This is why I’m a firm believer in helping yourself heal first before trying to date. It’s not easy but it saves people a lot of heartache and time wasted. The selfishness in people these days is unbelievable
Preach!!! I am a guy who is struggling with mental health and finding himself, and emotionally unavailable outside our workplace. Even though I have feelings for her, I know I would just be very inconsistent and in the end we would end up breaking up anyway. To save us both the heartache, I chose to friendzone her and keep my distance.
Exactly. Leaving people hanging in uncertainty, little communication and then guilt trip the other person for feeling hurt or disrespected. Very confusing bc I also selfreflect if it's my own issue but many times things turn into chaos bc someone can't treat others with basic, simple respect. When I need space I will tell a man, not ignore him.
@@Jackson-tx5ucThat's exactly what a man told me after 4 months of dating. He said it's not sustainable due to his demanding job and can't meet my needs.i feel so sad bc it felt pure and different. He said he would feel sad to never see or talk to me again but this is best way to go, to end the romantic connection. I cared about him and I tell myself he is not indifferent to me but it still feels like it. He wrote " we will talk more tomorrow" but I haven't heard of him. That was 6 days ago I'm still hoping to hear from him but I assume not.
If he's unavailable at all, he should stay away from women. No talking, texting, fun or hooking up. He cant get someones availability if he is unavailable. He is working on friends with benefits, only when she wants clarity he runs. Lol, stay home and jerk. Dont involve a woman in your problems.
I worry for this younger this upcoming generation. I am SO thankful I am married. When I was dating either you liked someone enough to lock it down or not.
@@catherineabbey1466 yeah and women today just use social media to talk to 6 guys at once playing them while trying to pick the potential winner. super sad.
@@catherineabbey1466 I feel as though I'm one of those emotionally unavailable men. But I'm not looking to spin plates. I'm still fairly young and I just wanna hookup, have ONS and FWBs with lots of girls. Basically I wanna be a man 304. But it's super difficult to get that as an average guy. So, dating a girl without having any clear indication of what that relationship is actually helps me. I know it's a very selfish worldview. But seriously I ain't got a choice. It's either my mental peace by hooking up with lots of girls or her mental peace by committing to her and losing all of my chances to f**k as many girls as possible.
What i would do with an emotionally unavailable men if I knew it was because of their fear or them being avoidant attachment from their childhood experience.. is that I would try to be in my secure vibration and be an angel to them, nice.. sweet.. fun.. caring.. make them feel safe around me, no pushing no demanding.. but being clear with my boundaries, be on my best behavior with them and give it a time. i don't think 3-6 months is a time waste to give someone a try in dating/relationship. After that if it is still not being reciprocated or no progress whatsoever.. then leave with no regrets.
Sounds like you are considerate and committed while being tough, wise, and mature. Your value is vibrant and bright, please do not devalue it. I wish I could meet a girl like that sometime in my life, even if it was just in the last year of my own life.
So what is a girl supposed to do ? I hate wasting my time with non committal men. I also would never want to force a relationship with anyone. I usually just walk away and get sick of waiting around.
You just reminded me on how I am wasting my time by being hopeful and almost feel like I am forcing a relationship/begging for love.. thank you!! I needed this sign tbh 🎉❤
3 months of waiting and him saying "let's see where it goes, I'm open to a relationship , focusing on my career ,etc" I'm convinced when a man knows ,it's well known. After I seen he still had his dating app after I already questioned him I left ✌🏾
When this happens. Time is wasted when love and fun can be happening. Let your fears and insecurities go so that y'all can enjoy your life. Let your guard down 👇 God wants people to live life more abundantly.
Lol a woman here, your description made me realize i'm emotionally unavailable. Also fear of having found the one is actually pretty stressful too. Cause it feels like you are kinda trapped even though society tells ppl you should be happy to settle down
Omg. Going through this right now😢 I always thought there was something between us, we definitely flirted and there were long lingering looks, but now, he pulls away...and he says there’s someone else he cares about? So now I'm walking away.
Yes, I went through it twice with him. I should have been done, I was and I am. I wanted to see what he would though. It sucks. It happened again of course, I see he didn't care about me. I think he is still trying with me. So annoying. I am done and want to be done with him.
Omg that's exactly what happened 😱 He kept me as a "fwb" for 6 months but never met up with me again after the first 2. Only texted or sexted every other day or so. For 4 MORE months after any benefits actually happened. After I brought up something that bothered me he left suddenly. Been a week since I've heard from him.
I like plain talk. I TELL him that he's got 3 months to get with it. That's waaaaaaay time enough for him to know where he is where we're concerned. AND a man will waste your time for ss long as you let him.
