video so i can keep coming back to it when i need to ❤ since having my baby 13 months ago i've been on a slow journey back to finding balance within myself. a tiny habit i've managed to restart recently has been just to consciously get ready for bed. for a year, i just crashed out every night with my baby. now i light a candle, do some skincare, put my hair in heatless curls, listen to some relaxing music and properly prepare my body for sleep. it sounds so small and inconsequential but it's improved my mental health so much - just feeling like a have a tiny bit of control over that one element of my day.
I wondered if you have heard of Bruce Perrys work with his 6r's for regulation; relevant, rhythmic, repetitive, relational, rewarding, and respectful things. A big part of why we find repetitive movement and music helping uplift our mood!
Oh Melanie, I’ve been a viewer since 2014 and time and time again it feels like you give me the big sis advice I always when I need to hear it. I’m in my mid twenties now feeling so lost and like my dreams and goals will always be just out of reach, that problems will always get in the way. I feel so behind from my peers in every sense. Seeing your journey and how you constantly refine your wholistic approach to living a more balanced life is inspiring. Committing to going on a casual run/jog to get my brain out of the rut today 🥲 1% marginally better
So glad you're feeling amazing again! I read 'The Magic' by Rhonda Byrne and am finding that practicing gratitude really makes a big difference in our mindset xx
The channel Pain Free You was your best recommendation for general anxiety/symptom coaching! I listen to his videos all the time since you mentioned him a while back
I really appreciate your transparency Melanie. I am seeking an assessment for Autism and ADHD myself. I have been enjoying your content for over 5 years. ❤
Melanie! I love!!! love!!! these videos, was just wondering if you'd ever bridge this kind of content to a podcast? I would love to listen to these on my walks / on the tube - I love you letting us in to your life and it's really inspiring me to start taking care of my own personal health. I heard something that made me think of this topic earlier and it was 'you'd commit to a meeting with a friend, why don't you feel like you are worth enough for your own commitment?' I've always yoyo-ed with big changes around this time of year but always found it difficult to actually commit; but that comment really woke me up to that commitment to myself - anyway just have a think about the podcast thing eh? love your videos always x
I'm really glad you are getting an assessment, it's super important to understand your brain, because that will obviously effect your nervous system 😔 I've done the opposite of you, where my ADHD and autism were diagnosed first, and post PhD submission (next month), I'll be going for a CFS/NFD diagnosis because I very much have those symptoms and am struggling with them and I know that my brain/how society is structured has increased the probability that I ended up with these symptoms 😭
I think it's an ideal time to make changes when your youngest one gets to 18mo/2yrs. I'm also feeling ready to reclaim a few aspects of my life and body! Lovely vid. gavotte x
Having a little insomnia session (the worst time for those cheeky bad habits!) and just loving this and you so much. Your little channel has literally changed my shite life. These little things DO ADD UP. There are still bad habits I cannot seem to shake! Vaping in particular. I know. Feeling overwhelmed, like a failure in this respect. Loving listening to Mel soothe me into sustainable and compassionate change amidst some butter beer. Yas. Thank you compassionate Queen. Now if only I had smellavision. 🍻 🍫
I'm 37 in galway and I just had enough with not coping with 3 kids and feeling so lost and not fitting in the world. I finally started the process of seeking an assesment myself fir adhd. just had a pre assesment last week ans I showb indicators fOr AUDHD. So I will be getting a full assesment in the coming months x it will be life changing for me. I find im drawn to you tubers who are either diagnosed or undiagnosed adhd or autism or both fir years. its like I can sense the similarities and can relate to them x
When I was 17, I had awful insomnia, I used to constantly think negative things and it stopped me from sleeping. Meditation has been life changing and I am 34 now. Half my life I have been meditating at least once per day before bed, before sleeping. I start to meditate and I drop off. Amazing
36:07 "you can control your thoughts" *giggles/sobs in OCD*
All jokes aside though, great video as always! So many inspiring points you make 😊
Not control your thoughts! Choose which thoughts to entertain/focus on…I have most ocd symptoms another thing I don’t talk about (but ask my husband lol, obsessive hand washing 40+ times a day, obsessing over double triple quadruple checking I have turned off the hob or plugged out straightener, lots of obsessing/unwanted thoughts on all kinds of things - but imagining these thoughts like luggage on a belt at the airport and knowing I don’t need to pick them up and cling to them helps me to release them and redirect onto nicer thoughts, such as happy memories or things I want to experience! ❤️🔥❤️🔥
Bloody love the yellow aesthetic!😍You look beauts💛💛
This is so so helpful. I'm currently navigating my own health, wellness and mental health after having my children, and dealing with PMDD (have always had it, but its ramped up since having the kids and getting older). I will be trying some of these, i love the idea of commiting to micro changes, as thinking of it in terms of big changes can be too overwhelming and hard to stick to.
