I started judo in my 30s. First week i got thrown all over the place by a very heavy middle school kid. Maybe he was 14? The adult judokas laughed. I didnt quit. I practiced for more than a year and couldnt throw ANYBODY at the club during sparring. I thought my judo sucked bad. One day a friend of mine had a few drinks and started wrestling with me. I was able to throw him all over the place and without hurting him because of the control i had. I realized that people at the judo club KNOW JUDO and what i was trying to do. Normal people dont and cant see you setting them up for a throw. It has always worked like magic against them. My point is that i am not a good judoka and am not athletic enough to ever be a top guy. But i am getting better....slowly. I hope you hang in there brother if that is what you wish. But even if you decide that bjj isnt for you, that is fine. Find a sport that is and keep your head up high. Just remember that EVERYTHING you learn will be hard at first and you are only competing with yourself. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. Best of luck.
I'm a judo guy too we had a dude come to the gym and he was struggling cus obviously he was new and everyone in the school was experienced and many people are black belts from Cuba and were in college and in the national team in Cuba. Long story short the guy started with us and like 3 months into the class he was wrestling his buddy home and he did a sasae to the guy and broke his arm and like a month later his gfs dad got drunk and started to pick on him and he put him in a choke... He's been training for a year now and he's a total weapon great and humble guy too but just goes to show that even if you struggling with ppl that know it doesn't mean you don't know, you just don't have the mat time the other ppl have had.
Your videos are great too. I was inspired by your honesty looking at your own style realistically. Most people would not be able to get past their sunken cost bias like you did. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Don't base your self esteem on being "strong" or "good at something" there will almost always be someone better then you at something. Base your self esteem on being the kind of person who faces your inadequacies and puts in the work to improve them. That way no matter what the challenge it just makes you stronger.
Oh man...One of the reasons I love this channel is that you can see that Ramsey is emotionally invested in the advice he gives. He has developed empathy and cares. I really do hope this piece advice you gave the guy paid off.
I can really relate to the young man taking bjj, but instead of being to small. I was really over weight at 305lbs and only 5''6'. I have a disease called schizoaffective disorder. Basically having bipolar and schizophrenia together, its rough disease. I knew I was going to progress much slower than everybody else. (Nature of the illness) So I just enjoyed being around everybodys company. Few times I really made friends outside of being in group therapy. So far I have been training for 9 months, lost over 80lbs and hopefully doing my first tournament in 3 or 4 months. Right now I would not focus on how well you are killing people on the mat, but that you are making good relationships.
6'1" and 90 lbs?!?!? Ramsey, now YOU OWE US A PHOTOGRAPH! That is beyond thin. For reference, one of the skinniest model in the world is Loana Spangenberg. She's 5'6" and weigh 84 lbs. YOU WERE THINNER THAN ONE OF THE SKINNIEST FEMALE MODEL IN THE WORLD!!!
That's why I think it's gotta be bullshit. I am about the same height and thought below 60 Kg I wouldn't be able to even stand. At 40 Kg I think no body can even stay alive for long at that height. He mus have been in hospital dealing with serious disease barely staying alive.
I was in somewhat of a similar boat, so I believe him. When I was around 16, I was 5' 11" which is around 181 cm and I only weighed a little over 110 lbs (50 kg). I'm now 6'2" and 160 lbs (72.5kg). Obviously, I could do with some bulking, but I've been in that position where I've looked like a huge stick.
@@firetrucksolitarykiller9969 dude, I was 1,81 meters tall and 47 kg, it's not 40, but it's close, today I am fatter, but still pretty thin I might be 53kg. it's not impossible to live like that, it ain't healthy, but it's livable.
21:37 this right here was the game changing advice for me in EVERY aspect of my life. Take a deep breath and slow wayyyyyy down. - instant stamina boost - instant speed boost - instant confidence boost
As someone who deals with severe depression and massively low self esteem on a near daily basis, i feel your pain bro. But Ramsey is 100% on point. You just gotta keep grinding on. Take it one day at a time.
Zone of Proximal Development is a real thing. Gotta find where that zone is. Don't compare yourself to the guy/gal next to you; compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
Such a great video. I struggle with major-depressive disorder and BJJ is such a release for me. Not having role models and real parent figures the instructors were real role models for me in my life.
The hug thing you mentioned is important. My favorite professor at university taught classes in exercise and wellness, exercise physiology, etc and part of his advice to improve your overall health was to give yourself a hug. He said three hugs a day brought you back to baseline, but five was ideal to start to improve your life. A hug didn't necessarily mean a hug either; it was sort of a metaphor for self-care and self-love. So to give yourself a hug meant to take time out just for you and do things like pray, take a walk, meditate for a few minutes, sit and observe silence, and that sort of thing.
9:20 "when you have some skills it's liberating" Exactly.. I have been training judo and kickboxing for a few year and I still get nervous before practice and even more nervous before matches! Because I still (warranted) don't feel confident in my abilities, but I find comfort in the fact that it will come with time
Nearly 2m height and 40kg? WHAT? =O Anyways. My gateway martial art was Kyokushinkai karate. Man it was hard for 15 year old to get punched and kicked that hard. First 2-3 belts I was crying after the kumite. Also suffered depression to the point of being suicidal, Since early childhood. I wanted to do marial arts, to be interesting and in controll to grow an identity for my self, because the one I had was: my name = sware word in our familly. Anyways I quit and gone back and quit and gone back again and again. Getting my ass handed to me, but also learning. Long story short: most valuable lession was I got to find out what is real and what is an illusion. I discovered how weak both mentally and physically I was, which to my surprise was a lot less, than I thought. I started recognizing that I can take a hard punch and that I can deliver some pretty hard back. And so my nightmares started turning from me running away from monsters to me turning around and beating the shit out of the monsters. Martial arts destroy illusions. if approached with absolute honesty. If you stop judging your self, your ego stops getting hurt because you will be you, not you trying to be what you think you are. Peace.
Not kidding. Half way through your video, I had put on my running shoes and was off. 2nd half of the video watched, and the sincerity made this one of the finest videos I've seen here on UA-cam to date. Hands down. I don't always like what you say and do otherwise but that's ok. This one is gold 🥇
i was on autoplay, and i didn't expect to cry. but when you talked about those moments where it gets better, when you talked about the feeling you get when you pass on your knowledge, i definitely did. thanks for the clarity.
Touching and honest response to a hard if question that everyone deals with. Take out the martial arts and it's still a pretty good answer for depression and uncertainty. Love your emotional honesty Ramsey, so much better than anger I often see on UA-cam.
Dewey. Thank you for your compassionate and intelligent words. I was the skeleton man too. After training now a couple years in the dojo I find myself often the person that people look up to. It does get better and it’s wonderful that you shared that with this young man.
"Improvement does not come from rep to rep, but from sleep to sleep." Amazing quote, I will carry that with me in my training day to day. Thank you for this video.
"I believe in you." That's the most powerful phrase that you can tell anyone. Great speech! I would say that he is looking forward to success and not finding it. I failed a lot in Jiu-Jitsu because I couldn't' keep up regularly with my classes. But get smashed never bothered me. I knew I was learning, in victory or in defeat. And I do believe that self-esteem is something that cannot be smashed. It can only be reinforced with the truth. The only thing which can destroy self-esteem is ego. The ego of being larger than you are, for self-esteem is all about knowing your limits. I'd personally like to advise him to practice the cultivation of patience as you did convey as well. You might not be where you want to be, but as long as you can keep up, you will get there.
Sir ... probably the greatest gift one human being can grant a depressed person is the gift of presence. And you did that. Magnificently. Good on ya. I'm an old guy. And I've had to deal with depression and PTSD kinds of stuff throughout my adult life. I've trained in a range of disciplines and styles, and have fallen inactive in recent years. A while back I decided to "get back out and train". Not to win. Not to be better than someone else. But to better than the guy I was yesterday. (Which, given my current condition, is not that hard to accomplish ... :D ) There is no question that training helped me during the years in which my psyche was most screwed up. But it helped most if I focused on "being better than the guy I was yesterday", and trying to be a good peer to my fellow students. And, by doing that, I advanced, gained skills and won sparring matches every now and then. I also learned that there seems to be this big, powerful connection between mind and body. Specifically, if I was in the depths of depression, it was harder to improve even though I maintained discipline and focus during my training. It was as if my mind was creating an artificial plateau I could not surpass. At some point, during one of those plateaus, about a year long, I tried therapy ... and somehow I got past that plateau after a couple of months. Cognitive therapy was really beneficial to me, but for others chemical therapy (drugs) may also be needed, at least for a time. Thinking processes, exercise, diet ... these can all affect brain chemistry. But sometimes the brain needs some help, at least for a time. Someone in the comments mentioned getting the thyroid checked ... that is a very good idea. But I personally urge the young man who reached out to you to seek professional help ... and keep on training! There is no shame or disgrace in it. I've known academic geniuses and genuine war heroes who sought and obtained that help. And there is no need to choose between inner personal growth and healing, and martial arts training. In my experience, these are mutually supporting practices. Best of luck, to that young man.
