Psychiatrist Explains What Guilt Is

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 4 лют 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 136

  • @eebbaa5560
    @eebbaa5560 Рік тому +738

    > i feel negative emotions
    > they make me want to change
    > i do nothing
    > i feel negative emotions

    • @lukav2425
      @lukav2425 Рік тому +46

      “Grandad what do you do when you wanna do something, but there’s nothing to do?”
      “You do what you can”

    • @eebbaa5560
      @eebbaa5560 Рік тому +16

      @@lukav2425 i'm ngl that scene always pissed me off

    • @natas4301
      @natas4301 Рік тому

      @@eebbaa5560why

    • @yesjo1456
      @yesjo1456 Рік тому

      ​@@eebbaa5560yeah it's hard to get out of that, i have it too but im getting better at it. but you're never going to be happy if you keep doing nothing

    • @TAP7a
      @TAP7a Рік тому +2

      *Now* you see a therapist. They give you tools to change that third point

  • @HeliosPlayGames
    @HeliosPlayGames Рік тому +575

    The worst thing is when you feel guilt but you're not sure what is right and wrong anymore

    • @mariobolanos2785
      @mariobolanos2785 Рік тому +7

      I aggre but I won't be the 70th

    • @NoGoatsNoGlory.
      @NoGoatsNoGlory. Рік тому

      ​@@mariobolanos2785your time has come

    • @mobilityproject3485
      @mobilityproject3485 Рік тому +33

      There's a different word for that feeling: shame.
      A different way of putting it is that shame is a mix of guilt and fear.

    • @tymondabrowski12
      @tymondabrowski12 Рік тому

      ​@@mobilityproject3485there is a great vodeo on shame vs guilt by Theramin Trees (which is a great channel and everyone interested in psychology should know it).

    • @jaylogu5675
      @jaylogu5675 Рік тому +17

      Emotions are valid but they may not be justified , it might have to do something with your childhood where your parents made you feel guilt even when they were wrong

  • @MrBoegela
    @MrBoegela Рік тому +66

    im conflicted because a lot of parents and./or systems use guilt to gaslight and manipulate people, it tells you that you're wrong, but what that wrong is, is determined by the people who instilled it in you

  • @koalagangsta
    @koalagangsta Рік тому +9

    I agree that sometimes negative emotions are great drivers. With that, sometimes they are not justified and create anxiety.

  • @EllyValentini
    @EllyValentini Рік тому +46

    Dr K: I can use that anger…
    me: to kill them
    Dr K: to set boundaries
    me: oh…

    • @zen_tewmbs
      @zen_tewmbs Місяць тому +2

      @@EllyValentini underrated comment

  • @schaughtful
    @schaughtful Рік тому +41

    Just like how confessions used to dissolve the drive for action, therapy too can inspire complacency.

    • @veronicasipe2017
      @veronicasipe2017 Рік тому +22

      The problem is, in our society, families, and communities, sometimes we are conditioned to feel guilt for things we don't need to.
      A really good therapist should help you sort out which guilt you have is unnecessary, leaving you with only the guilt that is brought on by your true and authentic morals/values, so that you know what to act on, or can make an informed decision about why you aren't acting on a particular thing.
      But the point of investigating the roots of things like guilt is so we don't have to add extra suffering on top of our suffering, if we understand why our brains do that. Like how anxiety isn't trying to make us miserable, it's trying to protect us. Guilt is just trying to help us be admirable people in our own eyes. But sometimes it needs help figuring out what criteria to use.

    • @JohnSmith-us9fv
      @JohnSmith-us9fv Рік тому +1

      ​@@veronicasipe2017❤👍

  • @guidosalescalvano9862
    @guidosalescalvano9862 Рік тому +21

    It is important to realize that not all anger guilt or shame is reasonable... Sometimes you need to metabolize it with a therapist...

