I’m from one of the ultra orthodox Jewish communities. These interviews heal me. Leaving feels so isolating but hearing about others who left makes me feel so much less alone
You’re definitely not alone. Thank you for sharing. If you’d ever be interested in sharing your story, please reach out. Cultstoconsciousness@gmail.com ❤️
@@jennifercornman1291modesty. After a woman marries, her hair is supposed to be just for her husband, only he rarely sees it and it’s usually cut so short at that point, it’s not very attractive anyways. I’m also from one of those communities and left..
Regarding birth care the amount of times as an ICU nurse we used to give blood to Jehovah’s Witnesses mother’s post birth in the middle of the night after their husbands had gone home was so frequent bc while they love their faith, they preferred their lives and being their for the children that they’d just given birth to was more. Like they would refuse blood at other times of their lives especially once their children were old enough to care for themselves, but they recognised the danger t time of birth & when their kids were older but they able to disassociate from their own lives at that point (btw it was only done in ICU bc of the size of the hospital I was in & of course bc by the time husband had left the mothers lives were in true danger after the amount of haemorrhaging. Then of course in the morning the husbands would return and say see I told you she didn’t need blood 🙄 the amount of miracles that occurs at hospitals once men are out of the picture is truly amazing
This was so fascinating. Every time a guest comes to share their story we get a little more information a little more insight a little more perspective.
Yes! It’s so interesting the way our guests make up the pieces to a puzzle and I feel like a detective trying to find the bigger picture while honoring the nuance of each situation.
40:45 this whole story made me tear up, it’s so unfair and I’m SO SO mad that there are still women going through things like this. Sara you are so strong and I’m sure your story is going to help many in the same situation. ❤
It's just so wrong & infuriating that any adult would be in a position to "require" permission from another person (the rabbi, spouse) for their own medical decisions & treatment. Eff these power hungry freaks! That's not about "God's will." It's a load of 💩! Medical staff needs to be trained & expected to get consent from the patient. This should be a minimum requirement.
I totally agree!!!!!! She is the one living in her body, she should decide!!! It made me so mad that she had to go through more time in labor with the epidural wearing off because the husband didn't want to bother the rabbi!!!
I don’t know anyone in my community that asks a rabbi about epidurals in childbirth. Personally I never had one and don’t want anyone sticking anything into my spine. I have had pitocin. Without having to ask a rabbi.
I live near in Atlantic City, but I’m very familiar with the Lakewood/ Tom’s River area (I work at Joint Base McGuire/ Dix/ Lakehurst, and my mother in law is from exit 109. The women look so scared or “dead inside”. I’m glad Dr. Glass is out and free.
Thank you for sharing your story!! I have three sisters and mom that I don't have a relationship with. As you said, "I'm too far gone" from the LDS religion and tried for many years. I took matters into my own hands and said I'm done. It's powerful to stand for your truth no matter what others, especially those who are supposed to be closest to you, say or think about you. Your story is such an important one and really appreciate it. ❤❤❤
Im a pretty modest person but when I had my babies all bets were off! I cannot imagine being worried about being covered up while delivering and my husband or family not being in the room?? I would feel more exposed then in that paper gown! I feel so deeply sad for her. Birth can be a beautiful experience and they took that from her
Amazing woman and she’s leading a good healthy life. Love to see it. I am familiar with living a strict religious life and the emotinal journey is the most difficult thing to digest. It’s so intangible yet overtaking. It takes so much courage to be your own woman in the midst of religious mess and harm. Thank you to the both of you for this discussion.
love her suggestion that we not just assume people are following all the rules. Her idea that the nurse could have asked her if she wanted the medication anyway on the DL makes me wonder if I have made assumptions like that with my own clients and not given them the choices they deserved. Love the perspective. Great video as always.
"because you walked out in the middle of the film", funny line, but also an indication of the kind of relationship mom and daughter have, which is so amazing after what she went through.
I had hoped doctors were better by now. In the 80s I was a twenty-something young woman who wanted my tubes tied. I never wanted children. My doctor wouldn’t because I “might change my mind.” Spoiler alert - I did not!
Another fantastic interview, thank you so much for doing this! Sara: I am so glad that you are now living the authentic life that is truly you, and that your children are doing so well. Congratulations to you. I can’t wait to read your book, and I will be on the lookout for the book about the “Messy Middle”! Shelise, you are the best interviewer ever. I was so glad to hear you explain why it is so common for people to fall into an addiction when they leave a high control life. Thank you so much to both of you!