I'm 215 and 5.10, and I feel like I get picked apart easily by the new white belts. I often get discouraged, but one thing I've learned from my discouragement is that it implies that a "good day" means beating someone else up, and a "bad day" means getting beaten up myself. The mindset itself is wrong to have, especially when you're at a smaller gym and you're gonna be sparring with the same experienced pratictioners regularly. A good day at BJJ is one where I'm implementing what I learned during the drill into the roll. Nothing more, nothing less. Try to adopt that attitude, and then you're in control of the good days
There's no reason to assume that a person who runs his own mma school and can speak with authority & enthusiasm on a topic can't also suffer from depression. But it's still surprising to hear. Thanks Dewey, for being so open. It may've been effortless for you but it makes a difference.
This was one f***ing moving monologue, Ramsey. I'm that guy, but 5'4" and about 110 pounds, but I'm 43 y.o.. I use to train judo and I'm researching some jiu-jitsu gym to train with my son, wich is 8 y.o. and very shy, but the atmosphere in the jiu-jitsu gyms in Brazil can be very toxic. I'm looking for a place where train with him and develope his self-esteem, so his not going to experience the problems that I did. I thought judo woould do the trick, but he HATED it, because all he did was falling and being thrown down. I couldn't help him (in fact, I probably made it worse for him) and now he hates judo. I hope jiu-jitsu is going to be a different thing, especially now that I have your advice to keep in mind. Thanks a lot!
Ramsey I needed to hear so many of these words more than you know. I feel like I'm on the verge of quitting BJJ. Been a white belt for at least 6 months. The anxiety I feel before EVERY class feels crushing, some days more than others, cause I know I'm going to get owned (again). A small, absolute minute part of me is always grateful for going, but for the most part I feel crushed at the realisation and reminder of how vulnerable and useless I am at BJJ. Feeling like I don't want to carry these feelings anymore. That's the game I guess, I will try to keep on trying. Thanks again Ramsey
very good video coach!! I relate to this because I was quite weak myself! I too suffer from mental illness,autism and bipolar to be precise. when I was a kid (I'm 19 I don't know if you still consider that a kid or not) in elementary school,I moved to Mexico to be raised by my grandma (lots of issues with my parents at that age so they had no choice but to send me with my grandma).... I was this scrawny,skinny,weak little kid with a heavy american accent..... due to this I was always bullied,they would threaten me,demand that I do their english homework,and often straight out BEAT ME!!! I was getting tired of it,and didn't kow how to fight back.... School in Mexico actually praises fighting against bullies instead of punishing it,so,my grandma,getting tired of seeing me with black eyes and bruises,sent me to a karate(shorin ryu and kyokushin) and TKD instructor that she knew and he eventually took me in for free! but I was the weakest guy in class,just as said in this video,even the smallest girls in class could outfight me. but over 6 years of training I got to the point where I got good and where I beat the living hell out of my bullies,got a built body,etc. once I came back to the USA to finish highschool,I started Judo and BJJ,then eventually,muay thai and wrestling aswell,and experienced the same problems again! EVERYONE could beat me,no matter how small and even big overweight dudes beat me into oblivion! jiu jitsu ruined my self esteem as well for a while I thought "all these years of training and conditioning for nothing?" but then I think to myself "wasn't this normal in the first place?" it took me a long time to score my first submission and even now after a year of getting better I still get beat by stronger dudes,especially those that look like they're on the juice,even on their first day! I still get depresssed from time to time but I always still motivate myself to train as much as possible! OSS
Most people over the age of 27 considers someone to still be a kid at 24, the United Nations follows this doctrine. So at 19, you're still a kid, but legally you're an adult.
I chronically struggle with my sleep, and I often have no energy to do what I really want in life. I have low self esteem because of that, feeling hopeless in a seemingly rotting world, and I rot with it. "Hang in there and the sun is going to come out again my friend" That message warmed my heart. I needed to hear those words. Thank you.
I dont know how you do it man. I am going through this right now. This video speaks to me. I feel I am horrible at judo and I want to quit out of frustration from constantly failing.
Well, maybe you are just doing it the wrong way? Im a boxer... I wanted to be like dempsey or tyson... Ive put my whole effort into punching really hard and work on thw inside... My punch is now great and i can handle myself quite good at that... But i just cant really do it... Its too hard to do that... But if instead i go on the outside, float like a butterfly... Play my footwork, etc... Im untouchable... I wasted my time trying to work on the inside... And turns out i should have worked the outside from the begining... Maybe you need to learn more strategies and see what works for you?
@@blindassassin8553 well, i never tried it... But usually, most combat sports have a few different strategies... Defensive/ofensive... Outside fighter vs inside fighter. Etc... Just try to see whatbfits with you the most ñ_ñ
On your BJJ journey, dont compare yourself to other students. This guy says he is humble with no ego yet it is ego that complains he cant beat anybody there! I personally am not in BJJ to beat my classmates but to beat myself! BJJ made me healthy, with endurance, I feel better about myself, and I am still learning a Martial Art that I can defend myself with. Dont worry about results. Dont worry about belts and stripes. Just show up, train, and stop worrying. Everything will fall into place in time. Defeat the self first. We are all on different paths, not all of us are blessed with great genetics and geniuses on top of it. Most of us really have to work hard at anything, whether we are painting a house or fixing a car it takes patience.
Hey Ramsey, thanks for the video, seriously. I'm new to bjj and I'm in a situation very similar to this man, I'm also strugling with depression and all that stuff... Your words really helped me. Thanks again!
From what I’ve seen, the ones who struggle the most through out anything like sports, martial arts etc are the ones who become the teachers of the upcoming generations. Those who stuck with it obviously. Now becoming good enough for anything to the point we’re it seems like second nature will always take time. For me baseball was something I had a natural affinity for. I was and still am at home with a glove and a bat. That sacred diamond I know so well is my home away from home. I’ve played everywhere on the field, from a closing pitcher to left bench and batboy. I’ve been the hero of my team and the game ruiner. It not only made me feel great, it also humbled me and got me extremely down at times. I know BJJ and baseball are nowhere near the same thing but it taught me that anyone, no matter what can teach you anything. Even if it’s something you already knew, sometimes you need a reminder and don’t quite know it. Baseball has become apart of my life just like martial arts has become apart of others. I will always be a student of the game in a way. Every time I reached the point where I was emotionally broken and my hobbies where coming into question, I noticed that as I pressed on I was being molded. Like steel. Steel must be heated up to be forged into a weapon and rapidly cooled for strength and durability. If you work at it no matter the material, an edge will form. You will gain the ability to exert your will power and with time just like forging a blade you will become dangerous to your classmates/opponents. The most effective in anything are the ones who have usually developed a strong heart and emotional maturity. Trust me you learn that when life kicks you while your down and seemingly humiliates you. When humility becomes a part of you a strong foundation develops in you mentally and emotionally. It’s not easy when it’s the first thing u develop in anything you are getting into, but my lord sometime later you might find yourself ahead of those other classmates. Everyone starts somewhere in everything and going through the lowest of the lows is something I completely relate to. If anyone reads this at all know that even the longest of tunnels end somewhere. The rockiest of roads eventually become smooth and lead you somewhere. In any hobby, time and perseverance will decide who hones there skills and who does not, and yes that means knowing what it’s like to be/feel like your powerless or undisciplined. Hold your head high and remain humble in anything. Even the most naturally talented learn or go through the lowest of the lows. Please do not give up. Fulfillment comes to a lot of people who had to struggle and train hard seemingly more often then the ones who are naturally gifted. It may be the worst in the beginning, but you will find that light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to be willing to walk there. If it’s something you want to get good at then the effort you put in and the time you spend will eventually yield something. And that something may surprise you and a bunch of others around you. Sorry I put my whole life story in a UA-cam comment.