Taking a breath before reacting to something has been beneficial for me.
Such a helpful video 🍂
Thankyou so much Melanie🧡xxx
love this! i relate to you in so many things! i'd love to hear more on your compensation techniques for adhd :)
We are the same age and seem to be doing similar habits, but I have never stuck with cold showers before, and you made me try again! Thank you for this. It feels amazing, and I felt much better dipping into a cold sea this October :)
Some people use BH initially to find a therapist and once they do, they then cancel BH and engage that therapist's services directly, if that's an affordable option for anyone feels unsure about the ethics of BH itself.
Therapists often offer services via zoom, SMS and phone also so it's a great alternative to the gig economy cycle 😊
Jason Stephenson and you and Keelan raised me honestly
God I ADORE your videos. Been a silent viewer for years. ❤
i wish i had put more limits on "work time" when i was self-employed, felt like i was lucky to have one hour of "me time", even working through meal times. also i have been trying the "voo" breathing technique, game changer!
💚 Your videos are antistress for me
I so needed this thank you 🫶🏼
As someone who has adhd i do see that in you maybe that’s why i relate to you so much 😊 also you should check your thyroid 💖 it affects a-lot of things you have mentioned
I was diagnosed at age 36 !! It really helped knowing although medication didn’t suit me ❤
One thing that I really need to do if I’m stuck in a mental rut and struggle to do menial tasks (get out of bed, have a shower etc), is the need to take a deep breath and say ‘Right’ and then just go do the thing. Like a ‘ready set go’ mentality 😅
Love this video!! ❤
Loveeeee this ❤ need to focus on the 1%. I got diagnosed with ADHD if that helps, neurodivergent people tend to flock together my friend xx
I love that you dressed to match your dad's kitchen. 😂❤️
Silken tofu works just as good as eggs in most baking. And the best thing about it is that no chickens have to suffer for it. A non.selectively bred hen lays about one egg a month just like a human period. Nowadays hens lay nearly one egg each day. As a result their bones are brittle. I spoke to. Sometime who runs a rescue farm, they give the hens hormons to stop laying do many eggs that their bones don6lose so much calcium and their overall well-being improves.
Melanie, I have been following u for long time, we are the same age, same phase of life, two little kids, husband away a lot, breastfeeding, cosleeping,
therapy (possibly adhd), house and garden work, online work etc... Do you have some routines with kids? Or mealprep and cleaning routine? Can u do like a weekly vlog? ❤️
I just love listening to you. Have you ever thought about making a podcast? 💚
Omg! I was just thinking this too😂😊
I'm travelling at the moment, but when I get home my plan is to get an alarm clock for my bedroom. That way I can leave my phone in another room entirely overnight.
Doing yoga everyday and going in my back inversion table have been great!