This is SO true!! Even coming from regular society (raised catholic but not really practicing), it is expected of you to have a boyfriend, get married, have children, a big house, a dog and send happy Christmas cards every year…. Until you meet THAT person. I thought I was STRAIGHT until I met my now wife, because of how repressed my feeling were. (Imagine the shock). But I’m the happiest I have ever been. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m a LGBTQ+ female doctor with tattoos too! You rock. :)
All the married lesbians I know are either divorced or one is transitioning to being male. Divorce rates and domestic violence is very high for lesbian couples. As is loneliness levels and dissatisfaction with life specifically related to sexuality and generally due to social isolation while aging. Lesbians also have very high infidelity rates. May your happiness come without all of this pain and you return to the church where you are unconditionally loved while turning from sin.
I've never missed an episode, and this was by miles my favorite❤ I struggle with addiction myself, and this is the first time I've seen a survivor say or admit to this. She was bright, thoughtful and insightful. ❤❤
I live in an ultra orthodox community and I absolutely love my life. I use birth control when I want it, I gave birth with ptocin and an epidural, I went to college and practice medicine. I believe that when it’s done right, religion is beautiful. I believe that when things are taken to an extreme (as in her community), it can do real harm. It’s all about nuance and finding an appropriate balance. That being said, not everyone needs to be rescued :)
Listen. I was raised in a liberal-leaning Episcopal church. I grew up knowing gay people and understanding that they live normal lives like everyone else. I was a teenager in the open-minded 90s. And it was STILL extremely difficult to come to terms with being gay myself. I can only imagine what that process is like within the context of a high-control religion. Dr. Glass's courage is amazing!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you Shelise for having this platform. I just downloaded Sara's audiobook. You both are a strong, brave women. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope that if anyone is struggling, can hear this and find the courage to speak and act for their own well-being.
Such a fascinating story, I’m so proud of Sara she has survived so much trauma and the way she told her life experiences was compelling. I truly wish her so much happiness and peace in her life and the same to her 3 children, although it sounds like her children will succeed because they have a mother like Sara ❤
Oh my goodness this was such an incredible treat! I read kissing girls on Shabbos, or rather listened to Sara on audible and it was an experience that I don't have the words to describe! I am beyond excited and delighted that she's writing another book! So looking forward to read it 😍
I appreciate her pointing out that the Messy Middle can continue indefinitely; I long for a neat After shot of my departure from the first half of life, but often feel stuck in the Messy Middle. I'm very inspired and motivated by this conversation, in particular. Still striving, Thank you!
I use to work in Lakewood as a nurse. I use to always advocate for my patients and thankful for progressed Rabbis. I am Reform Jewish. Breaks my heart no one spoke up for you during medical needs.
Oh no! This really hurts to hear. I was forced into learned helplessness by my Munchausen mother, then discarded to the street at 15. I knew sweet fuck all about almost everything and am lucky not to have been killed immediately by a predator or scooped into a cult. By 19, I was totally battle scarred. I felt a million years old. But I was just a baby. Hearing about another queer person being sent to the wolves like that, especially one who is a lesbian and therefore repulsed by the D, having to be married to a man and because she wasn't given any sexual support, taking a miscarriage as God's anger for craving her girlfriend? Brutal. I'm so sorry. By 19, I had years of street life and an abortion under my belt. I couldn't have cared for a baby. By 23, I had a girlfriend I failed to recognize as one because I generally ended up with men and back then there were confusing subculture rules delegitimizing bisexuality. I hurt her really badly by being confused and dismissing our relationship. I hate all this wretched pain and loss and my heart absolutely keens for this 19 year old baby, losing her baby, while denying the love that she needed to heal. I'm so sorry for the girlfriend, too. How heartbreaking! Consensual squeezes to you both. All my aged queer love!
Wow! Thank you for sharing all of that. Sending love to YOU too! If you’re ever interested in sharing here, I’d love to hear more of your story. We have a link to our guest application in our about section ❤️
I grew up in a hassidic community and developed a deep appreciation for the interviews conducted, as they serve as a source of solace and solidarity. It is comforting to realize that I am not the sole individual who has navigated the system and ultimately decided to depart. Acknowledging the inherent challenges associated with leaving, I extend my utmost respect and admiration to those who have embarked on this transformative journey and emerged as courageous individuals.
I met my first boyfriend when I was eighteen in college. It was almost love at first sight. My mother always equated sex before marriage as terrible as becoming a drug addict. This was 1972. My boyfriend knew I had never even kissed a boy before. He was so patient and gentle. This was during the height of recreational sex and one night stands and no commitments . My boyfriend was so thoughtful that when we finally had intercourse it didn’t hurt at all. I didn’t realize my hyman had broken until I woke up and saw blood on the sheets. I was so embarrassed I frantically cleaned up everything while my boyfriend was asleep in a different bed (he only had a twin bed but there was an extra bed in his suite.) That was over fifty years ago and I remember the live I felt for him and how attracted I was to him. In the end, after three years he broke my heart. He only got married when he was fifty yrs old. After he broke up with me I only went out with guys who loved me more than I loved them. Until I met my second husband who I also instantly feel in love with. When you’re in love it makes a huge difference
Sara, thank you for sharing your story. I commend you for your courage and honesty. I look forward to reading your book and the second book too, about your recovery. Shelise, thanks for a very powerful interview, as always.