So this is officialy my favourite video on this platform. I can really relate to it, and just watching this made me feel so much better about everything - so, thank you Ramsey!
This video really connected with me. I re-started Jiu-Jitsu only recently after starting, stopping, starting again, and a long break a few years prior. I feel as if I've never developed any real skill at it. I'm trying to go back more consistently now, and I really relate to the guy in this video that Ramsey is addressing, because boy am I ever that guy at where I go. I'm the sweat-mop for the mats, and have barely ever, if ever, submitted anyone, the best I can do being to survive the round. I really appreciate this video and how you responded to it. I've watched this multiple times before going lately, and I'm not too proud to say that it really helps. I won't be giving up anytime soon, and I hope he doesn't either.
Very inspiring words! I really hope the young man is able to find the good in all the bad that he is over looking. Depression sucks! I could really see the emotion in Mr. Dewey and feel it too. It was very emotional. Having a good support network such as positive friends and family will help if someone is struggling in life.
The way to success consists of failure. I am doing BJJ as well. And I got my ass handed to out to me. But I observed, I watched videos, I built up my strength, I am getting better, I think a lot of my breath. My friend, you have not given up. You are strong. Big biceps win fights but if everything else is even the spirit saves you. Good luck!
Such great advice. We're always struggling against our limitations, and they are very individual. And humbling. Ego will always be there, and I expect that it will be a lifelong struggle for most people. It would be the exceptional person who doesn't.
Hey Ramsey, After our last discussion I watched this video, hoping you would advise the guy to consider professional help to deal with his depression. I'm somewhat disappointed that you didn't, but I am grateful for the empathic speech. I keep hoping that you will eventually also advise people with chronic depression to at least consider going to see a psychiatrist, it might safe their life or its quality. Get out there and preach ;-)
Not the sort of thing I'd usually dream of posting on the internet but fuck it. You really helped me like twice this month sir, and neither time I clicked your video was I looking for anything other than entertainment. You're such a smart interesting cat Ramsey Dewey. Keep doing that.
You are a good and wise person. Everything you said was right on. I am bipolar and suffer depression on top of the depression from being bipolar, so I know the problems Orangeade and you and others face. I deal with it by; learning what makes me happy and unhappy, behaviour modification, cognitive behavior modification, intermittent fasting and meditation (non religious). I also walk, lift weights, and shadow box. I can't do that much exercise because I had Hepatitis C and was bed ridden for fourteen years. (I was cured three years ago.) But I do what I can, and that is enough. Thank you for being one of the good people. One day I'll think of a question to ask, but mostly others ask you first and I reap the rewards. Also I read the Dempsey book and the new rules of lifting because of you. I enjoy all of your videos. Thanks Rik
@@xyon9090 you are getting broken by every day of your life, you change your mentals ego etc, than coming back to normal takes a lot of work. I have been there, another day wont repair your situation, only act can. Self improvement is the key
I have a schoolmate, who is 2xOM bronze in judo +100kg ( 1xMM gold etc), he is one year younger than me. Every time, when we meet, we shake our hands and every time we talk about life and martial arts etc. Every time when we shake our hands, I feel his power. And I think, that not my weight, not today, but what if I.... etc. What I mean, there will allways be something, what we will not got. Make peace with death, make peace with life, make peace with yourself. And train, train hard!
Thank you for a touching, heartfelt, courageous and highly inspiring video, Coach Ramsey! It's the best out of a dozen or so of your videos that I've seen since discovering your channel sometime last week. Your video makes me think of two other remarkable people: Josh Waitzkin and Charles Eisenstein. As in your video, Waitzkin's book, The Art of Learning, describes his journey from being a beginner in martial arts to becoming a high level fighter. Much of his learning and improvement had to do with self-respect, perseverance, "investing in loss" (i.e. not having to win) and patience. Patience is a word you used more than once in the video and what I have observed from people who are good at learning is that they have the patience of angels. Here's one of my favorite quotes from the book: “Not only do we have to be good at waiting, we have to love it. Because waiting is not waiting, it is life.” Charles Eisenstein was not only the slowest and weakest runner on our junior high track team, he was mercilessly bullied by the big guys in school. He kept plodding along, however, and by his senior year he was a member of the State Championship 4x800 relay team. He later ran varsity on Yale's cross country team, became a Chinese translator, yoga teacher, and renowned radical economist, philosopher and author. Like you, Charles never lost his vulnerability, humility, child-like curiosity or patience. (Unlike you, he stayed thin as a rail--more useful to a long distance runner or yoga teacher than to a fighter!) I believe it's precisely these attributes that have propelled him in unexpected directions, kept him afloat during times of great difficulty, and led him to make important discoveries. A final thought (unrelated to Waitzkin and Eisenstein) directed to the man who bravely sent in this important question: I wonder if you would consider pursuing a different martial art, or even a different discipline altogether. I wonder if, in other words, you might more readily discover joy in something else outside of jujitsu. This is not to say that you couldn't find it in jujitsu, but that there is a big world out there and you often don't know until you try something. Maybe, for example, you would prefer boxing or basketball or tango or ballet or chess or sewing or Greek mythology. We must be thankful for people like Coach Ramsey, not necessarily for choosing martial arts, but for choosing what he loves (and perhaps for learning to love what he initially might not have loved). Likewise, we can thank Aretha Franklin for choosing music, Muhammad Ali for boxing, James Baldwin for literature, etc. At the same time, I think it's important to be wary of pushing ourselves unnecessarily through a particular ordeal. Braving an ordeal can indeed make you stronger, yet, it can in some cases make you neurotic. Andre Agassi's ghost-written autobiography makes the latter point quite eloquently. Some of the Soviet soldiers who made it through siege of Stalingrad and some of the Americans who survived the Battle of the Bulge were heroes and came back mentally stronger. Others suffered mental breakdowns. Given this dichotomy, I believe that even though it's often better to persevere and keep at it, sometimes we're better off quitting. Only you will know for sure. Trust yourself.
Regarding BJJ and getting beat up. It took me 1.5 years if not more to even have a chance against some of my training colleagues. I was among the first to start training BJJ in that gym, yet new people showed up, some of which outpaced me quite fast. But again, do not give up, as those "AHA!" moments will change your life. Defeating in BJJ someone who has your number is one of the best feelings in the world. As for people in general? You can be as weak as they come, if you train regularly, and you try new stuff, you will get better. It takes time but it can be done. If everything else fails, try rolling while high, that's a game changer. You have a lot of fun doing it, and you also work out.
I'm really glad I found your channel the other day, every advice you give is relatable in some way or another, and even if it isn't, I'm sure its something I'll have to confront down the line (now that I decided to go back to BJJ)
What I heard: Let your opponent expend their energy and remember the heat of the sun to fill in your fears. Glorious. I’m certainSun Tzu would be impressed! Also you can do exercises to build your ‘reservoir of power’ with non-combat training such as breath work, Olympic lifting and plyometrics. Wim Hoff, Pyrros Dimas, Idu Portal and of course Ramsey Dewey are great resources for that! Looking forward to hearing more and never give up!
Less thinking more training. Remember the techniques with your blood, body and bones. Don`t think, just train. Never stop. In a point of time, you will find out that life has no meaning. Except what you put in it. :)
I'm not a Doctor but i would still advise this commenter to get some blood work done . The body can often lead the mind , and vice versa. Your testosterone may be super low , or you may have some other condition to address that manifests as something mental when it's actually physical.Clinical Depression is no joke at all, as Mr. Dewey stated. It kills people. It's a Medical condition , not just a case of the blues that you can suck it up and get out of. Make sure your body is working right, then get back into training
Considering he's in college he's probably on one of these psychiatric drugs they hand out like candy over there. Antidepressants, antipsychotics, stimulants for ADHD. All kinds of drugs that ruin your life and make you a braindead zombie while claiming to help you. Psychiatry is a pseudo science.
I had an emotional breakdown and mild depression as an adult. I woke up crying and I had to literally hit myself to get a bit of anger that makes the emotional pain stop for a while. Other than the sense of duty for my son, only kyokushin training helped, but I also thought out help. I don't know about Jitsu, but in my dojo our Shihan made me hit the bag and get into total physical exhaustion. I know he sensed the darkness in me and wanted to help. If your Jitsu gym has the martial qualities too, they will help in their own way man. Don't be afraid to talk. Respect to you for being able to talk about your situation with honesty. Best of luck!
