When Everything is Dependent on People's Approval |

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  • Опубліковано 11 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 39

  • @sarahjmount9221
    @sarahjmount9221 20 днів тому +40

    As you heal this gets better and you don’t need other’s approval to accept yourself anymore. I know firsthand. That was such a sucky way to live. Thank you, Tim, for spreading awareness about this issue. You’re the best!

    • @nickandrews2255
      @nickandrews2255 19 днів тому +5

      Facts

    • @nickandrews2255
      @nickandrews2255 19 днів тому +5

      Not our fault though

    • @sarahjmount9221
      @sarahjmount9221 19 днів тому +4

      @ No, NOT our fault, Nick. You’re exactly right. Merry Christmas!

    • @jacksonvance-op2pd
      @jacksonvance-op2pd 18 днів тому +6

      I didn't know that, till I learned. My family has been sick for generations ,l was blessed to learn at a young age. It's been a long journey for me and not an easy one. We all have to start some where, be good to yourself and hang in there.

    • @sarahjmount9221
      @sarahjmount9221 17 днів тому +1

      @@jacksonvance-op2pd Thank you for the support and advice. I’ll take it. Merry Christmas. Good luck as you continue on your road to recovery, as well.

  • @clairecarlia-jones5979
    @clairecarlia-jones5979 20 днів тому +17

    I didn't realise until recently just how much I care about others opinions of me. Neither of my parents approved of me. Quite the opposite. All I wanted was for them to genuinely know me and love me 😢

  • @your-name-here.
    @your-name-here. 19 днів тому +15

    Merry Christmas everyone

    • @kshaw9179
      @kshaw9179 19 днів тому +2

      Merry Christmas! God bless!

  • @cacatr4495
    @cacatr4495 18 днів тому +8

    "Co-dependents" look to others for direction and approval, for guidance. They wonder what they should do, where they should go to school, what they should say, preferring to receive direction about most everything, because they are not sure/not confident in their own choices and thoughts. As a result, they seek direction from others, and powerful personalities will gladly speak up. These are two different temperaments, not necessarily Narcissists that speak up. There are many powerful temperaments/personalities that are *not narcissists that provide input. It's important for a dependent person to realize that they *are dependent in personality, and to exercise a greater role in their own destiny if that's what they want. Gaps in this life will be filled, so if you don't want people speaking into those gaps, you can step into those gaps yourself. It's taking charge of your own life, taking responsibility for it. It can be easier to let others guide you, though, so be aware of when and why you're letting external forces direct you. If you don't like that, then be self-directed, take the responsibility.

    • @kaystephens2672
      @kaystephens2672 16 днів тому

      Excellent info into a mother who let others control her and her children's lives and led it almost off a cliff. The Family's approval which was running our show of our lives. It's all about to controlling the hidden assets. Very sneaky though. You gotta wise up one day you just wake up to these self entitled sneaks.

  • @keariewashburn4680
    @keariewashburn4680 17 днів тому +4

    Spot on Tim Fletcher Thank you 😊 ❤

  • @positivevibe7684
    @positivevibe7684 16 днів тому

    Many thanks, Tim
    I was guilty of this for years. Once I begin to work on my inner self, becoming and embracing who I am is when things change. I ended up writing a book on self-awareness. It's a guide to inspire greater self-awareness. The book contains thought-provoking questions.❤❤

  • @WathutoMmaMasediNtswe
    @WathutoMmaMasediNtswe 20 днів тому +5

    Thanks Tim💙

  • @gember1382
    @gember1382 20 днів тому +6

    Yes. Feeling this right in this moment. And also...when is approval enough? It's never enough, because I feel I'm not enough. So even if they did approve (but maybe didn't tell me specifically), I question if it/I was enough.And then I need more approval to feel safe. So it's a loop.