  • @steggopotamus
    @steggopotamus Рік тому +14

    I gotta say I've met too many people whose entire strategy for change when they feel guilt is to force themselves to change most often with the words "be strong".
    Thassit, their whole plan.
    So I've been comparing it to wanting to be in a weight lifting competition. Which is the winning strategy?
    1) get a personal trainer, develop an exercise routine, have a lifting buddy or group, learn about how to do tge exercises, get the right diet.
    Or
    2) be strong (i guess that would be just walk up yo a barbell the day of a competition and try really hard?)
    If you can't think of what to do and keep back sliding, find ways to talk with others, seek professional help, and set up daily routines for things that could help you.

  • @Dialogos1989
    @Dialogos1989 Рік тому +4

    I feel a sense of guilt and shame no matter what I do

  • @2c2bpolitics-ce-gate3-4
    @2c2bpolitics-ce-gate3-4 Місяць тому +1

    The problem is how much time it takes to process. Time doesnt pause to allow you to complete positive changes. Work and life competes with time for reflection and personal growth and in theur incompletion do bad habits compile and the stress of dealing with both shame/guilt while engaging in life compounds.
    Life is becoming a horror show for me lately. Im always bogged down with guilt over the pettiest of potential offenses... and i usually only ever commit those offenses due to a mistake or something like anxiety. Im real sick of the guilt as it is making it hard to use that time for ambition or aspiration. "Positive change" is a tedious process... the stupid flesh doesnt change as soon as you will it... life goes on and during that time you have to keep exposing that non-positive-changed monster in vain with evermore guilty shameful results. Oh well.

  • @zoomiezooms
    @zoomiezooms Рік тому +1

    Yeah it's good to prioritize your hobbies and passions idk I feel like I try to avoid conflict and being too angry most of the time I love learning new things and just avoid things that make sad or too stressed
    Your videos are comforting to me, you're really cool even if sometimes I disagree with you

  • @HelensWorld
    @HelensWorld Рік тому +8

    I learned to use anger as a driving force for change.

  • @gardenandcalico
    @gardenandcalico Рік тому +1

    idk about guilt because a lot of us feel guilty about things that werent bad. ie for breaking up with someone who was treating us terribly. for using our own money to buy things we like for ourselves. etc

  • @torin725
    @torin725 Рік тому +61

    You can also use the anger and bowl it up into a murderous rage when you attack him, Giving you a better chance of winning the fight and getting your stuff back!!😮

  • @cottencandyjoe
    @cottencandyjoe Рік тому +1

    This video needs to go to everyone

  • @Toastymuffin
    @Toastymuffin Рік тому +14

    It isn't a driver for doing the right thing. It is a mechanism of social evolution that keeps you safe and secure. If you go against your tribe/ social group, you will feel guilty regardless if you are doing the morally correct thing or not. A long time ago people would be removed from their tribe and have to wander around in no mans land and risk death by going against their tribe. Guilt would help discourage you from continuing that behavior that would cause you to be exiled from the tribe. It is why it is common for societies to do the wrong immoral thing like commit genocide and not feel guilty about it.

    • @mobilityproject3485
      @mobilityproject3485 Рік тому +1

      That's shame, not guilt. Guilt is based on an objective moral standard, and is fairly new

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 Рік тому +1

      Yup, such outdated feelings. No need for that in the modern world.

    • @Toastymuffin
      @Toastymuffin Рік тому +3

      ​@@mobilityproject3485 I'm fine with being wrong but I don't think you are correct. Shame happens because of perceived lack of power to meet the standards (of your tribe), where as guilt happens when you have a perceived power to meet the standards but refuse to meet those anyway. They both invoke the same existential feelings of dread, because both would get you kicked out of your tribe.

    • @mobilityproject3485
      @mobilityproject3485 Рік тому

      @@Toastymuffin I really don't care what name you ascribe to it, but there is a difference between the emotion of pity for your victim, vs the emotion where that is mixed with a self focused fear of the other's retaliation (or society). I know because I've felt them both (or rather, I have felt different shame blends, some that are more guilt heavy, and some that are more fear heavy).
      I use the words guilt and shame to describe those two feelings, because they 1) fit seamlessly into the model of guilt, shame, and fear based societies and 2) make sense of psychological disorders such as narcissistic personality where the person is capable of shame, but not of full, true guilt.
      (I don't think anyone ever gets to 100% pure guilt, but it's a process. The fear heavy shame blends are very toxic socially because they block out the valuable parts of guilt, like pity for the victim, while the fear usually leads to violence on part of the ashamed person).