I love these talks. No matter how hard they are to hear the endings always bring hope and love and lightness. So many of your guests have been driven to great places by their desire to live to their full potential and it is so cool to see! I'm sitting here trying to think how many guests you've had on with Dr. in front of their name. Amazing!
I live near this community and am also a social worker. The problem with offering members of thia community choice is that we are then sued for antisemitism. True Story
Im from this community/ its not necessarily true. Most kids are raised in a warm lovely home .. theres abuse all over .. and i wont deny that theres none in out community bit its a small percentage which unfortunately is not easy to notice @christinabeck9316
What a journey from captivity to freedom. So many twists and turns. So much suffering and also awakening. I am glad you Sara was able to find yourself and your tribe and that your kids are with you and live a life in which they also can be themselves in full. Sara, you are leaving a great legacy in your kids's lives, a legacy of courage, self-love, truth, empathy, and sensibility. Thank you for your very honest testimonial. Your story is not an easy one to express. You are a brave woman! I have learned so much from the human experiences you shared so eloquently. Bless your heart! It was very beautiful that, in spite of your many struggles inside the community, you still talk about some people you met with respect and affection. That is great you do not carry any bitterness. It is another way of staying free of heavy loads which do not belong to you, after all. I want to read your book and learn more from your story. Thank you! It was a privilege to listen to you. It touched me very much.
Stories like this are so heartbreaking. I am Jewish and to be honest with you the ultra-orthodox have always scared me in the same way my Catholic grandmother scared me. Why would I sign up for a religion that perceives me as less than and having to seek permission for living my true self. Nah I think I'll stick to my radical feminist version of Judaism. Just put the book on my TBR shelf.
I cannot imagine the guilt trips imposed oon the women. What a heavy, unforgiving load to carry. I wonder how these men would feel if the tables were turned? How would they feel not being allowed to receive medication for pain? How awful!
Can we talk about how much Sara is glowing?! You can really tell she's living life to the fullest now and hearing her story almost brought me to tears a few times. I've been raised in a very catholic household - not particulary high control but strict and very toxic nonetheless. The stigma around queerness was so high and when i found out i was queer i felt very ashamed... I'm 30 now and i'm finally exploring a romantic relationship with another woman. Never thought that would happen honestly. 😅 I couldn't be happier but it has been a hard path to walk on. Hearing Sara talk about her experience was so relatable and therapeutic... I'm so greatful that this channel exists. ✨💖🌈
I love the title of this book. Her story about her wedding night, reminded me of Marie Antoinettes wedding night. Men can just get a divorce, No problem! She is still unable to live her own life. Prison! And of course a knee or elbow will cause men to go crazy. It's the women's fault. Same culty scene.
Im Jewish orthodox -masorti but from a reform background and this has connected with my estranged lesbian non binary trans self so much, you are so fucking cool. You saying im so gay made me bounce as well as your bi daughter story! I can't wait to have this as my next shabbat read x Edit to add, much solidarity to those staying or leaving hassidic communities, added my fram e of reference because I know we come from different places x
Is there a high rate of suicide among women in these high control groups? I only ask because I have such compassion for these women. Her speaking about addiction and her chosen sober family at the end touched me.
@@CultstoConsciousness Yes, that is a great question. I am Jewish but not Hasidic. Suicide is taboo and a disgrace in Judaism. Perhaps that is why you never hear of religious Jews commiting suicide . Perhaps it is happening but covered up. On the other hand, the secular press abounds with stories about "off the derech" Jews who kill themselves after leaving the religion. Groups like Footsteps have done wonders to help those who leave and prevent their suicides.
I am Jewish and Hasidic and I can remember 1 suicide attempt of a young guy, not more than that. Have in mind that some stuff she said are against Jewish law, like not knowing till 48 hours before her wedding about sex... I am married, to a man my parents suggested, but I made the decision to marry, happily married, we have a great relationship as well as intimate relationship. We have 2 kids, and never has anyone put pressure on me to do something I don't want, or the opposite... And we are in contact with a rabbi to ask questions about Judaism. I was shocked to listen to this interview, and wish her all the best!
So she was basicly a married single mom. She had to do everything. Provide finically be the breadwinner and be the primary parent. That dynamic rarely works. The parent doing it all eventually starts resenting the other one. I had 3 under 3 and can’t imagine having to do all that.