My husband is like this.. He said he loved me and we got married... 3 months into the marriage he says his love can't b deep it can simply b surface level and fun.. It's been 6yrs a we have a kid.. he just wants me to do wifely duties and sex.. emotionally unavailable I feel all alone. I blame me for being in this shit pit, i put myself in..
Im sorry you’re hurting, but 6 years is not too long. I work in elderly care and I know 80+ year olds who lived like that all their lives. Also I’ve heard that the statistics show men leave their wives when they get sick and remarry after they die, while women care for their sick husbands and mourn them. I think how we love others is a reflection of your worth. You gave all for love so you haven’t done anything wrong. Maybe you are attracted to the wrong kind of guy? They are taught many toxic things online
I was in the same position... do yourself a favor and get out now. It will be hard but you get one life and deserve to live a life that is happy and fulfilled.
Please, for the love of yourself and your child, leave that marriage before it damages you! It’s not uncommon for people to think they’ll be able to tolerate the pain for the sake of their children but then, once their guard is eventually down, they’ll rot and turn bitter and resentful. It’s just human nature, so it would be wise to leave a relationship like that!!!
Imagine that I'm almost 30 years old and didn't know that this was a thing until recently. Probably explains why I have never been in a relationship because this description sounds very familiar. I always wanted a gf but the few times when someone actually showed interest in me, I always started to feel like I was suffocating. Like I was on my way to some prison. And for me it is so severe that I cannot even do hook ups or friends with benefits. Then when I have gone to some nightclubs, I have gone with the mindset of meetings someone. But when someone actually have showed interest in me, I have pulled away or not done any moves. And I haven't even tried internet dating, just the thought of me going on a tider date with someone makes me exhausted
He told me he is emotionally unavailable after I expressed my confusion bc he didn't text me for 4 days after our date and he held my hand and we had only good times in person! He said it made him anxious that he felt he made me unhappy. I was not unhappy, I only needed time to understand his texting rythm. He did communicate in between dates but I felt some kind of distance and it made me feel he didn't miss me. Maybe it's partially also me being anxious but I never pushed or texted him daily. He explained his demanding travel job and during those trips he would not text me. Also he replied 1 or 2 days later. I felt disrespected and I telk myself I did the right thing by expressing my feeling. He said I could always express my thoughts and I was surprised to notice he was empathetic but unfortunately that changed soon. I asked him "so you don't have romantic feelings for me?" He said "why do you think I don't have romantic feelings?". He also said he didn't want to end it as this stage bc he really liked me but he thinks irs better for me and him die to different expectations and bad timing.
The first time we had a misunderstanding, he refused to speak to me for a whole week. I thought it might be our age difference of 29 years, but no. Cut to 4 years together, he simply never texts me anything. I get one word answers. I get told to go hang out with my friends. He says I can simply come over if I want to... He doesn't ever get ahold of me to hang out or even talk anymore. He thinks we are just going to have a disagreement. Then he can quit responding to me all over again.
Was it always one word? Just how some people are. I can't make a big long thing out of nothing. Something that only needs 1 word. I'm simple and to the point. No extras. The other stuff though, he doesn't want to hang out, doesn't try. He's not interested or he's "feminine" and expects you. You said he said you can over if you want.
Thanks for sharing that info to the women who need it. But ladies stay celibate and wait for your man of God and you won't have to worry about the childish games 😉😃
So basically emotionally unavailable just means he's not ready to commit to a relationship with you. He can be very attracted to you, like you or even feel like he is in love with you but fears commitment. He has feelings but COMMITMENT & VULNERABILITY is what he's trying to avoid which is why he draws back forth between hot & cold with you which causes emotionally unavailability.
Please leave before you get emotionally attached or fall in love. Hell completely destroy you and walk away. Leave before you’re too deep in, you can’t help him or “heal” him. He has to do it himself.
It’s very true for me in way because after coming out of 4year relationship am just not in anyway shape or form think of getting serious with someone and it’s mostly because my mind doesn’t want to go there for know.
So how is a Man suppose to become emotionally available? Cause if you date a woman, its precisely because you want to figure this out, you want to find someone who will awaken you availability, and if the woman youre dating does not match what youre looking for and you realize this, then you suddenly become the asshole for not staying with that girl that didnt fit what youre looking for... women do this to men. When they realize theyre not happy, they break up but we dont say theyre emotionally unavailable.... sometimes if it doesnt work then it doesnt
That's different than emotional unavailability. Someone realizing you are not incompatible and deciding to pursue their happiness because they are an independent individual is different than dating someone to fix you. You should date people when you get your shit figured out. Your partner is your partner, not your emotional therapist who gets nothing in return.