You have a very sincere nature man I really enjoy listening to you. I was considering quitting due to injury but watching your video, you reminded me of that feeling of some bad experiences in high school which I still find myself running over my mind 20 years later. I never want that feeling again so if I bang up my body I can deal with that but if I am humiliated again I can't think about that for another 20 years so fuck it I will keep learning BJJ
Just a correction, alligator snapping turtles, according to wikipedia, live around 80 to 120 years, but it's believed they can live for up to 200 years... I'm sorry if it seems like I'm acting like a condescending asshole, but it's really not what I want to do, just a little piece of interesting info. Anyway, thank you, Ramsey Dewey, even if I'm not in that guy's situation, it's easy to relate to his case, and your words do help. Guy that asked the question, I hope you manage to grow stronger and more confident. Cheers.
Excellent advice and content there Ramsey. I remembered one of my "Aha" moments hearing about your advice of playing the waiting game instead of going into panic mode. I was playing a game of face slapping with a friend in his backyard. It helps me to train my movements, positioning but my guard was constantly being taken down and being slapped. Then... I had a flashback of my instructor advising us all about the importance of being relaxed. I had held my guard so strongly that my arms were not in a position to move quickly to counter the attack. I relaxed my guards and waited for his attack on my guard. When he had hit my guard downwards, his guard was also open and my arm was able to move in a circular fashion to slap him before he could launch his strike. I remembered the look on his face "where did that arm come from?". Until that point in time, I had no idea about the qualities of being relaxed.
Thanks for that Coach im a short man 5.3 feet and really light weight 58 kgs i feel like i am strong for my size but i still struggle in BJJ even though i go slow i keep on going, sometimes i feel lack of motivation but i still keep going im almost a blue belt but i train more in no gi ‘cause my focus is more on self defense sometimes i feel bad and depressed after being crushed in bjj, specially against people who started after me…but if i dont’t train i feel worse.. so i keep on going. maybe someday ill beat my internal enemies and your channel has being helping me a lot.
Ramsey, truly fantastic video! Some really perfectly placed words here for the guy who emailed in. I saw you getting a little emotional, I'm guessing this was at a point where you could really feel yourself "giving", maybe even a feeling of god talking through you, IDK but Splendid stuff all the same!! I get a lot out of your videos man! The only one I've seen that I disagree on is the "vegetarian argument" and the logic you present about "you're always killing something" which is undeniabley true but I think you have some more layers of the onion to peel back there, its not quite that simple. Great stuff Ramsey!!! Now get out there and train!!!
Ramsey, you are a great person and I hope you are blessed in this world as I am sure you will be in the next. Loving your neighbors and especially the ones who are in the enemy category has always been my greatest challenge and it still is to this very moment. That said, although I fall short in every spiritual endeavor I strive to overcome, the gap I invariably leave is happily and without debt being incurred , spanned by our glorious Savior! That is my sunny day when I really need it and brother it rains a lot in this big cesspool within which we currently reside. I would love to hear the about the struggle of a return missionary not speaking to others about the plan of salvation. It mist be especially challenging for you in one the largest areas in the world that has been devoid of the potential path to salvation that I assume you believe to possess?!?! That in itself could drive one to depression! Clearly, you have the ethics and provide an excellent example for others. In any event, keep up with the CTR ‘ing and thank you for trying to help our little brother struggling with mental/ physical shortcomings! Hopefully we can pray him past the adversary he cannot see but is the only one capable of pushing him into hopelessness. I hope he reads this missive and knows how many of us love him, care that he is here, and proud of him for not quitting! God Bless you brother! I was a casual fan but now I am awarding you my official black belt in humanity. I bow to you sir!
I’ve been there too. And I can tell you some day in the future you’ll be able to look at a new problem and say, “I’ve been through worse. I’ve worked with less.” Good luck and stay frosty.
Ramsey, love your videos, keep up the great work! Thanks in large parts to your videos, I started taking jiu jitsu again, after having tried it on and off again before
Mr. OranJade, Mr. Ramsey has some really good advice I share a lot of what you have been through. Please keep going and go slow. Your breakthrough could be just right at the corner. Practice one or two moves constantly and consistently. Don't worry about all the submissions and fancy stuff. Work on what your weakest points first and keep working at it. You will pull through one day. Seek help with a professional for your mental health. Usually colleges and universities have counselors to help with depression... I have been where you have and at my age, still struggles. (Went back to BJJ at age 50 and got my butt whooped by 15 yo ladies)... Your sincerety and honesty is to be applauded. Your sunshine is coming. ☮️
Is some gyms that only want money but others are really and truly care about you, if I didn't step on an amazing gym I would have never been able to carry on in life, because every time that I wanted to give up, I'll have the coach coming over and explaining what were my mistakes and how I should approach them, those where one of the best moments of my life.
Here are some ideas.... 1. Try a different school,gym, or dojo 2. Quit temporarily 3. Try doing less in life in general 4. Spend time with friends 5. Read Robert E. Howard books (Conan,Solomon Kane, etc)
Great video Ramsey. I fought against depression for a while, I got through it by forcing myself to fight and train every.single.day. Granted, most of those days I didn't feel like training, but at the end I did it and felt better. Consistency and resilience helped a lot. I'll leave you with a quote from a weapon master we study in our HEMA class. "(...) but it is necessary that he seek daily to play with diverse players, and being able to do so, he must always practice with those who know more than he, because the player with such practiced wits will become most perfect in this virtue." - Ridolfo Capoferro.
So I have said it before and I will say it again. BJJ, and martial arts as a whole, can have positive mental health benefits. However, I have never seen any indications to suggest it is any more than any other social, skill-based physical activity. If you wouldn't expect joining an intramural soccer league to resolve your particular psychological or emotional issues, BJJ, karate, or any other martial art/combat sport probably won't either.
I started judo in my 30s. First week i got thrown all over the place by a very heavy middle school kid. Maybe he was 14? The adult judokas laughed. I didnt quit. I practiced for more than a year and couldnt throw ANYBODY at the club during sparring. I thought my judo sucked bad. One day a friend of mine had a few drinks and started wrestling with me. I was able to throw him all over the place and without hurting him because of the control i had. I realized that people at the judo club KNOW JUDO and what i was trying to do. Normal people dont and cant see you setting them up for a throw. It has always worked like magic against them. My point is that i am not a good judoka and am not athletic enough to ever be a top guy. But i am getting better....slowly. I hope you hang in there brother if that is what you wish. But even if you decide that bjj isnt for you, that is fine. Find a sport that is and keep your head up high. Just remember that EVERYTHING you learn will be hard at first and you are only competing with yourself. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. Best of luck.
Extremely well said my brother!
I was much the same.
You don't usually understand (doesn't start to make sense) what you are doing in Judo until AROUND sankyu-nikkyu.
This just hit me to. Thanks bro.
I'm a judo guy too we had a dude come to the gym and he was struggling cus obviously he was new and everyone in the school was experienced and many people are black belts from Cuba and were in college and in the national team in Cuba. Long story short the guy started with us and like 3 months into the class he was wrestling his buddy home and he did a sasae to the guy and broke his arm and like a month later his gfs dad got drunk and started to pick on him and he put him in a choke... He's been training for a year now and he's a total weapon great and humble guy too but just goes to show that even if you struggling with ppl that know it doesn't mean you don't know, you just don't have the mat time the other ppl have had.
@@United-mf9kr
That's awesome to hear. I totally empathize with this. orangeade guy. I hope he's doing well. And didn't give up.
Hi Ramsey, wonderful video. I'm sure it will be very helpful to many people
It's you! The aikido guy!\(•-•)/
It’s both my favorite UA-camrs in one place! You guys are great!
Martial Arts Journey
Hallo, wie gehts?
Can you speak German martial arts journey?
Like your videos
Your videos are great too. I was inspired by your honesty looking at your own style realistically. Most people would not be able to get past their sunken cost bias like you did. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
I want a video about Ramsey’s origin story, with his childhood being bullied and then starting martial arts
It's basically karate kid but Daniels bald and very religious :-D
Please make a film, Ramsey! Who knows, it might fetch you an award. Your narration skills are pretty much on point.
Top 10 anime character backgrounds
One punch ( Saitima)
@@SomnathRoyGrimfangs I second this, maybe one of those christian film studios or the R.M. guys?
Don't base your self esteem on being "strong" or "good at something" there will almost always be someone better then you at something. Base your self esteem on being the kind of person who faces your inadequacies and puts in the work to improve them. That way no matter what the challenge it just makes you stronger.