Amazing interview. Fortunately, I never allowed any religion to ruin my life, influence my thinking or control me in any way. Can't wait to read her book.
Happy birthday Sara❤️🎉🎁 Thank you for speaking up and guiding others. I wish you to find a caring partner if you haven't found her yet. I would like to get in to touch with you to talk and share mutually. I was raised catholic. It wasn't as strict and sheltered as what you experienced but the expectations were high. I'm also a lesbian who hosted conferences about homosexuality in my 20's. I came out to thousands but had not told my parents. The fear of hurting and deceiving them was too strong. This was many years ago. I'm now on my own and still semi-closeted because I would lose my license to practice if the medical community knew I'm gay. I've seen it happen. I'm grateful for all I have and who I've become. Feel free to reach out if so inclined. Take care, Sara. 😉
Thank you for sharing. I'm from a different group with similar cultural barriers. I left a marriage, so lost my job, friends, and numerous relatives. Also completing qualifications to achieve my dream job. Also, I am writing a book about my experience. Just wanted to say, you rock❤❤❤ I'd love to collaborate about our different yet similar cultural and group barriers and how they've impacted our lives. Think it would be educational👍
I’m from one of the ultra orthodox Jewish communities. These interviews heal me. Leaving feels so isolating but hearing about others who left makes me feel so much less alone
You’re definitely not alone. Thank you for sharing. If you’d ever be interested in sharing your story, please reach out. Cultstoconsciousness@gmail.com ❤️
I’m wondering why you have to wear wigs? What is the purpose of?
So God can't see your uncoverd head@jennifercornman1291
@@jennifercornman1291modesty. After a woman marries, her hair is supposed to be just for her husband, only he rarely sees it and it’s usually cut so short at that point, it’s not very attractive anyways.
I’m also from one of those communities and left..
@ thank you. You should think about telling your story. I would love to hear your story.
Kissing Girls on Shabbat is the most kickass title 😩💅
❤
Kickass book too!
I thought so too 😂
Yes, I love the title ❤
Great conversation. Dr. Glass tells her story so honestly and clearly, and her voice is so soothing, I imagine she's a great therapist.
Regarding birth care the amount of times as an ICU nurse we used to give blood to Jehovah’s Witnesses mother’s post birth in the middle of the night after their husbands had gone home was so frequent bc while they love their faith, they preferred their lives and being their for the children that they’d just given birth to was more. Like they would refuse blood at other times of their lives especially once their children were old enough to care for themselves, but they recognised the danger t time of birth & when their kids were older but they able to disassociate from their own lives at that point (btw it was only done in ICU bc of the size of the hospital I was in & of course bc by the time husband had left the mothers lives were in true danger after the amount of haemorrhaging. Then of course in the morning the husbands would return and say see I told you she didn’t need blood 🙄 the amount of miracles that occurs at hospitals once men are out of the picture is truly amazing
Can we please leave this hymen myth behind? Not everyone has one, for some people it "breaks" by itself, gently, naturally without you even knowing.
I wasn’t aware of that
It is 2024, almost 2025!!!!! How is this myth still believed??
Yeah, and I think the hymen exists so that, when you're a baby pooping yourself, you won't get poop in your vagina. It's obsolete post-infancy.
And some people, like me, have a nearly imperforate hymen, and need surgery in order to have sex.
I think i never had one
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
I’d buy that as a bumper sticker.
This was so fascinating. Every time a guest comes to share their story we get a little more information a little more insight a little more perspective.
Yes! It’s so interesting the way our guests make up the pieces to a puzzle and I feel like a detective trying to find the bigger picture while honoring the nuance of each situation.
Brings me delerious joy that Sara was able to find her true self and true joy. You go girl!
40:45 this whole story made me tear up, it’s so unfair and I’m SO SO mad that there are still women going through things like this. Sara you are so strong and I’m sure your story is going to help many in the same situation. ❤
It's just so wrong & infuriating that any adult would be in a position to "require" permission from another person (the rabbi, spouse) for their own medical decisions & treatment. Eff these power hungry freaks! That's not about "God's will." It's a load of 💩!
Medical staff needs to be trained & expected to get consent from the patient. This should be a minimum requirement.
I totally agree!!!!!! She is the one living in her body, she should decide!!! It made me so mad that she had to go through more time in labor with the epidural wearing off because the husband didn't want to bother the rabbi!!!
I don’t know anyone in my community that asks a rabbi about epidurals in childbirth. Personally I never had one and don’t want anyone sticking anything into my spine. I have had pitocin. Without having to ask a rabbi.
Yea thats what project 25 aims for...
USA is 🤏 close to having a real Handmaids Tale
This! The very reason why women's health should not be decided by old men!