I think that your interpretation of what emotionally unavailable Men actually really means is not the correct interpretation. Emotionally unavailable men are men who don't actually care about the woman's emotions especially when she tries to communicate to him how she feels about certain things like how he treats her or starts acting cold and aloof towards her, and so he shows little to no regards at all about how it makes her feel when he behaves a certain way towards her. So he will immediately start to interrupt her before she can even finish her sentences communicating her feelings, so that he doesn't have to hear it, because it could possibly be the truth and emotionally unavailable men don't like to be confronted with the truth so they will do their best to not allow the woman to finish communicating how she feels and that she is hurt, confused, or sensing that something is off. So he will flip the coin on her and start calling her overly emotional, or that she is crazy and that this is crazy talk, and that her feelings are over emotionally over the top, and tell her that he can't stand to hear all of this highly emotional crazy talk, etc. and even if she begs him to allow her to finish communicating her emotions and feelings he still will stubbornly not let her speak and talk over her and tell her that she needs to stop because she's acting crazy and overly emotional, and if she continues this type of behavior, it will push him away from her overtime. So the man that is emotionally unavailable, will never admit that she is right about how her intuition is alerting her about red flags in the man, and he fears that buy her getting a chance to fully Express herself from the beginning to the end, that he will be confronted with the uncomfortable truth of the fact that he is emotionally unavailable gaslighter. They don't like to ever admit that those characteristic traits are true about them, because the truth is uncomfortable to them and they are never wrong it is always the woman who is being victimized that gets the blame for "sounding crazy/too over the top emotionally. And he'll also say things like you have to stop doing this you can't keep doing this, this is a bad behavior, etc! Emotionally available but he's also emotionally abusive or manipulative gaslighting her to make her seem like she is the crazy one and just overreacting, trying to start an argument. That's what the REAL meaning of emotionally unavailable men is.
lol weird. from my experience as a guy being „too available“ too early is turning women off. at least the pretty ones. i feel like i am perceived as „ boring“ for being „too easy“ and not mysterious. Yet here i foudn myself in a bubble of bitter women complaining about men being emotionally unavialable. I wonder if yall are 30-40s single. In that case yall probably deserve it, cause you had plenty of emotionally ready guys that you deemed „boring nice guys“ and once they get angry you call them toxic. Also i tend to believe most girls who go for „emotionally unavailable men“ are pretty girls (who are spoiled with attention for them to think emotional availabilty is a factor that makes men „boring“)
@@pizzelle2 Now I'm feeling better than ever. 😁 I'm glad I broke up. Since I broke up, I've generally stayed completely away from men since 10 months ago. Believe me, you don't want to go back and experience the same shit again. I hope that you recover well after your break up. I wish you the best. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
The problem is the entightlement… why does a man have to owe so much time money & energy when the idea should be we bothe enjoy the time we spent togethor..? Its not like only the man is having fun or is that the status qu these days..?
Well he shouldnt have said what he said then should he? unbelievable!! told me he wanted to change that ive been on my own for a long time. told me he really wanted to meet me ,take me out fir a meal etc etc. Knew him fir approximately 4 months after he sent me a friend request. 2 minutes before he knew i was ringing him for the first time, he blocked me!! never met him was looking forward to meeting him i don't get it? This happened 9 days ago. Just ghosted me!! Is he emotionally unavailable? told me he lives alone etc . i just don't get why he dod that? very cowardly and cruel.
Yeah, in some cases it can be used as an excuse. But that is simple explanation and it’s not the only reality. I mean, research on psychology, neurological pathways, trauma and attachment and what not is also relevant
Not all the time. Some people just don't want a relationship, or, are considerate enough to not bring people into their shit. They know themselves well enough and have considerate empathy for others. If someone is not into you they will usually say, "I'm not looking for a relationship" or something along those lines.
@@Ty-iz9wd thats what people should do....not what they do...I for one....wont let it get that far.....but from my experience....and observation....thats rare. I never stated that it was the only reality. My point is that if you are in a certain situation....it is up to you to set boundaries or walk away. Assuming that someone else will handle things in an evolved, empathetic or mature manner will leave you disappointed. However, in most cases, someone doesn't reciprocate simply because they don't value you enough to do so. Whether they should or shouldn't is a different matter. It is something that you have no control over. My advice to anyone is to control the things that you can and handle these situations in a manner that you would have someone handle it if you were on the receiving end.