Ooo! I LIKE these doable little activities that we can implement from day to day. SMART goals really. Aim for lower and we’ll be more likely to succeed and then build upon all the little things.. and they become BIG factors that steer us towards life satisfaction 🥰
Ps. The do not disturb thing really resonates!!!😂
Something I learnt recently is that ADHD is less of a distinct thing you do or don't have, and more a cluster of normal human traits that exist on a continuum. So it's less that some people have a distinctly different brain, and more that some people are higher on this scale of normal human traits (mainly executive functioning). Evolutionarily, some people in a community/group being more reactive, risk taking, alert, sensitive would be an advantage!! But systems of education, work, independent life, can be harder for people on the end of the curve that we call ADHD :)) And adjustments and environmental changes are the biggest thing to help
Alex on UA-cam (French guy cooking) did the exact same thing using that book to get quicker at chopping an onion. Not just trying to be quicker, but wearing gloves, using the perfect knife and chopping board, probably the height of the work surface (can't quite remember everything now) and he was way quicker
😫😴 I have been suffering with insomnia for over a year, often not falling asleep until 4am, and spending the days in a persistent state of exhaustion. I decided to try one of those guided sleep meditations by Stevenson that you recommended. At first I was rolling my eyes a bit, sarcastically thinking "Ah sure, the zen woo-woo will solve everything". I followed the directions, and my body started feeling heavy in 5 minutes, and I was startled, smacking my chest because I thought I'd stopped breathing (I think I was reminded a bit of sleep paralysis that I would get from childhood into my teens). I tried again, and I s*$& you not, I fell asleep - proper oblivion sleep - in about 7 minutes. I have tried soft instrumental music, white noise, reading before bed (which sometimes has the counter effect with a stimulating story), a hot shower, and not a damn thing helped. It may have been a fluke, but I'm definitely going to continue with this. Thank you so much for the recommendation Melanie! 💚
My son has adhd and my other half has now started the process of seeing if he has it. Im sure he does.
I drink kefir but never gave it to my adhd kid. Getting him to try it now as hes struggling with sleep. Thanks.
My son found a colour by numbers app advert and said mum it says if you do this 30mins a day it lowers stress, anxiety and blood pressure which are all my current health issues. I have been using the app a few weeks and love it minus the Constant adverts ha ha
Hi I wanted to say it is totally fair for you to be ill and expect people to care for you etc and I hope you don't feel guilty about it, thank you so much for all the videos you make ❤
I love how your outfit is giving halloween 😊
I was just told this week I am pre-diabetic and need to cut most of the carbs and snacks out of my diet - and start intermittent fasting every day (ie skipping a meal). I have been feeling very overwhelmed by this. But I have decided to just start moving my breakfast eating time by 30-minute increments to start with, until it is too close to lunchtime to bother - before stopping altogether. Small steps.
I intermittent fast but I don’t skip any meals! I just don’t eat a couple hours before bed, I stay in bed from 8-6 ish then I wait a bit before eating in the morning - still eat 3 meals plus snacks 😍 12-14 hours is enough…and go to town with your protein and fats it really fills you up! Most days for breakfast I have a ton of full fat Greek yogurt, loads of almond butter on top and blueberries + a coffee…it’s sooo satisfying 😍😍
I was also pre-diabetic back in 2019 and what helped my most apart from cutting carbs and IF was weightlifting. It changed my life honestly 😭
Me commenting on this cause I'm changing 3 big things at once and this is my reminder to come back if I fail and do atomic habits 🤣
Hi Melanie! Do you prefer a multivitamin or separate ones? I take a multi for ease but wondering if you've found separate better?
How often would you say you're eating baked goods? Ive been trying to avoid UPFs but then I'm wanting a lot of dark chocolate or baked goods and things.
When I eat them I make them myself. So I know what's in them. Plus it's so much fun.
Girl you and me must have some sort of cosmic link because we KEEP reading the same books. I’ll have just finished reading a book and then you put out a video about the book 😂😂
A habit I’ve started is listening to a woman with a lovely accent talk about whatever.
Maybe check if the caffeine in the tea and coffee inhibits the absorption of certain minerals in your supplements
not betterhelp
Idk why I'm watching this a student with zero free time or money, I know I'm not gonna be able to do any of these things 😢
Obsessed with this new content. (However I don’t love how you had to get here. 😢)
Could you start using that bleep tone for curse words all the time? I unwind with my 3 year old and I had to switch channels after the 3rd one lol I have a feeling a lot of moms watch you and probably in ear shot of kids.
Anyway, just a suggestion! Love your dress.
I keep a book by the toilet that I only read there. That has helped me have a good old fashioned "90's poo."