@@More13Feenplease stop making this about politics....
As someone from Brick, NJ and is very familiar with the surrounding communities of Lakewood and Toms River, I’m so happy that Dr. Glass is thriving.
I live near in Atlantic City, but I’m very familiar with the Lakewood/ Tom’s River area (I work at Joint Base McGuire/ Dix/ Lakehurst, and my mother in law is from exit 109.
The women look so scared or “dead inside”.
I’m glad Dr. Glass is out and free.
Im one of the women that live in Lakewood. I am thriving, fullfilled, and we lead a happy, fulfilling life. I dont feel dead inside.
Oh I am so excited she is going to write a book about the recovery! I think we need more of those.
Sorry you went through this thank you for sharing your experience and spreading awareness ❤️
This was such a thoughtful, interesting discussion, as usual for this channel. Thanks to you both. 💐😊
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you for sharing your story!! I have three sisters and mom that I don't have a relationship with. As you said, "I'm too far gone" from the LDS religion and tried for many years. I took matters into my own hands and said I'm done. It's powerful to stand for your truth no matter what others, especially those who are supposed to be closest to you, say or think about you. Your story is such an important one and really appreciate it. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing that. Absolutely heartbreaking that they aren’t able to see you for your heart and not your beliefs or lack thereof. ❤️
Im a pretty modest person but when I had my babies all bets were off! I cannot imagine being worried about being covered up while delivering and my husband or family not being in the room?? I would feel more exposed then in that paper gown! I feel so deeply sad for her. Birth can be a beautiful experience and they took that from her
What a raw and incredible interview. This one hit harrrrrrd.
Amazing woman and she’s leading a good healthy life. Love to see it. I am familiar with living a strict religious life and the emotinal journey is the most difficult thing to digest. It’s so intangible yet overtaking. It takes so much courage to be your own woman in the midst of religious mess and harm. Thank you to the both of you for this discussion.
It’s such a joy to listen to Sara talking, how insightful and calm and inspiring she is. I am sure she is an excellent therapist ❤
love her suggestion that we not just assume people are following all the rules. Her idea that the nurse could have asked her if she wanted the medication anyway on the DL makes me wonder if I have made assumptions like that with my own clients and not given them the choices they deserved. Love the perspective. Great video as always.
"because you walked out in the middle of the film", funny line, but also an indication of the kind of relationship mom and daughter have, which is so amazing after what she went through.
Agreed!
I am a 25yo secular woman, my doctor also told me they wouldn’t fix something that happened to my vulva until after my next kid. We deserve better!
That is so beyond crazy to me to hear this 🫣🙏❤️
That’s awful, I’m so sorry to hear this. Get another doctor!
Find another doctor immediately. They don't have to, but someone will be willing to
I had hoped doctors were better by now. In the 80s I was a twenty-something young woman who wanted my tubes tied. I never wanted children. My doctor wouldn’t because I “might change my mind.”
Spoiler alert - I did not!
It sounds like theres a part of the story missing? Otherwise: A shame!
Another fantastic interview, thank you so much for doing this! Sara: I am so glad that you are now living the authentic life that is truly you, and that your children are doing so well. Congratulations to you. I can’t wait to read your book, and I will be on the lookout for the book about the “Messy Middle”! Shelise, you are the best interviewer ever. I was so glad to hear you explain why it is so common for people to fall into an addiction when they leave a high control life. Thank you so much to both of you!
Thank you so much for your story, Dr. Sarah 🎉❤
This is SO true!! Even coming from regular society (raised catholic but not really practicing), it is expected of you to have a boyfriend, get married, have children, a big house, a dog and send happy Christmas cards every year…. Until you meet THAT person. I thought I was STRAIGHT until I met my now wife, because of how repressed my feeling were. (Imagine the shock). But I’m the happiest I have ever been. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m a LGBTQ+ female doctor with tattoos too! You rock. :)
Love this ❤️🙌
😊😊
😊😊😊
All the married lesbians I know are either divorced or one is transitioning to being male. Divorce rates and domestic violence is very high for lesbian couples. As is loneliness levels and dissatisfaction with life specifically related to sexuality and generally due to social isolation while aging. Lesbians also have very high infidelity rates. May your happiness come without all of this pain and you return to the church where you are unconditionally loved while turning from sin.
@@louis-vd3uroh be quiet
I've never missed an episode, and this was by miles my favorite❤ I struggle with addiction myself, and this is the first time I've seen a survivor say or admit to this. She was bright, thoughtful and insightful. ❤❤
Liked. Shared. Commented. Sent the algorithm to rescue everyone from ultra orthodox communities.