I'll give every dude a piece of advice. Women have giant antenna's that pick up feelings, they wanna feel comfortable. How do you do it? You get raised in a household with parenting single Mum and Sister you share a room and age with
I don't think there's hope for all these relationships despite all this advice. Divorce rates are through the roof. There's too much choice. Not enough boundary on who is doing what nowadays. I don't know anyone who has been in a lasting relationship.
I think what you need is a little bit of introspection. Did you know your thoughts are protecting mechanisms? Like, 1. looking for flaws in ppl so you stay unattached and can remain independent. 2. Nobody being good enough, they’ll never be because you keep saying that to be independent. If you wanna read more thought provoking explanations you probably will resonate with you can read the book “attached”. It will give you vocabulary and a road map on how your relationship tends to work out, information gives you the power to change the cycle.
OH MY FING GOD. YOU ARMCHAIR ANALYSTS SHOULD BE TALKING TO GUYS! DONT TELL WOMEN. WOMEN, GO ON STRIKE! IF HE PULLS AWAY...........LET HIM! ID PREFER SPENDING MY TIME WITH A MAN, NOT A WHINY BABY. DONT MAKE WOMEN RESPONSIBLE TO ROCK SOME BIG BABY TO SLEEP.
This is why I’m a firm believer in helping yourself heal first before trying to date. It’s not easy but it saves people a lot of heartache and time wasted. The selfishness in people these days is unbelievable
Cherry so true
Men dont do that tho. They suppress. Then freak out when you get close. I'm so tired.
Preach!!!
I am a guy who is struggling with mental health and finding himself, and emotionally unavailable outside our workplace.
Even though I have feelings for her, I know I would just be very inconsistent and in the end we would end up breaking up anyway.
To save us both the heartache, I chose to friendzone her and keep my distance.
Exactly. Leaving people hanging in uncertainty, little communication and then guilt trip the other person for feeling hurt or disrespected.
Very confusing bc I also selfreflect if it's my own issue but many times things turn into chaos bc someone can't treat others with basic, simple respect.
When I need space I will tell a man, not ignore him.
@@Jackson-tx5ucThat's exactly what a man told me after 4 months of dating.
He said it's not sustainable due to his demanding job and can't meet my needs.i feel so sad bc it felt pure and different. He said he would feel sad to never see or talk to me again but this is best way to go, to end the romantic connection.
I cared about him and I tell myself he is not indifferent to me but it still feels like it.
He wrote " we will talk more tomorrow" but I haven't heard of him. That was 6 days ago
I'm still hoping to hear from him but I assume not.
Then a guy should NOT USE A woman to satisfy his physical benefits until he has figured out what his emotional state of mind is with her.
Damn right!
Good luck with that. That would take mature men. Oxymoron...
and women should NOT date unless they are ready to start a family and be a wife/mother.
@@briggs5569 instead of agreeing with the topic at hand. Your grown ass chose to be defensive. You don't needa woman. You need therapy.
@@briggs5569wtf
Emotionally unavailable men = immaturity
EXACTLY!!
If he's unavailable at all, he should stay away from women. No talking, texting, fun or hooking up. He cant get someones availability if he is unavailable. He is working on friends with benefits, only when she wants clarity he runs. Lol, stay home and jerk. Dont involve a woman in your problems.
Damn right lol!
This comment makes me want to mess them up just like they did me 😂
Damn straight 💯✌🏾
Exactly
Like they care..they have no dignity..😒
Sounds like therapy is needed to deal with these mental blocks.
Society to men: "go to therapy!"
Therapist: "what are you doing to help your situation?"
Then he wastes a whole year of your time tricking you into thinking he actually likes you as much as you've grown to like him.
I worry for this younger this upcoming generation. I am SO thankful I am married. When I was dating either you liked someone enough to lock it down or not.
Guys now are different they don’t even want woman, just have 6 women on the go and they rotate them so they don’t have to open up its really sad
@@catherineabbey1466 you mean the top 10% of men
@@catherineabbey1466 yeah and women today just use social media to talk to 6 guys at once playing them while trying to pick the potential winner. super sad.
@@catherineabbey1466 I feel as though I'm one of those emotionally unavailable men. But I'm not looking to spin plates. I'm still fairly young and I just wanna hookup, have ONS and FWBs with lots of girls. Basically I wanna be a man 304. But it's super difficult to get that as an average guy. So, dating a girl without having any clear indication of what that relationship is actually helps me. I know it's a very selfish worldview. But seriously I ain't got a choice. It's either my mental peace by hooking up with lots of girls or her mental peace by committing to her and losing all of my chances to f**k as many girls as possible.