    • @mobilityproject3485
      @mobilityproject3485 Рік тому

      By the way, a different ancient pathway for guilt: guilt helps discourage behavior that destroys the tribe as a whole

  • @ummmummm9955
    @ummmummm9955 Рік тому

    Wow, this was the first thing a saw after writing about similar topics in my journal

  • @Temmah_tjJc
    @Temmah_tjJc Місяць тому

    In my case unfortunately, I feel guilt often just for existing, knowing there are people who are far smarter, more talented and more loved that I am who are no longer blessing the world with their gifts and no longer here with family and loved ones yet I AM!?
    That’s on par with thee guilt I feel constantly and it’s very challenging to deal with. It’s far beyond being a trigger to change negative behaviors - instead it is often compulsive and constant.
    Enjoy a few hours of time doing my hobbies means I must spend the whole time reassuring myself that I’m allowed to do such -I work 12 hour overnights as an RN, take care of my family and put everyone else’s needs and wants before my own happily yet feel I still deserve nothing and that’s hard to handle because part of me is constantly saying “you could do more for others-why are you sitting here PAINTING!”…
    😢

  • @HighOctivity
    @HighOctivity Рік тому

    I struggle with guilt. On one hand I know I need it to do better, but I find myself feeling guilty throughout the day about things that happened years ago and things I wouldnt do in the present day. So really this particular guilt I feel is useless for me (as ive already grown past what caused it).

  • @chester1882
    @chester1882 Рік тому

    Nice. I like a bit of base analysis of emotions

  • @aero7848
    @aero7848 3 місяці тому

    guilt is more like an alarm bell that you're doing something wrong.

  • @masonofcamelot7777
    @masonofcamelot7777 Рік тому +1

    All these negative emotions and I’m not perfect yet?!?!

  • @upmayo100
    @upmayo100 Рік тому +15

    That's if your negative emotion is appropriately placed. I can think of a thousand examples of when it's not.

    • @jensenraylight8011
      @jensenraylight8011 Рік тому +1

      like when someone stole 65inch TV from a Hotel and didn't felt a single guilt at all

  • @TheDizeazedKiller
    @TheDizeazedKiller Рік тому

    Im sitting here on day 4 of procrastinating 24/7 with a due date coming in 4 days. I feel no guilt or stress. I will once i hit maybe 12hours from the deadline, have to cancel weekend plans and ruah a shitty prosuct out at the last moment...
    Or ill stop doomscrolling and get just 5 minutes of work done, and that will start rolling into me getting the assignment done properly over the next few days.
    But every time i step away from doomscrolling i get the bad feels even though its not fun.
    But they go away in about 5 minutes if i just ignore the urge to distract by doomscrolling and get to work, or just sit and be present with that bad feeling.
    And then ironically i have a feeling i actually might start stressing about the assignment once i properly start on it, when the whole thing isn't a swirling complex mess but actually a tangible task and i get a feel for how long it takes.
    And i wonder, will making this comment help me take that action? I hope the answer is yes... And if i hope its yes, and MAKE it yes, then i have one more way to step away from bad habits and work on good ones.

  • @christiangraulau8107
    @christiangraulau8107 Рік тому +9

    Yeah but sometimes guilt and anger can be so strong it does more harm than good

    • @EggEnjoyer
      @EggEnjoyer Рік тому +1

      You have to learn how to manage those emotions. You cannot live a life without guilt and anger. You need to be able to acknowledge and act on your guilt and anger. And so you must learn to let yourself feel and react in a reasonable manner.

  • @alternatives3379
    @alternatives3379 3 місяці тому

    And what happens when guilt is felt for things that should be okay, Or even right?
    Why is it there? What is there to change?
    And what if you can feel guilt with any option of two you decide to make?