I live in an ultra orthodox community and I absolutely love my life. I use birth control when I want it, I gave birth with ptocin and an epidural, I went to college and practice medicine. I believe that when it’s done right, religion is beautiful. I believe that when things are taken to an extreme (as in her community), it can do real harm. It’s all about nuance and finding an appropriate balance. That being said, not everyone needs to be rescued :)
Thank you for sharing this it's fascinating to learn these things and also can be heartbreaking. I bought and ordered the audiobook immediately.
I can’t believe that was only 1.20 hr long! Far out! So deep. Such a good interview
Listen. I was raised in a liberal-leaning Episcopal church. I grew up knowing gay people and understanding that they live normal lives like everyone else. I was a teenager in the open-minded 90s. And it was STILL extremely difficult to come to terms with being gay myself. I can only imagine what that process is like within the context of a high-control religion. Dr. Glass's courage is amazing!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you Shelise for having this platform. I just downloaded Sara's audiobook. You both are a strong, brave women. ❤
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope that if anyone is struggling, can hear this and find the courage to speak and act for their own well-being.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sara! And congrats on breaking free of the oppression of your previous life.
Dr. Sara is a beautiful person .Thank you for sharing
Thank you, Sara and Shelise and Jonathan for sharing this beautiful video, I really enjoyed it and learned from it. Can't wait for part 2 :)
Such a fascinating story, I’m so proud of Sara she has survived so much trauma and the way she told her life experiences was compelling. I truly wish her so much happiness and peace in her life and the same to her 3 children, although it sounds like her children will succeed because they have a mother like Sara ❤
This was just brilliant on so many levels. Thank you!
I just finished watching this video and immediately ordered the book off of amazon.
Brilliant interview, very important topic!! Thanks for sharing your story with us ❤
I like your final words of wisdom to not be part of the problem but be part of the solution by letting someone know they can talk to you.
This is so good, so inspiring. Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable, your life is a light of hope for others. Sending love.
Excellent program! The mutual engagement kept it moving forward, and the time flew by. Thanks.
Oh my goodness this was such an incredible treat! I read kissing girls on Shabbos, or rather listened to Sara on audible and it was an experience that I don't have the words to describe! I am beyond excited and delighted that she's writing another book! So looking forward to read it 😍
I appreciate her pointing out that the Messy Middle can continue indefinitely; I long for a neat After shot of my departure from the first half of life, but often feel stuck in the Messy Middle. I'm very inspired and motivated by this conversation, in particular. Still striving, Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️
I use to work in Lakewood as a nurse. I use to always advocate for my patients and thankful for progressed Rabbis. I am Reform Jewish. Breaks my heart no one spoke up for you during medical needs.
This is so fascinating. Thank you Sara for being so vulnerable and honest on your journey.
Ordering the book for my library!❤
I just bought your book and I can't wait to read it!! Thank you for sharing your story💕
Thank you! I appreciate how this one focused a little more on the female/ education, but I love all of your videos.
Excellent interview. Learned a lot!
Oh no! This really hurts to hear.
I was forced into learned helplessness by my Munchausen mother, then discarded to the street at 15. I knew sweet fuck all about almost everything and am lucky not to have been killed immediately by a predator or scooped into a cult.
By 19, I was totally battle scarred. I felt a million years old.
But I was just a baby. Hearing about another queer person being sent to the wolves like that, especially one who is a lesbian and therefore repulsed by the D, having to be married to a man and because she wasn't given any sexual support, taking a miscarriage as God's anger for craving her girlfriend?
Brutal. I'm so sorry. By 19, I had years of street life and an abortion under my belt. I couldn't have cared for a baby.
By 23, I had a girlfriend I failed to recognize as one because I generally ended up with men and back then there were confusing subculture rules delegitimizing bisexuality. I hurt her really badly by being confused and dismissing our relationship.
I hate all this wretched pain and loss and my heart absolutely keens for this 19 year old baby, losing her baby, while denying the love that she needed to heal.
I'm so sorry for the girlfriend, too. How heartbreaking!
Consensual squeezes to you both. All my aged queer love!
Wow! Thank you for sharing all of that. Sending love to YOU too! If you’re ever interested in sharing here, I’d love to hear more of your story. We have a link to our guest application in our about section ❤️
I grew up in a hassidic community and developed a deep appreciation for the interviews conducted, as they serve as a source of solace and solidarity. It is comforting to realize that I am not the sole individual who has navigated the system and ultimately decided to depart. Acknowledging the inherent challenges associated with leaving, I extend my utmost respect and admiration to those who have embarked on this transformative journey and emerged as courageous individuals.