@@catherineabbey1466stop projecting. Youre the one who juggles and has 6 men on the go. Men have adjusted to the game so good luck 😊
What i would do with an emotionally unavailable men if I knew it was because of their fear or them being avoidant attachment from their childhood experience.. is that I would try to be in my secure vibration and be an angel to them, nice.. sweet.. fun.. caring.. make them feel safe around me, no pushing no demanding.. but being clear with my boundaries, be on my best behavior with them and give it a time. i don't think 3-6 months is a time waste to give someone a try in dating/relationship. After that if it is still not being reciprocated or no progress whatsoever.. then leave with no regrets.
Sounds like you are considerate and committed while being tough, wise, and mature. Your value is vibrant and bright, please do not devalue it. I wish I could meet a girl like that sometime in my life, even if it was just in the last year of my own life.
It doesn't worked with a man who I felt in love. He used me the whole time and didn't wanted me to leave when I tried.
So what is a girl supposed to do ? I hate wasting my time with non committal men. I also would never want to force a relationship with anyone. I usually just walk away and get sick of waiting around.
You just reminded me on how I am wasting my time by being hopeful and almost feel like I am forcing a relationship/begging for love.. thank you!! I needed this sign tbh 🎉❤
@@jessicuhh4442 hope u moved on from him and are doing better now☺☺☺
@@tanyarawat9700 I am.. healing ❤️🩹 NO contact at all! even tho he tries every so often.. I block the numbers
@@tanyarawat9700 unfortunately I didn’t move on yet.. but I am slowly but surely focusing on MEEEEEE rn 🧘♀️💖❤️🔥 ✨
3 months of waiting and him saying "let's see where it goes, I'm open to a relationship , focusing on my career ,etc"
I'm convinced when a man knows ,it's well known. After I seen he still had his dating app after I already questioned him I left ✌🏾
That isn’t a problem with that as long as you communicate that. Better than ghosting.
When this happens. Time is wasted when love and fun can be happening. Let your fears and insecurities go so that y'all can enjoy your life. Let your guard down 👇 God wants people to live life more abundantly.
Lol a woman here, your description made me realize i'm emotionally unavailable. Also fear of having found the one is actually pretty stressful too. Cause it feels like you are kinda trapped even though society tells ppl you should be happy to settle down
Yes I am in love with him. And I mentioned the word love and that’s when he started pulling away from me
Women do that too.!! We can emotionally detach to keep from being used or hurt...
I'm still looking for that key to stay detached.
But not use them we will make it clear to them at least I will
I have for good. I am done with dating/love/relationship
@@nofybn7794 I'm sorry !!! Me too !!! 😒😢
You’d think if he had these good feelings towards you that he want to give those things whatever they are! Pulling away just ruins everything
EXACTLY!!
And the emotionally unavailable even after they get married.
Im telling ya just get money
Omg. Going through this right now😢 I always thought there was something between us, we definitely flirted and there were long lingering looks, but now, he pulls away...and he says there’s someone else he cares about? So now I'm walking away.
Yes, I went through it twice with him. I should have been done, I was and I am. I wanted to see what he would though. It sucks. It happened again of course, I see he didn't care about me. I think he is still trying with me. So annoying. I am done and want to be done with him.
A guy told me he was emotionally unavailable but turns out he was actually in a relationship
Omg that's exactly what happened 😱 He kept me as a "fwb" for 6 months but never met up with me again after the first 2. Only texted or sexted every other day or so. For 4 MORE months after any benefits actually happened. After I brought up something that bothered me he left suddenly. Been a week since I've heard from him.
Respect yourself and leave him he will continue to disrespect and use your because you are ALLOWING it!!!
Respect yourself and leave him he will continue to disrespect and use your because you are ALLOWING it!!!
Respect yourself and leave him he will continue to disrespect and use your because you are ALLOWING it!!!
Respect yourself and leave him he will continue to disrespect and use your because you are ALLOWING it!!!
Respect yourself and leave him he will continue to disrespect and use your because you are ALLOWING it!!!
He wasn't physically or emotionally available. Made me sad.
I like plain talk. I TELL him that he's got 3 months to get with it. That's waaaaaaay time enough for him to know where he is where we're concerned. AND a man will waste your time for ss long as you let him.
EXACTLY!!
My husband is like this.. He said he loved me and we got married... 3 months into the marriage he says his love can't b deep it can simply b surface level and fun.. It's been 6yrs a we have a kid.. he just wants me to do wifely duties and sex.. emotionally unavailable I feel all alone. I blame me for being in this shit pit, i put myself in..