  • @stoneyvowell1239
    @stoneyvowell1239 Рік тому +1

    Our guilt is very healthy for us, because it helps motivate positive change. Being forced to feel other people's guilt to manipulate us into somebody else's positive change is not so healthy for us.

  • @junkoyaki5486
    @junkoyaki5486 Рік тому +81

    is it really the right thing when people use ur guilt to guilt trip u tho

    • @MrScythe88
      @MrScythe88 Рік тому +50

      Pretty sure that's just manipulative behavior. He's talking about a person feeling their own guilt. Another person making you feel guilty is probably manipulating you.

    • @justtest
      @justtest Рік тому +4

      ​@@MrScythe88there are people who burn you emotionally by amplifying emotions they see in you, especially guilt.

    • @MrScythe88
      @MrScythe88 Рік тому

      @@justtest I agree, but doesn't that just fall under Manipulation?

    • @justtest
      @justtest Рік тому +5

      @@MrScythe88 Only when you are experienced enough to recognize it as manipulation. I think many people will think of it as their own emotions being pointed out. At least I was that naive until around 35 😅

    • @MrScythe88
      @MrScythe88 Рік тому +1

      @@justtest fair enough. Sorry that happened to you.

  • @bemore2886
    @bemore2886 Рік тому

    I feel guilty for stupid shit often n usually say sorry or sometimes say fuck it

  • @DarkHound9999
    @DarkHound9999 Рік тому

    What he describes only works if your general emotional framework is calibrated properly.
    You dont go to therapist because you're angry for someone stealing from you. You go if someone fucks you over and you dont get angry or if you get angry all the time without any obvious reason.

  • @flowapowa4307
    @flowapowa4307 Рік тому +3

    But sometimes the guilt is not justified, it doesnt always mean i did something wrong. In that case one has to metabolize it to let go of it. (For example in case of being a SA victim)

    • @EggEnjoyer
      @EggEnjoyer Рік тому

      Do you think he’s trying to say that it’s never okay to go to therapy for guilt and anger? Like do you honestly believe that’s his message?

    • @flowapowa4307
      @flowapowa4307 Рік тому

      @@EggEnjoyer Hi man, sorry, I didn't mean to upset anyone. I was just sharing my thoughts watching the short.
      ofc thats not what i think but he's not sharing here when you SHOULD go to a therapist (i sure he does in the longer format of this) so i wanted to point that out to people watching this one as a standalone thing.

    • @EggEnjoyer
      @EggEnjoyer Рік тому

      @@flowapowa4307 Sorry if I came off as aggressive. It’s just a lot of people in the shorts comments always have the least charitable interpretations of what Dr.k is trying to say

  • @mattnichols6810
    @mattnichols6810 Рік тому

    On the other side of the same coin, having TOO MUCH guilt also makes it hard to tell the difference between right and wrong.

  • @GenesRapture
    @GenesRapture Рік тому

    It’s more complicated than that depending where one is in life

  • @blondiephantasia995
    @blondiephantasia995 Рік тому +1

    I’m sorry but I got such a good laugh from that thumbnail face

  • @austinschmidt8228
    @austinschmidt8228 Рік тому

    you can feel guilty when you shouldn’t
    And you’ll think you need to change but you’re just being taken advantage of

  • @potatopotato7882
    @potatopotato7882 Рік тому

    ok but what hopelessness goes for? What positive change it tries to achive ? Does wanting to not exist means I'm the negative and if I don't exist it will be a positive change ?

  • @yayfly7349
    @yayfly7349 Рік тому

    The guilt is based off the moral compass not the other way round

  • @goodvybe679
    @goodvybe679 Рік тому

    Only I feel strongly about things for like 10 seconds before deciding I actually don't care anymore lol. If anything I'm more motivated by positive emotion cause of how easily I let go of negative emotions.
    Like "homelessness would suck but only cause cooked food slaps''

  • @RiftWalker111
    @RiftWalker111 Рік тому +2

    Guilt ≠ change

  • @ambern.9887
    @ambern.9887 Рік тому

    What about people that feel guilt over regular things. You know where it doesn't make sense to be guilty but they feel like they have to be.

