Single and Childless Not By Choice: Things NOT to say TO Childless people
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2023
- Don't do it. Don't say these things. They are intrusive, disrespectful, possibly sexist, and hurtful.
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This video is for informational and educational purposes only. This video is not therapy nor a substitute for therapy. This video is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified medical or mental health health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical and mental health advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or seen on this video.
Hi! Great channel! Once I suggested to my sister: "let your toddler son play with the earth, you and me were playing like that when we were children". And she replied: "don't educate me how to raise my child, you educate when you have yours!"... I'm on distance with her and her children since then, of course. Btw, I'm a school teacher for 21 years.
wow. That sounds hurtful and harsh. I'm sorry you and her are at a distance and I can understand why that didn't feel good to you. I would've felt same way if I was a teacher. Thanks for stopping by the channel.
Everything you said is so true! I wish the people who tell me those things would look up and find this video, but I assume that sadly most of us who see this video are childless ourselves and just looking for a little comfort.
I wish they would see it too. :). It is odd how some people just don't think sometimes. Thanks for stopping by the channel.
True, it's like the plethora of self-help books 📚 that the people who really need to read - never pick them up to read ... 😂
yes. like having to crush the medicine into the pudding for people to hear it. @@ShellyBomb
I met a guy who said that he didn’t think you could fully develop as a person if you never have children. Then he wondered why I didn’t want to go on a date with him. Hello
lol. Smooth.... that ain't sexy bro. Thanks for stopping by the channel.
Years ago, I was working in a medical office and one of the patients who was the same age as me were chatting while she was waiting to go in for her appointment. We were talking about stress because she had a severe headache and I commiserated with feeling a little burned out as I had a lot going on at the time. She turned to me and said something to the effect of, "Well, what could YOU possibly be stressed about? You don't have any kids!" Granted, she had several of varying ages, but I had to convince myself it was a bad idea to jump the desk and throttle her. Same job, another person came in, a guy who I knew from school and hadn't seen in years. He asked me if I was married or had kids, and when I said I was engaged at the time but kids no, he said, "Well, what are you waiting for?" I was thinking like, "Whoa! Really? Not only am I unmarried and childless, but I'm old too in my 30s?!" I'm laughing about it in a way now, more so out of the absurdity that someone actually said that.
Other than questions, a whole list could also be made for things people say or assumptions made. For example, that "a person doesn't know what love is until they have a child." Someone actually said that to me once and I never forgot it. I know it's not true, of course. Yes, it's true that I won't have the same experience, though I could have pointed out to her that many people who have children often have them for less than stellar reasons and/or have very poor parenting skills. I know that sounds harsh, though it is very true.
It is jarring what people feel they can say around the kids and even the marriage topics. When people say those things to me I'm kinda hurt but maybe even more so stunned. Yes, so many assumptions. Free time, no stress, lots of money, as if there still isn't a lot of other parts of life. Thanks for stopping by the channel.
When I was married, and, later divorced people would ask intrusive things like "Why didn't you have children?" - or - "Don't you like children?".
FYI: I always wanted children ... ❤️🩹
I'm amazed at the ease people ask that question too as there are so many difficult reasons why the answer is no. I think a lot of people just assume if you want them you have them.
My favorite is when people find out I'm divorced, they're always like, "good thing you didn't have kids." Yes, right. Exactly. Too bad that's the whole reason I ended up divorced in the first place, spent years in and out of the psych ward, and literally wasted the last 11 years of my life (27-38) just trying to survive. So yes, very excellent that my marriage did not produce children. Thanks. 🤬
I'm sorry you've been going through such a hard time. I hope things are a bit better. Yes, that is such a hurtful comment. I sometimes hear that as well.
I’m currently childless by choice. I’m not single but I’ve been on birth control for 16 years. For that long, I didn’t want children because I was afraid to, of SOOOO MANY things. Things like not living with my bf (because I lived with family), not being married, afraid of raising them on my own, etc. But now that I’m living with my in-laws, I get #1 and #2 most often. (My paternal grandma tells me #2 most and my in-law #1) Though now, I want them but can’t, because my bf’s currently saving up money to buy a house, so I feel like it would be inconvenient to have one at my in-laws house. Too, I didn’t want them also because I feared so much but after watching another UA-camr that’s an OB/GYN, it’s helped me out so much. But, I do know it’ll be worth it.
Yes, I think these things are said to women w/o kids generally no matter the reason. I hope things work out for you. Thanks for stopping by. :)
@@sondersisterhood not a problem! 🙂☺️ your video was on my recommended and the title was VERY alluring! 😅 too, I wanted to watch it and ngl, I actually feel for the things you’ve said in your video. 🙂
I will admit, I had to babysit for my younger cousins, mostly because 1) my family said it would be “good practice” and 2) because I currently don’t work and I needed something to occupy myself with. 😅 at least I got paid for it. 😅😂
@@JackOfAllTradesButMasterOfNone yea they are things that are said that seem to be consistent no matter the person. I'm still trying to figure out the thumbnail stuff so thanks for the info on what caught your eye. :)
Why don’t you just mind your own business instead of telling other people what they can say?