😢
Im sorry you’re hurting, but 6 years is not too long. I work in elderly care and I know 80+ year olds who lived like that all their lives. Also I’ve heard that the statistics show men leave their wives when they get sick and remarry after they die, while women care for their sick husbands and mourn them. I think how we love others is a reflection of your worth. You gave all for love so you haven’t done anything wrong. Maybe you are attracted to the wrong kind of guy? They are taught many toxic things online
You deserve better
I was in the same position... do yourself a favor and get out now. It will be hard but you get one life and deserve to live a life that is happy and fulfilled.
Please, for the love of yourself and your child, leave that marriage before it damages you! It’s not uncommon for people to think they’ll be able to tolerate the pain for the sake of their children but then, once their guard is eventually down, they’ll rot and turn bitter and resentful. It’s just human nature, so it would be wise to leave a relationship like that!!!
Imagine that I'm almost 30 years old and didn't know that this was a thing until recently. Probably explains why I have never been in a relationship because this description sounds very familiar. I always wanted a gf but the few times when someone actually showed interest in me, I always started to feel like I was suffocating. Like I was on my way to some prison.
And for me it is so severe that I cannot even do hook ups or friends with benefits. Then when I have gone to some nightclubs, I have gone with the mindset of meetings someone. But when someone actually have showed interest in me, I have pulled away or not done any moves. And I haven't even tried internet dating, just the thought of me going on a tider date with someone makes me exhausted
He told me he is emotionally unavailable after I expressed my confusion bc he didn't text me for 4 days after our date and he held my hand and we had only good times in person!
He said it made him anxious that he felt he made me unhappy.
I was not unhappy, I only needed time to understand his texting rythm. He did communicate in between dates but I felt some kind of distance and it made me feel he didn't miss me.
Maybe it's partially also me being anxious but I never pushed or texted him daily.
He explained his demanding travel job and during those trips he would not text me.
Also he replied 1 or 2 days later.
I felt disrespected and I telk myself I did the right thing by expressing my feeling.
He said I could always express my thoughts and I was surprised to notice he was empathetic but unfortunately that changed soon.
I asked him "so you don't have romantic feelings for me?" He said "why do you think I don't have romantic feelings?".
He also said he didn't want to end it as this stage bc he really liked me but he thinks irs better for me and him die to different expectations and bad timing.
The first time we had a misunderstanding, he refused to speak to me for a whole week. I thought it might be our age difference of 29 years, but no. Cut to 4 years together, he simply never texts me anything. I get one word answers. I get told to go hang out with my friends. He says I can simply come over if I want to... He doesn't ever get ahold of me to hang out or even talk anymore. He thinks we are just going to have a disagreement. Then he can quit responding to me all over again.
Was it always one word? Just how some people are. I can't make a big long thing out of nothing. Something that only needs 1 word. I'm simple and to the point. No extras. The other stuff though, he doesn't want to hang out, doesn't try. He's not interested or he's "feminine" and expects you. You said he said you can over if you want.
What if he says that he’s afraid to be hurt again because he’s been in other relationships that broke his heart.
Leave him ASAP a Man knows if he wants you don't allow him to waste your time
He’ll take it out on you
@@lashondarochell7584 YEP 👍🏽
then he shouldn't date or talk to women either. he should stay single and heal on his own, not let his unavailability hurt other women.
Thanks for sharing that info to the women who need it. But ladies stay celibate and wait for your man of God and you won't have to worry about the childish games 😉😃
❤❤❤
Celibacy for so many reason. One being to not bring another female here to deal with loneliness and bullshit. Among other degrading things.
AMEN AMEN AMEN 🎉
I'm not having sex ever. So There is no your man of god. I'm done.
So basically emotionally unavailable just means he's not ready to commit to a relationship with you.
He can be very attracted to you, like you or even feel like he is in love with you but fears commitment. He has feelings but COMMITMENT & VULNERABILITY is what he's trying to avoid which is why he draws back forth between hot & cold with you which causes emotionally unavailability.
So what do you do when this happens? When he's "emotionally unavailable"?
Please leave before you get emotionally attached or fall in love. Hell completely destroy you and walk away. Leave before you’re too deep in, you can’t help him or “heal” him. He has to do it himself.
@@gianna3582 how do these people reason destroying someone special in their minds?🤔
@@tanyarawat9700 now this is what I want to know!
Run
Simple move the fuck on amd for the love of self respect don't give up your body just because your getting some attention.
But unless you know exactly what's going on with him there's no way of telling this apart from a man that's unsure or benching
There's no unsure. Unsure means NO.