  • @Arcadi4.44
    @Arcadi4.44 Місяць тому

    But there's also the possibilty for someone to be guilt tripped and feel inappropriate guilt. Like projection and/or gaslighting

  • @ryanschneer
    @ryanschneer 3 місяці тому

    Therapy not always the answer

  • @jacobc9221
    @jacobc9221 Рік тому

    If you go to a good therapist, they'll tell you whether or not that guilt is valid. And if it is, fix it. Otherwise, you're supposed to metabolize it.
    You still gotta find a good therapist though.

  • @teckyify
    @teckyify Рік тому

    It's interesting to what kind of gymnastics people in the comments go to find exceptional cases where this doesn't apply. Yes, if you try hard enough you will find exceptions but that's not the usual experience and function of guilt. For the rest, we have therapy.

  • @Spades20XX
    @Spades20XX Рік тому +15

    BLOCK EM! 😂

  • @TRAN_S
    @TRAN_S Рік тому

    Is there one where he talks about shame?

  • @Johnnystiletto-ri8ht
    @Johnnystiletto-ri8ht Рік тому +5

    Guilt kept religon alive for thousands of years...

  • @ark_3283
    @ark_3283 Рік тому

    “Virtue is noble behaviour, and sin is that which creates doubt and you do not like people to know about it."
    -The Prophet peace be upon him

  • @sunshinelizard1
    @sunshinelizard1 2 місяці тому

    Yes, but perhaps the therapy is valuable when someone feels guilty when they shouldn't feel guilty, that "guilt" was foisted on them by their parents, that sometimes blaming oneself is safer than accepting the full extent of how much the abusers didn't care about the impacts to you - blaming oneself in a twisted way feels safer. Unfortunately, that sets up some wiring that isn't healthy for life.

  • @sonias9722
    @sonias9722 Рік тому

    But maybe it would actually be more beneficial to learn to silence the guilt, so that you can keep doing the thing that made you feel guilt if it was something that benefits you 🤔

  • @FrontierThesisYU
    @FrontierThesisYU 6 місяців тому

    What episode is this from, plz? Can someone lmk

  • @abhigail
    @abhigail Рік тому +1

    where can i find the full video of this short? i would like to watch it full

  • @JustPSNTrophies
    @JustPSNTrophies Місяць тому

    The difference Is. When you feel guilt knowing you have nothing to feel guilty about

  • @aljonserna5598
    @aljonserna5598 Рік тому

    And so not listening to your guilt and taking actions that makes things any worse than they already are, is the unforgivable sin against the Holy Spirit

  • @amaas211
    @amaas211 Рік тому +1

    Wtf do you do with depression? Get healthy? I'm too tired from the depression.

  • @PJ19596
    @PJ19596 Рік тому

    Uhm, I'd say guilt doesn't necessarily stem from doing the wrong thing, but rarher from doing something that is counterintuitive to what was expected from you. Like doing something that is viewed as wrong IN YOUR CULTURE. I think that guilt is oftent culture-bound, ya know?

  • @MarissaCarterArtist
    @MarissaCarterArtist Рік тому

    Paradigm imprisonment, robot v moral v fall of man

  • @Onthe9thlife3730
    @Onthe9thlife3730 Рік тому +22

    * exists *
    * Gets yelled at and punished for being human with normal human needs *
    * Guilt for being alive and not "human" enough *
    I'd like a refund plz.

    • @Onthe9thlife3730
      @Onthe9thlife3730 Рік тому +5

      @@Dimitris_Half oh honey, how does a young undiagnosed autistic/ADHD child, completely dependent on neurotypical parents then the schooling system adults, then the supposed employers, stand up for themselves?
      Even now that I know, as a burnt out adult (to the point of pushing through burnout that my health is completely destroyed and not able to recover), my agency as an individual is constantly rejected and belittled. Discrimination is real, it's deliberate. I'd love to stop feeling guilty about it. I can never be "human" enough and in the "correct" way for humanity.