Oh man...One of the reasons I love this channel is that you can see that Ramsey is emotionally invested in the advice he gives. He has developed empathy and cares. I really do hope this piece advice you gave the guy paid off.
True, so true! Btw, do you happen to know Sophia Ryakiotaki? She used to hang out to the bar i DJ for hobby in heraklion/crete!
@@lupahole probably a distant cousin or niece, but I don't know her in person, sorry! I might know her parents.
@@zechordlord Hah, thats fine. What are the chances of meeting each other here anyway! (Stelios Daskalakis).
I can really relate to the young man taking bjj, but instead of being to small. I was really over weight at 305lbs and only 5''6'. I have a disease called schizoaffective disorder. Basically having bipolar and schizophrenia together, its rough disease. I knew I was going to progress much slower than everybody else. (Nature of the illness) So I just enjoyed being around everybodys company. Few times I really made friends outside of being in group therapy. So far I have been training for 9 months, lost over 80lbs and hopefully doing my first tournament in 3 or 4 months. Right now I would not focus on how well you are killing people on the mat, but that you are making good relationships.
Very difficult to help I am kick boxing instructor myself and it is rare someone be so sincere you are great to answer the way you did!
6'1" and 90 lbs?!?!? Ramsey, now YOU OWE US A PHOTOGRAPH! That is beyond thin. For reference, one of the skinniest model in the world is Loana Spangenberg. She's 5'6" and weigh 84 lbs. YOU WERE THINNER THAN ONE OF THE SKINNIEST FEMALE MODEL IN THE WORLD!!!
That's why I think it's gotta be bullshit. I am about the same height and thought below 60 Kg I wouldn't be able to even stand. At 40 Kg I think no body can even stay alive for long at that height. He mus have been in hospital dealing with serious disease barely staying alive.
@@firetrucksolitarykiller9969 I think he was exaggerating. I was 68Kg and 186 Cm when I went to army, and I was skinny as hell
I was in somewhat of a similar boat, so I believe him. When I was around 16, I was 5' 11" which is around 181 cm and I only weighed a little over 110 lbs (50 kg). I'm now 6'2" and 160 lbs (72.5kg). Obviously, I could do with some bulking, but I've been in that position where I've looked like a huge stick.
@@firetrucksolitarykiller9969 dude, I was 1,81 meters tall and 47 kg, it's not 40, but it's close, today I am fatter, but still pretty thin I might be 53kg. it's not impossible to live like that, it ain't healthy, but it's livable.
@P C that's my exact situation lol. 5'10" and 139 pounds... I don't eat nearly enough protein.
21:37 this right here was the game changing advice for me in EVERY aspect of my life. Take a deep breath and slow wayyyyyy down.
- instant stamina boost
- instant speed boost
- instant confidence boost
As someone who deals with severe depression and massively low self esteem on a near daily basis, i feel your pain bro. But Ramsey is 100% on point. You just gotta keep grinding on. Take it one day at a time.
Zone of Proximal Development is a real thing. Gotta find where that zone is.
Don't compare yourself to the guy/gal next to you; compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
This. This. This.
But what if you dont see much of a difference anyway?
Such a great video. I struggle with major-depressive disorder and BJJ is such a release for me. Not having role models and real parent figures the instructors were real role models for me in my life.
The hug thing you mentioned is important. My favorite professor at university taught classes in exercise and wellness, exercise physiology, etc and part of his advice to improve your overall health was to give yourself a hug. He said three hugs a day brought you back to baseline, but five was ideal to start to improve your life. A hug didn't necessarily mean a hug either; it was sort of a metaphor for self-care and self-love. So to give yourself a hug meant to take time out just for you and do things like pray, take a walk, meditate for a few minutes, sit and observe silence, and that sort of thing.
Man, Mr. Dewey is such a king. Nothing but respect and encouragement for his students and such a positive role model. Inspiring video. Made me tear up
he is really a great dude.
👀👀.......that was extremely light Ramsey !! You are truly compassionate and spiritually generous person ......💥
9:20 "when you have some skills it's liberating"
Exactly.. I have been training judo and kickboxing for a few year and I still get nervous before practice and even more nervous before matches! Because I still (warranted) don't feel confident in my abilities, but I find comfort in the fact that it will come with time
That's got to be one of the best videos I've ever watched. So humble, honest, and inspiring.
You make the most fulfilling videos in UA-cam for me , man! Thank you very much ! I got real emotional at the end.
Nearly 2m height and 40kg? WHAT? =O Anyways. My gateway martial art was Kyokushinkai karate. Man it was hard for 15 year old to get punched and kicked that hard. First 2-3 belts I was crying after the kumite. Also suffered depression to the point of being suicidal, Since early childhood. I wanted to do marial arts, to be interesting and in controll to grow an identity for my self, because the one I had was: my name = sware word in our familly. Anyways I quit and gone back and quit and gone back again and again. Getting my ass handed to me, but also learning. Long story short: most valuable lession was I got to find out what is real and what is an illusion. I discovered how weak both mentally and physically I was, which to my surprise was a lot less, than I thought. I started recognizing that I can take a hard punch and that I can deliver some pretty hard back. And so my nightmares started turning from me running away from monsters to me turning around and beating the shit out of the monsters. Martial arts destroy illusions. if approached with absolute honesty. If you stop judging your self, your ego stops getting hurt because you will be you, not you trying to be what you think you are. Peace.
Not kidding. Half way through your video, I had put on my running shoes and was off. 2nd half of the video watched, and the sincerity made this one of the finest videos I've seen here on UA-cam to date. Hands down. I don't always like what you say and do otherwise but that's ok. This one is gold 🥇
i was on autoplay, and i didn't expect to cry.
but when you talked about those moments where it gets better,
when you talked about the feeling you get when you pass on your knowledge,
i definitely did.
thanks for the clarity.
Touching and honest response to a hard if question that everyone deals with. Take out the martial arts and it's still a pretty good answer for depression and uncertainty. Love your emotional honesty Ramsey, so much better than anger I often see on UA-cam.
Dewey. Thank you for your compassionate and intelligent words. I was the skeleton man too. After training now a couple years in the dojo I find myself often the person that people look up to. It does get better and it’s wonderful that you shared that with this young man.
"Improvement does not come from rep to rep, but from sleep to sleep." Amazing quote, I will carry that with me in my training day to day.
Thank you for this video.
Fantastic video response to that young man. I could see the emotion in that for you as well. Very well done sir.👍🏻
"I believe in you." That's the most powerful phrase that you can tell anyone. Great speech!
I would say that he is looking forward to success and not finding it. I failed a lot in Jiu-Jitsu because I couldn't' keep up regularly with my classes. But get smashed never bothered me. I knew I was learning, in victory or in defeat. And I do believe that self-esteem is something that cannot be smashed. It can only be reinforced with the truth. The only thing which can destroy self-esteem is ego. The ego of being larger than you are, for self-esteem is all about knowing your limits. I'd personally like to advise him to practice the cultivation of patience as you did convey as well. You might not be where you want to be, but as long as you can keep up, you will get there.
I got scared and shook, thought that YOU were quitting BJJ lol
That was sweet and from the heart brother. God guide you and God bless you
Didn't know I needed to hear parts of this, but jeeze..thank you guy for asking that question and thank you for your answer..
Sir ... probably the greatest gift one human being can grant a depressed person is the gift of presence. And you did that. Magnificently. Good on ya.
I'm an old guy. And I've had to deal with depression and PTSD kinds of stuff throughout my adult life. I've trained in a range of disciplines and styles, and have fallen inactive in recent years. A while back I decided to "get back out and train". Not to win. Not to be better than someone else. But to better than the guy I was yesterday. (Which, given my current condition, is not that hard to accomplish ... :D )
There is no question that training helped me during the years in which my psyche was most screwed up. But it helped most if I focused on "being better than the guy I was yesterday", and trying to be a good peer to my fellow students. And, by doing that, I advanced, gained skills and won sparring matches every now and then. I also learned that there seems to be this big, powerful connection between mind and body. Specifically, if I was in the depths of depression, it was harder to improve even though I maintained discipline and focus during my training. It was as if my mind was creating an artificial plateau I could not surpass. At some point, during one of those plateaus, about a year long, I tried therapy ... and somehow I got past that plateau after a couple of months.