True , well explained
Yup, married to emotionally unavailable
Thank you for the clarity!
so true !
Thank you for the confirmation.. So glad I'm a woman of action & I ran😊🏃♀️
Golden advice!
Wow this is the guy I was dealing with
you hit the nail on the head
Thank you, for this.
It’s very true for me in way because after coming out of 4year relationship am just not in anyway shape or form think of getting serious with someone and it’s mostly because my mind doesn’t want to go there for know.
You will know when someone is emotionaly available when they hurt you physically ans even emotionally and they don't meet your basic needs
As a guy experiencing this right now, I can say this is 100% accurate
You’re emotionally unavailable?
Thank you ❤
Yes fomo is the biggest problem .ur 100% right on
So how is a Man suppose to become emotionally available? Cause if you date a woman, its precisely because you want to figure this out, you want to find someone who will awaken you availability, and if the woman youre dating does not match what youre looking for and you realize this, then you suddenly become the asshole for not staying with that girl that didnt fit what youre looking for... women do this to men. When they realize theyre not happy, they break up but we dont say theyre emotionally unavailable.... sometimes if it doesnt work then it doesnt
That's different than emotional unavailability. Someone realizing you are not incompatible and deciding to pursue their happiness because they are an independent individual is different than dating someone to fix you. You should date people when you get your shit figured out. Your partner is your partner, not your emotional therapist who gets nothing in return.
@@Ty-iz9wd and thats exactly why I wrote that!
I'm a woman and I'm dealing with the fact that I'm emotionally unavailable. trying to fix it right now.
Not just guys lol they so dumb and dramatic
In his videos on it, he gives many different reasons but all are true
I think that your interpretation of what emotionally unavailable Men actually really means is not the correct interpretation. Emotionally unavailable men are men who don't actually care about the woman's emotions especially when she tries to communicate to him how she feels about certain things like how he treats her or starts acting cold and aloof towards her, and so he shows little to no regards at all about how it makes her feel when he behaves a certain way towards her. So he will immediately start to interrupt her before she can even finish her sentences communicating her feelings, so that he doesn't have to hear it, because it could possibly be the truth and emotionally unavailable men don't like to be confronted with the truth so they will do their best to not allow the woman to finish communicating how she feels and that she is hurt, confused, or sensing that something is off. So he will flip the coin on her and start calling her overly emotional, or that she is crazy and that this is crazy talk, and that her feelings are over emotionally over the top, and tell her that he can't stand to hear all of this highly emotional crazy talk, etc. and even if she begs him to allow her to finish communicating her emotions and feelings he still will stubbornly not let her speak and talk over her and tell her that she needs to stop because she's acting crazy and overly emotional, and if she continues this type of behavior, it will push him away from her overtime. So the man that is emotionally unavailable, will never admit that she is right about how her intuition is alerting her about red flags in the man, and he fears that buy her getting a chance to fully Express herself from the beginning to the end, that he will be confronted with the uncomfortable truth of the fact that he is emotionally unavailable gaslighter. They don't like to ever admit that those characteristic traits are true about them, because the truth is uncomfortable to them and they are never wrong it is always the woman who is being victimized that gets the blame for "sounding crazy/too over the top emotionally. And he'll also say things like you have to stop doing this you can't keep doing this, this is a bad behavior, etc! Emotionally available but he's also emotionally abusive or manipulative gaslighting her to make her seem like she is the crazy one and just overreacting, trying to start an argument. That's what the REAL meaning of emotionally unavailable men is.
this is what my crush told me when I confessed I like him
lol weird. from my experience as a guy being „too available“ too early is turning women off. at least the pretty ones. i feel like i am perceived as „ boring“ for being „too easy“ and not mysterious. Yet here i foudn myself in a bubble of bitter women complaining about men being emotionally unavialable. I wonder if yall are 30-40s single. In that case yall probably deserve it, cause you had plenty of emotionally ready guys that you deemed „boring nice guys“ and once they get angry you call them toxic. Also i tend to believe most girls who go for „emotionally unavailable men“ are pretty girls (who are spoiled with attention for them to think emotional availabilty is a factor that makes men „boring“)
Wow wasted 7 months with a man who’s emotionally unavailable .. i broke up with him a few days ago..
@@pizzelle2 Now I'm feeling better than ever. 😁 I'm glad I broke up. Since I broke up, I've generally stayed completely away from men since 10 months ago. Believe me, you don't want to go back and experience the same shit again. I hope that you recover well after your break up. I wish you the best. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Here I am five years later thinking i just matured since my breakup, but this guy exposed me like he was Jesus
The problem is the entightlement… why does a man have to owe so much time money & energy when the idea should be we bothe enjoy the time we spent togethor..? Its not like only the man is having fun or is that the status qu these days..?