    • @user-on6db4rf4s
      @user-on6db4rf4s Рік тому

      ​@@Dimitris_Halfhard to do that when your abusers are your parents, teachers and basically every authority figure around you for the first 14 years of your life
      No friends either

    • @user-on6db4rf4s
      @user-on6db4rf4s Рік тому +2

      ​@@Onthe9thlife3730I feel you. It's really a feeling normal people don't understand.

    • @wavy6470
      @wavy6470 Рік тому +4

      ​@@Dimitris_Halfor maybe you should stop playing an armchair therapist here, you're displaying a serious lack of empathy and understanding.
      Many people were cruelly punished for standing up for themselves and it is the exact same source where this unwarranted guilt comes from.

    • @Onthe9thlife3730
      @Onthe9thlife3730 Рік тому +1

      @@Dimitris_Half at this point you're an obvious troll.

  • @annemariebelcher6931
    @annemariebelcher6931 Рік тому

    You didn't cover when we feel guilty over other people's reactions to us speaking our truth or setting healthy boundaries. 😢

  • @arrowssspirt
    @arrowssspirt 10 днів тому

    but why do I feel guilt after years

  • @mikepanchuk2456
    @mikepanchuk2456 Рік тому

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰Amen Beautiful Brother. Therapist confuse us often even more because they offer physical solutions to Spiritual problems. That's why I go for advice Straight to the Father in Jesus Name and search for a word of wisdom in his book to find solutions for my problems. And skip ineffective expensive therapy band aid that doesn't target the roots of an issue but treats the symptom. Just like Pharma care.😉🔥🙌☝🏻🌞🤗

  • @aline9723
    @aline9723 Рік тому

    the gift of guilt 😉

  • @alvaromoe
    @alvaromoe Рік тому +1

    Nobody goes to therapy because they got angry and blocked someone, you go because, for example, you can't control that anger, and that lack of control is affecting you. Of course you know this, which makes me wonder why do you so often paint a straw man of these arguments.

    • @alexbertucci5238
      @alexbertucci5238 Рік тому +2

      Go watch the full video. I think you're misunderstanding him. There's no straw-manning happening here.

    • @alvaromoe
      @alvaromoe Рік тому

      Hi @@alexbertucci5238! Fair enough. However, if he posts this he is taking himself out of context, it's not like I'm cherry picking.

    • @alvaromoe
      @alvaromoe Рік тому +1

      @@Dimitris_Half speaking of mismanaged anger :D
      Come on man, you can come up with something more elaborate and respectful than "do X, then talk" :)

    • @waterlemon3885
      @waterlemon3885 Рік тому

      ​@@Dimitris_Halfstop telling people what to do. Don't talk.

  • @sketchflix6425
    @sketchflix6425 Рік тому

  • @hydrangeadragon
    @hydrangeadragon Рік тому

    this is too simplistic

  • @IDoNotAndWillNot
    @IDoNotAndWillNot Рік тому

    To people who are socios and psychos.. This wont apply

  • @chandra2519
    @chandra2519 Рік тому

    🩷

  • @drpoop-iz3xf
    @drpoop-iz3xf Рік тому

    Ooooohhhh

  • @fixjng
    @fixjng Рік тому

    hi

  • @carrotfacts
    @carrotfacts Рік тому +1

    It’s just an emotion, it’s got a purpose, no need to figure it out or attach a judgement or label.

    • @joe2254
      @joe2254 Рік тому

      @patipatino29facts 😂💯

    • @carrotfacts
      @carrotfacts Рік тому

      @patipatino29 uh oh, spotted the over-thinker

  • @klutzkoady4996
    @klutzkoady4996 Рік тому

    Yo

  • @urcaalerwi746
    @urcaalerwi746 Рік тому

    2nd

  • @Freakazoid12345
    @Freakazoid12345 Рік тому +4

    Hilarious video because HealthyGamerGG discord mods support you know what towards children.