Cognitive therapy was really beneficial to me, but for others chemical therapy (drugs) may also be needed, at least for a time. Thinking processes, exercise, diet ... these can all affect brain chemistry. But sometimes the brain needs some help, at least for a time. Someone in the comments mentioned getting the thyroid checked ... that is a very good idea.
But I personally urge the young man who reached out to you to seek professional help ... and keep on training! There is no shame or disgrace in it. I've known academic geniuses and genuine war heroes who sought and obtained that help. And there is no need to choose between inner personal growth and healing, and martial arts training. In my experience, these are mutually supporting practices. Best of luck, to that young man.
I'm 215 and 5.10, and I feel like I get picked apart easily by the new white belts. I often get discouraged, but one thing I've learned from my discouragement is that it implies that a "good day" means beating someone else up, and a "bad day" means getting beaten up myself. The mindset itself is wrong to have, especially when you're at a smaller gym and you're gonna be sparring with the same experienced pratictioners regularly. A good day at BJJ is one where I'm implementing what I learned during the drill into the roll. Nothing more, nothing less. Try to adopt that attitude, and then you're in control of the good days
This is a very helpful comment. Thank you
Great response. Loved the video. Hope the kid sticks with it and achieves great things.
There's no reason to assume that a person who runs his own mma school and can speak with authority & enthusiasm on a topic can't also suffer from depression. But it's still surprising to hear.
Thanks Dewey, for being so open. It may've been effortless for you but it makes a difference.
This was one f***ing moving monologue, Ramsey. I'm that guy, but 5'4" and about 110 pounds, but I'm 43 y.o.. I use to train judo and I'm researching some jiu-jitsu gym to train with my son, wich is 8 y.o. and very shy, but the atmosphere in the jiu-jitsu gyms in Brazil can be very toxic. I'm looking for a place where train with him and develope his self-esteem, so his not going to experience the problems that I did. I thought judo woould do the trick, but he HATED it, because all he did was falling and being thrown down. I couldn't help him (in fact, I probably made it worse for him) and now he hates judo. I hope jiu-jitsu is going to be a different thing, especially now that I have your advice to keep in mind. Thanks a lot!
Hey Luis. I was wondering if you managed to get your son involved in BJJ, I hope you did find a good school.
Best regards
I now want a montage of you set to spooky scary skeleton...
Skeleton man should be your ring name.
El Skeleto
Or bones
I live in Brazil and needed a american with a angelical voice that teaches martial arts in China to inspire me to practice BJJ
Ramsey .... Great lesson for life, depression is so prevalent these days and I have had my own fair share. You are a good man with real empathy ...
Ramsey I needed to hear so many of these words more than you know. I feel like I'm on the verge of quitting BJJ. Been a white belt for at least 6 months. The anxiety I feel before EVERY class feels crushing, some days more than others, cause I know I'm going to get owned (again). A small, absolute minute part of me is always grateful for going, but for the most part I feel crushed at the realisation and reminder of how vulnerable and useless I am at BJJ. Feeling like I don't want to carry these feelings anymore. That's the game I guess, I will try to keep on trying. Thanks again Ramsey
Man what a story. Both from the viewer and Ramsey. Chills all over the place. Very inspiring and motivating. Thank you very much
very good video coach!!
I relate to this because I was quite weak myself!
I too suffer from mental illness,autism and bipolar to be precise.
when I was a kid (I'm 19 I don't know if you still consider that a kid or not) in elementary school,I moved to Mexico to be raised by my grandma (lots of issues with my parents at that age so they had no choice but to send me with my grandma)....
I was this scrawny,skinny,weak little kid with a heavy american accent.....
due to this I was always bullied,they would threaten me,demand that I do their english homework,and often straight out BEAT ME!!!
I was getting tired of it,and didn't kow how to fight back....
School in Mexico actually praises fighting against bullies instead of punishing it,so,my grandma,getting tired of seeing me with black eyes and bruises,sent me to a karate(shorin ryu and kyokushin) and TKD instructor that she knew and he eventually took me in for free!
but I was the weakest guy in class,just as said in this video,even the smallest girls in class could outfight me.
but over 6 years of training I got to the point where I got good and where I beat the living hell out of my bullies,got a built body,etc.
once I came back to the USA to finish highschool,I started Judo and BJJ,then eventually,muay thai and wrestling aswell,and experienced the same problems again!
EVERYONE could beat me,no matter how small and even big overweight dudes beat me into oblivion!
jiu jitsu ruined my self esteem as well for a while I thought "all these years of training and conditioning for nothing?"
but then I think to myself "wasn't this normal in the first place?"
it took me a long time to score my first submission and even now after a year of getting better I still get beat by stronger dudes,especially those that look like they're on the juice,even on their first day!
I still get depresssed from time to time but I always still motivate myself to train as much as possible!
OSS
Most people over the age of 27 considers someone to still be a kid at 24, the United Nations follows this doctrine. So at 19, you're still a kid, but legally you're an adult.
I chronically struggle with my sleep, and I often have no energy to do what I really want in life. I have low self esteem because of that, feeling hopeless in a seemingly rotting world, and I rot with it.
"Hang in there and the sun is going to come out again my friend"
That message warmed my heart. I needed to hear those words. Thank you.
I dont know how you do it man. I am going through this right now. This video speaks to me.
I feel I am horrible at judo and I want to quit out of frustration from constantly failing.
Well, maybe you are just doing it the wrong way? Im a boxer... I wanted to be like dempsey or tyson... Ive put my whole effort into punching really hard and work on thw inside... My punch is now great and i can handle myself quite good at that... But i just cant really do it... Its too hard to do that... But if instead i go on the outside, float like a butterfly... Play my footwork, etc... Im untouchable... I wasted my time trying to work on the inside... And turns out i should have worked the outside from the begining... Maybe you need to learn more strategies and see what works for you?
@@gingercore69 yes maybe that is one of my issues. I just dont know how to apply that to judo.
@@blindassassin8553 well, i never tried it... But usually, most combat sports have a few different strategies... Defensive/ofensive... Outside fighter vs inside fighter. Etc... Just try to see whatbfits with you the most ñ_ñ
On your BJJ journey, dont compare yourself to other students. This guy says he is humble with no ego yet it is ego that complains he cant beat anybody there! I personally am not in BJJ to beat my classmates but to beat myself! BJJ made me healthy, with endurance, I feel better about myself, and I am still learning a Martial Art that I can defend myself with. Dont worry about results. Dont worry about belts and stripes. Just show up, train, and stop worrying. Everything will fall into place in time. Defeat the self first. We are all on different paths, not all of us are blessed with great genetics and geniuses on top of it. Most of us really have to work hard at anything, whether we are painting a house or fixing a car it takes patience.
Hey Ramsey, thanks for the video, seriously. I'm new to bjj and I'm in a situation very similar to this man, I'm also strugling with depression and all that stuff... Your words really helped me. Thanks again!
From what I’ve seen, the ones who struggle the most through out anything like sports, martial arts etc are the ones who become the teachers of the upcoming generations. Those who stuck with it obviously. Now becoming good enough for anything to the point we’re it seems like second nature will always take time. For me baseball was something I had a natural affinity for. I was and still am at home with a glove and a bat. That sacred diamond I know so well is my home away from home. I’ve played everywhere on the field, from a closing pitcher to left bench and batboy. I’ve been the hero of my team and the game ruiner. It not only made me feel great, it also humbled me and got me extremely down at times. I know BJJ and baseball are nowhere near the same thing but it taught me that anyone, no matter what can teach you anything. Even if it’s something you already knew, sometimes you need a reminder and don’t quite know it. Baseball has become apart of my life just like martial arts has become apart of others. I will always be a student of the game in a way. Every time I reached the point where I was emotionally broken and my hobbies where coming into question, I noticed that as I pressed on I was being molded. Like steel. Steel must be heated up to be forged into a weapon and rapidly cooled for strength and durability. If you work at it no matter the material, an edge will form. You will gain the ability to exert your will power and with time just like forging a blade you will become dangerous to your classmates/opponents. The most effective in anything are the ones who have usually developed a strong heart and emotional maturity. Trust me you learn that when life kicks you while your down and seemingly humiliates you. When humility becomes a part of you a strong foundation develops in you mentally and emotionally. It’s not easy when it’s the first thing u develop in anything you are getting into, but my lord sometime later you might find yourself ahead of those other classmates. Everyone starts somewhere in everything and going through the lowest of the lows is something I completely relate to. If anyone reads this at all know that even the longest of tunnels end somewhere. The rockiest of roads eventually become smooth and lead you somewhere. In any hobby, time and perseverance will decide who hones there skills and who does not, and yes that means knowing what it’s like to be/feel like your powerless or undisciplined. Hold your head high and remain humble in anything. Even the most naturally talented learn or go through the lowest of the lows. Please do not give up. Fulfillment comes to a lot of people who had to struggle and train hard seemingly more often then the ones who are naturally gifted. It may be the worst in the beginning, but you will find that light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to be willing to walk there. If it’s something you want to get good at then the effort you put in and the time you spend will eventually yield something. And that something may surprise you and a bunch of others around you. Sorry I put my whole life story in a UA-cam comment.