So men want with out the earnings ...
But it's ok to be complete selfish and destructive. That's not stupid and irresponsible.... 😕😳
I the one. Wake up. You know I'm the one. You have confirmation. Let's not waste anymore time. You can trust me with your heart.
Well he shouldnt have said what he said then should he? unbelievable!! told me he wanted to change that ive been on my own for a long time. told me he really wanted to meet me ,take me out fir a meal etc etc. Knew him fir approximately 4 months after he sent me a friend request. 2 minutes before he knew i was ringing him for the first time, he blocked me!! never met him was looking forward to meeting him i don't get it? This happened 9 days ago. Just ghosted me!! Is he emotionally unavailable? told me he lives alone etc . i just don't get why he dod that? very cowardly and cruel.
This interpretation of yours is so off and totally wrong about what the real meaning of an emotionally unavailable man is.
My current situation...what to do?
So what do I do about it??? Always happened
What can we do about this as women who want a relationship with him?
It means ….he’s just not that into u. Lol. Same thing if the woman says that…
Yeah, in some cases it can be used as an excuse. But that is simple explanation and it’s not the only reality. I mean, research on psychology, neurological pathways, trauma and attachment and what not is also relevant
Not all the time. Some people just don't want a relationship, or, are considerate enough to not bring people into their shit. They know themselves well enough and have considerate empathy for others. If someone is not into you they will usually say, "I'm not looking for a relationship" or something along those lines.
@@Ty-iz9wd thats what people should do....not what they do...I for one....wont let it get that far.....but from my experience....and observation....thats rare. I never stated that it was the only reality. My point is that if you are in a certain situation....it is up to you to set boundaries or walk away. Assuming that someone else will handle things in an evolved, empathetic or mature manner will leave you disappointed. However, in most cases, someone doesn't reciprocate simply because they don't value you enough to do so. Whether they should or shouldn't is a different matter. It is something that you have no control over. My advice to anyone is to control the things that you can and handle these situations in a manner that you would have someone handle it if you were on the receiving end.
Def just went through this 😂 what a shit show
And after he pulls away what happens then??
oh my God...💔
Maybe also an avoidant attachment style???
Yeah but avoidant attachment style is a state you can theoretically get out of
@@Phoe8D so is emotional unavailability. Both require the ability to be in touch with our emotions and be vulnerable and honest with them.
❤
I thought emotionally unavailable meant people that did not want you. They are still unavailable.
That's great but... what does it mean to be emotionally unavailable?
so what about when they actually marry, but continue to be emotionally unavailable in the marriage.
the thing is I'm only here to look at Elliot LOL he's so handsome
Hilarious!
And what does one do with this when you're drawn in
Draw out asap or you'll sink and he wouldn't even offer u a hand
@@tanyarawat9700 hey
@@tanyarawat9700 Girl, you're right👍
I'll give every dude a piece of advice. Women have giant antenna's that pick up feelings, they wanna feel comfortable. How do you do it? You get raised in a household with parenting single Mum and Sister you share a room and age with
This happens to women too
What if he asked you marry him with this mindset????
I feel like I m a male right now
I don't think there's hope for all these relationships despite all this advice. Divorce rates are through the roof. There's too much choice. Not enough boundary on who is doing what nowadays.
I don't know anyone who has been in a lasting relationship.
This is me what do i need to do to get rid of this? I ruined a good thing because this kind of behavior.
I think what you need is a little bit of introspection. Did you know your thoughts are protecting mechanisms? Like, 1. looking for flaws in ppl so you stay unattached and can remain independent. 2. Nobody being good enough, they’ll never be because you keep saying that to be independent.
If you wanna read more thought provoking explanations you probably will resonate with you can read the book “attached”. It will give you vocabulary and a road map on how your relationship tends to work out, information gives you the power to change the cycle.
OH MY FING GOD. YOU ARMCHAIR ANALYSTS SHOULD BE TALKING TO GUYS! DONT TELL WOMEN. WOMEN, GO ON STRIKE! IF HE PULLS AWAY...........LET HIM! ID PREFER SPENDING MY TIME WITH A MAN, NOT A WHINY BABY. DONT MAKE WOMEN RESPONSIBLE TO ROCK SOME BIG BABY TO SLEEP.
I'm "the guy"..🧐
And now he won’t respond to my text and it’s been 2 weeks
Yeah I have ROBLOX in my head
Their user's
No thats not what it means
Sounds too familiar😡