    • @hope6010
      @hope6010 16 днів тому

      God's approval is ALWAYS ENOUGH, though! I'm finding this out for myself . What God says about ypu in the bible , goes deep into your spirit, and as He is your creator who made you and loves you, what He says is the Truth beciase God is Truth, whereas other people have opinions about you, but if they don't line up with what God says about ypu, then it's NOT the truth of who you are
      If you aren't a Christian and haven't found God and Christ yet, then I encourage you to seek for him because he is real. If you seek for him with ALL.ypur heart, you WILL find HIM, i promise you.
      When I did, I found him..and he is the best in my life.. I've only shared a minute amount of what ive come to know of him. He's not hiding from you, there's just a lot of distractions that get in the way, but when you really search for him, you will find him.
      HE gives you EVERYTHING you NEED as HE is LOVE and loves you VERY MUCH !
      I'm praying for you 😊❤

  • @Obviiuschild
    @Obviiuschild 19 днів тому +4

    Thank you so much Tim ❤

  • @christinav3383
    @christinav3383 15 днів тому

    I’m an empath and That was me all my life until five years ago when I went no contact with the entire narcissistic family pack. My mother was a strict narcissist she gave approval before a could do anything! When I met my future husband she made me marry him. So in life I couldn’t make any decisions without approval. U til five years ago after a lifetime of narcissistic abuse I went no contact on the entire family pack of narcissists and moved home. Now I love and nurture me and my loved ones being my kids and grand kids.

  • @mroswald9343
    @mroswald9343 20 днів тому +2

    How to be, who we really are.

  • @terryfelkins912
    @terryfelkins912 15 днів тому

    My mother is like that. Not me I don’t care! As long as I approve it’s all good

  • @430Paul
    @430Paul 20 днів тому +1

    So familiar. Aslong as I was invited in the safety providing circle, people could do with me what they wanted.

  • @Steve-s4z
    @Steve-s4z 19 днів тому +3

    Ok..go deeper..whats the reason for the need for the approval.

    • @hspinnovators5516
      @hspinnovators5516 19 днів тому +4

      Childhood control by NPD parents

    • @cacatr4495
      @cacatr4495 18 днів тому +1

      @@hspinnovators5516
      That's a big contributor, but the internal root is dependency, a dependent personality. There are leaders who are extroverted personalities, strong personalities (not necessarily narcissists at all), and there are followers who look to external forces for personal direction, who feel uncomfortable and not confident about directing the details of their life. These are two very different, opposite, types of people.

    • @Steve-s4z
      @Steve-s4z 18 днів тому +1

      @hspinnovators5516 been trying to wrap my head around that for awhile now just havent been able to fully admit it to myself worrying ill disrespect my late parents...

    • @hspinnovators5516
      @hspinnovators5516 18 днів тому +3

      @@Steve-s4z when you see the true self you will see they disrespected you most likely

    • @jacksonvance-op2pd
      @jacksonvance-op2pd 18 днів тому +1

      I had to admit it is a family thing.

  • @hspinnovators5516
    @hspinnovators5516 19 днів тому +2

    What if we're disabled and can't leave?

  • @koolbeans8292
    @koolbeans8292 16 днів тому

    The words, "what are people going to think of you?" Coming from my mother's mouth as a youngster are still there..
    Oh, and I was also referred to as , "that kid"
    My three other brother sisters had names .
    I am a twin of a third, unwanted pregnancy. 3 1/2 hours between us, me being last.
    Abandonment issues? I'd say..

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 19 днів тому +2

    That’s narcissism in a nutshell

    • @cacatr4495
      @cacatr4495 18 днів тому +7

      No, what was described in this video is dependency on the opinions of others, aka co-dependency, seeking approval of others. Garden-variety narcissism is seeking approval and attention of others, but does so via manipulations, unethical maneuvers and dishonesty, rather than being honest about it.

    • @louisecampbell2628
      @louisecampbell2628 16 днів тому

      Correct!!​@@cacatr4495

  • @millennialgeisha2192
    @millennialgeisha2192 14 днів тому

    Caging us almost