So this is officialy my favourite video on this platform.
I can really relate to it, and just watching this made me feel so much better about everything
- so, thank you Ramsey!
This video really connected with me. I re-started Jiu-Jitsu only recently after starting, stopping, starting again, and a long break a few years prior. I feel as if I've never developed any real skill at it. I'm trying to go back more consistently now, and I really relate to the guy in this video that Ramsey is addressing, because boy am I ever that guy at where I go. I'm the sweat-mop for the mats, and have barely ever, if ever, submitted anyone, the best I can do being to survive the round. I really appreciate this video and how you responded to it. I've watched this multiple times before going lately, and I'm not too proud to say that it really helps. I won't be giving up anytime soon, and I hope he doesn't either.
Undoubtedly one of your best videos coach 🔥
Thank you thank you so much. You an inspiration. Please do not stop your videos. But a special thanks to this one.
Thank you
I love this video and this channel, thank you Ramsey
your inspiration is incredible TY. Inspiration effects all facets of life
Great real psychology. Thanks for the sharing.
Very inspiring words! I really hope the young man is able to find the good in all the bad that he is over looking. Depression sucks! I could really see the emotion in Mr. Dewey and feel it too. It was very emotional. Having a good support network such as positive friends and family will help if someone is struggling in life.
This is just beautiful. Thanks, Ramsey, for this video!
The way to success consists of failure. I am doing BJJ as well. And I got my ass handed to out to me. But I observed, I watched videos, I built up my strength, I am getting better, I think a lot of my breath. My friend, you have not given up. You are strong. Big biceps win fights but if everything else is even the spirit saves you. Good luck!
Such great advice. We're always struggling against our limitations, and they are very individual. And humbling. Ego will always be there, and I expect that it will be a lifelong struggle for most people. It would be the exceptional person who doesn't.
Thank you for videos like this.
Very good and positive message. Life is a grind indeed but it’s worth it.
That alligator snapping turtle impression cured my depression.
Hey Ramsey,
After our last discussion I watched this video, hoping you would advise the guy to consider professional help to deal with his depression. I'm somewhat disappointed that you didn't, but I am grateful for the empathic speech. I keep hoping that you will eventually also advise people with chronic depression to at least consider going to see a psychiatrist, it might safe their life or its quality.
Get out there and preach ;-)
Very nice, realistic take on life Ramsey. You’re the man!
Not the sort of thing I'd usually dream of posting on the internet but fuck it. You really helped me like twice this month sir, and neither time I clicked your video was I looking for anything other than entertainment. You're such a smart interesting cat Ramsey Dewey. Keep doing that.
Such a great answer, Ramsey!!
You are a good and wise person. Everything you said was right on. I am bipolar and suffer depression on top of the depression from being bipolar, so I know the problems Orangeade and you and others face. I deal with it by; learning what makes me happy and unhappy, behaviour modification, cognitive behavior modification, intermittent fasting and meditation (non religious). I also walk, lift weights, and shadow box. I can't do that much exercise because I had Hepatitis C and was bed ridden for fourteen years. (I was cured three years ago.) But I do what I can, and that is enough. Thank you for being one of the good people. One day I'll think of a question to ask, but mostly others ask you first and I reap the rewards. Also I read the Dempsey book and the new rules of lifting because of you. I enjoy all of your videos. Thanks Rik
*Its good to experience the worst*
because the next day you know that it will always be a better day.
Sounds good, doesn't work
@@bezimiennygrzes5593, its not that it doesn't work. Its true. If you already experienced the worst today then what is there to fear about tomorrow?
@@xyon9090 you are getting broken by every day of your life, you change your mentals ego etc, than coming back to normal takes a lot of work. I have been there, another day wont repair your situation, only act can. Self improvement is the key
@@bezimiennygrzes5593, so you're saying everyday is a bad day? Breaking you everyday? You're living a sad life if that's the case.
@@xyon9090 yea I knew you will catch me on that one, I mean every day till you change something, my life is better now :p no worries
I have a schoolmate, who is 2xOM bronze in judo +100kg ( 1xMM gold etc), he is one year younger than me. Every time, when we meet, we shake our hands and every time we talk about life and martial arts etc. Every time when we shake our hands, I feel his power. And I think, that not my weight, not today, but what if I.... etc. What I mean, there will allways be something, what we will not got. Make peace with death, make peace with life, make peace with yourself. And train, train hard!
Thank you for a touching, heartfelt, courageous and highly inspiring video, Coach Ramsey! It's the best out of a dozen or so of your videos that I've seen since discovering your channel sometime last week. Your video makes me think of two other remarkable people: Josh Waitzkin and Charles Eisenstein. As in your video, Waitzkin's book, The Art of Learning, describes his journey from being a beginner in martial arts to becoming a high level fighter. Much of his learning and improvement had to do with self-respect, perseverance, "investing in loss" (i.e. not having to win) and patience. Patience is a word you used more than once in the video and what I have observed from people who are good at learning is that they have the patience of angels. Here's one of my favorite quotes from the book: “Not only do we have to be good at waiting, we have to love it. Because waiting is not waiting, it is life.”
Charles Eisenstein was not only the slowest and weakest runner on our junior high track team, he was mercilessly bullied by the big guys in school. He kept plodding along, however, and by his senior year he was a member of the State Championship 4x800 relay team. He later ran varsity on Yale's cross country team, became a Chinese translator, yoga teacher, and renowned radical economist, philosopher and author. Like you, Charles never lost his vulnerability, humility, child-like curiosity or patience. (Unlike you, he stayed thin as a rail--more useful to a long distance runner or yoga teacher than to a fighter!) I believe it's precisely these attributes that have propelled him in unexpected directions, kept him afloat during times of great difficulty, and led him to make important discoveries.
A final thought (unrelated to Waitzkin and Eisenstein) directed to the man who bravely sent in this important question: I wonder if you would consider pursuing a different martial art, or even a different discipline altogether. I wonder if, in other words, you might more readily discover joy in something else outside of jujitsu. This is not to say that you couldn't find it in jujitsu, but that there is a big world out there and you often don't know until you try something. Maybe, for example, you would prefer boxing or basketball or tango or ballet or chess or sewing or Greek mythology. We must be thankful for people like Coach Ramsey, not necessarily for choosing martial arts, but for choosing what he loves (and perhaps for learning to love what he initially might not have loved). Likewise, we can thank Aretha Franklin for choosing music, Muhammad Ali for boxing, James Baldwin for literature, etc. At the same time, I think it's important to be wary of pushing ourselves unnecessarily through a particular ordeal. Braving an ordeal can indeed make you stronger, yet, it can in some cases make you neurotic. Andre Agassi's ghost-written autobiography makes the latter point quite eloquently. Some of the Soviet soldiers who made it through siege of Stalingrad and some of the Americans who survived the Battle of the Bulge were heroes and came back mentally stronger. Others suffered mental breakdowns. Given this dichotomy, I believe that even though it's often better to persevere and keep at it, sometimes we're better off quitting. Only you will know for sure. Trust yourself.
Beautiful. Thank you Ramsey x
Regarding BJJ and getting beat up. It took me 1.5 years if not more to even have a chance against some of my training colleagues. I was among the first to start training BJJ in that gym, yet new people showed up, some of which outpaced me quite fast. But again, do not give up, as those "AHA!" moments will change your life. Defeating in BJJ someone who has your number is one of the best feelings in the world. As for people in general? You can be as weak as they come, if you train regularly, and you try new stuff, you will get better. It takes time but it can be done. If everything else fails, try rolling while high, that's a game changer. You have a lot of fun doing it, and you also work out.