I met my first boyfriend when I was eighteen in college. It was almost love at first sight. My mother always equated sex before marriage as terrible as becoming a drug addict. This was 1972. My boyfriend knew I had never even kissed a boy before. He was so patient and gentle. This was during the height of recreational sex and one night stands and no commitments . My boyfriend was so thoughtful that when we finally had intercourse it didn’t hurt at all. I didn’t realize my hyman had broken until I woke up and saw blood on the sheets. I was so embarrassed I frantically cleaned up everything while my boyfriend was asleep in a different bed (he only had a twin bed but there was an extra bed in his suite.) That was over fifty years ago and I remember the live I felt for him and how attracted I was to him. In the end, after three years he broke my heart. He only got married when he was fifty yrs old. After he broke up with me I only went out with guys who loved me more than I loved them. Until I met my second husband who I also instantly feel in love with. When you’re in love it makes a huge difference
I cried when she talked about hwr miscarriage. I wanted to go back in time and just hug and comfort that young girl.
Sara, thank you for sharing your story. I commend you for your courage and honesty. I look forward to reading your book and the second book too, about your recovery. Shelise, thanks for a very powerful interview, as always.
Thank you, Batya!
I love these talks. No matter how hard they are to hear the endings always bring hope and love and lightness. So many of your guests have been driven to great places by their desire to live to their full potential and it is so cool to see! I'm sitting here trying to think how many guests you've had on with Dr. in front of their name. Amazing!
What a great success you are, Sarah! What a great story of finding yourself!
I love you as a person. I am so proud you did this interview. Where I grew up. I grew up around a lot of Orthodox Jewish people.
Shout out to the strong survivor spirit from Atlantic County NJ to Dr. Glass. She’s so strong and brave.
Watching this validated some of my experiences as a second class person for being a woman in a similar sect that i have left. Thanks frp sharing ❤
I live near this community and am also a social worker. The problem with offering members of thia community choice is that we are then sued for antisemitism. True Story
As someone who left, very true. They believe theirs is the only way and you will be looked at as evil for meddling.
The abuse and neglect that goes on is so sad. Their teachers are not certified or trained to spot it. It gets swept under the rug.
It’s not every where it’s in maybe in 5%
@@christinabeck9316.
Im from this community/ its not necessarily true. Most kids are raised in a warm lovely home .. theres abuse all over .. and i wont deny that theres none in out community bit its a small percentage which unfortunately is not easy to notice @christinabeck9316
What a journey from captivity to freedom. So many twists and turns. So much suffering and also awakening. I am glad you Sara was able to find yourself and your tribe and that your kids are with you and live a life in which they also can be themselves in full. Sara, you are leaving a great legacy in your kids's lives, a legacy of courage, self-love, truth, empathy, and sensibility. Thank you for your very honest testimonial. Your story is not an easy one to express. You are a brave woman! I have learned so much from the human experiences you shared so eloquently. Bless your heart! It was very beautiful that, in spite of your many struggles inside the community, you still talk about some people you met with respect and affection. That is great you do not carry any bitterness. It is another way of staying free of heavy loads which do not belong to you, after all. I want to read your book and learn more from your story. Thank you! It was a privilege to listen to you. It touched me very much.
Stories like this are so heartbreaking. I am Jewish and to be honest with you the ultra-orthodox have always scared me in the same way my Catholic grandmother scared me. Why would I sign up for a religion that perceives me as less than and having to seek permission for living my true self. Nah I think I'll stick to my radical feminist version of Judaism. Just put the book on my TBR shelf.
What are you doing to effectively help the women in Hasidic Jewish communities?
Fantastic Interview ❤ I’m buying the book!
As usual, fantastic interview, thanks to both of you
❤❤
I cannot imagine the guilt trips imposed oon the women. What a heavy, unforgiving load to carry. I wonder how these men would feel if the tables were turned? How would they feel not being allowed to receive medication for pain? How awful!
سيشعرون بالجنون سيفقدون عقولهم حتماً
actually, judaism encourages healthy respectful marriages, and if a woman is really being abused, she is also encouraged to divorce.
I have been truly captivated by this story, I hope to her from Sara again in the future. Thank you for sharing.
Wow Sara - what a courageous woman you are!! Bravo to you 👏🏻
Just ordered your book on Audible ❤
Can we talk about how much Sara is glowing?! You can really tell she's living life to the fullest now and hearing her story almost brought me to tears a few times. I've been raised in a very catholic household - not particulary high control but strict and very toxic nonetheless. The stigma around queerness was so high and when i found out i was queer i felt very ashamed... I'm 30 now and i'm finally exploring a romantic relationship with another woman. Never thought that would happen honestly. 😅 I couldn't be happier but it has been a hard path to walk on. Hearing Sara talk about her experience was so relatable and therapeutic... I'm so greatful that this channel exists. ✨💖🌈
I’m so glad you got your PhD. Brava! Living your own true self.
Cults are so bizarre and sick.
Looking Beautiful today . Been missig your show . And Thank you to your guess.
Thank you! Getting back on track with more interviews 😁
Thank you, Sara, for sharing your story. It’s going to take me a while to digest everything you’ve shared. This is a world I know nothing about.
Commenting to support your amazing pod. Thank you wonderful, brave Dr. Glass.
I loved Beatrice’s episodes too!
I had no idea so many leave the community. I live near but not in Hasidic community. I would love to hear other interviews from this sect.
She is literally naming towns around me!
SO sorry you had to give birth alone young lady. Thank you for speaking out.
One of the most meaningful insights, bless her heart
Amazing both of you ! We need these stories.❤
Thank you for sharing. I will spread the advice to medical staff at Mayo. I work there.
Yes!!🙌
I love the title of this book. Her story about her wedding night, reminded me of Marie Antoinettes wedding night. Men can just get a divorce, No problem! She is still unable to live her own life. Prison! And of course a knee or elbow will cause men to go crazy. It's the women's fault. Same culty scene.
Im Jewish orthodox -masorti but from a reform background and this has connected with my estranged lesbian non binary trans self so much, you are so fucking cool. You saying im so gay made me bounce as well as your bi daughter story! I can't wait to have this as my next shabbat read x
Edit to add, much solidarity to those staying or leaving hassidic communities, added my fram e of reference because I know we come from different places x
Is there a high rate of suicide among women in these high control groups? I only ask because I have such compassion for these women. Her speaking about addiction and her chosen sober family at the end touched me.
Great question! I’ll save this and ask her when we go live.
@@CultstoConsciousness
Yes, that is a great question.
I am Jewish but not Hasidic.
Suicide is taboo and a disgrace in Judaism. Perhaps that is why you never hear of religious Jews commiting suicide . Perhaps it is happening but covered up.
On the other hand, the secular press abounds with stories about "off the derech" Jews who kill themselves after leaving the religion. Groups like Footsteps have done wonders to help those who leave and prevent their suicides.
I am Jewish and Hasidic and I can remember 1 suicide attempt of a young guy, not more than that.
Have in mind that some stuff she said are against Jewish law, like not knowing till 48 hours before her wedding about sex...
I am married, to a man my parents suggested, but I made the decision to marry, happily married, we have a great relationship as well as intimate relationship.
We have 2 kids, and never has anyone put pressure on me to do something I don't want, or the opposite... And we are in contact with a rabbi to ask questions about Judaism.
I was shocked to listen to this interview, and wish her all the best!
@@keashablew7728 no there's absolutely not. If something it's the other way around
So she was basicly a married single mom.
She had to do everything. Provide finically be the breadwinner and be the primary parent.
That dynamic rarely works.
The parent doing it all eventually starts resenting the other one.
I had 3 under 3 and can’t imagine having to do all that.
Thank you Dr Sarah for all the information you provided
Amazing interview. Fortunately, I never allowed any religion to ruin my life, influence my thinking or control me in any way. Can't wait to read her book.
You're very fortunate.
Happy birthday Sara❤️🎉🎁 Thank you for speaking up and guiding others. I wish you to find a caring partner if you haven't found her yet. I would like to get in to touch with you to talk and share mutually. I was raised catholic. It wasn't as strict and sheltered as what you experienced but the expectations were high. I'm also a lesbian who hosted conferences about homosexuality in my 20's. I came out to thousands but had not told my parents. The fear of hurting and deceiving them was too strong. This was many years ago. I'm now on my own and still semi-closeted because I would lose my license to practice if the medical community knew I'm gay. I've seen it happen.
I'm grateful for all I have and who I've become. Feel free to reach out if so inclined. Take care, Sara. 😉
Wow! I’m so glad you got away and can be yourself! I’ll be following you! ❤
So vulnerable and real. Thank you for sharing.
Such a moving interview
Thank you for sharing. I'm from a different group with similar cultural barriers. I left a marriage, so lost my job, friends, and numerous relatives. Also completing qualifications to achieve my dream job. Also, I am writing a book about my experience. Just wanted to say, you rock❤❤❤ I'd love to collaborate about our different yet similar cultural and group barriers and how they've impacted our lives. Think it would be educational👍
What an awsome grounded lady. So proud of her!
Incredibly valuable content, thank you!
Great interview! Happy birthday! Looking forward to reading your books.
Thank you for sharing your story. May you have peace and love in your life.
Such a brave lady. Such a struggle to leave.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Incredible hearing all the behind the scene details af such secretive communities. Thank you for sharing. And Wish you the best.❤❤❤
What an intelligent, articulate woman. Thank you so much for sharing.
Great questions, Shelise.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing. That was very inspiring ❤