You are a true rare gem. Much respect brother 🙏❤
I'm really glad I found your channel the other day, every advice you give is relatable in some way or another, and even if it isn't, I'm sure its something I'll have to confront down the line (now that I decided to go back to BJJ)
What I heard: Let your opponent expend their energy and remember the heat of the sun to fill in your fears. Glorious. I’m certainSun Tzu would be impressed!
Also you can do exercises to build your ‘reservoir of power’ with non-combat training such as breath work, Olympic lifting and plyometrics. Wim Hoff, Pyrros Dimas, Idu Portal and of course Ramsey Dewey are great resources for that! Looking forward to hearing more and never give up!
Less thinking more training. Remember the techniques with your blood, body and bones. Don`t think, just train. Never stop. In a point of time, you will find out that life has no meaning. Except what you put in it. :)
I'm not a Doctor but i would still advise this commenter to get some blood work done . The body can often lead the mind , and vice versa. Your testosterone may be super low , or you may have some other condition to address that manifests as something mental when it's actually physical.Clinical Depression is no joke at all, as Mr. Dewey stated. It kills people. It's a Medical condition , not just a case of the blues that you can suck it up and get out of. Make sure your body is working right, then get back into training
Low testosterone is one of the most undiagnosed illnesses
Considering he's in college he's probably on one of these psychiatric drugs they hand out like candy over there.
Antidepressants, antipsychotics, stimulants for ADHD. All kinds of drugs that ruin your life and make you a braindead zombie while claiming to help you. Psychiatry is a pseudo science.
A chemical imbalance can do weird stuff it can even mimic Alzheimer's.
I had an emotional breakdown and mild depression as an adult. I woke up crying and I had to literally hit myself to get a bit of anger that makes the emotional pain stop for a while. Other than the sense of duty for my son, only kyokushin training helped, but I also thought out help. I don't know about Jitsu, but in my dojo our Shihan made me hit the bag and get into total physical exhaustion. I know he sensed the darkness in me and wanted to help. If your Jitsu gym has the martial qualities too, they will help in their own way man. Don't be afraid to talk. Respect to you for being able to talk about your situation with honesty. Best of luck!
You have a very sincere nature man I really enjoy listening to you. I was considering quitting due to injury but watching your video, you reminded me of that feeling of some bad experiences in high school which I still find myself running over my mind 20 years later.
I never want that feeling again so if I bang up my body I can deal with that but if I am humiliated again I can't think about that for another 20 years so fuck it I will keep learning BJJ
Just a correction, alligator snapping turtles, according to wikipedia, live around 80 to 120 years, but it's believed they can live for up to 200 years... I'm sorry if it seems like I'm acting like a condescending asshole, but it's really not what I want to do, just a little piece of interesting info. Anyway, thank you, Ramsey Dewey, even if I'm not in that guy's situation, it's easy to relate to his case, and your words do help. Guy that asked the question, I hope you manage to grow stronger and more confident. Cheers.
Excellent advice and content there Ramsey. I remembered one of my "Aha" moments hearing about your advice of playing the waiting game instead of going into panic mode. I was playing a game of face slapping with a friend in his backyard. It helps me to train my movements, positioning but my guard was constantly being taken down and being slapped. Then... I had a flashback of my instructor advising us all about the importance of being relaxed. I had held my guard so strongly that my arms were not in a position to move quickly to counter the attack. I relaxed my guards and waited for his attack on my guard. When he had hit my guard downwards, his guard was also open and my arm was able to move in a circular fashion to slap him before he could launch his strike. I remembered the look on his face "where did that arm come from?". Until that point in time, I had no idea about the qualities of being relaxed.
Thanks for that Coach
im a short man 5.3 feet and really light weight 58 kgs
i feel like i am strong for my size but i still struggle in BJJ
even though i go slow i keep on going,
sometimes i feel lack of motivation but i still keep going
im almost a blue belt
but i train more in no gi
‘cause my focus is more on self defense
sometimes i feel bad and depressed after being crushed in bjj, specially against people who started after me…but if i dont’t train i feel worse.. so i keep on going.
maybe someday ill beat my internal enemies
and your channel has being helping me a lot.
I also been there. I didn't believe when people told me it's going to be better and guess what ,it becomes better.
Ramsey, truly fantastic video! Some really perfectly placed words here for the guy who emailed in. I saw you getting a little emotional, I'm guessing this was at a point where you could really feel yourself "giving", maybe even a feeling of god talking through you, IDK but Splendid stuff all the same!! I get a lot out of your videos man! The only one I've seen that I disagree on is the "vegetarian argument" and the logic you present about "you're always killing something" which is undeniabley true but I think you have some more layers of the onion to peel back there, its not quite that simple. Great stuff Ramsey!!! Now get out there and train!!!
The honesty is amazing
awesome vid man!! It has great depth to it at the end! Much more than fighting.
Ramsey, you are a great person and I hope you are blessed in this world as I am sure you will be in the next. Loving your neighbors and especially the ones who are in the enemy category has always been my greatest challenge and it still is to this very moment. That said, although I fall short in every spiritual endeavor I strive to overcome, the gap I invariably leave is happily and without debt being incurred , spanned by our glorious Savior! That is my sunny day when I really need it and brother it rains a lot in this big cesspool within which we currently reside. I would love to hear the about the struggle of a return missionary not speaking to others about the plan of salvation. It mist be especially challenging for you in one the largest areas in the world that has been devoid of the potential path to salvation that I assume you believe to possess?!?! That in itself could drive one to depression! Clearly, you have the ethics and provide an excellent example for others. In any event, keep up with the CTR ‘ing and thank you for trying to help our little brother struggling with mental/ physical shortcomings! Hopefully we can pray him past the adversary he cannot see but is the only one capable of pushing him into hopelessness. I hope he reads this missive and knows how many of us love him, care that he is here, and proud of him for not quitting! God Bless you brother! I was a casual fan but now I am awarding you my official black belt in humanity. I bow to you sir!
I’ve been there too. And I can tell you some day in the future you’ll be able to look at a new problem and say, “I’ve been through worse. I’ve worked with less.” Good luck and stay frosty.
Becoming balanced enough to pay it forward 🙂 Thank you for the lesson, Sen'Sei
Cool video! Very inspirational.
Ramsey, love your videos, keep up the great work! Thanks in large parts to your videos, I started taking jiu jitsu again, after having tried it on and off again before
Mr. OranJade,
Mr. Ramsey has some really good advice
I share a lot of what you have been through.
Please keep going and go slow. Your breakthrough could be just right at the corner.
Practice one or two moves constantly and consistently. Don't worry about all the submissions and fancy stuff. Work on what your weakest points first and keep working at it. You will pull through one day. Seek help with a professional for your mental health. Usually colleges and universities have counselors to help with depression...
I have been where you have and at my age, still struggles.
(Went back to BJJ at age 50 and got my butt whooped by 15 yo ladies)...
Your sincerety and honesty is to be applauded. Your sunshine is coming.
☮️
Is some gyms that only want money but others are really and truly care about you, if I didn't step on an amazing gym I would have never been able to carry on in life, because every time that I wanted to give up, I'll have the coach coming over and explaining what were my mistakes and how I should approach them, those where one of the best moments of my life.
Here are some ideas....
1. Try a different school,gym, or dojo
2. Quit temporarily
3. Try doing less in life in general
4. Spend time with friends
5. Read Robert E. Howard books (Conan,Solomon Kane, etc)
( 19:50 ) Nice! Ha! Worth the wait! 😝 Also great advice as always!
Well that was partly addressing my question from before! You should talk more about your family
Great video coach.
Oh the Blue Belt Blues... keep on pushing my man.
Man....That was beautiful.
Great video Ramsey. I fought against depression for a while, I got through it by forcing myself to fight and train every.single.day. Granted, most of those days I didn't feel like training, but at the end I did it and felt better. Consistency and resilience helped a lot. I'll leave you with a quote from a weapon master we study in our HEMA class.
"(...) but it is necessary that he seek daily to play with diverse players, and being able to do so, he must always practice with those who know more than he, because the player with such practiced wits will become most perfect in this virtue." - Ridolfo Capoferro.
Thanks a lot for this video. 😁
Thanks Ramsey. 👍🏼
So I have said it before and I will say it again. BJJ, and martial arts as a whole, can have positive mental health benefits. However, I have never seen any indications to suggest it is any more than any other social, skill-based physical activity.
If you wouldn't expect joining an intramural soccer league to resolve your particular psychological or emotional issues, BJJ, karate, or any other martial art/combat sport probably won't either.